Caught Kissing

JanieB

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 12/11/2005
Last Updated: 12/11/2005
Status: completed

This is a humorous one-shot in which Harry is caught kissing someone and the consequences that followed...

Chapters

1. Caught Kissing

1. Caught Kissing

Author's Note

Totally fluffy, pointless, fun, PWP one-shot.

CAUGHT KISSING

By JanieB

When: Sixth Year (ignoring HBP because I want to. Except for the “more fanciable than ever” line cause I like that bit.)

Where: Hogwarts, of course

What: Hermione witnesses an event that requires a serious discussion with her “Little Inner Voice”.

Our story begins on a lovely, sunny, Saturday afternoon in June.

*

Hermione was walking along the corridor having just come from the library (just a little light reading - nothing serious), minding her own business. Since she had no other plans for the moment, she made a spontaneous decision to visit Hagrid; she hadn't had a proper visit with him for a few weeks now. So saying, she turned left at the end of the corridor, heading for the entrance hall.

As she turned the corner, she was confronted with the sight of Harry and - well, she didn't know who the girl was.

But she sure as hell knew what she was doing.

She was kissing Harry.

It was one of those moments. You know, the ones that seem to take an eternity to pass, because they're happening in slow motion.

Hermione stared, open-mouthed at Harry; he had his back against the wall and his hands were waving in the air indicating some sort of powerless distress, while being thoroughly kissed. Extremely thoroughly. Hermione couldn't believe her eyes. An Unknown Witch had a death grip on Harry's face with her spindly fingers and was kissing him!

Kissing MY - I mean HIM - Harry! Outrage oozed from every syllable.

This thought rooted Hermione to the spot with shock.

Then Harry made a sort of “mmmpph!” sound as his hands managed to find purchase on The Unknown Witch's arms, enabling him to push her away from him and wrench his lips free, turning his head only to find himself looking straight into the headlamps of Hermione's uber-shocked, wide-eyed, unblinking gaze…

Because she could (this is Hermione we're talking about), she pulled herself together enough to delicately arch her left eyebrow while stepping gracefully aside, giving a deprecating wave of her slender hand as she said, ever-so-sweetly (if just a tad sarcastically), `Sorry for interrupting!' Then she unconsciously squared her shoulders and walked rapidly towards the towering front doors of Hogwarts Castle, a thousand unbidden emotions bursting into life and churning her insides into an awful mess. Emotionally speaking.

Anyone seeing the expression on Hermione's face as she escaped (which is what she was doing, despite dignified appearances), couldn't help but laugh. It was rather comical to see the cool, collected Hermione Granger pulling the strangest faces - rolling her eyes, frowning, screwing her eyes tightly shut, gritting her teeth, mouthing a few, well-chosen rather rude words. She was still doing expressive things with her eyes and mouth as she passed through the open doors, ran down the steps and headed across the grass in the general direction of Hagrid's hut.

Back in the corridor, in an uncharacteristically rude and abrupt gesture, Harry pushed the kissing witch aside and bolted after the retreating form of his best friend, his expression horrified.

Of all the times for that nuisance of a girl to bail me up and kiss me, she had to do it front of Hermione!

Hermione was thinking furiously while walking as quickly as possible away from the scene of the crime. From the sight of that dreadful girl kissing Harry.

Who said that? she demanded silently.

Said what? came the innocent reply.

You know what I mean! About Harry!

Oh, you mean that bit about kissing MY Harry?

Yes!

Well, that little thought has been tucked away in here for a while now, just thought I'd voice it. Why you've been so determined to ignore it is beyond me. Not to mention all those others laying around here…

It's not true!

What isn't?

The “my” bit!

Well, not yet, dear, but -

But nothing - it's not true! I don't think that!

If you say so. Scepticism dripped from every unspoken word.

You don't believe me!

Nope. You were the one that told him he was more fanciable than ever, remember?

As she walked, Hermione's head drooped.

I did, didn't I? But - it's not possible! I don't understand! How did this happen?

Quite easily, really, if you think about it, you see -

`Hermione! Wait!'

Bloody hell. Harry.

Not very nice, dear.

`Hermione! Please!' He was running; she could hear his feet pounding on the ground behind her.

She knew he'd catch up with her so she stopped. But she didn't turn around; she needed these few precious seconds to compose herself and so she took a deep breath and stopped pulling faces.

