Until Midnight

Rosali

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 25/02/2006
Last Updated: 21/02/2014
Status: completed

After a very tiring months of fighting, Harry decides he cannot force his friends to keep living like that and so he asks them the most terrible thing: to leave him after the war is over and get on with their lives. But what happens when he realizes he doesn't want to make that sacrifice anymore? What happens when he realizes that Hermione and Ron are the most important things for him and that his life is empty without them? Without HER.

Chapters

1. Part I - I made it clear

2. Part II - Emptiness

3. Part III - Not yet, not ever

4. UM Alternate future - Part I

5. UM Alternate future - Part II

6. Part IV - Always together

1. Part I - I made it clear

Disclaimer: As you know, the characters from the HP Books are not mine or I would be filthy rich and publishing with a big company just like my idol, JK Rowling, lol. But the situations are mine! All mine! Mwahahaha!

UNTIL MIDNIGHT

Part One:

“I Made it Clear”

A/N: I don't think this is a typical structured fic, since it has no defined plot points and main conflict, but I wanted to write it anyway, at risk of it sucking, lol. There are also a couple of grammatical mistakes, but most are intentioned, as the story is told from Harry's PoV

Silence. It was over now. He could feel it in his guts but didn't even have the strength to celebrate… he felt like mourning, as a matter of fact, and he was sure he knew why. With the war over, he could finally have the life he'd so longed for, only that he didn't want that life anymore. He only wanted one thing, and he had already made it clear to them that he didn't want what she had to offer.

His birthday had come, it was midnight and Harry Potter was of age now. Two minutes past midnight, a faint glow surrounded Number Four, Privet Drive, and then hell break loose. He would have had a heart attack if he hadn't heard Hermione's admonishing voice above everyone else's for one second, after which it all went wild again. His friends had come to get him so he could leave the Dursleys for sure, of course not before they racked havoc in there for all those years Harry had been apart in the summers.

This would have been the happiest day of his life, if only he hadn't been so sure of what he was to do next. His friends had picked him up, oblivious of the muggles' complaints and opposition. They had set an imperturbable charm for the people outside the house, but inside fireworks echoed, butterbeer and firewhisky and laughter and joy was all around. Except he wasn't entirely there.

He excused himself from the crowd a moment; he couldn't bear it anymore and went up to his room. He kicked out Fred and Angelina and sunk into his bed, as deep as he could. He would have made it into a people-proof bubble if only he'd known how to do it. At that moment, he hated himself for doing what he was about to do that very night, which was leave everything behind despite his promises to his friends and go end this once and for all so he could finally have a life of his own, apart from those who called him hero, those who called him “the one”, those who simply pitied him and especially those who had only stood by his side out of sheer loyalty, and whose lives the war had taken since Dumbledore's demise.

Putting a sound-proof charm on the outside of his room (something he DID know how to do), he just stayed there for what seemed like two seconds in Harry's mind, but in reality it had been about half an hour; enough for his best friends to notice him gone.

There was a knock on the door. Nothing. The charm was working. Another knock. Nothing. The people outside were getting impatient, and even worried, so they blasted the door away.

Harry jumped, pulling his wand at ready out of instinct. “For the bleeding blazes, what the hell is wrong with you!” he screamed at his friends.

“You idiot, Harry!” Hermione snapped at him. “We thought something had happened to you!”

“Nothing has happened, Mione, I just put up a charm, that's all,” Harry retorted with a resigned air.

“Well, next time, a `Do Not Disturb' sign might help so we don't get all panicked,” she said with an annoyed eyeroll.

“And anyway, what you doing up here, all by yourself? There is a party in your name going on downstairs, if you didn't notice…” Ron told him, stuffing something that didn't look too healthy in his mouth and handing Harry a glass of firewhisky. “You can legally drink now,” he said with a cheeky grin.

Harry put up his hand to turn the glass down but thought better of it and drank the whole thing in one big gulp.

“Harry!” Hermione exclaimed in surprise.

“What? I am of age now!” he replied, annoyed at her.

“Yes, but you haven't eaten since lunch and it'll go straight to your head”

“How do you know I haven't had lunch?” he asked in defiance and Hermione pointed at the cold plate of food resting on Harry's desk and he smiled sheepishly.

“Now,” she sat next to him, “what's the matter?” she asked her friend.

“Nothing, it was just getting too loud”

“You never seemed to mind loud whenever we won the Quidditch Cup…” Ron pointed out helpfully (to Hermione's cause), and earned a glare from his best friend.

“Well, I minded now!” he provided hastily.

“And since when did you become such a hermit, Harry?” she kept pushing.

“Aw, come off it, Mione!” he now sided with Harry. “Get off the man's back!” he said and it was now time for Hermione to glare at Ron, and the red-headed boy shrunk under her gaze.

He looked at one, and then at the other and made a face at them. “All right, fine, just don't bite my head off!” he muttered, resigning himself to let the two argue as his glass refilled automatically.

“It's nothing, really. We should get back down…” Harry said after a rather awkward pause and stood, trying to duck the question again.

“Hold it there, Mr…” Hermione commanded and Harry responded with an exasperated gesture. Too good to be true, he said to himself. “Fine!” Hermione continued and made a glass of firewhisky materialize in her hand, drowning the content in the blink of an eye, leaving the two boys open-mouthed. “What?” she said defensively.

“Nothing,” Harry and Ron said in unison.

“I know how to drink too, you know?”

“I can certainly see that…” Ron commented with a smirk and made Harry snicker.

“Oh, come off it!”

“Refill, please!” Harry called to the air and the three glasses were now filled again. He smiled at the situation and was glad for the new firewhisky if it would prevent the two from start bickering again. He watched them for a split second and presumed he could give himself this little time of `normalness' before telling them what he was about to do that very night.

After they had finished their third glass, the three were quite happy indeed; talking about trivialities and vane stuff. They went quiet for a moment, all three staring at the bottom of their empty glasses.

“Ginny?” Harry suddenly asked, surprised she hadn't come up too and in hopes of avoiding the subject he was sure was next one in the `agenda'.

“Downstairs, with Fred and George,” Ron provided. “Why?”

Harry shrugged. “Nothing, just wondering”

“Why did you break up with her anyway? Like, really?” Hermione questioned. “She is sad, you know?”

Wrong move, Harry told himself immediately and didn't know which was worse; the Ginny subject or the `why' he had left the party and wouldn't come down at the beginning of the night.

”I had to… just look at what's happened in only a month!” Harry exclaimed, in reference of their classmates and Order members that had been killed the past month. “And it is only starting…” he said darkly.

“Harry, you can't save everyone, you have to grasp that concept,” Hermione tried to reason with him.

“Everything is NOT your fault, they could have been killed for Merlin knows how many other reasons!” Ron backed her.

“How can you say that?! They seem to be picking you one by one until they get to… to you!” he managed.

“And you can't keep all of us by your side at all times, that is physically impossible, Harry!”

“Unless I do exactly what he wants!” Harry finally let out and left the other two open-mouthed.

Hermione was the first one to react. “What?! You are not honestly thinking of doing what I think you are thinking of doing, are you?” she said with wide brown eyes.

Harry stayed silent as Ron gaped at the two, trying to decipher what she had just said and failing miserably. “You are not really thinking of going to him, are you? You can't kill him right now, Harry, you know it!”

“No, but I can get closer to him by looking for the bleeding horcruxes and destroying them until I get to him,” he explained.

“Harry, this is not a detective movie, that doesn't happen in reality,” she tried to reason without success.

“Well, I'll make it one because there is no other choice!” Harry nearly screamed.

“Of course there is! We can help you!”

“NO! That's why I'm leaving!” he yelled and immediately gasped and took a hand to his mouth. He hadn't wanted it to come out this way.

