Winning the Lost Battle

The fire flickered in front of her as she sat on the warmth of the sofa. Lights flashed like the burning desire in his eyes. She never found out the truth about him, nor did she ever think she would. For days she stared blankly into the fire. Rarely would she get up from the comfort of the warm fire and move outside the safety of Hogwarts to sit by the lake. There she would simply stare into the night looking for any sign of hope.

The fight, it was unforgettable and had a lasting imprint on everyone's heart. Whether you were in the fight or a bystander, everyone felt its impact. Every wand around the world had a specific fire that emerged at the moment Harry and Lord Voldemort started their duel.

She turned, hearing footsteps approach her and saw a red haired boy walking towards the seat next to her. Completely ignoring him she continued to stare at the fire reminiscing of the events that had just past. Without noticing it, Ron dropped a small cauldron on the table between them and then slowly limped back to his seat, leaving his leg out to heal.

Together they sat, reminiscing on past events. Though she tried not to, the only thing she heard was the small sobs of Ron next to her. It pained her to see him like this, but it just made her feel worse.

Hot tears began to trickle down her face as she remembered all those who were lost in the battle. There were some she loved, some she cared about, and others she didn't even know. All of them just fighting to give Harry his chance. All of them fighting for freedom. All of them fighting for what they believed was right.

“Hermione, are you sure you want to do this? I mean…” Ron couldn't find the words for what he wanted to say. It had become too hard for him to remember. He always wondered what took Harry so long to return to Hogwarts but he was never sure what did happen to Harry. Only Hermione knew the truth. She witnessed the great fight between good and evil herself. Ron on the other hand had been hit several times with various curses and was knocked unconscious by one of Snape's attacks.

She was the only one to realize Snape's true intentions but shuddered at the thought of them. He had been sent to Azkaban directly after the war and had willingly given himself in.

“Hermione?” His voice rang through her ears but she felt too weak to respond. Instead, she settled on simply nodding her head. She reached into her pocket pulling out her wand. She shuddered feeling some of the sweat that was still on her wand.

Hermione slowly raised her wand to the side of her head, still unsure of whether or not to go through with it. After several moments, she allowed the silvery substance to circle out of her head and wrap around her wand. Without ever looking at the memory, she slowly allowed it to swirl in the cauldron.

Her heart began to beat faster and she could feel sweat pouring down her face. Seeing this memory was going to tear her heart to pieces but she had to show him. Ron needed to know the story of what happened on that dark day. She felt something warm in her hand and looked up to find Ron holding it trying to keep her together. He honestly didn't know why she had insisted on looking back at this memory, but she claimed she needed to find something out.

After taking one last look around the common room to make sure there was no one left still awake, she squeezed Ron's hand telling him she was ready. Together they touched the surface of the silvery substance and were plunged into the contents of the pensieve.

Traveling through the pensieve was a new experience for Hermione and Ron but the grief they were feeling almost cancelled it out. Before she knew it, Hermione found herself once again in the dark cave where the battle had taken place. Looking at a mirror image of herself and Harry only brought more tears as she watched her final conversation with him. Neither of them knew how big this simple task would turn out to be.

She looked at Ron who had a similar look as hers. He looked ready to collapse and his face was as white as ever. Luckily for him, he never saw the end. He never saw the fate of the chosen one. It took every ounce of energy to not run up to herself and scream at Harry to not go on. Instead she listened in on the conversation while asking Ron, “Would you mind me silencing you on this part? It's kind of personal…” Hermione felt more tears envelop her.

At this point, Ron would normally be grinning ear to ear and throwing jokes about the pair in every which direction. For some reason, Ron had matured a lot since the final battle and because of it, he kept silent and simply nodded towards her request. Hermione raised her wand to his head and performed a charm to prevent him from hearing anything outside of his own thoughts. Looking back at the scene unfolding, the present Hermione performed another spell that she had read about to allow herself back into the mind of her mirror image. From there, she was just a spectator and had no control of what happened next.

Time was running out and she knew it. Her heart was pounding and she just wanted to die. Hermione looked up to see the warm emerald eyes of Harry Potter. He was looking down at her with great concern. She had just called Harry aside moments before what was expected to be the end of good or evil. The present Hermione knew this was the end of one chapter of the war but it made no difference at that point.

