Hermione is Fat!

Harry85

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 03/11/2005
Last Updated: 03/11/2005
Status: completed

Just a one-shot on a plot bunny that kept coming into my head. Hermione's hit by an hex and...read and find out what happens!

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

Disclaimer: I don't own HP. JK Rowling does.

A/N: Hope you'll like this story, as I think the idea may be funny. Please, if you read, lave me a comment, it takes you few seconds and makes me happy!

Hermione's Fat!

(Harry's POV)

It is a day like all the others in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I and my best mate Ron Weasley have just woken up, and we are going to dress to reach Hermione in the Great Hall. She'll be already there probably, as she always wakes up early.

I wonder how she can do that, sometimes it's simply beyond me. Well, lots of things of Hermione are beyond me at times. But that's the reason I love her.

Wait, I said love? Now, don't misunderstand me. I love her, yes, but just like a best friend should.

Nothing romantic there.

Yeah.

However, I can't shake the feeling today will be an interesting day in its own way.

So, me and Ron head toward our breakfast, but I don't really listen at him. I guess he's blabbering about he Cannons being near to win the league for the first time in a century, or about what he'll have to eat in few minutes, so I nod my head now and then.

Finally we reach Gryffindor table, and as predicted Hermione's there. She has saved us two seats, as usual, and has a stack of letters near her plate.

Love letters. She gets them every day, by now, so we are all used to it. She's one of the hottest girls in Hogwarts this year, so it is simply normal.

Hottest? Now, that's not a thing you would think of your best friend, is it?

“Morning, Hermione” I say, abandoning my still not really woken up body on the seat on her right.

“Morning, Harry, Ron” she says cheerfully. I turn to look at her, surprised by her tone.

I take sight of her chestnut hair, adorning her cute face, and I feel unable to tear my gaze away from her pink lips, they seem so soft…

I wonder what would feel like to kiss them…

Suddenly she turns, probably feeling my gaze resting on her.

“What? Do I have dirty on my face?” she asked, still brightly but with an hint of worry.

“Hem…no, there's nothing wrong with you” I manage to say, shaking myself from my reverie.

I suddenly remember why she's so cheerful when Head Boy Ernie McMillan arrives at our table to pick her up.

“Hello, Harry, Ron. Herms, would you like for me to accompany you to your first class?”

“Of course, Ernie. I would love that” she says, taking her books and waving goodbye at us.

Yeah, they are a couple.

Have been for the last few weeks, well really since we came back from holidays in September, three months ago, but I still haven't got totally used to it. I kind of like forgetting it, it seems.

I roll my eyes at all the sickening sweet things he's probably whispering in her ear as she keeps giggling while they walk out of the Hall.

Hermione Granger and giggling have never been in the same sentence before Ernie came into the picture.

But then, she's growing, it was due to happen that she started getting more feminine. Hormones are really powerful things. Look at me, ogling at my best friend's lips just because she's a girl…

Now, that was strange. I've never looked her in that way. I mean, I've always known she was a girl, unlike Ronniekins who discovered it in fourth year, so it didn't come so surprising to me when she started getting very interesting curves on her body, becoming prettier and prettier, till now that she is really hot.

So here we are again. I'm once more thinking about my female best friend's body. And what's worse, it's making me hard!

This isn't right.

“Hey, mate. You here?” Ron asks me.

“Yeah, just a bit lost in thought”

“Bet it was about Ernie and Hermione” he says, with his mouth full of sausages.

“First of all, don't speak with your mouth full. It can be disgusting. Second, no, I wasn't thinking about them”

Ok, that was a lie. But it started from them to progress onto thinking about Hermione only, so it is an half lie.

“Why don't you just admit you are in love with Hermione and you're jealous?” he says.

“Because I'm not!”

“Whatever”

Lately Ron has been teasing me a lot about Hermione and my reactions to her. Seems I've been looking adoringly at her more than once, as he puts it.

But that's rubbish. Not that I didn't look at her adoringly, but that's not for the reason he says.

Finally we manage to get to Transfiguration class. Professor McGonagall has never liked me and Ron being late, and usually she punishes us for that, so today we literally run to the room to be on time.

Tomorrow is Saturday, and I don't want to pass it doing extra work. Not at all.

