Interruptions by Emmablk1

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 16/04/2006
Last Updated: 04/06/2007
Status: In Progress

These are the REAL notes between all four marauders! If you've ever wondered what they do in
class, this is your answer. Speacial appearance by Lily Evans. And later, one by Harry, Ron,
Hermione, and Ginny. Enjoy!




1. Part One
-----------

**Interruptions Written By: Emmablk1** This is just scary; I am able to have all four
of the Marauders stuck in my mind. It's not very plesant sometimes...
You people better like this; I just spent half an hour fixing it to put it on fanfiction.net and
astronomytower.org. READ AND REVIEW OR YOU WILL DIE B/C I AM IN A BAD MOOD B/C IT'S SO
LATE!!

**Sirius:** The day started out innocently enough. James and I played a few jokes on the
Sytherins at breakfast, Peter's cauldron blew up in potions (Again!), and we were anticipating
the full moon in a couple of weeks. How was I to know that this would be the most important day of
my life?

**James:** O.K, hold on.

**Sirius:** What? I'm telling the story right!

**James:** It was the most important day of my life too!

**Remus:** James, why do you always do this?

**James:** Do what?

**Remus:** Interrupt when Sirius is trying to tell the story.

**Sirius:** Thank you, Moony.

**Peter:** Hey! I was involved in it too!

**Sirius:** O.K! We can all tell the story!

**James:** Shhh! McGonagall's looking this way!

**Sirius:** Can I tell it now?

**Peter:** Only if we all get to tell a chapter.

**Remus:** Yeah! After all, it was the most important day of all of our lives.

**Sirius:** What are you talking about? You weren't even there; you were in the hospital
wing!

**Remus:** I have my own little secrets.

**Sirius:** What? Oh, you mean...

**Remus:** Don't even think about it, Padfoot!

**Sirius:** Phooy.

**Peter:** Who's telling the first part?

**Remus:** What happened first?

**Sirius:** If you please, I believe I was telling the story.

**James:** But...

**Sirius:** No more interruptions!

**Remus:** I believe that I should be the one to tell it first.

**James:** Hey!

**Sirius:** No, wait! His story's more interesting, believe me!

**James:** Oh! I've got to hear this!

**Remus:** Sirius, whatever your sick mind is thinking, I'm not telling that story!

**Sirius:** Nooo! Oh well, I can always tell it later...

**James:** Yes!! Count me in!

**Remus:** Sigh Anyway...

Sirius was right; it was the most important day. But, as usual, he got some as the facts
wrong.

**Sirius:** Hey!

**James:** Shh!

**Remus:** Thank you. The full moon was in a couple of days, not weeks. I was in the hospital
wing, (of course) and was bouncing off the walls, jumping on the bed...

**Sirius:** Ah...now doesn't it feel good to get that off your chest?

**James:** Shut it! I want to hear the good part!

**Peter:** Me too!

**Remus:** Ahem. So...when this girl walks in. Beautiful red hair-

**James:** Hey!

**Remus:** Its ok, James. It wasn't Lily.

**James:** Just checking.

**Remus:** I stopped jumping and squatted on the bed. Her hair had me captivated. My eyes
started following her automatically.

**Peter:** Oh no! You didn't...or anything?

**Remus:** No! I didn't bite her.

**Sirius:** Good, 'cause then we would have to let another girl into our group and you know
how messy those orientations can be.

**James:** Yeah, Lily is still hurting from that.

**Sirius:** Sorry! We didn't mean to be so hard on her!

**Remus:** Guys!

**James:** ....

**Sirius:** ....

**Remus:** It took her a while to notice that someone was watching her. After that she started
to get uncomfortable. She had her hand healed and quickly tried to get out. I was too quick. I was
in front of her before she reached the door.
"What do you want?" she asked me, looking kind of scared.
"Hi! I'm Remus Lupin and I just wanted to talk to you. Did you ever notice how your hair
shines in the wind? It's a really nice day today. Do you have a boyfriend? Neither do I. Have a
boyfriend, I mean. That's a good thing. I don't have a girlfriend, either. How come your
hand needed healing? Were you in DATDA? That's stands for Defense Against the Dark Arts, by the
way. Not that you didn't already know that, or anything... " As I rambled on for at least
another five minutes she became flustered and muttered something about going to Herbology.

**James:** Ok, imagine whatever Moony just said-

**Sirius:** Going ten times faster than the slug pace at which he wrote it.

**Remus:** Very funny.

**Peter:** So, what happened next?

**Remus:** Uh...the full moon came and went.

**Sirius:** With many Marauder adventures along the way.

**James:** Oh yeah! Sirius, do you remember that one prank we pulled that caused the dungeons to
cave in...?

**Sirius:** That was classic! I'll always remember how Malfoy and Snape's face looked
when they saw the Slytherin common room.

**Remus:** Uh...guys...this is my story.

**Sirius:** Sorry.

**James:** Sorry.

**Remus:** It was a few days before I finally saw her again. It was embarrassing to think about
what I did, and meeting her again wasn't high on my list of things to do.

**Peter:** So, you saw her in the corridor and...

**Remus:** Actually, she came up to me. I was in the library. Alone, of course; I'm sure
that none of the other marauders would even know where the library is.

**James:** What does that have to do with the story?

**Remus:** Nothing; I'm just making fun of Sirius.

**Sirius:** Huh?

**Remus:** "Well, I'm glad to see that you aren't hyper anymore." She sat down
beside me at a table stacked full of books.
"Yeah...that's why I was...hospital wing...hyper, yeah." I stuttered. She smiled and
raised an eyebrow.

**Sirius:** Heh, heh. Remus Lupin; Lady Killer.

**Remus:** "Wow. You've changed; now you can't string two sentences together!"
she laughed and earned the disapproval of Madame Prince, the Librarian. We lowered our voices so
that we wouldn't get kicked out.
"No, I can," I said, trying hard not to look at her. She was really making my head twirl.
"I just don't feel that well right now." Maybe if I didn't look up, then her face
wouldn't swarm before my eyes and I wouldn't pass out.
She looked concerned. "You do look a little pale," she gazed at my face. I felt a blush
creep up onto my cheeks. Then she took a look at the books on the table. "What are you
reading?" I showed the cover of the one I had lying open. "Oh my gosh! I love that
book!"
"Really?" she nodded and started to read with me. "What's your name?" I
asked after a few minutes of silent reading.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! I must seem like a total ditz! I mean, sitting here with you and
reading for almost an hour, and not even telling you my name...I'm Virginia." I opened my
mouth to tell her my name, but she stopped me. "I know who you are. Remus Lupin, right?
You're a part of the infamous marauders." I smiled and nodded. "I like your
smile." She said, suddenly blushing. She quickly grabbed a book off of the big stack and
started reading it very fast.
"Um...your book's upside down," I said. Her blush deepened and she turned it back
over. "and I don't think you're a ditz...You're too pretty." We both turned
scarlet at this comment.

**Peter:** Awwww!

**Sirius:** That's so sweet! Not really.

**Peter:** Sirius!

**James:** Remus, if it took you that long to start a relationship, do you really think it's
going to last?

**Sirius:** I wonder how long it will take them to start turning purple instead of just plain
old red.

**Remus:** Shut up, you guys. That was a really important day for me. That was the day I met
Virginia.

**Sirius:** Can I tell my story now?

**Remus:** I think its Prong's turn.

**Peter:** Yeah! Whatever happened between you and Lily?

**James:** Heh, heh. Well, I'll tell you...

**Sirius:** Ah, why don't I get to go?

**Remus:** We're not letting you go because you want to.

**James:** Haven't you figured that out by now?

**Sirius:** Grrr...

**James:** Ouch!

**Sirius:** Prongs! That was unnecessary!

**Remus:** C'mon! Get on with the story!

**Peter:** Yeah! I could be doing other...things.

**Remus:** Huh?

**Peter:** Nothing.

**James:** Ok, I'm ready. So, since Moony was in the hospital, we sort of separated for each
his own way.

**Sirius:** Oh, yeah.

**James:** Boy, what a memory you have! Anyway, I decided to do something special for
Lily.

**Remus:** Sweet!

**Sirius:** My story's better!

**James:** We'll get to it! So, I sorta kidnapped her from Gryffindor tower. You know, put a
blindfold on her and lead her somewhere...

**Sirius:** Prongs! Naughty, naughty!

**James:** No! That's not what I meant!

**Remus:** I think you should slap him again.

**Sirius:** Ouch!

**Remus:** Padfoot! You're going to get us all into trouble!

**James:** Yeah! Binns is watching!

**Sirius:** Man, he looks like he's going to die at any moment!

**James:** Continuing...Lily was really excited, but a bit annoyed because I took her away from
her "study group."

**Sirius:** Study? Please! All they do is giggle and talk about me.

**Peter:** How do they manage to get all their homework done, anyway?

**Remus:** Sirius, how do you know all they do is talk about you?

Sirius: Can't a guy eavesdrop?

**James:** Hey! They talk about me too!

**Sirius:** You mean Lily talks about you. The rest them are dedicated to me.

**Remus:** So humble, Padfoot.

**Sirius:** I know. Hey, Prongs, aren't you supposed to be telling some sort of story?

**James:** Oh, yeah!

**Sirius:** Boy! What a memory!

**James:** Hey! Don't steal my comebacks!

**Remus:** Guys! Guys!

**James:** But he-

**Sirius:** He started it-

**Remus:** I don't care! Prongs! Tell your story!

**Peter:** Way to go to be a peacemaker, Moony!

**James:** Ok! I'll just have to save what I have for Padfoot for later.

**Sirius:** What're you gonna do to me?

**James:** Wouldn't you like to know! So, I blindfolded Lily and started to take her to the
fifth floor. Room of Requirement, you know.

**Sirius:** Yes, we know, James.

**James:** Don't test my patience! Well, anyway, when we got inside the room everything was
just how I wanted it. I took Lily's blindfold off. She looked around the room, her face
glowing. Then I saw her face fall, replaced by a frown. She hadn't even noticed the table with
a tiny black box on it.
"What are you playing at?" she said, narrowing her eyes at me dangerously. I moved over
to the table, feeling her eyes on me while I was walking.
"What do you mean?" I stared hard at the table, not daring to look into her eyes. I knew
that they would be a raging green fire.
"You just decided to kidnap me from Gryffindor tower and take me to a room with no point,
totally ignoring the fact that I was deep into my study group?"
"Study group? What do you do, study all the ways that Sirius can make you swoon?"

**Sirius:** Prongs! You didn't!

**James:** It slipped out! You know I can't control my mouth!

**Remus:** Yes, we know that very well, James.

**James:** "JAMES CHRISTOPHER POTTER!" I winced at the middle name. "WHAT did you
just say?!" "Gulp! That you're a very lovely person who would never, ever get mad at
her loving boyfriend, who was just trying to surprise her by asking her to marry him?"
"James, your flattery isn't-" she stopped as the rest of my words hit her. "What
did you just say?" "You're a very lovely person?" I asked, confused.
"No," "Um...you would never get mad at your loving boyfriend?" "No! The
part after that!" "Oh! I'm just trying to ask you to marry me?" "You
are?" she raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I am? I mean, yes, I am!" Quickly I
grabbed the little black box off the table and threw it at her. She caught it and opened it
reluctantly.

**Peter:** What was inside?

**Sirius:** Well, let's see...he's asking her to marry him...they're in a
secluded place...he loves her...hopefully she loves him...

**James:** Hey! I know she loves me! It's so obvious.

**Sirius:** Riiiiight. coughnotreallycough

**James:** Hey!

**Sirius:** I would think that there would be some sort of ring inside, right?

**Peter:** A mood ring?

**Sirius:** Sure, why not?

**Remus:** Hey, James, was he dropped on the head as a baby?

**James:** I don't know, check for scar wounds.

**Peter:** Hey! Get away from my hair!

**James:** Just be glad that you're not as obsessed with your hair as Sirius is.

**Sirius:** Very Funny.

**James:** I thought so. Anyway, on with my brilliant, exceptional, inspired, and any other
synonym that fits with those words, story.

**Lily:** Gee, got a blotted head much? You know, this is one reason why at first I wouldn't
go out with you.

**Sirius:** Lily! How are you my darling?

**Lily:** Hey, Sirius. And don't call me darling. Only James can do that.

**Peter:** Awwww! How sweet!

**James:** Umm, you know what; I don't think that I want to finish the story after
all.

**Lily:** Why? What were you saying that had to stop whenever I came into the little circle of
friends here? And by the way, you're not going to get away with writing during potions. You
barley got away with it during charms.

**James:** We did too! And it's nothing! Sirius you can start to tell your story now.

**Sirius:** Yea!

**Lily:** Hold on!

**Sirius:** No!

**Lily:** You wouldn't have been happening to tell the story about when you first asked me
to marry you, would you?

**James:** Umm, no?

**Sirius:** First? You know, this might be really interesting. I wonder why you've stopped
telling the story, Prongs.

**Remus:** That might be because the answer might not be what he wanted it to be.

**Sirius:** Hmm...

**Peter:** Hmm...

**Lily:** Well, that's part of it...

**James:** Lily!!

**Lily:** What? You know, if you won't tell the rest, then I will.

**James:** No!

**Lily:** So, where was he?

**Remus:** Well, you had just opened the box.

**Lily:** Oh yeah. Just between you and me that rock didn't look very real, either.

**Sirius:** No! James how could you?

**James:** Just like a woman.

**Lily:** James!

**James:** Ouch!

**Lily:** That's it, I'm not talking anymore.

**James:** Finally! It took you long enough; I'll get to tell the story now!
**Lily:** Let me rephrase that. I'm not talking to *you* anymore.

**James:** Same diff.

**Lily:** Grrr!

**Sirius:** Alright! Lover's spat! These are fun to watch. Who wants to start the betting on
who starts to bleed first?

**Remus:** James, will you please just tell the story and beg for Lily's forgiveness
later?

**Lily:** Fine! See if I care!

**James:** Lily...

**Remus:** Just tell the story!!

**James:** She opened the box and took a glance inside. Not a very long glance, as she snapped
the lid shut rather quickly.
"Did you even look at the rin...what's inside?" I stopped myself before I told her
the inside of the box. Lily turned her head away from me and looked as if she was about to cry, but
was holding it back.
"I already know what's inside, thank you very much." She said coldly. I was taken
aback. Is this how girls were supposed to act when accepting marriage proposals? I didn't think
so.

**Lily:** I'll have you know that I had a very good reason to be mad.

**Peter:** And what was that?

**Lily:** Just listen and you'll find out.

**James:** "James," she looked up at me and I saw tears forming in her eyes. "I
really wish that you hadn't asked me now."
"Why?" I started toward her, but she backed away farther from me. "What
happened?"
"I can't marry you." A tear fell down her check.
"WHYEVER NOT?!" she flinched and dropped the box on the floor. "I
mean...Lily..." she swiftly turned away and ran out the door into the corridor. By the time I
rushed to the door and looked for her, she had completely disappeared.

**Remus:** I'm confused. How come if Lily rejected your proposal, you two are still madly in
love and are engaged to be married?

**Lily:** Remember I said that this was the first time that he asked me?

**Sirius:** No! You had to ask her twice? That's hilarious!

**Lily:** Actually it was three times.

**Sirius:** I think my guts might fall out from laughing so hard.

**James:** Grrr!

**Sirius:** Now, James, think about it before you- OUCH!!

**James:** That's better.

**Peter:** Guys, this is a highly emotional scene and you are making fun of it.

**Sirius:** Well, you've got to admit it is really funny.

**Remus:** Duh!

**Lily:** James, I think that it is time for me to tell the story, as all you did was go
sulk.

**James:** Ok, but don't you dare reveal any other embarrassing secrets!

**Sirius:** Ooh! There are others?

**Lily:** Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of it.

**James:** Why are you winking so I can't see you?

**Lily:** So, I ran off back to the Gryffindor common room. Jessie, Katie, and Lara were still
sitting at the table and 'talking.'

**Sirius:** About me, perchance?

**Lily:** James! You told them!

**Remus:** Actually, Sirius has been spying.

**Lily:** Again?

**Sirius:** Guilty as charged.

**Lily:** Of course, being my best friends, they immediately noticed that I was crying. They
raced over to me as I started to sob and fell in a chair.
"He didn't..." Jessie said, not finishing her thought when I nodded my head
yes.
"I'm so sorry!" Lara started crying too and tried to comfort me, but ended up getting
me even wetter than I already was from crying.

James: What's the deal with the fact that they are always against me?

**Lily:** Its ok, I still love you.

**Peter:** Awwww!

**Lily:** But not at the moment.
"I knew this was going to happen. We're really sorry that you can't accept his offer,
Lil." Katie surveyed my tears with a sad look in her eyes.
"Why did you have to-" I sputtered, but was cut off whenever the portrait hole opened and
Sirius came in.

**Sirius:** Oh! So that's what was going on whenever I came in!

**Lily:** YEAH! Of course whenever he walked in, all hopes of comforting me went right out the
window. All three of them rushed right to his side and stayed glued there for the rest of the
evening.

**Sirius:** That was so much fun, too.

**Lily:** Ugh! Please don't tell me what goes on in that little foursome, thank you.

**Sirius:** Fine, but you're missing out!

**James:** I'll take it from here.

Lily eventually disappeared from the common room and the dorms.

**Peter:** You looked really hard?

**James:** Yeah, I even got a girl to go up to the dorms and check and see if she was up there,
still crying.

**Lily:** I wasn't!

**James:** I know! I found her out by the lake, on her favorite rock to sit on to watch the
sunrise. At least she wasn't crying anymore. I could still see the lines on her face where the
tears had run.
"Look, I'm sorry if I offended you, but-" I started. She turned around and smiled a
little.
"It's not your fault. You see...well, it's kind of hard to explain, but..." she
trailed off and left me more confused than ever. "Ok. I'm better now." I sat down
next to her in the grass. "One day, in the library, my friends and I were trailing around,
trying to find something good to look at. Suddenly Jessie called out from around the corner, saying
she had found a book of different charms. While we were looking at it, we all decided to put one
charm on each of us, just for fun. That was probably a really stupid thing to do, now that I look
back on it."
"Probably." I said, smirking.
"Hey." She narrowed her eyes at me and hit me playfully. We laughed and it seemed like my
blunder had never happened.
"Jessie, Katie, and Lara were all put under charms that weren't permanent, but, because we
neglected to read enough about one charm I was put under a permanent charm."
"So," I said, not really getting the picture, "what was it, unending nose
hair?" Lily looked sad.
"We thought of it as a joke. After all, if it wasn't permanent what were the odds that
I'd get married any time soon? Unfortunately, it's lasted throughout my fourth through
seventh years."
"What is it?"
"Every month I...well, I turn into something."
"Like what? A werewolf?" A ripple of fear cursed through me, scared that I'd have to
go through everything Remus goes through twice instead of just once every month.

**Remus:** Gee, thanks.

**James:** "No! It's not that. I just...turn into a different animal every third of the
month."
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"When you turn into ten different kinds of wolves in one night it is."
"Well, what about the problem with marriage?" I said, confused how it could apply to
us.

