Never Be The Guy

Jersey Princess

Rating: PG13
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 4
Published: 05/02/2006
Last Updated: 05/02/2006
Status: completed

Sirius and James decide to pair their two best friends, Lily and Remus, up together because neither of them have dates for the Valentine’s Dance. But what happens when Lily and Remus fall for their friends? And then what crazy event ensues when Remus gets blamed for something he didn’t do? AU LJBFF Eventual R/S

Chapters

1. Never Be The Guy

1. Never Be The Guy

This is based on Holly…I'm the One by Son of Dork. I thought it was perfect for an LJBFF, and then realised it's good for R/S too…

Disclaimer: I don't own the song. Or the characters. I only own the basic plot and the things you don't recognise. And guess what—Marisa Phelps and Sandra Avers (from Help! We're All Happy Teenagers!) get cameos!! And Jamesina is the name of my Dad's yacht, w00t!!

Remember that's it's slash, okay?

Also remember that I truly hate R/L. It was just that S/L was more horrid.

Two words: No Peter. (Two more: Thank goodness. lol ^_^)

Summary:

Sirius and James decide to pair their two best friends, Lily and Remus, up together because neither of them have dates for the Valentine's Dance. But what happens when Lily and Remus fall for their friends? And then what crazy event ensues when Remus gets blamed for something he didn't do? AU LJBFF

Please R/R

---

Never Be The Guy

I'm hiding in a bush outside your window

I'm feeling sick and numb

Fed all my best lines to my best friend

So he could be the one

But I'm a jerk because it worked

And I've just realised what I've done

Guess I'll never be the guy to get the girl

Set it up so that he could rock your world

Promise me when you scream you fake it

Holly I'm the one you should be dating

Seeing you with him is so frustrating

I taught him everything he knows

You fell for every single line I gave him / He's just a fraud coz I'm the guy who made him

I know that I'm dumb

But Holly…I'm the one

---

Remus and Lily.

Together. Kissing.

Now that was a novel idea.

Sirius woke up with a snap and shoved his curtains out of the way. Remus's bed was empty and James had his curtains around his. James and Sirius were infamous for waking up late, but Remus was an early riser. Like Lily, their other best friend.

He thought about his dream. It had been before Valentine's Day. The two of them (Lily and Remus) had been going together. He knew neither of them had dates in real life.

He grabbed a pillow and whinged it at James's bed. It fell through the join in the curtains and Sirius heard a satisfying thump as it landed at its destination on James's head. The other boy groaned and rolled over. “What, Pads?” he grumbled, and yawned loudly.

“You know the Valentine's Dance is only in a few weeks and Lilykins is miserable coz no-one's asked her yet? Well, Moonykins is upset, too, though he's not showing it.”

“Where are you going with this? And why did you wake me up for it?”

Sirius ignored the second question. “Prongs, we should make them go together!! I mean, you've got Chloe and I'm going with Marisa. They don't have anyone, so they can go to the Dance as a couple!” he squealed, excitedly.

“But won't it be odd; I mean, they're our two best friends and they've never shown any sign in liking each other before. We don't even know if they're the right type for each other.”

“It'll be fine. I'll work on Moony, you work on Lils, okay?”

James shrugged.

“Now, we'd better go to breakfast.”

---

Lily and Remus were sitting at the breakfast table, eating and talking about their DADA assessment due in Friday, when James and Sirius bounced in. James sat down next to Lily and piled his plate high with bacon and sausages. Sirius sat opposite James, next to Remus, and automatically pulled food off both James and Remus's plates rather than out of the serving dishes. Remus made a mild exclamation of complaint, but they were all used to it by now.

“So, Moony, have you got a date for Valentine's yet?” Sirius asked through a mouthful of mangled sausage, so it came out as gobble-de-gook.

Remus sighed. “Firstly, do try to swallow before you ask me things. I really do not want to see what you are eating and how many times you chewed it. Secondly, no, I do not have a date and I really do not want one because Valentine's Day is a scam that is generally for people like you and James. Speaking of you, I hope you aren't hoping to go with that bitch Marisa. I'm almost positive that she has ulterior motives for dating you.”

Sirius huffed and turned away from Remus. Remus was forever bringing this up. Remus put out his hand and touched Sirius's shoulder tentatively. “I'm sorry,” he began, but was interrupted by Sirius.

