To Wish Impossible Things

Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter. As for DR, I would love to.

To Wish Impossible Things is a song title by The Cure. I do not own that either.

And on with the story…

I was not named for anyone. My mother simply liked the name and so it was decided, my name was to be Brina (pronounced Breena, not Brihnna). My father had no say. My mother had the last say in everything.

I suppose it was because she was a witch, and my father was a muggle. I overheard her say that once she told him she was a witch their relationship wasn’t the same. I can’t say I blame the poor bloke, having a wife that could turn you into a toad at any given moment? Not that she would, mind you. My mum is a very loving and kind lady, most of the time. But my father and her are very much in love still. Sometimes it’s almost disgusting. So I suppose being around them all of the time, and all those prince-rescues-princess books that I read, led me to form my idea of love. And what my idea of my one true love should look like.

So I suppose that when I finally received a letter from Hogwarts stating that I was a witch, and I was to be sent off to learn magic, it wasn’t my fault that I fell in love with the wrong wizard. I mean, these things do happen. More often then you realize, I bet.

I was a dreamer, of sorts. Not one of those la-la-la head-in-the-clouds kind of dreamer. Those are just plain annoying. But the one with dreams, even if they didn’t have a voice of their own outside of my head.

And so I combined the two things, love and dreams. Also, with a little bit of wishing. What did I get? A fantasy that I tried to chase, but never could quite grasp. I always wished that someday I could be happy, like the princesses and damsels-in-distress that I read about that ended up ruling a country. Only without the ruling part, that I could do without.

This is my story of 7^th year, but only the important stuff. I guess this is how I learned to make the rest of the big decisions. I lived in the Gryffindor dorms, with my two best friends in Ravenclaw. My crush was in my house. So was my third best friend, who didn’t live in our dorm that year. That year wasn’t easy, let me tell you.

A/N: So yeah, I’m writing a new story. A little different but different is good, right? Love it, hate it, let me know. The prologue is supposed to be weird, just to let you know. And I actually have a structure for this story! So it won’t be so long to update like Hate and Love! Yay! ;)

Disclmr: Do I own: HP? Nope; DR? No, sadly; William Moseley? No?! Agh!

Chapter One: Here We Go Again

I opened the door to the second-to-last compartment. Sure enough, my best friends Matthew and A’Marie were there. “Hey guys!” I exclaimed as I sat down next to Matt. “How was the rest of your vacation?”

“The usual,” A’Marie replied. “Back to France to visit Grandmama, horridly boring.”

“Wandering around London, nothing too exciting. Not without you two. What about you, Bri?” Matt asked me.

“It was alright. I had to spend most of it with Cynthia and listen to her talk about her fabulous boyfriend, and understanding friends, and perfect grades. Oh it was absolutely fabulous,” I mocked her, causing Matt and A’Marie to laugh. “And she told me to write to her over the year, because it’s just ‘too awful only getting to talk to me in the summertime.’” My perfect imitation of her only caused Matt and A’Marie to laugh even louder.

“Oh my, I forgot to tell you guys! I met this boy in France! He lives a block down from my Grandmama’s house. I can’t believe I’ve never seen him before! His name is Dion, and he is so wonderful. He’s nice and funny. And he’s charming,” A’Marie gushed.

“Like me?” a voice asked from the doorway. I looked over, and sure enough, Sirius Black was standing there. My stomach did a little flip-flop.

“You? Charming? Never,” I teased as he sit down next to A’Marie.

“Aw, Brina you hurt my feelings,” he said.

“How was your vacation?” I asked him.

“Good. I spent most of it at the Potter’s, plotting and planning,” he told us.

“What do you have in store for this year?” Matt asked him.

“Ah, the usual. Did you see the Quidditch Cup? I heard that you were there,” Sirius said to Matt.

“Yeah, my dad got tickets, it was pretty spectacular. Did you hear a lot about it?” Matt asked him.

“I heard what I could. What was it like? Did you see Derrik Wayne?” Sirius asked.

I rolled my eyes at the two boys and their Quiddtich. “So Amy, what’s he like? Is he a good kisser?” I asked her.

“Bri, you would not believe me if I told you. He has the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s so nice. We took tons of walks, and we ate ice cream most every night together. He was so romantic too,” A’Marie told me as she sighed, just thinking of him.

“Wait, Amy, is he a wizard? Does he know you’re a witch?” I asked her.

A’Marie broke into a huge smile, “Yes! He is! I was so excited when I found out! He goes to this private school just bordering Spain, in the mountains. He says it’s beautiful there, and I believe him. He’s going to write to me. Oh, he’s so wonderful! I wish you could’ve met him.”

“I want too. He almost sounds too good to be true,” I smiled. I was so happy for A’Marie, she looked so elated when she talked about him.

“Trust me he’s real. I couldn’t of have dreamed up a more perfect guy if I tried.”

“Black, what are you doing in here?” Lily asked as she stepped into our compartment.

“Just chatting with Matt, relax. I haven’t forgotten about you Lily dear,” he said blowing her a kiss.

“Oh shove it,” she said angrily.

“Is the prefect meeting over? How did it go? I hope Jamesie wasn’t too overly happy to see you that he made a bad impression, did he?” Sirius asked her.

