Four Easy Ways to Kill all Love*

bluemoon

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 07/02/2006
Last Updated: 08/10/2006
Status: in_progress

Lily Evans has just about always loathed (not just hated, but actually loathed) James Potter, but ever wonder why she dislikes him so much? Never should have listened to Sirius, James, never should have listened to Sirius.

Chapters

1. Solution One: Use a Love Potion

2. Solution Two: Give a

3. Solution Three: The 'Fairy Tale' Method

1. Solution One: Use a Love Potion

Four Easy Ways to Kill All Love*

bluemoon

Rating: PG-13 (Rated for safety, just in case-this fic probably won't contain anything that really merits the high rate-there are some love potions, insanity, and quite a bit of Lily beating up James, but other then that....)

Summery: Lily Evans has just about always loathed (not just hated, but actually loathed) James Potter, but ever wonder why she dislikes him so much? Never should have listened to Sirius, James, never should have listened to Sirius.

Here is another of those crazy stories that I just had to write, for reasons that I'm sure nobody (least of all me) understands. It was one of those plots that creeps up on you and bites you when you are least expecting it, thus infecting you and forcing you to write it.

Most of my stories seem to come about that way, however.

Just so you know, there will be five chapters in this.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter, or anything affiliated with that series. Sorry, but I just don't. Nor do I own love potions of any kind (though I can think of a few ways that they would be useful if I did....)

Solution One: Use a Love Potion

“Go on, do it!” Sirius Black urged his best friend in the middle of their sixth year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

James Potter didn't require much urging, but the other two members of the Marauders were less easy about the whole arrangement. Well, that is to say, Remus was less easy about it, Peter was really still just trying to figure out just what was going on.

“Prongs, I'm still not sure about this,” Remus said hesitantly, shifting rather uneasily next to the two wickedly grinning boys.

“What are you talking about, Moony?” the black haired boy asked, sounding momentarily aggrieved. “It's not like it's permanent or anything, it'll wear off in anywhere from 2 to 12 hours, depending on how much she takes.”

The group's resident werewolf just sighed and shook his head. “You know, James, if you were ever hoping that she might agree to go out with you willingly, then I think you might be ruining your chances.”

“Who ever said anything about willingly?” James asked his friend innocently, and then cracked up at the look on his friend's face. “I'm sorry, really, I am, but the look was just priceless,” he laughed, as Remus glared bloody, painful murder at him.

“You know,” Remus said, disgruntled, “I am a prefect. I could stop you. I'm supposed to stop you, in fact!”

“Lighten up, Moony,” Sirius urged. “You were always the responsible one, sit back and have a little fun now and then!”

“Like I ever have the time to stop being responsible around you guys,” Remus muttered under his breath.

“Wait a second, let me get this straight,” Wormtail, the last and slowest member of the band, interrupted. “You're planning on giving Lily Evans a love potion?”

James and Sirius looked at each other and sighed. “Yes, Wormtail,” the second of the two patiently explained, “that would be the general idea.”

Peter looked around at his group of friends with large, moist, accusatory eyes. “She'll never forgive you,” he said slowly.

“Exactly what I've been trying to say!” Remus exploded. “James, if you think that she won't hex you so badly that you can't leave the hospital wing for the next three months then-”

“Yes, I'd be very much surprised, but don't you think that it would be worth it? And when the rest of the school finds out it will be great to watch,” he finished with relish.

Remus threw up his hands and looked towards heaven. “Very well, you go on and do that, but I am leaving. That way when she comes after me with her wand out and murder on her mind, I can tell her that I had nothing to do with it and it was all you.”

“Coward!” Sirius jeered good-naturedly. His friend threw him a scathing glare before running down from the dormitory, presumably to the library. Moony had always had these odd ideas that, as he was allowed to study here despite his... condition, he had better get the best grades in his class and make everyone around him proud. It always drove him near insane how James got grades that usually matched his by almost never studying, and were never more then ten points below. In fact, usually they were higher. Evans got top grades too, but that was to be expected. She was a bookworm of the first degree-when she had first come to Hogwarts it had been fun to tease her about it and watch her turn as fiery as her hair. She had never really forgiven him for that, and James reflected for a moment that it was a pity that she was so pretty now. But who would have known it when she came? Or maybe he just wasn't to the age to notice girls yet....