“Lily, are you going with anyone?” he asked her, to change the subject.

Lily shook her head. “Nobody has asked me.”

James had the light-bulb look about him, and in that moment, Sirius knew that his friend was going to steal his show. “You should go together!” he exclaimed. “That way, nobody would be on their own!”

Remus started protesting. “You know, I don't think that would be—” but he was silenced by Sirius's hand over his mouth.

“Would you rather I paired you with Sandra Avers?” Sirius asked, almost menacingly.

Remus shook his head pitifully.

“Well then, it's sorted! James, you take Lily dress-shopping on tomorrow's Hogsmeade visit, I'll take Moony robe-shopping…” he grinned pleasantly. “I have to buy a new set of dress-robes anyway…I was thinking dark red, what do you think Moony?”

Remus shrugged. He tried to reply but Sirius's hand was still covering his mouth. Sirius seemed to realise this and took his hand away. “I think it would look okay,” Remus said.

“I was going to wear some sort of dark colour; a dark blue or black or something,” James said. Sirius nodded appreciatively.

“You could get Chloe to wear white! Black and white would look great!”

The two boys started talking about dress-robes, leaving Remus and Lily looking rather stunned.

Lily said thoughtfully, “They're not usually this gay, are they…?”

“No,” Remus said cheerfully, “they really are,” at which point both boys turned to look at him. He smiled innocently and they turned back to their conversation.

“Are you really okay with this arrangement?” Lily asked nervously.

“It's fine, don't worry about it.”

“But I know we wouldn't be each others' first choices…”

Remus shrugged, and then grinned cheekily. “Hey, anything's better than Sandra…” to which Lily raised an eyebrow.

Quite coincidentally, Chloe and Sandra (who was Chloe's best friend) came over to their table from the Hufflepuff one. “Hey Remus,” Sandra said with an innocent smile. “Are you going to the Valentines Dance?”

“Yeah, I'm going with Lily here,” Remus replied.

Sandra turned to Lily and glared. She clenched her fist in a threatening way. Then she turned back to Remus like nothing had happened and said, “Are you sure, Remy?”

Remus flinched at the nickname. Lily giggled. “Sandra, I think he said no,” she said as kindly as she could manage. “I'm sorry.”

Sandra huffed and stormed off. Chloe sighed. “I think you're making a mistake, Remus,” she said, as if Lily wasn't there. Then she said bye to James and ran after Sandra.

“That was odd.”

“Ah well, Lily's better than her, right, `Remy'?” Sirius smirked.

Remus glared.

---

“Here, try this.” Sirius threw a pale green robe at Remus.

Remus looked at the horrible thing, with its lace and fur, in disgust and threw it back. “No way.” He saw one. “What about that?”

Sirius didn't look at it, knowing Remus's taste in clothes. He turned to another rack. “What about this?” It was a midnight blue colour. There were no frills or fur anywhere; it just looked like a normal robe.

“It's okay,” Remus said, begrudgingly. He took it and went over to the changing rooms, Sirius following. He changed quickly and pulled back the curtain. “What do you think?”

Sirius nodded. “Perfect! All the girls are gonna swoon! Now, we need to find you shoes…”

Remus had pulled the curtains closed, discarded the robe quickly and had started tugging on his own clothes when he saw the price-tag of the robe. “Merlin!” he cried out. “That's expensive! Sirius, I don't have the money to buy this!”

Sirius poked his head around the curtain. “It's okay, I'll pay for it.”

Remus shook his head. He was standing there in unbuttoned, faded blue jeans with holes in them and greyish trainers. He had several scars spanning his stomach. Sirius widened his eyes; he hadn't seen them before. He reached out and his fingers grazed one.

“Where did you get those?” he asked.

Remus bit his lip and jerked away from Sirius's fingers. “Don't ask,” he said softly. He grabbed his grey T-shirt and pulled it over his head quickly. He buttoned up his jeans and grabbed his old brown jumper and yanked it on. “Anyway,” he said quickly, “you shouldn't have to pay for it. I'll find a way—”

Sirius covered his mouth, again. “I'll pay,” he said sternly. Remus left it at that.

They left the shop after paying for Remus's robe and a garnet-coloured one that Sirius found for himself, and then Sirius bundled Remus into the shoe shop, where they spent another age looking for shoes that would look right with their robes (reminding Remus of his and Lily's conversation about James and Sirius being gay).

