Mean Witches

Disclaimer: No, this is not my own. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. And HBP shows it.

A/N: I saw this movie, “Mean Girls” and I immediately got this plot bunny in my head. So, here I am, hope you will enjoy it. Please, if you read, leave me a review, ok? Thanks!

Mean Witches

New School

Hi to everyone. I'm Hermione Granger, and what I'm going to tell you is how my life changed when my parents moved from France to England.

See, I'm a witch, so when we were in France, I attended the Magical School of Beauxbatons. There, I was completely obsessed with study. I've never had many friends, since I was a kid, because even before going to a magical school, till I was eleven I kind of freaked the other kids out with my obsession with school work.

I was what most call a studious nerd. And I was proud of it, too.

There was nothing that could make me not do my work. Of course, that let me know very little of the world of teenage girls.

So, this is why it was a shock when I transferred to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in my sixth year.

First of all, I boarded the Hogwarts Express at King's Cross, and I knew no one, so I isolated myself in an empty compartment. And no one bothered to enter and befriend me. Not that I invited them in, I was reading my new books, and taking notes, so I didn't even notice time passing by.

I found myself at Hogsmeade without even knowing it. Of course, I was the last to get out of the train, and missed the carriages. So I had to walk all the way to the castle, and arrived later than the others. I immediately entered the Great Hall, where the really not pleasant caretaker told me everyone was, and I while walking in search of a free spot in the tables, I tripped and fell, making everyone laugh.

I saw Albus Dumbledore standing up.

“I want to present you a new student, coming from Beauxbatons. Greet Hermione Granger” he said, smiling to me. I nervously stood up and waved to the crowd, then continued my search for a free spot. I found one, and go to seat there, when a voice calls me.

“Not there. He's the worst pig of the whole school” a girl said me, waving to seat near her and another boy. I shrugged, and went to seat there with them.

“So, you're a transfer student” the boy said. “I'm Ernie McMillan, and she is…”

“I can say my name myself, thanks” the girl said. “Hi, I'm Susan Bones. And I tell you,” she said looking at Ernie, “He's almost too gay to be true”

“Pleased to meet you” I said a bit embarrassed.

“Oh, don't worry. We will help you get used to this new reality. But for now, let's eat, and then we will lead you to the dorms. Tomorrow the lessons start, and we need to be rested for them” Susan said.

Maybe I had found someone who cared for studies like me.

So after an huge banquet, they accompanied me to the dorms, and Susan helped me get settled in the one I was to sleep in.

“Good night then” I said, waving at her.

“Good night. I'll see you tomorrow”, and she went to her own dorm.

We met at breakfast, in the Great Hall. Then Ernie and Susan dramatically escorted me to my first lesson.

“Move out of the way, fresh meat coming” Ernie kept shouting at the top of his lungs. And it worked, they made space for us to walk to the Transfiguration class.

There I had my first impact with Professor McGonagall. I knew immediately that I would get along well with her. She believed firmly in hard work, and that was what I'd done my whole life. I kept scribbling notes while she lectured us, and I noticed Susan and Ernie were working too, although less fervently than me. I guess I really was a bit of a nerd, after all.

“Right. My next lesson is…Muggle Studies” I said. “Do you know where the class is?” I asked Susan.

“Of course. We will accompany you. Although I don't see why you take that course, after all you're a Muggle-born, you must know already lots on them…anyway, follow us” she said.

The scene repeated, and in few minutes we were out on the grounds.

“Hem…where is the classroom?” I asked.

“Well, it was destroyed by an accident last year” Susan said nonchalantly.

“And won't we have problems for this?” I asked tentatively.

“Oh, no. why should we get you in troubles, we are your friends” Ernie said.

I knew missing lessons was not good, but I needed friends. Oh, well, I guess I'll never know what I missed in that one.

So we sat there, under a tree, chatting.

“So, why did you transfer?” Susan asked me.

“Well, my parents moved to England for work, and I followed them. Plus, they felt I needed to start socializing, and there no one would be my friend for the reputation of nerd I got in the years”

“Oh, you will socialize, of course” Ernie said in a sing song voice. I must admit he was somewhat feminine, to say the least. “You are such an hottie” he said.

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Yes, you're such a bomb, you will raise attention naturally” Susan added. “I mean, that you will have lots of boys at your feet, my dear”

“Oh” I said, blushing just a bit.

“You took Arithmancy?” Susan asked looking over my schedule.

“Yes, I like it” I answered.

“Here they come!” Ernie said then.

“Who?” I asked.

“The Barbie! They are all dressed the same way, and they think they are the best of the world” Susan said scathingly, scowling at the three girls who were exiting the castle with some other students. “Although I'm not sure they can think” she added then, chuckling. Ernie did too.

“First, Lavender Brown. She's the dumbest person you will meet in your life” she commented pointing to a blonde girl, who in fact tripped on her own shoes. I smiled.

“Then, there is Parvati Patil. She knows everything of everyone. Everything of the bloody business of everyone” Ernie said. “She thinks she is someone just because she's rich”

“And then there is the queen. Fleur Delacour. Beware, of Fleur Delacour. You could think she's the typical false, cynical, bastard girl. But she's far worse. How can I just start describing Fleur Delacour…” she mused. Then she brought me around the school, and we asked here and there about her.

“She's so beautiful” one said.

“She's always perfectly in fashion”

“She's got a Firebolt” another said.

“One time she hexed me. It was wonderful” a little girl said. I was shocked. It seemed everyone liked her, but not for the good reasons you would like a person.

“Plus, every year she's the Spring Queen” Ernie added.

“And who cares?” Susan said, teasing him.

“Well, since the Spring Queen is the head of the commission for activities in the school, and I'm an active member of the commission, I say yes, I care” he explained.