“I can’t believe he made Head Boy,” Lily muttered.

“I suppose I should go, we’ve much planning to do now that Jamesie is HB!” Sirius said and dashed out of our compartment.

“You’ll not get away with anything!” Lily called out after him. “Ugh, that arrogant prick.”

“But Lily, he is so fine,” I said. “I swear, each summer he gets hotter. I don’t know how he does it.”

“Ugh stop, Bri. I don’t want to hear about Sirius. I just had to spend the last 15 in a prefect meeting with James Potter. It wasn’t pleasant,” she said.

“Was it really that bad?” A’Marie asked.

“Yes,” Lily responded.

“Well, what happened?” Matt asked her.

“Oh well, nothing really…it was just being in the same room with him.”

“Did he ask you out again?” I asked her.

Lily pondered for a moment, “No, he didn’t. That’s strange…”

Matt and I exchanged looks and Lily got lost in her thoughts.

“You two still aren’t prefects?” I asked Matt and A’Marie.

A’Marie shook her head. “No. Claire and Mark are.”

“Why? I think you too are more responsible than they are,” I said.

“I’m not too upset by it. Doing rounds all night and patrolling? I’m sorry, but that’s not my idea of fun,” Matt said.

“Mine neither. I suppose that’s why,” A’Marie said.

“How did Potter get Head Boy?” Lily said suddenly.

“What?” I asked, that had come out of nowhere.

“I mean, why is he Head Boy. Why not you, Matt? Or anyone, besides him. Remus is better than him and he was a prefect!” Lily sputtered out angrily.

“I take it you won’t be too happy about sharing the Head Dorm with him then?” Matt asked her. A’Marie and I started to giggle, just watching the emotions written on Lily’s face go from mad to furious.

“NO! THEY CAN’T! OH NO! This CANNOT be happening! I can’t live there!” Lily exclaimed.

“Calm down, Lily. It’s not that bad,” I reasoned.

“NOT THAT BAD? I have to share a DORM with JAMES POTTER? I think that’s pretty bad!” she yelled.

“Shhh! Lily!” A’Marie exclaimed.

“I can’t believe this. This is cruel and unusual punishment for something I didn’t even do!” Lily cried out.

“I think we should change into our robes, we must almost be there,” I said. Matt left the compartment to change into his robes. Us three girls changed right in there, Lily and I into our Gryffindor robes and A’Marie into her Ravenclaw ones.

“James isn’t all that bad, Lily,” A’Marie told her. “You should just give him a chance.”

“Potter? A chance? I’ve tried that already. He failed miserably. Do we have to recall that incident that he set my hair on fire? Or the one where I ended up in the lake when Ted asked me out? Or how about the one where he tried…” Lily said and someone knocked on the door.

“Can I come in?” Matt asked from outside.

“Yeah, come in,” I said. He came in and took his seat.

“Where he tried to stick that insane paper hear thing to my hand so I would think of him?” Lily continued.

“Oh not this still!” Matt exclaimed. “Lily, move on. You’ll have to get along with him at some point. Hopefully soon since you’ll be working with him for the rest of the year.”

Lily sat down in silence and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Don’t be mad. Let’s move onto a happier topic. Like…” I started to say.

“Not Sirius!” A’Marie exclaimed.

“Aww, Amy!”

“Sorry, Bri, but I already know everything I could ever want to know about him, and more, thanks to you,” she told me.

“Ok, ok, sorry.”

“So you still like Sirius?” Lily asked me.

I nodded. “Of course. I think this year will be the year that he realizes he loves me.”

“Sure it is,” Lily said sarcastically.

“You never know.”

“Isn’t he going out with Olivia?” A’Marie asked me.

“Yes,” I said with a sigh. “Thanks for reminding me. Now that you have all successfully popped my bubble, can we move on?”

“I suppose,” Lily said.

“You’ll just have to keep wishing that impossible wish, Bri,” A’Marie told me.

“I will, don’t worry,” I assured them.

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“Oh shut up Lily, no one wants to hear that, it’s depressing,” I told Lily as we sat in the Heads’ common room. “Besides, we can talk about more happier things…like Sirius Black.”

“Not again Brina! I’m not going to listen to you go on about him again!” Lily complained and held her hand over her ears.

“Li-ly,” I whined. “It’s not my fault I like him. It’s his. Why he’s so bloody gorgeous I’ll never know.”

“Stop Brina!”

“He is fine, that boy. And oh, did you see him? I think he got more gorgeous over the summer, if that’s possible. I could stare into his eyes all day…”

“I know. You told me this a thousand times already.”

“But really, don’t you think so t-”

“BRINA!” Lily yelled.

“Sor-ry.”

“You talk about him all the time, Bri.”

“I can’t help it. I think about him all the time.”

“I know. Just…stop thinking about him,” Lily suggested.

“You know it’s not that easy.”

“Brina, what are you going to do? It’s not like he fancies you. We’ve been over this before. He was snogging Olivia earlier today in the hallway.”

I scowled. “You just had to ruin it. Didn’t you?”

Lily held her hands up as if to prove her innocence, “I’m sorry. I just thought you’d want to know.”

