Ron and Luna's wedding is thrown into chaos, and its up to Harry and Hermione to make sure neither of them busts an artery. Gonna be updated once a day. I'm on my Spring Break and yeah, this is what I do. COMPLETED
From the Unofficial Portkey Archive: https://portkey-archive.org/story/5846/
Short Note: There are a couple of these “*” thingies. They just mean there's a footnote or whatever at the bottom. Okay, off you go :-)
- - -
“You look lovely.” Hermione breathed.
Luna Lovegood was wearing her bridal dress for the twentieth time that night, and each time it seemed like she was even more a gorgeous than the last. It really was a beautiful dress, Hermione thought. It would make a terribly romantic wedding picture.
Hermione left the bride to bask in all her glory and stepped out to try to think of a place to store the flowers for the ceremony. They had come a day early and may the ghost of Merlin remove her tongue with ice tongs if she ever let anything bad happen to those gorgeous roses. She thought of the Burrow's pantry. It was dimly-lit and a little chilly.* Perfect. She'd apparate over with the roses as soon as she left the Lovegood's. Upon her return to Luna's room, she found the blond no longer looking at her reflection but gazing off dreamily out the window.
“Are you nervous at all about the big day tomorrow? Before Ginny had to go, she told me you were being really calm.” Insanely calm, Hermione added to herself. Ginny had even gone as far as trying to freak her out with Weasley family wedding stories, which usually left one in tears.
“Why should I be nervous? Our souls were always one. I love Ronald with all my heart. That's all that matters.” Luna said simply.
“That's wonderful.” Hermione said softly.
“Besides, we've got the Klamagi watching over us.”
Hermione's soft smile was promptly replaced by a blank stare. She blinked. “The what?”
“Klamagi. They were an ancient race of turtle people that lived a pacifist, kindly existence a millennium ago in eastern Asia. Their entire population was completely wiped out by primitive Mongol tribes because they were hunting their prized Snorkacks, but their souls remain on this plane to watch over those who are truly in love because love is what they lived for all those centuries ago.”
Turtle people…? The corners of Hermione's lips twitched a bit before she nodded and replied in a strangled voice. “Of course. They're watching over you. The Klamagi. That's absolutely right.”
Luna smiled absently at her reflection in the mirror, no doubt contemplating her turtle-people. “I hope Ron isn't getting too distressed.”
Hermione tried to hide the amusement on her face. If she knew her best friend, and she did, Ron Weasley had to be a raving wreck. Ron was probably curled in a fetal position in a dark, damp corner with Harry tugging on his sleeve trying to drag him out. She knew that the Big Day, tomorrow, was going to be the best day of Ron's life. However the man was a bit of a coward when it came to proclaiming love. It had taken him 7 years to just ask Hermione out. Unfortunately, their romance had crashed and burned. Most likely because they had waited like fools for too long and without the growth of a relationship, the childish indirect flirting was as far as they could ever go.
It was another 2 years of pining after Luna before Harry and Hermione finally locked Ron and the woman of his desire together in a broom closet. It was for his own good. Best friends couldn't let their other best friend make the same mistake twice, after all.
“I'm sure he's fine.” Hermione lied, for Luna's sake. “Harry's with him. I'll bet they're over there playing chess or something right now.”
- - -
“I'M A WRECK, HARRY!!” Ron screeched.
“Ron, sit down - “
“I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!”
“Ron, just relax - “
“What if I suck at being a husband?! What if I get fired!? What if I can't support Luna!? What if our kids end up being monsters - “
“I think she would like something like that.” Harry grinned. “She'd call them red-crowned shorgles or something.”
“What if something goes wrong at the wedding?” Ron rambled on, ignoring Harry. “What if Fred and George try something? What if I forget my lines!?”
“You're lines are `I do'.” Harry reminded him helpfully as he wrestled the redhead into the sofa. “Stop kicking me!”
“I'm going to forget. I know I will. I'll say the wrong name. I'll be up there, my mind racing, and suddenly Mum's angry face will pop up in my head yelling at me to not screw anything up and I'll end up saying her name. OH MERLIN, HARRY, I'M GOING TO SAY MY MUM'S NAME AT MY OWN WEDDING!!”
“You're being crazy!” Harry said, forcing Ron to stay in his couch so he wouldn't pace deep grooves into the Burrow's hardwood floor.
“I'll be up there all nervous and I'll say `I take thee, Mum, to be my lawfully wedded wife' and everyone will stare and the wedding will be ruined and Luna will think I'm some big stupid incestuous freak and Mum is going to skin me alive and - “
“RON!” Harry bellowed, his hands still on Ron's shoulders. “SHUT. THE HELL. UP.”
Ron fell silent, blinking rapidly.
“You are going to stop. You are going to sleep. And you are going to take this.” Harry produced a flask of putrid-looking potion.
“What the bloody hell is that?”
“Dreamless sleep potion.”
Ron scowled up at him. “Mum's slipped me lots of that before, and I know it definitely should not look like that.”
“Look like what?” Harry looked curiously at his flask of potion and swirled around its lumpy contents.
“Like it was vomited up by one of Luna's imaginary friends and left in the sun too long.” Ron squinted at it. “You're rubbish at potions, Harry.”
“Are you going to take it or not?” Harry demanded, annoyed.
“Not.” Ron backed away from the potion. “I don't want to end up looking like Luna's snorkacks or something.”
“Hey, you're marrying her tomorrow. Her snorkacks will be your snorkacks.”
Ron went rigid.
“Okay, up to bed.” Harry added quickly, pushing a stiff Ron up the stairs and into his room. It would be the first night in nearly a year he'd go to bed without Luna by his side. A groom couldn't see his bride until the wedding.
“Stupid, barmy traditions.” Ron grumbled. The only thing that could ever calm him down was Luna's touch, her presence by his side, her softly uttered words that rarely made sense but captivated Ron all the same.
Harry would have thought it was kind of cute, Ron not being able to sleep without Luna beside him.
“I won't be able to go to bed without her.” Ron whined. “Never!”
If only he wasn't so obnoxious about it.
“Well, I'm sure as hell not crawling in there with you, so get over it! It's ONE NIGHT!”
- - -
Harry and Hermione met at the Burrow, listening to Ron's snores on the floor above them. Luna was fast asleep at the house she shared with her father. The two of them had thought it best to spend the night with their own families before they were both united the next day.
Hermione had deposited the massive amount of roses into the Burrow's cellar and decided to stay with Harry until he left the Weasley's as well. Harry lived at Number 12 Grimmauld Place now, with Hermione's room on the floor above his. Ron had lived there as well, with Luna as a kind of semi-roommate, until he had gathered the courage to “pop the question”.
“How's Luna?” Harry asked as he poured Hermione a late-night cup of tea.
“She's doing well. Very well, actually. You'd think tomorrow she was just going to go grocery shopping.” Hermione shrugged. “But I can tell she's excited, in her own Luna-esque way. It's all so romantic. Besides the turtle-people thing.”
Harry snorted. “The turtle-people thing?”
“Yes, the Klamagi. Supposedly they are the spirits of ancient turtle people who watch over those who are in love.” Hermione fought the urge to roll her eyes.
“Sounds kind of nice.”
“Harry. Turtle people.”
“Well, the watching over love part, I mean.”
“Yes, I suppose that's nice.” Hermione smiled slowly. “So how is Ron dealing?”
“He insulted my potion making skills, he wouldn't go to bed, and he's gone stark raving mad thinking he's marrying his mum or something, but other than that, he's fine.” Harry grinned. Hermione eyed the lumpy, brown and pink potion Harry set on the table.
“What is that?”
“Dreamless sleep potion!”
“Harry, it looks like something - “
“Something Luna's imaginary friends vomited up. I know!” Harry grumbled. “Ron was kind enough to point that out, thanks.”
Hermione laughed. “I don't know why, I can't for the life of me explain it and I never have been able to, but Ron and Luna really are perfect for each other.”
Harry nodded in agreement. “I can't imagine anyone else who thinks every single damn thing Ron does is cute or funny.”
“And I can't think of anyone else who is so enamored with everything Luna says.” Hermione shivered. “I'll bet Ron would think even the turtle people thing was amazing.”
“Klamagi.” Harry corrected cheekily.
“Yes, those.” Hermione sighed with a broad smile on her face. “So, have you ever thought of your wedding?”
Harry was startled. “Um, my wedding? Ummm…”
Hermione raised an eyebrow. “Surely you've had to have thought something about getting married.”
Harry furrowed his brow. After his defeat of Voldemort three years ago, he had mainly been focusing on spending time with his friends, his family. In all honesty he never truly believed he'd live long enough to get married. Even if he did, he would never be able to shake off the flashing neon arrow over his head that screamed out to everyone “THE BOY WHO LIVED”. Well actually he had removed the arrow and hexed Fred and George a bit for making it, but with or without it the stigma would still be there. A woman who could look past all that and want to be with Harry, not THE BOY WHO LIVED, seemed far too out of reach.
“Maybe. Someday. I'm not ready yet, I don't think,” Harry said vaguely, not too keen on revealing his negative outlook on love. “How about you?”
Hermione reached over and straightened Harry's collar, as she had done countless times in the past. “Same. Some day. We're still rather young, anyway.”
“Yeah. I just need the right girl.” Harry said, reached up to flip the collar back up defiantly.
“And I need the right guy.” Hermione reached over again to flip it back down. Harry laughed.
They fell silent, merely enjoying each others company in the kitchen and chuckling softly at the suggestive noises Ron was making in his sleep.
- - -
BREEET! BREEEET! BREEEET!
Harry's eyes shot open and he jolted upright, tangled in his sheets. He dove for his alarm clock and slammed a hand down on the snooze button. Then he grunted and planted his face back into his pillow, asleep once again in less than three seconds.
BREEEET! BREEEEEEEEEEEET!
The alarm went off again, even louder than before. Harry hit the snooze button once more and started to drift off.
HARRY POTTER YOU GET YOUR LAZY ARSE OUT OF BED RIGHT THIS INSTANT, YOUR BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED TODAY!
Now Harry was awake. Hermione's voice filled his head and he fell out of bed in a messy heap of blankets and pillows. He grabbed for his alarm clock and tore the plug away from the wall.
PLEASE, DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT WOULD WORK!? WHAT ARE YOU, A MUGGLE!? GET UP! GET UP NOW!!!
“Arggghhh!” Harry groaned, tossing the clock into the wall were it promptly levitated itself and hurtled into Harry's stomach.
“Hey, ow!”
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! NOW CHANGE!
Harry growled and pulled his black tuxedo pants on. He didn't bother with anything else then, instead he trudged down into the kitchen of Number 12 Grimmauld Place where Hermione was humming to herself and making some coffee.
“Good morning!” she greeted brightly, ignoring Harry's disheveled “I want to kill you” look.