Harry slowly leaned against the cavern wall and sat down motioning for Hermione to do likewise. He looked around for any sign of a member of the order returning with news of what was ahead. The cavern seemed to go on for miles on end and somewhere at the end was where they had tracked Voldemort to. Order members were running ragged all over the place searching for any signs of a death eater. Hundreds of normal wizards had been warned to look out for a mark in the sky. If it were to be seen, anyone with the will to fight was asked to come to that point and join the war for good.

The present Hermione watched as Harry looked back at her to discover what was on her mind. “What's wrong Hermione? Today's the day we end this once and for all and you and me, we can live normal lives along with Ron.” Hermione noticed he was picking his words carefully.

“I don't know. It's just that, the prophecy, it's you or him, Vol…Vol…He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.” Hermione squeaked no longer able to repeat his name at this critical moment.

“Hermione!” Harry bellowed, his anger coursing through his veins. “His name is Voldemort! No, Tom Riddle! He is no better than you or I! Now say it!”

“Fine, he's Tom Riddle.” Hermione sighed knowing this was no time to be in an argument with her best friend that could die this very day. She had always acted brave, out smarting everyone around her and never wanted to give in. She was a person of pride and bravery and that's why she was in Gryffindor. She had tried time and time again to out smart the prophecy itself but there was no way around it. In the end, it would be Harry or Voldemort and she couldn't bear to live a life without him.

She continued to listen to the thoughts that had clouded her mind that day. If she had been completely focused, then maybe there was a way she could have done something to change the events that had occurred.

Harry watched in pain as Hermione fought within herself. He tried to make eye contact with her but each time he tried, she would simply shift her head or close her eyes. Hermione knew Harry was dreading this day and hadn't slept for nights on end, but he was determined not to let it show.

Slowly, Harry watched as a single tear dropped from Hermione's chocolate eyes. He reached up to her cheek to rub it away, but as he touched her, the single tear became a stream of them. Harry's heart was being torn into pieces. He couldn't stand to watch his best friend cry not that he had ever seen her do so. She had always been strong no matter what or at least that was what she showed. He admired her for her courage, but he could see the fear flowing throughout her body.

While the tears were flowing, Hermione couldn't help but curse at herself at this time where she of all people should show courage. She was afraid to look into Harry's eyes knowing that he would be able to read her every thought. She couldn't bear to burden him with anything else on this final day.

It felt like ages before Harry broke the silence between them. “Hermione…” He didn't know what else to say. This was worse than having Cho Chang from Ravenclaw crying into his shoulder about the death of Cedric. There was so much suffering and it was all because of him.

“Harry…I…I'm scared.” Hermione released her fear through sobs. She couldn't even imagine a life without Harry and yet now it all seemed too possible.

“Don't be, this will all be over soon and I won't let anyone hurt you.” Hermione had never heard Harry say that to anyone and she tried to suppress her tears.

“Don't you get it Harry? That is what I fear most! If all you do is try to protect me, who will be there to protect you? I'm not worth it Harry.”

“Hermione, look at me.” Harry's voice was gentle but forceful at the same time. Slowly, her head turned back up to meet Harry's eyes. “There is no person on Earth that deserves to live more than you.”

“But what about you? Who's going to save your back? I can handle myself, but you're going to face him…”

“Hermione!”

“Fine you're going to face Riddle and you need to have all your focus on him, not me.”

“What do you want me to do? I can't just forget about you and pretend you never existed.”

“Yes, I want you to do that Harry. I'll be fine.”

“But Hermione…”

“Look, Harry before this happens and before you forget about me,” she put an extra emphasis on the last five words, “I just want you to know…”

Hermione was cut off by an ear piercing scream that could be heard throughout the cavern walls. It was quickly followed by screams of, “They're here!” Wizards and witches began running through the area where Harry and Hermione were and into the direction of where the screams were being heard. Harry quickly got up and brought Hermione with him.

“Look, Hermione, we'll get through this and be happy together as best friends for all eternity.” Harry looked deep within the watery eyes of Hermione before giving her a genuine hug. He quickly retreated and ran off into the cave leaving Hermione to stand alone as wizards passed her oblivious that she was even there.