My heart broke a little more. He just had to love me.

I guess I looked really upset, because Lily tried to console me. “One of these days he’s going to realize how wonderful you are and how much time he’s been wasting with these other girls. He’ll come around.”

“Thanks for trying, but he doesn’t fancy me. He never will.”

Lily shot me a sympathetic look.

If only her looks could save me.

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“Hey Brina,” Sirius said as he sat down next to me while I was writing.

“Hey,” I replied back, rather unenthusiastically. I was still upset with him for not dumping Olivia already. He just didn’t know that I was mad at him for being with another girl. We weren’t even going out. I doubt he had the slightest idea that I’ve had the biggest crush on him since forever.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me.

Those beautiful eyes. I swear those eyes will be the death of me one day. I would jump off of a cliff and into a lake if someone told me he’d look at me in that way with those eyes.

“Nothing,” I replied, trying to give him silent signals to go away. I didn’t feel like being around him. Not now.

“Good. ‘Cause I need you’re advice. I asked James, but he’s no help, and since you’re my best girl friend, you could help,” he said, shooting me a look that said he desperately needed my help. Notice how he said girl friend. Not girlfriend. It killed me every time.

“What?” I asked him. His troubles were never too much. The most that ever happened was two girls liking him at once. Heaven forbid that should happen…

“Well, I suppose I’m going out with Olivia, but I think I have feelings for another girl. Except I’m not sure if she likes me. I don’t want to dump Olivia if I can’t get with this other girl though,” Sirius explained.

Geez, another great problem for me to solve. But who was this other girl he liked? Who didn’t like Sirius? (Besides Lily.) Oh god, please don’t let it be Lily! “Sirius? Who do you like?” I asked him. Please not Lily. Let it be me. Me. Do you hear me Sirius? Me for once.

“Acacia.”

I tried not to laugh. I really did. But I didn’t succeed. I laughed until I thought my sides would split open. “A-Acacia? Are you serious?” I asked in between laughs and gasps.

Sirius sent me a dirty look. I take it he wasn’t happy with my reaction at all.

“I thought you would take me seriously. No one else does. I guess I was wrong to come to you,” he said, clearly upset with me and started to walk out of the room.

“Fine,” I said before he walked out of the room. “I’ll ask around for you, see if anybody knows who she likes,” I told him, since I knew this is what he would’ve asked me to do anyways.

“Really? Thanks Brina! You are the greatest!” he praised me with a huge grin before dashing out of the room.

“Of course,” I said to the empty room. I buried my head in my hands.

Here we go again.

A/N: Sooo? Better than the intro? Worse? How do you like the name Brina? And did you figure out that Amy is Brina’s nickname for A’Marie?

You + Review = New Chapter

.Chapter Two: Kissmas

September, October, November, and most of December went without too much excitement or enthusiasm. I guess that should’ve been a sign there all on its own.

It was over Christmas vacation when it all changed.

I certainly wasn’t expecting it.

I never would have seen it coming.

But don’t they say “love is blind”?

If so, I was as blind as a bat without its radar.

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“I’m not looking forward to going back either,” I said. “Bye Amy.”

“Bye Am,” Matt said.

“Bye,” A’Marie called to us as she took a handful of floo powder and threw it into our fireplace shouting “Devereux House.” I watched the flames envelope my friend before I turned to Matt who was beside me.

He stood square with me and gazed into my eyes. “I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile,” he told me, but before I could think of something to say, I felt his lips on mine. They were soft and warm, and he smelled incredibly good. I knew it was a bit wrong, snoggin my best friend, but he started it, and I sure wasn’t going to end it. I mean, can you blame me?

I was breathless, confused, and reluctant when he broke away from me.

“I’ll see you at Hogwarts then,” he told me before disappearing into the flames of the fireplace.

Now seriously, what kind of boy does that to a girl?

Kisses his best friend, then leaves her right after he’s done?

Matt, I suppose.

Matt. Matt. The boy who had just kissed me. Wait a minute. He said something about “wanting to do this for a while.” Matt liked me. And I didn’t know about it? Something was definitely wrong with the world. And it was all Matt’s fault.

I wasn’t mad at him for kissing me, but, seriously, who did he think he was just doing that? Screwing everything up? We were friends! I didn’t know he liked me. And worst of all, I didn’t know if I liked him.

Did I? I never really thought of Matt in that way before. Honestly, before that kiss, I didn’t know he liked me in that way.

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I stared at the blank parchment before me. I was supposed to be writing a letter to A’Marie, after all it was the proper thing to do after she sent me one telling me about her adventures in French-Land with Dion. I had plenty of things I wanted to write, mostly about how Matt had kissed me. How I didn’t know if I was starting to have feelings for him. Or if I had some but never knew. How I wondered what Sirius would think of this all, had he taken the time to look. Did I still like Sirius or if I was suddenly over him. But I wrote none of my questions. Instead, I wrote a painfully dull and short letter to her. Mainly forcing myself to think up questions to ask her about Dion to get my mind off of Matt. I signed the letter and called Trix, my owl. I tied it around her leg and told her to take it to A’Marie. Trix hooted and was out of my window before I could blink. She was almost as restless as me sometimes.