When they got back to school, Lily and James were already back with their stuff. James and Sirius took no time in showing each other what they'd bought, leaving their other two companions looking bemused.

“I swear there's something camp about them,” Lily said, voicing Remus's thoughts. “James was more feminine when we shopped than I was.”

“Sirius was the same. Maybe we should buy them dresses as a hint?”

He'd meant it as a joke but even after he'd said it, he knew it would be funny. Lily grinned. “Good idea. Let's do it.”

---

“ `To Jamesina and Siria',” James read off the card, “ `here are some pretty dresses for you to wear. Lots of love, Remus and Lily xxx'.”

“I think they're trying to tell us something,” Sirius said, confused, looking at the two pink dresses covered in frills.

James shrugged. “Oh well. Let's give them to Chloe and Marisa. After all, the dresses are pretty enough.”

“But the pink will clash with my dress robes!!” Sirius exclaimed, horrified.

“Well, tell her she can't wear it to the dance,” James suggested. “Or give it to Sandra.”

“From Moony,” Sirius added with an evil grin. They left the room the dresses in their hands.

Remus and Lily, who were hiding under Remus's bed, groaned. “It backfired!” Remus wailed. “They didn't get it…Sa-ndra!” He put his head in his hands.

“Oh well…”

---

Remus and Lily started spending more and more time together. Unbeknownst to the other two, they weren't dating, but just pretending for the sake of their friends.

One day, when they were alone in the boys' dorm, Remus brought up the conversation they'd talked about on the day the dating had been arranged.

“You said something about us not being each others' first choices. Who did you want to ask you?”

Lily blushed. “Oh, it doesn't matter, it was no-one really…”

“Lily, tell me,” he said kindly.

Lily bit her lip, and started babbling, “Oh, it's just, he could do so much better than that awful girl!! She taints him, she talks too much about nothing of any interest…”

“Sirius?” Remus asked softly, almost unhappily. Of course she would like Sirius. Every girl liked Sirius.

“No!” Lily said, shocked. “Though Marisa is awful. I meant James!”

Remus widened his eyes in surprise and a bit of happiness. “You think Chloe is awful?”

“Yes! She's so unintelligent and unintelligible and doesn't know anything about anything other than make-up, and spends her time with that horrid girl Sandra who bugs you incessantly when we all know you're not interested in her…who are you interested in?”

Remus blinked at the speed of the conversation change. “Uh…I'm not really interested in anyone…”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Lily said. “There's someone you like. I can see it in your eyes.”

“No, honestly!” Remus exclaimed, almost begging.

“I mean, c'mon, it's not like it's James…” Lily said. “I mean, I'd realise if it was.”

Remus's brow furrowed. “Are you saying that you think I'm gay?”

Lily smiled. “How do I know? You could be straight, gay or bi for all I know. And I wouldn't care if you were. I'm just saying that I know you're not into James.”

Remus shuddered. “That would be horrible, if we both were.” He stuck his tongue out in a grimace. “Anyway, I know I am not into you or James.” He looked out of the window and sat like that for a few moments, thinking.

Lily grinned mischievously. “What about gay-boy?” she teased. Remus showed no signs of hearing her. “Remus!” She waved her hand in front of his face.

He blinked. “What?”

“Who were you thinking about?”

He chuckled. “I was watching the Quidditch training,” he told her.

Lily looked out of the window. She could see the red of the Gryffindor robes even from here. She could work out where James was, from the glinting of the glasses that he always wore, and smiled. Then she looked around the pitch, and spotted something. Her breath caught in her throat. “Someone just fell off a broom! I can't tell who it is, but it's quite a distance! They're still falling!”

Remus looked out and his eyes widened, his improved eyesight (due to the wolf) picking out the longish black hair. “It's Sirius! He never falls off his broom!” He saw the height from which the boy was falling and knew that Sirius would never survive. He also knew that James never had a teacher around or allowed spectators. And one of the rules was that no wands were allowed on the pitch, in case they were broken or used for malicious means. Sirius was going to die.

He took no time in deciding what to do. He threw open the window, grabbed his wand, and bellowed out the strongest levitating spell he knew. He watched the bloodred spark shoot across the entire Hogwarts grounds in .6 of a second and surround Sirius, suspending him just a metre from the ground.

