Sodding Bloke

x0xJames_Potter

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 17/03/2006
Last Updated: 18/03/2006
Status: in_progress

James is a sodding bloke, according to Lily.

Chapters

1. Year One

2. Year Two

1. Year One

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is JKR's.

A/N: There are going to be seven chapters in the story, one for each year that James and Lily were at Hogwarts. Each chapter is just a little memory from each year. xD Has no point to it whatsoever.

A huge thank you to Brittney for beta-ing for me. xD And it’s James ALL the way.

Thanks to Dee for doing the “Hagrid” talk for me. <333

Oh, and the more reviews I get, the faster I’ll update. Surprising? =o

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Year one;;

“Did you pack your socks?”

“Yes mum.”

“Your wand?”

“Yes mum.”

“Your undergarments?”

“Yes mum.”

“The clean ones?”

“Mum!”

“I’m sorry honey. It’s just that I’m not used to having you pack for yourself.”

“Leave the boy alone, Miriam. He’s eleven for Merlin’s sake. I’m sure he packed properly.”

“Thanks Dad.”

“You did pack clean boxers though, didn’t you?”

“DAD!”

“Alright, alright. Look, here we are.”

“Honestly Harold, you let the boy get away with murder.”

“He’s not harming anyone by packing his own clothes, dear.”

“Oh really, Harold. You know what I mean. Don’t be smart with me, or you’ll be sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“I’m sorry, dear.”

“Look, there’s the barrier!”

“And so it is, James! Let’s go, shall we?”

“Make sure there aren’t any muggles watching.”

“Of course, Mum.”

The three, mother, father and son proceeded towards the barrier that separated them from Platform 9 and ¾. Gazing around carefully to make sure that the muggles were ignorant, they quickly slipped through the brick walls.

“Be sure to write honey.” Miriam said, hugging her son. Her eyes brimmed with tears and she kissed him hurriedly. Harold grinned as she sighed and leaned against her husband.

“They grow up so fast. Do you remember our first year, dear?”

James rolled his eyes. “Here they go again,” he thought, a smile tugging on his mouth.

The mother continued, “Remember our first train ride. I was so terrified. I thought I’d make no friends.”

“And when we ran into each other in the corridor, I told you to watch where you were going.” Harold replied.

“And I was so nervous, all I could do was stare at you.”

The boy stood impatiently as his parents remembered old times when they were his age.

“That was quite a train ride. And remember in third year, you hexed my hair so it would lie flat, and it got even more messier. You were so horrified because you had never failed in a spell before.”

Miriam laughed. “And in fifth year, when we were made prefects, we were doing our rounds and you kissed me for the first time.” Harold opened his mouth to reply but James broke in.

“MOM! Please, not here!” His eyes were wide. “We’re in public!” Mr. Potter laughed. “Alright son.” He turned to his wife. “I think we’re embarrassing the boy, Miriam.” His eyes twinkled. “Is that right James?”

James turned a light red. His name, James Harold Potter. He was an average sized kid, with ebony black hair that stuck out in the back, no matter what spell or charm was tried on it. Big hazel eyes were hidden behind a pair of spectacles that had a tendency of falling to the bridge of his nose.

He was dressed in his robes already since his mum had insisted on taking a picture of him in his robes before they left home. James nodded slowly. “Well, people are listening here, dad.” He said as if that explained everything.

His dad laughed. “Well then, I guess we better be going, dear.”

Mrs. Potter was fussing with James’ hair again. “I want you to send me an owl right after you get sorted. And just write if you need anything.”

The boy and his parents exchanged a few more farewells and James hurriedly made his way towards the train. The boy was excited, yes, but not nervous. He boarded the train, his trunk already having been placed on the train. Looking around for a compartment, he came to one in the middle of the train, with only one occupant. Might as well. He gingerly pulled open the door, and took a seat.

“Hi, I’m James.” He offered his hand to the nervous looking, red headed girl sitting across from him.

She smiled shyly as she shook his hand. “I know, I’m Lily Evans.”

Evans. That wasn’t a wizarding name. James knew well enough. He’d been learning the names of all the pureblooded families since he could talk. A pureblood responsibility. “What do you mean, you know? I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“We haven’t.” Lily confirmed. “But I saw your parents saying goodbye to you. It was sort of hard to miss.”

James grinned sheepishly. “Are you muggleborn?”

“What?” Lily murmured absently. She was staring in fascination at a pet owl that had gotten away from its owner and was flying about on the Platform.

“Muggleborn. It means…”

“Someone with non-magical parents.” Lily finished. “Yes, I am muggleborn.”

James looked surprised. “Then how did you know what it meant?”

“I bought a few extra books at Flourish and Botts when I was getting my school supplies. Magic really is quite intriguing. Have you read Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? It’s an amazing book. I would never have imagined that dragons were real. I find it very surprising that the Ministry of Magic has been able to keep them hidden for so long.” She paused here as if expecting him to reply.

Fortunately for James, who’d lost Lily after few extra books, the door slid open again. A boy dressed in expensive black robes stepped in. “Mind if I sit here? Just because I’m a first year, everyone’s being an arse to me.”