**Sirius:** Boy, are you thick.

**James:** Shut up!
"That is the problem. I eat everything in sight...including humans. I can't be near
anyone, but...It's confusing."
"Some friends! What kind of curses did they get?"
"I told you! We thought it was all just a huge joke. We never really thought that it would
affect me forever."
"Wait!" I jumped up and took her face in my hands, suddenly very excited, "If it was
a charm than there has to be a counter-curse!"
"I already thought about that." She shook her head.
"Did you look it up in the book and check if it was really permanent or not?"
"Well, that's the thing. Ever since we used that book it has vanished from the library.
We've tried on several occasions to find it, but..."

**Sirius:** Tough luck! Oh, well, I guess your story's over now. Time for mine!

**Lily:** Sirius...shut up.

**Sirius:** Ouch, you bruised my ego.

**Lily:** Good. That's what I was aiming for.

**James:** I suddenly jumped up and made a pose. "I think I have an idea!" I got down
on one knee and started to ask her to marry me again.
"James, I told you, I can't-" Before she could say anything else, I pressed my lips
to hers, cutting her off. Instantly, we felt a warm, sensational feeling flood throughout our
bodies.
"Was that what I think it was?" Lily reached up and played with my hair without thinking.
I smiled and kissed her again.

Actually, that wasn't what we thought it was, but we'll work that out later on.

**Remus:** Wow! That certainly beats my story! You asked the girl of your dreams to marry you,
foiled a charm that kept the girl of your dreams from marrying you, and still got to kiss the girl
of your dreams at the end!

**James:** Yep. I love you.

**Remus:** Me?

**Sirius:** I knew it.

**Lily:** No, stupid! Me! His girlfriend!

**Sirius:** Oh, right.

**Lily:** Jealous, perhaps?

**Sirius:** You wish.

**Peter:** Hey, James, that never really happened, did it?

**James:** ...

**Lily:** ...

**James:** Of course it did! CoughnotCough

**Sirius:** Good! 'Cause I was beginning to worry about Lil there for a second.

**James:** Hey what about me?

**Sirius:** Who?

**James:** Don't toy with me!

**Remus:** Hey, where's Peter going?

James: Huh?

**Sirius:**NO! WORMTAIL! HE WAS TOO YOUNG! WAY TOO YOUNG! Cries

**James:** Hey! You've pulled that before and it still doesn't work.

Sirius: Oh, darn.

**Remus:** Where could he be going?

**James:** ...

**Sirius:** ...

**Remus:** Never mind.

**Lily:** Well, it couldn't be a girl; we know that much.

**Sirius:** I know! It could be to see his 'master', the dark Lord, Voldymort, and to
comfort him in his time of distress. Maybe Wormtail is really, inside, planning to betray and kill
us all by using the unforgivable curses. Maybe, just maybe, he'll cut off his finger and blame
one of us for killing twelve people. AND, maybe James and Lily will have a son that will overthrow
Voldymort and-
James: Please. You and your stories.

**Lily:** Sirius, don't even kid around like that. I can't even believe that you would
joke around with the Dark Lord's name.

**Remus:** I can't believe that he would think you two would have a son.

**James:** Gulp.

**Lily:** No, we're gonna have a daughter.

**Remus:** Wow, James, you've got your work cut out for you; she's probably already
picked out your kid's names.

**James:** Whatever we name them, one of them is Rufus.

**Lily:** WHAT? RUFUS?! What kind of a name is that?!

**Sirius:** Hey! Does this mean I get to tell my story now?

**James:** Sigh. Ok, fine. Get it over with already.

**Sirius:** Ok. Do you guys remember Meredith?

**Lily:** Eck. Yes, unfortunately.

**Remus:** Do you mean the girl you met in the common room that night and started making out
with her five minutes after you had just started talking to her?

**James:** Actually it was two minutes. I counted. It was a new record.
**Sirius:** What, do you time how long it takes for me to start making out with a girl
now?

**James:** Yes...do you have a problem with that?

**Sirius:** No, I was just checking. By the way, how long did it take when I met Raven?

**James:** Are you still hung up on her?

**Sirius:** So, what if I am?

**James:** Whoa! No beating up of the Potter! I mean it now! SIRIUS! BACK AWAY FROM ME! I'M
WARNING YOU! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT FOR MY HORNS WHEN I TRANSFORM!

**Sirius:** Who cares? I'll bite your leg off!! Who's got barbeque sauce?

**James:** Yeah, right! Not if I throw you across the room first!

**Remus:** GUYS! SETTLE! Anyway, Lily, do you have some sort of grudge against Meredith?
What'd she do to you?

**Lily:** Well, let's just say that she and I don't agree on some things. SIRIUS! Step
around from James now!

**Sirius:** Okay, okay! Hey, do you and Meredith not like each other or something?

**Remus:** Can't you learn to listen?

**James:** Oooh! I smell a cat fight!

**Sirius:** Between me and Remus or between Lily and Meredith?

**James:** Who do you think?

**Sirius:** How much do you want to bet on Lily?

**James:** Oh, I don't know...10 galleons...?

**Sirius:** Only ten?! You can afford more than that, James!

**Lily:** Sigh. Boys...

**Sirius:** ...are charming?

**Lily:** Not exactly what I was thinking.

**Sirius:** Oh well. I guess I can only read James' mind. Unfortunately.

**James:** Yeah? What am I thinking about right now?

**Sirius:** I don't think I want to know.

**Remus:** So...Meredith...

**Sirius:** Well, to make a short story short, she was my rebound girl after Raven mysteriously
disappeared.

**Lily:** That's all she is to you? A rebound girl?!

**James:** Raven disappeared? Since when?

**Sirius:** You really need to work on paying attention to other people besides yourself
sometime, James.

**Lily:** You've spent practically every day together with Meredith since the day that Raven
didn't show up for dinner, and all she is to you is a rebound girl?! THAT'S SICK!!

**James:** What? That I only pay attention to myself? I thought you already figured that
out...

**Lily:** No! I'm talking about Sirius!

**Sirius:** Well, of course that's not all she means to me. After all, she was a big part of
the most important day of my life.

**James:** Lily...please stop banging your head against the table. You'll get a
bruise.

**Lily:** I already have one, thank you.

**Remus:** What's the point of your most important day, anyway?

**Sirius:** .....

**Remus:** Padfoot?

**Sirius:** Hold on, I'm thinking!

**Lily:** Wow. That's a first.

**James:** Hey! You stole my comeback!

**Lily:** Tough luck.

**James:** Comeback stealer.

**Lily:** Oooh! Real witty, James!

**Sirius:** Hmmm...I don't think that my story really has a point. I think that I was
bugging you to let me tell the story just so I could bug you.

**Lily:** Oh. My. Gosh. That is the most serious thing I have ever heard come out of Sirius'
mouth.

**Remus:** Incredible. I wonder if it'll ever happen again?

**Sirius:** Hey, guys! Have I shown you what my stomach can do?

**Lily:** .....

**James:** .....

**Remus:** .....

**James:** Nah. I think that's the last time that'll ever happen.

**Sirius:** It can talk!

**Lily:** That's it. I'm leaving Sirius to his juvenile abilities.

**Remus:** Me too.

**Sirius:** *FEED ME!* See! I told you it could talk! Hey?! Where are you going?

**James:** Sirius...forget it; I'm not even going to try.

**Sirius:** *COME BACK!* Um...anyone?

*The End*

**Emmablk1:** That's it... It's done... Finally... Yup... You can close the book now!
End of the paper, people!

Huh?

Oh, thank goodness! Remus wants to say something.

**Remus:** I just have one question.

**James:** What?

**Remus:**
Did any of these stories actually happen on the same day?

**Sirius:**
.....

**James:**
.....

**Sirius:**
What's for lunch?

**Emmablk1:**
That's it. My writing career has gone out the window.

**Sirius:**
Hm...I wonder if she had a writing career to begin with?

**Emmablk1:**
Sirius!

Hang on, I've got to go kill him now.

*5 minutes later*
**James:** If you were wondering, she didn't really kill him because I'm gonna
kill
him later.

**Remus:**
Yawn is it over yet?

**Emmablk1:**
Sorry. It's 10:00 at night and I had caffeine.

**Sirius:**
Definitely not a good combination.

OWWWW! Okay, that one hurt!

**Emmablk1:**
Sush you big baby! I'm trying to end my fanf-

**Emmablk1:** **January 18, 2004**

*It should be taken into consideration that no characters were harmed
during the writing of this fic, though Siri has several really bad
bruises.

And...although I would like to say that Sirius and Remus are all mine and no one else's...they
aren't and neither are any of the other people in this Fic except for Virginia, Meredith and
all of Lily's friends because I randomly picked names that popped into my head. Anyway, mostly
all the characters
belong to J.k rowling, no matter what my brain might try to tell me at
night whenever it is turned off.*



2. Part 2
---------

Hi again! Here is the long awaited sequel to the first Interruptions. I've worked hard on
this, so PLEASE NO FLAMES!! and also, i'm sorry about the spaceing. sometimes fanfiction really
doesn't work for me. And i would like to say now that if you haven't read the first
chapter, GO AND READ IT NOW!!

**INTERRUPTIONS, PART 2**

**Meredith** Gross. Teachers never seem to shut up, do they?

**Lily**
Well, not usually when they're trying to teach.

**Meredith
Oh, ha ha.** Do you want to start a fight?

**Lily
Maybe.** It depends.

**Meredith
On what, exactly?**

**Lily**
Well maybe it's none of your business!

**Meredith**
Well, maybe it is!

**Virginia**

Wow, calm down! There's no need to tear out other people's hair. Yeesh, I
never knew you two could be so snappish!

**Meredith** Yeah, well, live and learn.

**Lily**
Forget it. Let's just start with why I have to be here with her.

**Virginia**
Right. We are ready to tell the real story if what happened with our
boyfriends.

**Meredith** Especially since Sirius messed it up so badly the first time around.

**Lily
Huh.** Well, as usual, James did a perfect job with the telling.

**Meredith
Only because you helped him.**

**Lily** Shut up!

**Meredith**
Like he's really Mr. Perfect anyways...

**Lily**
Oh, like Sirius is either?

**Virginia**
Personally, I think Remus did a fine job.

**Meredith**
Speaking of Remus...

**Virginia** Oh, do I have to tell her now?

**Lily** Tell me what?

**Virginia**
Um...please don't be mad at me.

**Lily** Oh no. What did you do?

**Virginia**
Well...I was kinda talking to Remy about the little retelling thing and I
sorta ended up inviting him.

**Lily**
Don't worry about it, that's not so bad.

**Meredith**
No, but wait until you hear the end of it.

**Lily**
Uh oh.

**Virginia**
The news sorta kinda spread.

**Lily**
You mean...

**Virginia** Yeah. They're coming. **Lily**
All of them?

**Virginia**
Yeah.

**Meredith**
You know, banging your head on the table isn't good for you.

**Lily**
Shut up!

**Virginia**
...

**Lily**

Do you have ANY idea what happened last time I was with Sirius, James, and
Remus?

**Virginia**
Uh...Chaos?

**Lily
Much, much more than that.** You should have seen it.

**Virginia**
Oh.

**Lily**
When will they get here?

**Virginia**
In about two seconds and counting.

**Meredith** Sirius!

**Sirius**
Meredith!

**Remus** Okay, if this turns into a snogging session, I'm out of here.

**Virginia**
Remy!

**James
Remy?**

**Remus**
Shut up!

**Lily**
I wouldn't be talking, Boo Boo Bear!

**James**
Shh! No one's supposed to know about that!

**Lily**
Oh, they're gonna find out sooner or later!

**James** What?! How in the world would they find out?

**Sirius** So, Boo Boo Bear, huh? How'd ya get that name?

**James**
Shut up, shut up, shut up!

**Meredith**
Alright, now that we're all here, we will commence with the retelling.

**Sirius
Retelling?**

**Meredith**
Yes! You boys did a terrible job with our stories!

**Remus**
Hey!

**Meredith**
Oh, don't get so uppity, Remus.

**Sirius**

I didn't do anything!

**Meredith**

Most of it's your fault, Sirius Lee Black! You know very well that I'm not just your
rebound girl! We fully agreed on breaking up before the summer!

**Sirius**
Ok, don't use so many exclamation points, there!

**Lily**
Is there some trouble in paradise?

**Meredith**
No! Nothing's wrong except for the fact that Sirius has a bloated head!

**James**

Yeah, that's been a problem from day one. It really is a hazard to get him
through the doorways.

**Lily** Please! I don't know why you, of all people, are talking about someone
else's bloated head.

**James**
What's that supposed to mean?!

**Remus**

Why do I get the feeling that we're the only non-dysfunctional couple here?

**Virginia**
Because you're right.

**Remus**
Did you bring any popcorn? This is gonna take a while.

**Sirius**

Hey! You two lovebirds! Don't you dare wonder off until I get a chance to
talk to you about the birds and the bees.

**James**

Seriously, I didn't think that there was a color that your face could turn
that came after puce until today.

**Sirius**
Do you think they're getting enough air?

**Meredith**
This is going no where.

**Lily
Gee, who told you that**?

**Meredith**
I'm warning you...

**Lily
Oh, please.**

**Sirius** How much did you bet on Lily again?

**James
Not enough.**

**Lily**
Hey!

**Meredith** Look, I just wanted all of us to come here and fix this problem.

**Sirius**
What problem?

**Meredith**
Arrghh! Do I have to go over it again?

**James**

Just ten more times, then, if we're lucky, it might be able to stay in his
head. But that's a big might.

**Meredith**
Remind me why I'm dating you before the summer?

**Sirius** 'Cause I'm cute and loveable.

**Meredith**
Not the qualities I would have chosen.

**James** Why are we here again?

**Remus**

Are we going to be finished soon? Virginia and I want to go to the library.

**James
Again?** What do you two do in there?

**Sirius** Think about it...

**Remus**
NO!

**Virginia**
That's not what we do, thank you!

**Sirius** I didn't say anything.

**Meredith**
We are so off track.

**James**
Aren't we always?

**Sirius**
I thought we were supposed to retell something.

**Meredith** WE ARE!

**Sirius**

Whoa! Feel free to actually lower your voice about two notches, thank you.

**Meredith**

Look, I'm just trying to get the facts straight here. Ok? Can you give me
that much?

**Sirius
Sure.** How much more do you want?

**James** Oh, man, that was corny.

**Sirius**
Beggars can't be choosers.

**Remus**
That should be moochers can't be choosers.

**Sirius**
Hey, I don't mooch as much as I used to!

**Lily**
Sure...

**Virginia**
Why is it always like this with you two?

**Sirius** Like what?

**Virginia**
Like...shoot, now I can't describe it!

**James**
Yeah, we are pretty indescribable.

**Lily**
You mean undesirable.

**Sirius**
Yeah, that too...wait a minute!

**Virginia**
That took a while.

**Remus** He has a slow brain.

**James**
Who said anything about him having a brain at all?

**Sirius**
So...didn't you want dolls want us to re-do something?

**Lily** Umm...Meredith left after you said you were a moocher.

**Sirius** Oh. I knew that...

**Remus**
I never doubted your intelligence.

**Sirius**
You were being sarcastic, right?

**Remus
Yep.**

**Lily**
So...now what?

**Remus**
Umm...you know what? I just remembered I have to 'leave.'

**Virginia** What do you mean by that?

**Sirius** Gee, she acts just like lily. Are you sure she isn't lily's long
lost
sister or something?

**James**
Shh! They hardly ever fight and I like to be reminded that they are
actually a normal couple sometimes.

**Remus**
That I have to leave.

**Virginia**
Why do you always do this?

**Remus**
Do what?

**Virginia**
THIS!

**Lily**
Umm...do you think we should back away slowly?

**James**
No...I think we should run away quickly.

**Sirius**
Which way is the nearest exit?

**Remus** I don't know what you're talking about!

**Virginia**
You always do this to me...nearly every month.

**Remus** No...don't cry...I can't stand to see you like that.

**Lily**

Ahh...that was even more touching than the romantic movie I saw last summer!

**Virginia**

Well, then just leave like you always do, maybe then you won't have to look
at my bloated face!

**Sirius**
Does her face get puffy when she cries?

**Lily** Yeah, you can't see her eyes.

**James**
Like her neck is blowing a bubble?

**Lily**
James, that's not funny.

**James** Maybe we should be-

**Remus**
Just trust me, ok? Can't you do that?

**Sirius**
I think she's already out the door, Moony.

**Remus** I better go.

**Sirius**

Well, now that that's behind us, maybe we should have a nice cup of tea and
plant some roses.

**Lily**
Ok, you go do that.

**James
Man, talking about overreacting.**

**Lily**
What does that mean?

**Sirius
Huh?**

**James**
Well, she was clearly being a drama queen.

**Sirius** Uh, oh...

**Lily**
She has a point, you know.

**James
A point?**

**Lily**

Yes, is that thought so inconceivable? You think that girls are incapable
of having a point?

**James**
Err...I...need to go to the bathroom?

**Sirius**
No you don't, you go every day when potions starts.

**Lily**
James, you are not getting out of this one.

**Sirius** Yeah, 'cause she didn't let you off any of the other times.

**James**
Sirius...

**Lily and James**
SHUT UP!!

**Sirius**
Ouch...I'm gonna go over to the corner now...and regain my ability to hear.

**James**
Lil, I don't think...

**Lily**
Exactly, you don't think.

**James**

Wait, you can't leave-Binns might turn around and actually check on us and
see that half his class has walked out! LILY!

**Sirius**
Sorry, Boo Boo Bear.

**James** I thought I told you not to call me that.

**Sirius** No, you just blamed lily for bringing it up.

**James** Lily. I have to go talk to her...

**Sirius**

Wait a minute! Like you said, Binns might actually watch us for a change
and catch you leaving. Besides...I have a plan.

**James**

What do you mean, catch me leaving?! Half his class has walked out already!
I don't think- ...wait a minute...did you just say that you have a plan?

**Sirius
Yeah.**

**James**
You mean you're actually using that brain of yours?

**Sirius**
It has to be used for something, right? Why not ingenious plots?

**James**
I don't know...I really need to go after lily.

**Sirius**
Don't. Listen to me-

**James**
Those words are famous death wishes.

**Sirius
Ha ha.** Loved that joke. Not.

**James**
Alright, what do you want?

**Sirius**
Come closer.

**James**
We're sharing the same piece of paper. That's close enough for me.

**Sirius** How am I supposed to tell you...?

**James**
What? Could you whisper a bit louder, please?

**Sirius** ...

**James**
I said louder, not inaudible.

**Sirius**
...

**James** huh?

**Sirius** I SAID I WANT TO PULL A PRANK ON SNAPE!!

**James
Oh.** Why didn't you just say so?

**Sirius
Sigh.**

**James**
That's no big deal. We do it all the time.

**Sirius**
Yeah, but we don't usually use Moony as bait.

**James**
...wha...

**Sirius**
Yep. This is no ordinary prank.

**James**
Hold on...let me get this straight.

**Sirius**

No, no. Leave it crumpled; it's much more fun that way. Leave it that way
for once.