The other two stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Ron looked just betrayed and Hermione was apparently studying him. And then she took a few steps forward and slapped him hard across the face. “You are such a goddamned liar, Harry Potter! And a coward!” she said with tears welled up in her eyes.

Ron flinched and jumped in Harry's defence. “Hey! That was a bit too much, don't you think?”

Hermione turned to him. “Have you no clue, Ron? He is leaving us… for real. He is not going to keep the promise he made only a month ago. He is running away because he is scared,” she said desperately and Ron looked from Hermione to Harry.

“Is that true?” he asked a dumbfounded Harry that had only managed to take a hand to his injured cheek. The other boy nodded and Ron's blue eyes widened. “That is not possible, you promised, Harry, and you have never broken a promise,” he said and sounded like a little boy. “Besides, you certainly can't do it alone”

“Gee, thanks for the vow of confidence, Ron,” Harry said rather angrily.

“He is right, the little chance you have of surviving this whole thing is immensely diminished if you go by yourself”

“But I won't have to worry about you getting killed”

“We are dead anyway if you get yourself killed!” Ron snapped at him.

“I simply can't all right?” he said, turning around as to not face them.

“That's why he is a coward,” Hermione told Ron but was speaking to Harry.

“I am not!” Harry said, turning around to face her. “You have any idea what it is living like I do? Fearing for the ones you love. The ones you don't know call you their savior. The others look at you like some hero you certainly are not. And the other ones, simply pity me, how that for a life, eh, Hermione? Assuming, of course, I survive! I can't do it, Mione, I can't!” he screamed at her and his voice broke,

“Oh, poor me!” Hermione spat angrily. “This is not what it is about, and you know it, Harry?”

“Of course it is!” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Fine, suit yourself, but you won't go by yourself, I will make sure you don't,” she threatened.

“Oh, yeah? What are you going to do, put a tracking charm in me?” he defied.

“As a matter of fact, a device, yes. And one you already have in your body, by the way,” she said angrily,

“What? I can't believe you—“ he started but was cut short by Ron.

Ron had been staring at the two as they discussed, and for a moment there, they appeared to him as an old married couple arguing about something stupid. “Hey! You are stealing my role, Harry!” he tried to lighten the mood, seeing as this was getting a bit too steamed for his taste.

Harry turned to him, as if only just realizing his best friend was standing right next to them. For a moment, he flushed, for he felt a strange sensation as his head came to terms with the discussion they'd just shared.

“That's better, isn't it?” he asked, surprised that he had played peacemaker for once. Silence. “All right, I get it, not much into a chatty mood…” he bit his lip.

“I have to finish packing,” he said darkly and Ron sobered instantly.

“I am sorry, mate, but I am with Mione, here, I won't let you go alone either,” he said, dead serious.

Harry's mouth dropped at the statement and he shook his head. “I would have liked it if you had only supported me in this one, Ron,” he said angrily.

The redhead shrugged. “I can't. I agree completely with her”

“Well, that's a first...” Harry commented sarcastically.

“Oh, don't be so thick, Harry!” Hermione snapped.

“Fine! I won't go alone…” he told them and stopped for a moment, pondering what he was about to ask his friends to do for him. “But I need to ask you for something,” he said in a soft voice.

“What is it?” Hermione asked, coming closer to him, as if what he was about to say would be a secret just for her.

“I—I don't know how to say this but… I would like for you to just leave when this is over…”

A/N: I guess it isn't the one-shot I had originally thought of. It will be a two-shot because otherwise it would be too long. I hope you enjoyed, looking forward to hearing if you thought this sucked, lol.

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2. Part II - Emptiness

Disclaimer: As you know, the characters from the HP Books are not mine or I would be filthy rich and publishing with a big company just like Mrs. Rowling, lol. But the situations are mine! All mine! Mwahahaha!

UNTIL MIDNIGHT

Part Two:

“Emptiness “

A/N: Two centuries, I know. Big, no, ENORMUS writer's block + a million things to do (the old excuse) have kept me in agony because I haven't been able to write anything!

I know it is short but you've got to start somewhere after a fall like the one I'm experiencing, and please forgive me if this is not as good a work as you are used to from me. I'll get back in shape soon, I hope.

Blow, ouch. He could feel the pain by just looking at her cold, yet desolate expression. “I—I'm sorry, I—“

“No, it's all right, Harry, I understand,” she said softly, “and I will respect that.”

Goodness, that was worse than a kick in the delicate parts. Harry looked down and nodded. “Thank you,” he said half-heartedly.

“I don't, really, but I have always backed you up, mate,” Ron put in in a voice that was about to crack, but it didn't.

Harry looked up at his best male friend and forced a smile. “You haven't.” The smile came more genuinely as he shared it with Ron.

The red-haired boy responded the gesture. “But that doesn't count! Those were... special situations,” he defended, laughing.

“No they weren't! You were mean and insuffereable!”

“I was not! And you weren't exactly Mr.Congeniality, I must add.”

At this, Harry started to laugh and looked at where Hermione was a moment ago to share the laugh about the coincidence with the muggle movie, but she wasn't there anymore. Deep emptiness filled him for a moment and then he shook his head and turned to Ron. “Where did she go?”

The boy frowned and looked around. “No idea,” he shrugged.

Almost immediately, Harry turned and walked out. He knocked on the bathroom door, bad time, Fred and Angelina again. After a “get a room,” and a “you kicked us out of it” in response, he closed the door with a shiver and a laugh. Back to the quest. Downstairs, two million people asking him where he'd been and one more million pats in the back later, he reached the kitchen to find Ginny snogging Neville.

“Ginny!”

“What?!”

“Never mind.” He looked away and walked out. Where the hell has she gone to? He was staring to get worried. Back upstairs. Dudley's room. Nothing. The Dursleys are in Vernon's room, so fat chance.

She couldn't be that stupid, could she?

As he hurried outside the backyard and crossed Magnolia Crescent, something deep inside his chest was choking him. A sensation he had only felt once before. Complete and total anguish for Hermione. What if something happened to her? Merlin knows he would go crazy and that his insides would be consumed into the hole that would be there instead. He hurried his pace.

In less than two minutes, Harry had reached the turn into Magnolia Road and was heading toward the play park, when he saw brown hair flying with the wind and a thin scarf around the young woman's neck. He hurried and was about five meters from reaching Hermione, when a red flash of light hit him square on the chest, and he was certainly not prepared for an attack, so he couldn't deflect it. And everything went dark.

Big brown, scared eyes were looking at naked green ones when he opened them. He saw two Hermiones and squeezed his eyes to clear his vision. Finally there was only one and he heard bits and parts of a neverending sentence: “...come running... you scared the light out of me... what were you thinking...”

“Mione...” he muttered, “what happened?” and he was choked by a tight embrace.

Her cheeks flushed and she bit her bottom lip. “Yes, I just heard footsteps and just attacked, without looking! I'm sorry, Harry.”

“You stunned me?” he asked, incorporating at last and sitting up.

She took a deep breath and kissed his forehead. “I am so sorry, I didn't mean to attack you,” she finally got out and recieved a bewildered look from her friend, who was rubbing his right side temple. “I thought something had happened to you, your head bumped hard against the bins, and you weren't waking up...” her verborrea overwhelmed his still idle senses.

“Mione... please stop.” He tried to sit up and got a bit dizzy, but Hermione caught him before he fell back down. “Calm down,” he whispered and took a hand to his head, where a bump had already grown big.

“What were you thinking walking outside at this time of night, by yourself?” he snapped and Hermione looked away. He pulled her face back and saw some tears brightening her eyes. “Mione? What's wrong?” he tried pathetically.

