It Wasn't Supposed to Be Like This

Bingblot

Rating: G
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 07/10/2005
Last Updated: 17/10/2005
Status: completed

It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be you and Harry, not Hermione and Harry. Why did nobody understand that? Ginny's PoV- followed by Hermione's PoV. One-shot.

Chapters

1. It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This and Perfect

2. Dream Come True

1. It Wasn't Supposed to be Like This and Perfect

Disclaimer: I own nothing; JKR owns everything. No money is being made, etc etc.

Author’s Note: Two short, related one-shots. My first real attempt to write evil!Ginny.

Enjoy!

It Wasn’t Supposed to Be Like This

You got well and truly sloshed when you first heard the news.

You smiled and said the required, expected words of congratulations and happiness and you didn’t show them anything of your true feelings.

You didn’t show your shock that Harry had actually been serious about Hermione all along.

You’ve gotten very good at not showing what you really think.

It’s only later when you’re alone and they’re gone and you can’t be tormented by Hermione flaunting the diamond on her hand, the diamond that should be yours, that you break down.

You cried and smashed things and pounded your pillow and you drank.

And all the time you wondered, why? What had gone wrong? This wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. It was all wrong, you knew that. You and Harry had always been meant to be. You’d known that from the first. It was destiny, you and Harry. You both looked so good together, like the re-incarnation of Lily and James whom everyone agreed had been the most loving couple if only they hadn’t been killed too early.

You’d let him go at the end your 5th year because you knew he needed to do what he needed to do alone. But you always knew he’d come back and you’d be together again when all the mess was taken care of. You’ve just been waiting.

Except you hadn’t planned for Hermione. You hadn’t thought that Hermione would distract Harry like that except you found that after spending so much time with her (it had to be from that, the sheer availability and proximity of her; it couldn’t be anything else; what other attractions did Hermione have?), Harry started to think of Hermione differently.

But that was okay at first.

You could wait a little longer for Harry to realize that he’s destined to be with you. Hermione was just a distraction, a temporary thing. Harry couldn’t really be serious about her, couldn’t really love her—how could he when you knew perfectly well he really was in love with you?

But now everything was all wrong. It’s wrong!

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Harry was supposed to get bored with Hermione and come back to you; he wasn’t supposed to propose to her.

You didn’t say anything though because you knew better. You just waited for what you were sure was going to happen, waited for the news that Harry and Hermione’s engagement had been broken off. You knew it was going to happen; it had to.

You’d be patient and good and just wait…

You were still waiting as Hermione walked up the aisle towards Harry who wasn’t smiling but looked solemn—and if you didn’t know better, you’d think he looked amazed and grateful—but of course, he couldn’t be.

He wasn’t smiling and that was what mattered. He was finally realizing his mistake.

But then she reached his side and they turned to face the presiding wizard and you realized that of course Harry was too nice to just break up with Hermione like this. It was up to you to save him.

“Wait!” you cried out.

There’s a sharp collective intake of breath as everyone turned to stare at you. You saw Ron frowning at you and heard your Mum hiss, “Ginny, what are you doing?!”

You ignored them all—they didn’t understand—you just looked at Harry.

“Harry, you know you don’t really want to marry Hermione. You don’t really love her. You love me, you’ve always loved me!”

Hermione gasped and paled and her hand slipped out of Harry’s, you saw with approval. Of course she would have known it too…

You moved closer to Harry, holding out your hand. “Come on, Harry. It’s not fair to Hermione to marry her when you really love me.”

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and you could see the struggle inside him and when he opened his eyes, you thought you’d won and smiled your prettiest smile at him.

“No,” he said flatly, quietly.

You stared, your smile fading. You didn’t understand.

“No,” he said again. “I love Hermione. I want to marry Hermione.”

“But you can’t!” you blurted out, so shocked at Harry’s continued delusion you forgot the other people around you, forgot everything except him and her and you. “You can’t! I mean, look at her! She’s just—Hermione! You love me, you’ve always loved me since your 6th year, remember? I’ve been waiting for you all this time since then…” You let your voice tremble and your face fall to hide your tears and blinked until you felt the tears well up before you looked up at him.

He looked at you, swallowed and then looked at Hermione, who’d slowly backed up until there was a few feet of space between her and him.