At Lily’s slight gasp, he grinned, stepping in and sitting down next to James. “What? Did I say a bad word?” She shook her head, staring at him.

“I’m Sirius Black.” The newcomer announced. “Who are you?” His gaze fell on James.

“James Potter.” James was wary. A Black?

“I’m Lily Evans.”

Sirius turned to look at her. “Are you muggleborn?” She nodded.

“What house do you think you’re going to be in?” James asked.

“Slytherin.” Sirius immediately said. “My whole bloody family ends up there.”

“I’m going to be in Gryffindor. No doubt about it.” James bragged.

Lily was quiet. “What do you mean, houses?”

James was astonished. “You mean you don’t know? Didn’t one of your books tell you?”

Lily shook her head. “I haven’t gotten around to reading Hogwarts: A History yet. So, what houses are you talking about?”

“You see,” Sirius said, leaning forward to explain, “Hogwarts is split into four houses. They are Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.”

“And,” James continued, “You don’t want to end up in Slytherin.” He glanced towards Sirius. “No offence.”

Sirius shook his head. “None taken. I know it isn’t exactly the best house to end up in.”

“Why not?” Lily asked.

“Because Slytherin is a house for the cunning and sly. Almost everyone that ends up in Slytherin turns into a dark wizard.”

“You also might want to avoid Hufflepuff.” Sirius added. “My cousin Bellatrix told me that it’s full of air-heads and bimbos.”

“Ravenclaw isn’t that bad. It’s the house for the exceptionally intelligent students.” James continued.

“And the last house is Gryffindor.”

“Gryffindor is the house for the brave. Most students probably want to end up there.”

“So I should either be in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor?” Lily asked, uncertainly.

“Yes.” James grinned.

“Answer my question. What takes you more time to do, eat your breakfast, or do your hair in the morning?”

“Eat my breakfast.” Lily replied immediately.

“Then you have a good chance of not ending up in Hufflepuff.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Sirius.”

The three talked for several more minutes, before Sirius got up to go and change. They were almost at Hogwarts. Lily had already changed into her uniform. The castle came into sight before Sirius came back. “Wow.” Lily whispered.

“I know, amazing, isn’t it?” James said. He’d been there before with his dad when he’d gone to visit the headmaster, Dumbledore.

“How do we get across?” She asked, referring to the lake.

James smirked, an idea occurring to him. “You have to swim, of course. Did you know? It’s to test if you’re good enough to attend Hogwarts. It is the best wizarding school in Europe.”

Lily looked petrified. “Swim?”

James nodded, his eyes dancing with mischief. “I’ve heard that a giant squid lives in there too.”

“Squid?” Now Lily looked like she was going to be sick.

Sirius entered then. He was done changing. “What’s the matter? You look sick.” He asked Lily.

Lily shook her head. “Nothing.” She took a deep breath. “I can do it. I’ll swim across the lake.”

“Why would you…” He broke off, and James gestured wildly to him from behind Lily. “Oh… swimming across the lake. Yes, it ought to be fun, don’t you think?”

-x-

James, Sirius and Lily walked together in a group, behind the giant gamekeeper. “Is he going to swim too?” Lily whispered. If that giant man was swimming, he might at least be able to save her if she happened to start drowning.

“No.” James said, squashing that hope.

As they neared the lake, Lily felt tears start sliding down her cheeks. How was she going to do this? Before Sirius and James knew what had happened, she had started crying quietly.

Hagrid heard her soft sobs, since he was walking right in front of them. He turned around, stopping all the first years, lantern swinging in his hand. He questioned Lily about what was wrong, as everyone looked on.

“W-we have t-to sw-wim and I d-don’t know h-how to!” She hiccupped. “And t-t-there’s the giant s-squid and I-I’m scared!”

“Why, we do't 'ave to swim 'cross the lake! Oo's been feedin' you tales?” Hagrid exclaimed.

As she heard this, Lily wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes. “No one.” She mumbled. Hagrid smiled at her, as he took her head.

Later, when James was getting into a boat, Lily fervently wished that he’d fall in the lake.

Sodding bloke.

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A/N: So, what did you think? Good? Bad? Meh?

2. Year Two

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is JKR's.

A/N: Yesum, since I like updated two hours later or something, I won't be able to update until Monday, which is two days. (I think.) -am extremely dumb-

This one is mostly dialogue between James and Lily, and will show you how annoying a twelve year James can be.

And I want MORE reviews! Demanding, aren't I? xD

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Year two;;

“Potter! Fix this at once!”

“What do you mean, Evans?”

“You know exactly what I mean!”

“No I don't, and unless you plan on telling me soon, we're just wasting time.”

My hair! It's blue! I know you did it. You've been snickering at me ever since this morning!”

“Alright, so I did it. What are you going to do? It looks better this way anyhow.”

“Why you…”

“Evans, are you crying?”

“I am not crying, you bloody git. Leave me alone!”

“You are crying! You're such a girl.”

“I'm more of a girl than you are a guy.”

“Are you insulting me Evans? That was pathetic.”

“Leave me alone Potter, before I hex you.”

“Oh, Red's threatening me now?”

“What did you call me?”