Hermione brushed the tears away quickly and shook her head. “Nothing, nothing, really. I just wanted to come out, and I was alert.”

“Yeah, I can certainly see that,” he said sarcastically and took a hand to his head again. “But why are you crying?”

“I'm not, don't worry.”

“I think I deserve a little more credit. Don't you?”

She half smiled and nodded. “I'm sorry, you just took me by surprise with that request, that's all.”

Harry sighed; he knew that's what it was about. “But you do understand, don't you? It's not like I don't love you or anything, I just need to—I don't know, let you guys grow by yourselves... wait., that didn't come out right,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “just that I feel this war has taken too much of you and in many ways it's my fault, so I want to... like... give you the chance... wait, that didn't come out right either, oh I suck at this,” he complained and Hermione laughed, raising her hand to his face.

“I understand, don't worry?” she said softly. “And I am not going to try and convince you otherwise, I can see you made up your mind and it won't be of any use for me to try and talk some sense into you,” she laughed again. The sound of her laugh was really adorable. “I guess I just—“ she stop and stood, turning half her back on Harry, who followed her lead. “I guess I just thought we would be together after the war, that's all,” she stopped and a rather shocked silence followed. “I mean... all of us, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I do, don't worry,” Harry hurried to say and hugged her from the back, kissing her cheek. “For what it's worth, I don't know what I'll do without you guys, assuming I survive, of course.”

She pushed him away. “Of course you will, don't be stupid, Harry!”

“All right, we will...” he gave her and smiled a bit. “Should we go back? It's not safe here.” He offered her his hand and she took it.

What Harry didn't notice was the shiver and blush that rushed to Hermione's face when he hugged her from behind and kissed her. Would he ever?

A/N: Update soon, I think. It'll be a three-shot now, I got a bit carried away with the “fluff”. I hope you enjoy and please R&R.

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3. Part III - Not yet, not ever

UNTIL MIDNIGHT

Part Three:

“Not yet, not ever“

11:42. They would be gone from his life in less than twenty minutes. The two most important people in his life were packing and he just waited, his look lost in the wall where the picture he had been staring at —for the past half hour at least— hung loosely.

He heard noises of the people moving upstairs in both rooms: the one that had once been his and the one that had been his parents'. Yes, Godric's Hollow was his home now; the place where it had all began for Harry had been the place where it had ended for everyone.

The small island was little from completely wrecked... deserted. His sanctuary, his quiet place, the one he'd dreamed of for so long, but it felt like his prision right now, and it probably was.

A year had passed since his request, and with his recent findings about himself had made his initial determination to dissappear from their lives far gone. He wanted so bad to hold on to them, to her, yet he couldn't, and he wouldn't. They would be gone in ten minutes now and he sat there, waiting; hardly aware of anything but the picture in front of him and the movement upstairs.

Slowly, his eyes drifted to the ceiling and he stared as if he had some sort of x-ray vision to help his will get up from that couch and say what he really wanted. Suddenly, a CRACK of something breaking and Harry jumped, his wand already at hand, and he popped soundlessly out of the sitting room and into James and Lily's bedroom, where the sound had come from.

“What's the—“ he stopped when he saw Hermione collapsed, a thin thread of blood coming out of her hands and knees, and Ron holding her tight. Jealousy was the first sensation, and then fear. He quickly knelt next to his two best friends. “What happened?” he asked softly, afraid to touch her. After the last battle, the three of them had ended in really bad shape, inches from the other side, but Hermione had been the most injured and she had only gotten back on her feet two days ago.

There was shattered glass all around her and Ron, and Harry could make out the crystal frame he had given her for her last birthday. Hermione was shaking; her hair masked her face from him, and Ron covered most of her back with his own body. “Nothing, Harry, please go down. We will be downstairs in a couple of minutes,” he answered, looking staight into his friend's eyes.

“What do you mean? She's bleeding!” the young man protested, coming closer to the two, but was blocked by Ron's arm and a pleading look.

“Just go now, please, she will be fine.”

“Like hell she will!” he started angrily.

“Go!” Ron finally ordered, not leaving much space for discussion on the subject, and Harry dissappeared.

“He's gone, please stop crying. It kills me to see you like that.” Harry heard from under the disillusionment charm.

I can't believe he's doing this! Harry thought angrily; he felt so betrayed right now. What did you expect? It's not like anyone knows about this. You barely accept it! A voice responded in his head and he shook it; he didn't want to think things like that... on how stupid he had been. No! The voice responded firmly, you want them to have what you have taken from them!

“I... just can't believe he can be so selfish!” she said between sobs of slow calmness.

This phrase took him out of his raverie. Selfish? How could that possibly be! He wanted them to have a life! Away from all this that had taken more than half their lives and therefore away from him.

“You know that's not true, Mione. He's just trying to do what's best.” Suddenly, Harry felt a deep sympathy for his best male friend.

“For whom!” Hermione replied to Ron angrily. “He says he is so good and noble but he's not!” Tears started streaming down her face again, and Ron brushed them away with brotherly care.

“Hermione, stop and think what you are saying. You know that's not what you mean.”

“And how do you know?” Harry felt like leaving, he was so hurt by her words that he thought he'd break down at that exact moment, but he didn't; he stayed invisible for reasons he didn't even know.

“Because I know you are speaking with something other than your mind.”

“That's not important, we'll be gone in two minutes and I'll never hear from him again.”

Ron did not know what to respond to this and he just sighed, falling back and away from Hermione. “I know, it blows.”

Up until that moment, he didn't know how much pain human body could take. One would have thought that with so much sorrow, the armor would break and he would collapse or something, but he didn't and only apparated silently back down to the sitting room, with the pictures, all the company he would have from now on.

The twelve o'clock bells started ringing in the old clock in the sitting room. Harry looked up with a blank face. A moment later, they came down. Hermione was all composed and quiet; she sure looked better than he felt at the moment.

“We're ready to go, mate,” Ron started forward, to hug his friend and stopped, looking back at Hermione, who didn't say anything.

“You sure you got everything?” Harry heard his own voice from faraway, as if it was someone else's in the next room.

“Yes, everything,” he stopped and directed another glance at the burnette, who nodded only barely. “We—uhm... we left a couple of things upstairs, but they are for you,” he hurried to say before Harry said anything.

He didn't know how to respond to this; he just managed to get out an “oh... thanks” and that was it.

Ron nodded and hugged Harry hard, not wanting to let go. “Right... you know that this is not our choice,” he said unemotionally, as if he had already drowned all of them someplace else.

Harry pulled away and looked deep into his friend's eyes, nodding slowly. “I know, but it's for the best,” he whispered. “Please take care,” he looked past Ron's shoulder, “take care of her, I beg you,” the man said, showing for a split second that same shattered armor he had thought of upstairs.

The redhead nodded and looked down. “Why are you doing this?” he finally asked. “We both know that—“ he was cut off by Harry's hand in front of him.

“I haven't done anything but hold you back, it is for the best.” He repeated the phrase he'd been telling himself for the past year.

“That's not true!” Ron protested angrily, saying what he really thought of this for the first time in a year. “We are here because we chose to!”

“It's not like you had a choice, Ron.”

“Yes we did, we could have gone with all the others that stayed back and didn't fight.”

“You couldn't, you were already in too deep and you know it.”

“We got there because we wanted, Harry, not because you told us to,” he almost spat out.

Lowering his voice, Harry located himself only inches from Ron's face. “Ron! Please! I know you don't understand it, but you'll be grateful later, when you see you've accomplished the life you were always meant to have,” he pleaded in a whisper and directed a life saving look at Hermione. “The both of you,” Harry finished and looked down for a moment. “I need you to back me in this, all right? I asking you to please do it,” he said at last and turned his green eyes at Ron.