**James**

We're using our own friend as bait for some sort of twisted practical joke?

**Sirius**
To get at Snivellus-you can't forget that. It makes it all worthwhile.

**James**

Whatever. The point is we're using Moony when we're supposed to be helping
him.

**Sirius** Says who?

**James**
Says every teacher in this school.

**Sirius**
Oh, yeah...but since when do we listen to them?

**James**
You really don't see a problem with this, do you?

**Sirius
Not really, no.**

**James
Oh.** Well, in that case...

**Sirius** You cave in really easily, don't you?

**James** It's to get at Snivellus, right?

**Sirius**
What else would it be for?

**James**
All right; I'm in.

**Sirius**
Yea!

**Lily** What are you yea-ing about?

**Sirius** No reason, why?

**Lily**

Well the only reason you're usually that happy is when you're about to pull
a prank on-

**Sirius**
Quick James; evasive maneuver number three!

**James**
No one was yea-ing.

**Sirius**
We don't know what you're talking about, Lil.

**Lily**
Huh?

**Sirius** So...Lil...how are you doing?

**Lily**
Uh...fine.

**Sirius**
Good, good.

**Lily**
Now I'm really freaked out.

**James** Aren't you always?

**Lily**
What?

**James**
Never mind.

**Sirius**
That was just Prong's feeble attempt at making a joke. He just can't
measure up to me, no matter how hard he tries...

**James**
Sigh. Must you always make me hurt you?

**Sirius** OUCH!!

**Lily**
Don't you two want to know how Virginia is?

**Sirius** Oh, is that why you came back?

**Lily**
That and I can't afford to miss class, thanks to James.

**James**
I didn't mean to get you in trouble!

**Lily**
Sure...

**Sirius**

And silly little me thought you might come back to be with James. Now we
know where your loyalties lie.

**James**
He has a point.

**Lily**
Now that thought is inconceivable.

**James** She has a point.

**Sirius** I'm about to point you in your eye, Boo Boo Bear.

**James** All your jokes are falling flat today, Siri.

**Sirius**
Don't call me that.

**Lily**
Maybe it's because he needs Meredith to help him...

**James** Hmmm...

**Lily** Hmmm...

**Sirius
No.**

**Lily**
You miss her!

**Sirius** No I don't!

**James**
Hahahaha! He misses her!!

**Sirius** I told you-

**James** I think I'm gonna die of laughter!

**Sirius**
Stop it!

**Lily**
I'll go get her, Sirius.

**Sirius** No! I don't want he- oh, why hello Meredith, my dear.

**Meredith**
Sirius.

**Lily
Ouch.** Cold shoulder.

**Sirius**
Where's a suicide pop when you need one?

**James**
They're selling them at Zonko's.

**Lily** Try to be more helpful, James.

**Meredith** If you don't need me, I'll leave.

**Sirius**
No! Ummm...you can't leave yet...

**Meredith** Why not?

**Sirius** Because...you haven't...darned my socks?

**Meredith**
Goodbye.

**Sirius**
No, wait!!

**Meredith** Sigh. What now?

**Lily**
Maybe we should give them a moment alone.

**James**
Maybe we should eavesdrop.

**Lily**
I like that idea better.

**Meredith** Look, nothing you can say to me will-

**Lily**
GROSS!!

**James** Do we really look like that when we kiss?

**Lily**
No, James dear, we don't kiss like penguins.

**James**
Guys...? As much as I respect both of you, I have to say that there is no
possible way that this kiss can continue.

**Lily
'Cause it's gross.**

**James
Right.**

**Lily**
Oh, good, they've separated.

**James**
Whew...that was close.

**Meredith
Wow.** I really wasn't expecting that.

**Sirius**
Heh, heh...well, I didn't mean to...that is to say, I...

**Meredith** Don't worry. I forgive you.

**James
Thank goodness.**

**Meredith** Oh! I have to go!

**Sirius** So soon?

**James**
Ok, too much mushiness for me, thank you.

**Meredith**
Bye.

**Lily**
Well, aren't you glad that I called her back?

**Sirius** Huh?

**Lily**
Hey!

**Sirius**
OUCH! THAT HURT!!

**Lily
Oh, you big baby.**

**James**

No, really. Your punches really hurt, Lil. Maybe you need to take therapy.

**Lily**
I do NOT need to take therapy.

**Sirius**
Don't worry, James. She just has a temper because she's a red-head.

**James** Uh, oh.

**Lily**
WHAT DID YOU SAY, SIRIUS LEE BLACK?!

**Sirius**
Um...

**James** I know; evasive maneuver number three...

**Sirius**
I said that the grass looks green today.

**Lily** What?

**James**
And the sky is abnormally blue.

**Lily**
Oh, ha ha.

**Sirius**
Well, I thought it was funny.

**James** Thank you.

**Sirius**
It wasn't as good as my jokes, of course, but...

**James**
Don't you need a suicide pop, or something?

**Virginia**
Hey, guys.

**Sirius and James
Virginia?**

**Lily**
Are you ok?

**Virginia**

I could be doing better. So, are you telling the stories yet? I mean, we have enough time now;
classes are over and we're just sitting here in the
common room doing nothing.

**Sirius**
Thank you Captain Obvious.

**James**
What stories?

**Lily**
Sigh.

**James**
OUCH!!

**Virginia** You mean that you haven't even started?

**Lily**
Well, it's kinda hard.

**Virginia**
Oh. Right.

**Sirius** I think that James and Lily don't need to tell their story.

**James
Really?** Why?

**Sirius**
Don't narrow your eyes at me!

**Virginia** He's right. You two told the last story so well.

**Sirius**
Considering that it wasn't true.

**Lily**
We just wanted to make it more interesting.

**James**
And keep Sirius from not telling his story.

**Sirius** How'd YOU know it wasn't true, anyway?

**Virginia**
I read the notes from your dormitory.

**James**
How in the world did you get up there?

**Virginia**

Just because the girl's dorm is locked, it doesn't mean that the boy's is
too.

**Lily** Plus we were dying all of your underwear pink.

**Sirius** YOU did that?!

**Virginia**
Ingenious, right?

**Sirius**
More like lucky.

**Lily** Lucky?

**Sirius** That we weren't up there.

**Lily
Oh, and what would you do, huh?**

**Virginia**
Uh oh...James, stop them.

**James**
I have no control over Padfoot.

**Virginia** But what about Lily?

**James**
What do you think?

**Virginia**
SIRIUS! STOP BUTTING HEADS WITH LILY!!

**James**
LILY! STOP KICKING SIRIUS YOU-KNOW-WHERE!!

**Virginia**
We have to find separate cages for them one day.

**James**
If only the owl cages were big enough....

**Virginia**
I don't think Sirius' big head would let him fit anyway.

**James**
True.

**Sirius**
Owww....look at me; I'm limping for Merlin's sake!

**James** C'mon, it didn't hurt that badly.

**Sirius**
Yeah? Well, you try getting kicked there five times!

**James**
No thank you.

**Lily** OH MY GOSH!

**Sirius**
Now what?

**Lily
Do you know what time it is?**

**James**

Ummm...about 7:00pm would be my guess, but my watch has stopped ever since
Padfoot pushed me into the lake.

**Lily**
Virginia, we're late for our prefect's meeting!

**Virginia**

Uh, oh...we have to go. McGonagall gets really testy whenever prefects from
her own house are late.

**Sirius**
See you two dolls later.

**James
Hey, Padfoot?**

**Sirius** Yes, Prongs?

**James**

Aren't we supposed to be doing something that involves Moony turning into a
werewolf?

**Sirius** I'm not sure.

**James
Padfoot...

Sirius
Huh?** OUCH!!

**James**

Moony is going to turn into a werewolf any second and we're not there to
help him!

**Sirius**
Oh, is that what the fuss is all about?

**James** PADFOOT!

**Sirius**
I'm coming, I'm coming!! Hey, what about the parchment?

**James**
Just leave it there! No one will notice it!

**Sirius**
Ok, but...

**James** PADFOOT!! WE HAVE TO GO!

**one** **hour later**

**Lily**
That's weird.

**Virginia**
What?

**Lily**
They aren't here.

**Virginia** Who isn't here?

**Lily
Sirius and James.**

**Virginia**
That's not so weird.

**Lily** No, but...

**Virginia**
What's weird is what they wrote after we were gone.

**Lily**
What do you mean?

**Virginia**
Look.

**Lily**
...

**Virginia**
You don't think...

**Lily**
No way. It's just another prank they're trying to pull on us.

**Virginia**
Remus can't be a werewolf.

**Lily**
They must have been playing around or something.

**Virginia**
Sure...

**Lily**
Let's just leave it here and pretend we didn't see it.

**Virginia**
Right.

**Lily**
Although, it would explain a few things...

**Virginia**
Let's not talk about it now, k? I need a good night's sleep.

**Lily
Alright, then.**

**two** **hours later**

**James** That was a close one.

**Sirius**
Yeah, remind me never to try jumping over the lake again.

**James** Why'd you even try in the first place?

**Sirius** ....you know what?....

**James** What?

**Sirius** I don't remember.

**James** Gee. That's weird.

**Sirius** Was that your attempt at being sarcastic?

**James
Basically, yeah.**

**Sirius
Good.** I was concerned there for a second.

**James**
Hey, does something seem different to you?

**Sirius** Like what?

**James** The parchment was moved.

**Sirius**

Yeah, 'cause I just moved it. You have really good deductive skills, James.

**James**
No, I mean it was moved before we came back. Someone was reading it.

**Sirius**
Dun dun DUNNNN!

**James
Funny man.**

**Sirius** Actually my nickname is the King of all Pranks.

**James** In your dreams.

**Sirius**
No, in my dreams, it's-

**James** Enough already.

**Sirius** So, who moved it?

**James**
Moved what?

**Sirius
Sigh.**

**James**
OUCH!! What was that for?!

**Sirius**
I don't know; I just felt like acting like you.

**James
Ha, ha.**

**Sirius** Who moved the parchment? Yeesh, do I have to ask you twice?

**James** You just did. And I can't tell.

**Sirius** That crosses detective for the department of mysteries off your list of
jobs. You know that list is just getting smaller every day.

**James**
AHA!!

**Sirius** Aha what?

**James** It was Lily!

**Sirius**
What was she- oh no.

**James**
Why in the world did we put that in writing?

**Sirius
Because your brain waves disrupted mine.**

**James**
This is all your fault.

**Sirius**
How's it my fault?!

**James** I don't know, but this is the only thing I can depend on in a crisis.

**Sirius** True.

**James**

Look, maybe we should just get out of here-with the parchment- and hope and
pray-

**Sirius**
Now who are we praying to this time?

**James** Let's see...Merlin is the only one we haven't tried...

**Sirius**
Good choice.

**James**
Thank you. And maybe we can worry about this in the morning.

**Sirius**
Ok.

**James**
Ok.

**Sirius**
I'm hungry.

**James**
You're always hungry.

**Sirius**
But this is a pain-in-the-stomach kind of hungry.

**James** You had that last night.

**Sirius** No, that was a rumbling-in-the-stomach type of hungry.

**James**
Oh, I always get those confused.

**Sirius** Yeah, that sounds like you.

**James** Well, at least your stomach isn't talking again.

**Sirius** Oh, yeah! I forgot that I could do that!

**James
Oh, man...why'd I have to remind him?**

**Sirius**
FEED ME!!

**James**
You are an embarrassment to high society. If there we any high society
people in here, I'm sure they'd be embarrassed.

**Sirius**
AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME!!

**James**

So, please just save him the pain that I'm going to give him and stop the
fic right no-

**Emmablk1: July 20, 2004 ;)**

**Emmablk1:**

Well, I hope you liked it. It's about two pages longer than the first one, but I can't
help thinking that it's not as good. Send me some reviews and
tell me!!

**Sirius**
Yes, send some reviews, and while you're at it, send some band-aids.

**James**
They did not hit you that hard.

**Sirius**
You wanna bet?

**Emmablk1:** Sigh. Where's Remus when you want him?

**Sirius**
Where was Peter during all this, anyway?

**James and Emmablk1:
...**

**James** Wait a minute! YOU should know, you're the author!

**Emmablk1:**
Well...he was...indisposed.

**Sirius**
O...K...James, Defensive maneuver number six!!

**Emmablk1:** Hey! What are you doing?!

**James
Throwing you into the lake, nothing special.**

**Emmablk1:**
AHHHHHH!!!!

**Sirius**
That was fun. We should do it to someone else.

**James**
Like Snape?

**Sirius**
Yeah!!

**Emmablk1:** Hey! You can't just leave me in here!! Oh, no! My watch stopped!

**James**
Will this thing never end?

**Sirius** So long, folks. And remember, if you should one day find your stomach
talking, that probably means that you forgot to feed it.

**Emmablk1: July 20, 2004 ;)**

So, was it ok? tell me!! and for further notice, i was realyl hyper during most of this b/c i
had my friends over for a sleepover and they were sitting right next to me when i was writing it,
so some of the better jokes might belong to them. ;) ttyl! and if anyone gives me a good idea for
anyother one, then i'll start writing it! b/c i am all out of ideas for a while.



3. Part 3
---------

Ok, this was a *little* longer than i expected it would turn out to be...it's about 35
pages instead of the regular 30...but that's ok, right? b/c you wanted more, right? all i have
to say is...REVIEW OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!! but i'll still love you
while i'm doing it, because you at least read it...

**Ron**

Why do they insist on loading us down with homework so that the only way that we can take it
back to the common room is to make three trips to each class?

**Hermione**

Calm down, Ron. It wasn’t that much.

**Harry**

Says little Miss Genius over here...

**Hermione**

Ha, ha. Really. All we have to do is three inches for McGonagall, two for Binns, and one for
charms. It really isn’t that hard.

**Ron**

You’re forgetting to mention the other homework that we haven’t turned in yet.

**Hermione**

You mean you and Harry haven’t turned it in yet. I’ve handed in all my parchments.

**Harry**

Yes. Thank you for reminding us.

**Hermione**

Hmmm...look, if you really have that much to do, then you’re going to need some more
parchment.

**Harry**

I’ve run out.

**Ron**

Me too.

**Hermione**

You really need to buy some more next time we’re at Hogsmeade.

**Ron**

Can’t. Spent it all at Zonko’s.

**Hermione**

Why am I not surprised?

**Harry**

Because we do this every time we go to Hogsmeade. What makes you think that last time was any
different?

**Hermione**

Sigh. I didn’t.

**Ron**

Well, Miss Prissy Perfect, do you have any more parchment that we can use?

**Hermione**

As a matter of fact, I do...somewhere.

**Harry**

Ron, it’s a miracle...Hermione might not actually know what something is!

**Ron**

We better document this moment for future reference.

**Harry**

Let’s see...October 6...what were her exact words again?

**Ron**

Uh...sorry-I have a bad short term memory. Much like Hermione, I expect.

**Hermione**

That isn’t documenting-that’s blackmail!!

**Ron**

Exactly.

**Hermione**

Very funny, boys.

**Harry**

We crack ourselves up sometimes.

**Hermione**

I’ll be right back.

**Harry**

Why are Fred and George huddled in the corner surrounded by five people?

**Ron**

They’re hiding from Hermione.

**Harry**

I knew that, but what are they doing?

**Ron**

I don’t think we want to know. It’s something to do with...uh...Gender changing something...and
Malfoy...

**Harry**

Now I really want to know.

**Ron**

Or maybe I’m wrong.

**Harry**

Let’s just hope that they did something despicable to Malfoy.

**Ron**

Wow. That’s the biggest word I’ve ever heard you say. And that time when you spoke in snake
tongue doesn’t count.

**Harry**

What could be taking Hermione this long?

**Ron**

I don’t know. Maybe she has her boyfriend stuck up there or something.

**Harry**

Ron...how many times do I have to tell you that Hermione doesn’t have a boyfriend?

**Ron**

Yes she does! I know it in my guts!

**Harry**

Yeah, well, your guts are all squished inside that pudgy body of yours.

**Ron**

Hey! It’s not that pudgy.

**Harry**

All I’m saying is to lay off the chocolate for a while, Ron.

**Ron**

But it’s almost Halloween!

**Harry**

Not for three more weeks.

**Ron**

So what?

**Harry**

If you want Hermione to like you, then you need to...be nicer. And maybe loose a little
weight.

**Ron**

Since when are you an expert on relationships, Harry?

**Harry**

Look, just listen to me about Hermione-

**Hermione**

What about me?

**Ron**

Nothing.

**Harry**

Nothing.

**Hermione**

Hmm...

**Ron**

Don’t narrow your eyes at me; Harry’s the one who said your name!

**Hermione**

Right. Well, anyways, I found some rather old pieces of parchment, but they’re parchment
nonetheless.

**Harry**

Think that it could get any more battered?

**Ron**

Hey, there’s writing on this!

**Hermione**

No there’s not.

**Ron**

Then what are these squiggly letters that look like writing, Hermione?

**Hermione**

Well, what else would they be?

**Harry**

It looks like a whole huge set of notes.

**Ron**

There’s writing on every page!

**Harry**

Where did you find these?

**Hermione**

I don’t know. They were just placed somewhere beneath the windowsill.

**Ron**

And why were you looking there, Hermione?

**Harry**

Ron, I think that look means that your body is going to be cut up and buried underneath the
Quiddich field.

**Ron**

So...uh...what do the notes say?

**Hermione**

Harry! That handwriting looks exactly like yours!

**Ron**

I wonder why.

**Harry**

That’s because it’s my father’s.

**Ron**

Huh?

**Hermione**

What do you mean?

**Ron**

How would you know that?

**Harry**

Well, for one, he writes just like I do.

**Ron**

True.

**Hermione**

Are you two even reading what they wrote?

**Ron**

Uh...

**Hermione**

I’ll take that as a no.

**Harry**

Why? What’d they write?

**Hermione**

Well, take a look...

**Ron**

Oh. My. Bloody-

**Hermione**

Ron! Don’t swear!

**Ron**

Oh, like you’ve never done it!

**Harry**

There’s pages and pages of just Sirius and James bantering.

**Ron**

Wow, there’s some really snappy comebacks on here.

**Harry**

Should we read it?

**Ron**

I don’t see why not.

**Hermione**

I do.

**Ron**

Huh?

**Hermione**

It’s their private things! Obviously Lily was in my dorm when she went here and she hid it for
some reason.

**Ron**

Maybe she thought Harry was going to be a girl and he would find it later. In which case, he
would be reading it anyway.

**Hermione**

You’re just trying to justify the fact that you want to read it.

**Ron**

Uh...yeah...so?

**Hermione**

Sigh. Fine, we can read it.

**Ron**

Ok. Harry?

**Hermione**

Harry?

**Harry**

Huh? Oh, sorry...I was reading. Besides, I usually tune you two out whenever you have your
‘lover’s spats.’

**Ron**

Hey!

**Hermione**

I don’t know what to be insulted for first!

**Ron**

They’re NOT lover’s spats!

**Harry**

Just hurry up and read it...

**(Twenty somewhat years ago...)**

**James**

I. hate. School. I. hate. School. I. hate. School. I. hate. School. I. hat-

**Peter**

Uh...James...what are you doing?