A slightly panting Harry took a couple of steps past her, then turned, trying to catch his breath and speak at the same time.

`Hermione! I - I'm sorry! I don't know what happened - she just grabbed my face -'

Hermione held up her hand in the traditional “stop” gesture.

`Harry - don't. It's not necessary for you to apologise to me. You can kiss anyone you please. Anywhere and any time you want. It's nothing to do with me. And you'll have to excuse me, I'm busy.'

Very brisk and businesslike. Well done, dear! Too bad none of it's true.

`Busy? Doing what?' Harry looked around as if he might see a pile of books nearby demanding Hermione's attention.

Hermione stepped around Harry and continued walking with no particular destination in mind, completely forgetting she'd intended to visit Hagrid.

`Having a discussion,' she said over her shoulder.

Harry immediately followed her.

`With whom?' he asked, still looking around, this time for whoever Hermione could possibly be having a discussion with.

`Myself.'

`What?' Harry ran a couple of steps to catch up with her, then grasped Hermione's right arm above the elbow and turned her to face him.

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes. `With myself, all right? I say something, then the Little Inner Voice answers me and so on and so forth. You know, when you're trying to work something out in your head?'

`Well, I know about working things out, but - a Little Inner Voice? Wait -' Harry suddenly realised that he did occasionally hear from a Little Inner Voice. The one that usually sounded like Hermione.

He nodded. `Yeah, I know what you mean. So what are you trying to work out?'

Fixing him with a determined glare, Hermione said pointedly, `Nothing I wish to discuss right now, thank you.' Mr More-Fanciable-Than-Ever.

Despite wanting more than anything to know what was on Hermione's mind, Harry nevertheless said nothing. Instead, he let go of her arm and fell into step beside her as she continued on her way.

`Where are you going?' he asked as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Hermione stopped walking again and crossed her arms, catching Harry off guard who walked another few steps before stopping and looking back at Hermione with a puzzled expression.

`Harry, I can't think while I'm talking to you.' She shook her head distractedly. `I mean talking. While I'm talking. I need to be alone.'

`Why can't you tell me?' he asked, unable to completely mask the hurt in his voice.

Hermione was desperate and exasperated. Why wouldn't Harry just leave her alone? She really couldn't think clearly while he was around!

She took a deep breath. `Harry, it's not that I can't tell you, I just can't tell you now.'

Fibber. You don't even know exactly what it is you can't tell him!

I'm quite aware of that, thank you very much. Once he's gone, however, I'll be able to work on figuring it out. I hope.

`So you will tell me?' persisted Harry.

`At the right time, I promise.' Whenever that might be…

They stood there, Harry with his hands still in his pockets, looking down at Hermione who still had her arms crossed, waiting for him to leave. But he didn't.

Hermione tilted her head to the side.

`Harry?' He looked down at his trainer as it started to kick at a tuft of grass.

`I'm going,' he muttered. But he didn't. He couldn't help but feel that if he let this go now, he'd never get another chance. A chance at what precisely, he wasn't sure, but instinct kept him right where he was.

Hermione's voice became a little sterner.

`Harry.'

Ask him what's wrong, why he isn't going.

Hermione mentally huffed. No! I really need to be alone, to think. No Harry. No distractions.

Harry still hadn't gone. Hermione groaned as she dropped her arms, putting her hands on her hips.

`Harry, please! I really need to think here!'

Harry looked at her from under his dark eyebrows.

`Is it anything to do with that wretched Fourth Year witch kissing me?' he asked gruffly.

Of course it is! Go on, tell him!

Hermione quickly looked away. She felt a little panicky. She didn't want to lie - but she couldn't tell the truth, could she? She couldn't just say “yes”, could she?

Of course you can! Just say it, tell him “yes”.

But -

Just do it. Please. Or we'll be here forever. And I have lot of nooks and crannies to clean out up here. Lots of clutter - all these thoughts you keep hiding away… messy!

Before she could stop herself, Hermione said, `Well, yes, but it's not what you think.'

Quick as wink he came back with, `What is it you think I think?'

Oh, bloody great! Thanks! Now look what you've done!

Me? ME? You're the one tucking the “my Harry” thoughts away in dark corners up here, dear, not me. See? Here's another one… you've been at this for a while now…

Looking around desperately as though she could draw inspiration from nowhere and with her hands tracing nervous, random patterns through the air, Hermione attempted to think of something to say that wouldn't sound totally mad. The problem was, she couldn't get these new thoughts out of her head long enough to think of an answer! She was pretty sure she didn't want to see his reaction if she said, `I was upset seeing you kissing another girl but I didn't know I would be until I was. But I was. I am.'