“But why?” he asked like a little boy unwilling to listen to his mother.

“Please, I can't do this without you,” he said in a voice that sounded so vulnerable it was almost painful.

The young man stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity and then nodded heavilly, hugging Harry again. “I love you, mate. Take care of yourself,” he finally said and went out. “I'll be waiting outside, Mione,” he told the girl, maybe in hopes that she would talk Harry into sense, but given the situation, it was highly unlikely.

Harry walked towards Hermione, doing his biggest effort to not run and hold on to her forever and ever. He had only just found out, and they would have to leave; he had asked them to leave. It wasn't fair, and he was a stupid ass for not seeing it before. But now it was too late, and he would have to continue on with this; it was the best for them, and he loved them, he kept on repeating to himself.

Finally, he got where she was and managed a smile he was sure she made out in less than a second. “So, this is it... you're off to your new life,” he tried being excited and making her excited, but knew it was a pathetic attempt.

“Oh, yeah, brilliant. My new life,” she forced a pitiable shot at a smile too.

“Listen, I—“ have loved you for so long I don't even know and I don't want you to leave, but I kind of don't have a choice, so please work with me on this... “Thank you for everything, I am glad you are finally all right,” he said out loud and leaned in to hug her and smell her hair one more time, but she pulled away instinctvely, as if he were going to break her with one touch. “What's the matter? Are you hurt?” he asked and regretted it a second later.

“Am I—“ she laughed. “If I am hurt? No, not at all, you're just taking away a piece of us because you think it is better this way. Yes, I am perfectly fine with it,” she said sarcastically.

Why can't you see that I love you! “I didn't know you were the sarcastic type...” was what he said.

“Maybe I wasn't till two minutes ago,” she became more and more angry.

“And maybe, just maybe, you are being incredibly hard headed, don't you reckon?”

Hermione stayed silent, glaring at him, a facade of stone that fell a moment later and she took a hurried step towards him. “Why are you doing this, Harry? It is not right!” she said, her eyes getting overbright. “All those promises, that we were always going to be together, were they hollow?” she rested her hands on his chest, wanting to hit him hard or just touch him.

“What are you talking about? I have NEVER lied to you, Hermione, not once! Why can't you understand this is the best for you, for us!” he said, his hands on her arms, barely keeping his voice in check, hanging on for dear life to the resolution not even he believed in anymore.

She pulled away abruptly and pushed him. “I don't know who you are anymore!”

“And you think I do? That is why you need to leave. You need to find who you are, and so do I.”

“But we're not us without each other! We can be us again!” she pleaded and each word that left her mouth killed a little bit more of Harry, but she just couldn't see it.

“You know that is not possible, we're not the same people we were seven years ago, and guess what, that's not about to change!“ he didn't even know what he was defending anymore; all he could focus in were the crystal tears daring to make their way down such a strong person's face.

“Fine, Harry, we are already out,” she said, gathering herself with dignity and throwing her small bag over her shoulder, walking out. She stopped at the door and rested a hand on the frame, only barely turning around. “At least we got something straight,” her voice broke for a moment, but she continued quickly, “and you won't hear from us again, I promise that,” were her last words and she dissappeared into the darkness outside, where Ron was waiting for her to apparate away and out of his life.

He watched her go, his head not even processing what she had just said. He had to bite his bottom lip to keep the tears from his own eyes. The young man just looked away and then went upstairs, unfeeling, empty, barely holding himself together.

When he got to his room, there was a small box on the bed. He pushed his feet forward and slumped next to the box. Peeking inside, he saw three things: a picture, a ring and a small round object with runes along the sides.

Harry frowned; he recognized each of these objects. He picked up the picture; it had been taken little over a year ago; the day of his party, when he had condemned the three of them. He couldn't even begin to describe how much he hated himself right now for that stupid request and vow he'd taken. Yes, he was selfish, what the hell! He shook his head and moved on to the next object.

It was the Flogoscone he'd given Ron the day of the final battle, when they had to part ways; one to save his friends and the other to face Lord Voldemort. “Be safe,” he had said as he tossed the item at his friend. “As much as I can, mate” Ron had responded with a nervous smile. Finally, Ron had left the opposite way of Harry with an “I'll give this to you to keep you safe when I'm gone and you are on your own”. And he had returned it now.

Harry's eyes started itching and he took a breath to calm himself, but it was pointless, for the next object was a complete “I feel totally betrayed” statement: it was the ring Harry had given Hermione on the Yule Graduation Ball last year. A “Merry Christmas and farewell school” present. Harry had spent over a month looking for the perfect gift for her, and when he saw her face when she opened it, he knew she was the one. And she was returning it now.

His hands stopped responding, the ring and the Flogoscone fell to the blue carpeted floor and he watched as each of the objects rolled away from each other, far from his feet. He stared. What the hell am I doing? Is this really right? His eyes burned with the tears he had only cried two or three times in his wizardring life. They are leaving, forever. I have successfully sent away the two people that have kept me going all these years, and I have successfully assassined the love she might have once had for me. He told himself, unable to stop his eyes' crying.

If you let them go, this will be it, there is no turning back. “No!” he said resolutely, “it isn't time yet... ever,” he added and stood, wordlessly urging both objects on the floor to his hand and holding them tight between his fingers. They must be getting to apparition point, he thought and hurried downstairs, taking his wand in the way.

At some point in the past ten minutes, it had started pouring; making it difficult for Harry to see as he ran down the path he had so many times in the previous weeks. “Wait!” he screamed to the night, somehow hoping they would listen to his cry and wait, not that he could ask as much at this point.

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4. UM Alternate future - Part I

A/N: Not an action fic, just warning you before you start; most of it revolves around Hermione's thoughts (written in italics but you probably know that already from my other writings, lol).

Please try to keep up with Hermione, or else you will be lost in the fic, and I wouldn't want that, would I? When I reread it, it helped me to hear her thinking in my head.

Down the hall, paid the toll

- Part One of the Alternative future -

The telly was on, the news. Same shit, different day. Sports section, maybe he'll be on, they won the World Cup after all.

-... for the second year in a row, England took home the World Cup. It is only fair to point out that the past...

I can't believe that the news is all the excitement I get... and the sports! Unbelievable! Things were way too quiet for her taste. She had wanted this for so long and now it was just... boring, and lonely. Separate paths, I only get to see you once a month, and nothing. But then again, you were always good at hiding everything...

-...quidditch star, Harry Potter, managed a...

Her eyes focused on the screen and she huffed. Pathetic.

-... that maneuver had never been achieved in Quidditch, I must add...

Why do you always have to be the first and the best?

After the war had finalized, things had changed drastically between them, and even with all the pschology books she'd read, she had never really got it. When was the last dance, the last kiss, the last goodbye, I don't know.

He appeared in the report, all smiling and proud. He looks happy at least, does he ever think of me? Probably not.

She sighed and turned the telly off, not even listening to what he was saying. How long has it been? I can't really remember. She stood and took her cup of tea.

Though she was pretty much addicted to coffee, at nights, when she wasn't working, she would rather have a cup of tea with some milk. The soothing of the soul, she thought as she smelled the liquid.

Into the bedroom, the bed perfectly set, the pillows in their right places; everything in her dresser was ordered either by size or by product line or nature. She remembered how chaotic it was when he'd lived there and laughed. Great Merlin! That was so annoying! She laughed again.

On the armchair in the corner sat her briefcase and she smiled. She couldn't say she wasn't successful; neither could she legitimately state she wasn't happy. She had all she'd ever wanted, an international award included. She liked her life, but sometimes melancholy sat on her heart like a veil that fell every now and again. I imagine you can't let go so easily after things like that...