“You…!” Harry fumed.
“Did you like your new alarm clock?” Hermione asked slyly. “I made two last night for the both of you.”
“Two?” Harry demanded, taking a seat and pouring no less than a dozen sugars into his coffee. Secretly, he admired the spell work she put into the clock, but he did not want to encourage such behavior. “Who else did you give one of those to? It better not have been Ron. People in comas have trouble getting married.”
Crack!
Ginny appeared in the kitchen, her hair a bushy, tangled mess and dark circles under her eyes. She looked murderously at Hermione, who merely greeted her with a grand smile and twinkle of the eye.
“Good morning, Ginny!”
“I'm going to kill you…”
“Would you like some coffee?”
Ginny practically pounced on the cup Hermione offered. “I'll kill you after coffee.”
“Honestly, you'd think I'd get some gratitude for making sure the best man and maid of honor were awake.” Hermione huffed, taking a seat across from the two. “Oh, Harry, don't drink so fast! It's very - “
“Ahhh!” Harry cried, fanning his mouth and trying to air out his tongue.
“ - hot.”
Ginny raised an eyebrow and quickly pushed away her source of caffeine and happiness. “I'll pass on the coffee.”
Crack!
Remus Lupin appeared, dressed in his best robes. Ron and Luna had chosen their old friend as the one who would marry them. They had both agreed that whoever married them had to be someone close to them, who understood their love and had seen it grow through the years. As the minister, his job in the wedding was the most important, aside from Ron and Luna's. Naturally, he had his graying hair brushed and styled neatly and his robes were brand new, thanks to Hermione's mishap with his dress old robes. Her sewing skills hadn't much improved since their time at Hogwarts.
“Good morning! Oh, coffee! I hope you don't mind…” Lupin swept up a cup thirstily, the others' warnings coming too slow, and downed its contents wolfishly.
“R-Remus?” Hermione asked weakly. Lupin's eyes grew wide.
“Are you okay?” Harry took the empty cup from his old professor's hand. “Did you, er, burn…”
“Ah…Ahm qui'e awigh'.” Lupin said gingerly with his no-doubt burnt tongue. “Wa' a bi' wahm fo' mah lahking…bu' ahm defneh-ly awake now.” **
“S-sorry…”
“Well, `en, ah shoo go on mah way…many fings ah do, af'ah aw.”*** Lupin said through his tearing eyes. He disapparated abruptly.
“Uh oh.” Ginny said.
“Hopefully that isn't an omen.” Hermione said sheepishly. “Burning the minister's tongue before the ceremony.”
“What could possibly go wrong?” Harry insisted. “Everyone's been obsessing over this thing for months. It's absolutely fool-proof.”
- - -
* Okay I'm no flower expert, all I know is when my aunt got married they stored the flowers in the fridge. So I guess flowers are supposed to be in a dark, cold place. Yeah. It was kinda unpleasant that morning though, when I went for some food and pulled out a bouquet. I can't eat flowers. Word.
** Translation: “I…I'm quite all right. Was a bit warm for my liking…but I'm definitely awake now.” - - I totally tried to talk like my tongue was burned so I could figure out how to type it out. That was so much fun.
*** Translation: Well then, I should go on my way…many things to do, after all.”
AUTHOR'S NOTE: In case any of you cared about my other story The Talisman…I'M SORRY. I know that's not good enough but seriously, school has taken over my life so much. I'm on Spring Break now though and I managed to finish this story so hopefully this is good enough? I hope? Please? :-(
Please Review. Constructive criticism is welcomed and humped in joy.
Anyway, next update tomorrow night (uh, Eastern Standard Time **NY REPRESENT. HOLLA**).
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BAM!
The front door of Number 12 Grimmauld Place swung open and crashed loudly into the wall. Hermione darted into the hallway to see what was going on.
“Ginny? I thought you said you were going home to change - “
“THE FLOWERS!” Ginny moaned. “Ron and Luna's roses!”
Hermione's eyes narrowed. “What happened to them?”
“They were in the cellar - “
“That's right, I put them there. I figured they'd be safe there…”
“Hermione, Fred and George's Volcano Lips were in there too!”
Hermione's stomach dropped. “Don't tell me - “
“THEY'RE ALL DEAD, HERMIONE!! Half of them were on fire and the other half of them were melting!”
Hermione couldn't stop herself from wondering how Fred and George's Volcano Lips could possibly burn and melt the same thing at the same time. It was ingenious really, the magic it took to get -
“HELLO!? HERMIONE!?” Ginny frantically rapped at the brunette's forehead. “Do not go all pondering-the-universe on me! We have to fix this! The wedding is in THREE HOURS!!”
“Right.” Hermione started towards the fireplace and reached her hand into the bowl of Floo Powder.
“I tried that!” Ginny wailed, clearly starting to panic. “Neville's shop is out of roses! They've only got carnations!”
“Well, would the bride or the groom be overly fussed if they had carnations?” Hermione pursed her lips. “I doubt they would even notice - “
“Hermione, my MUM will be there!”
Hermione's mouth was set in a grim line. That would be a problem. She wracked her brain through several ideas until one came up the clear winner.
“Ginny, get the carnations.”
“What? But - “
“Just trust me, get the carnations.”
- - -
Harry had just finished tying his bowtie, which was no great feat since he had secretly opted for the self-tying kind, when he heard the door downstairs swing open and two women start yelling. He was about to open his bedroom door to see what was going on when suddenly Neville Longbottom's round face appeared in his small mirror by his bed.
“Merlin, Neville, what if I was naked?!”
“Sorry! Sorry, um, sorry!” Neville stammered. “I - Harry…um, remember that quill you gave me to use for the engraving?”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
Neville Longbottom was the proud inventor of the Engraving Charm, which when cast on a normal quill would enable it to engrave any surface with the ease of regular writing. Harry had bought an expensive golden eagle feather quill just for engraving the special wedding bands of his two friends.
To everyone's surprise, after Hogwarts Neville had proven to be quite the artist. His love of Herbology prompted him to open up a plant shop with many interesting plants and flowers. He arranged them daily for any occasion, including weddings. After he found the wedding business to be booming he began to offer more services such as invitations and engraving. Neville's Celebration Shop for Every Occasion was a massive success…until perhaps that particular day.
“Well it turned out that…well, it really was a great quill and all…so big and shiny…I'm sure it must have cost a fortune…it's a really wonderful gift for the bride and groo - “
“What happened, Neville?”
“It was one of those spell-checking quills…”
Harry groaned and sat on his bed, hard. He remembered Ron's stupid spell-checking quill from 6th year.
“So I think my Engraving Charm must have messed up the Spelling Charm or something…and…”
“And what?” Harry asked, not really wanting to now the answer.
“Do you think Ron and Luna would mind changing their names to `Roonil Wazlib and Loonum Lurbgud'?”
Harry banged his forehead against the wall, very reminiscent of Dobby in his second year. “Can't you change it?”
“Well, the purpose of my Engraving Charm is to be permanent.”
“This is not a good day.”
“Harry - “
“How could I have been so stupid?! Everyone's knotted their knickers into twists over the wedding and the one thing I was in charge of - the RINGS - gets messed up because I got a bloody spell-checking quill and I'm the biggest idiot on the planet and - “
“Harry! Stop banging your head against the wall!”
He did, and looked over at the mirror morosely.
“Yeah I'm so sorry about this. I'll try and look for substitute bands, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get a hold of any jewelers at such short notice.” Neville fretted. “I'm so sorry. After this and what Hermione did to the flowers - “
“What?” Harry demanded, staring straight at Neville who was clearly beginning to sweat.
“I - um, you don't know?”
“Don't know what?!”
“I have…togofindtheringsBYE!” Neville disappeared from the mirror and Harry burst out the door and bounded down the steps.
“Please tell me Neville is joking!” he called as he landed on the first floor and faced Hermione, who was looking rather sheepish. “Was Ginny just here?”
“Er, yes.” Hermione squeaked. “She went to, ah, straighten something out. What's that about Neville?”
Harry looked pointedly at his housemate. “Neville said something about flowers? And you?”
“Oh!” Hermione's voice cracked. “Er, see what had happened…was…”
Crack!
Lupin appeared, his mouth hanging open and looking rather forlorn.
“Mah `ongue i' shill a li'l `endah.”* Lupin warbled.
Harry and Hermione blinked at him, not quite sure if Lupin was speaking English. Lupin grunted and pointed at his tongue, which was practically glowing bright red from earlier that morning.
“Remus! Your tongue! Why haven't you healed it yet?” Hermione gasped. “Oh, I forgot. Honorary Ministers can't use any other magic besides the binding during the day of the wedding. Didn't you see Mrs. Weasley?”
“She bithy wif some - “**
“Oh, Harry knows a good healing spell!” Hermione yelped. “I've got to go, bye!” she was gone before either men could blink.
Lupin looked anxiously at Harry, who was staring at where Hermione had stood. The sly little woman had gotten away.
“'Arry?”
“Oh sorry um…” Harry flicked his wand. “Okay, there you go. I'll see you later, Remus!”
He disapparated after Hermione.
- - -
“Where are they?” Hermione asked as soon as she appeared at the Burrow. Ginny dragged Hermione into the kitchen where Neville was setting about a ton of pink carnations all over the place. He waved.
“Hi! Hermione, I can't believe Harry doesn't know about the - “
Ginny slapped a hand unceremoniously over Neville's mouth. “Shh, mum's home!” She looked over at Hermione. “Everyone's already over at Hogwarts, putting the finishing touches on the yard and the inside of the castle. Only Mum and Ron are here, upstairs.”
“Okay…” Hermione looked over all the carnations carefully. “Okay, this is good.” She placed a single bouquet on the counter and lifted her wand.
“Transfiguro!”***
In the blink of an eye, the bouquet of pink carnations had become white roses.
“Wow!” Neville said, impressed. “That could come in handy when - “
“What are you waiting for?!” Ginny cried aiming Hermione's hand at the rest. “Get on with it!”
“I - I can only do about a dozen at a time.” Hermione admitted. “But if we all do it…”
Hermione's spell was harder than it looked, since it appeared Ginny could only transfigure half a bouquet and Neville could only handle one flower at a time. Hermione nervously looked at the copious amount of flowers, unsure of whether they would be able to finish in time. Before long they heard footsteps coming down the creaky stairs.
“Ginny? Are you there?” Mrs. Weasley called.
Ginny and Neville shot horrified looks at Hermione. Without thinking, Hermione launched herself out of the kitchen and engulfed Mrs. Weasley in the biggest, tightest bear-hug she could manage, steps before Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen.
“Oh - Hermione! Hello, dear!” she said in a strangled voice as Hermione squeezed harder and steered her discreetly away from the kitchen.
“Hi Mrs. Weasley!” Hermione bubbled with enthusiasm and hoped to Merlin Ginny and Neville were continuing the transfiguration. “I - I, um, I can't tell you how much I love you!”
