Beginning of the End

fortheloveoftoast

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 08/10/2005
Last Updated: 08/11/2005
Status: in_progress

Dear Diary, It is October 31st, 1981. Halloween night. I have an unbidden feeling that something is going to happen tonight. I can’t avoid it no matter how much I try. It seems like just yesterday when my life had changed forever. And throughout that time my life kept changing and now I am here today. Lily Potter is writing in her diary, telling about the last years of her life.

Chapters

1. Dear Diary

2. Chapter 1 - Secrets

3. untitled

1. Dear Diary

Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

It is October 31st, 1981. Halloween night. I have an unbidden feeling that something is going to happen tonight. I can't avoid it no matter how much I try. It seems like just yesterday when my life had changed forever. And throughout that time my life kept changing and now I am here today.

I'm different, I have changed so much since I first got my Hogwarts Letter, found out I was a witch, first stepped on to the miraculous Hogwarts Express unaware of all of what was laid out in front of me from then until the rest of my life.

My name is Lily Evans, 21 and a muggleborn witch, old enough to have loved and lived; even old enough to die. Some think that maybe 21 is just the beginning of a life but my life was never actually normal.

When I was little my parents told me that where ever I went unusual happenings were usually in my wake. I was such an odd child compared to my sister Petunia, who lived for normalcy. As a child I loved reading books about the supernatural, witches and wizards and magical intrigue. I never expected magic to be real. But it is, as real as I am standing here today. I still remember that day long ago clearly the day I started my transformation.

I had woken up on a sunny summer day to an impatient tapping to on my window. I then proceeded to fling open my curtains to find a beautiful owl sitting on the window sill. To find an owl at my window was odd enough but I was intrigued. I opened to window and the creature flew in and dropped a letter into my hands. My Hogwarts letter. For the rest of the day all I could remember was a flurry of questions and almost panic. A wizard from the school came and explained it to all of us and by the end of the day it was decided, I was going to Hogwarts. From that moment on my life was filled was all the hustle and bustle of getting school supplies and reading books about the wizarding world so I would be filled in on everything. My parents were proud as can be. I couldn't wait for school to start. From the moment I stepped on to the train to the moment I stepped off today is such a blur. Though these seven years has probably been the most memorable blur I have ever experienced.

Everyone always told me to start stories at the beginning but I have never been a big fan of that rule. Yes I could tell you all about my seven years at Hogwarts but frankly I would find that unbearably tedious. I looked over to my young son who sat in his crib staring up at me as I write this and I decided where to start my story. I have always said that when one chapter of my life ends another begins, so this story begins at an ending point and a starting point, at the end of my childhood and the beginning of the end. Seventh year, still so much of a blur but yet so clear, the turning part of my life. So this is where I shall start, at the beginning of a new year, the most memorable year, seventh year, three years ago�

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I looked up at the huge clock at the train station, 10:58. Shoot, I only have 2 minutes until the train leaves the station. I quickened my pace, thinking about the morning. As usual I was greeted by my mother and father all teary-eyed at the thought of me leaving. My sister never missing a chance to ridicule me was waiting in the car for the trip to King's Cross. Ever since my birthday she had been dating this complete jerk named Vernon apparently she loved him and they were already talking about marriage. God, they had only been together for two months! So in the car she was talking about her boyfriend the whole time. When we got to the station at quarter of 11 she was still babbling. I waited for ten minutes until I got the chance to say good bye and escape. Now I am running at full speed towards platform 9 and

2. Chapter 1 - Secrets

Chapter 1

I quickly found which compartment that Caitlyn was in. Caitlyn is a pureblood and her mom always obsesses about how she can't be late for the train so she is always there about and hour early so she always gets a compartment near the front of the train. I walked in to find her reading a book. Her long, wavy brown hair covered her face from view.

“Hey, watch you reading?”

She talked without looking up at me her eyes scanning the page in front of her, “Hogwarts a History.”

“Oh of course,” I said dryly. “Is there anything new about Hogwarts we should know?”

This comment made her look up. Her dark brown eyes looked into mine, “Hey why didn't you tell me you were Head Girl?”

“What?”

