Sans Armor

vea

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 26/04/2006
Last Updated: 26/04/2006
Status: in_progress

James has a plan. Everyone tells him it’s a bad idea. And it really is. He does it anyway. [one-shot]

Chapters

1. Sans Armor

1. Sans Armor

Author's Note: I decided to try a different writing style, so we'll see how that works out.

“This is the worst idea you've ever had.” Sirius Black tosses an apple in the air and nimbly catches it. “And that's saying something, Prongs, considering I've been your sounding board for the past seven years.”

James Potter, walking with his best friends alongside the Hogwarts lake, shakes his head. Remus Lupin adopts a pensive expression for a moment and remarks, “I disagree. Whereas this would only lead to Prongs looking like a complete fool, his idea to steal Slughorn's crystallized pineapple resulted not only in detention for all of us, but also a rather prominent chase through the dungeons.”

Peter Pettigrew titters to himself. “I'd forgotten about that! We scrubbed out cauldrons for a week!”

James mutters unintelligibly and kicks a dying flower, knocking the head off. Sirius swoops down to collect the blossom and sniffs it. Deeming it useless, he carelessly slings it over his shoulder.

“It will work,” James says. “How can it not?”

All three of his friends give him incredulous looks. Remus responds, “First of all, you're not giving her nearly enough credit where credit is due. She's a very intelligent girl.”

Peter adds, “And even I could see through it.”

James sighs, but the determined light in his eyes only burns brighter.

“For your own sanity, Prongs, “Sirius says, “don't do it. How many times have you asked her out without success? I fail to see how this `brilliant plan' will be any different than your other attempts.”

James stops and turns to face his companions. “Look, I know it sounds…absurd…but that's why it'll work! It's actually very simple!”

The other three consult each other wordlessly. James has never been dissuaded on anything when it comes to Lily Evans.

Remus rolls his eyes and asks, “What do you need us to do?”

x-x-x

“So, what do you think, Professor?” James asks hopefully.

Minerva McGonagall quirks an eyebrow and contemplates his proposal. “You would provide everything? I imagine that would make quite a dent in your pocket, Potter.”

He shrugs.

“I might consider it,” she says, leaning forward in her chair and clasping her hands on the desk, “should you guarantee that there will be no banned substances, that everyone will go to bed at a reasonable hour, and that there will be no sign of it the following morning.” She peers at him over her spectacles, and a faint smile graces her mouth. “Merlin knows we could use some cheer.”

James has a problem restraining his glee but manages to contain it; the only sign of his joy is the widest grin Minerva has ever seen him wear.

“Have you informed the Head Girl of your plans?” she asks.

James lets the question roll off his back. “I've got it under control,” he says confidently.

He leaves McGonagall's office with an extra spring in his step.

x-x-x

“I take it you know about Potter's Halloween plan,” Lily Evans says dryly, with just a hint of curiosity.

“How could I not?” Remus gives her a look that is a combination of resignation and amusement.

Lily bites her lip and creases her eyebrows. “Why?”

“Is there really any question about that?”

They both laugh.

x-x-x

“So you've got the order in?” James asks as he scans over his to-do list.

“Of course. Sent the owl out yesterday.” Sirius tries to get a closer look at the parchment, but James hugs it to his chest.

“And you got the one I asked for?” James tilts the list out far enough to make a small checkmark.

“They didn't have the exact one, but it's close enough.”

James is too busy rechecking his list to listen.

“Did you find a wireless?”

“Charles McMillian is lending us one.” James nods absently while Sirius shakes his head and sighs. “There is no way this is going to work.”

x-x-x

James is at breakfast when he spots his owl, Lucy. He eagerly removes the attached letter and feeds her a scrap of toast.

“Dad?” Sirius asks.

“Yeah,” James replies as he tears it open. His eyes hurriedly scan over the letter.

“What's it say?” inquires Peter.

James folds the parchment in half and frowns. “He wants to know if I've been sniffing potion ingredients because there's no way I can pull this off.”

“He's got a point,” says Remus, spreading his jam on his toast.

James mutters, “Nice to know I've got the support of my friends and family.” He eyes the letter and reopens it.

x-x-x

It is two in the morning, three days before Halloween. James sits hunched over a piece of parchment in the common room, his quill scribbling furiously. He stops and rereads a portion, then angrily crosses it out and grumbles under his breath. He jots down two more lines before crumpling up the entire sheet and pitching it into the fire with one hand, tiredly running a hand through his hair with the other. He reaches for another piece of parchment and begins anew.

x-x-x

“You've ruined me!” James laments as he stares at himself in the mirror.

Sirius claps him on the shoulder. A fast-paced song drifts through the door leading to the stairs. “It's all the same. You'll still look ridiculous.”

“It's fine for you to say that,” James retorts. “You got what you wanted.” He looks over himself once more before wrenching his eyes away from the hideous image in front of him. “Everything else is perfect!”

“Keep telling yourself that!” Remus calls from the bathroom.

James groans and covers his eyes with his hands.

x-x-x

Lily stands by the table blanketed in bottles of Butterbeer, smiling and holding a half-eaten Chocolate Frog. “So this is how wizards celebrate Halloween outside of Hogwarts?” she asks her friend Sabrina Ashmore.

Sabrina shrugs, sending her wings bouncing. “Depends. Some people go all out. Personally, I just indulge in as much candy as I can. People like James Potter apparently like to throw lavish parties.”

Lily snickers. “I was talking to Remus. He's under the impression that James is doing this all for me.”

