Still Waiting

AN- I'm hurting. My boyfriend just broke it off because he knew he didn't have enough time for a serious relationship. Like Ginny, I understand why he did it, and I agree with it, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. So of course, I did what I always seem to do when I'm hurt. I grabbed some food and a box of tissues and began writing. This is just what came out.

Disclaimer- It isn't mine

Ginny Weasley always seemed to be waiting.

She'd waited for years to go to Hogwarts, was the one most anxious to go, and had been the last one to actually be old enough. She had waited for years before she had been able to come out of her shell and really open up to people.

And she'd waited for years for Harry Potter.

Her mother had always told her that the right guy would come along someday. “Just be patient,” She always used to tell Ginny when her daughter was upset about her romantic life, or lack thereof. “It'll happen for you, you just have to wait.”

Well, the waiting had taken years, but it had paid off. She had waited for Harry Potter, and was now, once again, waiting. Because as much as it had seemed like they were perfect together, he'd broken things off with her at the end of last year to go chasing after Voldemort.

And she knew logically that his decision made sense. She had to stay at school and at least complete her sixth year at school, and she knew that she didn't want a long-distance relationship. Girlfriends demanded attention, and it was attention that Harry couldn't give her right then. A relationship with Harry would only lead to her waiting for a letter from him, or waiting for news of his safety. Ginny knew she didn't want that.

So if she knew, then why did it still hurt so much?

She'd run through a box of tissues, and her face was still a mess. She felt sick to her stomach, and even worse, she wasn't crying over Dumbledore. She was crying over something far less important to the world at large. Crying over something that she couldn't really change.

But, bloody hell, did it have to hurt so much?

“Gin?” Hermione peeked through the curtains surrounding her bed and studied her blotchy face and messy hair. “Oh, Ginny.” Gratefully, Ginny accepted her closest friend's comfort until the tears wouldn't come anymore.

“He didn't want to do it.” She murmured into Hermione's shoulder, and Hermione turned to the nightstand in search of another box of tissues. “I could tell he didn't want to.”

“Of course not, Gin.” Hermione muttered distractedly, now conjuring the much-needed tissues. “He adored you. But it really wasn't fair on you or him.”

Ginny choked back more tears, but found herself crying again. “I know that. I know that he'd just worry about me more if we were still together, and I know that he has to leave and I have to stay, and I understand why he did it! I get it!” Ginny paused, trying to find a way to explain her emotions. “But it still hurts.”

She spent that night crying over Harry and their lost relationship, and remembering every kiss, compliment, and shared moment. Each memory brought a fresh wave a tears and, at the same time, a slight sense of relief. It felt like she was bleeding out the poison.

Ginny decided, as she remembered all of those moments, and remembered the boy she had fallen for, that she would wait as long as it took for Harry to be able to spend time with her.

And she did wait. After Harry left that summer, she spent every day waiting for Hedwig to visit with a letter, or expecting him to walk in the Burrow's front door. Every time she lost her hope, she remembered how he had tasted, remembered how good she felt in his arms, and she resolved her decision. She'd wait as long as it took.

“And what if he doesn't come back?” Draco asked her one day on Christmas break. Harry had sent Draco to the Burrow for protection mid-summer, and Draco had been staying with the Weasleys ever since. He and Ginny had eventually become increasingly close, and Ginny would even go so far as to say that Draco was now one of her best friends. He knew her fears, secrets, and dreams, and she knew his.

Ginny was frightened to find that she didn't have a reply for that.

“Or what if he comes back, and isn't the same as he was before he left?” There was something about the way Draco said that…something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Pushing the discomfort she felt under his silver gaze aside, Ginny shrugged indifferently.

“It won't matter if he's changed. His feelings will still be the same.” This time, Ginny knew what was in those gray eyes at her last argument. Defeat and disappointment.

Had Draco been hoping for more than friendship? Was that why he had asked?

But no. She was saving herself for Harry.

And when Harry, Hermione, and her brother had shown up on Christmas Eve, with presents for all and a few new scars, Ginny had never been so happy. She had spent that night dancing around as she picked up and decorated the house.

But Draco was right. Harry had changed. His eyes were dull and bleak, like they had seen too much and forgotten too little. His face was harder and thinner, worn from the months spent away from solid meals and the comforts of home.

All three members of the trio had changed, and Ginny saw the change in Hermione later on that night, when she had mentioned what Draco had said, and how she was afraid that Harry's feelings had changed for her.

“Well, of course all of us have changed.” Hermione agreed, her voice heavy. “War and responsibility can do that to you.”

“Are you saying I'm irresponsible?” Ginny asked, irritated. Hermione had always made her feel inferior, and this new, calm demeanor didn't help.

“No, I'm saying you're immature.” Hermione stated, rising from the bed again to finish unpacking her things. She must have felt Ginny's angry glare burning into her back, because without turning around she added, “Oh, don't act like it's such a bad thing.” A frown made Hermione's face even more tired and worn. “I'd give anything to have that back. It's something you're constantly trying to lose when your immature, and something you wish you could regain when you realize how difficult maturity is.” She offered the smaller girl a wane smile and finished her packing, then climbed into bed and was immediately asleep, leaving Ginny to think over everything she'd said.

“I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting him to stay, but it's not fair that he has to leave again so soon.” Ginny complained, flopping down on the nearest kitchen chair. Draco slowly sank into his own seat and lazily set his head down on one arm.

“You're right, it isn't fair.” He muttered, his expression unreadable.

“I just…it seems like I'm always waiting to get what I want, and I don't know if the waiting is worth it.”

Draco seemed to think this over for a while, frowning as he stared out the kitchen window over the sink to the winter wonderland outside. “Did you enjoy it while you had it?” He asked, after a moment of silence.

“Yes.” Ginny answered, never hesitating.

“Was it worth all the waiting, and the hurt you felt after it?” Draco asked, his eyes still outside the window and not meeting hers.

“Yeah…yeah, it was.” Ginny murmured, remembering all of the times she'd laughed when she'd been with Harry. At least she no longer began crying at the memories. In some ways, the end of a relationship was like the loss of a person. Sure, it hurt to lose someone you loved, but the time you had with them made the pain of their passing worth it.

“Then it was worth the wait.” Draco announced, his eyes now looking into hers, but sad and detached.

And Ginny realized with a start that Draco was waiting for her like she was waiting for Harry. He really thought that she was worth the wait, even though she was already waiting for someone else.

Draco made to leave, but just as he pushed his chair back Ginny sprung to her feet and gripped his wrist. “Wait!”

He turned to look at her expectantly, his eyes still sad, and stood stiffly for a few moments in shock as Ginny gently pressed her lips to his. His kiss was different from Harry's, but not in a bad way.

Draco grinned as he pulled her close and held her for a moment. “Was I worth the wait?” Ginny asked, grinning herself. She hadn't been waiting for Draco, but she should have been.

“Definitely.” Draco replied, still holding her close. And Ginny decided that maybe a relationship with Draco would be worth any hurt she may feel after they broke up. Draco really did care about her, and would respect her and accept her as she was.

And sure, they might not, (and probably wouldn't) get married. But sometimes, waiting wasn't an option. She was sixteen. Ginny still had her whole life ahead of her, and perhaps putting it on hold for a boy wasn't an option anymore.

Who knew? Maybe she'd end up with Draco for good, or maybe she'd be back with Harry someday. But she wasn't going to wait for anybody.

-->