The final words that Harry had spoken rang through her ears and pierced her heart. `best friends for eternity' Hermione would kill herself if she never told Harry her true feelings. She never wanted to admit it but she always thought everyone was destined to end up with someone and her someone was Harry. She just knew it with every ounce of her heart that she could love no one like how she loved Harry.

Slowly, the present day Hermione began to emerge from the past one and appeared next to Ron. She quickly undid the silencing charm. He gave her a reassuring smile as the scene around them began to blur and contort. She looked at Ron and noticed he looked like he might be sick but she didn't care. The scene slowly reappeared in the large cavern where they had discovered Voldemort.

When Hermione really thought about it, Voldemort had turned out to find them. Death Eaters ran in the hundreds while those fighting under Harry were dismal in numbers in comparison. The two onlookers watched as their transfiguration teacher shot up the mark that would signify where the final battle was taking place. Most of the world knew it was going on due to the constant sparks emitting from their wands.

At this point, Hermione had to turn her head for Minerva was then left vulnerable while she cast the mark. Ron was completely oblivious as to what was about to occur but watched in horror as their very own house leader fell to the floor after being hit with a stray killing curse. Ron flinched then looked at himself as he fell after being hit by several curses, none of which were unforgivable. Hermione assumed they had to be new recruits Voldemort had recently enlisted.

The mark Minerva had cast instantly vanished and had probably changed the events that were yet to unfold. The mark lasted for seconds and only a few hundred had seen it, barely evening out the sides temporarily. Unfortunately the tides soon turned as more Death Eaters appeared due to the mark engraved upon their arm. The fight was now in full swing with the Death Eaters clearly in control.

Hermione had gotten lost as to where she was in this battle. Still completely dumbfounded, she recast her spell bringing herself into her own mind during the battle. Looking around, she saw Harry at her side knocking off any enemy that came close to either of them. At the same time, he continued to scream out Voldemort's name hoping he would soon appear.

Turning back to watch herself fight, Hermione watched as she fought off one Death Eater who put up no fight at all. As time passed, she began to gain confidence but couldn't bring herself to utter the killing curse. She simply did not believe that she could kill anyone without feeling so guilty that she might commit suicide afterwards.

Finally the Death Eater she had been dreading appeared in front of her. She looked around and found the present Ron standing at her side watching on carefully. The Death Eater charged recklessly and Hermione was easily able to fend him off but at a cost. With Harry fighting his own battle, her rear was left unguarded which was just the opportunity the Death Eaters had been waiting for.

“Crucio!”

Hermione felt as if millions of needles stabbed her through every inch of her body. Even though this was simply a memory, Hermione could still feel the pain as if it were happening to her at that very moment. She cringed in pain screaming at the top of her lungs and slowly weakening. Although the Hermione in the fight never heard him, the real Hermione listened as Harry screamed after her. She prayed for the pain to stop. Death couldn't have been worse than this and she knew the day she wished for death was the day she would die internally, and at that moment, she wanted death more than anything in the world.

The pain ceased after an eternity of suffering. Hermione watched herself look around to check if she was still alive. Once she had concluded that she was indeed not dead, she tried to get up, but it was useless, she was too weak. Before she could do a thing, her limp body was swept off the ground and smashed into a cavern wall. She could taste a small bit of blood forming in her mouth and quickly spit it onto the floor.

Looking up, she heard the war cries of hundreds of men and women fighting to stay alive. She tried to move her hands free but they were bound to the cavern wall. Her wand was no longer in her hand and she could feel all hope leaving. Then she looked up into the green eyes of him. They were so full of fright she could barely stand it. He was trying everything to free her but nothing would work.

After casting several spells Harry looked as if he were ready to give up. Hermione watched as another Death Eater came up behind him. Being so caught up in the moment, present day Hermione screamed at Harry to watch out but herself during the fight didn't have the energy to speak a word.

She watched in horror as he was struck from behind with the same curse that had weakened her. He screamed in agony while Hermione and Ron both watched without a single ounce of power. Hermione had begun to regret her decision in reliving this memory. She knew it would be hard but not this hard. Then she remembered why she was here. She had to find out if he had received her message, and she would never be able to live with herself if he hadn't.