The calendar. December the 20th, Christmas craziness was an everyday issue already; it didn't bother her that much anymore; not after the past two weeks at least. Their monthly reunion would be in a couple of days; they had reserved in one of the fanciest restaurants in the whole of London and for a couple years now, each of the trio had paid an equal share of the check.

Sand coloured, silk, last Christmas' gift, right from China. The material was so soft and cozy on her skin... just like his touch. Wonder if he's still dating... what was her name again? Rebecca. She seemed nice enough, I guess. Pretty Snoopy socks, it was already cold at this time of year...

They would be exchanging presents and she wondered if she should have gotten something else for each. I wonder if they expect it... She shoved her slippers off and lay on the bed, pulling the sheets above her body, staring at the ceiling. I s'ppose it's good to remember every now and then...

The lights went off and she drifted to a peaceful sleep; the kind of sleep only memories could leave...

Wand-alarm. Grunt. Bloody hell, I hate these days. She entered the shower. How I hate the cramps! She would have to be in a good vibe today. Cup of Caramel Macchiato. Big meeting with the bosses and gathering with the boys. She finally got round to dressing and starting her day.

Couldn't have gone worse. She got yelled at because one of her assistants mismatched a number and all the presentation was disastrous. Do I have to do it all myself? Sulking down the hall after yelling at poor Paul. A message in the desk. Good Merlin! I'll be alone with him for over an hour!

That can't be too bad, can it?

Home at last! Getting ready for tonight. Fancy restaurant, pretty dress. Green maybe? He always liked the green one. End-of-day shower and getting dressed. I think I look beautiful; she laughed at herself and took her purse, along with the guys' gifts to apparate near the restaurant.

He was already sitting on the table, a glass of red wine sitting on his right side. He never got that one right, Hermione couldn't help the smile that crept to her lips despite the horrible day. He's always looked great in a tux. She walked down the hall to the Dining Room and Harry stood, a sweet smile on his face and a look she had always loved. God, he is handsome!

—I know you don't like to wait —he smiles and pulls out the chair for her, sitting down next.

—Glad you do. It's good to see you. —He looks down for a split second and back up at her. She notices, no one else would.

—It is.

—Saw you on the news… —he blushes a bit. Amazing how after so long, he still blushes for that.

Conversation is distant, they are not entirely confortable.

—Yeah, me too. —The both laugh at the idiotic comment.

—Ron is going to be late. He's doing great, isn't he?

—Yeah, the department is lucky to have him.

—But they wanted you... —he looks away again and takes a hand to the back of his head. He doesn't like to talk about that, I know.

—Yeah, well. What can one do...

He called for the waiter five minutes ago, and he looks up to see him coming. I'm making him more unconfortable, great.

—Pac Pow Hen, right?

—Indeed, kind sir —Hermione tries to lighten the mood. He hasn't forgotten what I like to eat here.

Harry smiles at her and turns to the waiter. —So, Pac Pow Hen for the lady, and I will have...

—Pekinese Duck, right?

—Yes, Pac Pow Hen and Pekinese Duck. And a teapot of Jasmine, please.

The waiter nods and walks away. An awkward silence falls.

—So, how's the league?

—It's all right. You know, training, games, a couple monthly meetings with the other owners…

—And Rebecca?

Harry looks up, taken aback, and looks down again. —Not with her anymore.

—Oh! Sorry to hear that, you looked good together.

—That was the problem, we only looked —he looks up and smiles innocently— that was all she was... we ran out of subjects soon, and she wasn't that good...

—All right, enough information!

He laughs and looks down. —Sorry.

—Never mind.

-What do you know of Ron? How is he doing with the Heading?

—It's good. We were out the other day, he got a little wasted and... well, you know him. He talks.

—Told you about the position again, huh?

—Yeah, had to tell him again. I don't want that.

Another awkward silence falls.

—Guess he never forgot they asked me to be there first… —he says quietly, alack of anything else.

I can't believe we have nothing else to talk about... it didn't use to be like this. She thinks with sadness. Guess I'll have to follow up with this.

—You know Ron… but he is happy, he's done great. He and Luna are about to celebrate four years already.

—And we are both going to die alone —Harry jokes, but it doesn't feel as a joke to her at all. He realizes and tries to fix it. —What happened to the bloke you were dating? Blacksedan?

—Baksetzen, —Hermione laughs— Remember McLaggen?

—Ugh! How could I forget him? He drove me crazy!

—He was pushy, wasn't he?

—He wasn't nice to you, —he says before he can stop himself and makes a double take. Hermione can't help but smile. —Yeah, he thought he was the captain, always wanting me to do the things he wanted and tell…

Hermione sees his blushing and decides to put him out of his misery. This last Freudean failed-act made her feel good. —Well, Sam was like that.

—Poor thing! —Harry laughs along.

—He always wanted to drag me to his mates' wild parties and things. At 28! Can you believe that?

—And you hate parties.

—Yeah, I would very much… —Hermione continues and stops when hearing Harry's voice saying what she was about to say.

—You would very much prefer a small reunion in…

—In a friend's house, indeed, —she says. He never took me somewhere I didn't want to go.

—Never did that… except that time of the gala.

—And I hated you for it!

—But you had a great time in the end. And you didn't come out as stuck up— he stops and continues before Hermione can protest. —which you would have if you hadn't come.

—Not true!

—Of course it's true! Again, but you had a great time, didn't you?

—Because I was with you! —Crap! Did I say that out loud? Apparently so… she thinks when seeing Harry look towards the kitchen, to the waiter bringing the Jasmine pot to the table.

Silence.

Merlin! I'm getting tired of the silences!

When the waiter is gone, Harry serves some to Hermione, smiling shyly at her. —You did that to me more than once to if I remember correctly. —He tries to move the conversation forward.

—Only because you were pretty much a hermit back then.

—And you always kicked that out of me, —he smiles— You made it easier, if I have to be honest. Always distracted me when I was getting overwhelmed, —he adds with melancholy Hermione fails to see.

—You would have run away so many times otherwise.

—We had good times, didn't we?

Hermione stares at him and nods, no words to reply to this. Too many things in her head.

—Mione?

She shakes her head. —Right! Yes, we did.

—Sorry, didn't mean to…

—It's nothing, I just got distracted. —Big fat liar, she calls herself. I still don't understand.

—It was for the best, remember?

—What? In which reality? —her cover starts to fall.

—You, me… our lives?

The subject is getting there. And I am sure he is going to brush it away as soon as it gets a bit complicated, she adds annoyed.

—The lives we had planned you mean?

—The lives we had ahead, I mean.

—Of course. A flat bought, moving in together almost as soon as war was over, jobs near home and near the ones we loved… I know. —You look away, clear of the damage.

She looks at his profile, looking outside, hoping to see Ron's car pull over near the restaurant. Anger starts to flare inside of her.

Harry turns to stare at her. —Are you in your days, Mione? —he asks out of nowhere.

—What? —she asks, taken aback.

—You get angry all of a sudden.

Now she is getting angry. —All of a sudden? Not likely, Harry. —Apparently, he got the indirect.

—That was just a dream, —he responds calmly to the unfinished subject.

—It was our dream.

He stays quiet for a moment. —It was the dream of three teenagers that knew nothing but each other, Hermione.

—It would have been great, —she says coldly.

—For a while only…

-Why? What failed, Harry? - Hermione asks, finally unable to contain herself, craving for some answers and knowing that the moment Ron got there, the subject would be forgotten.

—Nothing, we just had to find our ways.

—Apart? Were we holding you back? —her eyes start to get over bright, between pain and irritation, her will is failing her.

At that moment, Harry starts to lose pose as well; he realizes he is hurting her. —No! I never wanted us to be apart…

—But?