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I never knew what to do with myself over holidays. I mean, I loved the excitement of no schoolwork or worries, but once they came they were boring and dull. So, I settled for reading one of my books. I was doing just that when my mum came into my room.

“Are you ok Brina?” she asked me.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, although I knew the sound of my voice implied that I wasn’t.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, sitting on my bed.

I put my book down on the table next to me and turned to face her.

“Let’s just say I have this friend and she’s friends with this boy. She really likes this other boy that she can never have though. But now, she finds out that her friend likes her. What should she do?”

“Oh I see. And do your friends have names?” she asked me.

“Lydia is friends with Jordan who kissed her, but she really likes James,” I lied smoothly and evenly.

“Lydia and Regan? You never mentioned them before,” my mum mused.

“Lydia asked A’Marie for advice, but she didn’t know what to tell her. So then A’Marie asked me about it. I feel bad for Lydia. She doesn’t really stand a chance with James Potter.”

“James Potter?” mum asked. “The one who-”

“-who Lily’s always going on about? The one who stuck gum in my hair before leaving for vacation second year? The one Matt’s friends with? Yeah, the one and only,” I said.

“I think Lydia would be best off with Regan.”

“That’s what I said, but that girl is delusional. Thanks Mum.”

“Of course, honey,” she said before leaving me alone in my room with only my thoughts to keep me company.

Go out with Matt. Of course. It seemed like the simple answer. It seemed like the right answer. Yet, I was so sure that any day Sirius would open up his eyes and finally see me. That he would realize how much he loved me. I only needed to give him a little more time. He would come around. He had to.

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I thought about my dilemma day and night. Now you might not think of it as much of a dilemma but I did. This would decide my future, somehow, I told myself.

The letter I received that night changed my mind. If it hadn’t come, I wouldn’t of have chosen the way I did. Thank God for that letter.

It came late at night. The next day was our departure for Hogwarts.

Brina,

Meet you tomorrow at 10:53 as usual.

Love,

Matt

And although he had signed “Love, Matt” before, this time I knew he meant it. Where was my letter from Sirius? He supposedly loved me, so where was his letter to me? Why didn’t he write? Matt had. He signed it “Love, Matt” too. I chased all my fantasies away. I had been so hypnotized by Sirius and his fake charm and obnoxious ways that I had missed Matt’s genuine concern and subtle hints. I decided that was it.

And Matt was the one I wanted.

A/N: So I thought I’d be nice and update since tomorrow I’m going to see Saving Jane & Tyler Hilton! ::grins:: I love them. So would you be nice and review for me?

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Except for Brina, A’Marie, Matt, and most of the plot.

Chapter Three: Carrying Through

I prepped myself for the awkwardness that I would face when I saw Matt in the car on the way to the station. I knew it would be awkward when I first saw him and for when we were together. I was nervous all the way over there. I knew it would be uncomfortable, so I prepped myself for it.

To my surprise, I had wasted my time.

There was none.

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He was waiting between platforms 9 and 10 like he always did. He was always early. He looked a bit nervous, probably wondering what I’d do.

I ran up to him, flung my arms around his neck and kissed him, taking him by surprise this time.

When we broke apart everyone was surprised, even myself.

I didn’t know I had the guts to do that.

“Aw! You guys!” A’Marie exclaimed as she ran up to us. “Are you two a couple or what?”

Matt looked at me.

“Yes,” I told her with a grin.

A’Marie squealed and gave us both bone-crushing hugs.

I got my cart from my mum and kissed her good-bye. She looked a little shell-shocked by my sudden outburst of my PDA.

The three of us made our way onto the plat form when Jeremy called Matt over to look at something he got, probably from Christmas. Matt went off, only after he promised that he would be right back.

“Hey!” Lily said as she caught up with me and Amy.

“Lily guess what! Bri and Matt are a couple!” A’Marie gushed, before Lily was able to guess.

“Aw, Bri! Congrats,” she said. Then she smiled the smile that meant she had a secret. “I have news too. It’s better if I tell you.”

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Is something wrong?” A’Marie questioned her.

“No, it’s just…I’m going out with James Potter,” she said quickly and softly, so no one would overhear.

“Lily! That’s great!” I exclaimed as Amy and I both gave her a hug.

“I have to go look for him now,” she said, scanning the crowd.

“Ok. Have fun!” I called out after her.

“Hey Bri,” Sirius said as he appeared before me.

“Hi Sirius,” I said. A’Marie stiffened at my side. This was a test, I just knew it. But I knew I could pass.

“Guess what!”

“What?”

“I bedded Acacia! All thanks to you!”

I looked at him with a mixture of horror and disgust displayed on my face. “You bedded her? She’s not some kind of trophy, Sirius. She can’t be won over. She’s not a prize. You disgust me. I’m ashamed I ever tried to help you,” I said angrily. I skimmed the crowd and found Matt. I quickly made my way over to him and laced my fingers with his. He smiled his perfect smile down at me.

“What’s wrong with her?” Sirius asked no one in particular.

“She’s right you know,” A’Marie told him.

“Wait, wait. Is she with Matt?”
“Yeah. Don’t they look cute together,” A’Marie said before making her way towards us.