So, we seat just behind Hermione.

“Nice of you two to arrive in time” she says at us, mild glaring.

I lock eyes with her, and find myself drowning in her brown pools. I have to restrain myself to move closer to her face and kiss her.

So this is the second time in few minutes I feel the urge to kiss her. But maybe I was a bit shaken by the first time yet. However I manage to flash at her my goofy grin that always seems to calm her down.

“Thought it was better come in time since tomorrow is free” I say.

“Harry James Potter…” she starts, faking to be angry at me, but with amusement in her eyes, however she can't finish as the Professor enters.

She shakes her head smiling, then turns, ready to take her usual five pages of notes from a lesson I can't write more than two about.

Our next lesson is Care of Magical Creatures, with Hagrid. I simply love this lesson, as it's taught by one of the people I care more about on this Earth. He was the one who brought me out of my misery with the Dursleys when I was eleven. Well, I still live with them at summer, but that's all different.

So, today we are paired with the Ravenclaws, and lesson passes smoothly, considering Hagrid and his love for dangerous creatures. We have to observe and take care of a strange animal, like a crossbreeding of an horse, in the body, a lion for the face and an eagle, for the wings.

“This is Gruntwing” the half-giant announces proudly.

I can't deny the animal seems sweet.

After that lesson, we have double Potions to end our day.

Perfect, seeing Snape always makes me feel good…I roll my eyes in frustration.

“Come on, Harry. I know you hate Potions, but you've got to do it well if you want to be an Auror” Hermione says me brightly. Since we passed the O.W.L. with the required mark, Outstanding, we were admitted into Advanced Potions, while Ron wasn't.

So now me and Hermione are alone, in the cold air of December, walking the grounds toward the castle. Since Ron was free Hagrid asked him to help him with something.

Guess poor Ron didn't find an excuse quickly enough to avoid it.

Suddenly Hermione takes my hand and starts moving faster.

I look at her in confusion.

“We gonna be late if we don't hurry” she explains me with a smile.

Merlin, that smile of hers could always melt my insides, and in these last few weeks it seems to have increased. I revel in the touch of her soft hand on mine, and let her lead me toward the dungeons while abandoning myself daydreaming.

I really wonder how would feel to have her in my arms, snogging the brain out of each other…

Ok, Potter, get a grip. It's Hermione we are talking about. Your best friend!

Yes, but that creamy skin…

Finally we reach the classroom through the dungeons corridors.

I am forced out of my thoughts by Snape's greasy voice behind us.

“Today we will prepare a difficult potion. So all the ones who feel inadequate” and he stares at me, wonder why? Maybe because I'm not his favourite student… “should leave the room before creating mess” he ended.

Always kind, the good old Potion Master.

So we start this blasted potion, one that makes you able to retard death by slowing your body aging. I'm paired with Hermione, as usual.

And as it has become usual, I at one point stop looking at her, frowning on some ingredient she's cutting in tiny pieces.

“Potter, it would be kind of you if you at least tried to make your potion, instead of simply staring at your companion” Snape comments. The Slytherins start laughing.

Hermione turns toward me with an inquiring look, but I, who had in the meantime blushed deeply, simply shrug and start working on my potion again.

At the end of the lesson we take our potions to Snape for being judged. I already know what he'll say of mine, even if its look is the same of Hermione's.

“This is a D, Potter” he says.

I try protesting. “Excuse me, but it seems to me it has turned out as it should”

“Yes, but that's because Granger helped you. Five points from Gryffindor for questioning me about your mark”

I simply go away, fuming. It was strange he hadn't took away points from me till that moment…

I find Hermione waiting for me, a sympathetic look on her face.

“I'm sorry, Harry”

“No problem, I'm used to it by now. Plus, at the N.E.W.T. he won't be there tormenting me, so I'll probably pass it just like the O.W.L.. Fancy a picnic on the grounds till Ron and Ernie finish their Divination lesson?” I say, smiling at her.

She blushes a bit.

“I would love to, Harry” she says, looking down.

“Hey, Granger” suddenly a shout comes from behind us.

We turn to see Pansy Parkinson walking toward us.

“What kind of spells did you use on yourself?” the Slytherin spat.

“What do you mean?” Hermione said, clearly annoyed.