He sighed. It was her fault, really, that he had to resort to these measures. Any other girl in the school would have gone out with him without a second thought, and been amazed by their good fortune! But not Lily Evans, she seemed to know how to carry a grudge. James had been asking her out for most of his fourth year and all of his fifth, but all that she had ever done in response was curse him. And so, quite naturally, he needed to up the offensive.

“What do we need to do to it?” the teen asked, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

“Hnnn... Bit like the... oh, whatsitmit... Polyjuce Potion, that's it. I think that we only need to add a body part of yours-” James looked momentarily horrified and Sirius grinned, “relax, I only mean a hair or a bit of blood, you don't need to go cutting off any fingers or anything like that. It only has to get some of your essence, so that it's attuned to you, unless you want her to fall in love with the first male she lays eyes on. And who knows, that could be Peter!” (Both shuddered and Peter himself looked momentarily aggrieved) “Or even, if things go really bad, Lucius Malfoy. Or even Severus Snape!”

At this suggestion they both shuddered quite splendidly. “Man, I wouldn't wish that on even her,” Potter said. “For all of her curses, he has her outclassed.”

“I'll say.”

“Besides, I don't think that she would ever forgive me then.”

“And you think that she will now?”

“Shut up, Padfoot.”

They both paused for a moment and then looked down at the tiny, thimble-sized cup that was about half full of a clear liquid, disturbingly like vetirisirium.

“You're sure that this is a full dose?”

“Oh yea, any more then that and she might end up messed up. Permanently, unless St. Mungo's can do something.”

“Better not trust them, they certainly couldn't cure you,” James said, laughing, and then ducked as Sirius punched him, rather gently, all considered.

“Nice,” he said sarcastically.

They sat in silence for a few moments before James finally reached up and grabbed one of his own hairs, and then silently dropped it into the potion. The hair floated lazily on the surface for a moment before turning a bright, clear liquid gold and sinking down through the potion in spirals. And then the entire potion turned the red of roses, deep and rich.

They both stared, mesmerized, for a moment before James came up with a slight problem with the plan.“How on earth are we going to slip this to her, anyway?” he asked curiously.

“Pumpkin Juice?” Sirius suggested. “After all, if it's a bit darker orange then usual, I don't think anyone will really notice....”

“Hey, good idea! And she actually likes that stuff, Merlin knows why.”

“What are you talking about, it's great!”

“Yea, yea, keep on telling yourself that.... Pumpkin Juice it is, then. I mean, the potion will be all right if we leave it here all night, right?”

“Aught to be. I actually heard that love potions get stronger with time.” Sirius grinned. “`Bit like firewhisky, that way.”

James rolled his eyes and shoved his friend, and then froze as the cup rocked back and forth gently, looking as though it were going to tip over. Both barely dared breathe, but the container settled back without spilling a drop.

“That was close,” breathed James.

“Yea, we'd better put a shield up around this for now.”

“The whole table, do ya think?”

“Yea, or else someone could just bump that.”

Working quickly, the erected a protective bubble around the tiny table (really, it was James's night stand, but that was beyond the point) and then retired, waiting eagerly for morning.

Typically, James couldn't sleep. His mind was too busy, there was absolutely no way that he would ever get to sleep tonight... no way... no possible....

He woke up the next morning to the part clockwork and part magical cuckoo bird that his mom had gotten for him as a bit of a joke back when he was only 10. Still, every once in a while he used it, and usually not to the pleasure of his dorm mates....

“Shut that bloody thing off!” came one muffled roar as a pillow flew in more or less the direction of James's bed.

“Too early,” someone else was muttering.

Smiling, he reached over and touched the beak of the bird, stopping its shrill and piercing shrieks. “Sorry, have to get to the breakfast hall early,” James said. He was greeted by various groans and oaths, including a few suggestions that, if he took them literally, would be rather difficult to do.

Cheerfully, he responded in kind, and then grabbed the potion and headed down to the great hall for breakfast.

As he left the dorm he heard one disgruntled youth mutter, “Aught to be illegal to act that happy this early in the morning....”

Laughing softly, he continued on his way.

Glancing around when he arrived, he saw that Lily hadn't arrived yet (and surely even she couldn't have been and gone already) and so he settled down to wait at the Gryffindor table, in his usual seat, which was as close as he could get it to the seat that she normally sat in. As her friends took up several seats on the side of the table she was at, he sat on the other side, but the distance was still quite manageable. Close enough for him to slip the potion into her pumpkin juice if she followed the trend and sat in front of him. He could pretend to be reaching for some bacon.