**James**

I’m venting. What does it look like I’m doing, Peter?

**Sirius**

Ouch. Watch out...James is on a rampage today.

**James**

Shut up Sirius.

**Remus**

What’s making you so testy, Prongs?

**James**

Does everybody have to be in my business?!

**Remus**

**Sirius**

**Peter**

**James**

Well?! Do you?!

**Peter**

Uh...yes...no...I mean...yes...no...

**Sirius**

Just don’t say anything; it makes the time pass quicker.

**Remus**

Where’s Lily?

**James**

DON’T ASK THAT!!

**Remus**

O...k...I wasn’t expecting that...

**Sirius**

Half my face is now covered in your spit, James. I hope you’re happy.

**James**

Happy?! HAPPY?! How could I be HAPPY?!

**Peter**

Uh...by smiling?

**Remus**

Shh...don’t push it, Wormtail.

**Sirius**

Did you two have another fight again?

**James**

**Sirius**

I’ll take that as a yes.

**Remus**

So wouldn’t the correct thing to say be ‘I. hate. Lily.’ a hundred times over?

**Peter**

But he’s in love with her...how could he hate her?

**Sirius**

Someone please explain the meaning of the universe to Wormtail...

**Sirius**

So what was the argument about this time?

**James**

...I can’t tell you...

**Sirius**

Alrighty then...we’ll just have to make it into a guessing game.

**Remus**

No! Don’t you remember the last time that we played a guessing game?!

**Sirius**

Uh...no, because we’ve never done that before.

**Remus**

Oh. I could have sworn that we had done everything and they had all ended in failure.

**Sirius**

Hey, not everything I do ends up as failure!

**James**

Really? What about how you ‘conveniently’ left out the parchment and let Lily and Virginia see
it?

**Sirius**

Oh, sure. Blame it on the dog.

**James**

Thanks, I think I will.

**Remus**

So...was that what the big fight with Lily was about?

**James**

Well, let’s just say that a certain dog left the parchment out and that a certain girlfriend and
her best friend read it and that a certain boy with the name of Prongs got blamed for it.

**Sirius**

Oh. That.

**James**

And, let’s just say that Lily and Virginia now know the meaning of P.R.O.N.G.S.

**Sirius**

Presumably Really Obstinate and Never Gets over mistakeS?

**James**

Suuure...and you’re S.T.U.P.I.D.

**Remus**

That should take him a while to figure out.

**James**

Will not.

**Remus**

Bet you twenty galleons.

**James**

You’re on!

**Peter**

Ummm...what do those letters spell?

**James**

**Remus**

James! Stop beating your head against the wall; it causes permanent brain damage!!

**Sirius**

To what brain?

**James**

He’s. So. Dumb...Why have we failed to teach him anything?!

**Remus**

James, I don’t think we taught him how to read.

**James**

He knows how to read?

**Remus**

**Sirius**

Hey!! You called me stupid!!

**Remus**

Told you.

**James**

Sigh.

**Remus**

Pay up.

**James**

I always give him more brain cells than what he actually has. I need to learn to stop doing
that...he’s loosing me money...

**Sirius**

You guys were betting on me?!

**Remus**

No...of course not...

**James**

Don’t wink at me like that.

**Peter**

Uh...Prongs?

**James**

What is it now, Peter? Do you want to me to teach you to spell?

**Peter**

Ha, ha. Look.

**James**

**Remus**

Uh oh...

**James**

Sirius...I wouldn’t normally ask you to do this, but...hide me.

**Sirius**

Hey! Get off me!! I don’t fly that way!

**Peter**

Really?

**Sirius**

I’m NOT GAY!

**Lily**

That’s a horrid fact to know, considering that my arch rival is dating you...

**Remus**

Still? Hasn’t she given up on him yet?

**Sirius**

Lily, m’dear! How lovely to see you...here...of all places...

**James**

Check it out-you can actually see the sweat beginning to form on the back of his neck...

**Peter**

Uh...James...I think that glare means that you’re gonna get a wedgie sometime soon...

**James**

Eh...you can’t win them all...

**Sirius**

Uh...I would run if I were you, Boo Boo Bear.

**James**

SIRIUS! I thought I told you never call me that again!

**Sirius**

Oh, stop whining.

**Lily**

James Potter.

**James**

Lily...Lily Evans...how lovely to see you again...and so soon...

**Lily**

Yes, well...I...thought you might...

**Remus**

Hint, hint, James...

**James**

Me too.

**Lily**

You too what?

**James**

I would like an apology, too.

**Lily**

Excuse me?

**James**

Remus, wasn’t that the right thing to say?

**Remus**

Let me put it this way...no.

**Lily**

If anything, Mister Potter, I’m the one who should have the apology given to!

**Sirius**

Do any of you know what it was that she just said?

**(And back to Harry, Ron, and Hermione...)**

**Ron**

I give up- this is too confusing...

**Harry**

How is it confusing?!

**Ron**

It just is!

**Hermione**

Actually, it’s really quite simple.

**Ron**

And again, I present to you, Little-Miss-Know-It-All...

**Harry**

Uh, oh...she’s giving you that look again...

**Ron**

Ignore it and maybe the person giving it will go away.

**Harry**

Ouch.

**Hermione**

Ron! What’s the matter with you?!

**Ron**

What do you mean, what’s the matter with me?!

**Hermione**

You’re being so...so...

**Harry**

S.T.U.P.I.D.?

**Hermione**

Well, not exactly, but...

**Harry**

Basically, yes.

**Hermione**

I just don’t understand what’s going on with you! It’s like you’re having mood swings, for
heaven’s sake!

**Ron**

Well, maybe it’s because of you’re little boyfriend!

**Hermione**

**Harry**

For the record, I didn’t tell him anything.

**Hermione**

My...my...boy...friend?

**Ron**

That’s right. You heard me.

**Hermione**

You mean a friend that’s a boy, right?

**Ron**

Interpret it as you will. I’m leaving.

**Harry**

Ron, where are you going?

**Ron**

I don’t know.

**Harry**

Ron? Ron!

**Hermione**

Boys. They’re nothing but trouble.

**Harry**

Hmm...let’s just hope he takes a good jump into the lake.

**Hermione**

Imagine him! Saying that I have a...a...

**Harry**

Boyfriend?

**Hermione**

**Harry**

Well, you kinda do.

**Hermione**

What?!

**Harry**

No! Don’t take it that way!! I meant that RON was your kind of boyfriend!

**Hermione**

R...on?

**Harry**

Don’t look so surprised. I can hardly sit by you two anymore because of your incessant flirting,
you fight over the smallest little details, from the color of the robes in our uniform, to how
large Hagrid’s house is...if any of that isn’t flirting, then I don’t know what is...

**Hermione**

You mean like the time when he stole my slippers?

**Harry**

That would be flirting.

**Hermione**

And when I took revenge on him and made all his quills write in sparkly pink?

**Harry**

Uh...I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count.

**Hermione**

That’s all...oh.

**Harry**

I always knew you were a bright witch, Hermione.

**Hermione**

**Harry**

Hermione...your face is as bright as Ron’s hair...

**Hermione**

I have to go...

**Harry**

Hehehehe...

**Harry**

**Harry**

Well, this is stupid, I’m not going to sit here and talk to myself...

**(You’re going to kill me for going back and forth, aren’t you?)**

**Remus**

Sigh.

**Peter**

Huh? What’s the matter, Moony?

**Remus**

Nothing.

**James**

Oh, right. Because in your world, nothing means that you can’t eat, sleep, having any fun of any
kind, crack jokes, or blink.

**Remus**

**James**

We know something’s up.

**Sirius**

And to save you a lot of pain and silence, why don’t you just tell us what happened.

**Remus**

Virginia knows about me being a...you know.

**Sirius**

A werewolf? I think we already figured that one out.

**James**

Did she...

**Remus**

Yeah...

**Sirius**

She did what?

**James**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

OUCH!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

**James**

She broke up with him, you idiot!

**Sirius**

Oh...OH!

**James**

He’s cursed...I’m telling you people that he’s cursed...

**Remus**

Me or Sirius?

**James**

Sirius.

**Peter**

Cursed with what, exactly?

**James**

The incompetent brain syndrome.

**Peter**

Uh...and that means...

**James**

That he’s a moron.

**Remus**

Hmmm...

**Peter**

Hmmm...

**James**

Hmmm...

**Remus**

You know what? That makes a lot of sense now...

**James**

Told ya.

**Sirius**

Whaf mafes a fot of fense fow?

**James**

Sirius, what are you eating and where did it come from?

**Sirius**

I gof if from-

**Lily**

EEH! Swallow first!!

**Sirius**

Soffy...

**James**

LILY!!!

**Lily**

James...please...let...go...you’re...cho...keing...me...

**James**

Sorry.

**Peter**

Hi, Lily!

**Lily**

Hey, Peter, I haven’t seen you around that much...

**Peter**

Uh...duties...you know...it calls...

**James**

Yeah, almost as much as Sirius spits when chewing...

**Lily**

Remus, I came to see if you were ok.

**Remus**

**Sirius**

He’s not talking anymore. We count it as a blessing.

**Lily**

Sirius!

**Sirius**

OUCH! Sorry.

**Remus**

You know...I think that I might just go up to the dorm and lay down...

**James**

Are you sure you’re ok?

**Remus**

**James**

Never mind.

**Sirius**

Now if we could only make Peter go away so quickly...

**Peter**

Hey!

**Sirius**

Just joking...James, make a mental note to somehow get Peter to be away as long as he was last
time when we wrote notes in class...

**James**

You got it.

**Lily**

That’s mean!

**James**

What’s mean?

**Lily**

What you’re doing to Peter!

**James**

I don’t see it as mean...I see it as...

**Sirius**

Healthy.

**James**

Yeah! Healthy for Peter...

**Peter**

Nice save.

**James**

Thank you.

**Peter**

You’re quite welcome.

**Lily**

Aren’t we a little off subject?

**Sirius**

Was there ever a subject?

**James**

You know, I’m not quite sure...how long ago did we start to write note in class?

**Peter**

Uh...first minute of the first hour of the first day of the first year.

**Sirius**

That’s oddly specific.

**James**

So...that would make...a little over 300 pages of notes, back and front?

**Lily**

You counted?!

**Sirius**

Yeah, that sounds about right...

**Lily**

Are you three even listening to me?

**James**

Hand me those old notes.

**Sirius**

Hmmm...forgery...

**Peter**

Blackmailing...

**Virginia**

Huh?

**Lily**

Don’t ask...

**Peter**

Uh...why were we talking about dying our hair bright yellow in second year?

**James**

Because we were stupid.

**Sirius**

But, James...we’re stupid now.

**Virginia**

What are they doing?

**Lily**

VIRGINIA!! HELP ME KILL THEM!!

**Virginia**

Are they ignoring you again?

**Lily**

**Virginia**

I’ll take that as a yes.

**Lily**

I just don’t understand men...

**Virginia**

I know! One day you’re totally and completely in love with one and then the next you learn that
he’s keeping secrets from you, like him being a...a...

**Lily**

A werewolf?

**Virginia**

...yeah...

**(Now where did Harry, Ron, and Hermione get to...?)**

**Ron**

Sweetie, I-

**Hermione**

What?

**Harry**

Sweetie?

**Ron**

Huh? What are you two going on about?

**Harry**

You just called Hermione “Sweetie”

**Ron**

Yeah, so?

**Hermione**

Does this mean that I get to call you “sugar-pie-honeybun” now?

**Ron**

NO!

**Hermione**

That’s not fair, then!

**Ron**

Harry, help me...

**Harry**

Hey, you were the one who called her sweetie...

**Ron**

But that’s because I’m stupid and a red-head...

**Harry**

Well, so is Ginny, but you don’t see her complaining about being stupid.

**Ginny**

I think I’ll choose to ignore that.

**Hermione**

Whoa! Where did you come from?

**Ginny**

That one time that I actually join in on you three’s unsocial conversations and I come to find
out that all you do is spite me...

**Harry**

No! That’s not how it was supposed to come out!

**Ron**

Sure, Harry...go suck up to her and make her fall in love with you more.

**Ginny**

Hey! I don’t love him! Well, not like that anyway...

**Ron**

Oh, sure...that’s why you have every newspaper clipping of him from every article ever written
in Witch Weekly, the Quibbler, and various other newspapers all on your wall.

**Ginny**

I do not!

**Hermione**

Aren’t we drifting a bit off?

**Ron**

Not to mention all the posters that you created of him that you have up there too!

**Ginny**

Stop it!! You’re wrong!!

**Harry**

Uh...

**Hermione**

RON! You’re making her cry!!

**Ron**

Ginny...I’m sorry...

**Ginny**

I have to go...

**Hermione**

Look what you did!

**Harry**

Personally, I don’t really mind.

**Hermione**

Harry!

**Harry**

Well, do you want the girl who would stalk you if she got the chance around you?!

**Hermione**

No...I already have the boy who stalks me around me...

**Ron**

Hey!

**Hermione**

No, dear, that was a good thing.

**Ron**

How is that a good thing?

**Hermione**

I want you to stalk me.

**Ron**

Huh?...OH!...hehehe...

**Harry**

Ewewewewewewewewewew!! I didn’t hear that...I didn’t hear that...I didn’t hear that...

**Ron**

I think you scarred him for life...

**Hermione**

Again? He’s so sensitive...

**Harry**

Yeah, well...you weren’t up all night from listening to you two...mingle...in the bed right next
to mine...

**Hermione**

See...I told you the room of requirement would have worked better!

**Ron**

Blah blah blah...

**Harry**

I think I might throw up...

**Ron**

I know why you’re taking this so hard, Harry.

**Harry**

And why is that?

**Ron**

Because you don’t have anyone to mingle with for yourself!

**Harry**

I don’t know why but that sounded wrong for some reason...

**Hermione**

How about Pavarti?

**Harry**

Already tried...Yule ball, remember?

**Ron**

Oh, yeah...that’s when I realized that I was in love with Hermione.

**Hermione**

Ahh! Ron...that’s so sweet!

**Harry**

I thought that we were talking about me, right?

**Ron**

Oh right.

**Hermione**

Uh...what about Lavender?

**Harry**

Drinking problem.

**Ron**

Drinking problem?

**Harry**

Yeah...she has too many butterbeers and...well...last time she was standing on the table and
singing dirty songs.

**Hermione**

But butterbeers are non-alcoholic.

**Harry**

Not with Lavender.

**Ron**

Have you gone out with Emily?

**Harry**

Let’s not talk about that one...k?

**Hermione**

Amanda?

**Harry**

Fancies Draco and BIT too much...

**Ron**

Jasmine?

**Harry**

Laughter gives me a headache...

**Hermione**

Sara?

**Harry**

No.

**Ron**

Melissa?

**Harry**

No.

**Hermione**

Uh...Fiona?

**Harry**

No.

**Ron**

Alyssa?

**Harry**

No.

**Hermione**

Draco?

**Harry**

EWW!

**Ron**

Snape?

**Harry**

Now you’re just getting gross.

**Ron**

But that’s what makes it so much fun!

**Harry**

I’m never coming here again...

**Hermione**

Why? You love The Three Broomsticks!

**Harry**

That’s not the reason...

**Ron**

Bye!

**Hermione**

Bye!!

**Ron**

Now what can we do when Harry’s not here?

**Hermione**

I think I have an idea...

**(Isn’t this fun- switching back and forth like this? Hehehe...)**

**Sirius**

Well, I suppose that this is supposed to be the end...

**James**

What?

**Remus**

Why would you say that?

**Sirius**

Everything’s wrapping up! The author is starting to submit it to the web site! What else do you
call it?

**James**

You can communicate with the author?

**Peter**

The person who tells us what to say and write?

**Sirius**

Uh...yeah...sure...why not?

**James**

Awesome!

**Remus**

How?

**Sirius**

Who’s the author again?

**James**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

OUCH!! OK, THAT ONE HURT!!

**Remus**

Not another fight...

**Peter**

Isn’t this getting a bit old?

**James**

The author told you to say that...

**Remus**

Yeah, but that’s beside the point.

**James**

And that.

**Remus**

James...

**James**

And that.

**Peter**

Remus, you already have a bruise...you don’t need to make it worse...

**Sirius**

You know...it was the author’s fault that I’m stupid.

**Remus**

**James**

**Peter**

**Sirius**

What?

**Remus**

Quick- say something!

**James**

Sirius...I have some startling news for you...

**Sirius**

Oh no! Is it my cat, Betsy?!

**Peter**

Uh...no...

**James**

It’s something more unsettling than that sad fact.

**Sirius**

What’s going on here?

**Remus**

Don’t give me that look; James is the one who’s telling you!

**Sirius**

James...?

**James**

Sirius...you’re seriously stupid...

**Sirius**

I know! That stinking author made it that way!

**James**

...without the author’s help...

**Sirius**

Wha....?

**Emmablk1**

Yeah!! It’s not my fault!!

**Remus**

Whoa! Where did you come from?!

**Emmablk1**

Uh...I’m gonna go now...

**Peter**

Who was she?

**Sirius**

The author.

**James**

How many times must we tell you that?

**Remus**

James, it’s actually traditional to say that after he’s asked twice.

**James**

Oh. Ok.

**Peter**

Are we done yet?

**Emmablk1**

Nope...it’s traditional that Sirius makes his stomach talk first.

**Peter**

There she is again!

**Sirius**

Oh yeah!!

**James**

No!! anything but that!!

**Peter**

Yeah!! I like this part...

**Remus**

Please, I’m begging you!! Don’t let him-

**Sirius**

**There was a farmer who had a dog and Sirius was his name-o...**

**James**

Why do you insist on torturing us?!

**Emmablk1**

It’s not my choice; Sirius is the one who controls my brain!

**Sirius**

**S-I-R-I-S...uh...U-S...uh...**

**Remus**

That explains a lot...

**Peter**

Did he forget how to spell his name again?

**Emmablk1**

Looks like it...

**James**

That’s it...I’m leaving...

**Remus**

Me too...

**Peter**

Me three...

**Emmablk1**

Me four...

**James**

Hey, you can’t leave-you’re the author!

**Emmablk1**

Watch me.

**Sirius**

**Hey, where’d everyone go?!**

**Sirius**

**Hello?**

**Sirius**

**I don’t know how to write my own lines...emmablk1? James? Remus? Peter?**

**(Now, I couldn’t forget about Harry, Ron, and Hermione this one last time, now could
I?)**

**Harry**

ah...why do we have to end it?

**Emmablk1**

Because I said so.

**Ron**

And you are?

**Emmablk1**

The author, of course.

**Harry**

But I don’t want to.

**Ron**

Yeah, I’m too lazy...

**Hermione**

I want to go and do my homework...

**Emmablk1**

Fine I’LL end it...

**Emmablk1: September 3, 2004**

**Emmablk1**

Better?

**Ron**

Much.

**Sirius**

**Someone feed me!!**

**Harry**

Sirius?

**Hermione**

What are you doing here?

**Ron**

Yeah, this is our time period!

**Harry**

And you died already, remember?

