Secrets and Lies

diggingupophelia

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 23/10/2005
Last Updated: 23/10/2005
Status: completed

Ron was tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange the summer after sixth year. Harry and Hermione use a dangerous spell to save him. It opens their minds to each other and long buried feelings are exposed. Warnings: Spoilers for HBP. Dark Fic. H/G and R/Hr in the beginning. But I promise nothing over the top. Rating: Mature. Language and Violence.

Chapters

1. Part 1 of 2

2. Part 2 of 2

1. Part 1 of 2

Author/Artist: sapphiretragedy (on LJ) , diggingupophelia (on PK)

Title: Secrets and Lies

Prompt: Ron was tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange the summer after sixth year. Harry and Hermione use a dangerous spell to save him. It opens their minds to each other and long buried feelings are exposed.

Summary (for fics) Medium (for art): See above.

Warning (if applicable): Spoilers for HBP. Dark Fic.

Other ships (if applicable): H/G and R/Hr in the beginning. But I promise nothing over the top.

Rating: Mature. Language and Violence.

Notes (optional): This was a great way for me to come back to H/Hr. I had wandered for a while. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Comments and Concrit are welcomed. Flames are not welcomed.

*Originally posted to the LJ community hhr_serendipity for the 2005 H/Hr FQF

Part 1/2

***

Harry was lying on his bed in his room and he was sulking. Today had not been a good day. It was the first day back in Godric's Hollow that wasn't spent repairing the house and researching places that were meaningful to Voldemort's past. Of course, Ginny had taken the first opportunity to corner him for a discussion about where their relationship could go if Harry would just give it a chance. Harry was tired of having that conversation with her. He didn't want to see her get hurt; therefore, he couldn't commit himself to her at present. He really didn't understand what was so difficult to comprehend about the situation. Didn't she remember what happened to his mother and father because they loved each other? Didn't she see what happened to him? He wouldn't wish his life on anyone.

There was a knock at the door. Harry gave a frustrated sigh and rolled over on to his stomach and smashed his pillow down on his head. “Go away,” he yelled. His yell was, of course, muffled and the person on the other side of the door took the liberty of entering the room.

“Harry, I don't appreciate you storming away from me when I'm trying to have a civilized conversation with you,” huffed Ginny as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

Harry groaned into his pillow. He shifted in the bed so he was sitting up with his back against the pillows. “I didn't storm away. I told you that the conversation was over,” he said coolly. “You just don't seem to want the conversation to end until I give into whatever it is you want. I thought ambition was a Slytherin trait,” he said dryly.

“It's just that I think you're being silly about this. I mean, I did all that work to convince Mum and Dad to let me come with you and Ron and Hermione. What did you think I was doing it for Harry? Myself? I did it because I wanted to be with you, to support you.”

“ I know, Ginny,” he said in an agitated tone. “You've told me a billion times. It doesn't change how I feel. Look, I care about you. Because I care about you, things have to stay the way they are.” Harry mentally counted to ten and without fail, the tears started. Harry instinctively reached toward her to comfort her. However, she pulled away from him. This was new. “Ginny, look, I'm sorry. I'm doing this for you.”

“ No, you're doing it for yourself. You, Harry James Potter, are a selfish pillock!” she shouted as she stormed out of his room. Her anger was punctuated by the slamming of her bedroom door.

“That went well,” he muttered to himself sarcastically. Harry turned on his side and attempted to drift off to sleep. He was sure Hermione would wake him in a few hours to contemplate another one of her theories.

***

Harry was not wrong. Four hours after he had fallen into a restless sleep, he found himself being shaken awake by Hermione.

“Five more minutes and then I will look at anything you want, Hermione,” he said as he rolled away from her. Normally rolling away would get her to stop, however, she was relentless.

“Harry, you need to get up. Someone has tripped the wards, you need to get up and get your wand,” she said. Her voice as calm, but she was clearly alarmed.

Harry didn't need to be told twice. As he sat up in bed and rooted around for his wand he could hear the unmistakable shrill of the panic alarm charm. He stuffed his feet into his trainers and cast a charm to tie the laces.

“Hurry up, Harry!” she ordered in a commanding whisper.

He nodded. “Where are Ron and Ginny?” he asked.

“I don't know. I went to get them but their beds were empty. They may have gone for a walk. Ginny was in a state,” she explained.

“Would they have left the grounds? Fidelius doesn't extend that far … if someone was watching …,” he began in a panicked tone.

“Harry, they know not to leave,” she reassured him all the while worrying herself. “Now listen, I'll go around the back and you go to the front. It'll be better if we split up.”

“No, Hermione. We have to stay together. We'll go around the house. We have to stay back to back so we have our bases covered. Got it?”

Hermione acquiesced to his orders and they left the bedroom to search the inside of the house for intruders before moving to the outside to search the perimeter. The house was clear. The only thing prowling around was Crookshanks and he looked very upset at having his nap disturbed. Before the pair headed outside, Hermione refreshed the security wards so they would know if anyone tried to get into the house while they were outside.

“We should have grabbed your invisibility cloak, Harry,” whispered Hermione as they were hunched on the ground back to back as Harry peered around a corner to check if the coast was clear.

“We aren't going back now,” he replied. “It's all clear on this side, let's go.”

Harry and Hermione surveyed the perimeter of the house and found nothing. They were both utterly confused. The wards didn't set themselves off.

Harry turned to Hermione, “Do you think Ron and Ginny set off the wards by leaving the grounds?”

“It is a possibility, but I don't think either of them would be that stupid.”

“Hermione you know them both as well as I do and if Ginny is upset she isn't going to give a damn about what is stupid and what isn't and …”

“And Ron would have followed her to protect his sister,” she finished for him. The end of the statement was punctuated by an aggravated sigh.

“Well, come on, let's go searching for them,” Harry said as he made his way to the wrought iron fence that marked the end of the property line and thus the protection of the spell.

“Harry!” yelled Hermione. “Don't be stupid. We had better scry for them before we just go traipsing out there.”

“That is going to take too long. The sooner we find them, the better.”

“It will take us longer to look for them blindly. Now come on. I already have the maps out.”

“Fine,” he said following her into the house.

***

“Ginny wait up,” yelled Ron as he chased after his sister.

“Ronald, I am in no mood for your orders. If you can't keep up, then you should have stayed behind. Besides, Hermione isn't going to find it funny when she realizes you're gone.”

“You let me worry about what she's going to do. Stop right there. You can't go outside of those gates and you know it.”

“I am so tired of everyone telling me what is best for me,” she yelled. “ `We can't date Ginny because I have to protect you.' `You are going to return to Hogwarts next year, Ginny. End of discussion.' `You can't leave the grounds Ginny or a Death Eater will torture you.' “ She screamed at Ron. “I can take care of myself, Ronald. And be sure to let Harry know that as well.” As she spoke she pulled open the wrought iron gate and it opened with a squeak.

Ron hesitated for a moment before following Ginny out. He wanted to get Harry and Hermione, but he didn't think either of them would make the situation better. He ran after her closing the gate behind him.

***

“How stupid could they be?” asked Harry as he and Hermione followed the path outlined on the map. “And before you answer that, it was rhetorical,” he huffed.

“Don't snap at me, I'm not the one who wandered of,” Hermione said softly.

“Sorry. It's just that we went to all the trouble to make sure we'd all be safe until we were ready and she gets into one of her moods and this happens.”

Hermione knew better than to say a word. To say the non-relationship between Harry and Ginny had been tense would be the understatement of the millennium. When they weren't arguing they were ignoring each other. The rift between Harry and Ginny had begun to cause some problems between Ron and Hermione. Ron expected Hermione to side with Ginny because he did. He was very annoyed when Hermione stuck up for Harry. She and Ron had had such an argument tonight. They did apologize to each other, but there would be another row before the night was done.

“There they are,” said Harry. He was about to yell to them to get their attention when he heard the distinct pop of Apparation somewhere around them. He took the Invisibility cloak he had thrown over his arm and instinctively covered Hermione in it. “Stay here,” he whispered. “No matter what happens don't move.”

Harry took two steps toward the clearing but hesitated. He turned toward Hermione and took a page from Dumbledore's book and petrified her. He felt better knowing she was under the shelter of his cloak and couldn't get into harm's way.