“Oh, come on. Would you like to make me think that your body is natural? You know very well it can't. You're a filthy Mudblood”

At that I took my wand out.

“Wash your mouth, Parkinson, and make her your excuses, before I hex you into oblivion” I hiss angrily.

“Calm down, Harry” Hermione says me. “She's not worth you getting a detention, especially today that's Friday. She's just envious”

“Envious of a Mudblood? Never” Pansy spats, and Hermione restrains me to hex her.

So we turn and walk away.

But just then I see a turquoise light striking Hermione in her back. We both turn, but nobody is there anymore.

“It's been her” I say.

“Probably. But since the spell didn't affect me, let's go away and enjoy the day”

I nod.

I've to admit I kind of like her more relaxed behaviour. Since the start of the year she's being a bit less obsessive with study. Mind you , just a bit, but that's enough to make her company even more enjoyable than before.

Not that I would mind to be all night in her Head Girl room just studying, as long as I'm with her…

Now, where did that come from?

I can't have meant it in more-than-friendly way, could I?

So, that afternoon we enjoy a picnic on the grounds.

“You know, even if I can stand out for myself, it was sweet of you to defend me, before” she said.

“That's what friends do, isn't it?” I replied, a bit embarrassed.

“Yeah, but only very good friends” she says, then kisses me just on the corner of my mouth.

I can feel the spot tingling for long time.

Later, Ron with his girlfriend Luna and Ernie come.

You wonder how come Ron is with Luna?

Well, it's been kind of shocking to me too, but last summer they passed lots of time together before we got all to Grimmauld Place, so they kind of bonded.

Then one afternoon they were resting under a tree, her head on his chest, when Ickle Ronniekins kind of kissed her.

So, hours pass, we chat and laugh all together, then the two couples leave. They find lame excuses, but I know they are going to lock themselves somewhere and have some snogging session.

I sigh and wander in the sky with my Firebolt for some time, flying over the lake just inches over the water, like I did the first day I mounted Buckbeak, then finally head to the castle for dinner.

Hermione and Ron are already there, and particularly bright too, so my previous assumption is confirmed. They did have some snogging with their respective companions.

We chat happily during dinner, planning the next day activities, then head for the common room. There, in the midst of first years and others doing noises, me and Ron set for a chess match which final outcome is already known, while Hermione settles on the couch near our table reading a novel.

Finally time to go to bed arrives, so we head to our different dorms.

“Night, Hermione” I call to her.

“Night, Harry” she calls back, smiling sweetly at me from the door leading to the Heads rooms.

I feel like butterflies are doing crazy flights in my stomach, and go following Ron up the stairs to our dorm.

That night, I couldn't sleep. No nightmares, this time, tough. Well, not about Voldemort, at least.

They were a good kind of nightmares, as I kept dreaming about me and Hermione together, kissing, laughing, doing other naughty things…

Ok, so maybe I fancy her, after all. And maybe I've always known that, it's just that I didn't want to acknowledge it.

But now the truth stares at me. It can't be casual I keep looking at her and daydreaming about her lips and her body, and then I can't dream anything else all night.

Plus she's always kind to me, and supporting, and her eyes, I could drown in them, her smile makes me always melt, and her scent…I never talked about her scent till now, but when I'm behind her in class, I can smell her wonderful vanilla scent coming from her hair…

Maybe Ron wasn't just teasing me. Maybe I really am in love with her. Scratch that. I definitely am in love with my best friend.

Oh Merlin. This can't be good. How can you tell your best friend you're in love with her? Especially if she has a boyfriend already…

Ron was right again. I am jealous. It was not that I was looking out for her and try to avoid her being hurt by some jerk when I looked at Ernie glaring at him the first times they were together.

Finally I mange to fall asleep again, in a world where she would be mine and no other's.

(Hermione's POV)

Yesterday was a Friday like many others here in Hogwarts. Today, after a good night sleep, I'm going to meet my boyfriend Ernie, Harry, Ron with Luna, and we are going to enjoy the Saturday. After all, N.E.W.T.s are still far, and we are all ahead of our assignments, so we can take a day off and have fun.

I'm going to have a shower now, then I'll dress…

Hey, why do I feel so heavy?