**Emmablk1**

But I’m in denial, so he can be here, technically.

**Sirius**

Besides, I’m in your head.

**Emmablk1**

He’s like a parasite that won’t leave.

**Hermione**

Actually, parasites don’t leave their hosts until they die.

**Sirius**

Yeah!!

**Emmablk1**

No!! why did you say that?!

**Hermione**

Whoops...sorry.

**Emmablk1**

I’m doomed forever...

**Harry**

So long!

**Emmablk1**

And remember-I’m selling Sirius for free!

**Ron**

That may sound like a good deal, but trust me, he get really annoying.

**Siruis**

Hey!

**Hermione**

So long!

**Sirius**

**Bring back food next time!**

**Emmablk1: September 3, 2004**

i really hope that you people enjoyed that. now, there's a little matter of the fact that
there's this little purple button at the bottom of the screen that says REVIEW that you need to
push...SHPW ME THAT I NEED TO WRITE ANOTHER ONE! b/c if i don't get any ideas
soon...well...let's just say that the interruptions dynasty would be over...i think i might cry
if that happens...

emmablk1



4. Part 4
---------

**Interruptions, Part the Fourth**

**A Very Special Fic Written for the Readers**

**By the way...it's 63 pages! You better enjoy this!**

**James**

Padfoot?

**Sirius**

Hmmmm?

**James**

I don’t think I’m ready for this.

**Sirius**

Refghy phergh whght?

**Remus**

Sirius, will you stop hogging all my Honeydukes Chocolate!

**Sirius**

Sorry…you should know by now that anything that you put in front of my face I’ll eat.

**Remus**

I think I know that all too well, thank you.

**James**

Are either of you even listening to me!

**Sirius**

Oh, were you speaking? It’s kind of hard to hear your voice now that I’ve trained myself to be
able to block you out.

**James**

Moony?

**Remus**

Yeah?

**James**

Hit him.

**Sirius**

OUCH! YOU’VE GOT MOONY DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK FOR YOU! That’s pathetic, James.

**James**

If you really want me to hit you, I will.

**Sirius**

That’s ok…I’m kind of getting used to the fact that Moony’s a wimp and can barely punch…

**Remus**

Ha. Ha.

**James**

I’m not in the mood for your jokes, Sirius.

**Sirius**

That’s funny, because you were earlier…

**Remus**

How much earlier?

**Sirius**

About…oh…fifteen years…

**James**

Sirius…

**Remus**

Wow…he really is serious…

**Sirius**

I didn’t think it was possible.

**Remus**

What’s the problem, James?

**James**

Wait, where’s Peter?

**Remus**

He said something about coming later.

**Sirius**

He’s been doing that more often lately.

**James**

Yeah, but to miss my…my…

**Sirius**

You are able to say the word, you know.

**Remus**

Come on, Jamesie-Poo…

**James**

My…sigh…marriage.

**Remus**

Well, it took you and Lily long enough.

**Sirius**

Sorry, it still makes me want to throw up.

**James**

Right now I think…no…I know I’m gonna throw up.

**Sirius**

Perfect.

**Remus**

Perfect?

**Sirius**

Yeah. I mean, it does make sense.

**James**

Because our minds are so in synch that you know when I’m about to puke?

**Sirius**

Uh…no.

**Remus**

Thank goodness.

**Sirius**

Don’t you remember? Prongs, you were like this the day you saw Lily!

**Remus**

I remember that!

**James**

…

**Sirius**

JAMES!

**James**

What!

**Remus**

Don’t tell me you can’t remember!

**James**

Ok, I won’t.

**Sirius**

Isn’t written somewhere in your vows that you’d never forget the day that you met each
other?

**James**

I actually…kinda…blocked the memory out.

**Remus**

Why?

**Sirius**

Oh, wait…HAHA! It’s because she scorned you, isn’t it?

**Remus**

Define scorned.

**Sirius**

James, would you do the honors?

**James**

She…put me in the leglocker curse, pushed me into the lake, and then froze the lake so that I
couldn’t get out.

**Remus**

…

**Sirius**

That was the best day of my life.

**James**

I would expect nothing less from the likes of you.

**Remus**

Hey, wasn’t that also the first day that we started to write our notes during class?

**James**

Ah…to be young and have the attention span of a flea.

**Sirius**

That was the day, alright, but I think all Jamesie-Poo remembers is the fact that he was rescued
by the astronomy professor who had a crush on him.

**James**

Why do you insist on giving me nightmares for the rest of my life? And don’t call me
Jamesie-Poo.

**Sirius**

It’s just a hobby, Boo Boo Bear.

**Remus**

I’m just glad my life isn’t as embarrassing as Prongs’.

**James**

Ha. Ha.

**Sirius**

Well, I thought it was funny.

**James**

Yeah, but you’re going to die in about five seconds, so it doesn’t matter anyway, now does
it?

**Sirius**

See? Doesn’t this help you to stop thinking about your wedding?

**Flash-back!**

**November 6, 1976(?)**

**Sirius**

Well, it’s finally happened. We were dreading this day, but…I guess time makes fools of us
all.

**Peter**

Uh oh.

**Remus**

What happened, Sirius?

**Sirius**

Are you sure that you really want to hear this? Are you sure that you can handle all the sick,
disgusting details in miniscule information?

**Remus**

Not anymore.

**Peter**

I think I might hyperventilate if you don’t tell soon.

**Sirius**

You know when you’re about to hyperventilate?

**Peter**

It’s a gift…I think…

**Remus**

So what’s the news?

**Sirius**

James is in love.

**Peter**

Oh.

**Sirius**

Doesn’t it make you sick!

**Remus**

With Lily, right?

**Sirius**

How did you know that?

**Remus**

1. He stares at her in the great hall, in class, in the common room…actually, now that I think
about it, he stares at her no matter where we are or if she’s even in the room!

**Sirius**

I’m gonna pretended that I can even understand that sentence.

**Peter**

Is that it?

**Sirius**

Of course not! Would I ever come to you with big news and not have something else equally
shocking to tell too?

**Remus**

Yes.

**Sirius**

Huh?

**Remus**

By now we’ve learned that most of the time your stories either have no meaning or moral or you
just tell them to hear your own voice.

**Sirius**

Wow. I didn’t think I was so easy to figure out.

**Peter**

You are.

**Sirius**

Anyways, guess where James is right at this very moment?

**Peter**

Singing karaoke?

**Remus**

…

**Sirius**

…

**Remus**

I’m thinking that’s a no?

**Sirius**

Here’s a hint: he’s somewhere he can’t breathe.

**Peter**

I’m all out of ideas.

**Sirius**

That was funny on so many different levels that I can’t pick which one to laugh at first.

**Remus**

James is under the frozen lake, isn’t he?

**Sirius**

How’d you know that?

**Remus**

Saw it through the window. I also know that Lily Evans did it.

**Sirius**

HA! But, I bet you don’t know James’ **BIG** secret! MWHAHAHAHA!

**Remus**

The fact that he’s in love with Lily? Sirius, we just went over that.

**Sirius**

…I hate you…

**Remus**

I know.

**Peter**

Uh…is James’ face supposed to be red after being in a frozen lake?

**Remus**

I don’t know, why?

**Peter**

Because he’s coming this way.

**Sirius**

Hide me.

**James**

WHERE IS HE?

**Peter**

Who?

**James**

I’m gonna kill him. And Remus, so help me Merlin, if you even THINK about hiding him, you’re
going down with him.

**Sirius**

Out of curiosity James, who was it that rescued you?

**Remus**

The astronomy professor?

**Sirius**

Ding, Ding, Ding! And the winner is….Remus Lupin!

**James**

Shut up.

**Peter**

Did she invite you up to the astronomy tower?

**James**

Sirius, you’ve corrupted him!

**Sirius**

How?

**James**

Oh come one! We all know that he would never act this way if your stupidness hadn’t sunk into
his brain.

**Sirius**

You can come up with a better reason than that, James.

**James**

No. it’s definitely you.

**Sirius**

And everything is instantly my fault…

**James**

Yes.

**Remus**

Yes.

**Peter**

Yes.

**Remus**

Well, you WERE the one who made James go over and talk to Lily.

**Sirius**

There’s just one thing I want to know before I die, James: how in the world does Remus know
everything!

**Remus**

It’s a gift.

**Flash-forward!**

**Sirius**

And here we are today, still writing in notes, even though we could just be talking instead.

**James**

We’re pathetic.

**Remus**

So, are you ready?

**Sirius**

Ready for what?

**Remus**

The ceremony starts in twenty minutes.

**Sirius**

Ready for what?

**Remus**

You don’t look ready.

**Sirius**

READY FOR WHAT?

**Remus**

James, straighten up your shirt.

**Sirius**

See, this is what’s known as ‘ignoring-the-dog’ and I want you to know, Moony, that it has
repercussions…

**James**

What are you going to do- pee on him?

**Sirius**

I’ll figure something out.

**James**

Oh, so you’re going to poop on him.

**Sirius**

Will you just shut up?

**Remus**

It’s hard to make him stop.

**Sirius**

James, if you say one more thing, I swear that you’ll be walking out there with your lips sewn
together…

**James**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

OUCH!

**James**

Better now?

**Sirius**

Ok…ok…I’ll just sit in the corner…

**Remus**

That’s amazing. Teach me?

**James**

It’s all in the way that you hit him-

**Sirius**

Don’t teach him any tricks!

**James**

So…do you think Lily’s ready?

**Sirius**

I’ll go ask her.

**James**

No! Wait!

**Remus**

You know there’s no stopping him when he gets stupid.

**James**

I don’t think I can breathe…

**Remus**

James….James! OPEN. YOUR. MOUTH!

**James**

Sorry.

**Sirius**

Personally, I think it’s kinda funny when he can’t breathe.

**James**

Shut it.

**Remus**

That was quick.

**Sirius**

Yeah.

**James**

…

**Remus**

…

**James**

What. Did. You. Do?

**Sirius**

Let’s see…I got up, walked out the door, ambled down the hall, opened Lily’s door, didn’t see
anyone, closed the door, got a drink of water, pulled a rabbit out of my hat, walked back down the
hall, opened up our door, sat down, and started writing. Then you asked me what happened, and I
said-

**James**

Wait. What did you just say?

**Sirius**

I got up, walked out th-

**Remus**

He means the part about Lily, Padfoot.

**Sirius**

Uh…that part where she wasn’t in her room?

**James**

She wasn’t there? Well, where was she!

**Sirius**

Well…she wasn’t there, or in the church…

**Remus**

You don’t think that she…

**James**

No! She couldn’t…she…wouldn’t…would she?

**Sirius**

I don’t blame her, I mean if I was marrying you-

**Remus**

Of course not! She probably just left to go buy some…uh…floo powder.

**Sirius**

I really need to teach you how to lie better.

**Remus**

I didn’t know you offered lessons.

**Sirius**

Yes. And they required 25 galleons beforehand, so pay up.

**James**

Weren’t we talking about something more pressing? Hint. Hint. WINK. WINK.

**Sirius**

Don’t wink; it’s disturbing.

**Remus**

What do we do now?

**James**

I’m going to go scream into this couch pillow, then get really drunk.

**Sirius**

Let’s spike the butterbeer!

**Remus**

…

**Sirius**

What? It’s not like you haven’t done it before.

**Remus**

On a dare.

**Sirius**

Same thing.

**Yes, another FLASHBACK!**

**Remus**

No way. I won’t do it.

**James**

Aw, c’mon, Moony!

**Sirius**

Yeah, it’s not hard to spike the butterbeer at the Christmas Ball while no one’s looking.

**James**

Don’t write down the whole plan!

**Sirius**

Right! Like the time when we found a way into the girl’s dorms, snuck up in the middle of the
night, colored all their hair grey, then cut half of it off, stole all their underwear, and
captured their toothpastes?

**James**

What does that have to do with anything?

**Remus**

It was you two who did that?

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

So…reckon that we shouldn’t have sent Wormtail for the alcohol.

**James**

It was probably not the brightest idea we’ve ever had.

**Remus**

Do I really have to go through with this?

**Sirius**

Tell you what- you don’t, but…

**James**

Don’t do anything he says.

**Remus**

I am well aware of his evilness.

**James**

Sometimes ignorance isn’t always that problem.

**Sirius**

BUT…you have to drink all the alcohol.

**James**

Are you crazy! That stuff is pure poison!

**Sirius**

Well, obviously it would be if we are the ones who drink it.

**Remus**

I’ll do it.

**Sirius**

What!

**James**

What!

**Remus**

As long as I’m only drunk in the common room.

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Remus**

Swear it.

**Sirius**

Let’s just say that when we’re through with you, it’ll be a night to remember.

**James**

Also, let’s say 10 to 1 Virginia will dump his sorry butt.

**Sirius**

Yes, let’s.

**Flash-forward!**

**Sirius**

That was the best Christmas Ball ever. Period.

**Remus**

No it wasn’t! You guys got me drunk then took me out on the dance floor.

**James**

Oh yeah…didn’t you dance with every girl in the place?

**Sirius**

And all the guys. THAT is personally imprinted in my mind for forever.

**James**

Why did we start reminiscing about that again?

**Peter**

You’re all here!

**Remus**

You’re surprised that we’re all here for James’ wedding?

**Sirius**

The wedding of the century?

**James**

What exactly makes it the wedding of the century?

**Sirius**

The fact that I spiked the punch.

**James**

Oh.

**Peter**

No, I’m surprised that James isn’t at the alter…with Lily?

**James**

What!

**Remus**

What time is it?

**Peter**

Why are all the clocks set backwards?

**James**

I’m thirty minutes late for my own wedding!

**Sirius**

Actually…you’re 45 minutes late.

**James**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Peter**

He looks like a chicken with its head cut off…

**Sirius**

Hand me one of those disposable cameras.

**Remus**

Too late. He’s already out the door.

**Sirius**

Isn’t that sweet?

**Peter**

Young love?

**Sirius**

No, the fact that Lily’s first memory of her wedding will be James screaming and running into
the church.

**Remus**

Those poor muggles.

**Peter**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

Sigh.

**Remus**

Sigh.

**Peter**

Hey…aren’t we supposed to be in there, too?

**Sirius**

Since when did Peter get so smart?

**Remus**

Must’ve been the punch.

**Sirius**

Either that or someone dropped him again.

**Emmablk1**

Uh…guys?

**Sirius**

Yes, dear?

**Emmablk1**

Don’t call me that.

**Remus**

What’s the matter?

**Emmablk1**

The fic can’t stop until you go to the wedding.

**Sirius**

It’s stopping already!

**Peter**

It can’t have even been 30 pages yet, let alone the 60 you promised.

**Emmablk1**

What did you give him to make him so smart? I never write him this way!

**Remus**

It had to be the punch.

**Emmablk1**

Anyway…you guys have to shut it so that I can get on with the special features part of the
fic.

**Peter**

Fun! Are we in it!

**Sirius**

That’s the Peter we all know and lov…I mean…like.

**Emmablk1**

No, Peter. It’s about the average wingspan and velocity of swallows.

**Peter**

African or European swallows?

**Emmablk1**

Shut up.

**Peter**

Oh. I’ll go get popcorn.

**Emmablk1**

Well…that’s one way to get rid of him.

**Sirius**

Someone write it down.

**Remus**

Now if we could only find a way to get rid of Sirius.

**Emmablk1**

You’re the smart one; selling him didn’t work- I never got a money amount.

**Sirius**

This is insulting.

**James**

What’s going on? Isn’t the fic supposed to be over by now?

**Lily**

We’ve been waiting for forever!

**Emmablk1**

waving frantically Hi Lily!

**Lily**

Hi Emmablk1!

**Sirius**

Girls…

**Emmablk1**

Excuse me?

**Lily**

What did you just say?

**Sirius**

James…help me…they’re both gaining up on me…!

**James**

You got yourself into this mess.

**Remus**

Five galleons that he doesn’t make it out alive.

**James**

You’re on.

**Sirius**

Hey!

**Lily**

If I wasn’t allowed to complain about being betted on, you aren’t.

**Emmablk1**

You’re going over your time limit.

**Sirius**

So?

**Remus**

What happens if we do?

**Emmablk1**

You don’t get paid.

**Sirius**

I’m shutting up.

**James**

Ditto.

**Remus**

I wasn’t even talking.

**Lily**

Me either.

**Emmablk1**

When I said be quiet, I meant everyone.

**Remus**

But…we’re

**Lily**

Your favorites!

**Sirius**

I thought I was your favorite!

**Emmablk1**

ENOUGH! This is IDIOTIC!

**Lily**

…

**James**

…

**Remus**

…

**Sirius**

…

**Emmablk1**

I’m starting the bloopers now…

**Sirius**

Can we have popcorn?

**James**

Shh!

**Remus**

Shh!

**Lily**

Shh!

**Emmablk1**

Here’s some toffees. Enjoy yourselves.

**James**

I don’t even want to know where she got those.

**Emmablk1**

Shut it.

**Bloopers! (Funness!) And Random Quotes!**

**Romance:**

**James**

On screen Lily…I have something very important to ask you.

**Lily**

Yes?

**James**

I don’t quite know how you’re going to respond to this and it might affect our relationship
forever.

**Lily**

We’ve been dating for half a year, James. Nothing you could do can surprise me.

**James**

Ok…here goes…Lily…my beautiful darling girlfriend…will you…will you…do me the honor and the
pleasure…

**Lily**

Yes James?

**James**

…Of doing my laundry?

**Emmablk1**

CUT!

**Sirius**

That was a horrible blooper.

**James**

I couldn’t remember the line!

**Lily**

The line was ‘Will you marry me?’, you twit!

**James**

It was ‘will you marry me you twit’? That seems kinda redundant.

**Remus**

Do you ever know what that word means?

**James**

I could if I wanted to.

**Emmablk1**

Sigh. There’s more.

**Remus**

Oh, great.

**Sirius**

on screen love is a many spendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong; all you need is
love!

**Insert your name here**

Please don’t start that again.

**Sirius**

All you need is love!

**Insert your name here**

A girl’s got to eat!

**Sirius**

All you need is love…and food.

**Emmablk1**

This is where the idea began to go downhill. And also where Sirius stopped trying to sing.

**Insert your name here**

Or she’ll end up on the street!

**Sirius**

All you need is love…and food…and housing…

**Insert your name here**

Sirius! You’re ruining it!

**Sirius**

I am not! I’m just doing a little…improvisation.

**Emmablk1**

CUT!

**James**

Why we ever tried to do musicals, I’ll never know.

**Remus**

No, why we tried to do musicals with Sirius as the leads is a mystery.

**Emmablk1**

Yes…as you can see…the boys and I had different ideas about how to write this…and the best one
won, obviously.

**Sirius**

My idea was better.

**Lily**

Sirius…making the story a Scottish opera didn’t work. At all.

**Sirius**

Hey! Give it some credit.

**James**

Right. Rodgers and Hammerstein did a fine job on the lyrics.

**Remus**

Even though none of us can sing.

**Emmablk1**

Ahem…

**Lily**

You’re the author- you don’t count.

**Sirius**

Ok, we’ve seen James’ romance catastrophes…what about Remus’?