“Red. That is the colour of your hair, isn't it?”

“So? I don't call you Black, do I?”

“No, that's Sirius' name.”

“Can you just leave me alone?”

“Say please.”

“I am not saying please to you.”

“Well, then I won't leave you alone.”

“Do you like annoying people?”

“Am I annoying you?”

“Yes!”

“Well then, Evans, I guess I do.”

“Go to hell, Potter.”

“Nah, I much prefer heaven, thanks.”

“Why can't you leave me alone?”

“You didn't say please.”

“Since when do you care about manners? It's not like you have any.”

“I happen to think I'm very well mannered.”

“Ha! You and well mannered? Apparently you're not thinking straight right now.”

“On the contrary, I'm thinking just fine. It's you that's crying like a girl.”

“I am a girl, for Merlin's sake! And I am not crying!”

“Yes you are, Red.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Well, you stop crying first.”

“For the last time, Potter, I am not crying!”

“Okay, now you're not, but you were before.”

“Oh, for Pete's sake!”

“Who's Pete?”

“Never mind.”

Lily turned away from James, picking up the quill she had dropped as soon as she had spotted her hair earlier. “I'm doing my work, go away.”

“You're still doing that, Red?”

“Can you stop calling me that?” She paused. “Please?”

There was something in her tone of voice that made James ask. “Why don't you like the nickname, Lily?”

Lily sighed. Gazing around the common room, she supposed it was okay to talk to James. There wasn't anyone in there that could see them.

“Because, when I used to go to a muggle school, everyone called me that because of my hair. It's really mean.”

“Then why didn't you tell me to stop calling you that?”

“I did, you bloody git.”

“Can I call you Carrot?”

“No! There's nothing wrong with saying my name, you know. Regular people say it.”

“Oh, but it's more fun to irritate you.”

“Well, you're doing a darned good job of it.”

“What was that?”

“Bugger off, Potter.”

“Why do you call me Potter?”

“Why do you call me Evans?”

“I dunno.”

“Well, I don't know then either.”

Lily had turned back to her essay, and was just dipping her quill in the ink bottle, when James snatched up the piece of parchment, and ran towards the boys' dormitory stairs.

“Ha! Come and get me, Evans!”

“James Potter! You are the most… agh! Give me my essay back!”

“Come and get it Evans!”

Lily was mad. And when she was mad, she wasn't a pretty person to deal with.

“There's one thing you're forgetting, Potter. I have my wand with me, and you don't.”

“So, I can dodge the spells or jinxes you throw at me.”

“It's not as easy as it sounds, Potter.”

“I bet it'll be sort of like Quidditch, and dodging Bludgers.”

“Quidditch is an awful game.”

“You only think that because you don't understand it.”

“Of course I understand it.”

“Whatever you say, Evans.” By this time, James had reached the top of the stairs. He dangled the essay between his fingers.

“You can't catch me!”

Lily was felling a bit desperate. He wouldn't read it, would he?

As if James could read her mind, his eyes moved towards the parchment. His silently mouthed the words to himself.

“You like Remus?”

Lily blushed crimson, a colour to rival her hair.

“No, I don't.” She mumbled, lowering her wand slightly.

James was grinning gleefully.

“Lily and Remus, sitting in a tree. S-N-O-G-I-N-G.”

“Snogging has two “Gs” in it.”

“What?”

“It's supposed to be S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G.”

“But then it doesn't rhyme as well.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Potter - James,” she bit her lip, “Promise you won't tell anyone, especially Remus.”

James grinned. “What's in it for me?”

“Can't you just be nice?”

“No, it's very hard. So?”

Lily glared at him. “I'll do all your Charms essays for two months.”

James gazed thoughtfully at her. “Well, that's an awfully big secret to keep for only two months worth of essays.”

“Fine. Four months.” Lily replied through gritted teeth. Oh, how she wished she could strangle him.

James smirked. “Deal.”

Lily stuck her hand out, about to ask him to shake on it, when James unexpectedly turned and ran towards the portrait hole.

“Ha, wait until I tell Remus!”

“Accio Parchment!”

The parchment flew out of James' hand and to Lily's. The second year quickly ran towards the girls' stairs.

“You don't really think I can't catch you, do you Evans?” James questioned, grinning at her.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Haven't you read Hogwarts: A History?”

James snorted. “No.”

Lily smirked. “Alright then. Come and get me James.”

James ran towards the stairs, and was on the second one, when they turned into a slide.

He looked stunned to find himself on the ground.

“Need some help, Potter?”

“No thanks, Evans.”

“Now how are you going to get me?”

“What happened?”

“The stairs don't like you.”

“Don't try to be funny. Doesn't suit you, Evans.”

“Oh, and I suppose it suits you?”

“Of course it does. I'm a funny bloke.”

“If you're talking about your looks, then you're definitely funny looking.”

“There's nothing funny looking about me!”

“Then what is with your hair? Is it naturally like that?”

“Yes!” James consciously ran a hand through his hair.

Lily shook her head, and turned away from him. The last thing she saw before disappearing through her dormitory door was James trying to climb the stairs again.

Sodding bloke.

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A/N: So, what do you think?

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