Mrs. Weasley looked bewildered. “Thank you dear, I love you too. But I need to fetch something in the kitchen - “
“So much!” Hermione emphasized. Mrs. Weasley was looking a bit concernedly at Hermione now.
“Hermione…I know this must be hard for you…”
It was Hermione's turn to look puzzled.
“I understand that all this fuss and me jumping all over the place to keep things in order must make you…miss your own mum…” Mrs. Weasley said sadly. Tears were brimming in her warm, motherly eyes.
Hermione's parents had died during the war with Voldemort three years ago. She had more or less come to terms with it, and collected herself enough to move on even with the painful hole in her life. Mrs. Weasley was very good at recognizing when Hermione needed a mother in her life and she was always there for Hermione when she needed her.
“Oh, Mrs. Weasley, I'm not - “
She heard something crash in the kitchen and Ginny cursed. Mrs. Weasley looked at the door.
“- handling this well at all! I miss my mum!” Hermione lied, blocking her entrance.
“Oh, Hermione, she's always with you!” Mrs. Weasley assured her, wrapping her in a warm hug. Hermione felt guilty for using her mother like this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Her parents would forgive her.
“It's…it's just so hard!” Hermione wept as something in the kitchen crashed again. “I…my mum won't be at my own wedding!”
Okay, she would stop eating sweets for a year. No sugar for a whole year. And she'd take up flossing again.
“Sweetie, of course she will. You won't see her, but you know she will.” Mrs. Weasley cooed softly into her ear. She gently rocked Hermione and just then, Ginny and Neville tumbled out of the kitchen.
“Done!” Neville cried.
Mrs. Weasley stared. “Done with what? Why aren't you at Hogwarts, Neville?”
“I…oh yeah! Bye!” Neville disapparated abruptly.
“I need to, uh, go help Luna.” Ginny mumbled.
“Help Luna with what?” Mrs. Weasley asked suspiciously.
“Her…her…orionikle…” Ginny said lamely.
Hermione and Mrs. Weasley stared at her.
“Her what?” Hermione dared to ask. Ginny glared at her furiously and Hermione suddenly realized she had made the orionikle up just so she could get away. “Oh, uh, never mind.”
“Okay bye - “
“Hang on, what orionikle?” Mrs. Weasley demanded. “Is it an animal? I thought agreed with the Lovegoods that no animals were to be allowed at the wedding.”
“No, no it's not an animal!” Ginny said. “It's…it's like a good luck charm. It's…it's like a necklace that she wears around her...neck…”
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“…then she spins around three times invoking the spirits of the turtle people Klamagi. She hops on one foot, eats a crumpet, and then bows towards the East.” Ginny finally finished, somewhat impressed by her made-up ritual. Even Hermione look impressed. It really did seem like something Luna would do.
“Oh, that girl.” Mrs. Weasley said kindly. “So creative.”
“Yeah, well I've got to go help her with her ironkickle.” Ginny said, disapparating abruptly.
Mrs. Weasley narrowed her eyes. “I thought it was called…they're up to something. You don't raise Fred and George without gaining a few new instincts.”
“Hah!” Hermione barked. “I mean, er, they're probably just nerv - “
She was interrupted by a strangled cry that seemed to come from the pantry. Harry burst in, his face pale.
“Hermione the flowers!” he gasped.
Oh Merlin, Ginny didn't toss out the ruined flowers! Hermione groaned inwardly. Outwardly, she plastered on a stupid grin.
“The flowers are fine!” Hermione said, through gritted teeth.
“Have you gone completely barmy!? Come take a look at - “
Hermione bolted towards Harry and poked him in the one spot she knew he was ticklish. It was her secret, that night she discovered it while trying to fight him and his Quidditch broom away from her books, and she had never shared it with anyone.
“Stop!” he begged.
“Stop what?” she asked, relentlessly poking the one ticklish weakness of the great Harry Potter and reducing him to gasping for air. She glared at him pointedly and shot a look towards the completely baffled Mrs. Weasley. He finally got the hint.
“All right you two.” Mrs. Weasley glowered at them. “What's going on here?! Where are the flowers?!”
Hermione feebly pointed towards the kitchen doors and Mrs. Weasley stormed through them.
She was greeted by a room packed to the brim with beautiful, flawless white roses. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and Harry shot her a look. She bit her lip.
“Oh, they're gorgeous!” Mrs. Weasley gushed, picking up a bouquet and inhaling. “That's odd. They smell like carnations.”****
Hermione bit harder and Harry's eyes widened in realization.
“You Trans - OW?!”
Hermione stamped on his foot as Mrs. Weasley forgot about the smell and continued to fawn over the gorgeous flowers.
“I'll be taking these to the wedding now, dears, please get ready quickly. Ron is upstairs getting changed, I'm sure he'll want to see you two before the wedding.” Mrs. Weasley smiled lovingly at them and waved her wand, disappearing the flowers and disapparating herself.
“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Harry finally exploded. Hermione stamped on his foot again.
“Ow! Stop doing that!”
“Shh! Ron is upstairs!” Hermione hissed. “Come on, we have to throw out the old flowers!”
“You mean the dead flowers!” Harry cried. Trying to ignore Harry's adorable expression of confusion and anger, Hermione made a face and pushed Harry out of the kitchen and down to the pantry where she witnessed the horror of the dead flowers for the first time.
“They really are half burned and half melted.” Hermione observed one petal which appeared to be burning and melting at the same time.
“Care to explain?!” Harry yelped in a high, strangled voice.
“Fred and George's Volcano Lips were in here. They did something to the flowers.” Hermione said, her eyes scanning the pantry for the product in question. She was very curious indeed as to what exactly Volcano Lips were.
“Volcano - these?” Harry lifted a batch of dying roses, revealing a large cardboard box. They opened it up and found smaller boxes, each labeled “VOLCANO LIPS: THE SNOGGING SENSATION THAT'S STORMING THE NATION”
“What on earth?” Hermione wondered reading the side of the box. What is the perfect kiss? It's hot and intense, complete with the fiery passion and exploding rockets. Now this is your chance to make any snog the perfect snog. Coming home late from the office and only able to manage a peck on the cheek for your wife? Volcano Lips will rejuvenate your love life -
“Ingenious.” Harry said. He began to blush a little, watching Hermione remove an individualized package and scrutinize the suggestive packaging.
“It's preposterous!” Hermione scowled. “Its wonderful magic, but really, who needs - “
“Mum?” Ron's voice sounded dangerously close. Hermione looked desperately at Harry, who promptly dove out of the pantry and accidentally tackled the groom to the floor.
“Bloody Hell, Harry!” Ron shouted, shoving his best man off. Harry got up and offered a hand to help Ron.
“Sorry, mate.” He apologized. “I was just walking out and didn't see you.”
“Didn't see me!? And why exactly did you come flying out of the pantry?” Ron narrowed his eyes suspiciously and made for the door. “What's in there? What are you hiding?”
“Nothing! No!” Harry cried, but Ron pushed past him and flung open the door.
Hermione stood there, surrounded by nothing but shelves of Weasley food. Apparently she had somehow disposed of the roses very quickly. Ron scanned the room and his eyes landed on the boxes of Volcano Lips. Ron stared at Harry, at Hermione, and then back forth about six more times before stopping in between them at the box of Volcano Lips.
Harry's eyes widened. “Ron, we weren't - “
“Oh, wow.” Ron whispered in awe.
Hermione raised an eyebrow. “What - oh! Oh, no! No!”
“No way!” Harry added.
Hermione rounded on him. “No way? What do you mean by that?”
“I…I mean…”
“Well, Mr. Potter, for your information I'm not exactly dying to kiss you either!”
“But...but you just said - “
“It's not what was said, it's just the way you said it, is all.” Hermione replied coldly. “You sounded kind of disgusted.”
“I don't think you're disgusting!”
Ron smirked.
“Stop looking at us like that, we weren't doing anything!” Hermione said indignantly.
“Listen if you two decide to hook up that's fine, but save it for after my wedding day.” Ron snickered. “You're stealing our thunder!”
“Shut up.” Harry grunted, pushing Ron out of the pantry. “Get your stupid tux on and get to Hogwarts. Your mum is waiting.”
Ron hopped up the steps, gleefully humming something that sounded suspiciously like, “Harry and Hermione sitting in a tree…”
“Yeah, okay Mister `I take thee, Mum'!” Harry called up. The singing stopped abruptly and a bedroom door slammed.
Harry laughed and Hermione shook her head, disbelievingly.
“You shouldn't tease him too much.” Hermione said. “It's his wedding day! That was just an outlet of nerves.”
“Mm-hmm, sure it was.” Harry replied dryly. “He's been making remarks like that for ages since he gathered the balls to admit he liked Luna. How `if he was able to do, I should too'.”
“You should what?”
“You and me.” Harry shrugged.
“Me and you?” Hermione repeated.
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah…I'll go check up on him now.” Harry ran up the stairs, leaving Hermione alone with the Volcano Lips.
- - -END CHAPTER 2- - -
* Translation: “My tongue is still a little tender.”
** Translation: “She's busy with something.”
*** I totally just made that spell up, I think. I dunno. I was too lazy to check if such a spell already existed. So yeah.
**** Again, I know absolutely nothing about flowers. For all I know, roses and carnations smell exactly the same! But I'm taking artistic license or whatever here. In this universe, they smell different. So there :-P
Ahem, see you peoples tomorrow. Review please. I like constructive criticism. I cuddle with it at night.
I updated just a tad early today. I'm just really bored :-(
- - -
Harry and Hermione managed to dress themselves in record time and successfully guide Ron into his tux and to the grounds of Hogwarts, where the ceremony was being held. The sun was out, not too bright, and the sky was a clear blue save for a few non-threatening white fluffy clouds. Two hundred seats were organized facing away from the massive front doors of Hogwarts with a gold and blue carpet dividing the seats into two sections. In front of the seats was a large white wedding arch, under which Ron Weasley and Luna Lovegood would become husband and wife. The flowers, the carnations expertly transfigured into white roses, looked even more gorgeous than the real thing. Hermione could not deny Ginny and Neville's impressive spell work.
“RONALD WEASLEY!” Mrs. Weasley's voice screeched from the castle.
“Coming, Mum!” Ron shot his friends a terrified look before running off. Harry and Hermione laughed to themselves.
“This is all so beautiful.” Hermione whispered taking a single rose in her hand and sauntering underneath the wedding arch.
“Yeah…I hope mine turns out as good as this.” Harry agreed, walking to her side and touching the wooden arch. It was handmade by Neville himself, and made especially for Ron and Luna's wedding. Their initials were intricately carved in the side so that they could keep the arch as a memento.
“So you do think about marriage sometimes!” Hermione smiled.