Harry moved so that he was out in the open. He immediately noticed two cloaked figures closing in on Ron and Ginny. Each one grabbed a Weasley. Harry managed to cast a successful petrification charm on the Death Eater holding Ron in his or her clutches. Ron fell to the ground still caught in his captors grip.

Harry rounded on the Death Eater who had his or her wand pointed at Ginny. Harry pointed his own wand at the Death Eater. “Let her go. I'm the one you want.”

“No,” said the voice Harry recognized as belonging to Bellatrix Lestrange. “The Dark Lord wants you. He has great plans for you, Potter,” she spat. “This blood traitor, however, suits my needs nicely.”

“I don't love her. You can't hurt me by killing her,” he said. His voice was cold.

Ginny looked at him. She looked as if her heart had broken. Harry deliberately averted his gaze from her.

“Then you won't mind if she dies,” said Bellatrix as she trained her wand on the ginger haired girl in her grasp.

“I didn't say that I wouldn't mind. I said you couldn't hurt me. That's what he wants you to do isn't it? Weaken me by killing my friends? Make me feel like I'm guilty for their deaths?” He paused. He knew the longer he talked to her the easier it would be to save Ginny. “Well it's business isn't it? I need to do what I need to do and you have your own agenda.”

“That's very perceptive for a child the last word was spoken as an insult.

“Your lot has made sure I never had a childhood. Now let her go. She's not even a challenge for you,” he drawled.

“Not particularly. But I know that watching her die would hurt you, despite your feeble attempts to convince me otherwise,” she mocked.

Bellatrix started moving toward Ron and her fallen partner. She placed Ginny in front of her as a shield. Harry kept his wand trained on Bellatrix, but his target was significantly smaller now that Ginny had become an obstruction.

“Harry,” rasped Ginny. “No matter what happens I love you. It's not your fault. Kill her,” she pleaded.

Harry raised his wand. He took the time to mentally separate himself from the situation. He aimed his wand at Bellatrix's hand. He thought the incantation, “Sectumsempra. He watched as Bellatrix dodged the spell by throwing Ginny in front of it. The spell caught her across the throat and Harry saw the rush of crimson. He could see her gaping for air and the shock in her eyes as pain invaded her body. There was a minimal pang of regret before he steeled himself against any emotions.

He fired an entrail-expelling curse at Bellatrix while part of her was exposed. At the last second, she threw Ginny in front of her. Harry watched in silent horror as Ginny's entrails burst forth from her body and lay before her. The moon bathed them in silver light and gleamed like chains anchoring her to the ground. Harry swallowed back the bile rising in his throat. What was worse was Ginny was still conscious. He saw her hand fall to the gaping wound of her abdomen and the shock cross her face.

Bellatrix's voice sounded in his head, ”You have to mean them.” The sentiment repeated over and over again. He had to mean it and so he would.

There was silence. Harry rounded on her again. Bellatrix was moving as though she wasn't certain what her next move should be. It was obvious to Harry that his new attitude had obviously confused her. Bellatrix quickly moved to the side of her partner who was stirring. Ginny was being pulled along with her, the leaden weight of her entrails trailing behind her like the train of a gown. Ron was still struggling to free himself from the tight grasp. He managed to wiggle free. Bellatrix saw this and thrust Ginny toward Harry while she took Ron into her clutches.

Harry caught Ginny and felt the warmth of her blood seeping through his robes. She was still breathing. She was pale and her breath was shallow, but she was still alive. Harry only looked up from Ginny when he saw Bellatrix crouch down. She raised her wand in his direction and a green light shot from it. He knew it was the Killing Curse. He tried to duck out of the way, but Ginny caught the curse in the chest. Harry stumbled to the ground his limbs wrapping up in Ginny's in a grotesque parody of a passionate embrace. When Harry finally untangled himself from Ginny and got to his feet, Bellatrix, her partner, and Ron were all gone.

Harry didn't waste time on tears. He went to Hermione and unpetrified her. Hermione had a look of terror on her face. “I could have helped,” she murmured as she fell into Harry's embrace. Harry clung to her as the weight of the situation settled on his shoulders.

“Come on, Hermione. Let's go get Ginny so we can find Ron.”

Harry and Hermione collected Ginny's corpse and carried it back to Godric's Hollow. Harry carried Ginny over the threshold and laid her in her bed. He drew the covers over her and left her alone in the cold embrace of death. They were up all night scrying for Ron. He was nowhere to be found.

***

Ron wasn't sure where he was but his head felt like a hippogriff had tap danced on it after squishing it with a sledgehammer. He blinked his eyes open and was assaulted by a blinding white light. He noticed that the ground beneath him was cold, hard, flagstone. He tasted the tinge of blood in his mouth and then a barrage of memories attacked him. The events of Ginny's death flooded his mind and he screamed. His screams were rewarded with mocking laughter. He turned toward the sound and made out the forms of two Death Eaters.

“Look here, Severus, the boy's awake,” cackled Bellatrix.

“So it appears,” replied Snape.

Ron jumped to his feat and instinctively reached for his wand. He wasn't surprised to find it wasn't there, but his determination to fight did not wane. They would do what they would to him, but he would not give in.

***

Harry and Hermione went through the motions of daily living. They ate, and showered, and still managed to breathe through all the pain. Harry and Hermione were on their way to the Burrow to bury Ginny.

Hermione's face was puffy with tears. Harry hadn't cried. He wouldn't cry. He was saving every ounce of hatred for the moment it would really count. Harry reached out and put a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder.

Hermione turned to him. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. She swallowed back her tears before she spoke. “We'll find him, right, Harry?”

He gave her an imperceptible nod and pulled her into his chest. “I'm sorry, Hermione.”

“Harry, it's not your fault,” she said sternly. “Now we'd better Apparate or Mrs. Weasley will send reinforcements.”

“I don't want to take any chances. Hold my hand and we'll do side along Apparation,” he said holding out his hand.

Harry felt Hermione's hand grip his arm tightly. He wrapped his arm around her waist to make their impending landing easier.

***

Ron was tied to a chair in the center of his cell. Bellatrix had come in to welcome him to her humble hole in the ground.

Things started easy. A minor slicing charm on his cheeks, furunculous, and starvation were her warm up act. She wanted to know where Potter was.

“I told you, I'm not the Secret Keeper. I can't tell you where he is. And even if I could, I wouldn't tell you,” he spat.

“I think you're lying,” she said matter-of-factly. “Your dear Professor has whipped up a nice batch of Veritaserum. I don't want any mistakes so,” she paused brandishing a rather large vial of the clear liquid, “open wide.”

Ron clamped his mouth shut. Bellatrix cast Imperius. He opened his mouth and swallowed the contents of the vial.

“Where is Harry Potter?” she asked.

“I don't know,” he answered. His voice was trance-like.

“Bellatrix, it's enough. He can't lie when he's under the influence of the serum,” Snape explained, his tone was bored. “The boy is of no use to us. The Dark Lord has told you to let him go. The time to use Potter's friends as bait has passed.”

“He knows something, Severus,” she protested. “ Who brewed this potion?”

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. “Who do you think? Does the Dark Lord have another Potions master in his employ?” he asked wryly.

“You've tainted the potion,” she accused.

“I did no such thing,” he said evenly. “No fool would have made any one of those three Secret Keeper. I tried to explain that to you when you went on your adventure. But you and Rodolphus didn't want to hear it. You aren't going to be able to save face now. Admit your mistakes and he will forgive you. After all, as you remind me every day, you are his most loyal servant,” Snape retorted sardonically.

Snape's attitude only proved to incense Bellatrix. She turned he wand on Ron and cast the Cruciatus on him. Ron's screams filled the air. Tears streamed from his eyes. His bladder emptied itself and urine pooled beneath his chair. Bellatrix lifted the curse.

“Tell me where he is,” she demanded.

“Fuck off,” Ron retorted.

Bellatrix pointed her wand at him and he flinched. She laughed at his fear.

“Bellatrix stop this now. The Dark Lord has said he wants the boy unharmed,” protested Severus.

Bellatrix turned her wand on Severus. “Would you like a taste of this,” she asked stabbing her wand at the air.

“Don't point your wand at me, Bellatrix,” he said authoritatively.

She cocked an eyebrow and Stupefy on Snape. He fell to the floor with a thud and she turned back to Ron.

Bellatrix continued to use the Cruciatus on him until he passed out from the continuous applications. When she couldn't rouse him anymore, she left him tied to the chair. There would be plenty of time for it tomorrow.