**James**

We’ve seen your catastrophes too, Padfoot.

**Sirius**

I don’t have catastrophes. I have misadventures.

**Remus**

Uh…I think all I have are rejections…

**Lily**

Aww! Remus is making me cry!

**Emmablk1**

Well, then it’s a good thing we have a clip show of all the rejections!

**Remus**

How is that a good thing?

**James**

You’re heartless.

**Sirius**

Sorry. I rub off on her.

**Everyone except Sirius**

We know.

**Emmablk1**

Roll the clip! Hehe! I’ve always wanted to say that.

**Sirius**

on screen presenting…! Sirius Lee Black’s official Best Pick-up lines of the decade!

**James**

Huh?

**Remus**

What’s this?

**Sirius**

Whoops. Was that what that tape was?

**James**

You taped over it with pick-up lines?

**Sirius**

Hey! Those are the best pick-up lines of the decade!

**Lily**

Who did you try these out on so that you knew they were the best?

**Sirius**

…

**Sirius**

Movie hey, babe…were you always this cute, or do you have to work at it?

**Sirius**

I tried them out on Snape. The angrier he got, the better the lines were.

**James**

And you didn’t invite me!

**Peter**

Hey guys, what’d I miss?

**Sirius**

movie Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

**Peter**

Never mind. I don’t want to know.

**Sirius**

I’ll have you know that these lines are guaranteed to score.

**James**

Yeah. With Snape.

**Sirius**

Movie Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

**Remus**

Please turn it off before I puke.

**Emmablk1**

I was ready for the next topic, anyway.

**Deleted Scenes:**

**James**

Some of these were not my idea. In fact, all of these were not my idea.

**Lily**

Why’d you go along with them, then?

**James**

The cash.

**Lily**

And what exactly do you need cash for, James?

**Sirius**

Dungbombs.

**Lily**

What?

**James**

He means…jewelry…to buy for you.

**Sirius**

No, I mean dungbombs. You know, the small round things that you light with your wand and they
are able to stink up the entire room before you can say ‘Locomotor mortis’?

**James**

Sirius there is a thing called duct tape and it’s on your mouth. Its invisible, but it’s
there.

**Lily**

I think I’ve lost all faith in him.

**Sirius**

I never had any faith in him to begin with.

**James**

Grrr…

**Sirius**

OUCH! I give! I give! Just joking! Just joking!

**Emmablk1**

Actually, some of these scenes aren’t just ones that we cut out.

**Peter**

What are they?

**Emmablk1**

They’re ones that I caught on my super secret hidden camera!

**Remus**

You did what now!

**Emmablk1**

*I* didn’t do anything. You guys did all this on your own.

**James**

Wait. Do you mean the camera we found hidden in the fireplace?

**Emmablk1**

Uh…

**Lily**

And the one in the quidditch pitch?

**Emmablk1**

Er…

**Sirius**

And the one in the girl’s quidditch showers?

**Remus**

What!

**James**

What!

**Peter**

What!

**Lily**

What!

**Emmablk1**

What!

**Sirius**

Oh sorry. That one’s mine.

**Lily**

That’s it. From now on I’m showering with a bathing suit on.

**Emmablk1**

ANYWAY…I think the people would like to see how the marauders really behave in their spare
time…

**Peter**

Roll the clip!

**Unknown Voice**

On screen Girls just want to have fun, now. Oh! Girls just want to have fun!

**James**

The screen’s black.

**Sirius**

Hey! I can’t see who’s about to get teased for the rest of his life!

**Peter**

Oh. Sorry. My hand was covering it.

**Everyone except Remus**

REMUS?

**Remus**

What? Can’t a guy sing in his own spare time?

**James**

Yes, a guy can sing in his spare time.

**Sirius**

Just another song…like…uh…

**James**

Don’t look at me.

**Sirius**

Like…a country balled.

**Peter**

A balled?

**Remus**

Country?

**Sirius**

Give me a break! You’re the ones who put me on the spot!

**Emmablk1**

And ‘My Achy Breaky Heart’ is a very manly song to sing.

**James**

Huh?

**Lily and Remus**

Muggle country.

**James**

Oh.

**Sirius**

You mean the songs that always talk about how he loses the girl and he drinks away his
sorrows?

**Emmablk1**

Basically.

**Sirius**

Suddenly I have some sort of craving for spiked butterbeer.

**Peter**

Hey, I found some more scenes!

**James**

Fabulous.

**Sirius**

On Screen Surrender, little one, or you shall never see the light of day again! MWHAHAHA! Say
goodbye!

**Lily**

Uh…Sirius…is that my teddy bear?

**Remus**

How’d you get into the girl’s dorms?

**Sirius**

Uh…er…that is to say…uh…

**Emmablk1**

Calm down. He was probably just deprived as a child.

**Sirius**

Exactly. What?

**Emmablk1**

You heard me.

**Remus**

Hey look! We made it to 30 pages!

**James**

We should celebrate.

**Emmablk1**

Ladies, and oddly enough, gentlemen, we’re going to be taking a short intermission now.

**Lily**

Don’t worry, though.

**Sirius**

We’ll leave you something to entertain yourselves.

**Peter**

What would that be?

**Sirius**

I dunno know.

complete silence

**Emmablk1**

Hurry…put this tape in before they leave for good!

Sounds of a VCR being turned on and used

Movie starts

**Sam**

Frodo, I can’t carry the ring, but I can carry you.

Music swells up as Sam carries him up the mountain

**Sam**

We’re almost there, Mister Frodo!

**James**

Wait. What is this?

**Remus**

*Whose* is this?

**Emmablk1**

Hahaheh…oh…uh…that would be mine…

**Sirius**

What are you thinking, putting something like that in?

**Emmablk1**

I’m thinking that I could satisfy my Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings fetishes in one go.

**Lily**

What’s Harry Potter?

**James**

And why does he have my last name?

**Emmblk1**

Oops. Just forget I said that.

**Peter**

Weren’t we supposed to have some sort of intermission going on?

**Sirius**

Oh yeah.

**Intermission!**

**Announcer**

A public service announcement from the Marauders.

**James**

Don’t drink and drive. Ever.

**Sirius**

I think that’s good enough.

**Peter**

When’s break?

**Director**

CUT! Do it again.

**Take 2.**

**Sirius**

Hi! We’re the beloved guys that you all know and love and we’re here today to talk to you about
drugs.

**James**

That’s right, Padfoot.

**Remus**

Drugs are bad. I would never suggest doing them.

**Sirius**

Unless, of course, you use them to make the Slytherins look stupid.

**James**

Like putting sleeping powder into their goblets!

**Peter**

Or leaving gillyweed around to trick them into eating it!

**Sirius**

Or sneaking into their common room at night and spraying the entire place with pus.

**James**

What does that have to do with using drugs?

**Sirius**

I dunno. It was just fun whenever we did it.

**Remus**

True.

**Sirius**

The point is drugs make you stupid.

**James**

And in the Slytherin’s case, it makes you even stupider.

**Remus**

I don’t think that’s a word, Prongs.

**James**

Shh! We’re filming!

**Director**

Sigh. Take 3.

five hours later

**Remus**

If you’re watching this commercial, that probably means that you’re on drugs or drinking.

**Sirius**

By the way, it’s bad for you.

**Peter**

Thank you and good night.

**End of Intermission**

**James**

I’m never doing another PSA again.

**Peter**

I thought it was fun.

**James**

Only because there were donuts on set.

**Sirius**

Yeah. I still have nightmares.

**Peter**

You mean about the donuts?

**Sirius**

I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

**Remus**

Why are we talking about donuts again?

**James**

I’m not sure…Sirius, do you want to fill this one?

**Sirius**

Not really.

**Peter**

Hey, Lily?

**Lily**

What?

**Peter**

Do you still have that mood ring that James gave you?

**Lily**

…

**Remus**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

…

**Peter**

What? Did I do something wrong?

**James**

Wormtail…sometimes I think it’s better if you just stay quiet.

**Sirius**

Yeah, it gives you time to actually use your brain.

**Remus**

Does he actually have one of those things?

**Lily**

I have no earthly idea.

**Peter**

Hey! Let’s go spike the butterbeer again!

**Lily**

You know, there once was a time when no one would spike the butterbeer.

**Sirius**

Say it ain’t so!

**James**

Sigh.

**Emmablk1**

Ahem.

**Remus**

So…what to do…what to do…

**Emmablk1**

Ahem.

**Sirius**

We could just repeat ‘what to do’ over and over again.

**James**

Why?

**Emmablk1**

Ahem.

**Sirius**

For easy entertainment.

**Emmablk1**

AHEM!

**Peter**

What is that annoying sound!

**Emmablk1**

IT’S ME, YOU IDIOTS!

**Sirius**

Oh yeah…you’re still here?

**Lily**

How rude!

**Sirius**

I’m sorry; did I not make it clear that you are not entitled to your own opinion?

**James**

Wait, who was that directed to?

**Sirius**

I donno.

**Emmablk1**

This has taken a sudden, disturbing turn.

**Remus**

I’m under the impression that we’ve turned so much that we’re now facing backwards.

**Sirius**

Huh?

**Remus**

Don’t try to understand, Padfoot; your brain might explode.

**Peter**

Weren’t we supposed to be doing something important?

**Lily**

Hmmm…good question.

**Emmablk1**

I think it’s time we end it.

**James**

End it!

**Peter**

But why?

**Emmablk1**

I should think that is plainly obvious.

**Sirius**

Because Peter suddenly joined the cast again?

**Remus**

Sigh. We are still allowed to hit him very hard, aren’t we?

**Emmablk1**

It’s in his contract.

**James**

Good.

**Sirius**

OUCH!

**Remus**

You know what?

**Peter**

What?

**Remus**

I think that is kinda takes away to boringness if we all keep hitting him.

**James**

That’s the best thing that I’ve heard all day.

**Emmablk1**

Hey, hey! If you over-exert him, then when he passes out, it won’t be any fun anymore.

**Lily**

Good point.

**Sirius**

Somebody…anybody…why is it always the dog…?

**James**

You’re the one who always wants to be the center of attention.

**Sirius**

No, that’s you.

**James**

Is not!

**Sirius**

Is too!

**James**

Is not!

**Sirius**

Is too!

**Emmablk1**

They never shut up.

**Lily**

But banging your head against the table is better than any medication.

**Remus**

I know what we can do!

**James**

What might that be?

**Remus**

Truth or dare; Wizarding Style!

**Peter**

What’s the difference between that and the muggle truth or dare?

**Remus**

Because if you don’t complete a dare or answer a truth, you get a hex put on you.

**Sirius**

Hehehehe…MWHAHAHAHA!

**Lily**

Uh oh…

**Emmablk1**

I don’t like the sound of that laugh.

**James**

This is bringing back some rather unpleasant memories.

**Peter**

Like the time when you had two noses.

**Remus**

And you caught a cold and starting sneezing out of both noses?

**James**

Why are we bringing that up?

**Emmablk1**

‘Cause it’s fun.

**Peter**

Who’s going first?

**Lily**

Um…Sirius!

**Sirius**

Why is it always me!

**Remus**

Let me count the whys…you’re the dog, you’re the easiest to pick on next to Peter, you come up
with really good dares, you’re a terrible lier…

**James**

You can stop now.

**Sirius**

You know, dog backwards spells god.

**Remus**

Oh yes, and you also have a bloated ego…

**Sirius**

That most likely means that you guys should worship me.

**James**

Keep dreaming, buddy.

**Peter**

I’m not getting down on my hands and knees.

**Emmablk1**

Me either.

**Sirius**

C’mon, think about it! It makes perfect sense!

**Lily**

In what world?

**James**

The demented one in his head.

**Lily**

That one’s scary.

**James**

I know. We try to keep him from returning to it.

**Remus**

That means to stop him from thinking.

**Emmablk1**

Aren’t we supposed to be playing a game of some sort?

**Sirius**

Hey, I’m not dumb!

**Emmablk1**

Hello?

**James**

You’re right.

**Remus**

You’re idiotic.

**James**

No, wait…that’s Peter.

**Emmablk1**

Don’t ignore the author!

**Peter**

Yeah, don’t confuse the two.

**Emmablk1**

I wanna play truth or dare!

**Sirius**

I make good marks on my papers, you know.

**Remus**

We also all cheat off of each other, too.

**James**

Well, mostly off of Remus.

**Sirius**

That’s not the point.

**Lily**

This is ridiculous.

**Emmablk1**

Can’t we ever stay on topic for once?

**Sirius**

Do I have to prove to you guys that I’m really smarter that I look?

**Lily**

I think they’re going to ignore us.

**James**

How would you manage to convince us, O Great One?

**Sirius**

First off, you can keep calling me that.

**Emmablk1**

Maybe we should leave.

**Lily**

Maybe we should.

**James**

See, like I said, an oversized ego.

**Remus**

No, I said that.

**James**

Sorry.

**Lily**

James, don’t confuse him with yourself.

**Emmablk1**

We’re never going to play this game, are we?

**Sirius**

I swear that I’ll prove to you guys that I’m smarter than you give me credit for.

**Lily**

He didn’t listen to me!

**Emmablk1**

I really think we should leave.

**Lily**

Let’s.

**Peter**

And like it’s been stated before, how?

**Sirius**

Uh…

**Remus**

That’s not a very good start.

**Sirius**

Shut up! I’m thinking!

**James**

Uh oh…I thought he was never going to do that again.

**Remus**

We should have stopped him when we had the chance.

**James**

It’s very hazardous to his health.

**Remus**

But since when were we concerned about that?

**Peter**

Hey, where did Lily and Emmablk1 go?

**Remus**

I don’t know. I never heard them leave.

**Sirius**

I’ve got it!

**James**

Got what?

**Sirius**

Darn it, now you made me forget!

**Peter**

Forget what?

**Sirius**

AGHHH! Stop that!

**Remus**

This makes no sense.

**James**

It doesn’t have to make sense; this is Sirius we’re talking about here.

**Sirius**

I told you, I’m smarter than I seem!

**Remus**

I think he’s proving it to us by telling us in different ways that he’s smarter than we think he
is.

**Peter**

That’s confusing.

**James**

Hmm…that’s tricky.

**Sirius**

What’s tricky?

**Remus**

How you’re proving to us that you’re really smart.

**Sirius**

I am? I mean, I am! Wait…how…?

**James**

Never mind, he got side-tracked.

**Remus**

That’s never a good thing.

**Peter**

I thought we were going to play a game.

**James**

I’m surprised that we’ve even gotten this far without realizing that.

**Sirius**

Yeah, well, you’re the one who didn’t realize it when his own girlfriend left.

**James**

Oh yeah? You’re the one without a girlfriend!

**Sirius**

Wow. That was real witty.

**James**

Shut up.

**Sirius**

Make me.

**James**

Ok I will!

**Remus**

…

**Peter**

…

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

Are you just going to stand there all night?

**James**

Suddenly it just occurred to me how many twists and turns that this fic has taken since the
beginning.

**Peter**

I’m confused…

**Remus**

We all are.

**Sirius**

Yeah, weren’t we at James and Lily’s wedding at the beginning?

**Remus**

But then we found out that it was just a plot device to segway into talking about all the stupid
stuff we’ve done.

**James**

Ah…plot devices.

**Remus**

It seems to me that the author really didn’t know where she was going.

**Sirius**

Which is true about her in fact.

**James**

I hope she doesn’t smite us for being mean to her behind her back.

**Peter**

Nah…

**Sirius**

She loves me too much.

**Remus**

I think that calls for an awkward silence.

**James**

Definitely.

**Remus**

…

**James**

…

**Peter**

…

**Sirius**

…

**James**

so…what to do now…

**Peter**

we could beat up Sirius again.

**James**

Nah…that’s lost it’s luster.

**Sirius**

Need I remind you chaps about the dog/god thing?

**James**

No!

**Remus**

No!

**Peter**

No!

**James**

The last thing we need is something extra to inflate your ego more.

**Remus**

Or yours, right Jamesie-Poo?

**James**

What was that!

**Sirius**

Boo Boo Bear?

**James**

Stop that!

**Peter**

Haha…octopus!

**James**

Huh?

**Sirius**

Huh?

**Remus**

Huh?

**Peter**

Oh, sorry…I thought we were randomly calling him things.

**James**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

I do feel sorry for you sometimes, Wormtail.

**James**

Why is that?

**Sirius**

Because he doesn’t have my mind, of course!

**Remus**

Be grateful.

**James**

If only he had that privilege.

**Sirius**

You’re just jealous.

**James**

Right…

**Remus**

You know, maybe we shouldn’t have promised to give them sixty pages.

**James**

Maybe we should stop it right here.

**Peter**

Haha!

**Sirius**

They really thought we were stopping!

**Remus**

They’re so naïve!

**James**

Hey, guess who else is naïve?

**Remus**

Who?

**James**

You!

**Remus**

That wasn’t funny.

**James**

Sirius can’t stop laughing.

**Sirius**

That’s because Sirius is an idiot.

**James**

Point taken.

**Peter**

May I please go home now?

**Sirius**

Yeah, I’ve been here all day…

**Emmablk1**

No.

**James**

Whoa! Where did you come from!

**Emmablk1**

From my mother, where did you think?

**James**

Huh?

**Remus**

Don’t try to think.

**James**

Okay.

**Peter**

Boy, that was easy.

**Sirius**

Now if the same principal could make him shut up…

**James**

Ha, ha.

**Sirius**

You’re right; it was funny.

**Emmablk1**

Anyway…you guys can’t go home now!

**Remus**

Why?

**Emmablk1**

Because I just got on a major sugar rush and I need other people around me to make me look less
stupid.

**Peter**

Really?

**Emmablk1**

No.

**Sirius**

So you really do care about us?

**Emmablk1**

Uh…

**Sirius**

Yah! She loves us, she really loves us!

**Remus**

Suddenly I’m getting the image of Sirius sitting in a field of flowers saying, ‘she loves us,
she loves us not…she loves us, she loves us not…’

**James**

Disturbing, isn’t it?

**Emmablk1**

Stop…hugging…me…

**Peter**

Creepy…

**James**

I hate it when Sirius starts acting all lovey-dovey.

**Remus**

It freaks me out for days.

**Emmblk1**

I need to cleanse myself.

**Remus**

Are you still trying to sell him?

**Emmablk1**

Hmm…what’s the offer?

**Remus**

Hey, I don’t want him!

**Emmablk1**

Just asking.

**James**

This is starting to get a little boring…

**Peter**

Yeah…

**Sirius**

Let’s play strip poker!

**Remus**

That’s a stupid idea.

**James**

Yeah…we don’t have any cards.

**Sirius**

Darn it…

**Emmablk1**

I think we might want to call in some extra help to get the ball rolling again.

**Peter**

Uh oh…who are you talking about?

**Remus**

You’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking…?

**Emmablk1**

That depends on what I think you’re thinking that I’m thinking.

**James**

This is getting really confusing really quickly.

**Remus**

Well…what I think you’re thinking that I’m thinking you’re thinking is that you’re about to call
Jessie, your slightly psychotic friend.

