Turn Out The Lights

“What’s this black powder?”

Harry Potter picked up a white pouch, which was lying on the counter near the back of Fred and George’s shop, Weasley Wizarding Wheezes. The twins had just activated the locking charms over the doors, and rejuvenated the anti-breaking, melting, and vanishing charms on the windows.

“That’s Scandinavian Midnight Dust,” said George. “Very powerful stuff, makes Peruvian Darkness Powder look like a joke.”

“Put that down, Harry,” Hermione said, emerging from the storeroom with a box full of edible Dark Marks, which were guaranteed to make anyone sick. The things were selling like hotcakes, which mystified Hermione, which in turn amused Harry. “If you spill it we’ll lose the light in here for ten minutes.”

“Oh, no, no, no,” said Fred, shaking his long mane of red hair. “Try an hour.”

“An hour?” Hermione said, her mouth hanging open. “I didn’t think such a substance existed.”

“It does.”

Harry grasped the draw string on the bag, about to seal it shut, when Ron stood from behind the counter.

“Hey, Harry, check this out. They taste great.”

“Ron, no!” George shouted, but it was too late. Ron had tossed Harry some tickling tarts, and out of instinct, Harry tried to catch them, inadvertently dropping the small sack of Scandinavian Midnight Dust.

Harry thought the world seemed to slow down as he watched the small bag of dust fall to the floor. Fred uttered a curse word as the sack hit the floor, expelling its contents in a puff of black smoke that, instead of settling, grew lightning fast until the entire room was filled with darkness in much the same way a drop of India ink in a cup of water soon turned the contents black in a swirling cloud.

“Everyone stay calm!” Hermione shouted, and Harry could tell from the fear in her voice that she was the only one who was not calm.

“I’m calm. How ‘bout you, Fred?”

“Calm here, George. You calm, Harry?”

“Calm as can be, Fred. How about you, Ron?”

“Sure, I’m calm, Harry. Hermione? You calm.”

“Shut up, the lot of you. Fred, do you have anything to counteract the Powder?”

“Wouldn’t be any point in buying it, would there, if there was a counter agent?”

“Don’t be clever, Fred.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Hermione, just calm down.”

“I am calm, Harry.”

“You don’t sound calm. You sound angry.”

“Shut up, Ron.”

“Why’re you telling me to shut up?”

“Because being rude to you makes me feel better.”

“Aw, that’s not right.”

“Shut up!”

“Ok, Hermione, you were about ten steps to my right. Walk straight toward me.”

“I can’t walk straight in the dark, Harry! No one can.”

“Just put one foot in front of the other. You’ll come close enough to reach me.”

“Okay, just don’t move.”

“I won’t.”

“I gotta go to the little boys’ room.”

“Go in your robes, Ron.”

“Uh, no, Fred.”

“That was George.”

“I know your voice when I hear it, Fred.”

“Apparently you don’t, Ron, because George said that.”

“No he didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“You’re just saying that to be a prat.”

“Ouch, Harry!”

“What?”

“Oh, no.”

“Huh?”

“That’s not you, you’re not where you said you’d be, Harry! Ron!”

“I’m over here.”

“Fred, just open the door so we can see the light outside and walk toward that.”

“Oh no, George. Hermione wants to go into the light.”

“Don’t do it, Hermione! Don’t go into that bright light. Stay with us! Fight it. Rage against it.”

“Oh, shut up! Can’t you take anything serious for once?”

“I can’t undo the locking charms anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Well, Harry, I can’t because my wand is somewhere on the counter.”

(Something clatters)
(That something rolls)

“Er…now it’s gone and I don’t know where.”

“I can’t see a thing.”

“Duh, Harry.”

“George, this stuff isn’t unhealthy to breathe, is it?”

“No, Hermione, you’re perfectly safe.”

“It’s just…it smells funny. And it’s on my tongue. It kind of tastes like raw eggs and sawdust.”

“Lumos.”

“Ron, you idiot, we’re in Scandinavian Midnight Powder, Lumos isn’t going to work. No lighting charms will.”

“Oh, right.”

“You could summon it, couldn’t you?”

“It’s my wand, Ron, I have to have my wand to summon things. Since my wand is lost on the floor, I can’t summon it, can I?”

“Oh, right.”

“You’ve got your heart is in the right place, Ron, but what the hell did you do with your brain?”

“Shut up George!”

“That was Fred.”

“I know your voices! That was George!”

“Not this again.”

“Accio Fred’s wand.”

(crack)
(tumble, roll)

“Ah! My glasses! You broke my glasses. Ron, you idiot!”

“It was a simple mistake, Harry. Your glasses can be fixed.”

“Thanks, Hermione.”

“No problem, Ron.”

“If you two start snogging, I swear I’ll vomit.”

“Shut up, Fred.”

“I didn’t say that, Hermione, that was-”

“I may not be related to you, but I know your voices. Oh, here you are, darling.”

(slurping noises)

“Hermione!”

“Oh, Ron! I thought you were Harry!”

“Are you kissing Ron?”

“By accident, Harry.”