***

Harry and Hermione were searching for Ron. Immediately after Ginny was buried the mourning ended. Harry and Hermione stationed themselves at Hogwarts. They needed to be near members of the Order and Harry refused to go to Grimmauld Place.

Hermione was holed up in the Library searching for better location spells. Harry was right there next to her helping as much as he could. He was pouring over maps at the moment. He was getting nowhere. He shoved the map off of the table. “If we had a man on the inside we would know where the fuck he was,” he yelled.

Hermione closed her book gently. “Harry, the fact of the matter is we don't know if we have someone on the inside or not. We'll just have to do the best we can. And hope. It's obvious from our search that we aren't going to find Ron this way. We can't go out looking for him since we have no clue where to start. We're going to have to keep working on finding that horcrux and work on how we're going to get Voldemort to meet you on your terms.”

“How can you of all people say that? The love of your life is out there and you're just giving up?”

“Damn it, Harry!” she exclaimed. “Yes I love him. I can't find him now. But I can help you. Don't throw it in my face that I'm a horrible girlfriend.”

“This whole mess is my fault. If I hadn't sent her away that night then she and Ron wouldn't have left,” he said unconsciously balling his hands into fists.

“Get over yourself, Harry. You don't have enough power to do any of that. We'll find Ron. I know we will. It' just going to take time.”

There was a long pregnant pause. “I hate it when you're right,” Harry whined as he got up to pick up the maps he had thrown onto the floor in his moment of frustration.

“When have I been wrong?” asked Hermione. She smiled for the first time in three days.

The sight of that made Harry crack a smile.

***

Bellatrix smiled at her handiwork. She had managed to torture the poor sod until the only thing he could do voluntarily was die. Cruciatus was a wonderful spell. It was her favorite. He was more than likely mad, she surmised. He couldn't tell her anything now. She had her doubts that he even knew he was a boy and not a flobberworm.

She left him there. He would die eventually.

***

Severus made his way down into the bowels of the building to retrieve the Weasley boy. He smirked at the knowledge that the Dark Lord would punish Bellatrix for her stupidity. She had been warned not to harm them. Little did she know it was because the Dark Lord realized that the pent up anger Potter had would translate in the ability to fight better.

When Severus clicked open the door he did not expect to find a broken boy waiting for him. He honestly expected the Gryffindor to be able to fight longer. He made his way to Weasley and cast a cleansing charm before he undid the bindings on his wrists and legs. Severus tried to get the boy to stand, but he was unable to. He scooped the boy up in his arms and made his way to an Apparation point. Bellatrix would tell the Dark Lord she left the boy for dead and he wouldn't argue.

***

Harry and Hermione were clearing their minds by taking a much-needed break. They had opted for a stroll around the lake before they went down to Hagrid's hut to feed Fang. Hagrid was on a reconnaissance mission and the boarhound was an inconsolable wreck.

Harry and Hermione were silent for most of the walk. Each one attempting to clear their heads and forget their remarkable lack of progress in any area of late.

Harry broke the silence. “You've got an ink stain on your trainers,” he said casually.

Hermione looked down at her once white trainers. The left one had a brilliant blue ink stain on the tongue. “Bollocks! These were brand new. Mum just owled them less than a week ago.”

Harry took out his wand and vanished the stain. Hermione gave him a sheepish grin. “Sometimes I still forget.”

“Lucky for you, I don't,” he said stopping and sitting down under a tree near the edge of the lake. His tone was heavy and contemplative. “Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed.”

“Me too,” she answered honestly. “There is a whole other life out there that could have been mine.”

“I don't want to die, Hermione,” he said, abruptly changing the subject.

“You won't die,” she said simply. “It's morbid to think of it.” It was her way of brushing him off but he didn't let her.

“Hermione, Ginny's already dead. And Dumbledore and …”

“Don't you say his name in that sentence Harry,” she warned.

“Hermione it's been ten days. If they were going to let him go for whatever reason he'd have found us by now. He knew the plan,” Harry said defensively.

“I know he's alive, Harry,” she said resolutely.

“What are you a Seer now? Did you suddenly become an expert at reading tea leaves and seeing the future in Crystal balls?” he asked sardonically.

“No,” she said flatly. Her hand reached out and brushed his chest. “I can feel him in my heart, Harry. And I know you can, too.”

“I don't have a heart anymore. Weapons don't need them,” he retorted dryly.

Hermione pulled her hand away and shut her eyes in consternation. “Stop that, Harry. Just stop it. You are not a weapon. You aren't going to die when this whole ordeal is over with and I am sick to death of hearing you say these things.”

“But, they're true,” he replied quietly. His eyes were firmly affixed to the ground. He didn't dare look at her.

Hermione didn't try to hide the fact that she was crying from him. She angrily swiped at the tears on her face and stomped off to finish her calming walk around the lake. Harry stayed seated on the ground and tried for the billionth time to reach Ron using his nearly non-existent Legilimency powers. It was useless. Ron was lost and he and Hermione needed to accept it.

***

Hermione forced herself to take deep breaths as she banished tears from her face with the back of her hand. It was hard for her to see Harry so cold and emotionless. She understood why he needed to do it, but it didn't make it any easier for her. She couldn't even get him to argue with her. It was what she needed most - a good argument- and she couldn't even get a rise out of him. It was very frustrating for her.

Hermione turned and looked at him. Harry's head was resting in his hands and he was very still. She wanted to reach out and hug him, but she knew he'd only brush her away. She reflected on the night of Ginny's death and Ron's disappearance and realized that the boy who sat by the lake cradling his head in his hands wasn't her Harry. She couldn't wait until Voldemort was dead so she could have her Harry back.

Hermione turned away from him and continued on her walk. She wouldn't attempt talking to Harry again until she was calm. Hermione walked toward the forest. As she got closer, Hermione noticed a familiar figure in black robes carrying a bundle and setting it down at the base of the forest.

“Snape!” she thought.

Hermione didn't want to scare him off by screaming for Harry. She quickly cast a disillusionment charm on herself and inched her way toward the figure and his bundle. Hermione bit back a gasp as she saw flame red hair peek out from it's covering as Snape laid the bundle down on the ground. She saw him affix a note to the coverings before he retreated into the forest.

Hermione wasted no time as she ran towards the bundle. She knew Ron was inside, she just didn't know if he was alive or not. Hermione looked over her shoulder. Harry was too far away to yell for without brining attention upon them.

Hermione reached the bundle and reached out to touch it. She pulled her hand away. “What if this is a portkey?” she thought to herself. Her hand hovered over the bundle for a moment. It was burning to touch the red hair that was tempting her. But she managed to restrain herself. She ran as quickly as she could to Harry.

***

Harry snapped his head up when he heard panicked yells coming from Hermione.

“Harry! By the forest … Ron … could still be alive … afraid … portkey…” were the only words he could make out. Hermione was winded and clutching at a stitch in her side.

Harry pulled himself to his feet and reached for his wand. He took note that Hermione already had her wand out and motioned with he head for her to lead the way.

Harry stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Ron's hair sticking out from under its' cover. Harry ran as fast as he could and didn't stop until Hermione yelled for him.

“We can't touch him. We don't know if he's got a portkey on him somewhere,” she said.

“He'd be gone by now, wouldn't he?” asked Harry. He was impatient to see if Ron was alive.

“We need to go get Lupin or Tonks,” Hermione said, leaving no room for discussion.

Harry didn't respond to her. Instead he fixed his gaze on the bundle. He was desperate for any signs of movement to know if Ron was breathing. Harry stared and stared but he didn't notice the tell tale motion of breathing from underneath the cloak. His heart sank into the pit of his stomach. “I … I don't think he's breathing, Hermione,” whispered Harry.

“His breathing might be too shallow for us to tell. Come on, let's go get help,” she insisted.

“We can't leave him,” protested Harry. He stepped away from Hermione and Ron and conjured his patronus. He sent it to the castle to find someone who could help them.

Harry and Hermione stared at Ron for what seemed like an eternity. They didn't even look up when they heard approaching footsteps or orders to stand aside coming from Lupin. Lupin was forced to walk around the pair. He waved his wand over the bundle and then stooped down to pick it up.

“He's not a portkey,” he said simply. “I'm taking him to the Hospital Wing. He's still alive, but only just,” the melancholy tone of his voice was not lost on Harry.