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“Do we have to go? Can’t we just stay here all night?” I asked Matt. We were in the Astronomy Tower, staring at the stars. It was about twelve thirty at night.

He wrapped the blanket around me more and held me close. “Sure.”

I fell asleep against him, and he didn’t seem to mind at all.

In fact, when I woke up the next morning, he hadn’t moved from his upright position at all. When I asked him why he didn’t just move me, he said that he didn’t want to disturb me at all. That I looked pretty when I was sleeping. Thankfully it was a Sunday and he didn’t have to fall asleep in classes because of me. But I have the feeling that if he had to he would, even if he had to sacrifice a grade or so.

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It was so easy to be friends with Matt. I thought it would be hard going from just being friends to being boy/girlfriend. But I was wrong again. It seemed so natural. Like it was meant to be (I know it’s cliché but it’s true). If he was a great friend, he was an amazing boyfriend. I never doubted him for a second. He was always there for me, like he was before.

Once even, me and Matt and Lily and James went on a double date at Hogwarts. It was great fun. Me, Matt, A’Marie, and Lily still had our little group, it was just frequently visited by James. Sometimes I knew A’Marie felt left out, but there was always a new letter from Dion to keep cheer her up after a long day.

I can’t believe that I didn’t see how great a boyfriend Matt would’ve made before. I blame myself, but I also party blame Sirius.

After the incident at the train station, we didn’t talk as much as we used to, but that was ok because it seemed like all my spare time was spent with Matt.

I have to say, Lily and James did make quite the couple. It seemed like they were always the topic of conversation at Hogwarts ever since the end of the holiday break. They were adorable together. They got along better, although there was still the occasional fight, but they weren’t half as bad as the ones I witnessed before. I was happy for her. I was happy for A’Marie. I was happy for myself. It all seemed so great.

A/N: Yeah! Another chappie!

Disclaimer: Yeah, I’m still working on the whole owning-Harry Potter-thing. So far, it’s a no-go…

Chapter Four: S is for Envy

“Brina! Brina! Wait up!” Sirius called after me. I stopped in the hall and waited for him to catch up to. “Hey.”

“Hi Sirius,” I said. We walked along in silence for a little while before he said anything.

“Are you still mad at me? Listen, I know what I did was wrong, and I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be upset with me. I miss talking to you. You’re the only one that understands me like James does, but doesn’t make fun of me,” he said, eyes wide and innocent.

How could I refuse? “It’s okay Sirius. What happened with Acacia?”

“I let her go. She was eyeing up that new 6^th year,” he said.

“Oh. Sorry,” I said.

“It’s ok. Listen, I have something to ask you. Answer me honestly?” he asked me.

“What is it Sirius?” I asked him.

“If there’s this girl you really like, maybe even love, what would you do? Well, in your case, a boy,” Sirius queried.

“Be with them…” I said uncertainly. What was this about? That was a rather stupid question although I didn’t tell him so.

“But what if they already had a boyfriend?” Sirius added.

That changed the question. “If she has a boyfriend, she obviously likes him. Let them go if they’re happy,” I told him. And I would know, I’d done it plenty of times for him.

“But if you really, really loved her, but it took you too long to figure it out. And now you wished you would’ve paid more attention to them,” Sirius said.

I mulled it over, but still came to the same decision. “You have to let her be with who she chooses. Obviously she chose someone other than you, you have to accept that,” I told him. I wondered who in the world he was talking about. Maybe Olivia had a new boyfriend? I would have to find out. Or maybe Acacia? And he wished he wouldn’t of have let her go?

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Sirius gradually came back into my life after I had shut him out. Party because of Acacia and partly because I didn’t trust myself around him now that I was with Matt.

We ended up being paired together in almost every class since Lily always went with James leaving me and Sirius alone.

“The instructions are on the board details are in your book. You have one hour!” Slughorn announced.

I tried to go about this the best way I knew, although it wasn’t good enough. I was horrid at potions, Lily usually did most of the work. Except now I was paired with Sirius Black, who didn’t seem too concerned at all. I spent most of the time fussing over it, and trying to help. Sirius did the work, barely even glancing at the directions. He made remarks that made me suppress my laughter more than a few times.

By the end of the hour I was wondering how I could’ve not talked to him for so long. He made me laugh and we had a good time. Sirius always had something to say, even if it wasn’t the smartest thing or if it was at the right time. I realized how much I missed not talking to him.

It took me longer to realize this than it did for him to announce that our potion was finished. I was in shock, and he reassured me that it was right. So I trusted him and handed it in to Slughorn.

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I really didn’t notice it at first. I’d be talking to Matt and Sirius would rush up to me and declare that there was an emergency and demand that I follow him immediately. I did the first time. The second time I did so with reluctance. The third time I refused. He didn’t speak to me the rest of that day. Sirius really had no point in dragging me away from Matt other than just for the sake of doing it. He was acting weird, but I really couldn’t put my finger on it. I was spending all my time with Matt or A’Marie, so I just thought that he felt left out.

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“Hey Bri,” Lily said, sitting on the couch next to me.

“Hey Lily,” I said.

“Listen, how do you feel about Sirius?” she asked me.

“What?” I replied. I was with Matt. Why was she even asking me this?