“Whatever” Susan said. “Now, it's of the crucial importance where you seat at meals” she added, taking a map. “There are various groups, the Asian witches, the Quidditch fans, and so on. Then there are the worst. The Barbie.”

That day at lunch, I searched everywhere for a free spot. Suddenly a boy came in front of me.

“Hey, we're doing a test for the new students, have you a moment?” he said me.

I agreed.

“Ok. Do you like bananas?”

“What?”

“Do you want I show you mine?” he asked, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Seamus, leave her alone, will you? You don't come with Parvati to a party I organised, just to hit on a new girl three days after in front of us” Fleur Delacour scolded him.

“I was just trying to be friendly” the boy said.

“Well, she's not interested. Do you want to shag him?” Fleur asked me.

“No” I said, although I wasn't sure what she was talking about.

“Perfect, it's settled. Seamus, go away” she said. And he did. I moved to search a place to seat.

“No, wait. Seat with us” she said me. So I did, and caught Susan looking at me as asking what the hell I was doing. I simply shrugged.

“So, you're the transfer girl” the blonde said at me.

“Yes, I come from France”

“Great” she commented. “So, you're a nerd?”

“Well, I like to study…” I started. She cut me.

“I know what a nerd is. I'm not stupid” she said, with a certain air of superiority. I merely nodded, a bit intimidated by her.

So we chatted a bit more through lunch.

“Excuse me, will you give us some privacy?” she asked me then. I nodded, and they started whispering to each other. I guessed it was nothing good, but then she smiled at me few moments later.

“Now, this is not something we do often, so it's a bit of an honour. We invite you to sit with us at meals for the whole week” she said.

“Of course, we have rules” Parvati interjected. “I mean, on Tuesday, for example, we wear something pink. If you don't you can't sit with us. It's not something personal, but we need to do that for respect to the others. For example, if today I was wearing green socks, I should sit with the Potions nerds” she said, pointing to me a group sitting in front of bubbling cauldrons. “Everyone of us has to respect the rules”

I nodded, and we agreed we would see each other at dinner. Then I went to my next lesson, and met with Susan and Ernie.

“…and so they invited me to sit with them at meals the whole week” I ended my telling of the events of lunch.

Susan started laughing madly. “This is so great!” she exclaimed then.

“What's so funny?” I asked, bewildered.

“Listen, you must do that now. And then you will tell us all they say” she said fiercely.

“Whoa! You really seem to hate her!” I said. “And I don't see why. She was so sweet and gentle…”

“Fleur Delacour is not sweet and gentle!” Susan shouted.

“She hates her since Fleur spread the rumour that she is…”

“No, Ernie!” Susan said, stopping him. “Ok, it's not that I hate her, I just think it would be funny to hear what they say, what they talk about, so we can laugh on it”

So I agreed. I would do that. It was more or less spying, but I could manage that.

“But I need something pink for tomorrow” I said.

“I don't have a thing” Susan said, dejectedly.

“I do, though” Ernie exclaimed, and we all grinned.

The rest of the day passed smoothly, through Potions, Charms, and Ancient Runes. Then I met with the Barbie in the Great Hall, always the same table. I knew Susan and Ernie were looking at me, but I didn't care. I tried to be as natural as possible, and to join the conversation as often as I could.

This school year had started differently than I expected, but more or less I liked it.

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Disclaimer: No, this is not my own. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. And HBP shows it.

A/N: I saw this movie, “Mean Girls” and I immediately got this plot bunny in my head. So, here I am, hope you will enjoy it. Please, if you read, leave me a review, ok? Thanks!

Spying and Heartbreak

Next day, at lunch, I met again with the Barbie, wearing a pink shirt that Ernie had given me. Now, you could see it wasn't mine, as it was twice my size, and I am ready to bet Fleur and the others didn't like it very much. But they said nothing, so we just sat at the same table, picking up what we wanted to eat.

At a certain point, Fleur started lamenting that the food was going to make her fat, and excused herself from the table.

Parvati then approached me.

“So, we're introducing you in the basic rules of teenage girls. One thing you need to know is that maybe you could think you like something or someone, but in reality you don't” she said underlining the last part of the sentence. “Now, have you laid your eyes on someone already?”

I thought a bit, and the Arithmancy lesson of that morning came back to my mind.

I was there sitting at my desk, while Professor Vector lectured, and suddenly the boy seated in front of me turned to ask me a quill, since his own had broken. I gave him my spare one, mesmerized by his green eyes.

“So handsome” I muttered under my breath. Or, I thought I did, but clearly I said it out loud, because everyone turned toward me. I covered my slip resolving the equation the Professor ahd been explaining, but I felt his gaze lingering on me. Later I learned his name.

“Harry Potter” I answered. Both Parvati and Lavender gasped, looking at me horrified.

“Oh, no! You can't like Harry Potter! He is Fleur's ex, and the ex boyfriends are off-limits for friends! They were together one year, then he dumped her…” Parvati explained, just to be interrupted by Lavender.

“Wasn't she who dumped him?”

“Whatever. Fact is, you can't like him. But be sure, I won't say a thing to Fleur, your secret is safe with me” Parvati concluded just before the part Veela came back.

So that afternoon I found myself looking at the Quidditch team practicing, Harry being one of them, and my eyes were trained on him. I waved at him, when he flied near the stands, and he stopped to wave back. Just at that moment…

“Hey, sweetie, we're going shopping! Come with us!” Fleur called to me.

I looked back and forth between him and them then moved to go with my new “friends”.

We walked to the village, and started window-shopping.

“First, you must know that one doesn't buy a thing without her friends approving it” Fleur instructed me. I nodded, and looking around I noticed Susan working in one shop. I winked at her, and she smiled at me.