She gestured to the book, “It updates all the time.”

“Oh that. Well I just found out the other day. I thought I'd tell you now.” I was uncomfortable with the subject. I knew she wanted so bad to be Head Girl and it is my fault she isn't.

“Oh okay. Lils, don't you have go to the Head's compartment talk to the prefects?”

“Shoot, okay I'll be back after.”

“But Lily...”

I didn't hear what she said because I was already out the door running towards the Head's compartment. I flung the door open to a compartment full of prefects and-oh no-Potter!

He looked at my shocked face and chuckled slightly. “Hey Evans you are late.”

“I-I well.” I managed to stutter. Then I realized how ridiculous I looked and walked towards Potter. “Don't let me interrupt you, continue on.” I gestured to the prefects.

He talked for a long time to the prefects telling them the passwords, what their job was to do. I contributed my fair share of comments and then we sent the prefects on their way.

I turned to look at him, “You're Head Boy?” I asked incredulously.

“Of course, I always knew Dumbledore was insane.”

I made a face and turned away. “Okay I am going now. We can talk about this whole Head Boy and Girl thing later.” Then I left slamming the door behind me. I ran to the compartment where Caitlyn was again hunched over Hogwarts a History. I ran to her, snatched the book away and flipped to the page with the Head's listed on it. Sure enough Potter's name was there in black and white.

“Why didn't you tell me he was Head Boy?” I cried and collapsed on the seat next to her.

She turned to me her eyes full of sympathy, “Oh Lils, I tried to tell you but you left before…”

“Oh it's okay Cait. I understand.”

We spent the rest of the train ride talking about the new year. Remus Lupin, Caitlyn's boyfriend walked in at some point to say hi to me and Caitlyn. Soon enough we were at Hogwarts. The feast went by rather normally, with the sorting and the food and then Caitlyn and I walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Potter and I talked about how we would split up the duties equally and the fact that we didn't have to see each other at all out side our duties and weekly meetings. For a couple months everything went well but every full moon I had to take over his duties because he had to do something. It wasn't a problem until the third time it happened. He once again excused himself from duties and I finally confronted him about what he was doing those nights.

He looked at me warily. “I really can't tell you Lily…”

“Don't call me Lily, and yes you can tell me!” I snapped

“Okay Evans. I can't tell you because it is a private matter, and telling you would hurt one of my friends.”

“Potter! I am glad that you care about your friends but these are your duties!”

“Fine I'll make them up for you if you want me too but I won't tell you.” He shouted at me.

I had never seen him this angry but before I could say anything he thundered off. It was then I decided I would find out what he was up too if it killed me. And it almost did… literally.

I got a prefect to take over my duties. I sat in the shadows of the common room away from the waning fire. I heard more than saw Potter creep from his dormitory with his best friends Remus, Sirius and Peter. They crept out of the portrait hole and when the door shut, I couldn't believe it. They were sneaking out! As Head Girl I was determined to find out what they were up to and catch them in the act. I knew that Potter and his group were notorious for playing pranks, but this didn't seem like a prank. I stumbled out of the portrait hole and followed them out of the castle. I walked through the heavy door just as the full moon came out of the clouds, I looked out in time to see Remus transform into a-a werewolf. I screamed, shocked and tried to run away but not before the werewolf tuned to me, cold eyes wide, howled and started to run towards me. I looked at him fearfully glued to the spot. All I remember was someone screaming “Lily” and the same person catching me as I fainted in fright.

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I woke up in the hospital wing with Potter pacing in the space near my bed and Caitlyn reading yet another book at my bedside. The minute my eyes fluttered open Potter raced over to me.

“Oh, Lily I am so sorry!”

“Potter," I said irritably. “What did I say about calling me Lily? And what the heck are you doing here? Get out!”

Potter looked at me with a slightly pained expression and then turned and walked off drudgingly.

Caitlyn looked up at me then and said, “You are awake.”

I glared at her. “Well obviously! It doesn't take an idiot to realize that.” I snapped. I instantly regretted that when I saw her expression. “Oh Cait, I am so sorry!” She just looked at me steadily. I quickly changed the subject. “What happened last night?”