He grinned. This was going to be brilliant.

He didn't have to wait long. Lily Evans came down within five minutes, actually, laughing with the one friend of hers who was also an early riser, and then settled down into her usual spot without looking up. When she finally did, it was clear that she was in a state of semi-shock.

“Potter? What the... what are you doing up so early?”

“I just wanted to see you, my dove, my pearl, my sunshine, my rose!”

Lily scowled. James grinned and reached for the bacon, which was so conveniently next to her glass of pumpkin juice. He dropped the tiny amount of liquid into her glass, and her friend's pale blue eyes momentarily fixed on him curiously, as though she had seen. That would never do-James quickly whipped out his wand and cast a charm that left the girl momentarily confused, and chances are she wouldn't remember seeing him slip anyone anything for a little while after.

“Knock it off, Potter.” Lily said, her green eyes annoyed. “Leave me alone, or I can't be held responsible for anything that might happen to you.”

James's first reaction to this statement was to freeze, thinking that she'd noticed his spell, but then he relaxed. It had to be his charming and playful reasons that had her so annoyed. He grinned wider, and, seeing this, Lily rolled her eyes. He wouldn't be that bad, really-he was funny and smart and cute, after all-if he didn't have an ego the size of Europe.

“James Potter, you have the biggest head in this entire school, and I don't know how, as you have to have the smallest brain! I don't know when you're going to get it through your thick skull, but I do not want to go out with you! Not now, and not ever if you carry on like you have been!!!” Knowing that, if she continued, she would end up saying something that she would probably regret later on, she grabbed her goblet of pumpkin juice and drained it, more to shut herself up then anything.

James was positively cackling.

Lily, however, was feeling confused. For a moment-just a moment, mind-after drinking the potion, she had felt a bit lightheaded, but then that seemed to pass and she was wondering why on earth she had been yelling at James Potter. After all, he was so handsome, and smart, and funny, and he liked her!

Lily was suddenly and inexplicably very, very glad for that fact.

And then, barely even thinking of what she was doing (though really and truly wondering why she had-for years now-been snubbing the best guy in the entire school), she jumped up, ran around the table, and grabbed James's hand to pull him up. She wanted to go somewhere outside everyone's view.

“You still haven't eaten,” he laughingly pointed out, and Lily was swept away in a wave of awe. He was just so smart! Laughing like a schoolgirl (and one much younger then she was herself) she sat down next to James.

“All right if I have you?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of a few more traditional breakfast foods.” Lily pouted very prettily at this, but then smiled again when he added, “But I wouldn't be against that if you wanted to after....”

* * * * * *

Right, I'm not going to describe the rest of the day, I will leave that up to your PG-13 rated imaginations. Nothing... untoward happens. Although there was probably a lot of snogging (kissing). After all, this is James, who is currently the object of adoration for the girl of his dreams....

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2. Solution Two: Give a

Solution Two: Give a “Gentle” Hint

Lily woke up, very slowly, and wondered lazily where she was. Mmm... she was leaning against something soft and warm.... She made a little kittenish motion that scrunched her up closer, feeling wonderful... and then she opened her eyes.

She was cuddled up next to James Potter, with her head on his chest. After she had had time to process this fact, and determine that this was not some awful nightmare, she let out a piercing yelp, but more with surprise then anything, and sat up very suddenly, scooting away.

“You!” she squeaked, leaping to her feet as he began to move closer. “What were you... I mean what was I....” Her mind was racing furiously as she tried to think up an explanation for this madness. She had been feeling a bit queer this morning.... “You... You... THERE WAS A LOVE POTION IN MY PUMPKIN JUICE, WASN'T THERE????” It was, after all the only explanation. She went hot then cold as she remembered of the past day. If it was true.... Lily blushed very deeply, her face going as flaming red as her hair. If it was true then James Potter was a... a... really, there was no word in the English language to describe just how horrible he was!

Meanwhile, the inhuman thing only smirked at her. “Well, you wouldn't pay attention to me any other way....”

Lily gasped in outrage. “HOW DARE YOU?” she trumpeted in a voice that probably reverberated throughout the whole castle.