You may wonder where the studious nerd was, and I honestly dunno. The few days in Hogwarts were already changing me, maybe it was finally my being a teenage witch catching up with me and pushing me to act like most witches my age, or it was my need to have friends…fact is, I studied the minimum I had to for not failing, and the rest of the time I hanged around with the Barbie. Or Susan and Ernie.

So, roaming in the village, suddenly Parvati gasped. “Seamus! He's with another girl!”

Fleur glared at the boy, and extracted a tiny owl and a piece of parchment from her purse. She quickly scribbled a note, and the owl fled to deliver it.

“Soon she won't date anyone” the girl smirked.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Well, few people have it. It's a little owl for quick messaging, in case you don't have a normal owl ready”

“And you keep it in your purse?” I asked.

“Yes, of course. It's been charmed to not suffer from that” Lavender explained. So we continued our tour, then Fleur took a piece of paper and charmed it as a Portkey. We all grabbed on it, and in few moments, after feeling the usual tug at our navels, we landed in the Delacour estate.

It was a big manor, and Fleur's mother came to receive us.

“Hi, sweeties. Can I prepare something for you?”

“Mum, please leave us alone” Fleur said, walking away. Parvati presented me.

“Mrs. Delacour, she's Hermione Granger”

“Welcome in our house, dear. Whatever you need, ask me. I'm not a normal mother, I'm the coolest mother around!” she squealed, and then left while we walked to Fleur's room.

“Hi Gab” she said to a young blonde girl swaying in front of the wireless.

“Hi Fle” the girl replied without even looking at us.

“She's Fleur's little sister, Gabrielle” Parvati whispered to me.

Then we reached Fleur's room, and I remained open-mouthed at the greatness of it. It was pure luxury, and I kept looking around.

“Is this your room?” I finally asked.

“Yes. It was my parents' but I convinced them to switch” she said, putting the wireless on. “You know who plays this song?”

I thought, but I knew nothing about music. “I dunno” I said, shaking my head.

“It's of the Weird Sisters. Merlin, I love her. She's so innocent” Fleur said, smiling at me. Then they started comparing their bodies in front of the mirror.

“I really need to lose a stone” the blonde said.

“I've got acne” Lav commented looking at her face.

“I really need to do something for my hair” Parvati ended. I wondered how could so many things be wrong in a body, but to not feel different I said, “this morning I had bad breath”. They all looked at me like I was an alien.

“Oh, look at this. It's been ages since we used it” Lavender said, taking a pink book from the shelves.

“This, Hermione, is the Pink Diary” Parvati explained me. “Here we write the rumours on anyone in the school. Well, on the girls, anyhow”

We looked at it, and I spotted a page on Susan, and the rumour on her being a lesbian. So that was what she had stopped Ernie from saying that day.

Finally the afternoon at Fleur's home ended and we went back to the school. There I met with Susan and Ernie, the two of them were really inseparable, and I told them about what we did.

“What's written on the diary about me?” she asked.

“Nothing. You're not there” I lied.

“That cow” Susan muttered. It was clear it had been Fleur who had started the rumour.

“However, I can't do it anymore. I can't spy on them, nor I can steal the diary” I said.

“Listen, Hermione, there is people who does bad things, and people who doesn't stop the others who do bad things” Susan said, snatching a bottle from Ernie's hands. It was a potion for sore feet, that she had taken from the shop she worked in.

I were still doubtful.

“Come on, she will never know it. This will be our little secret”

So in the end I agreed to continue spying on the Barbie, and Fleur more than the others. My heart missed a beat though when next day at breakfast I got an owl from Fleur telling me she knew my secret. Luckily it was just Parvati who had told her about Harry. Now, she had promised not to, but I managed to not be angry at her. Fleur even offered to talk to him about me top help me hook up with him, and I, ingenuous as I was, accepted. Later I would discover what that really meant.

So even if I was theoretically not allowed to like him, I kept looking at Harry every moment I could, and that was lots of time since he was in front of me in the Arithmancy class, and I invented reasons to talk to him. Unluckily, the captain of the Arithmancy team and Professor Vector often interrupted every possible contact with him, proposing me to join the team in the next tournament against Salem.

On one side I wanted to, I adored Arithmancy, on the other side everyone kept telling me it was a social suicide. So, for the moment I couldn't. I had to hang around with the Barbie to spy on them…

At Halloween, however, Harry turned to speak to me in class. “You know, tonight there's a party at the village, in the Three Broomsticks. I would like for you to come” he said, smiling.

I almost fainted seeing him smile at me. However I managed to find my voice, and answered.

“I'll be there”

He nodded and still smiling left. Then I ran to prepare a mask for the party. In the whole world at Halloween one dresses with strange costumes, and usually frightening ones. Well, for girls it wasn't that way.

Halloween parties are for them the chance to dress like whores and no one can say a thing. Problem was, no one told me about this rule, so I showed up dressed as scary as I could.

I reached Parvati and Lavender, and was immediately made aware than my costume was a bit wrong. However, we chatted, and Lavender kept drooling over some boy.

“Come on, Lav, you can't. He's your cousin!”

“First grade cousin. There are cousins, first grade cousins, and so on…”

“No my dear, it isn't that way” Parvati said. However in the end she walked to him to make her move all the same. At that point Harry showed up.

“I see you came. And you are…a vampire bride”

“No, a dead wife” I said.

“Oh, ok. I'll go take something to drink for you, ok?”

“Thanks” I said smiling as much as the costume allowed me. I followed him with my eyes, and noticed him being stopped by Fleur. They started chatting, and I was glad she remembered to talk with him about me. I assumed she was doing that because now and then they would turn my way.

However I was mistaken. Maybe she was really talking about me, but not in good way. And she ended it kissing him.