I look at myself, and almost faint.

I don't know how, but in one night's time I passed from my thin figure to a whale-like one.

What the hell happened to me?

I can't help it, and burst in tears…

(Harry's POV)

I'm waiting for Hermione with Ron in the common room. Then we'll go pick their significant others up and we'll head for the grounds.

Strange, tough. Hermione's always punctual, but now she's fifteen minutes late already.

Parvati and Lavender pass near us.

“Hey, Lav, have you seen Hermione?” I ask her.

“What? No, I haven't. Maybe she's sleeping in”

“Okay, thanks” I say her. It's not like Hermione to sleep in when she knows we're waiting for her. I better go and check.

So me and Ron go to the portrait of a knight and say the password.

“Books and Herbs”

The hole opens so we step into the corridor to their common room. Guess Ernie is already out, or he would be here searching for her too.

We walk to her room door, and we knock on it.

“Hermione, it's us, Harry and Ron. Is all ok?” I ask.

(Hermione's POV)

I hear knocking on the door.

It's Harry with Ron, checking on me. I say nothing, I can't muster a normal voice with tears running freely on my face.

Soon later, I hear the door clicking open. I curse myself for teaching Harry that advanced version of Alohomora, thinking it could at handy at times. Surely not for me now.

(Harry's POV)

We enter her room and see her on her bed, trying to cover herself with the sheets, tears falling freely, and a body at least four times her normal one.

She's really huge, lots lore than a pregnant woman about to give birth.

“Hey, Hermione, you look like a whale” Ron blurts out.

I close my eyes. He can really be insensitive at times.

“Ron please, can you wait outside?” I say, trying to avoid him saying other hurtful things to her.

He glares at me, but does it. Good.

Then I walk toward her and silently wrap my arms around her body. I try to at least.

“Mione, it's okay” I try to say soothingly.

“No, Harry, its not. I'm horrid, and I don't know how this happened or how to resolve it. I'm so shocked and ashamed with myself I can't even think straight!”

“About how this happened I kind of have a theory. Probably it has been that hex Pansy used on you yesterday”

She looks at me in realization.

“Yeah, that bitch. I forgot of that” she says, angry. But then starts crying again.

“This doesn't solve the problem. I'm still a whale” she says.

I brush her tears away.

“Mione, we'll find a solution. I promise you. For the time being, tough, you know me, Ron, Ernie and all the others who love you for who you are will be supporting you through this. The others, well, just let them go to Hell”

She smiles at me feebly.

“Now, first thing we have to do, we have a day with friends to enjoy, so let's get ready for that” I say, taking her hand and leading her to her drawer.

“Harry, my clothes won't fit now” she says rationally. I didn't think of that.

“Well, we'll enlarge them. Few “Engorgio” spells and they'll be perfect. What are we wizard and witch for?” I say, grinning. She smiles again.

Minutes later, we exit her room to find Ron there. We head to the hospital wing to see if Pomfrey can do anything.

“…and you say she was hit with a turquoise light, eh?” she repeats after I explain the situation.

“Yes, that's it”

“Well, I don't think I can do anything. To break the spell, she needs to find her true love. Only that can revert the effects”

The three of us leave dejectedly and go and see Luna and Ernie down in the Entrance Hall.

Soon we arrive there.

Ernie looks at Hermione with his eyes big.

“Hello, guys. Sorry we're a bit late” I say, since neither Hermione or Ron seems to speak.

Ernie simply ignores me.

“Hermione, what the hell happened to you?” he asks. “You are so fat you look disgusting!”

If I weren't holding Hermione for fear she could trip and fall due to her new body difficult balance, I would have punched him right there.

“I don't know, Ernie. I found myself this way this morning” she says, unable to meet his eyes.

“Well, I guess this means we're trough then. Probably the whispers about you using charms for looking prettier were true” he says walking away.

I was fuming, and Hermione started crying again.

“See, I told her she was just a filthy Mudblood and couldn't be that pretty” Pansy said, coming in the room just then. I forget of the precaution of holding Hermione, and stalk toward her.

I grip her on her collar, slamming her into a wall.

“Hear me, Parkinson. You better not come near her again, or I'll kick your ugly Slytherin arse till you die for it” I hiss menacingly.