“I guess so. A little.”
“That's good.”
“Yeah.”
They stood next to each other for a moment longer before they realized that they were standing side by side underneath a wedding arch, Harry in a tuxedo and Hermione in an elegant dress. They shot apart, neither really knowing why.
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!” Ron's little niece Gina suddenly ran screaming past, her brother Neil in hot pursuit, holding what looked suspiciously like a spatula caked with…cake.
“Harry?”
“Yes?”
“Was Ron and Luna's cake chocolate with strawberry layers?”
“I think so, yeah.” Harry replied, then froze when he saw that the spatula little Neil was chasing Gina with was covered with Ron and Luna's wedding cake.
“Crap!” Harry groaned and he ran after Neil, who was running after Gina, who seemed to be running just for the sake of running. Hermione didn't even bother to hide the laughter as Gina ducked under a reception table, Neil followed, and Harry ended up crashing into the table edge headfirst.
“Harry!” Hermione ran up and lifted Harry's bangs. “Looks like you've got a matching pair now.”
“Get them!”
The two of them ran after the youngsters. Naturally Harry, an amateur athlete and man who was not wearing clean white heels, managed to snatch Neil first, who was giggling like mad. When Gina discovered the chase was over, she too collapsed into giggles. Hermione laughed as well, watching Harry handle the children so well.
“Why are you chasing your sister?” Harry demanded of the boy.
“Coz she runnin'!”
Hermione looked to Gina. “Why were you running?”
“He chasin' me!”
Neil squirmed away from Harry and Hermione couldn't help but snigger as Neil spread some cake over Harry's nose.
“Cakeface!” Neil shrieked and ran, dropping the spatula. Gina ran over, grabbed the spatula and swiftly slapped it against the back of Harry's pants.
“CAKEBUM!” she squealed and Neil howled. Then, as if someone had flicked the “off” switch, the two of them skipped off like little angels to where Hermione suspected their parents, Fred and Angelina, were chatting with other guests. Hermione offered a helping hand to Harry, shaking her head.
“Those two are just like their dad.”
Harry nodded and took her hand, taking a moment to enjoy its softness. He looked and saw Hermione smiling down at him, and he barely realized something had slid off her wrist and onto his.
“That's a nice bracelet.” Harry noticed for the first time a simple gold-colored band that had bee around her wrist. He replaced it on its rightful spot around her creamy skin.
“Oh, that's just a cheap friendship bracelet.” Hermione explained. “Ginny and I got them together at a make-your-own-jewelry stand in Diagon Alley. I don't really own much jewelry so I figured this was as good as anything else I had.”
“Well, it's nice.” Harry said sincerely. At least on her wrist, it was. “How come we never got friendship bracelets? Me, You, and Ron.”
Hermione shrugged. “Because you two are dirty boys.”
Harry laughed. “Are we, now?”
“You're going to need to clean off your bum.” Hermione said. Harry chuckled.
“Any volunteers?”
Hermione made a face. “Get up, Potter.”
Harry took her outstretched hand again, but instead of hoisting himself up he pulled her down with him onto the grass.
“HARRY!” Hermione cried. “I'm in my dress!”
“Oh, you needed to lighten up a bit anyway...“ Harry paused a moment to lick some of the brown and pink icing off the tip of his finger.
“Lighten up?! Okay this was funny but we've already accidentally sabotaged the flowers, burned the minister's tongue, and ruined the best man's pants! There is absolutely nothing - “
Hermione's mouth dropped open as Harry wavered for a moment before falling face first onto the freshly manicured grass.
- - -
“HARRY!?” Hermione yelped. She frantically grabbed Harry's wrist, not daring to take a breath. A pulse, thank Merlin. Trying not to panic, she bent low and examined his forehead and neck for any possible trauma. Completely bewildered at having found absolutely nothing wrong with Harry, she flipped him over on to his back and listened closely for breathing. It was deep and regular.
“Harry, can you hear me?” Hermione lightly patted his cheek, trying to control her thundering heart. “Harry, please wake up.”
No response. Hermione figured he was okay, though, as long as he was breathing and his heart was beating. If anything he appeared to just be in a very deep sleep.
She quickly scanned the Hogwarts grounds. There was no one within spell-casting distance that she could see. If someone had attacked Harry, they should have already been ambushed. There were also no witnesses, so Hermione didn't have to worry about news getting to the wedding party. An unconscious best man did not bode well for the ceremony.
Perhaps she should have let Harry sleep in longer? Hermione was beginning to become astonished at how much she could single-handedly ruin a wedding.
“Harry, I'm going to pick you up…um…” Hermione bit her lip. Going into the castle with an unconscious best man was just not going to happen. Not only would everyone panic after this amazing wedding had been meticulously planned, but Mrs. Weasley would have a stroke. She looked over and caught sight of Hagrid's old hut across the field at the edge of the forest. Grabbing the shoulders of Harry's tuxedo, she dragged him about ten feet before she collapsed, out of breath. For a skinny person, Harry was quite heavy.
“Oh, smart Hermione. Real brilliant.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Wingardium Leviosa.”
Harry's sleeping form floated in front of her as she sprinted towards Hagrid's cabin.
BANG BANG BANG!
“'o is it?”
“It's me, Hermione!” Hermione called, continuing to bang on the heavy wooden door to emphasize the point that this was an emergency and Hagrid needed to stop feeding his illegal pets or whatever he was doing.
“'Ang on, `Ermione!” Hagrid called back. Hermione heard rummaging around inside the hut and she hoped she wouldn't accidentally become a witness to some illegal animal smuggling.
“I can't hold on, Hagrid, this is really important!”
“I `aven't got any clothes on, `Ermione, just give me a second!”
Hermione nearly dropped Harry down Hagrid's front steps as her mind was suddenly assaulted by a very hairy, very large, very unwanted image.
The door swung open and Hagrid appeared, dressed in clean navy robes. His thick, wild hair was tamed back with what looked like axel grease and a few strands of his wiry beard were twisted into a single braid. Hermione couldn't help but stare at it before she motioned at Harry.
“Hagrid, I need a place to - “
“Blimey! `Arry's asleep!”
“I know, Hagrid!” Hermione quickly rattled off what had happened, which was basically that Harry had just suddenly fallen asleep.
“'As `e got that disease whatsit called…nargle-pepsi?” Hagrid wondered.
“No! Harry hasn't got narcolepsy!”
Hagrid fingered the braid in his beard and his brow furrowed in thought. Hermione noticed that his face was scrubbed clean and she tried to remember if Madame Maxime had been invited to the wedding.
“Did `e eat anything?”
Hermione thought for a moment. “He had licked cake icing off his finger right before he passed out.” She realized.
Suddenly her knee became dangerously weak and she teetered backwards into a chair Hagrid had pulled out just in time.
“Oh no…”
“What is it?”
“Harry's potion! Last night Harry tried to make Dreamless Sleep potion for Ron, and I think we accidentally left it on the table when we left!”
“Dreamless Sleep potion dun look like cake icing, even I know tha', `Ermione - “
“Harry's did.” Hermione said sheepishly. “Kind of like thick melted chocolate with pink in it. Someone must have added it to the cake by accident!”
“Snape must not `ave been exaggeratin' at those bloody meetin's then, eh? `Arry really is rubbish at potions.” Hagrid laughed.
“No, he must be very good at potions.” Hermione sighed. “He's gone and knocked himself out, hasn't he?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Oh! That cake!” Hermione jumped up and started to run out the door. “Hagrid, please, can you try to wake him up? Don't tell anyone he's asleep. The wedding would be ruined.”
“Sure thing, `Ermione.” Hagrid gently lay Harry on his bed and began to poke him on the back, causing Harry's whole body to quake.
“Oh, and try not to hurt him?” Hermione said.
“I'm not `urtin' `im!” Hagrid said defensively. “'E's a strong one. Defeated the Dark Lord, din' `e?”
Hermione sighed and nodded before bolting towards the castle. At the door she nearly collided with Ginny.
“Hermione! Where's the fire?” Ginny joked.
“Where's the cake?”
“Uh-uh, not you too.” Ginny shook her head defiantly. “Ron already tried to sneak a taste. Got away with a tiny bit of icing, but I caught - “
“NO!” Hermione cried. She completely forgot that she was in a stone corridor and that her voice echoed. Everyone in the castle stared at her. “Umm, sorry.”
“What's your problem?” Ginny asked as she was pulled aside by Hermione.
“Where's Ron?”
“He ran off to savor that one bit of icing.” Ginny rolled her eyes. “I swear, it must be that special icing Mum made last minute. I just smeared some on this morning, looked gross but Mum's food always tastes good - “
“Ginny, listen…” Hermione began, but stopped. She had no time to lose; she had to find that cake. “Where is the cake?”
Ginny's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms across her chest, making her bear striking resemblance to her mother. “You're hiding something.”
“Where's Ron?”
“What's going on?”
“Bloody hell!”
The two women spun around to see Neville come running from the boy's loo down the hall.
“Ginny! Hermione!” He cried, running towards them and nearly tripping over his own two feet. “It's Ron, he's - !”
Hermione clamped a hand over his mouth.
“Where is he?”
“Mmmph.”
“Oh, sorry.” She released his face. “Where is he?”
“HE'S - “
“Quieter!” Hermione hissed.
“Hermione, what the bloody hell is going on?” Ginny demanded.
“Ron's in the boy's loo but he's - “
Hermione didn't listen for the rest. She ran.
- - -
“Oh, Ron!” Hermione gasped. Her best friend was lying on the gray-tiled floor, fast asleep.
“What the hell?!” Ginny demanded for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day.
“He just passed out while looking at himself in the mirror!” Neville cried. “I was just right there and he suddenly fell backwards!”
Hermione rubbed at her forehead and squinched her eyes shut. An unconscious best man wasn't nearly as bad as an unconscious groom. There just was no wedding without the groom. Everyone was going to go crazy. The wedding would be ruined. Mrs. Weasley was going to have a heart attack.
“AHEM!” Ginny practically shouted. “WHAT. THE. HELL.”
Hermione quickly explained about the icing and Harry's Dreamless Sleep Potion. She explained how Harry was asleep with Hagrid and Hagrid was doing his best trying to wake him up. She explained that somehow they needed to wake Ron the hell up. She explained to Ginny and Neville that the world was slowly going mad, one person at a time.
“Oh.”
“Oh.”
“So now you know, please tell me where the cake is!” Hermione begged.
“The kitchens, of course. Dobby should be in the Great Hall. He's dressed like a genie, you can't miss him.” Ginny pointed out the door. “Neville and I will try to wake Ron up.”
Hermione nodded and made her way to the Great Hall. Sure enough, there standing in a pair of white poofy pants, a purple vest, and a light blue turban, was Dobby. She didn't even bother to ask.