I couldn't be there anymore, and so I left. Crying, I reached the castle, where I scared to death Susan and Ernie, along with many other students too.

Once they regained their breath, I explained the situation.

“The bitch” Susan commented. “Listen, we need a plan. This is what we will do. We will bring her down, she's nothing but a tyrant. And how can you bring down a tyrant? We need to cancel her “popular consent”. She now has an hot body, an army of silly girls idolizing her, and a stupid hot guy, sorry, but he is that, Hermione”

I nodded.

In the end, we agreed to work on this plan to bring her down. I could now see why Susan hated her so much, and I would do my best to see her in the dirt.

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Disclaimer: No, this is not my own. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. And HBP shows it.

A/N: I saw this movie, “Mean Girls” and I immediately got this plot bunny in my head. So, here I am, hope you will enjoy it. Please, if you read, leave me a review, ok? Thanks! I've fixed the mistake with Ernie being the one Fleur cheats on Harry with, as he is obviously Susan's friend. My mistake, and I'm sorry. So now I'm reposting this!

Wheels in motion

Since next day, we started putting the plan in motion. First thing, I had to feign to not be angry at Fleur, and it came easier than I thought.

That day, at lunch, I met with Parvati, and she spoke to me.

“Hey, Hermione. Fleur asked me to tell you that she tried speaking to him about you, but Harry wanted so much to go back with her, and so they now are together again. You're not angry at her, are you?”

Angry? No, Parvati, I'm just furious at her, and I might Avada Kedavra her, but no, I'm not angry.

“Of course not. I'm happy for them, really” I lied. Seems I was more convincing than I thought, since Parvati smiled, and hugged me.

“Good, because this is from Fleur. She asked me to do this”

Then we walked to our usual table, where Fleur was, with Harry. As soon as she saw us, she started mussing his hair.

“Why don't you keep your hair spiky? You're far sexier this way” she purred. “Hermione, tell him he's sexier this way”

In that precise moment I think I would have liked to have Voldemort's hate to be able to use the Killing Curse. But no, I smiled.

“You're sexier this way” I said, seating in front of him. All lunch she kept flirting with him openly in front of me, and at one moment I got sick of that, so claiming to have an headache I left. Feigning to be ok was a thing, but having to endure that show was another.

That afternoon we met, and she kept complaining about how she was getting acne, so I offered to bring her a potion to eliminate it. She agreed, so I went to see Susan and she gave me that potion for feet that she took from the shop in Hogsmeade.

I brought that to Fleur, and she used it. Can you believe her luck? It worked, and Harry admired the fresh scent coming from her face, that night at dinner.

But that was just the start. Next day Susan snuck in her room, and messed with her clothes, trying to embarrass her. She placed a charm that every five minutes would show her undergarments.

You won't believe it, the day after that all the girls in school were wearing that charm on their clothes.

I was dumbfounded, and discouraged. Seemed like the plan was going to take more than we thought to work. And sincerely I started doubting it would work at all.

However, we kept it going. I discreetly tried to sabotage her, but it was not working. Everything she did or bought became the new trend, so that part of the plan was failing. We decided we needed Parvati's help, although unwilling. She knew the secrets of everyone, and surely Fleur had something to hide too. We just needed to make her spill the beans.

Christmas was nearing, and the Barbie as usual would take part in the talent show held in the Great Hall. They included me, with my great surprise, and we started working on their exhibition every afternoon at Fleur's home, and that brought me to see Susan and Ernie less and less. But we would meet at night, and plan the moves of the next day.

First, it was a tradition that Hogwarts students would send their friends wishes cards for Christmas, before everyone left for their houses for the holidays.

“So, we just need to use these to make Parvati feel less wanted by Fleur, this will bring her to crack” Susan said, but I spotted Fleur coming our way so I told her to go away.

“Why were you talking with Susan Bones?” Fleur asked me disdainfully.

“I dunno, I mean, she came near me, talking about cracking something…she's so strange” I lied.

“Yes, she is. I tell you, once we were even the best of friends, before Hogwarts”

“Really?” I said, feigning shock. Well, it was a shock after all.

“Oh, I know it's unbelievable. However, I started seeing a guy in our first year here, and she started lamenting how I was neglecting her. That was the clue I needed. It was clear she was a lesbian, so I distanced myself from her, and never invited her to my home anymore, especially at parties”

So this is how the rumour about Susan started. Well, no surprise she hates Fleur, I would too if someone said that about me. Probably she just needed her friend, and felt abandoned.

Just at that moment a girl passed by us, and Fleur spoke to her. “Lovely necklace, where have you taken it?”

“Oh, it was my mother's” the other girl said, blushing a little.

“I see. Adorable” Fleur commented, but as soon as the girl left, she whispered to me, “It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen”

So she badmouths people behind their back too. Wonder if she does that with the other Barbie too. It would be interesting to let them know what she really thinks about them…

“So, do you send wish cards at Christmas?” I asked.

“No, but I receive them, so be sure you send one, sweetie” she said leaving.

“Oh, I will, be sure of that. With three of them I will bring Parvati down, and then I'll know what I need to know on you” I thought

And so I did. I sent one to Fleur, and two I feigned coming from Fleur to me and Lavender. You should have seen Parvati's face when the owl brought her nothing that day in class, and me and Lav had our cards from Fleur.

Really, copying her writing was easy. A simple Copying Charm on the Pink Diary did the trick. At times it comes handy to be a nerd, don't you think?

And things got even more interesting when Fleur kept scolding her during our rehearsals of our little show, a ballet on the notes of the Muggle song “Jingle Bell Rock”.

But the top of it all was at the talent show.

Fleur, just before we entered the stage, exchanged mine and Parvati's positions, putting me near her and Parvati on the outside of our quartet.