Of course you’d win if he just looked at you and then at her. You know how pretty you look when you cry as opposed to Hermione, whose nose gets red and her eyelids swollen when she cries.

“You can’t,” you say again. “Just look at her…”

He did look at her but when he spoke, it was to you.

“I am looking at her,” he said quietly. “But you don’t see what I see when I look at her. I see my best friend. I see loyalty and kindness and cleverness. I see my past in the one person who’s always been there for me, my present in the woman I’m going to marry, my future in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I see love…”

You gasped. “But- but…”

He walked over to her and took her hand.

He walked over to her—and you could only stare. Stare at this destruction of all your dreams and your hopes and your plans. Stare at this evidence of the world gone wrong.

His voice was still quiet but it sounded loud in the intense silence.

“I love you, Hermione. I always have and I always will. Marry me?”

And she smiled slightly through the tears in her eyes. “I already answered that question.”

He pulled her close to him and hugged her and then kissed her, his hands framing her face tenderly and you knew that as far as they were concerned, they were alone. They’d completely forgotten about their audience. They’d forgotten about you.

You felt Ron put a hard hand on your shoulder and looked at him expecting to see sympathy for your broken heart but he glared at you instead. He glared at you! But it wasn’t your fault!

You jerked your shoulder away from his grasp and ran, ran from all these people who just couldn’t- didn’t- understand.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

It wasn’t supposed to end this way—with you alone and Harry and Hermione together… It just wasn’t…