Up in the boy's dorm, Sirius grinned as he stared up at his canopy. “Ah, well, there she goes. Moony, I'll bet you a case of Chocolate Frogs that he spends the night in the hospital wing.”

“I'd say more like a week, given the sound of things,” the werewolf replied, cocking his head slightly. “I've never heard her sound this mad, not even when James replaced her Boomslang skin with potato peels that one time when we were in the second year, remember?

Sirius grinned at the memory. Indeed he did. Lily was, and always had been, amazingly talented at potions. Without a shadow of a doubt, or even any real effort, she left the rest of her class in the dust, even Snape. Maybe this accounted for the reason that he had never liked her that much. In any case, she had always managed to do everything so amazingly well that every once in a while Slughorn, even as early on as their second year, had put her to more complicated projects, as he had the rest of his class work on the normal sort of things. And it had been James's idea to replace one of her ingredients one day, and then watch her go half insane trying to figure out what she had done wrong and why nothing was working. And it really had been beautiful, like a work of art, to watch her in potions that day.

Of course, when she had accidentally found out a few weeks later, her wrath had also been exquisite, and after James had finally recovered, he had to serve detentions with Slughorn for most of the rest of the year. Slughorn liked Lily Evans--she was one of his favorites, for all that he always claimed not to have any.

“Lily,” they heard James laugh downstairs, and then there was the reverberating sound of a slap, followed by what sounded not so much like a spell, but rather an avalanche of spells shrieked at the top of her lungs, and then thundering steps up the staircase.

“Well, come on, we'd better get him to the hospital wing,” Remus sighed. Sirius was actually all for leaving him out there for a while longer, and Peter rather shared that opinion, but Remus wouldn't allow it. (“Just think how you would feel!”) and so the threesome trooped down into the common room. Once they got there, it took a little while just to completely confirm that the thing they were looking at actually was James. Sirius actually collapsed with a fit of the giggles before they were done, while Remus did most of the work (but then what else was new?) and Peter just stood to the side looking faintly queasy.

“Well, um, James, you can't say I didn't warn you,” Remus said finally, and even he sounded like he couldn't decide whether to be mildly amused or bemused.

“I didn't know that she could do this!” James said mournfully in a voice that sounded nothing like his normal tones.

There was a pause of a few minutes awkward silence filled only by Sirius's last gasps of mirth (the thing that was James shot him a baleful look) before Remus finally sighed heavily. “Ok then, let's get you to the hospital wing.... Wormtail-me and Padfoot can get him there if you want to finish that essay.”

“I guess.”

So, as Peter went back up the stairs to collect his ink, quill and parchment, Sirius and Remus carefully gathered up James and set off for the hospital wing.

At the same time, upstairs in the girls' dorm, a throughly enraged Lily Evans was pacing back and forth, her face as red as her hair-though with fury this time, not embarrassment-and gesturing wildly as she ranted. “Arrogant, lousy, unsufferable prat! Detestable, vain, big-headed, chauvinistic male pig! HORRIBLE little inhuman thing! He's so full of it, his eye's should be brown! Cold, INFURIATING absolutely deplorable little-”Here she broke off into something that sounded remarkably like quite a lot of swearing in something that could have been Spanish, French, or Italian; no one was ever sure which.

Anyway, this sort of thing went of for about half an hour-Lily cursing the air around someone blue, and in more then one language. Finally, when she seemed to be content for the moment just to stand fuming, a rather shy girl named Emily Schidehs asked timidly, “Umm, Lil? Who are you talking about?”

“Who am I talking about? Who am I talking about? I'LL TELL YOU WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT! JAMES DAVID POTTER!” Lily Evans looked truly terrifying at that moment. Her hair felt to her almost like a giant birds' nest, and her emerald-green eyes put one in mind of lasers more then anything else.

A bold girl named Violet spoke next. “What do you mean, Lily? After all, you sure were acting like you liked him all today....” And, though she had started off confident, her voice dribbled off pathetically as Lily turned her fiery gaze to glare daggers at her instead.

“Yes, well, I suppose that I was acting that way today. But do you know why? Do you know what that miserable little worm DID? LOVE POTION, THAT'S WHAT HE DID!!!”