“But I've always been near you!” Parvati whined.

“But since now Hermione here is taller than you, and even more skilled, the tallest and more skilled ones need to be in the centre”

“This will mess up the whole dance! We've tried the movements with me in the middle!”

“You're going to get on my nerves! Now get on your bloody new position!” Fleur snapped.

Finally we entered the stage, and Parvati flicked her wand to let the music start. But it seems the girl was a bit distressed, because her charm vanished at half song, and we stopped in our tracks. Luckily we had tried it so many times, I had learned the words by memory, so I started singing, and we resumed our dancing.

“What a bright time
It's the right time
To rock the night away
Jingle bell, time
Is a swell time
To go glidin' in a
one horse sleigh

Giddy-up, jingle horse
Pick up your feet
Jingle around the clock
Mix and mingle
In a jinglin' beat
That's the jingle bell

That's the jingle bell,

That's the jingle bell rock!”

The crowd in the hall started singing with us, as the song was well known, after all the Barbie had done the same thing since first year, and many were Muggle-Borns too, so our show was saved somehow.

I don't need to tell you that Parvati was almost in tears when it finished, and that Fleur was simply furious with her.

Our scheme to make Parvati reveal Fleur's secrets was going well, if only the captain of the Arithmancy team hadn't come to compliment me on my singing abilities.

Parvati immediately brightened up, and started teasing me, hoping to make me forget Harry. Problem is, she also revealed that I was considering entering the team, and Harry, who had witnessed my not so brilliant results lately in Arithmancy, looked at me raising his eyebrows.

“The team? You hate Arithmancy! You're not even so good at it!” he whispered to me while we all left the Hall.

I said nothing, because telling him the truth would have created only troubles and embarrassment.

However, apart for that little moment, I could be satisfied of how things were going. In the next few days before the Christmas break, Fleur almost put me on a pedestal, over Lavender and Parvati, who, out of the two of them, was the one who suffered the most for that.

She kept whining with me about Fleur's tyranny.

“It's not right what she does. She's just a tyrant. Can you believe that I love silk robes, but I can't wear them because in second year she told me they were something hers, and only she could wear them? And last year my parents got me a really expensive pair of blue silk robes, and I had to tell them I didn't like them, while I would have killed to be able to wear them!” she confided me one day, while we were alone, tears flowing on her cheeks.

I felt bad for her, but it was for the greater good that we were using her in our plan. And it worked, because she started spilling the beans on Fleur.

At first it was nothing useful, like the fact her parents were divorced, and that she had had her nose magically fixed to make it look better. I must admit I did something like that to my teeth in my fourth year at Beauxbatons, so it was nothing so bad or embarrassing.

In the meantime Parvati worked as hard as possible to regain her place in Fleur's graces, although she had complained with me about her tyranny. And I found myself trying to please her too, although keeping my spying and sabotaging plan working.

Because being a Barbie was like being a celebrity. Everyone knew you, everyone admired you, everyone looked at you.

However, with time the secrets Parvati let out became more juicy. And it was bloody time too!

The one we could use came a couple weeks after her outburst about the robes, and it was a real bomb.

“And she cheats on him every Thursday with Roger Davies” she told me while we were chatting about Harry and Fleur.

I smirked, not seen.

That was the chance we were waiting for, now we just needed to make Harry see her cheat on him.

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Disclaimer: No, this is not my own. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. And HBP shows it.

A/N: I saw this movie, “Mean Girls” and I immediately got this plot bunny in my head. So, here I am, hope you will enjoy it. Please, if you read, leave me a review, ok? Thanks!

Queen Down

Since the day Parvati spilled the beans on Fleur's affair with Roger behind Harry's back, me, Susan and Neville tried every way to make him go on Thursdays in the Quidditch locker rooms, where Parvati had told me they met usually.

We tried directing him there subtly, for example spreading the rumour that an impromptu Quidditch practice had been called for that day, or something similar, but in one way or another, she managed to not get caught.

That as you can imagine enraged me and was the last straw toward a not so pleasant transformation, one that menaced to surface anytime now.

Lately I had passed so many time with Fleur and the Barbie to spy on them, that I got kind of an obsession about her. I couldn't stop talking about her if I tried, and when I didn't talk about the queen, I hoped someone else did, so I could speak about her again.

“I think she's getting fatter” I said while talking with Susan, who absent-mindedly nodded. “And then we could call her the Queen Whale” I said proudly.

“Yes, Hermione, you said that already twice” Susan reminded me, clearly annoyed by my behaviour.

“Oh. Sorry then” I said, and remained quiet for the rest of the evening, battling against the river of words on Fleur that menaced to come out of my mouth.

And then there was Harry. Having him in front of me in Arithmancy didn't help soothe my hate for Fleur, but I worked on a plan of my own to at least talk more with him. Although I was quite good in Arithmancy, I purposely did the tests wrong, to feign I wasn't understanding something. That gave me the chance to talk with him about schoolwork, at least.

My heart almost skipped a beat when he spoke, after I barely passed a test.

“Seems you need additional lessons” he suggested, his green eyes dancing with mirth. “I could give you some pointers, if you want to”

I managed to find my voice, and speak to him.

“Well, but I think Fleur will get angry”

“Why? The two of you are friends” he said. “Well, maybe we won't tell her, uh?” he added as an afterthought, grinning at me. I swear that grin of his should be banned. I felt myself swoon, but managed to smile back.

So that afternoon we studied hard in the library, in a secluded spot where no one would disturb us.

“So, I did this equation twice, and this is the result I got” he said, showing me his paper.

“Mine is the same” I said, trying to not lose myself too much in his green pools.

“Well, seems you got it then” he said, smiling.