Why did nobody understand that?

~~~~

Perfect

It was supposed to be the perfect day, the happiest day of her life, unmarred by anything disagreeable or sad.

It was supposed to be…

Things had been going so well, so perfectly too.

For once in her life, she felt beautiful when she looked at herself in the mirror and whispered to herself, “I’m getting married today.”

And it was a dream come true, clichéd phrase as it was.

It was perfect as she walked down the aisle, alone (she’d told her father that, for this, she was giving herself, going into marriage with both eyes open and of her own free will), towards Harry.

Her eyes met his and their gazes held all the while she walked slowly towards him—and in his eyes, she could read the same amazement she still sometimes felt. My God… we’re getting married. We’re getting married… How did we get to be so lucky?

Merlin knew it hadn’t been easy for them to get together; they had had to deal with worry over how Ron would react, how the Weasleys would react (especially as they knew that Mrs. Weasley had never quite given up her hope that Harry and Ginny would end up marrying—but in the end, they’d found that Mrs. Weasley’s maternal heart only wanted Harry to be happy and if Hermione made him happy, she was happy too)… But more than that, they’d had to deal with how to work together as a couple, the old friendship that had sustained them both for so long suddenly gone and replaced by something new and strange and so intense it frightened them…

But they had overcome it all and she’d never been more sure of anything in her life as when she’d said, ‘yes’ to Harry’s proposal.

She finally reached Harry’s side and they both turned to face the presiding wizard…

And then the nightmare began.

“Wait!” Ginny’s voice broke the silence and they both turned to stare, and deep inside her, Hermione felt her heart flinch. She’d been afraid of this, so afraid of this… Somehow, she’d always believed, sensed somehow, that Ginny wasn’t over her feelings for Harry, no matter what she said or how she smiled… And there was still the small fear, unacknowledged for the most part, that maybe- just maybe- Harry did care about Ginny still… Ginny had been his first real girlfriend and she was so pretty and so—well, perfect, it almost seemed sometimes.

And she- she was just Hermione. Books and cleverness.

“Harry, you know you don’t really want to marry Hermione. You don’t really love her. You love me, you’ve always loved me!”

And somehow hearing the words she’d only thought in her worst nightmares hurt… Oh they hurt so much. Because she was afraid they just might be true…

She trusted Harry; she did—but somehow, there was still the tiny part of her that couldn’t help but doubt.

She flinched involuntarily and heard a gasp and belatedly realized it had come from her, as her hand, numb with shock, slipped out of Harry’s.

Ginny moved closer to Harry, holding out her hand. “Come on, Harry. It’s not fair to Hermione to marry her when you really love me.”

And still Harry didn’t say anything. Why wouldn’t he say something, anything?

His silence was breaking her heart as every doubt, every insecurity she had ever had, started roaring in her mind, drowning out the voice of reason, of trust, telling her she knew Harry loved her, that he’d told her so many times and showed how he felt about her so many times… And yet… And yet…

Ginny smiled—and God, she did look beautiful, so appealing, standing there in her dress robes…

She felt tears well up and she knew that if Harry had any doubts, she would have to leave him. She loved him too much to tie him to her when he wasn’t sure, had too much pride to settle for less than his complete heart. She would have to let him go…

She just didn’t know where she would get the strength to do it.

But then he spoke, finally, his voice quiet but sure. “No.”

The simple word went through her like an electric shock, as hope began to rally in her heart.

“No,” he said again. And then the words that made the nightmare begin to end. “I love Hermione. I want to marry Hermione.”

“But you can’t!” Ginny burst out again. “You can’t! I mean, look at her! She’s just—Hermione! You love me, you’ve always loved me since your 6th year, remember? I’ve been waiting for you all this time since then…”

She flinched and stepped back as Ginny’s words hit her with all the force of physical blows.

She was only herself, just Hermione, plain bookworm Hermione…

Harry looked at Ginny and then at Hermione and then back at Ginny as Ginny said, “You can’t. Just look at her.”

And he did.

His eyes met and held hers—and suddenly she knew she’d been an idiot to doubt him for even a second. She could see it in his eyes; she didn’t even need the words. But he gave her the words anyway and knew he was saying them for her sake, even though he addressed Ginny. And his gaze never wavered from hers.

“I am looking at her,” he said quietly. “But you don’t see what I see when I look at her. I see my best friend. I see loyalty and kindness and cleverness. I see my past in the one person who’s always been there for me, my present in the woman I’m going to marry, my future in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I see love…”

And she knew she would never doubt him or his love again. She couldn’t.

She hardly even heard Ginny’s faint protest; she was only aware of Harry, slowly closing the distance between them and once more taking her hand in his.

“I love you, Hermione,” he said quietly. “I always have and I always will. Marry me?” In his eyes, she could read the apology for this interruption to what was supposed to have been their perfect day, his attempt to make up for Ginny’s harsh words by saying this in front of all their family and friends who were here, to put an end to any doubts that might still exist of his feelings for her.

And she smiled through the happy tears in her eyes. “I already answered that question,” she half-teased and knew that he would understand that she didn’t blame him, that there was nothing to forgive.

He returned her smile and then his arms closed around her with almost stunning force and she realized he must have been more shaken by Ginny’s words than his words had let on, not because he doubted his feelings but because he hated having to hurt Ginny by rejecting her so flatly.

He drew back after a moment, lifting his hands to frame her face in one of his characteristic loving gestures and then he kissed her. It was a soft kiss but full of feeling, a kiss of love and trust and faith—a kiss of promise for the rest of their lives together…

When the kiss finally ended and they were brought back to a sense of where they were, they realized that everyone was smiling.

The presiding wizard cleared his throat. “Well, after that, the ceremony almost seems redundant.”

They laughed and moved back to stand in front of the wizard, hand in hand, as he began to speak the words that would officially bind them together for life.

And as she said the words, promising to love and be faithful to Harry for the rest of her life, she thought that, after all, this was still a perfect day…

Because in the end, that was what she needed for a perfect day: this perfect trust… And that would get them through the not-so-perfect days.

~The End~

2. Dream Come True

A/N: This is for all of you who wanted Harry’s PoV, enjoy!

For Anne, Jacy Evans, k_t18, Libbie and everyone else I met at the H/Hr Shippers Meet up at TWH. *hugs*

~~~~~

Dream Come True

He was dreaming, he thought.

But the next minute he decided that if he were dreaming, he never wanted this dream to end.

She was coming towards him, a soft smile just touching her lips; she was—she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen or ever dreamed of seeing. She was all he’d ever wanted in his life—and she was his…

His heart swelled with a mixture of love and poignant joy and awe as she reached his side and hand in hand, they turned to face the presiding wizard.

There was a sort of buzzing in his ears so it took him a moment to process and realize what he heard next.

“Wait!” A sharp, high protest from a voice he knew: Ginny… He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering why he wasn’t particularly surprised. Not that he’d been expecting this—and yet—he realized that some little part of him had been so sure that something would happen to mar this dream of happiness. It was, had always been, too good to be true—at least for him. He was Harry Potter; he didn’t have dreams come true like this…

He heard a collective intake of breath from everyone watching as he turned slowly around to face her.