Harry nodded. He looked up and saw a piece of parchment fall from Ron's wrap. He watched as Remus made his way back to the castle and picked up the parchment when he was sure no one was looking. He pocketed it and grabbed Hermione's hand to lead her to their vigil in the Hospital Wing.

***

Harry and Hermione were forced to sit in the hallway and wait. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't allow them to disrupt her work. Neither Harry nor Hermione spoke, but they didn't need words to know what the other was thinking. Each one praying to whatever gods would listen to please let Ron be alive. That's all they asked for was for Ron to be alive.

Harry dug in his pockets for the parchment he had found. He wasn't able to read it. It was written in Ancient Runes.

“Hermione, can you read this?” he asked passing her the parchment.

Hermione took the parchment from him and scanned it. “Where did you get this Harry?”

“I found it near Ron,” he replied simply.

“It's not anything I've studied before, but I have seen it. As soon as we find out about Ron, I'll go to the Library.”

“Do you love him, Hermione,” Harry asked out of the blue.

Hermione surprised herself when she hesitated. She opened her mouth but a strangled gasp came out. She cleared her throat. ”Of course I love him,” she answered indignantly.

He nodded and turned away from her. He was saved from having to say anything by the squeak of the doors separating them from Ron. It was Lupin. He looked grave.

Harry felt his mouth go dry. He didn't think he could ask the question if he wanted to. He averted his gaze from Lupin. Maybe if he didn't look him in the eye, then the news wouldn't be so awful.

Hermione broke the silence, “Professor, is he …?” she asked. Harry could hear her voice waver.

“No, Hermione he's not dead.”

Harry and Hermione uttered a sigh of relief.

Harry caught Lupin's gaze and before Lupin could say anything else, “It's worse isn't it?” It was more a statement than a question.

“I'm afraid so.”

Harry trained his eyes on Hermione and expected her to cry or scream or do something. She just clutched the parchment in her hands, turned on her heel, and made her way to the library.

***

Harry had followed Lupin to Ron's bedside. It took all his will power not to bolt out of the Hospital Wing at the sight of Ron.

At the moment Madame Pomfrey was bustling around him. Harry could see the scabbed over cuts that would leave scars across his best friend's face. He could see bruises on all of Ron's exposed flesh. There were dark circles under Ron's eyes. And his once brilliant blue eyes were dull and glazed over.

Harry had to tear his eyes away. He heard Madam Pomfrey utter a restraining charm over Ron. He turned to Lupin who was standing behind him with a supportive hand squeezing his shoulder. “He looks like Neville's parents … only worse,” Harry observed.

“He was subjected to numerous rounds of Cruciatus. And it seems he was overdosed on Veritaserum as well. However, that can be fixed. We can't reverse the brain damage. He doesn't know where he is let alone who anyone else is. I'm sorry, Harry.”

Harry shut his eyes. He fought all of his emotions as they bubbled up with in him. He was angry with Ron for running away in the first place. He was angry at Ginny for being stubborn and self absorbed and he was mad at himself forever making friends in the first place. “Goddamn it, Remus! This is not the way it was supposed to fucking happen,” he yelled. He closed his fists into tight balls and began to pace the length of Ron's cot. He was taking deep breaths in an effort to calm himself, like Hermione had taught him. He stopped and kicked an empty bedpan that was lying on the ground. It flew across the hospital room with a metallic clang, then he resumed pacing.

“Harry, I really don't think having a temper tantrum is going to do anything to help anyone,” Lupin said calmly.

Harry closed his eyes and cleared his mind. He had to keep it all inside and keep it for the right moment. He concentrated on taking deep breaths and focusing on nothingness. His attempts were interrupted by the banging of the hospital door and the chastisement from Madam Pomfrey that was inevitable, “Miss Granger you of all people should know better.”

“Sorry Madam Pomfrey, but Harry I've found a way to bring him back!” she said happily.

“Hermione you haven't even seen him,” Harry said gently. “He's like the Longbottoms. He hasn't a clue about anything. I doubt he even knows he's alive.”

“I know this already. That note you gave me led me to a spell and we can save him, Harry.”

“Note?” asked Lupin. “What note? I don't want you two trying anything that came back to the castle with Ron it could be a trap.”

“Professor what other choice have we got?” asked Hermione.

“Let me look into it first,” he said by way of compromise.

“There's no time, every second he stays like this our chances for saving him diminish. And you know I'm right, Professor. Now I've looked in the Library and I've found the spell. The spell was in runes so I had to translate it. It doesn't have a name. But Harry and I have to get into Ron's mind to unlock his memories. It seems like basic Legilimency.”

“Do you have any idea how much skill that particular ritual takes?” he asked.

“Of course I do, Professor. Together Harry and I can do it as long as we can draw on Ron's power.”

“You don't know that he has any left.” Lupin said.

“It's his only chance. We need him to fight with us or at least put up a fight before we let him go, Professor. I don't know about Harry, but I'm doing this,” Hermione said as she crossed her arms over he chest. The look in her eyes was one of absolute determination. Harry noticed it was the same look she got in her eyes when S.P.E.W. had become her cause of choice.

“If Hermione thinks it's a good idea then I'm helping her,” said Harry.

Lupin's eyes grew wide with anger. He opened his mouth to protest, but Harry stopped him. “Your weapon will still be available to you. We'll be fine,” he snapped. He turned to Hermione, “Let's get this stared.”

***

Harry and Hermione sat in the Room of Requirement. They were preparing for the first of several dry runs of the mind reading portion of the spell. Hermione had nearly twenty books lying open in a semi circle. The room had provided soft cushions on the ground, Harry assumed it was for lounging, so he made himself comfortable while Hermione searched in one of her books for something he wasn't quite sure of.

He couldn't help but notice the delicate curve of Hermione's waist as she reached over to pull a book closer to her. He snapped his head away. “Just what in bloody hell do you think you're doing?” he asked himself. “That is your best mate's girlfriend!”

“… that one right in front of you Harry?” asked Hermione. Her voice effectively returned him to the task at hand.

“Sorry, I was drifting. Which book?”

“That one with the red ribbon for a page marker,” she said not bothering to look up from the book she was currently flipping trough.

Harry picked up the book and moved it closer to her. He took note of the way loose tendrils of hair from the loose bun at the back of her head framed her face. He watched as she idly twisted a strand of hair around her fingers while she furrowed her brow in concentration. He shifted his position as he felt his pants grow a bit snug. He cleared his throat to get her attention.

She looked up from the book, but kept twining her hair around her fingers. “Did you find something useful, Harry?” she asked hopefully.

“Are you sure we can do this, Hermione?” asked Harry. “I mean neither one of us is a Legilmens.”

With that question, Hermione finally stopped twirling her hair. Her hand fell with a dull smack onto the book that was resting in her lap.

“We don't have to be perfect. I know you can do a little and I've been studying up on it and I've managed to get a few things here and there,” she said in her know-it-all tone.

“What's the worst that could happen?” he asked nervously. “As much as I hate to admit it, Lupin does have a point.”

“We could end up like Ron or die. We could all die if we don't do this right. That is why we are attempting this with each other before we try any of this with Ron.”

“What are the odds Hermione?” Suddenly, Harry found himself trying to dissuade Hermione from the attempt. He wasn't quite sure why, but he wasn't sure he wanted any part of the process.

“Fifty/Fifty,” she answered flatly. “It's not great, but it's an even chance.”

“Are you sure you want to?”

“Yes, Harry, I'm sure. There isn't anything in your head that I don't already know. And I don't have any secrets from you. Don't worry.”

“You're right,” he admitted. “Where do we start?”

Hermione closed the book in her lap and set it off to the side before she started her explanations.

“First you try to get in my mind then I'll try to get into yours,” she said reclining.

Harry reached to the side and took his wand up in his hands. He pointed his wand at his own head and uttered, “Legilmens”. He looked into Hermione's eyes and focused on reading her thoughts.

It was easy to break through her weak defenses. She had many images floating at the surface of her minds. He saw himself adjusting his position on the cushions in the Room of Requirement. He saw Ginny pushed to him bleeding profusely. He watched himself walk away from Hermione as he went toward Ron and Ginny in the clearing. Harry broke the connection and ran to the rubbish bin that materialized in the corner and vomited.

