What You Don't Know

Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor any of the characters in this story- I pretty much don't own anything affiliated with the Harry Potter series. They are the property of the amazing J. K. Rowling. I also don’t own the song Have You Ever by Brandy.

Author’s Note: This is just a small one-shot/songfic I thought up of when I should have been working on my other stories. But I simply couldn’t resist writing it up. It’s from Ginny’s point of view and the song is Have You Ever by Brandy. Please review.

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Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever? Have you ever?

-

I think I’ve been in love with you since forever. But you don’t even know it.

When you’re not looking, I watch you. This may sound scary, but I simply can’t help it. I watch you and love you despite what my head tells me I should be doing – despise you. If any of my family found out, I could imagine their reaction. They’d kill me.

But then they don’t see you, Draco Malfoy, like I do.

That behind that tough bad-boy exterior, behind the numerous insults, behind that annoying smirk, is someone completely different. And now I know what most people would be thinking right now if I told them, that I’m sounding incredibly sappy. And if I told you how I felt, you’d make some nasty insult and humiliate me – like you did in my first year when I had that ridiculous crush on Harry.

-

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same

-

But sometimes, just sometimes, I like to pretend that you notice me too. That you single me out because you have feelings for me, and you’re trying to resist them. That when you call me “poor” and “dirty” that it’s because you’re trying to hide your feelings.

But then I realise the reality of it all: I’m nothing, and never will be anything, to you.

-

Have you ever searched for the words to get to their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

-

I’ve seen you at your best – like whenever you win a quidditch match. The sheer joy in your face, something that I’ve rarely ever seen, I wish would appear on your face whenever you see me instead of your usual scorn. I still dream about that smile.

And I’ve seen you at your worst – like when I saw you crying in the abandoned girl’s bathroom. I wanted nothing more than to take you in my arms and tell you that everything was going to be all right. And I hate Moaning Myrtle, a ghost, because she was the one who could comfort you.

But I never had the courage.

-

Have you ever found that one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do anything to look into his eyes

-

I try to think just exactly what it is that makes me feel the way I do about you. I think it’s the fact that both of us know the feeling of inadequacy, of rejection, of failure. How many times have I failed to live up to the standards of my brothers and their friends? And how many times have I seen you fail to gain your father’s approval, especially when Harry, Ron or Hermione beat you at something?

And I guess I would have to be blind to say that you weren’t good looking. With you’re perfect blond hair, steel grey eyes and muscular physique, I’d say that you’re incredibly handsome, devastatingly so. In fact, you date a new girl each week. Whenever you see another more attractive girl, like a broomstick you trade the old model for the better newer one. And while you kiss your girlfriend whether it is secretly in the library or publicly in the Great Hall, I sit and watch quietly. Unnoticed by you.

Invisible.

Desperately envying the girl that you’re gazing at with what appears to be affection.

But you’d never hear me tell you that.

-

Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed you eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

-

Earlier today you actually spoke to me. You crashed into me while rushing to class. I looked up at you and noticed how near your lips were to mine, and how I wanted nothing more than to confess to you how I truly felt. But of course I couldn’t. You’d think I was a freak. For a moment I took comfort in the feel of your strong hard body against my own petite one, imagining what it would be like if you felt the same about me.

But then the next second I returned to my façade. I yelled at you, “Bugger off, ferret.” You glared and called me “Weasel”. I stormed off, cursing myself at my own stupidity.

No one can get to me like you do. And it hurts.

But you’re like a drug, I’m simply addicted to you.

-

What I got to do to get you in my arms baby
What I got to do to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Got to get you into my world
Because baby I can't sleep

-

And even now, I’m watching you while you flirt with Pansy Parkinson and kiss her hungrily. I turn green with jealousy; ignoring the odd looks Ron is giving me. My eyes are drawn to your lips. They’re a pale pink colour that look warm and inviting, despite your normally indifferent exterior. How I’d giving anything to kiss them, to hear them caress my name Ginevra tenderly instead of your usual taunts.

Merlin, I’m so stupid.

-

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right

Have you ever?

-

Of all the people I could have fallen for, it had to be you. And watching you now, one thought is running continuously through my mind.

I think I’ve been in love with you since forever.

But you don’t even know it.

-

Have you ever?