Don't Believe

I can't really believe what I was just told this morning. It can't be possible. I would've known this by now. And yet, I know, somehow, that it's true. I don't believe it, I can't believe it, but it's true; I know it is.

They told me that there was something that I needed to know, and they were to tell it to me today. Why they waited until today, my 17th birthday, of all days, to tell me, I don't know. I guess that it had something to do with the funeral a month or two ago. Apparently, in the will, I was to be told, on my 17th birthday, either by Dumbledore (if he was still alive) or by whoever was reading the will to me. I just can't believe what was said.

They tell you strange things happen in your life. This last month definitely ranks high on this list; in my life, that's hard to do. I drifted away from my friends, save one. She's been there for me so much; I owe her more than I owe anyone else.

I guess that there has always been a special connection between the two of us; before we even knew each other, we were each aware of the other. At first, we were just simple friends, yet as time went on, we became the closest of friends that I think is possible.

She pulls me closer to herself, temporarily derailing my train of thought. I run my fingers through her hair, noticing it seemed even more out of control than usual; not that mine could've looked much better. We stare at each other, smile, and share another kiss. God, I love her so much. I think that soon, she'll be all that I have left. I'll make sure that if that's all I can have, she will be the one that I have left.

We became even closer friends after the events of the last couple months. You may think otherwise, but it's what I think that matters. I'm the one living this. We got even closer because she wouldn't let me push her away. And now, we're out, alone, on our way to face whatever is coming. There are many things in our future that are uncertain, but we're going to meet them when they come.

My mind goes back, yet again, to what I heard this morning. I can't get that out of my mind. Despite that fact, though, I've decided I won't give up on us. She means too much to me to let anything, even this, come between us. I don't know if she will think the same way, but I can hope. Knowing what we have been like for the time we have known each other, and especially in this last month, she probably think the same way about all of this.

I turn my attention to the sleeping beauty in my arms. She fell asleep while I was lost in my thoughts. I play with her hair a bit, and I can see her smile; even though she's asleep, I can tell that she likes it. She really is beautiful; she seems so peaceful, too. I don't know how I am going to tell her what I heard this morning.

Even though I know that it is true, I cannot believe it. It's hard to believe that this girl - no, woman, I correct myself. She's legally an adult now, and after what we just did, I can't call her a girl anymore. I can't make mistakes like that, either.

I decide I'll think more about it later. I need sleep, and I should enjoy this as much as I can, because I know full well that this may never happen again. I hold her as close to me as possible, and fall asleep, peacefully.

When I wake up the next morning, I was the happiest I could possibly be. I knew that it wasn't a dream, and I could tell by the look in her eyes and her smile that she was as happy as I was. Eventually, though, we needed to get up. There were things to do.

We spent the day trying to figure out what we needed to do; there were many things, and time was of the essence, as they say. The day went by, and before I knew it, the day was over. I'd told myself many times during the day that I was going to tell her tonight, no point in trying to hide it from her.

"Hermione, I have something I need to tell you…"

"Hermione, I have something I have to tell you..."

At Harry's words, I don't know what to think. I automatically assume the worst. He seemed distant. Did he regret last night? He probably does, and that's why he was so distant. I try to stop myself from thinking like this, but I can't. I don't think straight.

He continues on, and assures me that it isn't what I thought it was. But there's something else. What is it? I need to know. Right now. If I don't know, I'm going to go insane. I need to know what he needs to tell me. It can't be good. Did something happen to him? To us? To someone we care about? I know yesterday he was told something, but I don't know what. That's what makes me worry. Knowledge can be dangerous, but lack of knowledge can be fatal. Or, in this case, simply drive you into insanity.

I hear him tell me everything, and I don't know what to think. For once, there's something I don't know.

We slept separate last night. I needed him by my side, but I also needed to figure out some things in my life. I needed to figure out what to do from here. Obviously, that news was a shocker, but I decided I'm not going to let it keep us apart. He means everything to me, as I know I mean to him. There's no reason that we should let this keep us apart; we've been a part of each other's lives for so long that for this to get in our way just wouldn't be right.

Then I begin to ask what people will think of us. That is, if they ever find out. It won't go over well, that's for sure. I guess that we'll find out who our real friends are when it all comes out. People will just have to accept it; we love each other too much to let other people tell us we need to be apart.

I fall asleep, though not for a while. I have a problem with sleep normally; last night was the exception. But that's because he was there with me. He isn't this time, so I have trouble falling asleep, but I do eventually. I slept dreamlessly, which was much better than I had expected. I wake up, and get up as soon as I'm fully awake.

After going through a few rooms, I didn't find him, so I laid down on the couch and fell asleep again. This time, though, it wasn't dreamless.

Ron and Ginny are mad at us, Remus disappointed, I think I can even see Lily, James, and Sirius looking down on us with a look of sadness; they never wanted this to happen. They shouldn't've kept it from us, then. If we knew before, then they wouldn't have to worry about it. We love each other too much, though. Even if it means they reject us, we'll be together. I don't care what they think.

I wake up almost scared. I walk around, looking. When I reach the kitchen, I find my brother there. I walk up behind him and give him a big hug. He turns around to look at me, and smiles.

"Harry, I'm not going to let that keep us apart. I love you."