“Dobby, where - ?“
“I is getting these clothes from the Indian store at Diagon Alley!” Dobby said exasperatedly, as if he had been explaining them to people all day. “Miss Patil is saying that these is the common formal wears of ancient - “
“Dobby, that's not what I was going to ask.” Hermione interrupted. “I need to know where the cake is.”
“Oh! I is showing you, Miss Hermione!” he grinned.
- - -
Hermione stared at the cake. The potion Harry had concocted that looked like dried animal vomit actually made the cake look…appetizing, like chocolate and strawberry frosting. It did look rather good, so she almost felt bad when she picked it up and tossed all 7 layers of it into the bin.
“What is you doing!” Dobby cried, thoroughly scandalized.
“The cake had some sleeping potion mixed in it by accident.” Hermione explained. “Harry and Ron both had some and now they are practically comatose.”
Dobby's eyes widened. “We must tell Miss Weezy - !”
“No!” Hermione knelt down to face Dobby. “Please don't tell anyone about this. The wedding would be ruined.”
Dobby nodded. “You is needing a new cake then.”
Hermione sighed. “I'll apparate to a bakery and see what they've got. I doubt I could find a cake as good as that one, but - “
“Oh Miss Hermione, don't worry. I is making the new cake!”
Hermione's jaw dropped. “Really?”
“It is no problem for Dobby!” the house elf beamed. “I is having it all done by the end of the ceremony.”
“Oh, Dobby!” Hermione swept the little house elf up into a big hug. “Thank you so much! You're the best!”
Dobby blushed, patting Hermione nervously on the back. “You is very welcome. I is owing you and Master Potter and his Weezy a lot anyway.”
“No, really, thank you.” Hermione put the elf down. “I have to go check on the others, but thank you! Thank you!” She ran off, leaving Dobby alone in the kitchen.
“They is such nice wizards.” Dobby said fondly to himself as he began to prepare the cake. “I is making this cake extra special!”
- - -
Hermione swept up the steps and crashed directly into Harry.
“Harry!”
“Hermione!” Harry said, pulling himself and Hermione up.
“You're awake!”
“Your observational skills are amazing.” Harry grinned.
“Oh, Harry, the cake - Ron - “
“I know, I know, Ginny filled me in. Hagrid is working on Ron right now.” Harry suddenly blushed a violent red color and averted her eyes. Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“What'd he do to wake you up? You were knocked out cold!”
“I don't want to talk about it. Maybe Ron will, when Hagrid wakes him up.”
Hermione stared. “What did he do?”
Harry shrugged still trying to avoid eye contact. “He…he has really big…there was a…smell…”
“Ah!” Hermione clamped her hands over her ears. “I don't want to hear anymore.”
“Told you so.” Harry smiled weakly. Hermione sighed and Harry pulled her closer into a warm hug, caressing her soft hair. It was straightened and shiny, the dim light of the corridor making it gleam just the right amount. He thought she looked gorgeous with her hair tamed like this, but it simply didn't feel the same. It wasn't as full as life, as fluffy, soft and unique as her normal hair. Harry liked it when he ran a hand down her long hair and it puffed back up defiantly.
“You're amazing, you know that?” Harry whispered into her ear.
“I most certainly am not.” She said, her voice muffled against Harry's shirt. “I nearly ruined the wedding. Everything that went wrong was my fault.”
“That's a load of rubbish and you know it. Besides, do you realize how much you saved? How many crises you averted? How Ron would have thrown a fit, Luna would be in tears, and Mrs. Weasley would in all probability be dead right now, if you hadn't fixed everything and hid it so well? You're a hero Hermione!”
Hermione snorted. “No I'm not.”
“Yes you are. You deserve a medal!”
Hermione laughed. “Now you're just being silly.”
“I am not! A big shiny gold medal, for Marital Unfortunate Circumstance Undoing Services.”
“M.U.C.U.S…?”
“Oh so you're making fun of my acronyms now?” Harry chuckled. Hermione laughed.
“We should go find Ron.”
“Yeah.”
- - - END CHAPTER 3 - - -
Note: Did I mention this was kind of a short story? **sheepish** I'm trying to decide whether to split the last part into 2 chapters or just have the next one be the last one. Right now it's looking like 2 more chapters, though.
Aaaaand also did I mention I suck at Hagrid-speak (and British speak in general, I suppose)? And that his and Dobby's speech is a HUGE PAIN IN THE BUTTCHINSKI to spell-check?
Ah well. Tomorrow!
DISCLAIMER: I forgot I'm supposed to write one of these. I DO own Harry Potter and ALL affiliated characters. Take THAT. BAHAHAHA.
…on OPPOSITE DAY!! **cracks self up into a million pieces**
(sorry)
- - -
Ron's face was so pale he could have been mistaken for a Hogwarts ghost. Hagrid didn't seem to notice and slapped him on the back jovially, nearly sending him sprawling across the washroom floor.
“No worries then, eh, Ron?” Hagrid strutted off; probably back to his hut to finish getting ready. Ron sat down hard and Harry and Hermione walked in. Ginny rubbed him supportively on the shoulder, equally as pale as her brother.
“Hagrid woke you up?” Harry asked quietly. “With the, uh…”
Ron and Ginny nodded wordlessly. Hermione looked back and forth between the Weasleys and Harry.
“What did he do to wake you guys up?!” Hermione demanded.
Ginny shook her head vigorously. “You really, seriously do not want to know, Hermione.”
“Yes I do!”
Suddenly the four of them heard a loud noise as the washroom door was shoved open, nearly clear off its hinges. Neville was there, his face flushed and sweaty. Hermione felt her stomach drop. That particular day Neville was unfortunately the constant bringer of bad news, and while Hermione tried not to be the kill-the-messenger type, it was just not a good day.
“Umm, Harry? A word?” he squeaked.
Hermione rubbed at her eyebrows in exasperation. “What happened?”
“Uh…well…Harry…?” Neville shot a look to him for help, but Harry was as clueless as Hermione was. He stared at him.
“Yeah?”
“The, uh…I need a little help with the…” Unable to voice his problem in front of the others, Neville extended the pointer finger of his right hand and formed an “O” shape with the pointer and thumb on his left. Then he moved his right finger in and out of the “O”.
“NEVILLE!” Hermione cried, affronted by his vulgar hand gestures.
“Ewww!” Ron and Ginny agreed.
“No! No, it's not…not that!” Neville stammered. “I…I need…Harry, will you just bloody come with me?”
Harry looked a bit hesitant to join Neville after his little finger puppet show, but Neville gave him no choice. He finally grabbed the best man by the wrist and dragged him away.
- - -
“Neville, I don't really know what to say. You know I'm not really interested in…um…” Harry began.
“Not that!” Neville hissed. “The rings!”
Harry gasped. “I forgot about the damn rings!”
“Yeah, well, I couldn't find a single jeweler on such short notice. At least, none that were willing to give me replacement rings for cheap.” Neville said regretfully. “Legally, anyway. There was this one dodgy fellow at Knockturn Alley that wanted to sell me something that gives the wearer the power to engulf his or her partner in flames - “
“You're going off track there, Neville.”
“Oh, right. So anyway, I pulled a Hermione and transfigured something into the wedding rings. Two somethings, actually.”
Harry stared at him incredulously. “You did what?!”
“Well, it was a lot easier with Hermione's carnations to roses spell, because carnations are flowers just like roses. So naturally it was much easier to just change the appearance of a carnation.”
“Okay…”
“The trick is to find an object similar to what you want to transfigure it into. You remember McGonagall teaching us about that, right? If you want to make a cake it's easier to transfigure a loaf of bread instead of a brick or something. The effects last longer and… “
Harry narrowed his eyes at Neville. He was babbling now. Obviously he was trying to avoid saying something out right. Harry stopped Neville by taking his shoulder.
“Neville, what are you trying to tell me?”
“Itransfiguredcookies.”
“What?”
“I transfigured a pair of cookies into the wedding rings. Because they were round and stuff. They were all that I could find!” Neville cleared his throat. “And, um…”
“What, Neville?!”
Suddenly Ron's nephew Neil, the ring bearer, galloped past the two men, flopping his white lacy pillow around like it was a cowboy hat.
“Hi Unka Harry! Hi Unka Nebill! Tanks fo da cookies they real good!” he waved his pillow at them before galloping off outside the castle.
“Oh, sweet Merlin.” Harry had to sit down. Unfortunately his rear end did not come into contact with a chair and he ended up leaning against the stone wall and slowly sliding down onto the floor.
“Uh, yeah. Baked goods are apparently a lot different than gold rings and I'm not exactly a transfiguration expert. The cookies changed back and he ate them. We haven't got any rings for the ceremony.” Neville said sheepishly.
“Ron is going to kill me!” Harry groaned. “Neville, we've got to find something else to transfigure into the rings!”
“I haven't got a clue were to start looking.” Neville admitted.
“We need two things…preferably small…round…made of gold…” Harry said slowly. Then, light bulb moment.
“A snitch! We've got to find two snitches!” Harry cried.
“That's brilliant, Harry!” Neville lauded. “I'll bet there are at least four Quidditch trunks in the locker rooms, one for each house. We'll just borrow them!”
- - -
After about half an hour of breaking into the locker rooms, smashing the locks on two Quidditch trunks, and trying to get the snitches to sit still so that they could be transfigured, Harry finally decided their efforts were futile. They had finally immobilized the two annoying snitches to a bench with a sticking charm, but for some reason the snitches just wouldn't change. With each attempt they merely fluttered their tiny little wings at them mockingly.
“D'you think it has something to do with all the charms on them?” Neville wondered out loud. “They've got dozens of Anti-Jinxing and Cursing spells on them to prevent tampering before a game…maybe that's what's stopping them from being transfigured.”
“Bloody Hell!” Harry grunted, frustrated and tired. He threw the increasingly irritating snitches at the wall in anger, but they just flittered out the door where they would no doubt be a nuisance to someone else.
“The wedding starts in half an hour.” Neville said unhelpfully, looking down at his watch. “We're going to need to be up there in fifteen minutes!”
“I know, I know, but we've got to find rings!” Harry said, making his way out of the locker rooms. He knew that if word got out that he had ruined the wedding, facing the Entire Weasley Clan would be like being mauled by a pack of rabid dogs. And Mrs. Weasley.
“There's nothing else to Transfigure!”
“Harry! Neville!” Hermione called as Harry and Neville emerged from the Quidditch locker rooms. “What were you…doing…oh never mind. Mrs. Weasley is going to throw a fit if you aren't at the altar in 5 seconds! You too, Neville!”
“Sorry!” Neville whimpered as he scampered off. “Harry, just forget about them. Just tell the truth, we've got nothing else to lose.”
Harry didn't answer. He was staring at Hermione's hands, which were resting on her elegant curves in irritation.
“Harry, what are you looking at?” Hermione asked self consciously.