Lily let out the breath she'd been holding and looked at Remus in awe. “I get it,” she said softly as the boy rushed to the door.

“What?” he asked, turning to her.

“You love Sirius,” she whispered.

Remus smiled softly. “I know,” he replied, and then was gone, leaving Lily to stare out the window in shock.

---

Remus raced down to the Quidditch pitch as fast as he could. When he got there, someone had summoned Madam Pomfrey. The young woman was walking around Sirius in a circle, trying to work out how to get him down.

“It's the strongest levitation spell I've ever seen,” she was saying. “I've never seen it before. And the person cast it from quite far away. They must love you very much, whoever it was, because long-distance occurrences of spells that are only supposed to be short-distance are very rare and only happen when nothing else will do. Until someone lets you down, you're stuck.”

Sirius was awake, Remus could see. But he was trembling. Remus had never seen Sirius tremble before. The boy was terrified, obviously.

“James!” Remus said, breathlessly. “What happened? I saw him fall, and there was this flash of light…Sirius never falls!”

“A rogue Bludger,” James replied. “It hit the back of his head, took him down. I'm bloody happy that someone out there cast that spell. The guy would be dead otherwise. It was obviously intended to kill him. I wonder who would want to kill him.”

Remus nodded. He turned to Sirius. “You okay?” he asked softly.

Sirius smiled softly. “Yeah,” he replied. “Thanks to whoever that idiot is who loves me.”

Suddenly, Remus was shoved out of the way by Marisa Phelps, Sirius's girlfriend and one of the people Remus hated most.

“Sirius, I'm so glad my spell saved you!” she cried out.

Her spell? How did she even know about the spell anyway?

“I'm glad, too, baby,” Sirius said. “Can you get me down?”

“Of course!” Marisa said. She cast a mental spell (Remus recognised the wand movements as the simple levitation spell they'd all been taught in First Year), and nothing happened. Her brow furrowed. She cast a different mental spell. Again, nothing.

“What spell did you use?” Madam Pomfrey asked, suspicious.

“Oh, I don't remember!” Marisa said. “But I'm sure it was something simple.”

“Then it wasn't your spell that saved Sirius,” Madam Pomfrey said. “It was a highly complex spell that even I can't undo.”

Marisa looked surprised. “Oh.”

“Did anyone see where the Bludger went?” Madam Pomfrey went on to ask.

Remus looked around. “Oh, it's over there!” He ran over and picked up the dormant Bludger.

He turned back to see Marisa's eyes narrow. He wondered what was on with that.

He walked back to Madam Pomfrey and held out the Bludger. The moment the nurse tried to touch it, a blue light appeared around it, and the Bludger leapt out of his hands and hurtled towards Sirius. Remus looked confused. He turned his head to look at the nurse, to see that she'd moved and Marisa was where she'd been standing before. Suddenly, he felt something enter his mind. He tried to blink, but he couldn't move. As quick as it had happened, the thing in his head left and he was left with a raging headache. He hadn't been able to stop the Legilimens, whoever it had been.

And at that moment, Marisa yelled out the spell he'd cast on Sirius, which stopped the Bludger, and Remus realised who the Legilimens was.

“He cast the spell!” Marisa said. “He cast it!”

Remus bit his lip and his brow furrowed. What was she talking about? She hadn't found out, had she? How had she? Would she tell Sirius that he loved him?

“He cast the spell on the Bludger!”

Oh. How terribly wrong.

“No I didn't,” he said automatically.

“Then how come you're the only one who can touch the Bludger?” Marisa asked. She put out her hand to touch it and the same blue light leapt from it. “See? You're the only one. You had to have cast it.”

“No, I really didn't. I would never harm a friend.”

“You had to have!”

“No, I seriously didn't! I don't even know what the spell is!”

“So you say,” Marisa accused.

“Mr Lupin, is this correct?” Madam Pomfrey asked him.

“I swear I didn't cast the spell!” he exclaimed.

“He's lying, he's the only one to touch the Bludger!”

“Miss Phelps has a point, explain that, Mr Lupin.”

Remus shook his head. “I didn't do it!” he said. “I've been in my room all day!”

“Mr Lupin, I'm asking you once more, did you cast the spell?”

His body was suddenly not under his control. He was confused. He tried to move his head, but found he couldn't. His mouth opened of its own accord. He wasn't doing this…why was he talking? What was he saying?