There was a moment of shocked silence while this little revelation seemed to sink in, and then everything exploded. It was a bit like watching a volcano erupting-not one of the nice, calm little eruptions that is little but lava spilling out, but one that actually blows the top off of a mountain. On a slightly smaller scale, you can get the same effect by shaking an unopened bottle of soda for roughly half an hour, and then throwing a small grenade at it.

Yea, boom.

The point is, the world momentarily became one great jumbled mess of every girl in the dorm gasping in a horrified manner, or shrieking in indignation and outrage, or muttering various oaths against James Potter, as well as any friends and close relations that they could get their hands on. Many of the girls were all for marching up to the boys' dorm and doing various things to James after dragging him down to the common room, the nicest of which was turning him into a mouse and then setting him loose in a house full of cats, knezles, and various cross-breeds.

However, to everyone's surprise, it was Lily who halted their plans. When everyone demanded in one voice why she wouldn't let them go and make him pay by teaching him a lesson that (even with a boy's capacity for short-term memory) he would not soon forget, Lily had only smiled in a self-satisfied and slightly evil way. And then she had told them that she had taken care of it.

Seeing her grin, slow smiles began to spread across all of the other girls' faces as well. Lily, after all, was a prefect. She was also the top of her class, a sure pick for Head Girl next year, and had one of the most impressive collection of curses, hexes, and jinxes in the school.

If she said so, then James had gotten it good.

He was going to have an interesting time of it for the next few days too-Lily usually put a barb in the tail end of all of her spells that made them exceptionally hard to break. Her professors loved her for it-it was one of those reasons that her getting the Head Girl spot next year was practically guaranteed-but they rather doubted that James would admire her prowess nearly so much.

James, meanwhile, certainly was having an interesting (if somewhat worrisome) time of it. Both Madam Pomfery (the young and certainly pretty new assistant nurse) and Madam Thidy (who was the much older Head Nurse, and not nearly so easy on the eyes) were standing over his hospital bed, looking down at him somewhat bemusedly.

“And this really is James Potter?” Pomfery finally asked, slightly disbelievingly.

“Yes, I am!” croaked what once had been James, and both nurses jumped.

“Ah, you can speak? That makes things... marginally easier. Now, do you know what you were hit with?”

James sat for a moment in contemplation, as he tried to recall it all. “Just about everything, I think,” he finally said.

Thidy sighed.

“I don't know if I've ever seen this particular effect before....” puzzled Pomfery. “Is it new?”

“The spells seem to have mixed with some... interesting results. James, I'm sorry, but you're going to be here for a while. Who was it, anyway?”

“I didn't see.”

“Not at all?”

“No, Madam Thidy. I'm sorry.”

The head nurse merely gave him a somewhat scrutinizing look before sighing and turning back. “Right, well, as this will take some time, we might as well get started. Come on, we need to start unpicking this mess....” Both nurses acquired an intense look of concentration, and finally one said, “Isn't that the Jelly Legs Jinx?”

“I think so, let's try the countercharm....”

* * * * * *

And so ends Chapter Two! Did you like it as much as Chapter One? James (btw) is probably going to be able to begin atoning for his... folly with refusing to tell. Lily would have cheerfully served detention for what she did, and not getting into trouble (and finding out that him not telling was the reason) is going to intrigue her, methinks.

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3. Solution Three: The 'Fairy Tale' Method

Solution Three: The “Fairy Tale” method

Lily had, of course, spent the next week sitting rather tenderly on her pins and needles, just waiting for someone to show up and give her detention for what would probably amount to the rest of her life. And when no one had, well, she was rather surprised. After all, the only way that she could think that she had gotten out of all of it was if James hadn't told, and of course he would have.... After all, she had attacked him with so many spells....

But then, maybe he had felt that he had deserved it. Or-and this was much more likely in her frame of mind-he was trying to blackmail her somehow or get into her good graces by refusing to blackmail her. (How and why such stark contrasts could exist was never thought about-that was simply the way that it was.) And so she had determined to most pointedly and coldly ignore him when he got out of the hospital wing.

Of course, she had a while to wait. And when he actually did get out, she failed miserably in the ignoring part. The fights between the two became legendary in Hogwarts, the more advanced students teaching the new little first years to hit the ground when they saw the two of them approaching each other. Not, of course, that James ever did much on the offensive side, and didn't even try that hard to defend himself, it always seemed, despite the fact that it was the rare event for Lily to actually hit him. And she blazed so much at that... well... it was said that every time Lily Evans and James Potter fought, her temperature rose and broke another record. ((A/N: For those of you wondering, yes, this was modified from Penelope's line in See How They Run-which, similarly, I do not own.))