The girl pales and I release her. She swiftly walks back into the dungeons.

“Ok, guys. Guess we'll do without the Hufflepuff git” I say. “Come on, Ron, we have a wonderful day to enjoy”

“Hem…Harry, I think I and Luna will pass. She asked me to help her with some assignments…”

“She's a Ravenclaw and asked you for help with assignments?” I ask, angry at him for creating such a pathetic excuse.

“Yeah, well, we better go…” Ron says, and swiftly he and his girlfriend disappear.

I sigh. “Seems we are on our own” I say her trying to light the mood but not succeeding.

“Harry, it's better if I go back to my room, so you can enjoy your day too, without being seen with me” she says, still crying.

“Hermione, don't you dare to say something like that. I'd never abandon you, and you know it. After all the times you stood by me, I owe you this”

“Thanks, Harry, but really, don't feel obliged”

“There's another reason too” I mutter blushing. “Well, let's go to the kitchens and retrieve the picnic bag we asked Dobby for yesterday” I say taking her hand and leading her.

She lets me, like I was carrying a bag.

So we have our day in the grounds, with students staring at her, laughing, commenting. I glare at each one of them.

Then she takes me back to her room, where we chat and study all afternoon. No reason for being out in the cold air without our friends.

Really, I expected something different from Ron. I'll have a nice chat with him later.

Studying seems to lift her spirits a bit, and out of the other students view, she lets me cheer her up, till I manage to see her smile, the one thing I missed almost all day.

Even in her condition, I couldn't help myself to ogle at her lips, long to caress her hair, and see her smile. Once she gets back some of her usual mood, her eyes come back to twinkle too, while for all day they have been dull and empty. That's the Hermione I love, no matter what her body looks like.

Okay, I admit this last part was extremely sweet and some of you could have gotten caves with it but I couldn't like her more than I do right now. Of course she looked better yesterday, but that's a detail. What really matters is inside, and there she's been untouched by the spell.

She is beautiful inside now just like she was before, that's was why I still love her.

Finally time to go to dinner comes, and with some convincement on my side, she agrees to go down to the Great Hall.

“It's not like I can stay cooped up here till this ends, can I?” she says brightly while we are descending the stairs. I see a Ravenclaw staring at her, but before he can make any kind of comment, I glare at him, and he chickens out of it, walking away.

We enter the room and head to our places at Gryffindor table like nothing had happened, even if those jerks of the Slytherins keep snickering at her.

I'm proud of how she reacts, simply ignoring them. Seems our afternoon together has made miracles to her self esteem with this new body. Or maybe she's just trying to act strong.

I glare at Ron as soon as we seat in front of him.

During dinner few words are exchanged, and then everyone heads on his/her way. I keep her company till she decides it's time for her to go to bed, and then after helping her with her clothes, I go to my own dorm.

Few minutes later, Ron comes.

I stare at him coldly for moments, then I speak. “Ron, why did you leave us today?”

“Well…I was not comfortable near her, Harry. You know I tend to make her upset even when she's normal, I wouldn't want to risk it now that probably some stupid comment would have slipped from me”

I sigh. “Ron, while I know you've a terrible case of foot-in-your-mouth, it would have been kind all the same to be near her in this hard moment. I mean, one day she's the hottest girl in Hogwarts, the next she's so fat, it's clear she needs support. But you simply chicken out of it and disappear!” I yell the last part.

“Well, Harry, it's easy for you. You never make her angry, you always know what to say or do, you're always the bloody hero! Do it yourself then!” Ron shouts, now angry too.

“In fact I did! And don't go with your thing about me being an hero, Ron. You know I don't want it” I say, a bit hurt by his words.

“Whatever” he says me turning.

I can't stand it, so I leave and go to her quarters.

She's in their common room, crying.

“Hey, Mione, what's happened?” I ask, wrapping my arms around her.

“I had a dream in which you and Ron kept laughing at me and insult me”

“Oh, Mione. You know we wouldn't do that” I say, speaking for Ron too. He didn't mean to offend her when he left today.

“I know. Can you simply hold me, Harry? I don't want to feel lonely tonight”

I accept, so she leads me in her room and we sleep cuddled together in her bed.