His voice came out of his mouth. He wasn't telling himself to speak, so why was he? His hands put themselves on his hips in a very feminine position. He never did that.

“Yes, I did it. I did it because everyone's so stupid around here, but he's the most out of everyone. I hate him so much.”

Everyone gasped at Remus's `confession' and they all glared at him. A few people tried to hit him, some successfully passing it off as they `tripped'.

“Right then, this way,” Madam Pomfrey said, and walked towards the school. Remus's legs took him there of their own decision. They walked through the halls until they got to Dumbledore's office. The password (“Jellybeans.”) was said, and they went up the spiral staircase.

When they were allowed in, Madam Pomfrey said, “This pupil just tried to kill another student. He lied about his not doing it, but eventually gave in and told the truth.”

Dumbledore looked shocked. “Who was it?”

“Sirius Black,” Madam Pomfrey replied.

Dumbledore looked confused. He looked at Remus. “Remus, you're not so stupid to harm a friend, are you?”

Remus tried to shake his head, but something was stopping him. “I'd do anything I could!! I hate this school, it's stupid and you're stupid and I'm going to embrace the dark side!”

Dumbledore's forehead creased. “Mr Lupin, what happens to you every month?”

Remus, of course, knew the answer. But the person controlling him didn't. “I leave school because my family is pathetic and always need healing!”

“Good grief, Poppy!” Dumbledore exclaimed. “The boy's under the Imperious Curse!”

It was Madam Pomfrey's turn to be confused. “What do you mean, Professor?”

“He has no idea about anything! He's being told to say these things!” He did a silent spell, and suddenly Remus's legs gave way and he collapsed on the floor in front of him. He vomited twice, before saying croakily,

“Professor Dumbledore, you have to believe me! I never did it, I swear! I would never hurt Sirius!”

Dumbledore nodded his head. “I know you wouldn't, Remus. But who would, and why would they curse you?”

“Someone…someone used Legilimency to get into my head, too. They found out a bit of information…”

“Tell me what happened.”

Remus bit his lip. “I saw Sirius falling off his broom during Quidditch practice, so I ran down from the dormitory to where he was. He was hovering. A rogue Bludger had hit him, and someone had cast a spell to stop him falling. Then Marisa turned up and said it had been her, but she had no idea what the spell was. She cast two silent spells on Sirius, but neither did anything.”

“What were the wand movements of these?” Dumbledore interrupted.

“Well, one was Wingardium Leviosa, and the other went like this.” He flicked his wrist up and down and did an anti-clockwise horizontal circle.

Dumbledore nodded. “I know what spell that was. Go on.”

“Well, they asked if someone could see the Bludger, and I picked it up, and Marisa looked really surprised. I tried to pass the Bludger to Madam Pomfrey but this blue light appeared around it and it leapt out of my hands and tried to hit Sirius again. I turned to look at Madam Pomfrey, and someone entered my head using Legilimency—I've never taken Occlumency and so I didn't know how to get rid of them before they found out about my Lycanthropy, which it doesn't seem they did—, and then Marisa used that spell on the Bludger to stop it. And then she accused me of cursing the Bludger.”

“Remus, do you have a strong friendship with Sirius?” Dumbledore asked.

“Well, sort of…”

“If he was hurt, would you do anything for him?”

Remus nodded.

“How far away from Sirius were you when he was playing Quidditch?”

“I was in the Dorm, Professor, by the window.”

“Did you happen to see Sirius fall?”

“Yes.”

“Did you, by any chance, see who cast the spell?”

Remus thought for a moment. He could say yes…after all, it was kind of the truth…

“Yes,” he said softly.

Dumbledore waited patiently.

“I cast it. But only to save him.”

“You must really care for him,” Dumbledore said. “That spell wouldn't have worked over that distance just for anyone, you know. Anyway, the second spell Marisa cast—it was a revealing spell. She did it so she could see which person cast the spell on Sirius—the only one who could pick up the Bludger. And Miss Phelps has been a Legilimens for some time, so it's only understandable that she would be able to get some information out of you, such as the spell you used so it would look like she did it. Poppy, would you mind bringing Miss Phelps up here? It seems we have some talking to do. I believe it was her Bludger.”

“But why would Sirius's girlfriend was to kill him?”

“I do not know. We shall see when she arrives, shan't we.”