As I said, though, all this took a while. In the end, it had taken nearly a month to untangle all of the spells that Lily had layered on James, but he (as he had promised) had only laughed. Once the shock of finding himself looking the way that he had had worn off, of course.

Needless to say, this had just made Lily despise James the more, and from that day on she became the founder (and basically only member) of the Unofficial I Hate James Potter Club for Gryffindor. James actually laughed even harder at this, and redoubled his efforts.

There are several long and complicated stories in all of this, but the end result was that, by the beginning of their mutual seventh year, there were few people who had ever had such a share of unadulterated loathing (agreed Gryffindor House and most of the rest of the school, almost without exception) heaped on one person as James David Potter had daily piled on him by Lily June Evans.

James was somewhat bemused at all of this but still took it in his stride, and that took Lily to the point of screaming in frustration more then once.

And then, at the beginning of the seventh year, after only about a week of half-hearted attempts to get Lily to go out with him, James did an amazing thing.

He seemed to back off.

Lily was (understandably) shocked, and didn't really understand this move. He had, after all, been asking her out since basically the day that she had turned 14, (when he was almost 15 and swooned over by practically every other female member of Hogwarts) and she just could not seem to believe that he had just given up after all of those years. He had to be planning something! Something simply horrible! He was concentrating so hard on that that he was slacking of in making her daily life a misery. He was thinking of some huge, cataclysmic thing that he could do that would ruin her life in five new ways before she would have time to twitch! This would make the love potion seem as nothing!

Understandably, Lily had become rather jumpy around James.

Actually, James was doing no such thing. He hadn't given up, not by any means, but he had decided to leave Lily on her own for a while, making her decide that she was in fact madly in love with him (and always had been). You know, the whole “absence makes the heart grow fonder” thing. And, simply because she was suddenly paying him so much attention, he had thought for a while that he had succeed. He, needless to say, gained a new swagger in his step, one that Lily was simply aching to throw out on its ear, but given that she still wasn't sure what was going on, she didn't. Thus James strutted around the school more and Lily got more and more annoyed, and yet didn't do anything.

This was about the point that it dawned on James that something wasn't working in exactly the way that it should. After all, if it was, then why hadn't Lily admitted to undying love for him yet? Then again, Lily hadn't even really insulted him recently. But she still wasn't acting like she liked him or anything. But then, neither was she really acting like she hated him any more. At least, not to the extent that she had been before.

James David Potter had rarely felt so confused. Most things just seemed to come naturally to him, this was the most trouble that he could remember having with anything for... well... it was a long time, anyway.

“What on earth is she doing, Padfoot?” he murmured one day in charms, as the two of them sat peering quizzically down at her.

“I dunno. Maybe just trying to confuse you?”

“Well, if that's her aim, she's succeeded.”

“Or maybe she's just worried now that you don't like her anymore.” Sirius said after a few moments of serious contemplation.

James started, and his head snapping around as he turned to stare at his friend. “You think that could be it?”

“Well, you certainly haven't been paying her as much attention as you used to, maybe she just thinks you're not interested. Maybe she thinks you finally got the hint to move on, and now she wants you sticking around, but is too proud to admit it.”

“Do ya know,” James said when he could finally speak again, for he had been stunned by this revelation, “I think that must be it.”

Sirius grinned. “And not only that, but think of the reputation she has to uphold. If she doesn't think you like her, she's not about to go and ruin it.”

“And she has seemed rather half-hearted about insulting me lately. I don't think that she's even yelled at me for... a few days, at least.”

Sirius sat back with a smirk. “There, you see?”

James sat back, thunderstruck. “Well, what should I do about it then?”

“Why not prove that you still like her?”

“But how? Most of the time she just seems annoyed with me whenever I do anything along those lines.”

Sirius looked thoughtful once again. “I dunno. Maybe just wait for it. Something will probably come up.”

Two rows down, Lily Evans fidgeted and wished that James would get it over with, whatever it was he was planning. She didn't have long to wait. A week later, that opportunity he had been waiting for presented itself.