—What do you mean but?

—There is always a “but”.

—Well, there isn't.

Doing an enormous effort, Hermione calms herself and tries to lead his thought into what she wants to hear. —Then, what was it?

—I told you back then Mione, you and Ron.

—No, you didn't Harry.

—You said you knew. —For the first time, the subject of the promise Harry made them take ten years ago was coming up.

—Right, I was just trying to be supportive. And still, you were the one to break the promise, remember?

—I…

Nothing to say now, huh? You know I am right

—I couldn't…

—And then you backed away.

Hermione saw Harry flushing; he always did that when under pressure

—I realized why I'd asked you to leave in the first place.

—And why was that, huh Harry? —she defies the man she loves so much. This is it, really.

—We knew nothing, you had to go your way, and so did Ron.

He sticks to his story. Ugh! So stubborn! —That is so not true, and you know it, Harry. If you are trying to fool me, you know you're in to losing side.

He searches his head desperately for an answer and finds none. He sags. —It was just too much —he tries urgently to continue and for a moment; she sees in him a flicker of doubt as to what to say next.

—Too much what, Harry? —I know I am pushing. He hates to be pushed.

—Please stop, Hermione. —Harry says quietly, regaining his composure once more.

Is it too late? Nothing to salvage.

—No, Hermione! Please don't think that.

—What? —she asks, taken from her concentration to not cry. She realizes. —Harry Potter, don't use your mind-reading thing on me!

—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…

Silence again.

—Well? Is it? —she finally asks.

—Is it what?

—Too late? —Silence. He is blank… I guess that is a “yes”.

—I… —Nothing to say. — No, it's… —the waiter comes with their food

The meaning to our words of love has disappeared.

* * *

A/N: The first idea came to me from “Friend or Foe” by T.A.T.U., and you probably recognized a few lines from the song in the fic. R&R please!

Here is the link for the original story: http://fanfiction.portkey.org/index.php?act=read&storyid=5803

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5. UM Alternate future - Part II

A/N: My computer broke and only yesterday I managed to get the tech to fix it. I am updating this and not What is Love? or The Untold Tragedy because this chapter was almost finished and it was the final part of the Alternate future proposed at the beginning of Until Midnight. This Alternate Future is detached from the chapter in which Ron and Hermione take off from Godric's Hollow. Remember that the Italics are Hermione's thoughts and please enjoy!

Until Midnight

==================================

I promise

— Part two of the Alternate Future —

===========================================

Another silence.

Tears are on the verge of falling now. I won't even give him that.

—Right. I see. Take care, Harry. —Hermione says coldly and stands almost knocking the chair back. She takes a breath. Compose yourself, Granger! He doesn't love you like you love him; that is clear, so take the dignity you have left and exit now.

—Hermione, please don't —he stands as well, his hand outstretched.

Hermione has her back to Harry no and her legs are moving towards the door, but a word from his mouth and she stops. —What, Harry? —she says, still not turning to look at him.

—I... I need... —He stops in mid-sentence and the flicker of hope that ignited inside her for a moment, vanishes.

And I wait, as always. But she doesn't look back.

—Please, sit down, the food is already here. See? —He tries uselessly and Hermione closes her eyes, the first tears beating her will.

No, not anymore. —No, Harry. I'm not hungry anymore —she stops again. Here's to hoping against hope.

But nothing.

—Tell Ron I said “hi”—and she walks away, leaving Harry with the words, whichever they were, in his mouth.

I'm not going to cling to an illusion anymore. Even if it kills me... more.

She's reaching the exit, her head down and all the tears she'd beaten back the last hour, fall. She accelerates her pace towards the door, but bumps into someone and drops her bag; all its contents spilling on the floor. Oh, bloody hell, just what I needed. She quickly gets down on her knees, not even looking at the stranger.

—I'm sorry, ma'am, I wasn't looking.

A familiar voice. Great. Perfect. —Don't worry, Ron, I got it —she speaks and her voice sounds so weak it's barely recognizable as Hermione Granger's.

—Mione? —he lifts her chin softly.

Who would've thought he'd be so gentle... The last ten years have made the two care for each other like family would.

—What happened? Are you all right?

—Yes, fine. Sorry, I was just leaving. I'll see you at Ginny's on Saturday. —She tries to move out the door, but he gets in her way.

—What? Wait. Please stop.

—What, Ron? I'm leaving. I can't take Harry anymore.

He frowns and leans his head to a side to get a better look at the man in the back of the restaurant, and then turns back to Hermione. —What on earth did you two do in 45 minutes that you are bailing in tears and Harry looks as if he's going to AK himself right now? —he tries to lighten the mood in vain.

Hermione looks up. Why do I have this anticipation? I'm not sure if it's because I feel sorry for him or if it is some sort of illusion. —Really?

—As far as I can see, yes.

Oh, goodness, why am I doing this? Hermione! You shouldn't feel bad, you've had enough of all this! Hermione nods. She looks confused and mortified.

—Come on, Mione, let's go back in, have a nice dinner, and I promise you won't feel bad all night. All right? —He says and places a hand on Hermione's shoulder, his eyes begging for the woman to try a little harder to make things the way they used to be ten years ago.

Hermione smiles and raises a hand to his cheek. Ron can be sweet sometimes... when did that happen? Luna is a lucky girl. I wish Harry would be like that with me again.

—I'm sorry, Ron, I can't. It's been too long and I...

He sighs and cuts her off with a shake of his head. —I understand, don't worry. I'll floo you tomorrow, all right?

—Yes, thank you, but I'll be fine, don't worry.

And she walks away. Ron watches her leave and sighs again, trying hard not to be mad at his recently-recovered best friend. He walks into the restaurant and towards Harry's table.

The man is staring at his plate of food and doesn't realize Ron's arrived. At Ron's greeting, he jumps and looks up, startled. —Oh, hello, I didn't see you come in.

—I realized that while you were thinking of how to best drown yourself in that soup.

—Drown myse... what? Oh! Right, well...

—I saw her leave.

He looks up, his eyes wide. —Did she say anything?

—Not really. What did YOU say to make her run in tears?

—She was crying? Oh, Merlin. —he takes a hand to his face and through his hair.

—So?

—I... I really don't know.

—What do you mean, “you don't know”? You must have said something. She's not the crying type.

—I know. Well, we were talking about ten years ago

—And?

—And she asks me if it's too late.

—And you say...?

—Nothing.

—Nothing? —the redhead asks in disbelief.

—What did you expect me to tell her?

Ron sighs and shakes his head, bringing his thumb and index to rub his eyes. A moment later, he looks up and sighs again. —Well? Is it? —he repeats the earlier question.

Harry looks up and shakes his head in confusion. —I don't know, Ron.

The man closes his eyes and takes a breath. —Harry, you know what she was asking.

He looks up again, surprised this time; opens his mouth to speak once, twice, and finally drops his head to evade his friend's inquiring gaze. —Yes, I know, but I'm not sure if…

For the first time, Ron looks angry. —Why? Why won't you? Please explain it to me because I am tired of seeing you two so miserable!

—It's not that I don't love her, all right?—Harry responds, his tone matching his friend's— it's more complicated than that… —he says, his uncertainty betraying him.

Ron stays silent for a moment, staring at Harry, and then a realization hits him. He sighs, stands and drowns what's left of his wine. He walks around the table and crouches next to Harry as if he were talking to a child. —Listen, mate, no one wants you dead anymore. Voldemort is gone, for good this time. Neville killed Bellatrix a year after the battle. The death eaters disappeared a long time ago. It is time…

Harry blinks, seemingly unsure of what to say. —I… I'm always scared for her… for you. I don't know if any day now you might be…

—Harry, listen to me —he reiterates— it's been years since the last attacks; it's been ten years and we managed to do what you asked us to, even without you —Ron places an hand on Harry's shoulder and smiles—. Don't you think it's time that you get what you want? Both of you?