---

“It can't be,” Sirius said softly to James. They were in their Dorm. Lily was back in her own, so they had it to themselves. “I know Moony would never do that. And he'd never say those things; it's so unlike him. I know he doesn't hate me. And he never puts his hands on his hips—it's such a girly thing.”

James nodded. “We'll see what happens when he comes out. Anyway, I have something to tell you, a kind of confession.”

“Well, go on.”

“I…I think I like Lily.”

“Like-like?”

“Yeah…Chloe and I were having an argument about how I always seem to talk about Lily…we broke up…and I realised, I do talk about Lily an awful lot when I'm around Chloe or other girls…”

“What's the problem?”

“Firstly, she's my best friend, and secondly, we set her up with Remus!”

“Moony'll understand.”

“No, it's okay. I'll wait until after the dance.”

Sirius nodded. “I wonder why Marisa was so adamant that Moony had done it. It was so odd, having your girlfriend sell in your best mate…”

“Who would you side with? Moony or Marisa, if the time came to it?”

“That's obvious; friends over dates, right?”

“Even if they tried to kill you?”

“I'm sure he didn't do it,” Sirius said, rather adamantly. “For people in Moony's position, a friend is for forever.”

James grinned. “Anyway, sometimes you get crushes on your friends, so they become your dates…hey, you know what would be cool? If Lily likes me, and you and Remus like each other, haha, and then we can go on double-dates!”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Not you, too. I already get enough stick from Moony saying I'm gay, and I suppose I sort-of am, a bit, but I don't need you to start!”

“Huh, was that a confession?”

Sirius shrugged. “Anyway, Moony's kind-of cute…if I was fully gay, yeah, I'd go for him, probably.”

“That's cool. I always thought you'd be good together anyway. But is Moony gay?”

Sirius shrugged. “No idea.”

There came a tentative knock at the door. “Hey guys,” Remus said nervously, poking his head around the door.

Sirius and James turned to him silently.

“Look, I'm sorry, and I didn't do it, I swear it, and I don't hate you, Sirius…”

James spoke up, quietly. “Come in.” Remus crept around the door like a little boy. “A little further forward.” He did as he was told, looking at his feet in an ashamed way. Then James and Sirius looked at each other. James nodded his head slightly, and Sirius flung himself off his bed and tackled Remus, bringing him down under him. It was an embrace of sorts, and Remus felt cared for, in that moment.

Sirius pulled back after a few seconds. “Of course you didn't do it, you dick. And I know you couldn't hate me. I'm too loveable!”

Remus half laughed. Then he bit his lip and said quietly, “I know who did it.”

“Who?” James asked.

“Sirius, I'm sorry, but…Marisa did it. Dumbledore's talking to her now. She confessed automatically…it was the Imperious Curse that someone put on me, they don't know who it was—not Marisa…but…” He brought his hand up to his mouth and chewed his thumb. He looked like he was going to cry. In fact, he was crying; just a bit.

Sirius looked pensive. “Why would Marisa want to kill me?”

“I don't know, but the thing is, she tried to,” James said. “And I swear it, when I find out who it was that saved you, I am going to give them a big hug and you are going to give them a big kiss on the mouth, Sirius.”

Sirius nodded. “And that's a promise,” he added.

---

A week after Sirius's confession that he was definitely bi, and the afternoon of the Valentine's Dance (not on Valentine's Day but two days prior), Marisa came up to him.

“I'm sorry,” she began, but Sirius cut her off.

“Why? Why did you do it?”

Marisa bit her lip, and then it escaped. “Because I was so jealous!” she wailed.

“Jealous of what? It's not like I was cheating on you.”

“You and…you and…you and Remus!” she cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sirius was taken-aback. “What?”

“Sirius, you can't think we're all oblivious. The boy may not have realised it, but I know…I mean, you can't expect me to sit quietly while you two touch each other every five seconds. Don't think I don't see you. You've been doing it since Third Year.”

“But…but all of us are touchy-feely in the Marauders…” Sirius said. He was shocked at this new revelation.

“Not the way you and Remus are! I mean, James never touches Remus. He touches Lily like that. I mean, honestly, they should so go out—they're perfect for each other. But…I can't believe that you and…”

Sirius slumped on a nearby seat. “Merlin,” he whispered.