Moments later, Harry was sent flying into the wall next to her, bound by the same spell that had held her. His face was locked forward and though he struggled, he could not move a muscle in his entire body.

Ron stared at Hermione and Harry bound to the wall side by side. It was then that he realized there was a giant crack echoing throughout the room. No one had to look up to know who it was. They had fought him countless times while searching for the horcruxes and with each one destroyed, it seemed he would get more and more stronger as his soul slowly became single.

Lord Voldemort stalked his way across the cavern towards the two friends chained to the wall. Several of the wizards who had come to aid Harry recklessly tried to stop him in his tracks but it was no use. With a flick of his wand, nearly fifteen people went flying across the room and into the rock hard walls of the caverns meeting an instant death. In his rage, Voldemort even killed some of his own without remorse of regret. Finally he reached the pair and one of his servants came out from the fight to greet him.

“I bound both of them to the wall. They can't move at all.” The Death Eater hissed over the cries of others falling to the ground.

“Good work. Now kill everyone else that is herre and let me have my fun.” He quickly turned to Harry while Hermione helplessly watched, unable to even speak a word. “Harry, I've been waiting for this day for so long. I can't remember the last time I was this happy to see you. Well, actually I can, the day I laid that little mark above your eyes.”

He touched the lightning shaped scar on Harry's forehead and Hermione watched as he cringed in pain at the mere touch of Voldemort's flesh. “Yes, the day I killed those pathetic parents of yours just made me happy and that's not an easy thing to do. I remember their screams. Yes John screamed at Lily to run and protect you but she refused to comply. I felt somewhat sad to have to kill her, she was quite the pretty one to me.” Voldemort smirked.

Hermione watched as Harry lost control and spit in the dark lord's face. “His name was James and how dare you talk about my parents in that way! I swear on my life that you will die tonight.”

Voldemort simply laughed at this last comment. “You are going to destroy me, tonight? And how do you plan on doing that? If I do recall, this thing at my foot is your wand.” He stuck his hand over the wand and it levitated up to his hand. “And I don't believe you ever got around to learning wandless magic. Yes Harry, I know exactly what you have and have not been practicing.” Voldemort responded after Harry gave him a skeptical glare. “Damn it, make them die quietly!” He screamed over his shoulder after Tonks let out a blood hurling scream before falling to the ground dead.

At this point, Hermione began to feel something tingling inside her head. It felt as if she were being invaded but it was a comfortable feeling at the same time. Out of nowhere Hermione heard Harry speaking through legilimens. “Hermione?” At first, Hermione was shocked that he even had the ability to talk with his mind.

The on looking Hermione watched as her own face contorted trying to make Harry hear her thoughts. “Harry?” She waited for moments and called his name out again in her mind.

“I've never really been able to tell you what a great friend you were. There are no words that can describe what you meant to me. You and Ron stuck with me when all seemed lost. Just remember how much you meant to me and never forget.” Even though he was speaking through her mind, she could hear his voice shaking. As quickly as his voice had come into her head, it left without a trace. Her body hadn't a clue what was going on, but her real self knew full well what he was planning.

“That pathetic mudblood of a mother you had. How much I enjoyed taking her life.” Voldemort continued to rage Harry.

“DO IT NOW!!!!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs. A small sliver of green light appeared in the background from one of the death eaters pointing at Harry. At this point, both Hermiones had caught on to what was about to happen.

This is it, Hermione thought. Just as she began to leave her body, she heard herself say one last thing to Harry. Her last words that she would ever speak to him. “I love you Harry!” Although she never spoke a word aloud, she could only pray her powers of legilimens were as strong as Harry's. Hermione separated from her body and looked at Harry. She never found out if he had ever read her last thought, but she had to know. The green light was closing the distance between it and him.

There! Harry's eyes went wide. Then, slowly, the ends of his lips curled up and he smiled as the green light finally engulfed him. He never screamed or said a word, just accepted his fate. Hermione and Ron both looked at Voldemort who began screaming in agony. A string of light began to form between Harry's body and Voldemort's. All fights around them ceased immediately and watched as the string between them grew larger into a giant beam of light. Voldemort screamed louder trying everything with his wand to break the bond but nothing could ever break it.