That's my girl! Go for it!

You are NOT funny.

Harry stood, waiting. Strangely, the sight of Hermione in this flustered state was reassuring. And not a little cute.

Finally, Hermione burst out with, `I don't know! What does it matter? I just need to be alone and think!'

Harry had a sudden insight for no reason he could fathom. Boy wizards do that occasionally. Even Muggle boys have been known to manage it. He made a statement.

`Because of me.'

Holy smouldering cauldron! He's hit the nail on the head!

Hermione's hands left her hips and found each other with the fingers of one hand appearing to be braiding themselves with the fingers of the other. She was watching them as though her life depended on it. On not looking at Harry.

What made him say that? Does he know? Know what? Oh, damn it! What's happening?! she cried to herself. Ten minutes ago I was fine - everything was fine. And now -

And now?

Now, I feel ridiculous. Before I turned that bloody corner I was fine! One little corner, one not-so-little kiss and I'm a seething mass of confusion! How dare she just kiss him like that? Couldn't Harry see it coming?

Ooooh! Look at this new little thought I found back here!

No, no more!

Oh yes! said that traitorous, wretched, nosy Little Inner Voice. Look at this! Woo hoo! You wish it had been YOU involved in that little kissing episode!

With a lot of feeling, her eyes screwed shut, her teeth clenched and her hands, now free of each other, tightly fisted by her sides, Hermione groaned.

`No!' she cried vehemently.

`Well, all right, I just thought -'

`I'm not talking to you, Harry! Yes, because of you, if you must know, but -'

I didn't think of kissing him at all!

Oh, yes, you did, you did, you did! You want to kiss Harry, you want to kiss Harry! chanted that Little Inner Voice. Doing so with unadulterated glee, I might add. No consideration for poor Hermione whatsoever.

`Both of you leave me alone!' cried Hermione, turning on her heel and walking away from Harry. He was sure he caught a glimpse of steam coming out of her ears while wondering who the “both of you” could be. He knew he was one, of course… Ah! The Little Inner Voice - that's right! How cute…

And then it struck him that she'd said it was because of him that she wanted to - now what was it she wanted? Harry's head was spinning. He wasn't sure of whole lot here, but at least he knew one thing: Hermione was upset by seeing him being kissed by - dare he think it? - by someone else? And if she was, did that mean what he thought it might mean? What he hoped it might mean?

As you can imagine, Hermione was feeling quite distressed as she stormed off. What girl wouldn't? She'd caught her best friend kissing which had somehow turned up feelings for said best friend which had no business lurking about inside her. And she did want to kiss him, damn it, which was really ridiculous. And why is it, that once such feelings and thoughts are freed, you can't go back to the way things were - the way you were - before you were aware of them? Hermione thought she just might expire from massive confusion. She didn't even know where she was going - she was just walking - away from the very fanciable source of her current bewilderment.

As he watched her retreating back, Harry heard it. His own Little Inner Voice. The one that always reminded him of Hermione for some reason.

Don't listen to her, Harry. Don't leave her alone.

He didn't question it. He ran.

`Hermione! Wait!'

This time when he caught up with her, Harry gripped Hermione's shoulders, ensuring she couldn't turn away or escape him again.

Hermione stood in his grasp, her gaze doggedly fixed dead ahead on Harry's neck, her hands still clenched by her sides.

Rather nice neck, isn't it? Kissable, in fact.

Shut up.

`Hermione, I refuse to leave until you tell me what's wrong. And there is something wrong. I can tell. I know you.'

Tell me to shut up?! Bit rude. Can't wait to see you wriggle out of this one girl - on your own at that. On second thought, perhaps it's better NOT to wriggle out of it…

`Hermione, look at me please. You've got me worried now.'

Just kiss him. Then we can both die happy.

Die of humiliation you mean. And I thought I was on my own.

But happy. And kissed. And I changed my mind - we're in this together.

Hermione felt Harry's warm, strong fingers as they came into contact with her chin, lifting it. She closed her eyes as her head tilted back. She really couldn't trust herself to look into those gorgeous green eyes. Not while she was thinking about kissing him.

`Hermione?'

She shivered. Harry's voice was so low, and husky and… her knees. Her knees were trembling.