“You're a great teacher” I answered, still staring at him. I don't know who started it, but moments later our lips were joined, and we stayed still for some moments, before he retreated.

“No. Sorry, but I can't. It's not fair toward Fleur”

There. The river of words came back at full force.

“Fleur cheats on you” I said before I could stop myself.

“What?” he said, shocked. I told him about Roger and their encounters, but begged him to not tell her I was the one who told him that.

“Of course I won't. And thanks for having opened my eyes”

Next day, he broke up with her, and told her someone on the Quidditch team told him about that.

I'm pretty sure Parvati suspected me, but she said nothing, nor she looked at me strangely. If she really didn't guess it was me who spilled the beans she's far more dense than I expected. But I digress.

Now that they had broke up, we had achieved the first goal of our plan. We needed to make her lose her perfect body, and in that my Muggle upbringing would be useful. See, my parents are dentists, so they know everything about things with lots of sugar, and things that don't have it, but are still very energetic. And of course they told me all about that. So, I just had to Floo to the Leaky Cauldron one afternoon, go into Muggle London, enter an apothecary and choose some of the most energetic sugar free bars. Of course, I carefully chose the ones without instructions in English.

Once back at the castle, I played on Fleur's desire to lose a stone or so, and proposed her the things I bought. It went far better than expected. She didn't touch dinner, she only ate them. And she kept it going for days.

Of course, the effects started to show. First of all she developed an appetite, so when she wasn't eating the bars she ate lots at lunch and dinner, and that contributed to her developing something else.

A fat arse.

In fact, she kept gaining weight instead of losing it. One day I and the other Barbie accompanied her to a shop in Diagon Alley where she had ordered a dress, and she tried it. You can't imagine her face when it didn't close, as she was too large. I barely managed to restrain my laughter, and had to defend myself.

“Hermione, I'm eating just your bars” Fleur said me accusingly.

“Er…yes, this is how they are supposed to work, I mean, you now are swelling because it's water retention, but when you will expel all that water, you'll lose five kilos all together” I explained, and she bought it.

“Excuse me, don't you have a bigger size?” Lavender asked.

“No, you may want to try at the strong sizes shop for that” the salesgirl replied disdainfully. You can imagine Fleur's shock at hearing that, it was an offence like no other to say she needed strong sizes.

So, while our plan to get her fat was doing his course, I kept my own to fail Arithmancy on purpose to try and speak with Harry. Professor Vector however busted my game.

“Miss Granger, the thing is that in your tests, only the answer is wrong” he said looking at me. Then he sighed.

“Hermione, there's no need to feign you're not good at school to attract boys” he added, looking at me with concern.

“Oh” I said, shocked that my game was discovered. “Well, I'll try harder, then. And if there are ways for me to gain extra credit, tell me” I said, then left. The biggest error of my life, or maybe a sign of destiny was that I went to see the Barbie, and they encouraged me to vent my frustration writing bad things about him on the Pink Diary. And I did.

In the meantime, spring was nearing, and as every year, a ball would be held, and the Spring Queen and King would be elected. Ernie, being on the committee, was working in the organisation of it all, and one of his duties was to set a table where people could vote the candidates.

One night, in the Great Hall, Headmaster Dumbledore announced the names that would participate in the election. No shock that Fleur was a candidate, while Parvati was surprised someone proposed her. But the biggest shock was hearing my name and Susan's as candidates too.

Ernie revealed he was the one who inserted Susan, “I couldn't help it” he said grinning, and there I started suspecting he harboured more than friendly feelings for her.

But on my name, he denied to be the one responsible. That meant, someone really suggested me as queen. I was flattered, although I didn't know who could be the one who did that.

Few days later, Susan and Ernie invited me for a Butterbeer with them, but I refused.

“I've got a big sabotage for the Barbie tonight” I replied proudly.

“But we have nothing planned for tonight” Susan said me, dubious.

“This is something I thought of myself. You will see” I said, elated for the good idea I had had that afternoon.

I knew Fleur was at home that night, so I communicated with her though the Floo.

“So, how are you tonight?” I asked.

“Fine, thanks. Although I am a bit upset that Parvati is a candidate for being queen”

“Why? She's your friend”

“Exactly, and I'm worried for her. She's not beautiful, so I think this is just a joke. I mean, who would be so crazy to candidate her?”

Soon later our chat ended, and I Flooed to Parvati's dorm.

“Hi Parvs” I said.

“Oh, hello, Herms” she said me, while polishing her nails. “Isn't it great we are both candidates?”

“Yes, but this is what I want to talk you about. Fleur thinks no one sane of mind would candidate you”

“What? Well, if she comes clean with what she thinks of us, I better say Lav what Fleur told me on her then”

So a chain was started, and Parvati told Lavender that Fleur thought the other blonde was a slut, and Lavender told Fleur, who had Flooed her, that she couldn't go out because she was ill, and Fleur called her exactly what Parvati had said.

“Slut”

You wonder how can I know this, well, I heard it since we often used the “triangle communication” Floo, that allowed one to be connected to two more witches or wizards contemporarily, and hear the conversation of the other two, while you were waiting.

As time did its work, we finally reached our second task.

One day, at lunch, Fleur came with the wrong trousers.

“Fleur, today is Monday, we can't wear gym trousers on Monday” Parvati reminded her.

“Who cares” Fleur said, showing how unfair she was, breaking her own rules.

“I care” Lav said. “You sent me away that day that I used the wrong sweater”

“That's because it was hideous” Fleur replied, but the three of us all stared at her. Finally she broke down.

“They are the only ones that fit me” she whispered. Our gazes softened the tiniest bit, but rules were rules.

“Fine, sluts, I'll change table” she snapped, and walking away she bumped on another girl.