“It…it doesn't bother me, you know,” she said softly. “It shocked me, and that's why I reacted that way…I'm truly sorry about that…but you know, I don't think I can date a gay guy. Well, I know I can't date a gay guy. So…I'm sorry. Bye.” She turned and walked off, leaving Sirius to get acquainted with his ex's words.

Then he decided something. He had to talk to James, and fast.

---

“James!” he yelled up the boys' stairs. “Prongs!”

A younger kid spoke up nervously. “He's not there, he said he was going to the Astronomy Tower…”

Sirius wasted no time in giving the kid a thumbs-up and turning back the way he'd come, running all the way.

He knocked on the door to the Tower. “Prongs? Prongs, you in there?”

“Yeah,” a gloomy voice replied.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Sirius asked.

James shrugged. “It's just…how can I ask Lily? I mean, what if she doesn't like me that way?”

Sirius sighed. “James, I'm sure she likes you. Anyway, go to the Dance and we'll see what happens, okay?” He sat on the sill and looked out.

“What's up?” James asked. “You looked like you lost a Galleon and found a Knut.”

“Marisa just told me why she did it. And broke up with me,” Sirius said softly. He began to retell the tale.

“So you're seriously in love with Moony? Jeez,” James said. “Well, that wasn't too much of a surprise coz you already said you fancied him and I always suspected it anyway. Like I said before, I thought you'd be good together.”

Sirius gaped at him. “Seriously?”

“Well, what Marisa said is right; I mean, you do touch each other every possible minute…”

“Oh Merlin…” Sirius said again. It was too much for him to take. He tried to make a joke of it. “So you're in love with your best friend and I'm in love with mine and neither of them knows?” He grew serious again. “So what are we going to do about it?”

“Well, we're doing sweet FA, sitting here on our arses talking about nothing in particular…let's at least go back and get changed. The dance is soon.”

They left the room, both looking very much like people who had been told something they really didn't want to hear.

---

That night, the four Marauders walked down. Somehow, Lily had been persuaded into a strapless white dress, the bodice covered with a thin layer of translucent white material which cascaded down to the floor over the skirt—this was covered with white lilies (over both sides of the bodice) that spilled down one side of the skirt. It also had a little jacket made of the same material. James had gone in black, as he'd said he would, but it was more for mourning his break-up and his desperation of his feelings for Lily. Remus and Sirius were both going in the robes they'd bought—the garnet and midnight blue ones.

Chloe and Sandra, of course, were wearing those horrid pink dresses that James and `Remus' had given them (and looking pretty pleased about it, too).

Sirius took one look around and already the other Marauders knew he wanted to bolt. After ten minutes, he said, “I'm going back. I can't take it.”

James looked out at the dance floor wistfully. Remus looked from James to Lily. Then he took one of James's hands, and one of Lily's, and put them together. “Have fun,” he said. “I'm going back to the Dorm. I'll see if there's anything I can do.”

James nodded. “Oh, by the way, he broke up with Marisa, just to let you know.”

The relief on Remus's face was obvious. “Thank goodness,” he said, and he was gone.

“Why was he so happy?” James asked Lily, leading her out to the dance floor.

“Because he's in love,” Lily replied.

James beamed. “Excellent!”

Lily frowned.

“I mean, Sirius worked out today that he is, also…”

“Oh,” she replied, understanding. “Well, I can understand the `excellent' then…oh, another thing. Remus cast the spell that saved Sirius. I was there.”

“Ooooh. Excellent,” James said, grinning.

Lily nodded. “Yeah. I'd hate to think what had happened if they weren't so deeply in love with each other…”

James nodded. “They'd probably die without each other.” He had a thought. “Why are we dancing?” he asked softly.

“Because Remus practically forced us to?”

James smiled softly. “How about this?” he whispered, and kissed her.

---

Remus hurried up the stairs, his robes flying around him. He jumbled his way through the portrait, practically yelling the password (“Florence Nightingale.”) at her as he did so. He raced up the stairs, through the door and promptly collapsed on his bed; the one to the right—if you were looking in the room—of the door (the one right in front being Sirius's, and the one on the left being James's).

Sirius rolled over to look at Remus. “Moony, why are you so happy?”

Remus sat up and shrugged, grinning. Then his smile dropped. “Oh, I have to tell you something.”

“That sounds ominous.”

Remus ignored it and continued with, “It was me. I cast the spell that saved you.”