“Oh, no! I wasn't…” Harry trailed off and took Hermione's hand.
“What are you doing?”
“Hermione, can I borrow this bracelet?” Harry asked quickly, not waiting for an answer and slipping her gold friendship bracelet off her wrist. “Thanks, got to run! I'll see you at the altar!” He ran off, leaving Hermione completely bewildered.
- - -
“GINNY!” Harry all but screamed as he tore after the maid of honor. “Ginny, I need to borrow something!”
“Harry! Where were you, we're supposed to be lining up - “
“I can't explain now, I just need…” Harry's heart fell as he looked down and realized Ginny wasn't wearing her friendship bracelet. “How come you're not wearing your gold friendship bracelet?”
Ginny cocked an eyebrow. “It's not fancy enough for a wedding. I wear it almost every other day though. Why?”
“Bloody hell.” Harry said. The wedding song was already starting and it was almost their turn to march down the blue and gold carpeted aisle. Ginny grabbed Harry by the wrist and dragged him out with her. They were the first pair to come down the aisle.
“Come on.” Ginny hissed. She hooked their elbows and pulled him close, and the charmed Hogwarts doors opened themselves out into the beautifully decorated field. The carpet was soft under his feet and lined by strings of the transfigured carnations leading to the wedding arch. George Weasley was having a ball, banging away at the organ to a particularly jaunty rendition of “The Wedding March”, and Harry silently begged for him to slow down so he could have time to think.
Ron was already standing at the front, beaming, blissfully having no idea at how much the wedding had been - and still was - teetering on thin ice. Lupin was standing at Ron's side. They grinned encouragingly at Harry and Ginny as they began their journey down the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw carpet.
Harry hadn't realized this many people were going to be at the wedding. Two hundred people, a hundred on each side, didn't seem like that much on paper. It wasn't until that moment he realized how many people two hundred actually was. Two hundred people meant four hundred eyes, three hundred ninety-nine if you counted Mad-Eye, who was watching him closely from the third row as if he could see each individual bead of sweat running down his neck. Hagrid was blubbering into a large pink handkerchief, with Madame Maxime patting him on the back. Harry wondered how he was going to pull off creating rings in front of everyone.
“Smile.” Ginny instructed under her breath. Harry nodded and did his best not to look like a crazed ax murderer. All of a sudden, he flinched as something stung him in the corner of his eye. He looked over to see what had blinded him. The sunlight off of Ginny's golden hoop earring.
His eyes widened and he tried desperately to think of some way to get at it. Wandless magic would have to do.
“Accio earring” Harry breathed.
“What?” Ginny asked. The earring tugged away from her ear and into Harry's hand. “Ow, what was that?”
“Sorry, nothing.” Harry whispered.
They finally made it to the front and stood on either side of the white wedding arch, Harry clutching the golden bracelet and Ginny's earring in his palm. They looked back at the Hogwarts doors and saw the ring bearer, little Neil Weasley, holding his white lace pillow. The white netting that was supposed to encase the rings was empty. Luckily the only one anal enough to notice, Mrs. Weasley, was seated in the front row sobbing in joy as if Voldemort had been defeated all over again. Gina Weasley, who was walking next to his brother, either didn't notice or didn't care as she skipped down the aisle tossing petals from her basket in every direction.
Behind them, Hermione and Neville shot Harry angry and apprehensive looks, respectively. They were the first pair of bridesmaid and groomsman to walk down the aisle and it appeared Hermione had forced the ring situation out of him.
Despite the struggling expression on her face, Hermione looked radiant. Harry wished not for the first time that he was Neville, with his arm locked around the beautiful brunette. She had virtually no jewelry on now, since he had stolen her bracelet, and looked rather plain compared to Luna's gorgeous blond cousins who were marching behind them. However, Harry still could not take his eyes off her. She looked tired, which was expected after the morning they just had, but the look worked for his favorite bookworm. If anything, the strands of hair falling from her formerly elegant bun and her flushed pink skin made her even more attractive. It was evidence of how determined and kind-hearted she was. A stamp of beauty, inside and out.
Harry shook the thoughts out of his head. Now was not the time to be checking Hermione out. He motioned slightly with his hand and let the gold bracelet and earring glint a bit in the sunlight. Hermione's eyes widened in realization.
When she and Neville got to the front they split ways, Neville to come stand next to Harry and Hermione to Ginny. As the rest of the wedding party made their way up front, Harry leaned backwards a little. Hermione did the same on the other side.
“Take them!” Harry hissed.
“Accio bracelet.” Hermione whispered, concentrating on using her own wandless magic. “Accio earring.”
The two pieces of jewelry landed in Hermione's palm. Harry only hoped that she would be able to transfigure them discreetly enough. Somehow he had to provide some kind of distraction so that Hermione could whip out her wand and turn them into wedding bands. He considered tipping Neville over a bit so that he would stumble. Not enough to hurt him, of course, but just enough to interrupt the ceremony even a little. It was Neville, after all, and desperate times called for desperate measures.
Just as he was working up the nerve, everyone stood to their feet and looked backwards. Luna was making her entrance! If they were going to do it, now was the time. He shot a desperate look to Hermione, who nodded slightly. He couldn't see much past Ginny, but he assumed Hermione had done it. As Luna walked down the aisle, looking breathtaking in her white bridal gown, Harry leaned back again and accioed the two wedding rings from behind Hermione's back. Neville saw and grinned, tugging Neil over slightly so that Harry could deposit the transfigured rings on the pillow.
They were home-free, just as Luna kissed her aging father on the cheek and took her place beside Ron. Harry and Hermione both breathed huge sighs of relief.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen.” Lupin said suddenly in a loud voice. “We are gathered here today…”
Harry stared, blinked, rubbed out his eyes, and looked again. Lupin's tongue was bright green.
Some of the guests gasped, some gaped, and some tried to look like they hadn't noticed that the minister's tongue looked like a ripe lettuce leaf. Mrs. Weasley looked about ready to have a coronary, but was calmed down a bit when Mr. Weasley placed a comforting hand on her knee. Ron and Luna merely stared, Ron with confusion and Luna with intense fascination.
Harry looked over at Hermione and found her glaring at him. Then it clicked. Earlier that morning when Hermione had run off to fix the flowers, Harry had tried to heal Lupin's burned tongue. Apparently he hadn't done such a bang-up job. He vaguely remembered being in a hurry to follow Hermione and find out why she was acting so weird, so he had half-heartedly cast the soothing spell. And now, somehow, Lupin's tongue was green.
At least he can talk. Harry mouthed. Hermione stifled a laugh and the ceremony continued without any further mishap. Lupin droned on with the traditional readings, green tongue occasionally making an appearance that gradually became unnoticeable. All was good.
That is, until little Neil suddenly leaped forward and crashed directly into the bride.
“Neil!” Angelina scolded from her seat.
“SNITCHES!” he cried gleefully, pointing up at the sky. Sure enough, two small golden snitches danced in the air. “Catch the snitch!!”
Harry and Neville shared horrified looks. They were the snitches they had released in frustration earlier. Harry couldn't help but glance at Hermione, who he could practically feel boring holes into his skull with her eyes. She knew he had something to do with it.
“I gotta catch the snitch!” Neil declared triumphantly and he scrambled onto Lupin's pulpit and tried to jump high enough to wrap his tiny fingers around one of the snitches.
“Look out!” Ginny cried.
Neil slipped and accidentally fell. Ron dove to catch his nephew, inadvertently knocking Luna to the ground in a heap. The bride seemed unfazed; however, her eyes sparkling in amusement as Ron struggled to keep his nephew still.
“Oh Neil, you're so brilliant! Marriage is a bit like a Quidditch game, isn't it? Clever grimkazzle!”
Hermione took a moment, as usual, to blink at Luna with a puzzled expression on her face. Ginny snickered.
“Fred, I could use a hand here!” Ron bellowed at the boy's father as Neil slipped free and chased the snitches, which began to flutter away further down the grounds.
Fred and George were practically in convulsions with laughter, and their mother looked about ready to faint. Harry went over to help the bride back to her feet and looked at Hermione, who now seemed to be concentrating in Neil's direction.
“Hermione, what are you - ?”
Suddenly the snitches stopped in mid air. Their tiny fluttering wings snapped together and they hurtled to the ground helplessly, where Neil scooped them up joyfully and scampered back to his place at the front of the ceremony as if he hadn't just caused a pandemonium in the middle of wedding vows. Harry grinned appreciatively at Hermione's show of wandless magic that day. She had never quite mastered it in their time at Hogwarts or even during the war, but she was getting much better now.
The guests and wedding party sat in silence and disbelief, looking at the little ring bearer for a good five minutes before Lupin finally cleared his throat.
“Ahem, well, uh…oh yes…” Lupin straightened his notes, trying to read through the muddy footprints Neil had left on them. He licked his thumb with his green tongue and turned a page. “Do you, Luna, take Ronald Weasley to be your lawfully wedding wife…”
Hermione's full attention was no longer focused on the wedding. Instead she had taken to glancing over at Harry. He was completely absorbed in the vows, watching Ron and Luna intently, almost longingly. She knew all that talk about not really thinking about marriage was a load of Snorkack. It was obvious by the way he was watching Ron and Luna exchange vows, he seemed almost jealous. He thought about love at least as much as she did. Hermione hoped with all her heart that someday Harry would find someone. Merlin knew, of all the people in the whole world, he definitely deserved it.
“You may now kiss the bride!”
Hermione snapped back to reality and realized she had spent the entire ceremony in a daydream. Lupin had already gone thorough his sermon, Ron and Luna were already wearing their rings and their vows had already been exchanged. Her cheeks colored slightly in embarrassment.
There was thunderous applause as Ron snogged Luna breathless in front of two hundred people. It was as if he had smuggled a pair of Volcano Lips to the altar. Flashbulbs went off, cheers grew louder, and George took that moment to release the patented Weasley Daylight Flash Rockets. They burst in the sky, spelling out in bright neon colors:
Congratulations to Loony and her Ickle Ronniekins!
Love, from Weasley Wizard Wheezes.
93 Diagon Alley, London, England.
Daylight Flash Rockets on Sale Now! Perfect for any occasion! See Fred or George at the reception for details.
In all the celebration, Hermione was able to sidle up next to Harry.
“Imagine that.” She sighed. “One of us is married.”
“Yeah.” Harry said. “Who would have thought it would be Ron first?”
Hermione looked at him. “Why wouldn't it have been Ron first?”
“I…I dunno. You're more in touch with feelings…and stuff. You were always more grown-up too.” Harry shrugged. “I figured it would be you first.”
“Oh…well, like I said, I haven't found the right guy.” Hermione said wistfully. “Weddings always make me feel like this, all...single. But one good thing about weddings, it's a good place to meet people.”