Wrong, dear. ALL of you is trembling, actually. Can't say I blame you, though. He's one yummy wizard.

Hermione felt two tears form and slowly trickle down her cheeks. It was just all too much.

`Hermione…' This time his voice was soft and tender and he was so close she could feel his breath on her face.

This is good! I'm liking this!

Hermione moaned; she was indeed liking it too - but she wasn't capable of replying, partly because she could feel Harry's hands cupping her face, his thumbs gently brushing across her cheeks, wiping away those traitorous tears and partly because she'd just realised, accompanied by an escalating pulse and something squeezing her insides very tightly, that the chances of Harry kissing her in the next second were extremely high. She thought she just might faint. Or melt.

Probably both. Just as long as your lips stay intact…

`Hermione, look at me please. I need to ask you something.'

Hermione partially opened one eye and peeked at him.

Coward! Open your eyes now, you silly witch!

Bossy boots. And I am not silly! Or a coward…

To prove it, Hermione slowly opened her eyes to find Harry watching her with one of his totally disarming, make-your-knees-weak, lopsided grins in place. He found her uncertainty and unexpected shyness very endearing. Once more acting on instinct and without stopping to consider the consequences, he spoke again.

`Would I be risking a major hexing if I kissed you?' he asked, his expression becoming serious once more, his voice sounding slightly hoarse and creating rivulets of heat that trickled throughout the whole of Hermione's body. She couldn't even feel her knees anymore and brought her hands up to grip Harry's wrists to steady herself.

What is happening to me? she pleaded silently.

Something wonderful, girl. Go with it.

`Well?' asked Harry, his warm breath soft on her face. He could feel imminent victory and his heart leapt.

Hermione did try to say “no” but while her mouth moved, no sound came out. Luckily Harry seemed to understand anyway, because he was moving closer…and closer. She was intensely aware of his hands tenderly holding her face; she could feel his rapid pulse beneath her fingers. Then with the softest sigh, she closed her eyes once more, just as his lips came into contact with hers.

It was a short, sweet, soft kiss and it was over far too quickly for Hermione's liking.

`Harry?' Hermione's tremulous voice contained a breathless plea, her lips parted, her eyes still closed. That way she could maintain the illusion in case she was dreaming.

When Harry's lips covered hers for the second time, she let go of his wrists and wrapped her arms around his waist, slowly collapsing against him, lost in the blissful maelstrom of sensations and feelings springing to life within her.

Whoa! Harry thoughts arriving by the millions here! And at warp speed! Situation's getting critical…

Hermione smiled against Harry's lips, prompting him to whisper, `What?'

Hermione giggled. `I was just thinking…'

`Thinking what?' Hermione wasn't sure Harry was really interested in the answer to that as he was busy kissing the corner of her smiling mouth before moving to the firm line of her jaw and when she instinctively turned her head, he trailed tantalising little kisses down the side of her neck.

`That it was probably a good thing I caught you kissing that witch. And thinking how glad I am that you followed me. But most of all I'm thinking how wonderful this feels…'

`Mmmm, does, doesn't it…' murmured Harry from the crook of her neck.

I want to keep him.

Me too.

`Harry?'

`Mmmm…'

`Did you just suddenly get an urge to kiss me or is there something you haven't been telling me?'

The delicious little kisses suddenly came to a halt and Harry lifted his head; his green eyes were whirlpools of mixed emotions as he looked down at her, causing her breath catch in her throat.

`I guess there's something I haven't been telling you.'

`Tell me now,' Hermione said softly.

If he doesn't, I promise to hex him from here to the North Pole and back.

Pipe down and stay out of this.

Injured silence followed this order.

Harry took her hand and guided her to a nearby tree; they were still quite some way from Hagrid's hut and it was a fairly secluded spot.

Sitting down with his back against the trunk, Harry had Hermione sit between his bent legs; leaning back against him, she slid down so that her head nestled into the crook of his neck. Harry held her in a loose embrace, his hands holding Hermione's as they rested on her stomach; her jean-clad legs were straight, her ankles crossed.

Sighing happily, Hermione found that when she tilted her head to the side slightly and turned it a little towards Harry, he automatically placed a warm, lingering kiss on her temple, then her cheek - and before she knew it, she'd twisted onto her side, his arms supporting her, so that he had access to her mouth, a situation he took the utmost advantage of, causing Hermione to temporarily forget that he was supposed to be telling her something.