***

Go directly to Part II

-->

2. Part 2 of 2

Author/Artist: sapphiretragedy (on LJ) , diggingupophelia (on PK)

Title: Secrets and Lies

Prompt: Ron was tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange the summer after sixth year. Harry and Hermione use a dangerous spell to save him. It opens their minds to each other and long buried feelings are exposed.

Summary (for fics) Medium (for art): See above.

Warning (if applicable): Spoilers for HBP. Dark Fic.

Other ships (if applicable): H/G and R/Hr in the beginning. But I promise nothing over the top.

Rating: Mature. Language and Violence.

Notes (optional): This was a great way for me to come back to H/Hr. I had wandered for a while. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it. Comments and Concrit are welcomed. Flames are not welcomed.

*Originally posted to the LJ community hhr_serendipity for the 2005 H/Hr FQF

Part 2/2

***

Hermione felt him pull out of her mind abruptly. She gagged when she heard him wretch in the corner, but went to him anyway. She concentrated until the room provided a water basin, a cloth, and cup of water. As Harry emptied the contents of his stomach she rubbed his back gently.

“I tried to block those memories, Harry. I'm sorry,” she said as she pressed the cool cloth to the back of his neck. “I guess that you and I are on equal footing as far as Occlumency goes,” she joked as she helped Harry into a sitting position.

“Thanks,” he said as he took the cup of water from her to rinse his mouth.

“You better thank me, you know how strong my stomach is,” she said taking the rag from his neck and putting it back in the basin. “Maybe that's enough for right now.”

“I just need a minute,” he said as he ran his hand through his already messy hair. “I just didn't expect that to happen. I thought …” his voice drifted.

“It's finally had a chance to sink in is all, Harry,” she said softly.

He nodded. Hermione reached over and clasped his hand in her own. She noticed how rough his hands were from calluses. No doubt those were caused by the number of sessions he spent practicing defensive spells. Harry moved to tug his hand away, but Hermione latched on to it. She convinced herself it was a reflex and let go.

“Sorry,” she said embarrassed.

“About what?” he asked, puzzled.

“N..nothing,” she said quickly. “You still look peaky. Maybe we should eat first and then try again.”

“Ug. Don't mention food,” protested Harry. “Let's try now and then we'll take a break. If it's one thing I learned from those lessons with Snape it was that these things are best taken in moderation.”

“Right then,” she said as she moved back to the cushioned area and laid back. “I'm ready when you are.”

Hermione watched Harry walk over to the cushioned area. She noticed that he really wasn't skinny anymore. He could probably be considered lithe, she thought. He was more sure of himself, that was certain, and it definitely showed in the way he walked. Hermione quickly banished those thoughts and set to the task before her. She was supposed to be reading his mind.

Hermione pulled her wand from the pocket in the side of her jeans and pointed it at her head. “Legilmens,” she whispered. She looked into Harry's eyes. She focused her energies on reading his thoughts but broke the connection after a moment.

“Harry, you need to let your defenses down,” she said, irritated.

“Sorry, it's force of habit now,” he said relaxing so he could open his mind to Hermione. “Ok, let's try again. This time I won't try to keep you out,” he joked as he laid back.

Hermione watched him lay there. She focused on the rise and swell of his chest as he controlled his breathing and presumably prepared his brain to be invaded.

“Harry, I can't see into your eyes when you're laying like that,” she complained. “Could you sit up, at least a little?”

“Right, sorry,” he said adjusting himself so that he propped himself with his hands behind him and his legs sticking straight out. “This better?”

“Much,” she said as she pointed her wand to her head. “Legilmens,” she said in her normal speaking voice. She focused on Harry's eyes. Soon she found her brain flooded with images, most of which, she was familiar with. She saw herself seated in front of him, wand pointed to her head. She saw herself flipping through the pages of a book in the library while chewing on her lip. Her lips curled into a smile at seeing that. She wasn't aware she did that when she was focused. She saw Harry standing with his parents behind him. She surmised this was Harry standing before the Mirror of Erised. She saw Harry standing before the mirror again. This time there was a woman standing beside him. She tried to focus on who the woman was before Harry broke the connection.

“Harry! Why did you do that?” she asked, a bit perturbed.

“I was getting a headache,” he said with his eyes focused on the ground.

“Right. Well at least we know we can do it. I guess now we'll just need to practice to see how long we can sustain the connection. The book says we'll need at least an hour.”

“An hour?” asked Harry. Hermione would say he sounded worried if she didn't know better.

“At the very least. It could take us longer,” she explained. Her tone sounded a bit grim, and she knew it. As much as she was loath to admit it the odds weren't that great and she was a bit afraid.

“We've got some work to do then. How about we grab some dinner and Pepper-Up and get back to work?” he said, standing up.

“Yeah, I do feel a bit drained,” she said holding out her hands indicating she wanted help up.

Harry grabbed Hermione's arms and pulled her up to her feet. “Gods, what have you been eating, you're getting heavy,” he teased.

“Ha, ha, Harry. That was very original,” she said playfully hitting him on the shoulder. Hermione couldn't help but smile. For that moment it was just her and Harry and nothing else. There was no looming danger and no impending doom. She caught herself staring at his lips and felt the urge to capture them in her own lips. She thought for a moment she had caught Harry's gaze, but when she looked again he wasn't looking at her. “Ready to eat then? I'm sure that there are people out there who are dying to catch up with you,” she said as she moved away from Harry and closer to the door.

“Yeah,” he said distractedly.

***

Dinner turned out to be less about catching up with Harry and more about dissuading Harry and Hermione from attempting to free Ron from his condition. Lupin had started in as soon as the pair arrived in the Great Hall. While Harry and Hermione had been off preparing to perform the spell, Lupin had been exposing the `secret' operations of the Dynamic Duo.

“So, Harry,” began Lupin, “any luck with the mind reading? Are you feeling all right?”

Lupin watched Harry fidget in his seat a bit as he shifted food around on his plate. Something was amiss, that was certain. However, Lupin seriously doubted it had anything to do with recent events. He recognized that look. Of course he hadn't seen this particular look on Harry's face, but he still knew what was gnawing at him.

“I'm fine,” Harry replied shortly as he reached for his goblet of Pumpkin juice.

“Good, then I feel absolutely no guilt what-so-ever in saying to you that I think you plan is complete rubbish,” Lupin said, with an edge of anger in his voice.

“Professor I don't really think you are in any position to tell me what to do,” Harry replied coolly keeping his focus on his plate.

“Harry, don't be so rude,” chastised Hermione as she picked up a roll from the center of the table.

“Then he should mind his own bloody business,” he retorted crossly.

“Harry, Dumbledore wouldn't want you doing such a thing, It's too risky,” added Professor McGonagall.

“With all due respect, Professor McGonagall, Dumbledore isn't here to tell me what to do. He was murdered if you recall.”

“Harry James Potter, I will not allow you to take that tone with me,” snapped Professor McGonagall. “There are things you've yet to understand in this world boy. Open your eyes and look around at what you have. You are still fortunate.”

“Fortunate? You call my life fortunate? I was orphaned before I could even have memories of my parents, left on the doorstep of relatives who didn't care about me, I've had five previous encounters with the man who is trying to kill me, Voldemort has managed in some way or another to systematically kill the people I value most in my life and you call me lucky?” he shouted from where he sat.

Those seated at the table looked at him wide-eyed. This was the break they had all been expecting, thought Lupin. The boy had too much responsibility to shoulder. In all their efforts to help him and protect him, they had forgotten just how much he had already lost and how jaded the world had made him.

“Harry, sit down,” Lupin said, authoritatively. Lupin was surprised when Harry actually sat down. He watched Harry stare into nothingness as his fists clenched over the fabric of his robes.

“I'm sorry,” Harry said quietly as a tinge of red crept over his face. “I just have a lot on my mind right now and I …”

“Harry everyone understands,” said Hermione reassuringly.

“How can anyone else understand when I don't even understand,” he said morosely.

Lupin looked at Harry with a heavy heart. He wanted nothing more than to tell him everything would be fine and that it would all work out in the end. “Harry we're all here for you. You can go to any of us. Really. It's just that we think it's in the best interest of the cause if you and Hermione just let Ron … go,” he said softly. He looked away from Harry when he said the last words. He couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes.

“The cause?” asked Harry his tone full of disbelief. “I'm going to give everyone I ever loved or cared about to the cause. Why don't you all take a number then? At least I'll know who goes when and can spend my time accordingly. Damn it. This is my choice. Hermione and I are going to save Ron. We'll be fine. We always get through these things together.”

