The Importance of A Moment

Calmacil20

Rating: PG13
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 22/05/2006
Last Updated: 22/05/2006
Status: completed

The end can come in two ways, and a single momement decides it all. (Note: the demise of Voldemort is my own idea, and not based on any solid facts.)

Chapters

1. Softly Before I Scream

2. The Only Answer That Matters

1. Softly Before I Scream

Voldemort was dead.

At last, after more deaths, more destruction, and more fear than any sane person could imagine, the Dark Lord was gone, freeing the world from his shadow. There would be no more terror in going out at night, no more fear of what would be lurking in the shadows.

It was over.

But Hermione Granger couldn't stop screaming.

She was on her knees in a darkened cave, surrounded by Aurors, Neville, Luna, Ron and most of the rest of the Weasley family. There were also the Death Eaters they had managed to capture before they could flee from the cave.

The Death Eaters looked defeated and miserable, for their lord and master was gone and they were revealed.

The Aurors and the rest looked shocked and heart-broken, for the same reason Hermione was screaming; in her arms was Harry Potter's lifeless body.

Inside, it seemed like a fire was ripping through her, burning up anything that mattered. She couldn't see the people around her, hear the words of comfort they were trying to say. The hands on her shoulders, that meant to be comforting, felt like stones.

All she heard was the way Harry said her name and the way he laughed.

All she could feel was his body in her arms when she hugged him, the comfort he gave just by being around and the joy he had brought to her life.

All she could see was him walking towards her, the green of his eyes, and finally, the last moment the two had ever shared.

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It was in this very cave, only moments ago, although it felt like another life.

He and Voldemort were dueling, and very much like what Harry said had happened when Voldemort had first returned during their fourth year, their wands had connected and a fierce battle between the two followed, with the people on both sides of the battle left with nothing but to watch. She wasn't sure which spells they were both using, but they looked powerful.

Herself, Harry, and Ron had, over the course of their seventh term, hunted down and destroyed the Horcuxes, a puzzling, dangerous job that nearly at one point or another had them all at Death's door. Yet together, they always managed to make it back. As time passed, and more and more information had been revealed, Hermione had seen a growing change in Harry.

From the start he appeared resigned, as if he already knew how this was all going to end, which he was why he had wanted to do it alone, but the closer they got, the more he tried to push them away, trying to ease his friends' pain in what he thought was his path's inevitable end. She had fought those feelings, constantly telling him that there was more than one way for this to end - that Harry had a choice and that they would all make it out okay.

He also seemed to be hiding something; some small tidbit of information that he had garnered during their adventures but no matter what she or Ron tried, he wouldn't say what it was, or even if there was anything he was keeping to himself.

This brought them to the cave, Harry and Voldemort locked in a duel that would decide the fate of the world, Wizarding and Muggle alike. It was a hard fought battle but Harry was holding his own exceedingly well. She kept thinking that he was going to do it, that she was right - he was going to defeat Voldemort and everything would be okay. Voldemort look enraged and strained and to her surprise, Harry looked calm and strong, as if he had been preparing for this moment all his life.

The point where the two spells met danced back and forth between the two, as their wills strained to dominate the others'. Suddenly it started creeping towards Voldemort, to his great terror, and he seemed to put all of himself into countering it. This is it, Hermione thought, this is where it ends! She was looking at Harry, pride and love - a love she had shied away from for years out of fear that it wouldn't be returned, but had finally embraced in that moment - shining in her eyes when, to her complete surprise, Harry looked at her. Why the bloody hell was he looking at her when he should be concentrating on Voldemort?

Then she saw the look in his eyes and she felt her heart drop; he was looking at her with the resignation she had battled against this whole time, like he was about to give up. She started to pull her own wand out of her pocket and move towards them, desperate to do anything to help when Harry suddenly smiled at her, a smile full of compassion, understanding and, dare she dream it, love! His eyes, that just seconds ago showed defeat, now seemed proud and glowing. He nodded at her, just once, and then he let the connection go.

Voldemort's energy rushed towards Harry like a snake, and just when it should have hit him there was a great explosion of light and thunder and then everyone saw Voldemort go spinning away, light leaking from him like water from a vase and with a last terrible scream, he erupted in golden light, vanishing forever.

Harry also went flying away, landing hard on the ground, but still moving. The Aurors raised their voices in celebration, some swooping in on the stunned Death Eaters, others embracing each other in pure joy. For a moment they all seemed to have forgotten about Harry and in the confusion Hermione rushed over to him. She could hear cheers from the Aurors but they were pushed to the back of her mind when she knelt beside Harry.