“Really? You mean, you cast it from…here?”

“Yeah,” Remus said, softly, looking out the window. “I mean, Lily saw you fall, and you're my best friend, and I really wouldn't want you hurt, ever, so I wasn't thinking, and I cast the spell, and then Marisa worked out that I did it, and used that against me, and I'm so—”

He was cut off, rather abruptly, by Sirius, who'd crossed to his friend's bed, yanked Remus to face him and then shoved his tongue in the boy's mouth.

It was odd. Remus had never tried to get a girlfriend, so he had never been kissed before. It was nice but definitely weird.

When Sirius let go of him a few moments later, Remus was stunned. “Huh?” he asked.

“I promised James that I'd give a big kiss—on the mouth—to the person who saved me, remember?”

Remus weakly nodded. He did remember it now.

“Well, thank you very much. But honestly, learn to kiss. I'm sure any girl would be better than you.”

“Sirius, anybody would be better than me. I have had no experience with love whatsoever.”

Sirius nodded. “Now, what is the real reason you came up here? Where's Lily?”

“Oh, I handed her to James. They looked pretty happy about that.”

“James is in love with Lily,” Sirius said with a shrug. “He wouldn't ask her out because he thought you liked her—you dating and all.”

Remus shook his head. “It's not her that I like.”

“Well, would I know this person?”

Remus nodded.

“Would this person fancy you back?”

Remus snorted. “I doubt it.”

“Would this person be of the female persuasion?”

Remus turned his head, smiled rather sadly at Sirius, and turned his head back to the window.

“No way!” Sirius exclaimed. “How long have you known?”

Remus smiled that same sad smile. “Since Third Year, though I kind-of suspected it before.”

Sirius chuckled. “I've known for about a week. But it took today for me to realise.”

“Seriously? You're gay? Lily and I got it right?”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yes. Don't be so excited.”

Tact had never been one of Sirius's strong points, and to see Remus look peacefully out of the window, with his chestnut hair spilling over his forehead and the moonlight reflected in his amber eyes, made him say something he'd probably never said if he'd been in his right mind otherwise. “You know, you look cute when you're thinking.”

Remus spun right round. “What did you just say?”

“Uh…you're cute?”

Remus started breathing fast, like he was about to hyperventilate. “Why?” he asked.

Sirius shrugged. “You just are. James and I discussed it sometime last week, when I realised I was kinda gay.”

There was a long pause. A long, awkward pause.

“Remus? Why did you cast that spell, when there was a chance it wouldn't work?”

Remus smiled, again. “I knew it would.”

“But it would only work if you—” Sirius broke off, his breath caught in his throat.

Remus shrugged. “There was no other hope for it. I know James never allows anyone with a wand near the ground. I knew you were too high up. I didn't want you to die.” His voice quietened down as he went.

And Sirius saw the boy in a different light.

The boy had saved his life. Not just by a spell, but he'd just realised that his whole life had been full of scheming girls trying to murder him. This was true love, he knew it.

He spun Remus around and accosted his lips again.

Remus extracted himself to breathe a few moments later. “Uh,” he said, this time.

Sirius grinned. “Ah, I love you…you're so innocent.” He ruffled Remus's hair.

Then there was silence.

The words he'd just said came back to him.

Remus looked at him with wide eyes. Sirius smiled hesitantly and leaned in to kiss Remus, again, before Remus had a chance to ask him if he'd really meant that.

But Remus wasn't really going to bother. It was amazing; the boy who he loved loved him back.

Sirius Black was gay, and loved him.

It looked like he would be the guy, after all.

And the kissing went on.

---

20 PAGES. 20!! I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SO MUCH ON A ONE-SHOT (or perhaps ever on a chapter) IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! JEEZ!! I MUST BE GOING CRAZY!!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the, uh, fluff-fest I had going on there…*grins sheepishly*

Did you realise that the plot changed about three times during that?? I'll tell you that, even though I probably shouldn't. Too innocent of me. *grins*

I liked that. I loved writing it…it's 12:30am now, I've been ill all week with flu…I went back to school yesterday though…

Hehe, my school had a little fire…

The outfits of James and Lily were the ones I was going to make them wear in the last chapter of TTWH, which got changed…but I finally got the outfits!!

Anyway, I'm going now. R/R, okay?

~ C ~

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