“At least you found one of us.”

“And she kissed you!”

“Harry, I said it was an accident!”

“Hey, what is this?”

“How’re we supposed to know, Hermione? We’re in the dark.”

“Describe it.”

“It’s about the size of a button. Smaller. Round, perfectly round and ouch! It bit me.”

(scratching noises)

“What was that?”

“Oh…the spiders must’ve gotten out, right George?”

“Right.”

“SPIDERS? Where?”

(Body jumping up onto glass counter)

“Get off the counter, Ron, before you cave it in!”

“You’ll pay for that if it breaks. Get down.”

“I’m not getting on the floor with spiders in the room. One of them bit Hermione.”

“It couldn’t have been a spider, Ron, it was too hard.”

(slurping noises)

“Okay, you know Ron’s not me, Hermione!”

“That’s not us.”

“Don’t lie, Ron-”

“No, Harry, he’s telling the truth, that’s not us.”

“Well then, what is it?”

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump)

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump)


“What is that?”

“Sounds kind of like a zombie from those old Muggle movies Dad likes so much, doesn’t it Fred?”

“Yeah, George, it does.”

“There’s no such things as zombies. There’s only…inferi.”

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump)

“It’s getting closer.”

“Everyone who has their wand, get them out.”

“Harry….”

“It’s okay, Hermione, I’ve got you.”

“Well, un-get her, Ron, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Oh, stop it, Harry.”

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump, thump, thump)

“I have my wand. We’re going to move toward the door.”

“Ahhhhh! It’s got me! It’s got me!”

(Thrashing)

“Calm down, Ron! It’s me.”

“Oh, Harry, thank God!”

….

“Er…Harry…”

“Please tell me that’s your wand, I’m holding.”

“It’s not, so move your-”

“Merlin’s beard!”

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump)

“Hermione, hold me.”

“Oh, stop it, Harry. You didn’t mean to grab his-”

“Would you three quit fooling around and come on?”

“Oh….”

“Oh…what, George?”

“The door won’t open.”

“What do you mean the door won’t open?”

“What is that I’m grabbing now?”

“My arm.”

“Thank God.”

“Hermione, get between us.”

“Right.”

“Give me your wand.”

…(time passes)

“No luck for me either. This is not good.”

“Let’s just move away from the sound.”

“Harry, how long has it been since you dropped the Powder?”

“I don’t know.”

“You mean how long has it been since my idiot brother knocked it out of Harry’s hands, don’t you, Hermione?”

“No, I didn’t mean that at all.”

“Let’s go this way.”

“We’re not going that way, George.”

“Why not?”

“That’s toward the noise.”

“I haven’t heard it in awhile.”

(long, painful moan)

“Oh…fuck me.”

“Harry!”

“You were just cussing, right? You weren’t actually asking her to-”

“Ron, be serious.”

“I am.”

“I know, that’s what’s so sad about it. Besides, she’s my girlfriend. I can ask her to fu-”

“Look, we’re panicking for no reason.”

“No reason! George-”

“Fred! That was FRED!”

“Whatever! The point is we’re locked in. That means someone is holding us here and…Harry…Your hands are suddenly cold and wet.”

“I’m not touching you, Ron.”

(long moan, right next to Ron, who now screams like a five year old girl)

“Ahhhhhhh! Get it off me! Get it off me!”

(wrestling)

“It’s big, whatever it is.”

“Wet, too. And cold.”

“It’s a…It’s a…”

(Fred and George laugh)

“It’s an inferi doll. Must've been left over from Halloween!”

“George, take off the animation charm.”

(all is quiet)

“I’m going to kill you, Fred, George. I’m going to kill you both, as soon as we can see again.”

“Come on, Ron. You got something out of it.”

“Fred’s right. You got a kiss from Hermione, and you got fondled by Harry.”

“Shut up, George, that’s not funny!”

“Sure it is, Ron.”

“Cut him some slack, George. Can’t you see he’s feeling vulnerable? And after that incident with Harry, perhaps a little confused?”

“Nothing a few minutes alone behind the counter with Hermione can’t cure, brother.”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about!”

“Quiet, Harry, George!”

“Say, is that Hermione’s cheeks I see glowing red in the dark?”

(laughter)
(end laughter due to grunts of pain)

“What’d you do that for?”

“Hey, look…I think…I think I see you.”

“Yeah, faint but there.”

“We are still alive,” said Fred.

“But they’re not,” said Harry.

As if a gigantic fan had been turned on to clear the dust from the room, the dust cleared, bringing light with it. The five of them were in the middle of the room, in a tight mass, but they were not alone.

(slurp, slop, draaaaaag, thump)

And this time, the noises were not made from dolls....

Authors note: This is in answer to the “In The Darkness” writing challenge at the HP Fan Fic Archive http://www.silverwhisps.com/fanficarchive/ This is just intended to be something light-hearted to have fun with. The Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ron subtext is all done in fun, so don’t take it personally. Just have fun with the story.

PS-The noises at the end (since this confuses people so much J) were made by real inferi, not the dolls.