Oy! Where's the explanation of what it is he hasn't been telling you? I'm hanging out here!

Kiss filled silence.

Excuse me - hello! Oh, for pity's sake - put me out of my misery, would you? And not that you probably care, but you should SEE it in here - it's Harry here, Harry there, Harry right, left, centre and to the rooftop! I can hardly move - it's quite possible I may suffocate!

Good. At least then you'd be quiet.

I see, I see. That's how it is then? Well, how's this? I'll just show you THIS little thought I saw whizzing past a minute ago - there! What do you think of that?

Hermione suddenly pushed away from Harry and squealed.

That got your attention, didn't it now?

`Hermione! What happened? What's wrong?'

Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth, gazing at Harry, her eyes showing shock, surprise - and was that a bit of embarrassment in there too? Yep.

`I'll tell you later.' Maybe. Maybe never.

`You're blushing!'

So you should be, too! Didn't know you knew such things, actually. I'm learning a few things myself.

`Yes, well, there's a good reason for that, which I'll also tell you about later.' Hermione settled herself back in her original position, firmly changing the subject: `You were going to tell me what it was you haven't been telling me.'

`Yes, I was, wasn't I?' mused Harry. `Well, you remember Ron's birthday party last March? When we were allowed to go to the Burrow for the weekend?' When Hermione nodded, Harry continued.

`Do you also remember that after we sang “Happy Birthday” and Ron blew out his candles, he cut his cake? Can you recall what happened next?'

Hermione's brow furrowed in thought. She remembered the enthusiastic, if less than tuneful, rendition of “Happy Birthday”, followed by Ron blowing out the candles and brandishing the knife as though it were a sword, before cutting the cake, making sure he “touched the bottom”…

Hermione laughed. `Oh yes! He made sure he cut right through the cake and that the knife touched the plate - so the closest girl would have to kiss him!'

`And the closest girl was?'

`Me! Oh!' Hermione turned and looked up at Harry, who was giving her another of those crooked smiles that seemed to be able to make interesting parts of her feel very warm.

`Yep, you.'

Hermione remembered how much fun the whole weekend had been, culminating in the whole cake-and-presents thing for Sunday afternoon tea. It had been a beautiful day for so early in the spring and when Ron had deliberately cut his cake right through he'd looked around, his gaze coming to rest on Hermione who was standing just behind him.

`Looks like it's you Hermione!' he'd laughed.

Entering into the spirit of the occasion, Hermione had thrown her arms around Ron's neck in an enthusiastic hug before giving him a kiss. It had just been the quickest, lightest touch of her lips on his and no one had thought anything of it. Or so she'd thought…

When Hermione's explanation faltered at that point, Harry said sardonically, `No one except me, that is. Seeing you kiss Ron - however innocently - seemed to have the most unusual effect on me. I just stood there, stunned. I guess I must've managed to get through the rest of the afternoon without appearing abnormal, but once I was in bed that night, I lay awake for hours, thinking about it. I believe it was roughly about two a.m. when I knew.'

`Knew what?' asked Hermione breathlessly. She'd searched her memory, but couldn't recall Harry acting strangely that day; he had indeed managed to get through the afternoon without letting on that he was disturbed in any way.

He was looking into her eyes as he spoke, his voice roughened with long suppressed ardour. `That I was as jealous as hell. That I wished it'd been me and not Ron that you'd kissed. That I wanted to kiss you - badly. All of which added up to the fact that you'd come to mean far more to me than just a friend.'

Hermione stared up at him.

`I had no idea! You never let on!'

Harry shrugged. `Wouldn't've gone down real well I imagine. I mean, if I'd come up to you and said, “Hermione, mind having a snogging session in the common room with me late one night?” I expect you would've either laughed at me or hexed me.'

`Ask me now,' said Hermione in a light, but seductive, tone.

So he did.

And I have no doubt you can guess her answer.

So I'll leave the rest to your over-active and well-exercised imaginations.

And I'm not telling either…but let me just say that it's not only crowded in here now, it's distinctly HOT…!

FINIS

Author's Note

Hopefully that's banished that little bugger of a plot bunny now! I really need to get cracking on Chapter 20 of FWAAF…*Janie hangs out “No Plot Bunnies Wanted Here - Bugger Off For Now” sign*

And I do hope you enjoyed this!

Janie xoxoxo

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