Harry's eyes are locked with his friend's. He doesn't even move and Ron stands. —It's on me tonight. Please, think about it, and in any case, she probably is in the park by the bridge. —He walks away and raises a hand in good-bye. —See you next week, mate.

And he's gone.

Harry stares at the door for the longest time, unsure of how to act. He knows what he wants, but he doesn't know how to do it. He doesn't know how to love her. He passes his hand through his hair, confusion rising inside of him like an erupting volcano.

—What the hell am I doing? —he asks the air and runs out the door of the restaurant. In mid-race, he stops. —I can't...

He looks left and right, as if the world was closing in around him. —I can't apparate on her doorstep like that...

He bites his bottom lip, a habit he picked from Hermione when she was thinking something up and making a decision. A soundless POP later he is gone and little over ten minutes after that, he appears on Hermione's doorstep, a paper bag in his hand. He gathers all of what's left of that Gryffindor courage and knocks on the door two, three times, and then one more: another habit they had taken up from their years at Hogwarts and the war.

Great Merlin! It's past eleven. Who on earth could be knocking at this hour. She rubs her sore eyes after the tears had run dry and then stops dead in her tracks. She remembers that knock. What? Harry! She immediately panics and runs to open the door.

—What's going on, what's wrong? —Hermione asks barely a second after she's fully opened it and without even taking a good look at the man standing in front of her.

—I... Hermione I... I have to tell you... —he stutters.

She finally looks up and frowns. —Harry! You don't look hurt at all!

—I am not, why would I?

—The knock? —she says matter-of-factly.

—Oh, right, no.

She regards him sternly and puts a hand on her hip. She is not happy. —Then what are you doing here? —she asks coldly. Oh, I'm so mean, why am I so mean to him?

—You're right, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. —he turns around and starts to walk away.

Hermione stares after him and frowns. Is it possible? Could he have...? Oh, but I blew it anyhow, she scolds at herself and starts to turn around when he hears hurried steps back towards her flat and looks up.

—Yes, I had a reason to come. I was bringing you a midnight snack. I know you like midnight snacks very much. Well, you used to at least. Well, ten years ago you used to, I completely understand if you don't like midnight snacks anymore because... well, because it's been ten years and I haven't been here for ten years, you know. So... of course I understand if you...

—Harry!

He stops and stares at her, his beautiful green eyes wide with uncertainty. —Right, I'm sorry.

—You're rambling; you know how much I hate it when you ramble.

—Right, sorry.

— And please stop apologising.

—Right, sorry... oh! Bollocks! I'm...

—Harry! And yes, I still love midnight snacks. —should I invite him in?— come on in and show me what you brought me.

He stops and his eyes widen more, if that's even possible. And apparently he wasn't expecting that... maybe I shouldn't... And then he smiles. Oh, that beautiful smile. How can I say no?

She steps away from the threshold to let Harry in and smiles back. Maybe, just maybe… one night won't kill me any more.

—I like what you've done with the place. Last time I saw it, you'd just moved in and it was completely empty.

—Well, it's been a long time, Harry. Please take a seat —she leads the way towards the small kitchen and offers him a sit in the round table.— I know it's not as big as… it's not as big as Godric's Hallow, but it's really all I need.

—Yes, I know. It's just you, right?

—Of course —she laughs— so, what did you bring?

—I hope you still like Critters, I brought like five of them.

Now I remember why I love him. He is caring, he is nice; he knows what I like…then why on earth won't he…? Frustration threatens to overtake her cool demeanour. —I still love Critters —she laughs— Critters still drive me crazy. I'll make some tea.

—I brought you a latte too.

—Wow, you still remember.

—I still remember a lot of things, Mione.

She raises an eyebrow. —And you are trying to say…? —Harry looks down and, without looking at her, he summons a plate and starts putting the Critters on it. —Harry?

He finally looks up. —That I am really sorry Hermione. That I was stupid ten years ago and that I… that I am sorry, truly.

She frowns again, trying to keep the glimmer of hope in her eyes. She smiles softly. —It's all right Harry, this is now.

—No, it's not okay, Hermione. —He stops and stares at her, unsure of what to say next.

It is now or never Harry, please tell me… whatever it is, please tell me.

His head snaps up and his bright eyes focus on hers.

You are doing it again. And don't apologise. I want to hear whatever you have to say. She thinks to his legillimens.

Harry doesn't break eye contact, and a moment later, he nods and takes a breath. —Earlier today, Hermione, you asked me something.

He stops. Come on, please. He starts talking again and Hermione suppresses a sigh of relief.

—You asked me something, Hermione Granger, and now I have an answer. No, it's not too late, I want to make things right between us —he says, holding on for dear life for the effect of his words.

But Hermione says nothing.

And Harry hesitates. Don't. Please don't, Harry. Explain it to me. I deserve your explanation, she adds in her mind, knowing Harry is listening to everything she's thinking. He nods again.

—Hermione, you have no idea how hard it was to let you go ten years ago. I thought it was the right thing to do. But I was wrong. I… I have been a shell for ten years, because I had cut my soul from myself.

Hermione's eyes widen. I don't understand.

Harry stands and takes two steps, closing the distance between them and taking both her hands in his. He is hesitant, what is he trying to say? Could I be imagining it? Harry shakes his head.

—Hermione, I have loved you for longer than I can even remember. We couldn't be together ten years ago because there was a war raging and I didn't know if I was going to make it. And then I was plainly stupid, and I have regretted my stupidity every day for ten years. But I can't live like that anymore, and I am hoping you can't either.

Hermione's eyes fill with tears. I wasn't imagining it, she says to herself. She smiles and looks down, then up again. —I love you too, Harry.

His eyes widen in disbelief. —You… you can legillimens?

—It's been a long time, and I have picked a few tricks since then.

Harry laughs and takes a hand to her cheek. —I am so sorry, Hermione, I was so stupid. And I am so sorry it took me so long. But mostly… mostly I regret with every part of myself that I've hurt you. And I promise to make it up to you for as long as I live —he stops and smiles shyly— or as long as you want me by your side. I promise not to hurt you like that again, Hermione Granger, because I love you. I have loved you for years and I will love you forever.

He then leans forward, slowly, gently, and places his lips shyly on hers. A kiss asking permission to kiss; a kiss asking for a lifetime of love and care; a kiss that took long to arrive but that will stay with them.

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A/N: And that's it! That's the end of the Alternate future, my friends. I hope you liked the fluff and that it wasn't too unbearable, hehe. Now all we've got left is to finish the real story. Please leave a comment!

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6. Part IV - Always together

A/N: I know it's been years since I uploaded anything from the fic (or any other, except for What is Love?, which is now finished, yay!), but yesterday I was browsing through my fics and started correcting (hence the re-upload of the whole story), and today I wanted to finish it. So I did! Double yay!

The sad thing is that because I re-uploaded the chapters, I lost all of you reviews! I am so sorry! Please make my day (and don't let this fic stand so sad, with no reviews) and let me know what you think! Thank you!

Oh! Last chapter ended in Hermione and Ron leaving and Harry running after them only to find they were already gone.

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Part four

Always together

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“Wait!” His voice echoed in the dark, drowned by the incessant thumping of raindrops on the road and the angry tides against the reef. Harry stopped a few meters from the apparition point, only to meet a dematerializing Hermione searching for the source of the voice. “Hermione, no!” He reached out his hand and closed his fingers around raindrops.