It was getting close to the end of the year and... well... it was the year that the students would take their N.E.W.T.s. The students, indeed, could not forget this if they wanted to (as many did) as the teachers seemed to talk of nothing else. It was impossible to forget even for those students who slept through most classes, the amount of homework saw to that. Therefore, all things considered, it really wasn't that unusual to see overworked upper-years paging frantically through a book, their eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot, ink stains coving their hands. And it was even more common to see them slumped over half finished essays, a quill with drying ink still resting gently in their hand, dead to the world.

So what happened to Lily really wasn't that abnormal. At first, at least.

She was writing a particularly nasty essay for Transfiguration and could barely keep her eyes open. Normally, of course, Lily was hardly one to fall asleep doing homework, but these were hardly normal times. Over and over she repeated to herself that she would not fall asleep, she would not fall asleep, she would not fall asleep. The spell diagram she was copying with notes to show how it worked and how else it could be applied, seemed very far off.

Ah well.

Could not fall asleep. Would not fall asleep.

Still, she decided, she could rest one eye. If she rested both then she would fall asleep, but surely not just one....

Within minutes both eyes were shut and her breathing was deep and rhythmic as her quill sat gently on the table, looking forlorn.

Nearly an hour later, James climbed through the portrait hole (the password at the time was Houle, one of the words that the uppers were supposed to know by then anyway - consequently, the Pink Lady didn't let anyone in their seventh year through unless they both named and defined the current password), Sirius on his heels. It was nearly one on the morning and they had just gotten back from their respective detentions. Both were tired and sore and just wanted to go to bed, but James had frozen when he saw Lily.

She was asleep, curled up and looking peaceful and kind and even more pretty then she usually did, which was saying something.

“Sirius,” James had breathed.

“Yea?”

“I know what I'm going to do.”

“What?” Sirius asked, looking over at James with an eyebrow cocked.

“I know what I'm going to do. I know how to show her.”

Maybe he had been maturing in the past half a year. Maybe it was that he was tired. Maybe it was something he had eaten. Still, whatever it was, this was not the James who had laughingly fed Lily a love potion.

At least... not entirely. There was a small corner of that being left, but most of him wanted something else, something different, something that would convince Lily that....

She was a sleeping beauty, really, and deserved to be treated as such.

And with this final thought, the vague inclination that had planted itself in his mind the moment that he saw her solidified. She needed to wake up and finish her essay, and she deserved....

Gently, James walked up and kissed her.

At first, Lily had relaxed. Nice... it felt... nice. Then, as she finally came out of the foggy veil of sleep, she realized what was happening.

James Potter was kissing her. On the mouth.

With a gasp and splutter, she pulled away, feeling her face turn red as a tomato. For a moment, as she put her hands over her reddening she wondered if she was more angry or mortified, before settling on anger. Anger was easier.

“Potter, what do you think-”

“Aw, come on, Lily!” he'd said, cutting her off. “You were - are - a sleeping beauty. And she deserves to be woken up with a kiss.” He sounded aggrieved and almost as though he was pleading.

“So you like fairytales, then?” Lily yelled. “Well then try this!” She had been thinking of that transfiguration essay that she had been writing, and almost before thinking, she cast the spell. And set conditions, so it would be almost impossible to break without fulfilling them. Every spell needed a loophole, after all. It almost always was the normal `out,' the one that the designers of counter charms had written into their spells. Those, however, who understood how a spell functioned, the poetry and language of it, could set their own conditions. They just had to exist, that was all. In any case, it was much more difficult then it sounded. Not many people could do it, and they not for many spells. But for those who could....

A frog, green and spotted, gazed sorrowfully up at Lily and croaked. She stood over it, breathing heavily, a few strands of her copper-red curls sticking to her face as her emerald-green eyes wavered.

Then, without another word, she turned and fled the common room, running pell-mell up the stairs, the essay that she had been working so hard on lying forgotten on the table.

Once in her room, Lily threw herself down on her bed and buried her face in her pillow, her cheeks still afire. She felt... confused. Angry, certainly, but hurt and disjointed as well.

The main problem was how good it had felt when he kissed her. That had thrown her, and she could still feel the soft warmth of....

Furiously she shook her head and then rolled over onto her back and sighed.

* * * * * *

I FINALLY DID IT! I UPDATED! HOORAY FOR ME!!!!!!

I will finish this story, I will I will. Don't worry, `tis now almost done.

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