**Emmablk1**

I’m thinking you’re right! And you get the prize! Cue the applause.

**James**

See, this is why Remus is the smart one.

**Sirius**

Remember-

**Peter**

Yes, we know…you’re smart, too.

**Remus**

Please, I’m begging you, I’ll do anything! Just don’t call Jessie!

**Emmblk1**

Hmm…and that would be?

**Remus**

Uh….I’ll…I’ll…clean your room?

**Emmablk1**

Not good enough.

**James**

We’ll do your chores?

**Sirius**

Where did you get the ‘we’ out of that?

**Emmablk1**

Nope.

**Peter**

We’ll do all your homework for a full year!

**Sirius**

That is, Remus and Lily will be doing all your homework for a full year.

**Emmablk1**

Nada. Sorry boys, but I’m afraid I have no choice.

**Peter**

No!

**Remus**

Please don’t torture us like this!

**Emmablk1**

Remus, what are you talking about? You LIKE Jessie, remember?

**Remus**

Oh yeah…

**Sirius**

Dork.

**Remus**

What was that?

**Sirius**

I said fork. As in, I need a fork; where’s my fork!

**Emmablk1**

JESSIE!

**James**

She’s gonna be thrilled that she’s even in this, isn’t she?

**Peter**

Yep.

**Sirius**

Everyone brace yourselves…

**Jessie**

Hello.

**Sirius**

AHHHH! THE TORTURE! THE HUMILIATION! THE DEPRAVATION! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! HOW COULD YOU
BRING HER HERE TO MAKE US SUFFER!

**Jessie**

Sirius…calm down.

**James**

Tone it down a little, Padfoot.

**Remus**

She’s not that bad.

**Jessie**

MWAHAHAHAHA!

**Remus**

I might have said that a little too quickly.

**Emmablk1**

That got the ball rolling!

**James**

Yeah…all the way down a steep hill into what was formerly known as the marauders!

**Jessie**

Oh shush, Jamesie-Poo.

**Peter**

I’m sorry, but I fail to see what makes Jessie so horrible.

**Sirius**

Is it the fact that she has 666 in blood written on her forehead?

**Jessie**

Oh that? I just came back from sea camp.

**James**

A sea camp in hell?

**Jessie**

No…a sea camp in Galveston.

**Emmablk1**

And she didn’t even get it there. I painted it on her forehead before she came in to scare you
guys.

**Sirius**

Well obviously it didn’t work…

**Emmablk1**

Aw…Jessie’s harmless…a little crazy and a little obsessed over Elijah Wood and Orlando Bloom,
but who isn’t these days?

**Jessie**

No, you’re the one who’s obsessed with Elijah Wood.

**Emmablk1**

Oh yeah…

**Peter**

Elijah who?

**Jessie**

Never mind that, let’s just sit down and talk like normal high school kids.

**Jmes**

No way.

**Sirius**

No.

**Emmablk1**

Okay, just what did Jessie do to make you guys so scared of her?

**Sirius**

It’s giving me the shudders even as I think about it…

**James**

Me too…

**Sirius**

You want to tell it, Prongs?

**James**

Alright…let’s see…it was a dark and stormy night…

**Prongs**

No it wasn’t.

**James**

Oh, sorry, it was a bright a cheerful day, but how were we to know of the dangers that lurk
around every corner in Diagon Alley!

**Jessie**

Cut out the dramatics.

**Sirius**

Aw, man!

**Peter**

Keep going.

**James**

Anyway…Sirius and I were walking along peacefully towards Olivander’s to get some repair done on
my wand after someone sat on it.

**Sirius**

James, you were the one who sat on it.

**James**

Thank you, Sirius…

**Sirius**

You’re welcome.

**Remus**

Uh…I don’t think he meant that in a nice way, Sirius.

**Sirius**

Oh.

**Emmablk1**

This is where you’re supposed to say you’re sorry, Siri.

**Sirius**

Don’t call me that.

**James**

Then, out of nowhere…there came a bolt of something that looked like lightening flashing across
the sky, streaking toward us and finally collapsing on top of both of us, giving us concussions and
knocking us out for days.

**Jessie**

Uh…I didn’t do that.

**James**

What do you mean!

**Jessie**

Sirius did that to you a couple of weeks ago.

**Remus**

And you were only out for a couple of minutes.

**Sirius**

Boy, what a memory you have…

**James**

You couldn’t remember, either!

**Sirius**

What difference does that make!

**James**

Grrr…

**Sirius**

OUCH! RESTRAIN HIM! RESTRAIN HIM!

**Jessie**

This is very sad.

**Peter**

This happens all the time.

**Jessie**

That’s very sad, too.

**Remus**

You wanna get some ice cream with Peter and me?

**Emmblk1**

Yeah!

**Jessie**

Besides, sometimes it’s best just to let them fight and let all their energy give out.

**Emmablk1**

Good idea.

**Jessie**

Thanks!

**Emmablk1**

I knew I called you here for a reason.

**Sirius**

WHAT DID YOU CALL MY MOTHER!

**James**

I ONLY CALLED HER WHAT YOU CALLED HER LAST NIGHT!

**Sirius**

Oh yeah…BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN SAY IT!

**James**

YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME I COULD SAY IT!

**Sirius**

SHUT UP!

**James**

NO, YOU!

**Remus**

Sigh.

**Peter**

Sigh.

**Jessie**

Sigh.

**Emmablk1**

Sigh.

**Sirius**

Hey, where’d they go?

**James**

It says here on the note that Remus left us, doofus.

**Sirius**

That’s not the worst thing I’ve been called.

**James**

It was the only thing I could think of.

**Sirius**

They went to go get ice cream!

**James**

Without us!

**Sirius**

Who wouldn’t want us around!

**James**

That does pose some interesting questions…

**Sirius**

Let’s not think about that at the moment, shall we?

**James**

We shall.

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

now what?

**James**

Does Emmablk1 expect us to finish her fic on our own?

**Sirius**

She does know that we’re seriously, not to mention dangerously under-qualified for the job,
right?

**James**

I’m not so sure about that…

**Sirius**

You end it.

**James**

Why me!

**Sirius**

You’re the smarter one!

**James**

You spent an entire ten pages going on about how smart you really are-

**Sirius**

And how nobody appreciates my talents-don’t forget that one.

**James**

And now you’re calling me the smart one!

**Sirius**

Yes…you’re point being?

**James**

You’re absolutely right.

**Sirius**

Well…go ahead…end it.

**James**

Ahem.

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

That’s it!

**James**

No! Hold on a minute.

**Sirius**

I’ll hold on as long as I can, but I don’t think it’ll do much good.

**James**

You’re blocking my concentration!

**Sirius**

Boy, how did I manage to do that?

**James**

Shut up! You’re the one who’s too scared to end it!

**Sirius**

No I’m not!

**James**

Go ahead, then!

**Sirius**

The End. There.

**James**

That doesn’t count.

**Sirius**

What do you mean that doesn’t count? It ended it, right?

**James**

If it ended it, then why are we still talking to each other?

**Sirius**

That’s none of your concern.

**James**

Oh my gosh…

**Sirius**

What?

**James**

You’re giving me a headache again.

**Sirius**

Again? This happens often?

**James**

If I were a muggle, I’d be overdosing on aspirin.

**Sirius**

Not funny.

**Emmablk1**

Guys, you can’t even end a stupid fic right?

**James**

You mean you wanted us to end it?

**Emmablk1**

Well, at the staff meeting you said you wanted more responsibilities, right?

**Sirius**

Oh yeah…

**Emmablk1**

Then do it correctly!

**Sirius**

Ok!

**James**

On behalf of the entire Marauders and their staff-

**Sirius**

We wish to wish a merry Christmas!

**James**

Wrong holiday.

**Sirius**

I mean…a lovely fourth of July!

**Emmablk1**

That one’s already passed!

**James**

And it’s an American Muggle holiday!

**Sirius**

Uh…Happy…End of the Fic?

**Emmablk1**

Good enough.

**James**

And have a happy new year!

**Emmablk1**

Do you know the words to the muggle song ‘deck the halls’?

**James**

No.

**Emmablk1**

Then make it up as you go!

**The entire cast**

Deck the halls with lots of dumgbombs!

Falalalala, lalalala!

‘Tis the season to smell stinky!

Falalalala, lalalala!

Don’t follow me as I set them off!

Falalala, lalala, lalala!

Or we’ll get punished and get kicked off! (the Quidditch team, that is…)

Falalalala, lalalala!

**Emmblk1**

Remind me never to sing with you guys again.

**Remus**

Or at least to not try harmony.

**Peter**

Or make up a song as you go.

**Lily**

Yeah that really stunk.

**Emmablk1**

Sigh.

**Emmablk1:** **July 23, 2005**

**11:25 pm**



5. Part 5
---------

**Introducing…**

**The Amazing…(because I didn’t ever think I’d make this)**

**The Talented…(no, not the fic; the characters)**

**The Miraculous…(because, as I said, I didn’t think I’d get this far)**

**Interruptions, Part Five**

**Otherwise Known As The Works of Madness Continued…**

tears up my gosh…I didn’t think I’d ever write five whole things fics of this! And for those of
you who are worrying…No, this one is not 63 pages…lol. It will be the usual length. I told you that
the only reason the last one was so long was that I thought it would be the last one.

Most of you are laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

Ok…read and review.

Luv u all!

**Lily**

Remus…I have something important to tell you and I don’t know exactly how to say it.

**Remus**

You’re not going to do something stupid, are you?

**Lily**

Uh…no.

**Remus**

Like, for instance, dye your hair, get a bad perm-

**Lily**

I like my hair just the way it is, thank you.

**Remus**

-get a tattoo or pierce your nose or break up with James or start dating Sirius or-

**Lily**

Remus!

**Remus**

What-OUCH!

**Lily**

Sorry.

**Remus**

It’s alright.

**Lily**

You were stuck in a loop. I had to do something.

**Remus**

Sorry. Sirius wouldn’t let any of us go to sleep last night.

**Lily**

He made his stomach talk again?

**Remus**

Worse. He and James got drunk and started to sing show tunes. There was no way that Wormtail and
I could have gotten out of it.

**Lily**

I am eternally ashamed of my husband.

**Remus**

You mean that you couldn’t hear them?

**Lily**

I soundproof all of our walls whenever you guys come to visit.

**Remus**

What was is that you wanted to tell me?

**Lily**

Oh…I don’t know how to tell you this.

**Remus**

Lily, we’ve been friends for eight or nine years and you can’t trust me?

**Lily**

Ok, but you can’t tell James.

**Remus**

Uh oh.

**Lily**

What does that mean?

**Remus**

It’s just that whenever someone tries to hide something from James he finds out.

**Lily**

That’s ridiculous.

**Remus**

Sirius tells him.

**Lily**

That makes sense.

**Remus**

So…

**Lily**

So…

**Remus**

Are you going to tell me?

**Lily**

Sigh. Ok…Remus…I’m pregnant.

**Remus**

That’s wonderful! You and James are going to have a baby! …it is James’, right?

**Lily**

Ewww! Yes!

**Remus**

Good.

**Lily**

But I don’t know-

**Remus**

Whether it’s a boy or girl?

**Lily**

No.

**Remus**

If you’re going to allow James to appoint Sirius as Godfather?

**Lily**

No, but I’ve got to talk to him about that.

**Remus**

How to tell James that you refuse to name the kid Rufus?

**Lily**

Close…keep guessing.

**Remus**

I can’t think of anymore.

**Lily**

Remus, you’re supposed to be the smart one!

**Remus**

Sorry! I don’t get to talk as much when Sirius and James are around.

**Lily**

Sigh. I just don’t know how to tell James.

**Remus**

We don’t have to tell him yet.

**Lily**

We have to tell him sometime.

**Remus**

Don’t worry! Everything will be fine.

**Lily**

Thanks. I guess that all we can do for now is drop some subtle hints.

**Remus**

Subtly doesn’t usually work with James. He’s too thick-headed.

**Lily**

It’s all we can do right now. I’m not ready to tell him yet.

**Remus**

C’mon. let’s go get some chocolate.

**Lily**

Is that your answer for everything!

**Remus**

Sometimes.

**Yay! We brought back Harry, Ron and Hermione!**

**Harry**

Sigh.

**Ron**

What are you so depressed about?

**Harry**

It’s just that now that you and Hermione are officially ‘together’ I’m kinda lonely.

**Hermione**

You could date Ginny again.

**Harry**

I can’t, remember? Dark Lord Voldemort, too dangerous, blah, blah, blah…

**Hermione**

Well there had to be something to do around here.

**Ron**

Besides helping Phlegm and Bill get ready for their wedding, you mean?

**Hermione**

Ron, suggesting that they use trolls as bridesmaids and goblins as groomsmen wasn’t called being
helpful.

**Harry**

Right. It’s called being bloody brilliant.

**Hermione**

No, its called being annoying.

**Ron**

C’mon. You knew you thought it was funny.

**Hermione**

No I didn’t.

**Ron**

Admit it! You think I’m funny.

**Hermione**

Ron, be quiet.

**Ron**

You think I am half the time.

**Hermione**

Well…

**Ron**

Yay! She loves me!

**Hermione**

I never said that!

**Ron**

You were thinking it.

**Hermione**

Were not!

**Harry**

Sigh.

**Ron**

What’s the matter, Harry?

**Harry**

Haven’t we been over this already?

**Ron**

Oh, yeah…the whole ‘no-dating-until-you-vanquish-he-who-must-not-be-named-rule.’

**Hermione**

I think he’s getting depressed.

**Harry**

I am not!

**Ron**

Denial.

**Harry**

Argh!

**Ron**

Whoa! Harry…think a minute before you hex me! I’m your best mate, right?

**Harry**

Sorry. The whole teenage brooding thing is getting to me again.

**Hermione**

I think that we should make a list…

**Ron**

Not with the lists again…

**Harry**

She’s your girlfriend.

**Hermione**

…of all the things that we could be doing, but are too lazy to.

**Ron**

Hmmm…

**Harry**

Hmmm…does that count as brooding?

**Hermione**

Yes.

**Harry**

Then let’s do it!

**Hermione**

Alright…#1. we could be reading.

**Ron**

You planned this, didn’t you?

**Harry**

Hermione! Lay off the books, will ya?

**Ron**

Yeah!

**Hermione**

Oh, I don’t know what you’re yeah-ing about, Ronald! You still haven’t finished *Hogwarts, A
History* and you started it back in first year!

**Harry**

That’s one overdue library book. Madame Pince is going to have your arse.

**Ron**

You know why I haven’t read all of it yet, Hermione? Because it’s boring! B-O-R-I-N-G!

**Hermione**

You take that back!

**Ron**

No way, picklefray!

**Hermione**

Picklefray?

**Ron**

Picklefray?

**Ron**

It was the only thing I could think of that rhymed.

**Harry**

Ok, new #1. Instead it’s ‘we could be playing Quidditch.’

**Ron**

Much better.

**Hermione**

Oh, really! Is that all you two think about?

**Harry**

Yes.

**Ron**

Yes.

**Hermione**

Honestly. I’m going to find Ginny.

**Ron**

…

**Harry**

…

**Ron**

Want to play chess?

**Harry**

Yeah, all right.

**Back to the Marauders! Yay!**

**Sirius**

James! James! I’ve got to talk to you!

**James**

When you say ‘I’, do you mean you or your stomach?

**Sirius**

Me.

**James**

Wow. You must actually be serious.

**Sirius**

What do you mean? I am Sirius.

**James**

I let myself fall for that one, didn’t I?

**Sirius**

Yep.

**James**

Remind me never to do that again.

**Sirius**

I’m sorry, what?

**James**

Don’t make me hurt you.

**Sirius**

Like you even could.

**James**

That’s interesting. Care to bet on that?

**Sirius**

No thanks. You still owe me money from the last time we were betting. I don’t trust you
anymore.

**James**

Oh for Merlin’s sake…

**Sirius**

Don’t you try to deny it.

**James**

Why are you even here?

**Sirius**

You invited me into your lovely home, remember? Boy, what a mistake that was…

**James**

No, I mean-

**Sirius**

Peter and Remus are here also, remember?

**James**

That’s not what I meant-

**Sirius**

Is Lily hitting you too hard over the head? Is that why your brain is no longer working?

**James**

WILL YOU JUST LET ME FINISH A SENTENCE!

**Sirius**

Well, technically I just did.

**James**

Shut up.

**Sirius**

Oh, wait…you wanted to know why I came over here to tell you something?

**James**

Yes...please hurry up…

**Sirius**

I don’t know if you’re going to like this.

**James**

Oh no…what is it?

**Sirius**

In fact, I know that you’re not going to like this.

**James**

Tell me, Padfoot…

**Sirius**

Maybe I should just leave well enough alone.

**James**

Since when have you ever done that?

**Sirius**

Hmm…good question.

**James**

Will you just tell me!

**Sirius**

I think…well…I think that…erm…Lily and Remus are…uh…how to phrase this so that you don’t explode
on me…

**James**

What is going on here!

**Sirius**

IoverheardLilyandRemustalkingandIthinkthatLilyischeatingonyou!

**James**

WHAT!

**Sirius**

You could understand that?

**James**

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

**Sirius**

Wow…maybe I underestimated your listening ability.

**James**

LILY AND REMUS!

**Sirius**

I know…they’re complete opposites.

**James**

This isn’t the time to make jokes, Sirius…

**Sirius**

o…k….

**James**

Tell me straight…did you or did you not hear Lily and Remus cheating together?

**Sirius**

Well…it’s either that or she’s pregnant.

**James**

I’M GOING TO KILL REMUS!

**Sirius**

Did you even hear me?

**James**

WHERE IS HE!

**Sirius**

Uh…James? I just thought of something…

**James**

beep beep beep

**Sirius**

Ouch…I don’t think we’re allowed to show that on a fanfic…

**James**

That’s not the point!

**Sirius**

Sorry.

**James**

Excuse me, I have to go and kill them both now.

**Sirius**

No wait! You can’t do that!

**James**

Why not!

**Sirius**

Because if you kill Lily she’ll come back and haunt you and if you kill Remus, then…well…we
don’t need him to copy homework from anymore…but…he probably knows the answer to the ultimate
question of life or whatever.

**James**

Humph.

**Sirius**

Trust me on this one. I have a plan.

**James**

Those are not the words I really want to hear right now.

**Sirius**

Hey, my plans are always good ones!

**James**

And they always landed us in detention!

**Sirius**

Details. It was all usually your fault anyway.

**James**

Sigh…ok…you’re calming me down…what’s your great and mighty plan?

**Sirius**

Thank you for recognizing its beauty.

**James**

I’m going to hit you.

**Sirius**

Well, at least you gave me warning this time.

**James**

Get one with it!

**Sirius**

Ok, ok! Sheesh…we need Wormtail for this.

**James**

…

**Sirius**

What!

**James**

Wormtail? Since when have we needed Wormtail?

**Sirius**

Since…now.

**James**

And what, pray tell, do we need him for?

**Sirius**

For the plan! Have you been paying attention?

**James**

Yes!

**Sirius**

Just checking.

**James**

Just tell me what the plan is supposed to be.