He stood rooted in the spot, even his closed fist froze and he dropped his head, closing his eyes and hearing, one by one, the pieces of his heart shattering with the thunder of the electric storm that was starting to form.

A thunder struck a short distance from where he was standing and Harry was snapped out of the catatonic state he had fallen into for a split second. He gasped and had no choice but to run back to Godric's Hollow with the sinking sensation that the moment he set foot there again, he would hate the place… their place.

He waited out the storm. There was no way to apparate anymore, and he hadn't wired the fireplace to the floo network for security reasons. Even as skillful as he was, an electric storm could interfere with the dematerializing of apparition and you could end up getting splinched; Hermione had drilled that into his head as she helped him master apparition, back in sixth year at school.

Every second, minute, and hour that passed, it was one second, minute and hour in which his best friends in the world, one of which was the love of his life drifted further from him. And he could not bear it. To make time pass faster and to drown the emptiness that was now the house, Harry summoned a bottle of firewhisky and sunk into the plush loveseat that was the only furniture in the living room and where he and Hermione snuggled when it was a particularly cold evening. Ron always preferred the furry carpet, closer to the fire.

Before he knew it, he had drowsed to sleep and the storm had passed. The eerie quiet of his family's home (in every sense of the word) was what had woken him. He stirred and was confused at first because there was no one around. Then he remembered he was now alone. Completely alone.

His stomach turned at the hollow in his chest and didn't even make it to the bathroom as the little contents of his stomach emptied on the same carpet Ron used to use. Harry had to swallow back some bile in his throat and tried to get over the dizzy feeling of his head. Whoever said alcohol made you forget was a complete wanker.

A moment later, he managed to stand and summon the ring to his hand. I have to fix this. He said to himself and walked out to the apparition point near the cottage and apparated to the Burrow, where he was almost certain his friends would be… if they're still willing to be my friends…

When the countryside materialized in front of his eyes, his stomach was still in deep disagreement, but he succeeded in keeping what was left of his food, inside him. He started to walk the mile that separated his second home from the apparition point, and he walked forward towards the funny-looking house… at least he tried to walk forward, and as soon as he stepped into the yard, the Burrow's alarms went off, and before he could announce himself, several red flashes were thrown his way, and by some miracle, he dodged them all.

—It's me! —he yelled at his assailants.

—Identify yourself! —his friend's familiar voice sounded from a few meters ahead.

—It's Harry, you git! —Hermione snapped and walked to where Harry was— are you dead from the neck up, you could've gotten yourself killed! —she continued, surprising Harry with how angry she sounded.

He ran up to her and closed the distance between the two. Her beautiful face was red, and her eyes puffy. She'd been crying. I'm a prat, he told himself at seeing how much pain he'd caused the one person he loved most in the world.

—Have you been drinking? —she asked and pulled away a bit, wrinkling her nose— you reek of firewhisky and...

—It was just to pass the storm.

—And how many storms were there?

—I… what? —he asked, his intoxicated mind unable to catch the sarcasm.

—You must've drained the whole bottle!

—I'm sorry!

—Don't tell me, it's your liver that will shrivel and die.

He took her hands in his, his eyes feverish with how much he meant what he was saying… and alcohol. —No, no, Mione, I'm so sorry! For everything!

She stepped further back, making him let go off her hands and responded angrily. —No, Harry Potter, you can't come in and say that after what you made us do.

—I know, but…

—No, there is no but that will take it away.

Harry stepped into her personal space and talked so close to her face that their noses were almost touching. —But I love you, Hermione, so, so much —he whispered to her.

She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears again, even though she thought they had run dry. —Harry, this isn't you talking… —she whispered back, breathless.

He took her face in his hands, chilled as they were in the night and brushed a tear away. —It absolutely is me, Mione. I was so stupid. I was so bent on keeping you guys safe that I…

—You what? Forgot we were humans and not some old toys? —she asked, anger returning to her tone and taking his hands from her face.

But Harry kept on pushing. He didn't know how to make her understand how sorry he was and how much he needed her… and Ron in his life. —That I chose to ignore my feelings. I was completely off base, Hermione. You're my balance, my cornerstone.

For a moment, her determination failed, and he could see in her eyes how much he'd hurt her by trying to uphold that stupid vow he'd taken more than a year ago. He saw so much pain that he thought there was no way of fixing it and he stepped back, away from her, head hanging. —Please forgive me. Please! —he said passionately and then shook his head— I'll go now. I understand. I'm sorry. —He finished and started to walk away, his tears mixing with the soft raindrops left from the storm, surprised at how it was even possible for such a broken person to still be on his feet.

A minute passed in which Hermione only watched him go, the light drizzle now making her hair soaking wet. She heard footsteps from behind.

—What was that about? —Ron asked.

—I don't know… I think he was… apologizing.

—A bit late for that, isn't it? —he asked bitterly.

—Yes, a bit late… —Hermione added idly.

—Why was he so close?

—I… he was telling me… how much he… loved me… —her voice broke at the last words.

—He… did?

Hermione nodded. —But he's drunk. He's just panicking. —Her voice sounded hollow and distant, even to her.

—No, it's not just that.

—What do you mean? —she asked, turning her eyes from the retreating form of the man she'd loved for so long to her best friend.

—Mione, that man's been in love with you since third year.

—What? No! He was with Ginny! We were together after that! —she said, confused.

—We both learned to live with that. —He said matter-of-factly.

Hermione kept quiet for a few moments. Harry's cloak was barely visible now through the rain. —Are you sure.

—Positive.

—Then why did he send us away?

—He's scared. I understand it now, after seeing him come here.

—Should I… should we forgive him?

—I don't know Mione. He's capable of hurting you… and me so much… —he said broken heartedly.

—No one can do that… —she said, her voice think with tears.

—But you deserve happiness. I know that you love him too.

—But what if he walks away on us again? I don't think I could survive it…

—I don't think I could either, but it's about a choice, taking a chance. He took his when coming here…

Without another word, Hermione set off towards Harry. Ron thought about running after her, but then knew it wasn't something he should witness, or interfere with.

—Harry! Harry, stop! —Hermione cried breathlessly and Harry turned, his face surprised— I'm sorry too.

—You have nothing to be sorry about, Mione. This was all my doing —he said, and Hermione could see a flicker of hope in his green eyes. She loved that.

—Yes, I do. You came here and I sent you off.

—I deserved it.

—Yes, you did. But I shouldn't have done it. —She said and stepped closer to him—. Did you really mean what you said?

—Yes, every word.

—Even when you said…

—That I loved you? That part more than anything. I'm so sorry it took me so long to figure it out.

She took his hands and looked up at him. —I'm scared, Harry.

—About what?

—You leaving again! —she said desperately.

Harry stared at her for the longest minute and then started shaking his head, almost manically. He put his arms around her and hugged Hermione tight, as if she would disappear any second. —No. I will never leave. I swear.

—You broke your promise before —she cried to his ear.

Harry hugged her closer and started sliding to the ground, finally sinking to his knees, his arms around her waist and his head resting on her belly. —I won't this time. Please trust me. I love you.

Hermione looked at his unruly hair, plastered to his face with rain and smiled softly as she felt a weight lift from her chest. A weight she hadn't known she'd had pressing on her. She slid to her own knees and took his face in her hands. —I trust you. I love you too.

Harry smiled, and eyes sparkled with happiness, and he produced the ring from his robe pocket. —Please keep it? A promise ring…

Hermione smiled back and offered her ring finger. —Always.

As soon as Harry slipped that ring on her finger, his smile became the same boyish smile Hermione had fallen in love so many years ago, and they sealed everything with one deep and absolute kiss.

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A/N: Yep, pure fluff. Love it! Hope you did too! Thanks for R&R-ing!

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