“Sirius likes you,” Lily told me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

My mind reeled. “He…wait. What?” I repeated, not sure if she had just said what I thought she did.

“Sirius likes you now. He’s really jealous of Matt now. I’d be careful,” Lily advised.

“Are you serious?” I asked her.

“Yes, he won’t stop asking me where you are and what you’re doing when you’re not around. He’s quite annoying,” Lily said with a look of distaste on her face.

“Oh no,” I moaned, burying my head in my hands.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, thoroughly confused. “You liked Sirius!”

“I do,” I replied.

“Then what’s the problem?” she asked me.

Obviously she was too wound up in James to notice anything else lately. Either that or because of the exams coming up, all her studying had pushed me and Matt out of her head.

“Matt,” I said simply.

A look of apprehension dawned on her face. “You’re still going out with him? Oh no, this will not be good,” she said.

“Yeah. Are you sure he likes me?”

Lily nodded.

“I’ve wanted him to like me for so long…and now when he does, I’m with Matt. This is so unfair! Why is he doing this to me!?” I exclaimed.

“Do you still really like Sirius?” Lily asked me.

“I don’t know…but what about Matt? I really like him,” I said. “It doesn’t matter,” I said before Lily could say anything. “I’m with Matt. That’s it. End of conversation.”

“Ok then,” Lily said. “I just thought you might want to know.”

“I do. Thanks Lily.”

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I finally knew why Sirius was acting weird around me.

It was a Saturday, a Hogsmeade Saturday and I was sitting with Matt on one side of a table in the Three Broomsticks with James and Lily on the other side. We were all talking and having a good time. James had his arm around Lily’s waist while Matt was more subtle and held my hand. We were talking about quidditch, and who was going to win the house cup. It was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. Matt blamed it on the pure amount of newbies he had on his team that they didn’t do well.

“I think we’ll win it with no problem,” James said.

“Hufflepuff’s keeper, who is it? Devmon? He’s pretty good. Rarely anyone scores on him,” Matt said.

The little bell over the door rang, and I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see who it was.

Sirius Black peered around the room, but once he saw me and Matt her literally turned around and shoved the girl he was with out of the door. I don’t think he saw me watching him. But I did. And I have to say, I did feel bad. But why didn’t he feel like he could talk to me? Even if Matt was with.

A/N: Alright, some L/J I know, but next chapter they get their scene. I promise. Cross my heart and hope not to die because I’ve still yet to go to the Black Clouds & Underdogs Concert!!!!

Make me happy and review?

Disclaimer: Me? Own Harry Potter? Sure if you’re buying…

Chapter Five: Sometimes It’s Not So Lovely

Three Saturdays from the ‘Hogsmeade Avoidance’ as I called it, I was sitting on the Heads’ couch writing in my little notebook. Homework, things to do, etc, when I put my quill on the notebook, it slid off and fell to the floor. As I stood up, my foot accidentally kicked it underneath the sofa. With my left index finger saving my page, I stooped down and peered under the sofa. It was too far back to reach from my spot, so I walked around to the back of it, in between the back and the wall and tried to grab it. I heard the portrait door wising open, and two loud voices.

“James, it’s not fair! He can’t be doing that!” Lily yelled at him.

“Lils, it’s not his fault! He can’t help how he feels! You act like it’s his fault!” James yelled back.

I decided not to make myself known. I should’ve, I know, but I was witness to plenty of their fights before and I knew from experience that it was best to stay out of the way for fear of being hit by flying objects.

“JAMES! I can’t believe you’re defending him!”

“He’s my best mate!”

“But his behavior is childish! Going about getting a girl all wrong! Again! And you were ENCOURAGING HIM! Of all things!”

“What do you expect!?”

“Something better than that! Bri’s my best friend! She’s happy with Matt! You could at least TRY to talk Sirius out of sabotaging their relationship instead of making plans with him!” Lily yelled.

My stomach was in knots. What was Sirius trying to do?

“I HAVE TO HELP HIM LILY!”

“NO YOU DON’T JAMES POTTER!”

“Yes I do! You know it too.”

“James!

“Lily!”

“Tell him to stop!”

“Lils, I can’t! He will never listen to me!”

“You’re the only one that can get through to him if anyone is able to!” Lily yelled, throwing her hands up in the air. “Just like you! So stubborn and thick-headed.”

“Me? Stubborn? Look who’s talking now,” James fired back at her.

Lily narrowed her eyes, “What do you mean?”

“You’re the most stubborn person I know!”

“ME?! YOU ARE!” Lily yelled back at him.

“Lily he really likes her! You can’t blame him for that,” James said, quieter than he had been and took a step towards her.

Lily lowered her voice, “Does he really? Why now all of a sudden?”

“He did before. He just didn’t know it,” James told her.

“That’s his fault then!”

“Lily she needs to give him a chance!” James argued. “Like you did with me,” he said quietly.

“James,” Lily said softly, “that was different.”

“How?” he asked her, sitting on the couch.

“I liked you back for the longest time, and I was single when you asked me out,” she said sitting next to him on the couch. I saw James wrap his arm around Lily and she rested her head on his shoulder. They were so cute together.