Lupin cleared his throat. He watched Harry shift in his seat. He saw Hermione place a hand on his shoulder before pulling him into a hug. Lupin noticed that Harry both leaned into the hug and closed his eyes while he … smelled Hermione's hair? Suddenly, Lupin changed his mind about what needed to be done.

“Harry, you and Hermione need to go and get ready to cast the spell. Time is of the essence. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask.”

Harry and Hermione cast each other a furtive glance before hastily making their way to the Hospital Wing to check on Ron and get Pepper-up before heading back to the Room of Requirement.

“Remus Lupin, what did you just do? I thought the goal of the conversation was to dissuade them from hurting themselves!” hissed Professor McGonagall.

“Minerva, did you see what happened? Notice anything odd during the conversation between Harry and Hermione?”

“No … I … Remus? Are you certain? I mean, Ron and Hermione they're …”

“Whatever they are now won't be for long. I know that look. James had that look when he was mad for Lily and she was mad for Se…” Lupin caught himself before he finished that sentence. There was no need to drudge up all the horrors of the past.

“I'll hold off on screaming at you until something goes wrong,” she said stiffly.

“And if nothing goes wrong?”

“Then you get to keep your ear drums,” she said brightly. “Now, I have a date with a portrait.”

***

Hermione wandered to Ron's bedside while Harry took his dose of Pepper-up from Madam Pomfrey. It was his job to charm a few more vials from her so they could theoretically practice all night.

Ron looked a tad better than he had when he was brought in and he didn't smell has horrendous. The gashes on his face were healed, but scars were left in their stead.

“At least you don't have so many freckles now,” she whispered to him as she brushed his cheek with her finger. She pulled her finger away as though she had been electrified. He was so cold. She looked at him more closely and realized his breathing was still shallow. She bit back her tears and kissed Ron on the forehead.

Hermione sat on the edge of the bed. He could hear Harry arguing with Madam Pomfrey. She rolled her eyes, you'd think he was asking her for heroin the way she was carrying on. Hermione stared at Ron. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. His hand was limp and he was unresponsive.

Hermione was confused. She thought that if something happened to Ron she would be more upset. She should have by rights been hysterical. Sure, she was level headed most of the time, but this was the man she had pledged her love to. She should be more upset or unsettled or feel anything but indifference.

`Hermione, you're just in shock. That's all. When this hits you you'll be upset. Just look at what happened to Harry today,' she reasoned. `He didn't even cry at her funeral and today he just exploded.'

She felt a hand rest on her shoulder. “We'll save him, Hermione.”

“Of course we will, Harry. We always stick together,” she said as she quickly swiped any stray tears from her face. She hoped she didn't look like she had been crying as she got to her feet. “Come on, Harry, we've got a lot of work ahead of us.”

“Tell me, did you happen to draw up a schedule? I find them very useful,” he said in an effort to lighten the mood.

“Harry, please don't make me hex you,” she said with a smile.

“That's what I like to see, that smile. I haven't seen it enough since last year,” his tone was nostalgic.

“Since when do you pay attention to how much I smile,” she asked narrowing her gaze in suspicion.

Harry hesitated before he answered. “How could you be someone's friend for as long as we've been friends and not notice those things?”

“Point taken,” she said as she led the way to the Room of Requirement.

***

“We need chocolate,” said Harry knowingly as he fell back on to the fluffy pillows that appeared just as he had need for them.

“No, we need to get this right,” said Hermione throwing a book down in frustration. “All I keep seeing in your head are memories of us. We need memories of the two of us with Ron. Neither of us seems to be getting what we need for the length of time we need it. We're supposed to be feeding him memories of himself so he snaps out of this … thing.”

Harry didn't interrupt her as she vented. He knew she needed it. When he felt she was done, he walked over to her on his knees to offer her chocolate. “A peace offering?”

Hermione snatched the chocolate from his hand. “This never works for me,” she before she devoured the square of chocolate.

“That is not true. I seem to recall chocolate is a good ally of mine during certain … how shall I put this delicately … situations,” he finished with a slight blush.

“Honestly, I'm not that bad,” she argued.

Harry quirked his eyebrow at her. “Would you like to see how bad you are?”

“Why not?” she said rolling her head to try to make the stiffness in her neck disappear.

“Are you sure now? Because once you see this, you might regret how awful you were to me and Ron.”

“You can't blame me for those situations. I have no control over what happens.”

“You just wait until you see for yourself,” he teased.

Harry sat Indian-style in front of Hermione, who mimicked his seating arrangement. She put her wand to her head and said the incantation.

+++

“Hermione, can I borrow your History of Magic notes?” asked Harry.

“Oh, so that's all I'm good for? My notes. Fine, here you are then,” she said tossing a large bound sheaf of parchment at him.

“Why are you so angry,” he asked nicely as he sat down in the seat across from her.

“I didn't mean to snap. I'm just … under a lot of pressure,” she said.

“I see. I'll be right back,” Harry replied as he scurried off to his dormitory to retrieve something.

Hermione could sense an emotion she couldn't quite place but was certain she was familiar with as she saw Harry get closer and closer to the door marked: Fifth Years

”I know I put it here someplace,” Harry said to himself as he rummaged in his trunk. Before long he pulled out a small bar of Honeydukes finest and went back to Hermione.

As he approached her, he could hear Hermione chastising someone. He assumed it was Ron without even looking. Then came the insult that made him certain it was Ron. “Honestly, Ronald, the only function your brain serves is to keep your head from caving in! For the last time, you cannot copy my Astronomy chart.”

“Fine. Next time you need help with your homework …” started Ron.

“I'll ask one of the fence posts at the edge of the forest,” she replied dryly as she dipped her quill in a pot of ink.

Ron pushed past Harry looking glum. “I wouldn't go near her if I were you mate. Bloody women,” he cursed under his breath as he disappeared into the staircase.

Harry went and sat next to Hermione anyway. He watched her scratching away at her essay for a few moments before he cleared his throat to get her attention. “For the lady,” he said sincerely.

“You always know just what I need, Harry,” she said happily as she took the chocolate from his outstretched hand. “Thanks.”

“It's what friends are for,” he said shrugging. “Do you mind if I do my work here?” He paused. “I … uh … heard how you sent Ron away and I don't want to interfere.”

“You'll never interfere, Harry. You know not to ask to copy my assignments,” she said handing him a few blank sheets of parchment, a spare quill, and pushing her inkpot to the center of the table.

+++

Hermione gently pulled out of Harry's mind.

“That was interesting,” she said as she got up to stretch.

“Not for me. I had to relieve an awful experience,” he teased.

“Awful? I think Ron was the one getting the brunt of the awful,” she retorted.

“Well, he deserved it. I was nice and I fed you chocolate.”

“That you did. But it's odd how you just knew,” she said pensively.

He shrugged. “Just doing my job.”

Hermione gave him an odd look.

“What?” he asked.

“Something just occurred to me, but … never mind.”

“Oh no, you're going to tell me. I just gave you chocolate!”

“No, Harry, the room gave me chocolate,” she said cheekily. “Well … I … I guess there is no delicate way to put this so I'm just going to come out and ask it. But you have to promise that you won't brood over it or get upset or hide from me or any of those things you do to protect people.”

“I promise,” he said crossing his heart. “But for the record, I do not brood. Brooding is reserved for sociopathic megalomaniacs bent on taking over the world.”

“I beg to differ,” she said haughtily.

“Nice try, Granger. I believe you had a question to ask me.”

The smile fell from Hermione's face and she refused to look Harry directly in the eye. She was still looking in his direction but her gaze was fixed somewhere behind him. “Did you really love Ginny? I mean … I know you cared for her, but did you love her enough to really give her what she was looking for when this whole thing was over?”

Harry was quiet for a moment as he thought things over. “Heh, it's funny you should ask me that. I've been thinking the same thing since Bellatrix pushed her into my arms. I think that means, `no'. If I did love her I think I would have fallen to pieces as soon as I got to you.” He noticed Hermione hadn't said a word. “Do you think I'm a bad person?”

“No,” she answered quickly. “It's just, with Ron, I sort of feel the same way. And with all these memories we've been able to access and the ones we haven't been able to access … it .. it's just got me to thinking that maybe we … that is to say you and I might … the book says here that if what is happening to us keeps happening that we have unrealized feeling for each other.”