“Hey, watch your steps, whale arse” that one said, walking away while the whole Great Hall erupted in roaring laughter.

Third and second task accomplished. Fleur was now fat, and no one admired her anymore.

The queen was down.

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Disclaimer: No, this is not my own. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. And HBP shows it.

A/N: I saw this movie, “Mean Girls” and I immediately got this plot bunny in my head. So, here I am, hope you will enjoy it. Please, if you read, leave me a review, ok? Thanks! Sadly this is the last chapter of this story, I loved writing it, so it's a shame it has to come to an end…

Not Myself

From that day, a change happened in Hogwarts. Fleur Delacour was not the queen anymore, and her place was taken by someone else. That would be me.

Yes, the once bookworm Hermione Granger was the new queen of the school, and the other two Barbie, Parvati and Lavender, adored me like a goddess.

Few days later, I had to go back home to attend an important theatrical show, one I'd always loved to see, as my parents were able to find the tickets.

When I told that to Lavender and Parvati they seemed lost.

“What will we do this weekend then?” they asked each other.

“Well, ok, I'll see if I can at least come back early, or not go at all” I conceded. Their faces lit up.

“Yes” they said adoringly.

So, after some owls back and forth with my parents I managed to convince them I was too busy at school to go home for the show, and remained at the castle. Parvati helped me organise a big party in Hogsmeade.

That day, in class, I touched Harry's shoulder.

“Hey, I throw a party tonight at the village. Only the coolest people will be there. I think you should come” I said in my best Fleur Delacour voice. See, hanging around with her I got some of her behaviours.

“Will Fleur be there?” he asked me.

“Of course not! I'm not a silly girl, you know” I said mocking outrage. He grinned at me.

“I'll be there then”

I hoped he would make his move, because frankly it was about time he did! Fleur had already found another boyfriend, why hadn't he already asked me out was beyond me.

But that night he would be mine.

When the party started, it was painfully clear that the voice had spread, and all the school more or less was there. I kept searching for Harry, and I couldn't find him.

Thinking he had not come, I kept drinking and drinking to drown my disappointment, till I was thoroughly pissed. I hid in one room of the building I had rented, shooing a snogging couple away.

Soon later, he entered the room.

“Hi” he said softly. “I've searched for you all night”

“Me too” I said drunkenly.

“I think you've had a bit too much to drink” he teased me.

“Yes, I may have. I was angry that you hadn't come yet. Then I entered here…”

“I hid here because I was escaping from Fleur. By the way, you said she would not be here!” he said, glaring at me.

“She must have snuck in…there's so much people here that I didn't invite!” I said, then hiccupped.

“Well, you're pretty popular right now” he said caressing my cheek. I saw him leaning in, and my heart soared in triumph. But my drunken state ruined it all.

“I see you understood you're not Fleur's property anymore now” I said, and immediately regretted the words that left my mouth.

He stopped, and glared at me. “Property? Now I see it! You're nothing but a clone of her!” he said, and moved to go away, but all the alcohol I had in my body had not finished its show yet.

Long story short, I puked on his trousers, and he left disgusted, with me pursuing him and trying to beg for his forgiveness.

But the night was not finished yet. Susan and Ernie passed by that right moment, and they were utterly pissed that I had not invited them, especially because I had refused their invite to go for a Butterbeer saying I had to go with my parents.

While walking away, they put me in front of the blunt truth. I had become another Fleur, and I had pushed away the only ones who really were my friends in doing that.

So I cried, and cried, holed up in the room where I had met with Harry few minutes before, all night.

But it was not finished yet. Because in the next days, hell broke loose at school. Fleur must have understood my game to bring her down, because she used the strongest weapon she had against me.

The Pink Diary.

She added a page berating herself, then feigned to have found it and brought it to Dumbledore, who, of course, immediately called me, Parvati and Lavender in his office.

They of course knew the book, and tried explain the truth.

“Headmaster, really, that book is Fleur's. I dunno why she tried to show it wasn't hers, but I have seen more than once it in her room” Parvati said.

“Miss Patil, why should miss Delacour call herself a not trust-worthy bitch?” Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes as hard as I had ever seen them.

“I dunno, but maybe we are not there because we are liked by everyone” Lavender suggested. The dumbest thing she could say, really.

I said nothing, because I knew that the Headmaster would have never believed us.

But Fleur wasn't finished. With a copying charm, she replicated the pages of the diary, and spread them in the school, so people, especially girls, started fighting in the halls, spells flew everywhere, till the Headmaster himself intervened.

“Silence!” he bellowed. “All of you, in the Great Hall”

And so the huge crowd reunited there.

“I think, you all need to work on your relationships with the other girls” the Headmaster said.

So professor McGonagall and Professor Vector took charge of it, and all day we stayed there, telling what rumours we spread on who. When it was my turn, I lied, telling I never badmouthed anyone. I could feel Professor Vector's gaze on me, the page about him must have been spread too.

“You disappointed me, miss Granger” the Arithmancy Professor said.

Then we all asked forgiveness for what we did, and in the end Susan revealed the plan to bring down Fleur.

“Because, see Fleur, I had somehow to show you what a perverted lesbian obsessed with you I am” she ended joking on the rumour involving her. I admired her in that moment, but I knew I needed to say to Fleur that I was sorry.

So I followed her retreating form, and I knew things were going to be bad when we ended under the Whomping Willow.

Well, Fleur did, anyhow, and the tree was not pleased. So it hit her hard, and she ended in the Hospital Wing for weeks.

Everyday someone visited her, and it showed me that more the people fears you, more they lick your boots. But I knew I had to do that too.

It was needed if I truly wanted to go back to who I really was. And it surprised me when she accepted my apologies hugging me.