Finally, it began to dim along with the shouts of pain from the Dark Lord. When the light had completely vanished, everyone looked at what remained of Tom Riddle, his limp body, dead.

Those who never knew Harry cheered in victory while those who were close to him bowed their heads and let silent tears fall down. Taking a look around her, Hermione saw the carnage for the first time. Hundreds of bodies lay dead with blood pouring out from every body part imaginable. Hermione couldn't take it anymore. Thinking as hard as she could, she received her wand, untied herself from the binding to the wall, and apparated far away. At this, the real Hermione felt the familiar tingling sensation as she was lifted to the pensieve back to the common room.

She couldn't help herself any longer. She cried her heart out more than she ever did into Ron's shoulder. He himself was allowing silent tears to flow freely down his face and land on the floor.

“He sacrificed himself for all of us.” Ron sobbed in a whisper. He planned all along to kill himself to save the damn world. He knew that he could never beat him…he knew the only way was to be killed by someone else causing both him and Voldemort to die.” He continued to let out silent tears as Hermione tried to steady herself. Though she attempted to talk, nothing came out and it was as if she were still the Hermione in the cavern, too weak to speak.

A tense silence engulfed the two and neither wished to talk. “Who actually fired that curse at him?”

“Snape” Hermione replied not really thinking about anything but Harry.

“What happened between you two just before he died?” Ron asked the one question Hermione wasn't sure she could answer. Without control, she let more tears fall and felt her heart rip into even more pieces if it were possible.

“I…I told hi…him…” Her voice was hoarse and raspy and barely audible. Her body was shaking uncontrollably but she didn't care. Taking another breath she started again. “I told him I…I loved him. He meant more to me than life itself. I knew he was the one from the day he saved me from that troll. I would never admit it in my youth, but I was head over heels for that man.” She was sobbing uncontrollably and shaking more violently than ever. “How could I have been so stupid? I should have told him sooner. I know this never would have happened if I had told him my true feelings and helped him with love to fight off Voldemort. Now all I know is my heart is tearing into a million pieces and the one thing I want in this world is death.”

“Hermione, it's alright, it wasn't your fault. Harry would have wanted you to move on. What was his reaction when you told him?” Ron asked, trying to be specifically careful around this topic.

She strained to remember what had actually happened. The whole purpose of going back into the pensieve was to finally find out his reaction and on the side, show Ron what had happened to Harry. “I'm not sure. I told him just as the curse was heading in his direction. I don't even know if he heard me.” She fell off the sofa ad slid onto the floor.

“And?” Ron questioned further.

“And what? He smiled. What the hell does that mean?! I'VE WAITED SEVEN DAMN YEARS TO POUR MY HEART OUT TO HIM AND WHAT DOES HE DO? He smiles!!” She screamed at the top of her lungs in frustration. At this point, the entire common room was watching in on the two best friends of Harry Potter and feeling sheer pity for Hermione.

“Ha, I told you she liked him!” one second year screamed to another.

Hearing this, Hermione stormed out the portrait hole with Ron close in pursuit. Looking around, she noticed it was morning already and they had wasted another sleepless night.

“Hermione!” She looked up to find the figure of Lupin. His eyes were still puffy for he too was remembering the life of his own wife. “They…they have Harry's body and believe you two should be the ones to close his coffin.” Remus choked. “We need to bury it as soon as possible before any Death Eaters who are still left try to do something crazy.”

As if Hermione hadn't had enough for one night, now she had to look back at her own love's body. Then she had to close the damn coffin to signify that he truly was gone. She continued to cry silently as both herself and Ron followed Lupin to the front of Hogwarts. As soon as she reached the front doors, she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the white coffin containing him. She couldn't believe there were any tears left to be shed but they came back stronger than ever.

Members of the order surrounded the coffin and Ron and Hermione slowly made their way to him. Ron allowed Hermione to have the honor and she swallowed hard. Looking over his body, she couldn't help but feel he was finally at peace.

By using the coffin for support, she leaned over him and let her lips brush Harry's forehead. She let a few more tears drop on his peaceful face before picking herself back up. She looked around and saw that everyone was urging her on and giving reassuring nods. Finally she looked back at Harry and muttered the two words she wished to never say in her life.

“Goodbye Harry.” And closed the coffin lid.

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