“Maybe you'll find someone. If not here, he'll come along some day.” Harry assured her, tentatively putting an arm around her shoulders. When she nuzzled closer to him, he relaxed. Ron scooped Luna up in his arms and carried her back down the aisle, the cheers not showing any signs of dying down. Even Mad-Eye seemed to be showing some emotion, one gloved hand rubbing at his good eye.
Yet all Harry could think about then was that he hoped the right guy would never come for Hermione. She'd come to Harry for comfort, and he'd always be there to give it.
- - - END CHAPTER 4 - - -
Note: Review please, and constructive criticism is very much wanted. I will lick it like it is ice cream :-D
Last (woo!) chapter coming up tomorrow! Or…or…or the day after **blushes**. I'm not happy with it yet! And I think maybe I will actually leave my house tomorrow, heheh. But we'll see… Definitely by mid-Saturday though.
HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!! :-D
NOTE: I think one line of this chapter is PG-13. It's nothing you couldn't find in a middle school science textbook though. I think. Heh.
- - -
“Oh, Merlin...”
Hermione stared at the cake Dobby had personally baked. It was resting on a table in the kitchens, in all its accidentally obscene glory. Harry's jaw dropped.
“It's…it's…”
“Wow.” Hermione said, trying with all the strength she could muster not to blush.
“It's a broomstick.” Dobby explained eagerly. “That's the long thing sticking up. These is bludgers here at the base. Those is two goal hoops holding up the next layer, they is having Quaffles in them you see. Big Quaffles, with little snitches on top. I is knowing there is three goal hoops so I put it right behind and I is putting the little Weezy and Miss Loony inside it.”
They stared together, speechless. The cake didn't quite look like what Dobby had just described. Somehow, they also figured Dobby didn't really realize what the cake actually looked like.
“What's that thing?” Harry pointed at a molded creature hanging on to what Dobby claimed was a bludger.
“A Krimple-Haired Snirckik.” Dobby said, beaming proudly as if he had just unveiled the Mona Lisa.
“Oh…”
“I isn't having time to put the icing on it, but - “
“Oh, don't worry about it!” Hermione yelped. “Harry and I will fix it!”
“Finish it.” Harry corrected her.
“That's right, finish.”
“Is you sure?”
“Oh yeah, don't worry about it.” Harry put a hand on the elf's shoulder. “We'll ice it and bring it out. You've worked hard all day on this, you deserve a break.”
“Oh, Harry Potter, I isn't - “
“Please, Dobby. You're a guest at this wedding too. Remember your invitation?” Hermione reminded him.
Dobby's eyes welled up with emotional tears. “Oh yes, I is remembering…such nice wizards….Dobby is never invited to a wedding before. Dobby is never invited to anything before. Dobby is never even getting mail!”
Hermione's eyes had gone wide and sad at Dobby's story. Harry knew he had to step in before he was drowning in a sea of tears and elf-rights.
“Well, you were invited to this wedding and it would dishonor Ron and Luna if you weren't there dancing and having a good time.” Harry said firmly.
“But - “
“Don't make me order you.” Harry smiled. “You know I hate to do that.”
“Oh, yes, H-Harry. I'll go to the reception. Thank you very much.” Dobby bowed low, his turban falling off his head. He picked it up and replaced it on his tiny head.
“Don't thank me, thank Ron and Luna. Tell them we'll be out there soon.” Harry patted their small friend on the back. Dobby nodded enthusiastically, nearly knocking his turban off again, and disapparated
“He's adorable.” Hermione said.
“Mmm-hmm. Do you not see the cake he just made?” Harry pointed at the vulgar monstrosity sitting on the table.
“He didn't know. How would he?”
Harry shivered. “I don't want to think about how he would know, Hermione.”
“Stop that! I'm sure we can do something with it…” Hermione said dubiously, biting her lip as she gazed at the various lumps of cake. It did smell rather good, and she had no doubt that it would taste fantastic. “We just need to make it look less like a…a…”
“Gargoyle humping a massive penis and a pair of breasts floating in midair?”
“Harry!” Hermione scolded.
“That's what it looks like! And don't even try to tell me that's not what you were thinking. I saw that look on your face!” Harry declared. When Hermione's face colored he grinned in satisfaction. He knew her too well.
“Well, you didn't need to be so crude about it.” Hermione insisted. “We've just got to…put frosting on it, for starters. At least add some color.”
“Yeah, Dobby had a good idea though. The Quidditch theme and the Snorkack. I think we could actually keep the third hoop with the little Ron and Luna, too.” Harry tentatively plucked the “broomstick” from the cake and set it aside. They would have to explain to Dobby why the cake looked so vastly different, but he figured he would leave that up to Hermione. Surely she already had something up her sleeve.
“It really was a good idea. Ron and Luna wouldn't have stood for a normal, boring wedding cake anyway. I can't believe wizards ever thought beings capable of this kind of critical thinking were inferior to - “
“Hermione, not the time. We've only got a few minutes to bring this cake out and it still looks like a - “
“All right, all right.” Hermione pulled out her wand. “Let's see what we can do.”
- - -
The Great Hall erupted in oohs and aahs as Harry wheeled out the wedding cake on the cart. With some quick magic and a little bit of Neville's artistic touch, they had not only fixed Dobby's unintentionally obscene cake, but added motion to the Snorkack and the little Ron and Luna figurines. Little Quidditch players and Snitches circled around the cake and around the sides of the base Hermione had written a message in Luna's favorite upside-down Quibbler runes.
Dobby ran over, his Arabian Knights pants swishing as he came. Harry looked over and Hermione and she looked over at him.
“Wait, did you think about what to tell Dobby?” Hermione asked.
“I thought you were going to disillusion him or something!”
“I thought you were!”
They cringed as Dobby looked over the cake that bore practically no resemblance to the on he had baked.
“Oh my goodness!” he cried.
“Dobby, um, dobby we can explain.” Hermione began hastily.
“I is a artist!” Dobby exclaimed. Harry and Hermione exchanged surprised glances.
“Yes, yes you are, Dobby.” Harry said cautiously, not quite sure what the house elf meant.
“I is not meaning to brag, Harry Potter and Miss Granger, but my cake looks very good!”
“It's marvelous!” Hermione agreed in relief.
Just then the crowd began to cluster around the cake cart, Ron and Luna practically having to push their way to their own cake.
“Bloody Hell, where'd you get a cake like this?!” Ron demanded in awe. “It's amazing!”
“Dobby made it.” Hermione said proudly. “A house elf.”
Harry nudged Hermione a bit. A wedding was not the best time for her to preach elf rights activism.
“It's beautiful!” Luna whispered, her head tilted to the side as far as it could go so that she could decipher the message. She didn't seem to care that her bridal headband and veil dropped to the floor and got stepped on by several people, and her golden locks fell loose from their meticulous styling. Hermione instantly regretted making the runes upside down.
“Oh, Hermione, that's beautiful!” Luna gushed. Hermione beamed and Harry looked at her in confusion.
“That says something? I just thought those were decorations!”
“What's it say?” Ron asked, tilting his own head.
“Read it yourself, Ronald, I'm sure you could figure it out!” Luna reprimanded her new husband.
Ron whimpered pathetically, but Luna stood firm. “Blimey, you've got to stop hanging around with Hermione!”
They all laughed as Colin and Dennis Creevey, armed with their state-of-the-art wizarding cameras, pushed through the group and demanded that wedding pictures be taken. They gathered the entire wedding party and stood them by the cake just as they had stood by the wedding arch during the ceremony. Hermione took her place beside Ginny, where she was suddenly very aware that she was only wearing one earring.
“Oh, Ginny, maybe you should stand profile.” Hermione suggested, hoping the urgency wasn't evident in her voice.
“Why?” Ginny asked, bringing her hands up. “Have I got something on my face?”
“Oh, no, it's just, well…”
“Symmetry!” Neville supplied unhelpfully.
Hermione and Ginny looked over at him, puzzled.
“What?”
“What?”
“Er, Harry's going to stand profile so you should too.” Neville said lamely.
Harry nodded. “I am.”
Ginny eyed her friends suspiciously. “Why are you going to - “
Luna finally lifted her head from its upside-down position and stared at Ginny's earring-less ear. Harry and Hermione gestured wildly for her not to say anything, but Luna either didn't notice or just assumed they were just doing some ritual photography dance.
“Did you know that Barbarus the pirate was defeated in the Mediterranean Sea today?” Luna asked. Harry and Hermione let their arms drop to their sides. Luna just kept catching them off guard, every time. “It's part of the reason I wanted the wedding to be today. Barbarus was an interesting character, raping and pillaging aside. I'm impressed that you knew. Most people don't. He's the first person to ever document seeing the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.”
Ginny stared at her friend. “What are you talking about - ?”
Ron stopped grinning adoringly at his wife and finally looked over at his sister. “Oy, Ginny, d'ya know you've only got one - “
“SAY CHEESE!” Harry cried, shoving the bride and groom in position. Hermione tugged Ginny to her place by Luna, keeping her in profile stance despite her confused protests.
- - -
After the food and cake had been served, Harry sat at his designated table occasionally chatting with another guest, but mostly remaining alone with his thoughts. Hermione had prompted him to come along with her and mingle, but Harry claimed he was tired. The rest of the reception had progressed without major incident, and for some reason Harry was disappointed. It meant that he and Hermione had reverted back to regular friend status and while she wasn't completely ignoring him, they hadn't been able to spend as much time together as he'd wanted. Not that their relationship had changed over the events of the day, it was just that he missed doing things together with Hermione. It was completely crazy, but it seemed like Ron and Luna's wedding practically falling apart actually brought the two of them closer than they had been before.
“Oy, Harry, guess what's next?”
Harry was shook out of his thoughts by Ron's hand on his shoulder.
“What?”
“She's going to toss the bouquet now!” Ron said gleefully.
“Oh, that's great.” Harry said slowly, wondering why Ron was so excited about Luna tossing flowers over her shoulder.
“You know what that means!”
Harry blinked owlishly at him, clearly not knowing at all.
“The reception's almost over! Me and Luna finally get some alone time, thank Merlin!” Ron whooped and made his way to the front of the Great Hall. “Come on, Harry!”
“I'll be there in a minute.” Harry frowned. The day was almost over.
Luna gathered up her long skirt and made her way to the center of the Great Hall, her large bouquet of roses clutched in her other hand.
“Ladies and Gentlemen - and Fred and George -" the twins barked loudly at Lee Jordan who, just like at Hogwarts, always found his way to a microphone. He was honorary deejay at the reception, and was doing a very good job, in Harry's opinion. “ - It's time for the bride to toss the bouquet! Will all the lovely single ladies make their way to the center there? Or taken ladies, feel free! I see you trying to sneak away there, Angelina Weasley! Haha! Atta girls…wow, looks like this wedding netted all the good birds. You're not having any second thoughts getting tied down over there, are you Ron?”