Ginny met his eyes directly, a look of appeal, of hope—of, he realized with something like a twist of his heart, confidence—in her eyes and on her face. Confidence… She really had no doubt of what she was saying; she was so sure that he really loved her and not Hermione…

“Harry, you know you don’t really want to marry Hermione. You don’t really love her. You love me, you’ve always loved me!”

He stared at her, some part of his mind that somehow remained detached, noticing just how pretty she looked with the tears glittering in her eyes, the appealing expression, one hand reaching out in invitation.

He felt a slight chill in his hand and realized Hermione had slipped her hand out of his and he felt the first pang of apprehension. Surely—surely she couldn’t doubt…

“Come on, Harry. It’s not fair to Hermione to marry her when you really love me.”

He looked at Ginny, remembering those few weeks they’d been together in his 6th year, remembering that she’d been his first real girlfriend. She had been—in his boyish eyes—the embodiment of all that was pretty and attractive… Looking at her now, he wondered where all that attractiveness had gone. Oh Ginny was still pretty, beautiful he supposed, by any standards—but there was something almost hard about her beauty, he thought dispassionately. And looking at her, all he felt was pity. She had never been denied anything she wanted, he suddenly realized, as the youngest child and only daughter of a family as kind as the Weasleys. It was what made her so confident, something that had been appealing years ago but now, he could only think that it was selfish, this single-mindedness in her pursuit of what she wanted. She really didn’t care, he thought, about disrupting a wedding, about how much she might hurt Hermione… All she cared about was getting what she wanted…

He belatedly realized how silent everything was, that everyone was wondering what he was going to say, how he would react.

But there was really only one thing to say. “No,” he said quietly, even gently. He wondered for a moment why he felt no anger at Ginny—and yet he didn’t. He felt only pity.

“No,” he repeated again. “I love Hermione. I want to marry Hermione.”

“But you can’t!” Ginny burst out, desperation beginning to tinge her voice. “You can’t! I mean, look at her! She’s just—Hermione! You love me, you’ve always loved me since your 6th year, remember? I’ve been waiting for you all this time since then…”

He felt the first tinge of anger at how easily she dismissed Hermione, looking from Ginny to Hermione—at the truer beauty of her—and then back at Ginny.

“You can’t! Just look at her,” Ginny said again, her voice rising.

He looked at Hermione, his eyes meeting hers and recognized, with a pang, the flicker of hurt in her eyes. She did doubt his feelings… After all, the small streak of vulnerability, of insecurity, couldn’t be completely gotten rid of. And looking at her, he knew exactly what he needed to say, to reassure her once and for all that he was, and always would be, hers.

He addressed Ginny but his gaze didn’t waver from Hermione’s. And part of him was glad to have this opportunity to declare his feelings for Hermione to Ginny and to everyone else. “I am looking at her,” he began quietly. “But you don’t see what I see when I look at her.” He looked at her and he remembered years of friendship and unwavering devotion, remembered all the times she’d questioned him to make sure he was ok, to make sure he was keeping up with his homework, even—because she cared about him and worried about him… He remembered years of trust and believing in him, when no one else did. He remembered tears and smiles and laughs—and dangers faced together… “I see my best friend. I see loyalty and kindness and cleverness. I see my past in the one person who’s always been there for me, my present in the woman I’m going to marry, my future in the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I see love…”

Slowly, he moved towards her, taking her hand, as any thoughts of their audience- of Ginny- of anyone besides her- faded from his mind. “I love you, Hermione,” he said softly. I love you… I’m sorry… I’ll never make you doubt me again… “I always have and I always will. Marry me?” he asked again, somehow needing to hear her say the words again.

She smiled through her tears. “I already answered that question,” she said softly, the beginnings of amusement in her tone.

And he knew that the last doubts had been put to rest for good… His arms closed around her, holding her to him as his heart swelled with relief and joy—and the simple certainty that now, nothing could ever come between them again.

He let her go only to cup her face gently with his hands, the face he knew so well and never tired of looking at. And then he kissed her, letting his kiss tell her all he felt.

And he knew that this dream really was coming true—as the last of his fears that this was too good to be happening was put to rest… He was with Hermione, would always be with Hermione—and with her, he could face anything the fates had in store for him.

~The End~

(for real, this time)