Lily can't see the upper portion of Sabrina's face, but Lily knows her left eyebrow is raised ever so slightly. “How does he figure?”

“I think,” Lily replies sardonically, “that we shall have to see and find out.”

Sabrina chuckles. “Please tell me he doesn't think—”

“I think he does,” Lily says matter-of-factly.

“He can't possibly—he can't… Oh, he would, wouldn't he? Is he really that desperate?”

“So it would seem.” Lily drums her fingers on her chocolate wrapper and scans the room. “I think that's him now.”

Sabrina follows Lily's gaze and snorts Butterbeer out of her nose. “I think I'll leave you alone, Lily. Wouldn't want to interfere or anything.”

Lily laughs and grabs Sabrina's arm to keep her from escaping, but Sabrina twists her arm and darts off, blowing a raspberry over her shoulder.

With a histrionic roll of her eyes, Lily sets her Frog down on the table and crosses her arms self-assuredly, waiting for James to waltz on over and make a performance.

She doesn't have to wait long. As soon as he reaches the bottom of the staircase, he oh so subtly weaves through the crowded common room and toward Lily. She taps her foot thoughtfully and decides to play naïve, so she picks the Frog back up and nibbles at it.

He approaches her, his eyes on the Butterbeer—Lily wonders if he really believes this will work—and is seemingly surprised to see her. “Hello, milady,” he says in a voice much deeper than he normally converses in. “I don't believe we've met.”

Lily is sorely tempted to burst out laughing as she takes in his plumed hat, his puffy shirt and his blue tights. His glossy mask covers the upper portion of his face, but Lily would know those hazel eyes and that mop of black hair anywhere.

“Is that so?” she asks innocently.

He nods. “Wouldst thou care to dance with me?”

Lily bites her lip to keep the giggles from slipping out. He really does think she doesn't recognize him. It's almost adorable, but she is unsure how to respond. She finally says casually, “You really don't have to use that stupid accent, you know.”

It noticeably throws him off. “Er, I beg your pardon?”

Lily quirks her eyebrows. “Come now, James. You think that after all these years we've spent bickering, I wouldn't know you because you've got a feather in your cap?”

“James? I know not of this James,” he replies, feigning confusion.

“I'm not an idiot, James, and I'm insulted that you think otherwise.”

His pleasant disposition fades quickly and he inspects his feet, his arms crossed behind his back. “I guess they were right,” he murmurs despondently.

“A masked ball, Potter? Honestly.”

His eyes do not move from his outlandish shoes. “I know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” James sighs. “I was going to be your knight in shining armor,” he admits.

“But…” Lily eyes his outfit once more.

“I know,” he says, gesturing at his getup. “Sirius ordered me the wrong costume. Says they were out of suits of armor.”

“I see…” Lily doesn't know what to say, so she takes a bite of chocolate. When she's swallowed, she asks, “Did you really arrange all this so I would dance with you?”

A faint blush tinges his cheeks. “Sort of. I wanted to… I don't know, sweep you off your feet, tell you how I feel.”

“And you can't do that any other way?”

“Well, no!” He straightens up. “You hate me.”

Lily cocks her head. “Who told you that?”

“Erm, everyone.”

“Have you ever thought to ask me?”

He has no response to that.

Lily makes a noncommittal noise and bites off another piece of her Frog.

After a minute or so, he asks, “Do you hate me?”

Lily pretends to consider this. “No,” she says simply.

“Oh.” He's clearly startled.

“And how do you feel about me?” she asks, a smile lightly tugging at her lips.

He laughs nervously. “I, er, you know, like you.” Pause. “A lot.”

“But you thought I was foolish enough to fall for this ball scheme.”

“Yeah…” He raises his hand to run it through his hair, a habit Lily has come to find endearing, but drops it when he remembers he's wearing a hat. A very silly hat. “I had this all planned out. We'd dance, and I'd charm you with sweet words, and at midnight I'd reveal who I am and you'd… you know, go out with me.” He looks at her sheepishly.

Lily wants him to keep talking. “Sweet words?”

“I had them all written out and everything,” he explains, and then stops because he realizes how juvenile it sounds. Lily doesn't mind, but she doesn't say so.

“What kind of things?”

He gives her a strange look, unsure if she's playing with him or not. “Oh, things like `This isn't some ephemeral infatuation,' things like that.”

“What else?”

“And… Oh! That your eyes sparkle like emeralds, and I sometimes sit there thinking about them.” His eyes widen at his own boldness. “But I'm not stalking you or anything,” he adds hastily, trying to hide his cringe.

“I would hope not,” Lily replies smartly. “What comes after the eyes? The hair?”

He's warming up to this. “No, the hair comes a little later. Next I tell you how smart you are—oh. Well, you are really clever. Guess I should've known you'd figure things out…”

“What happens after you invite me to dance? Do I say something along the lines of, `Yes, I'd be ever so honored'?”

A hesitant smile creeps onto his lips. “Something like that.”

“And then…”

“I take your hand, like so.” He sets her Chocolate Frog on the table, then gently takes her hand and awkwardly brushes his lips across it.

“And we dance?”

“That we do, milady.”

This entire situation is so ludicrously bizarre that she can't fight the grin that is fighting to break out across her face. “Well, my nameless prince, I would love a dance with you.”

“Most excellent, milady.” James is grinning like a fool in love. As he links his arm through hers, he asks, “Have I mentioned how much I love your crown?”

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