**Sirius**

We use Wormtail to spy on Remus and Lily.

**James**

No.

**Sirius**

No! Why!

**James**

Because it is statistically proven that Peter cannot spy.

**Sirius**

Really? Statistically?

**James**

99 of 100 people surveyed say that they have witnessed him trying to spy on them. Badly.

**Sirius**

Wow. Who was the one person who didn’t see him?

**James**

That would be a sleeping portrait.

**Sirius**

Those odds aren’t so good.

**James**

See my point?

**Sirius**

Well, he’s the only person we’ve got.

**James**

But why does it have to be Peter?

**Sirius**

I just told you why.

**James**

But…but…we could get…uh…that guy from school to do it…who was it?

**Sirius**

I don’t know. Did he have hair and eyes?

**James**

Stop being a smart alec.

**Sirius**

Well, at least you admitted that I’m smart.

**James**

We have to think of someone else.

**Sirius**

Why are you so dead-set against having Peter do it?

**James**

…

**Sirius**

James, is there something that you’re hiding from me?

**James**

…

**Sirius**

You know that I can read your mind, right?

**James**

…

**Sirius**

I’m going to bite you if you don’t tell me.

**James**

I think he’s in love with Lily.

**Sirius**

…

**James**

Sirius?

**Sirius**

…

**James**

Very funny. Don’t try to hold back. You can laugh.

**Sirius**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**James**

You think I’m being a little irrational?

**Sirius**

No! I’m just trying to picture Lily with Peter!

**James**

Oh, thanks for the mental image.

**Sirius**

Now we HAVE to have Peter do it!

**James**

Agh…fine.

**Sirius**

Yay!

**James**

You’re torturing me on purpose, aren’t you?

**Sirius**

No, I’m just having too much fun messing around with your life.

**James**

I was afraid of that.

**Sirius**

It’s not that scary!

**James**

Would you want you to be in control of your life?

**Sirius**

…

**James**

Confused?

**Sirius**

Yes…

**James**

The answer is ‘no.’

**Sirius**

Oh.

**James**

Where is Peter, anyway?

**Sirius**

Flirting with Lily?

**James**

Don’t even tease me with that.

**Sirius**

Sorry.

**James**

Wait, he just walked in.

**Sirius**

Now, how do we do this without him screwing it all up?

**James**

….

**Sirius**

What?

**James**

You didn’t consider that before you brought me this ‘great’ plan of yours!

**Sirius**

Uh…Peter! How nice to see you!

**Peter**

Uh…hi?

**James**

What’s the matter?

**Sirius**

Yeah, why do you look like you’re afraid that we’re going to pounce you?

**James**

Besides the fact that we’ve done it before?

**Peter**

I know those looks.

**James and Sirius**

What looks?

**Peter**

They mean that you two are going to make me do something I don’t want to do.

**Sirius**

How did he know that?

**James**

Well, he is our only guinea pig.

**Peter**

I am not a pig!

**Sirius**

No, it means a test animal.

**Peter**

Oh…I am not a test animal!

**Sirius**

We’re not getting anywhere with this approach.

**James**

New tactic!

**Sirius**

Peter, how would you like to aid us with helping James and Lily out?

**Peter**

Why, is their marriage in trouble?

**James**

Not unless it has to be…

**Peter**

James’ vein is popping out on his forehead again.

**Sirius**

James, control you’re temper; you’re scaring Peter.

**Peter**

What do you mean by ‘helping’?

**Sirius**

By….oh, you know, a little of walking around where Lily is without her seeing you….some more of
following her where ever she goes…that sort of thing.

**Peter**

You mean to stalk her?

**James**

…

**Sirius**

…

**James**

Do you even know what that means, Wormtail?

**Peter**

I know that someone almost put a restraining order against me because of it.

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

Not even going to go there.

**James**

Sigh…it’s not stalking, Peter, it’s called spying.

**Peter**

Oh.

**James**

Whew. That could have lead to something potentially disastrous.

**Peter**

You know I’m not very good at that, right?

**Sirius**

Well, as long as there’s a fine line between spying and stalking then that doesn’t really matter
at the moment.

**Peter**

Alright, I’ll do it.

**James and Sirius**

Yay!

**Peter**

Why are you guys so insistent that I do it, anyways?

**Sirius**

…

**James**

…

**Sirius**

Go ahead, James. Tell him your theory.

**James**

Shut it.

**Sirius**

James thinks that Remus and Lily are doing the naughty.

**Peter**

The…what?

**James**

You…don’t…know what…that is?

**Peter**

Uh…no?

**James**

Oh. My. Bloody. Hel-

**Emmablk1**

Hey, we can’t say things like that in a PG fic.

**James**

Yeah, yeah.

**Emmablk1**

Sorry. Just thought that I should point that out. I’m terribly sorry for the lapse in the
storyline.

**Sirius**

ANYWAYS…James thinks that Remus and Lily have betrayed him.

**Peter**

They’ve done what now?

**Sirius**

Oh my gosh….how to explain this in the simplest terms…?

**James**

Let me try. I think that Lily and Remus are cheating on me with each other.

**Peter**

Huh? In what game?

**Sirius**

In the game of looove.

**James**

You didn’t have to say it in such a deep voice.

**Sirius**

It’s called ‘ambiance’ look it up.

**James**

I would if it even existed.

**Peter**

I’ve never played that game. What’re the rules?

**Sirius**

AGH! James thinks that R-E-M-U-S and L-I-L-Y are having S-E-X behind his back!

**James**

I cannot believe you just wrote that.

**Sirius**

Well, technically I spelled it out, not wrote it out.

**Peter**

…

**James**

Peter…?

**Sirius**

Does he get it now?

**James**

I don’t know…he’s not saying anything.

**Sirius**

He looks frozen.

**James**

Hmm…now the question is whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

**Sirius**

Peter?

**Peter**

I’ll help you.

**James**

Even though Sirius traumatized you for life?

**Sirius**

Are you sure you’re ok? You’re white and shaking.

**Peter**

I’ll help as long as you never repeat that word to me again.

**Sirius**

Yeesh, where does he think we are- middle school?

**James**

Apparently.

**Peter**

You won’t repeat it, will you?

**Sirius**

Fine. But we’re still allowed to talk about it after you’ve left the room, right?

**Peter**

As long as I don’t know anything about those conversations.

**Sirius**

Okay.

**It’s time for a little Hermione, Harry, and Ron time before we get into the final stages of
Peter spying on Lily and Remus…(They’re here for comic relief!)**

**Hermione**

…

**Ron**

…

**Harry**

…

**Hermione**

That’s all we’re here for!

**Ron**

Comic relief!

**Emmablk1**

Well…when I get stuck on the marauders it’s just easy to come and write for you three
instead.

**Harry**

Oh I see how it is, then.

**Emmablk1**

See how what is?

**Harry**

We’re just the back-up singers in your band.

**Emmablk1**

Huh?

**Ron**

I agree.

**Hermione**

How unusual.

**Emmablk1**

Huh. Well, first of all, if I did have a band, I wouldn’t go so far as to have back-up singers.
I’d be the star.

**Harry**

Nice use of self-control.

**Emmablk1**

Thank you. And second of all…who’s in this band of mine? It’s all hot guys, right? Because that
would be great!

**Ron**

…

**Harry**

…

**Hermione**

…

**Emmablk1**

Sorry.

**Harry and Ron**

You should be.

**Hermione**

You should just get back to the story now.

**Ron**

Yeah, and leave the comic relief to us.

**Harry**

Ron, that’s exactly what we were fighting against.

**Ron**

Oh. Right. I knew that.

**Hermione**

Lo and behold, viewers; my boyfriend.

**Ron**

Hey, you were the one who picked me.

**Hermione**

And I never regretted that choice.

**Ron**

And I never regretted accepting that choice.

**Harry**

Egh. This isn’t going to turn into one of your ‘you’re cuter!... no you’re cuter!’ types of
things, is it?

**Emmablk1**

Oh god I hope not.

**Harry**

Because if it is, I want to get out of the room before it starts.

**Hermione**

Snookiepus.

**Ron**

Sweetums.

**Emmablk1**

Oh gosh…c’mon Harry, let’s go find some food.

**Harry**

Yeah, maybe getting myself fat will distract myself from Ron and Hermione.

**Emmablk1**

That’s the spirit.

**And, finally, after that short break, we (The Infamous Marauders) are back to finish the
story!**

**Lily**

I just wanted to thank you so much for keeping my secret, Remus.

**Remus**

You’re welcome, Lily.

**Lily**

I also just wanted to say thanks for not letting it slip up at the dinner table as to why I
couldn’t drink the wine last night.

**Remus**

No problem.

**Lily**

I also wanted to thank you for also not telling James the truth whenever he stopped talking to
you last night for no apparent reason and almost sucker punched you when you kept bugging him about
it.

**Remus**

Uh…it was nothing?

**Lily**

I just wanted to say what a good friend you are to me for not saying anything to Sirius when he
gave you the third degree and rambled on about ham for three hours trying to cover up the fact that
he thinks you’re up to something.

**Remus**

Uh…Lily? You can stop thanking me now.

**Lily**

Why?

**Remus**

It brings up painful memories.

**Lily**

Oh, right. See, I should have realized that when James saw the little baby clothes that I had
snuck into the house and he thought that you had done something crazy (which I’m not exactly sure
what he was talking about) and tried to punch you again. And that he really hit you on the side of
your jaw.

**Remus**

Really. Shut up now.

**Lily**

Oh. Sorry.

**Remus**

Lily, I’m not really sure how long I can keep this up.

**Lily**

The secret?

**Remus**

No, the fact that I’m a werewolf…yes the secret!

**Lily**

I thought you might say that, but I’m really not ready to tell James the truth yet. I mean,
everything’s finally settled down from post-wedding apocalypse.

**Remus**

True. But I think that everything will be a lot calmer if you actually told him the truth.

**Lily**

Not to mention that he’d stop trying to hit you less.

**Remus**

Yes. That too.

**Lily**

Why was he so crazy last night, anyways?

**Remus**

I’m pretty sure it’s because he thinks we’re having an affair. Or, rather, you’re having an
affair…I’m not really sure on how that all works.

**Lily**

Oh, please. He couldn’t think that!

**Remus**

Then why is Peter spying on us?

**Lily**

I just assumed that he was stalking me again.

**Remus**

Again!

**Lily**

Well, there was this time in third year when I felt like I was constantly being watched.

**Remus**

And it was Peter!

**Lily**

Well, yes. But it all turned out ok.

**Remus**

…

**Lily**

It really did!

**Remus**

I’m sure.

**Lily**

Believe what you will.

**Remus**

Lily, James sent Peter to spy on us to make sure we’re not actually cheating on him.

**Lily**

But why would he send Peter? He’s the worst spy ever.

**Remus**

Because James would have killed me with anticipation by now, fueled by jealousy. And Sirius
would have burped…or something of that nature.

**Lily**

True.

**Remus**

Do you think he knows that we know that he’s watching us?

**Lily**

No. He’s just kind of sitting there behind the couch. Apparently he can’t hear us at the kitchen
table from over there.

**Remus**

Deafness comes with growing up with James and Sirius.

**Lily**

Ah. Wow, that explains a lot.

**Remus**

Yeah. I know.

**Lily**

I guess I should tell him the truth, then.

**Remus**

It shouldn’t be as hard as you’re making it out to be.

**Lily**

Remus, have you ever had a husband?

**Remus**

No…

**Lily**

Have you ever been pregnant and had to tell said husband that you were so?

**Remus**

Uh…that would be a no. And always a no.

**Lily**

Then you don’t know what I’m talking about.

**Remus**

Fair enough.

**Lily**

I’ll go find James.

**Remus**

I believe he’s in your bedroom with Sirius.

**Lily**

Why does that sound so wrong?

**Remus**

They’re planning on how to make us confess.

**Lily**

Oh, good. That was the answer I was hoping for.

**To Sirius and James once again…**

**Sirius**

So I think that we should start with Remus first. He should crack sooner than Lily on the whole
subject.

**James**

Good plan.

**Sirius**

Who’s knocking?

**James**

I don’t know.

**Sirius**

Go away! We’re…uh…naked!

**James**

Sirius!

**Sirius**

What?...oh. sorry.

**Lily**

And why would you be naked in my bedroom?

**James**

It’s my bedroom too!

**Lily**

Just let me come in. I have to talk to you.

**Sirius**

She’s going to confess without the fun of torture!

**James**

Sirius, that’s a good thing, remember?

**Sirius**

Yeah, I know. I was just having fun with plans that we never had time to use on the
Slytherins.

**James**

Some other time, Padfoot.

**Lily**

I’m just going to let myself in since neither one of you can physically get up and walk two feet
over to open the door.

**Sirius**

I’ll be leaving now.

**James**

So you wanted to talk to me? And this would be about…?

**Lily**

James, I have something to tell you. It may come as a shock.

**James**

Oh god.

**Lily**

Now, I’ve been talking to Remus for support and we think that-

**James**

Just come right out and say it; I can handle it!

**Lily**

Uh…ok…

**James**

Really, you don’t have to dumb it down for me-I’m a full grown man!

**Lily**

Well, then if you really want to know, I’m-

**James**

AGH! I knew it! You and Remus are going off together to a tiny island and never coming back!

**Lily**

No, I’m just-

**James**

Going to go to another part of the country because you’re both so partial to England, right?

**Lily**

Uh, No. I’m really-

**James**

Sorry that it had to be this way and you hope that I can forgive you in time, even though you
know that once you and Remus leave forever, then I will most likely throw myself off a cliff and
have to leave the house to Sirius.

**Lily**

*NO! Don’t do that!*

**James**

Oh. Okay.

**Lily**

James, what I’m trying to tell you is that…that…

**James**

You’re…?

**Lily**

I’m pregnant.

**James**

…

**Lily**

James?

**James**

…

**Lily**

Do you have some kind of reaction to this, or do I have to pretend like you do?

**James**

…

**Lily**

Sweetie?

**James**

…

**Lily**

Now would be a good time to say something. Anything.

**James**

You’re…you’re…pregnant?

**Lily**

Erm…that’s what the doctor told me.

**James**

Really pregnant?

**Lily**

It’s kind of hard to fake a pregnancy.

**James**

Wow…oh…wow.

**Lily**

Yeah? Is that good or bad?

**James**

Good. Really, really good….so you’re not in love with Remus, then?

**Lily**

*NO!*

**James**

Oh, wow…this is great!

**Lily**

Yeah? You think that?

**James**

Can we name him Rufus!

**Lily**

…

**James**

Lil?

**Lily**

The name Rufus is not an option.

**James**

Oh…how about Tom?

**Lily**

We can debate names later, James. And who says it’s going to be a boy?

**James**

I do. Dave?

**Lily**

James…

**James**

Larry?

**Lily**

Really, you can stop.

**James**

Jackson?

**Lily**

Now.

**James**

Stanley!

**Lily**

I swear, if I start out this pregnancy with me banging my head against the wall every time we
start thinking of names, I’m going to hurt you.

**James**

Ooh…mood swing?

**Lily**

Don’t name my symptoms!

**James**

Sorry.

**Sirius**

Well, it sounds like everything’s back to normal.

**Remus**

Yep. Hey, where’s Peter?

**Sirius**

Still behind the couch. I figure that’s the safest place for him for the moment.

**Remus**

Excellent idea.

**Sirius**

I know.

**And that concludes this chapter’s events. Stay tuned for new mini random shorter chapters
that should be popping up pretty soon here. I just know you’ll love them!**

**Sirius: you say that about every fic that you write.**

**James: yeah, and look how sorry your reviews are for some of them.**

**Shut up. That’s not my fault.**

**Remus: and who’s fault would that be, then?**

**Uh…Satan’s?**

**Lily: That’s your excuse for everything.**

**Sirius, Remus, and James: Too True.**

**1/7/06, Emmablk1**



6. Semi-Chapter 1
-----------------



Sirius

I think we should have a president.

James

…

Remus

…

Peter

…

James

Let me be the first to say this: what?!

Sirius

Yeah! I think we should have a president! And we could vote and have running campaigns and-

Remus

We're friends; we don't need a president, we're not a club.

James

Where'd you get this idea, anyways?

Sirius

Are you saying that I can't come up with something like this on my own?

Peter

Yes.

Sirius

…

Remus

Have you been watching muggle television again?

Sirius

…

James

Sirius…

Sirius

…Maybe…

James

I told you not to do that anymore; it gives you nightmares!

Sirius

I know, but I just couldn't help it.

Remus

Why do we need a president, anyways?

Sirius

Fine. Shoot down all my hopes and dreams, why don't you?

Peter

Okay.

Sirius

…

James

…

Remus

Although…

James

Don't tell me you agree with this lunacy!

Remus

All right, I won't.

James

Moony!

Remus

Well, you have to admit, he does have a point.

James

When have you ever known Sirius to have a point?!

Remus

I think the real question is `when have I known Sirius to ever have a thought?'

Sirius

Not the point!!

Remus

Although we can debate that at a later date.

James

Tuesday?

Remus

I'll call the other prefects.

James

I wonder if we can get the great hall as a debate room?

Remus

How much would it cost to rent?

Sirius

Can we get back to me here?!

James

Sheesh Padfoot. It's always about you, isn't it?

Sirius

Yes, of course. How many times do I have to tell you that before you learn it?

Peter

What were we talking about again?

Sirius

Good old Peter. Your memory is the same length as a goldfish's.

James

Hey whatever happened to that remembrall that we gave you?

Peter

Uh…I forgot where I put it?

Remus

Moving on…

Sirius

Yes I am handsome. Thank you for pointing that out.

James

…

Remus

…

Peter

…

James

What the heck? Where did that come from?

Sirius

I don't know…it kind of just came out.

Remus

Sigh. Getting back to the point…er…other thing we were talking about...let's put it to a
vote, shall we?

Sirius

Put what to a vote?

James

Padfoot! Can't you remember anything you have been talking about in the last five
minutes?

Sirius

Uh…no.

Peter

I could have guessed that.

Remus

I meant let's put the presidency to a vote.

James

Really? We're really going to go through with this?

Remus

Sure why not? There's nothing else to do but indulge Padfoot in some of his weird
fantasies.

James

But only this one. I don't want to know what the other fantasies involve, ok?

Remus

Trust me; no one does.

Sirius

Don't worry, all the other weird fantasies involve super hot chicks which you, my friends,
are not.

James

Fortunately none of your fantasies will ever come true.

Sirius

Precisely. Wait, what?

Remus

All those in favor of James being our president?

James

Aye

Remus

Aye

Peter

Aye

Sirius

Nay!

Remus

Well, that's settled. Prongs, you're now our official president.

Sirius

Wait a minute!

Remus

What? We voted.

Sirius

Yeah, but Prongs wasn't supposed to get the job!

Remus

Uh…he had the majority Padfoot.

Sirius

But…but…

Remus

Look at it this way; you haven't lost anything. In fact, nothing really has changed here.
He's always been our leader in some ways.

James

Well, thanks Remus. That makes me feel special.

Remus

Exactly. It's a win-win situation.

-->