Without You

1. Without You

Author’s Notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER! (Sorry this is uber late :/ ) Right. Now then, this is kindasorta a song-fic. BUT WAIT! Don’t hit the back button just yet :P. I’m not going to be sticking random chunks of lyrics throughout the story- I don’t like that. Instead, I’ll put the whole song at the end of the story if you want to read them. The song itself (Without You) is from my favorite musical (and soon to be movie!) RENT. It’s not my favorite song from the play, but it attracts plot bunnies :P

This fic was very roughly betaed and I deeply apologize for any grammar mistakes and if it seems a bit rushed :/ I wanted to get it up as soon as possible (it’s all ready late enough =|) So please, enjoy!

“It’s me.”

Her mind whirled with panic and dread. It couldn’t be, it just couldn’t be.

“No,” she whispered softly, shaking her head furiously as is trying to rid herself of his words.

“Yes Hermione.” he sounded tired- and old. So old; and yet he was only eighteen. “It’s me and you know it.”

She did know it. She knew for weeks now but she had hoped and prayed that she was wrong, for once in her life she wanted to be wrong. But it made sense. It was sick and horrifying but it was right. ‘Oh my God it’s right’

“No,” she repeated again, tears streaming quietly down her cheeks.

“Please Hermione, just admit it. When he came after me, the first time- seventeen years ago, he had the horcrux ready. Then, the spell backfired and…I became the horcrux.” How could he be so calm about this?

“Harry, what if you’re wrong?” she was sobbing now. ‘Please God let him be wrong’.

“I’m not Hermione,” he pointed to his scar. “It’s not just a scar, it’s keeping him alive, and it needs to be destroyed.”

“Harry no! There has to be another way!” she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms so tightly around his neck promising to never, ever let go. He stroked her hair whispering softly while she cried.

“No other way,” he was struggling to keep his emotions in check; he had to be strong for her.

“I’m just one person. If I don’t kill Voldemort, who knows what would happen. He’ll kill hundreds- no thousands, more.”

“Don’t say that! You’re not ‘just one person’! You’re Harry-”

“Harry. Just Harry,” he told her gently. “I have to do it Hermione, I have to! He’ll be gone; all this war and horror will be gone.”

“But you’d be gone!”

“That’s…a sacrifice I have to make. Without me, the world will be safe from him. Without me, life goes on.”

She finally pulled away from him so she could look into his eyes.

“I’d die without you.”

“Don’t say that,” he whispered and cupped her check. “You’re going to live a long, happy, peaceful life. The life that you deserve.”

“Not without you Harry,” she let her head drop to his shoulder. “You’re the most important thing in my life; I can’t lose you.”

He didn’t say anything back, he just held her for the longest time; knowing very well it could be the last.

***

“How are you going to do it?” she had avoided brining it up for a week now, but he was leaving tomorrow and not returning.

“It’ll be tricky,” he sighed. “Profe-er…Remus is going to be the one to…perform the curse. I have to do the same to Voldemort at the same time.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“Please stop worrying,” his voice was so strained.

‘He’s seen too much for his age. He’s so young and he’s seen murder, curses, suicide, pain. So much pain.’ She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it slightly. It was such a simple act, so kind and very Hermioneish that he let the tears that had been threatening to fall for years roll down his cheeks.

***

The battle was raging on and she ran faster than she had ever ran before. Tears rolled down her face leaving trails down her dirty and bloody face. She dodged corpses and spells, resisting the urge to vomit at the metallic stench of blood.

“HARRY!” she dove to the ground narrowly missing the jet of green light that zipped past her.

She pointed her wand over her shoulder and shouted “AVADA KEDAVRA” she turned to see her spell hit Bellatrix Lestrang right in the gut. If she had more time she would have gawked at the corpse, horrorstruck that she had taken another’s life. But time was running short…

“HARRY!” She scrambled to her feet and called his name again and again hoping her voice would carry of the din of the war.

She ran faster and farther away from the battlefield until the shrieks of terror were only a dull buzzing in her ear.

An arm jutted out from behind a large oak tree, pulling her behind it.

“Hermione what are you doing here?” Harry hissed running his hands over her face to prove that she was really there.

“I-I just came to say goodbye.” ‘Love’

He grabbed her roughly but the wait and hugged her tightly. “I have to go,” he sobbed into her ear.

“I know. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Hermione. I…thank you, for everything.”

She watched in horror and he squared his shoulders and walked to the small graveyard where Voldemort was waiting. She closed her eyes tightly trying to stop the flow of tears, trying to block out the sounds of war, trying to convince herself that she was just imaging the three voices that shouted “Avada Kedavra”, trying with all her might to ignore the pain in her heart.

She found herself running again. To the graveyard, to Harry. She stumbled on the uneven ground of the cemetery grabbing various headstones to keep herself up. She looked around; it all seemed so….calm. And then- there, there he was, laying there so peacefully he could have been sleeping. She dragged herself over to where he lay, completely ignoring the flock of people that were gathering around Voldemort’s remains. She dropped to knees when she reached his body, a fresh wave of nausea washing over her.

“No, no, no,” she sobbed to herself before flinging her body across Harry’s corpse. She ran her hands over his face, neck, chest and arms as if it would bring him back. “Harry…” she sobbed. “Please come back.” She lifted her head to stare at his face- eyes closed, mouth slightly agape. She crushed her lips against his sobbing harder. “Harry, please…” She kissed his eyelids, his cheeks, his neck, his lips…

“I love you,” she buried her face into his chest and sobbed loudly.

The shrieks of “HE’S GONE! THE DARK LORD IS GONE!” were completely ignored by her. “IT’S OVER!!!”

‘It‘s over…’

~End~

Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you

The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you

Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves

Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash

The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you

The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you

The world revives
Colors renew
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me, blue
Without you


Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats


Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe


The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you

Life goes on
But I'm gone
Cause I die


Without you

Without you

Without you

Without you