Maybe she had learned a lesson herself. So I left the Hospital Wing feeling far better than when I had entered.

However, the rest of the school despised me, still believing I was the author of the Pink Diary, and the others feared me believing I pushed purposefully Fleur under the Willow. It were hard times, as Susan and Ernie still didn't talk to me, and so I was once again alone, much like on my first day at Hogwarts. I ended skipping lunch, and walking lonely around the lake.

I knew something else was needed, but I had to find the courage to do that.

The occasion presented itself few days later, when Aurors entered the Arithmancy classroom.

“What's the meaning of this?” Harry asked.

“Harry, the Aurors are here to check on the rumours on Professor Vector's conduct in class” Dumbledore said.

“But all what was written in that diary is bullshit! It's just things written by silly girls who have nothing better to do!”

“I know it, Harry” Dumbledore said, “but since the rumours on Filch proved to be true, we need to check them all accurately, unless the author shows himself, or herself, and tells us it was just lies”

That was the moment. I needed to tell the truth.

“Adieu, Harry. You will never like me after this” I thought, then stood up.

“It was me, Headmaster. I wrote those lies about Professor Vector using Unforgivables in class”

“Very well then. Aurors, I think we can leave them to their work then” Dumbledore said to the Ministry officials, who then left.

The Professor gave us back our latest test.

When I went to take mine, I spoke again. “I'm really sorry” I said, ashamed.

“I forgive you” he said, smiling. “I've been young once, too, although it may now seem strange, and I've done my fair load of foolish things too. But as my personal punishment, you will enter the team” he winked at me.

I nodded while taking my test, and looking at the result I heard someone speak behind me.

“Welcome back, bookworm” Harry said a bit spitefully, smirking. He was right, I had got 99 percent on that one.

So I entered the team, and although Professor McGonagall had given me detention, so I could not leave the common room till the end of the term, Professor Vector managed to get me out of there for the match with the Salem Institute of Witchcraft and Wizardry, from United States of America.

With a Portkey we travelled to Diagon Alley, where the event would take place. There was almost no one in the stands to see our exhibition, and that depressed me a bit.

During the whole match I seemed unable to remember the basic things of Arithmancy, so I was of no help for the team, however we managed to tie, and an extra question was needed. Neville Longbottom, our captain, chose their only girl as opponent, while their captain chose me.

Facing her, I noticed she had no sense of fashion, she needed a good face cleaning, to wash her hair, probably change her clothes, but I also knew that in that moment insulting her would have not helped me win the match, nor would have stopped her from winning it herself.

So I concentrated on the question, but she answered first.

I panicked, sure that we had lost, but the referee told her the answer was wrong. I just needed to be able to remember when Professor Vector had explained that kind of magical equations…let's see, it was the day after Harry cut his hair.

“Merlin, how hot he was…” I thought.

“Focus, Hermione, focus. What was written on the blackboard past Harry's head?” I kept berating myself, and hope started to vanish.

Then I remembered. I got the answer right, and we won. All my team-mates hugged me, and Neville continued insulting the Salem team, maybe overreacting a bit. But I knew then that this was really important for him.

Once back at the castle, I walked up the stairs toward the common room.

“Where are you going?” Neville asked me.

“To the common room. I've still got detention” I said, naturally.

“Come on, you've gone out already” Professor Vector said. “I'll speak with Minerva, you enjoy the Ball. This is your night, Hermione” he said, and smiled at me. So I nodded, and with the rest of the team we entered the Great Hall.

Just in time, because Dumbledore was announcing the Spring Queen and King.

“The King for this year is Roger Davies” and the boy erupted in an exaggerated exultation. I rolled my eyes.

“The Queen is…Hermione Granger”

I could not believe my ears.

“Where is Hermione Granger?” Dumbledore asked. So I moved, thanks to Neville's pushing me too, and reached the front of the Hall, where a small crown was given to me.

I then took the magical microphone, and spoke.

“Well, this is an huge shock for me. And I know lots of you would die for this, and I am elected just because half of the school is glad I brought Fleur Delacour down, and the other half believes I'm scary so they better be in my graces. This is not right. After all this is just a symbol so I want to share it with all of you”

And I did. I materially broke the crown in pieces, and spread them to all the girls in the room.

“You are all queens to me tonight” I said, and then walked back into the crowd.

I felt someone touching my shoulder, and I found myself staring into green pools that I dreamed of.

“Have you had too much to drink tonight?” he asked softly. “Am I risking to be puked onto again?”

I nervously laughed, shaking my head.

“Good” he said, looking at me with intensity, and taking my hand, leading me on the dance floor.

We danced to a slow song, then finally he cupped my face, and kissed me.

“You're the most amazing girl in the world, Hermione Granger. There's no need to fake to be what you are not” he said before kissing me again. I laced my arms around his neck, and kissed him back, feeling my heart soar to Heaven.

From that moment we were an item, and often went to dates in Hogsmeade. He kept spoiling me with red roses, and expensive gifts.

“Hey, Harry, there's no need to spoil me” I said when he gave me another pair of earrings.

“You deserve it, Hermione, because you are MY queen. I love you”

“I love you too” I said, kissing him.

When the year finished, he graduated, while I still had an year to attend at Hogwarts, as well as Susan, Fleur, Parvati, Lavender and Ernie. The Barbie group broke, and everyone went his/her way, Fleur entering the female Quidditch team, Parvati found herself another leader to worship, but it was just a small group that kept to themselves, and no one noticed them, me and Harry kept seeing each other and were madly in love, and Ernie and Susan had found themselves someone too. They had tried hooking up at the Ball, but it didn't work...

And if some new girls acted like Barbie…well, let's say we know how to deal with them, after all the Whomping Willow is there for that, isn't it?

Just joking!

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