“Oh,” was all Harry could force out of his mouth. He felt his mouth go dry and his stomach flip over itself. He thought the noise of his heart pounding in his chest would deafen him if it didn't quiet down.

“I'm sorry Harry, I didn't mean to freak you out,” she said sheepishly.

“You didn't. I … I feel horrible for thinking it. And you're right. I do have feelings for you. It's just that Ron told me he cared about you and I didn't want to stand in his way. Plus, I thought you two could use each other since I would probably not make it through.”

“Always the sodding hero. I don't want you to think I don't love Ron, because I do. I just don't love him that way.”

“I understand. It's just … am I imagining things or were you … did you want to kiss me earlier?”

She nodded and blushed.

“Then I wasn't the only one.”

“I think we should finish the spell before we do anything. It's just …”

“Yeah, let's get this done.” He paused. “We'll have plenty of time after …”

And so they began the work of opening their minds to each other so they could open their minds to Ron. All the while each one became more aware of the feelings the other had tucked away for fear of being rejected, or worse of being loved in return.

***

Harry and Hermione had Ron moved into the Room of Requirement when they were ready to start. It had been two days since Ron was found in the forest and hours of grueling work before Harry and Hermione felt they were ready.

“You two are certain you're ready?” asked Lupin. “A few more hours won't hurt.”

“We know Professor,” answered Hermione. “We're just ready and we've decided to do this before we lose our nerve.”

“Would you like me to stay and make sure …”

“You can stay, but you have to keep separate from us,” explained Harry as he propped Ron up on some pillows. “Hermione, he's ready to be sedated,” he called.

“Right,” Hermione took a vial from a pocket in her robes. She gently poured the potion into Ron's mouth. He swallowed it reflexively. “Harry you lie on the left side and I'll go on the right.”

Harry and Hermione reclined on either side of Ron facing him. “Now we won't need to look into his eyes, but we will need to touch him,” Hermione explained as she touched the exposed flesh of Ron's ankle. Harry saw what she did and followed suit.

“Now remember what we've practiced, Harry. The whole point is to feed him memories that define him. Keep thoughts of situations he isn't involved in directly down to a minimum. I know it's hard to weed them all out …”

`Hermione, don't worry. I'm not going to tell him I'm in love with his girlfriend before he has enough wits about him to smash me in the face before we make up.”

“Ha, ha, Harry. That was bloody hilarious. I'm serious. We could end up dribbling just like he is if we aren't careful.”

Harry looked over at Lupin. The banter didn't seem to be calming any of his reservations about the process. “Hermione, I won't let either of you down. Now let's go.”

Harry settled back and focused on the sound of Hermione's voice as she murmured the incantation. The words were rubbish to him, but the sound of her voice gave him the resolve he needed to stay put in his seat.

Suddenly the Room of Requirement faded away and he and Hermione were standing in a poorly lit - foyer, for lack of a better word.

“I've always known he had dead space between his ears,” Hermione joked uneasily.

Harry was about to ask her if this was what supposed to happen when Ron's voice interrupted him. “And here I thought she cared about me, mate,” it teased. Ron was nowhere to be seen, but it was apparent he was aware of the presence of his two best friends.

“Ron?” asked Harry, the uncertainty in his voice was apparent.

“I didn't tell those bastards a single thing,” Ron said proudly. “I tried not to scream, not to give that crazy, sadistic bitch the satisfaction - but there was a point when it decidedly became too much. She's far more mental than we ever thought,” he said trying to lighten up the tone. “Bloody woman even turned her wand on Snape. I'm not fond of him or anything, but that is just crossing a line and breaking about eighty five rules of some such group,” he continued. “She laid him out flat. Good thing she didn't kill him or else …” Ron's voice trailed off at that.

Harry kept casting sideways glances at Hermione. He wasn't sure if Ron could see them, and he didn't want to worry him if he could. He could tell that something was not right with the situation and that Hermione was trying to figure it out.

Hermione cleared her throat to get Harry's attention. He looked at her. She needed no words to tell him that his job was to keep Ron talking. “This wasn't what I …” she began.

“Expected?” finished Ron. “I've heard everything. I just can't do much more than drool in response. As I know you've seen. Would you two mind telling Madam Pomfrey that a bloke likes a bit of privacy when he's …” he stopped suddenly. “What do you two think you're doing?” he yelled. “You can't go risking it all for me!”

“We stick together, Ronald Weasley,” Hermione stated in her no nonsense tone.

“Fine. Now you've gone and got yourselves stuck in my head! I'm sure I don't have to tell you there isn't much around to keep a clever girl like yourself occupied,” he said harshly.

“You listen here, Ron,” started Hermione.

Harry took a deep breath. `Five seconds in the same plane and they're already at it,' he thought as he unconsciously rubbed his temple. “Look, as great as it is that you two are back to your old selves the bickering isn't helping,” Harry said flatly.

“Right,” said Hermione as she collected herself. There was a moment of reflective pause. “Where are you, Ron?” she asked. Harry could tell by the look in her eyes that she had an idea.

+++

The gears in Hermione's head were rapidly turning. In her mind she went over and over the translation of the Runes. Suddenly, her heart sank - she had misinterpreted the translation.

“Damn it!” she exclaimed. “Snape and his damned riddles,” she cursed. Her brain was going into overdrive. She knew she had read something about it somewhere during her perusal of the dusty tomes to translate the runes. Flash after flash of book covers and titles floated into her mind. “It's in the book with the red ribbon book marker,” she mumbled to herself.

“Snape!” she barely registered Harry's hysterical exclamation. “The bastard who …”

Before Hermione could muster an appropriate telling off for Harry's tirade, Ron cut in. “Can it, mate. He saved my life. That psycho left me tied to a chair to die. He carried me back to Hogwarts and left me where he knew you'd find me. He even left instructions on how to get me the hell out of my head.”

Hermione had known Snape had penned the letter. She knew the man liked puzzles and he was aware it was she who had solved his riddle guarding the Philosopher's stone in her first year. She now realized the runes had been written in riddle form and were not to be taken literally.

“Ron, did he say anything to you?” she asked hopefully.

“Mostly that I was heavy and that I should consider going on a diet,” he said thoughtfully.

“Not complaints Ron, but useful information,” she snapped.

There was a moment of contemplation. “He cursed … a lot,” he added.

“Ok. Fine. Ron, Harry and I have to go back. I didn't understand it was a riddle. We didn't know you'd be so lucid. Is there anything you want to know before we go?”

“Ginny? I know she didn't make it, but did you two see to it she was given a proper burial? No one's mentioned her …” his voice trailed off.

“Yeah, mate. We saw to it,” Harry replied with a gravely voice.

“Hermione. I just want to say, in case you don't come back, I'm sorry. I know I royally fucked up in your eyes and I shouldn't have left, but she was my sister. I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I … I love you,” he said quietly.

Hermione felt like she had been punched in the gut. Every one of those accursed words was a fresh blow. It took all of her strength to reply to him. “I know, Ron,” was the only thing she could manage to say. “C'mon, Harry”, she said quickly,” we've got a lot of work ahead of us.”

***

Harry and Hermione were immediately given chocolate upon coming out of their trance.

“Well,” asked Lupin.

“It's not exactly what we thought,” said Harry around the chocolate in his mouth. He swallowed. “He can hear everything that we say. He's not insane, he's trapped in his own head.”

“Madam Pomfrey had thought that may be the case. He wasn't muttering.” He paused. “I'm going to take Ron back to the hospital wing.”

Harry nodded absently. Lupin noticed that something in Harry's demeanor had had changed. “Harry would you mind helping me? I'd like to have a talk with you.”

“Right. Just let me make sure Hermione is alright.”

“I'm fine, Harry,” she said forcing herself to eat the chocolate she had been given. “You go and help Professor Lupin. I have to go and look some things up in the Library. We won't be able to try again until tomorrow anyway.”

Lupin noticed that Harry's eyes followed Hermione as she left the room. He guessed, correctly, that Harry's thoughts stayed focused on the bushy haired witch even after she had vacated the room.

***

Lupin took Harry to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom under the guise of helping him tidy up the room.

After fifteen minutes of dusting sans magic, Harry sunk into the chair behind the professor's desk and sighed. “I really don't' see what the point of this is, Remus. There aren't any students to teach. Who cares if the room is buried under a layer of thick dust?”