“I feel bad for him, he really likes her,” James said. “Can’t you talk to her? Find out what’s going on?”

“James, I really don’t think that’s very fai-”

“-please Lily?” James pleaded.

“Fine,” she agreed.

“Thank you,” James said, kissing Lily on her forehead.

I rested my head against the back of the sofa. I couldn’t very well just walk out. I managed to fall asleep there with only a few tears escaping.

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“Bri, he’s really beating himself up over this,” Lily told me as she sat down next to me on my bed.

“So? And this is my fault? Like I haven’t all these years? Now he realizes that I was there. That I’m the one he should be with,” I fought back.

“Would you give Sirius a chance?” Lily asked me.

“Not while I’m with Matt. I owe him that. He’s been nothing but lovely to me ever since we met. And Sirius hasn’t, you know that Lily,” I said.

“I know, I know,” Lily replied patting me on my arm.

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It wasn’t the same. Not since I found out that Sirius liked me. I wasn’t sure if Matt knew. I never asked him, and he never said a word. It was unusual, because we usually told each other everything. I found him not looking me in the eye as much, not talking as much as we used to. I felt wounded, like I had done something wrong. Was it really my fault Sirius liked me? How was I supposed to control that? I felt that Matt had been keeping me a safe distance away from his heart now, and was slowly pushing me away. But why? Because he didn’t want to get hurt. I felt for him, I didn’t want to hurt him. I loved Matt, plain and simple. He was always there, no matter what. And what had Sirius done to help me? To console me at all hours of the night when some boy rejected me? Off with his girlfriend. Matt had done so many things for me. The choice should’ve been obvious. But if it were, why was I still debating it?

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I watched James and Lily snuggle together on one of the Gryffindor couches as I had taken to doing lately. It was growing late and the fire was dulling. I was trying to finish up my work, but my eyes kept finding their way to the two figures. They were talking, what about I couldn’t hear, but it was nice. Every so often James would kiss Lily on her forehead or cheek. Sometimes Lily turned her head so that he caught her mouth which took him by surprise. She nuzzled into him and laid down. I saw him stroke her hair as she fell asleep, lying on his lap. As another half-hour passed, I was still working and wondered when James would wake Lily up so he could fall asleep because I could tell he was still awake and was just watching her sleep. When I left for my dorm he was still there.

In the morning I was one of the first people awake and made my way down to the common room. James was sleeping with Lily on his lap in the same position they had been in earlier. He hadn’t woken her up. They were adorable together, as if they were made for one another. They had a certain beauty that hung about them whenever they were together, something that everyone wanted.

And I had that. With Matt.

But the question was.

Did I want it with Sirius more?

A/N: Late late late as usual. My bad. But now here’s the part that you guys come in:

Who should Brina choose? Matt or Sirius? Whoever you guys decide is who she picks in the next chapter, as it and the last chapter have not been written as of yet because it rests upon your decision. Now go and cast your vote and be sure to see which one Brina chooses once chapter six the next-to-last chapter is up!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Sadly enough, neither is Daniel Radcliffe.

Chapter Six: Friends No(,) More

Sirius had now advanced to flirting shamelessly with me while I was talking to Matt. And I could tell Matt was getting quite annoyed. We were trying to have a conversation in the Gryffindor common room, but Sirius kept interrupting and trying to show off. Matt was none too pleased. I found it annoying too, but also a bit humorous. Luckily Lily saw this and dragged Sirius away claiming that James had been looking for him. I made a mental note to thank her later.

Matt turned to me so that he was looking me straight in the eye. “Sirius fancies you,” he told me.

“I know,” I said quietly, lowering my gaze. This was the first time we had ever talked about him.

“Do you fancy him though?” he asked me quite bluntly.

I looked in his eyes that held back any kind of emotion he was feeling. I couldn’t stand to look into them so I averted mine. I had no answer for him.

Matt let go of my hands and stood up, I still didn’t look at him. “Let me know when you make your decision,” he said and exited the common room.

I felt my heart break a little as I watched him walk out.

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“Who are you going to choose?” A’Marie asked me as I sat with her at dinner at the Ravenclaw table.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do Amy. It’s so hard,” I said.

“I know Bri, but it has to be done,” she said. “Whichever one you choose, you’ll be breaking the other’s heart. You have liked Sirius since forever it seems. But you’ve been closer to Matt than you’ve ever been with Sirius. You have pick. It’s your decision, you have to live with it. Don’t choose one because you feel sorry for them. Do it for you or you’ll resent your decision. This is something you have to do by yourself,” A’Marie said wisely. That’s why she was put into Ravenclaw I reminded myself.

“Thanks Amy,” I said.

“Of course Bri,” she replied.

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A couple of days later I was in my dorm when I finally reached my decision. It was hard, too hard. I hoped I had made the right one. I made my way down into the common room and out. I followed the familiar hallways that would lead me to the Ravenclaw common room. What would I say to him? I had nothing planned that I wanted to say. I hoped everything would come out right, although it usually didn’t. While I was racking my brain for something half-decent to tell him, I arrived at the common room. I gave the password and gained admittance. Without stopping to talk to anyone I marched up to the 7^th year boys dorm. I knocked and a voice called for me to come in. I knew it belonged to Matt. When I stepped inside, he was sitting on his bed reading a book. He looked up at me and closed his book. I walked over to his bed, sitting on the one next to his so we were looking at each other.