Next day, we head to breakfast together, ready to enjoy another day free from lessons.

When we enter, Malfoy comes toward us smirking.

“Let's honour the Hogwarts Whale” he shouted, for all the Hall to hear, showing us the “Daily Prophet”.

It has an huge title with a picture of Hermione's current state.

“Hermione Granger - The Hogwarts Whale”

The article continues, but I don't read it yet.

I grab Malfoy and pull him out of the room, then slam him into a wall.

“You passed the limit, Malfoy. I already warned Parkinson to stay away from her, now you gonna pay” I say, then punch him breaking his nose. Blood is on my hand, and I quickly polish it with a charm before entering the Hall again, leaving Malfoy behind on the floor, bleeding.

I take her hand and lead her to the table. Then I read the article.

“Hermione Granger, best friend of Harry Potter, has grown till the start of this year into a fine woman, really beautiful if we must be truthful. But seems she obtained that with charms, and probably she did one too much or one went wrong, probably trying to win Harry Potter's heart, since she's now in this ridiculous and horrid state that drives all her friends away. Even her boyfriend, Ernie McMillan, has dumped her seeing the results of her machinations…”

It keeps going but I stop reading, already fuming.

I look at her and find tears threatening to fall, so I brush them away.

“Hermione, look at me”

She slowly turns.

“We know that they write only rubbish, so you just have to ignore them”

“But it hurts so much, Harry” she whimpers.

“I know, but crying over it won't do you any good. Let's go now” I say taking her hand.

I lead her to a walk near the lake, and finally we find a spot far from the castle and quiet from privy eyes.

I seat her in front of me.

“Hermione, there's something I've to tell you” I say, deciding to confess her my love. I have wanted to all day, yesterday, but pushed it aside knowing she needed a friend in that moment, and not a lover.

“You don't want to be around me anymore, isn't it, Harry?” she says.

“What? No, I would never think such a thing, Mione!” I shout, hurt that she thought I could do something like that.

I then cup her face so she can't avoid my eyes. I risk to lose myself in her pools, but I really need her to look at me while I say that.

“Remember I yesterday muttered there was another reason for which I was standing by you?” I say, feeling myself blushing.

“Yeah, but I didn't think a lot of it” she said, surprised of where the conversation was going.

“Well, the reason is…” I start, taking her hands in mine, but then I stop. I can't concentrate with her passing her tongue quickly on her lower lip, moistening it, and her eyes looking at me like that…

“Yes?” she says, inquiringly.

I can't take it anymore, so instead of answering her, I crush my lips on her own, pulling her close as much as I can with her new body.

She seems surprised at this, and at first tenses, but then she relaxes into my kiss, opening her mouth at my tongue's begging, and sliding her own in my mouth.

A battle of tongues ensues, and when we finally part, minutes later, we both pant for lack of air.

“This is the reason, Hermione. I love you, no matter what your body looks like. I love you for who you are, for your inner beauty, that's the most important thing”

She starts crying at my words.

“Oh, Harry, you're so sweet. And I love you too. I've been with Ernie trying to not waste my youth pining for you, but you were always in my thoughts” she says, then we kiss again.

Somewhere along the kiss, I feel her become lighter and lighter, and since I was pulling her closer to me with all my force, due to her weight, I fall on my back, bringing her with me.

I keep kissing her, not thinking too much of it at the moment, till we part again.

That's the moment I realize what has happened.

She has come back to normal. Even hotter than I remembered…

I grin at her.

“What are you grinning at, Harry?” she asks me amused.

“Only that I've got to date the hottest girl in Hogwarts”

“Prat! I'm the biggest, not the hottest, right now…” she says swatting me on the arm. In doing so, she feels herself light, so looks at her body.

I grin even wider expecting her reaction.

After a moment or two, she looks at me in shock, then grins at me.

“I'm back to normal! I'm back to normal!” she squeals throwing her arms around my neck and pushing me back into the snow that by now covered the grounds, we were near Christmas after all…

“Yeah, I kind of noticed” I say, kissing the top of her head. “Seems I was your true love after all…”

“Yeah, you definitely are” she says snuggling near me while we walk back to the castle. I wrap an arm around her and pull her closer.

“I love you, Mione”

“I love you too, Harry”

THE END

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