Ron laughed and offered Lee a single-fingered salute that luckily escaped the view of his mother. George, who was sitting on the table next to Harry's, jokingly held up his glass and tapped his fork against it. Soon, the entire Hall was clinking.
“Bloody hell.” Ron rolled his eyes and jogged over to his new wife, planting a nice big wet one just as he had the entire reception. Harry's ears perked up as he heard Hermione whistle from the other side of the Great Hall where she had been “mingling”.
Lee laughed. “The groom seems pretty happy where he's at there, eh? All right then, Luna, are you ready?”
Luna nodded, her big blue eyes wide and excited. “Everyone, just be careful of the nargles, all right? It's their mating season now, you know.” She shook out her bouquet a bit to make her point.
Harry sat back and placed his feet on the white tablecloth. They were tired from all the running around he had done that day. He had gotten quite a few offers for a dance from many ladies, but he had turned them all down, citing his tired feet. The truth was, his feet could have stood a good dance or two. Unfortunately, the only one he truly wanted to dance with was usually already out there, probably looking for that bloody “right guy”. Either that or she was chatting it up with someone. He sighed, placed one leg on top of the other.
“You're ruining the tablecloth.”
He spun around and found himself looking at Hermione.
“Why aren't you over there trying to catch the bouquet?” Harry asked, surprised. All of the other single women were there.
“Because it's a silly tradition.” Hermione said, taking her seat next to Harry. “And anyway, I'm not ready to get married. If I were to catch that bouquet, I'd be next and that would mean it would be a very long time before anyone was allowed to get married.”
Harry chuckled. “Well, have you found the right guy at this wedding?”
Hermione shrugged. “Maybe.”
Harry felt his breath catch. “Oh, that's really…nice.”
“I'm not so sure…”
“What do you mean?”
Roaring applause sounded throughout the Great Hall as Ginny clutched the tossed bouquet and leaned over it, to avoid the tackle of one of Luna's particularly catty cousins. When the commotion had died down, she straightened and held the bouquet high in the air. Another round of clapping ensued.
“Good for her.” Hermione clapped.
Neville stumbled out onto the floor and Ginny ran over to him. He engulfed her in a big hug and twirled her around. Harry and Hermione's eyes widened.
“Good for him.” Harry whistled. “Yeah, Neville! Who woulda thought?”
“I guess Ginny found the right guy at this wedding too.” Hermione smiled.
“Yeah.”
They sat back together in silence, watching Ron and Luna finish their final slow dance of the day. It was their last obligation to all their guests. After that, they would climb into their expertly refurbished Ford Anglia and fly off into the sunset to their honeymoon. Harry grinned to himself.
The wedding had been a complete disaster. Everything that could possibly go wrong actually did, and now he and Hermione were dead tired. But the fact that the day's true celebrants, Ron and Luna, came through with barely a scratch on them, made all their efforts worthwhile. It was all about them, after all, the stubborn redhead and the quirky dreamer. As long as they were happy, that's all that mattered. They never needed to know about how many times the happiest day of their lives nearly blew up in smoke. It warmed Harry to think that the smiles on their faces were partly thanks to all his and Hermione's hard work.
Ginny and Neville had worked hard too, though they had gone somewhere private, no doubt rewarding themselves for a hard day's work.
Harry looked over at Hermione, who seemed to be nervously pulling at a loose thread in the tablecloth. Unfortunately for Harry, it didn't seem like he would get such a reward for a job well done. He supposed Hermione would though, when the stupid bum “right guy” she had chosen actually got the balls to ask her to dance. This was the last dance, after all.
He clenched his fist. This guy was a loser. Passing up the last dance with a girl like Hermione? “Right guy” his worn-down, tired arse.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?”
“I know you must be real tired after, well, everything. But would you like to dance with me?” Hermione asked quietly. “Unless you're too tired, I mean. Averting crises isn't exactly a relaxing - “
“I'd love to!” Harry said eagerly. Hermione looked mildly surprised, so Harry amended his response. “I mean, yeah. It's the last dance and we haven't danced at all. Together.”
“Yeah.”
Harry got up and held out his hand. Hermione took it and they walked to the dance floor together, joining Ron, Luna and the other couples in the final dance. Hagrid and Madame Maxime swayed by them, Madame Maxime loudly commenting Hagrid on his beard. Hermione suppressed the flurry of giggles bubbling up. On their other side, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley held each other, Mr. Weasley whispering softly into his wife's ear. They both had broad smiles on their faces. Gina and Neil had taken to the dance floor as well; though not so much “slow dancing” as “fast and wild running around”.
Harry held her closer, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck. Together they moved back and forth in a noncomplex rhythm, Harry making a point to lead in the simplest steps so that he didn't mutilate Hermione's feet or look like some kind of fool.
“So what did the message on the cake say?” Harry asked. “I can't figure it out now, it's been devoured.”
Hermione laughed. “Best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Love from the Klamagi.”
“Oh.” Harry chuckled.
Awkward silence
“Crazy day, wasn't it?” Hermione said finally.
“Yeah, it was. But least we're in the clear now. What could possibly happen in the next fifteen minutes?”
“Shhh.” Hermione hushed him. “Don't jinx it.”
Harry laughed. “Since when do you believe in things like that?”
He felt her shrug in his arms. “Well I never used to believe a wedding could go this insane before either. I also never used to believe I would be in a war. I never used to believe in magic. I never used to believe - “
“You'd find the right guy.” Harry supplied. He felt her tense and he instantly regretted what he had said. It was just that he was getting desperate to know who her right guy was, and why the clown wasn't dancing with her.
“Well, yes…” Hermione said in a soft voice.
They fell silent and Harry realized he still didn't have the answer to the question. The song would end very soon and then the reception would be over, Ron and Luna would be gone, and the day would be finished. He somehow felt like there was a deadline to reach, and his time was almost up.
“Hermione, who is it?” Harry asked finally. “This guy, who is it? And why isn't he dancing with you right now? What kind of prat is he, anyway - “
“The kind of prat dancing with me right now.”
“ - Doesn't even appreciate what a great wom - what?” Harry suddenly stopped and his foot landed on top of Hermione's.
“Ow!”
“Sorry!”
They had stopped dancing and were looking at each other, looking as confused as ever.
“…Me?”
“I…I think…I mean, I don't know if you want - “
Harry didn't answer. He pulled her off the dance floor, past Gina and Neil's spunky rendition of the Macarena, and pressed his lips against hers.
Hermione's eyes remained open and wide. They darted back and forth in disbelief, her mind racing and refusing to accept the fact that her `right guy' was kissing her on the lips. She had never thought in her wildest dreams that Harry would share her feelings, that he would actually kiss her and weaken her knees, causing her to wrap her arms around him tightly, closer.
Is this seriously happening right now?
They broke away from each other, breathing hard.
“Do you…do you know now?” Harry asked hesitantly.
Hermione was speechless, completely incapable to produce any sort of noise. Unable to voice her answer, she placed a hand on each of his cheeks and pulled him down; returning the kiss with so much passion Harry could have sworn he saw sparks. The kiss grew deeper and Harry's hands traveled low on her waist, their repressed frustrations and feelings from their entire day releasing themselves in one explosive show of affection. They were so engrossed in each other that they barely even noticed the two young children at their feet.
“Woooo!!” Gina Weasley squealed.
“Yeeeeyyy!” Neil agreed, banging a silver spoon against a glass so hard it fell to the floor and shattered.
“Neil!” Hermione cried.
Neil, sensing potential trouble, scampered off with Gina at his tail, no doubt to report the findings of their meddling to their parents.
Hermione bent low and cast a clean-up spell on the broken glass. She got up to find Harry smiling at her. Still not knowing the words powerful enough to express what she wanted to Harry, she said nothing. A first for the witch with the largest working vocabulary in Britain.
However, there were no words needed as Harry wrapped an arm around her waist.
“We missed the end of the last dance.” Harry managed to say through the large grin on his face.
“I don't care that much.” Hermione said honestly.
“Me neither. It wasn't our last dance.”
“Definitely.” Hermione laughed. “Far from it.”
The song ended abruptly, and everyone made a final round of applause for Ron and Luna. Harry and Hermione were nearly torn apart in the coming stampede, when all the guests came pouring and pushing past them to the doors where Ron was headed. Ron turned back and spotted his two best friends in the crowd, winking mischievously at them. Instead of joining her new husband, Luna wove her way through the crowd towards Harry and Hermione.
“I want to thank you.” Luna said. “For everything you've done.”
“Thank us for what?” Harry asked nervously. “We haven't done anything.”
“Harry's right, we didn't do anything at all.” Hermione agreed.
Luna looked them over, not a hint of suspicion in her clear blue eyes. Instead of arguing otherwise, although it was plainly obvious that the two of them were lying through their teeth, her face cracked into a wide smile.
“The Klamagi do exist, Hermione. I've always believed it before, but I've never seen proof of it in real life until today.” Luna engulfed the two of them in a tight, warm hug and released them, making her way to her husband. “We couldn't have asked for a better pair.”
She made her way to Ron, laughing as he waggled his eyebrows from the doorway and tossed something to Harry, which he caught in his hands. It was something round wrapped in napkin.
The groom made his final wave goodbye and lifted his beautiful bride, carrying her out to the Ford Anglia that was waiting patiently outside on the Hogwarts grounds.
“How'd she know?” Hermione wondered. “No one could have told her everything that went wrong…”
Harry tore open the package. Inside were a simple gold bracelet and a hoop earring.
“Ohh…”
Harry shook out the napkin and the rest of its contents fell into his palm. A package of Volcano Lips. He laughed and discreetly pocketed it for later. Hermione took the napkin. Written in Ron's messy scribble was a note:
Don't think we didn't see you there during the last dance. Best of luck to the two of you. - Ron and Luna Weasley
P.S. My wife was right. Klamagi do exist. Thanks, you guys.
P.P.S. We'll be sure to owl you when we find the Snorkack. For all we know she's right about that too.
Hermione rested her head on Harry's shoulder comfortably.
“Did they have to be turtle people though?”
Harry laughed and hugged her, steering her to a chair and allowing his “right girl” to sit in his lap.
Suddenly they heard silverware clatter loudly on the floor. Ginny had been staring at her reflection in the clean spoons.
“What the - I've only got one earring on! I've been walking around like a bloody pirate!”
“What happened to the roses? Why are they carnations?!”
“BLOODY HELL, MY TONGUE IS GREEN!”
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, alarmed.
“Time to go home?”
“Oh yes, I think so!”
- - -THE END- - -
Well. That was an effective way to completely ignore all my homework due Monday. It's been a good Spring Break :-D I hope you liked my story. Please review and all that.
`KAY I GOTS A TERM PAPER TO SCRIBBLEY NOW BYYE
woe…
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