“Listen,” I started, “it wasn’t easy. And I’m really sorry Matt. You know you mean so much to me and-”

“Just stop,” he interrupted me. “I don’t need to hear it. I know what you’re going to say and I think it’s best that you don’t. You don’t have to say anything. I understand. Go and be happy,” he said quietly, staring into my eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said, lowering my gaze.

“I know. Me too,” he replied.

“Can we still be-”

“Friends? No, I don’t think so,” he told me.

That hurt like nothing else. He was my best friend. He was supposed to understand. “Alright,” I said and started for the door. “Good-bye Matt.”

“’Bye Brina.”

I walked out the door without looking back so he couldn’t see the tears that were starting to fall.

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I kept my head low as I passed through their common room, hoping no one would see me and stop me. The Ravenclaw common room seemed longer than it ever was before, as did the hallways after that. I couldn’t arrive at the safety of Gryffindor tower soon enough it seemed. Just as I reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, I heard a voice call out my name. I spun around and saw Sirius coming towards me with Lily and James walking together behind him. I couldn’t see him, not then. I ran into the common room and dashed up the stairs to my dorm, securing the door behind me. I sat down on my bed and broke down. What had I done?

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The next day Lily woke me up before I usually would so we could talk. I explained to her what had happened with Matt. She understood and said she would tell Sirius to give me some space for awhile, which he did for the next week and a half, until he finally grew tired of waiting, I suppose. I was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, reading a letter from home when Sirius appeared next to me.

“What are you reading?” he asked me.

“A letter,” I replied, not taking my eyes off of the parchment.

“From who?” he asked.

“My mum,” I told him, as I folded it and tucked it into my bag. I turned to face him, looking him in his beautiful eyes. Just looking at them made my stomach twist into little knots.

“Listen Brina,” he said, “will you-”

“Yes,” I answered him, before he could even finish his question.

“Really?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I said and kissed him.

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I earned more than a few nasty looks from various girls as I walked hand-in-hand with Sirius the following day. It was one of the best days of my life. Except at dinner when I caught Matt looking at us, his eyes met mine for a second and I could see the pain in his eyes. I was sorry, but this is what I wanted.

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“Brina!” A’Marie called out to me as Sirius and I were walking around the grounds outside.

We stopped and waited for her to catch up. “Hey Amy,” I greeted her.

“Hi,” she said to me. She turned to Sirius and asked him, “Could I talk to Brina? Alone please?”

He looked between the two of us and nodded, “Sure,” he told her and started towards the castle.

“What is it Amy?” I asked her, since it was written all over her face that something was wrong.

“It’s Matt, I’m worried about him. He’s been so sad. And you haven’t been talking to him,” she said.

“That’s because he said we couldn’t be friends,” I told her, as I felt the tears prick my eyes.

“What? That’s not possible.”

“He did, Amy. He meant it. I know he did. I’m sorry I hurt him, I would’ve avoided it if I could’ve. You know how much he means to me,” I said quietly as A’Marie wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

“I’m so sorry Bri,” A’Marie said.

“Me too.”

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“Night Bri,” Sirius said as he kissed me goodnight.

“’Night Sirius,” I said, walking up the girls’ staircase with Sirius watching me from the bottom step.

A/N: Sooo this the second to last update of this story. The last part is written. The more you review the sooner I post it! Hehe, I’m so evil…

And this chapter’s title? Friends No(,) More

Friends No, More (Sirius)

Friends No More (Matt)

I’m so clever. Lol j/k. Anyways, I’m off now…

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. And I have never claimed it to be mine.

A Good-bye

As I left Hogwarts, I was still called Brina or Bri, but those who didn’t know my name simply referred to me as “Sirius’ Girlfriend” which was nice.

I did find my love that year. My Prince Charming. Except his name was Sirius Black, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t set to inherit any kingdom that I knew about. I knew I had picked the right wizard. Sirius and I were still with one another when school ended. We were inseparable most of the time. Lily and I became closer because of our boyfriends.

Matt did not talk to me, and A’Marie was slipping away because she felt obligated to stay with him. I still talked to her, just not as much as I used to. Dion moved to England with his aunt after school, just to be closer to A’Marie.

Lily and James got engaged the summer after Hogwarts. She told me all about it the next day. We started planning her wedding right there and then. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see that one coming. I think everyone did, except maybe for Lily. But they are perfect for each other. I’m so happy for them.

7^th year I left the life I knew, along with my best friend. But I gained my prince and I was closer with another friend. I guess you can’t have everything when you’re living out your own fairytale.

A/N: Awww this is the end my dearies! I hope you liked it. I know I liked writing it because there’s so much I didn’t write. Because it wasn’t needed. Like Hemmingway’s The Sun Also Rises. And half of you prolly don’t know what the heck I’m talking about so I’m going to let it go.

Thanks to each and every one of you who reviewed. I realize this is really different from most Lily/James stories, and it really doesn’t center around them too much. Oh well, it’s my story after all.

I really like writing sort of short stories like this one. Be on the lookout for more! J