She broke her gaze her eyes looking down at the cover of her book. “Well from what James told me you followed him, Remus, Sirius and Peter outside.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “I know that.” Caitlyn always calls Potter by his first name. She says that everyone has their own individual name and that we should use them. Whatever I hate it when she gets all philosophical.

“Okay! So when you screamed Remus went to attack you. Oh why did you have to scream you could have just run away and then Remus wouldn't have to be so guilty that he almost hurt you?”

“Well he almost did!” I couldn't believe that she would defend him and not me.

“He wasn't in his right mind,” she wailed.

“Well then maybe he should leave Hogwarts go to an insane asylum. St. Mungo's in the least.” After I said this I knew I had gone too far.

“If you want me to tell you the story I will but I won't have you insulting Remus because of something that he can't control,” she said coolly. I had seen Caitlyn angry before but I had never been the one to instill it. And frankly I was scared.

“Cait, please tell me what happened. I am so sorry I went way too far. I'm just so confused.”

“Okay.” she said and continued on.

Even though her tone had lost its edge I could still tell she was angry. I had been her friend long enough to know that most of the anger was confusion. Whom should she be defending: Me, her best friend or Remus, her boyfriend? We both meant so much to her. I could picture her yelling at Remus about what might have happened to me in spite of all the time she spent defending him. I found out later that I wasn't that far off on that.

“So a few seconds after you screamed you fainted, James who was the closest to you caught you before you fell to the ground. He then carried you all the way here while Sirius and Peter distracted Remus in their animagus forms.”

“Wait, they are animagi?” I seriously thought I was hallucinating. I mean I knew they weren't registered and I didn't think they would be that stupid as to take that risk but I guess I really underestimated them.

“What? Oh yeah they became animagi in like fifth year or something so that they could help Remus with his transformation, something about animals or something.” I could tell she was distracted for some reason. I any other circumstance she would be spurting out facts. I knew she wanted to be done with this conversation but I couldn't help but be curious.

“So you knew all about this and you didn't tell me?” I asked accusingly.

She looked at me exasperated. “Lils, you have to understand. When Remus and I started dating he told me about the werewolf thing so that he could be completely honest with me. I couldn't tell you because it wasn't my secret to tell. But I really didn't know about the animagus thing until James told me. You really should thank James and apologize for your rudeness earlier. I mean he did save your life. And you should also talk to Remus about what happened. And you could even thank Sirius and Peter too.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “I'll think about it.”

“Lily,” she said warily.

“Oh fine why don't you go get him and then you can go and do whatever you want to do? You seem a little distant.”

She looked at me gratefully and all but skipped off saying about how she was going to leave anyways so as to leave James and I alone. I was hoping she didn't want to get away from me, just the hospital. I knew she hated the hospital but lately I had been getting very irritable and hard to hang around with. Oh and as for the “alone thing. I have no idea what James and I could have possibly talked about or done that would involve us being alone.

A moment later Potter walked over to my bed. “Look Potter, I am sorry for yelling at you and thank you for saving my life.” Under my breath I mumbled, “Though it wasn't just you.”

“Oh, well, its no problem.” He looked away. “Hey Evans will you go with me to Hogmeade this weekend?”

I looked over at him, running my choices through my head. He had been asking me out for ages maybe if I said yes it would put a stop to all his nonsense. Every time I had said no because he was such a huge jerk and I had to think he was using me. But you know something about this time was different. He seemed as if he truly wanted me to go out with him. Maybe he always did. Also I remembered that I would be going to Hogsmeade alone anyways because Caitlyn would be with Remus. And he did save my life. It's the least I could do. “Okay, fine, but this time only!”

He turned to me his eyes regaining their sparkle I didn't realize they had lost. “Really?” He sounded like a 5 year old at Christmastime.

“Yeah.” I said trying to hide the reluctance in my voice.

“Okay well I'll see you later.” He ran out to wherever he was going.

I was left alone again, but not for long. About a split second later Madam Pomphrey bustled in muttering about adolescents and running. She told me that there was no use for me staying because I had only fainted and she thought I had gotten over the shock by now. I didn't have to be told twice and was out of there like a shot.

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3. untitled

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