“Professor McGonagall cares a great deal. Apparently, the house elves heard something about a curse and Professor Snape and made their own conclusions about the safety of the room.”

“Snape. He's not a professor anymore,” Harry said, his voice was hollow. Then he gave a derisive snort. “Turns out, I was right about him.”

"What's that supposed to mean?"

'He's always going around ruining my life. Always. He treated me bad because my parents died and his Dark Lord killed them. He treated me bad because my father was an arsehole to him. As if it weren't bad enough for me to find out that my father wasn't perfect, Snape had to go and rub my nose in it every chance he got. Then - then there's the fact that he's the one who brought Ron back!"

Lupin sat on the edge of the desk with is back toward Harry. It was best not to look him in the eye when he was sharing a heart to heart with the young man. He had read somewhere that males and eye contact were not subjects that went hand in hand. "What do you mean he brought Ron back?" he asked delicately.

"I mean he literally carried Ron back here and gave us - I mean Hermione the spell to get Ron back. Only Hermione read it wrong the first time around and ... all that matters is that Ron is coming back," she said sullenly.

"What's going to change if Ron comes back?" Lupin asked, feigning ignorance.

"Nothing," Harry responded, a bit too quickly. There was an awkward silence and Lupin heard Harry shifting in his chair. "That bastard killed Dumbledore and then ... and then he kills my hope. I mean, Ginny ... she was just because ... because she was there and Ron had his face attached to Lavendar's and Hermione was ... who knows what the hell was going on in her mind? I sure don't. He told her he loved her. She didn't say anything back to him - but she can't ... not if he's back. I just ..." Harry rambled.

"No one blames you for what happened to Ginny. She was ... foolish ... for leaving the protections of the spell."

"How did they know she was there. Why were they waiting for her?" Harry asked. "I've been thinking of that over and over again and it just doesn't add up."

"They all knew where Godric's Hollow was. They knew your parents lived there. They knew you would go back there. They just couldn't get to you unless you left the grounds. The probably took shifts waiting. Your temper and quick action are legendary, Harry. You know that. They were taking advantage of your weakness and in the process they took advantage of hers."

"I didn't even care that she died, Remus. Not really. My heart should of exploded or I should have screamed or ... something. Not even now. I can't even cry for her. I cry because of her," he whispered. "I'm just like Voldemort."

Lupin paused. "Harry, what would have happened if it had been Hermione?"

Harry didn't say a word in reply. Lupin heard a sharp intake of breath and what sounded like a sniffle. He reached in his robes and retrieved a handkerchief. He turned around and offered it to Harry. He gave him a look that asked, "What?"

"I would cry for her. I would have screamed. And I would have followed the Apparation trace and killed Bellatrix where she stood. Nothing else would have mattered other than revenge. I wouldn't have cared about anything else - not even the Wizarding world if he would have killed her."

"See? You're nothing like him." Lupin stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. "I have to tell you something, Harry."

Harry looked up at Lupin with his glassy eyes. He blinked back the fresh tears and straightened in the chair. No good news had ever been prefaced by that phrase.

"Oh, no, it's nothing bad," Lupin said, his voice bright. "No. It's just that, I've been watching you and Hermione watch each other. I've been around a lot of people who are in love, Harry and it's obvious that you and Hermione are in love. She doesn't love Ron - not the same way she loves you. Of that, I'm certain."

"What do you mean that's good news? I might as well sign her death warrant myself! It's safer for her if she loves Ron." He stood up. "Safer for her, but horrible for me. If he has her, I'll hate him. I know I will." Harry's voice was quiet and betrayed his feelings of self-loathing. "He's my best friend."

"And because he's your best friend, he'll understand."

***

Hermione was bending over a steaming cauldron when Harry found her in the Room of Requirement.

"... seven, eight, nine, ten. Then stir eight times anti-clockwise," she said to herself. Harry watched her stir the potion. When she tapped the wooden spoon on the edge of the cauldron and sat it down, he cleared his throat.

"Hi, Harry. This potion is almost done. All we need to do is force it down Ron's throat and he should be able to break through the barrier on his own. We don't need to go back."

Harry nodded.

"What's wrong, Harry?" she asked, worried. "You look a bit peaky."

"You didn't tell him you loved him back," was all he said.

"He heard us, Harry. He already knows what we said to each other before we got sucked into his head. He still loves me. I already told you how I feel, Harry."

"I know, it's just ... not how I wanted him to find out. And he didn't say anything about it."

"What do you expect him to say?" she snapped. "I'm sorry. It's just that I feel horrible about it, too. But I can't help how I feel and you can't help how you feel. And as we just saw, life is short and we might not be here tomorrow and damn it, Harry, I love you."

Harry smiled. "Then it's enough for me." He reached out for Hermione and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on her forehead and pulled her body into his. He hugged her tightly to him. "I don't want to lose you, Hermione. I'm afraid that if I love you, you'll die."

"If you don't love me, I'll die," she whispered.

"Then you leave me no choice. I'll have to love you forever."

"Guess so."

Hermione pulled away from Harry and added a half an inch of space between them. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips gently into his. Harry kissed her back. He wrapped his arm about her waist and pressed her against himself. He allowed his free hand to tangle in her hair so he could deepen the kiss and get closer to her. They pulled apart and stared at each other for a long moment.

"Well, you had better get back to the potion, Hermione. I think I need to have chat with Ron."

Hermione froze. "You can't go back in there alone! It's too risky. From what Prof... I mean Snape's notes say, there are traps and blocks established by the spell. I have to give him this potion first and then perform the counter spell exactly ten minutes after. If he doesn't revive fifteen minutes after the spell is cast, then we go in to his mind and pull him out. We're lucky the three of us aren't living in Ron's head right now," she said in her familiar bossy tone.

Harry sniggered. "Well at least you and I know there is plenty of space available."

Hermione picked up a wadded up bit of parchment and playfully threw it at Harry. "Make yourself useful and set up that number four copper cauldron. Fill it with water and add the pre-mixed silver base, please."

Harry and Hermione set to work. First thing in the morning they would administer the potion to Ron.

***

Ron was sputtering and coughing when he finally came to. Harry and Hermione were each seated at the foot of his bed, one of them on each side.

"That stuff tastes bloody awful, Hermione. I don't care if it did save my life -- that was just horrid. You couldn't have added some mint or a dash of pureed beef?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Next time, I'll look in to it," she said rolling her eyes.

"There better not be a next time," added Harry.

"I'm going to have to agree with Harry on this one here, love," replied Ron. He looked at Hermione meaningfully. "Like I said, I'd love you no matter what. Even if you'd rather be with Harry. And I've had a lot of time to think and ... well, Harry, if you hurt her I'll kill you!"

"I think that's the closest thing we're going to get to a blessing, Harry," said Hermione.

"Too right. Now, what does a bloke have to do to get something to eat around here?"

Harry produced a tray of broth and hot chocolate for Ron. "It's not pureed beef, but considering you've been eating through a tube since you've got here this is a step up."

"Thanks, mate. Say, have you two seen Luna? I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Even before you two started making googley eyes at each other," he smirked.

Just as Harry started to respond, Madam Pomfrey appeared from her office. "Out you two. I have to examine this patient and make sure he's safe and sound after your experimentations."

Harry and Hermione looked at Ron. "We'll be back later," they said at the same time.

***

Harry and Hermione were sitting together under their tree near the lake. The giant squid was tickling the surface of the lake with its long tentacles. Harry was throwing bits of fish into the lake as they sat there.

Hermione leaned against him. "That went well, too well."

"I think he knew how we felt the whole time. I think he was just biding his time and enjoying what he had while it lasted," Harry said as he wiped his hands off on his jeans.

"Do you think he and Luna are going to date?" she asked idly.

"We can only hope. Ron's got a long way to go. He's going to need us."

"It seems like we all need us," Harry said softly.

"That it does. Now quit brooding like a sociopathic megalomaniac and kiss me."

Harry was happy to oblige. Tomorrow, they'd look for horcruxes and Dark Lords. Today, he would just enjoy the young woman he loved.

***

The end.

Thanks to Gothicide for the beta. All mistakes remain my own and as I catch them I'll go back and edit. Sorry for the html coding that got left in this version. I fixed it as soon as I noticed. Feedback never goes unappreciated. Thank you so much for reading.

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