He was bleeding profusely and the light was leaving his eyes. She put his head on her lap, calling desperately for help but her voice was lost in all the noise. Suddenly she heard his voice, barely above a whisper, say her name.

She looked down at him, the tears welling up in her eyes as he stared up at her and smiled.

“I'm sorry Hermione,” he said, coughing. “It had to be this way.”

“No,” she said, running her fingers through his wet hair. “You're going to be fine Harry. We're going to get you better.”

“There's nothing to be done. It was the way of the spell and the connection between Voldemort and me.”

“What spell? What connection?” she asked. “What do you mean?”

He coughed again, this time harder, blood spattering his lips. “The one I've been keeping from you this whole time; the one I knew would end things. It doesn't matter now. It's over. I get to see my parents again, and Sirius, and Dumbledore, and all the people I love.”

She felt a great wave of pain welling up insider her, threatening to swallow her completely.

“Everyone except you,” he said, causing a shocked gasp to escape her lips. “I wish we could have been together Hermione. You must know that you got me through all of this, even though you may not have realized it and I may have acted like a git every now and then, but I've come to love you more than I thought was ever possible.”

“Then don't leave,” she begged, her voice as quiet as his own now. Finally people were starting to realize that something was wrong and hurrying over.

He feebly reached up with one of his hands and gently caressed her check. “If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that Sirius was right - that the ones that love us never really leave us. They're always there. I want you to be happy Hermione. That's all I've ever wanted.”

By now there was a ring of people around the two on the ground, a horrorstruck look on their faces.

“Harry, please,” she said, feeling the last ounces of her strength give way.

He looked at her with the green eyes she would never forget, smiled and said, “Goodbye my love,” and breathed his last, his eyes closing forever.

Something inside of her snapped, and every feeling of pain, anger and sorrow that she had held back all these years erupted out of her in a scream that filled the cave.

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After who knows how long, her voice finally cracked and she wept, her head bowed down as if by some great weight, her tears falling onto Harry's face. In between sobs she gasped his name, as if by her own force of will she could bring him back into existence.

Deep inside her, in the logical part of herself that she had always let rule her she knew that there was nothing she could do now, that he was gone where she couldn't reach him, but for one of the few times in her life, she pushed that side away, clinging desperately to the fleeting thought that he might come back.

“Hermione, love, you have to let him go,” she heard Mrs. Weasley, her voice thick with tears, say as she placed her arms on her shoulders.

“No,” she said, wrapping her arms even tighter around the body, every part of her wanting to die and join Harry.

Suddenly there were more arms on her pulling her away from the one person she had truly loved. She screamed and cried, wailing with all her heart as they were finally separated and she was dragged away.

She struggled and kicked and managed to free herself, running back to Harry and softly kissing his lips, tears anew springing into her eyes, running down her cheeks, over her lips and onto his.

He was gone. She knew it and let it all out - all the sorrow and heart-break she felt, and sobbed. This time she didn't resist as the arms gently drew her away, cradling her like a child as she fell into blackness.

On Harry's lip was a lone teardrop from his and Hermione's first, and last, kiss.

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2. The Only Answer That Matters

Voldemort was dead.

At last after more deaths, more destruction, and more fear than any sane person could imagine the Dark Lord was gone, freeing the world from his shadow. There would be no more terror in going out at night, no more fear of what would be lurking in the shadows.

It was over.

He had worked for this for years, enduring more trials and sufferings than many wizards double his age had to face but the fact that Voldemort was dead barely seemed to matter to Harry Potter. Not now.

It shouldn't have ended like this, he thought to himself, fighting hard against the tears that threatened to come at any moment. He wrapped his arms tighter around Hermione Granger's motionless body, and repeated; not like this.

He was surrounded by a ring of people but they barely registered in Harry's mind. He knew that Ron was there, along with most of the Weasley family; Neville and Luna were there too. There were Aurors also, Tonks and Lupin among them. All stared at the ground, many with tears rolling down their cheeks.

And there were the Death Eaters, now rendered impotent since Voldemort was no more. They looked shattered and shocked, completely surprised that their lord and master was gone.

They didn't know the meaning of shattered; they didn't know what it was like to lose the person they loved most and carry that guilt.

Harry felt completely hollowed out, like the most important parts of him were gone and he doubted if they would ever come back. The loss he felt was so great that he could barely stand to think about it; the hole in him could never be filled.

It was supposed to be me, Harry thought bitterly to himself as he hugged Hermione to him and closed his eyes; his mind was going over the last moment they shared.

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It was in this very cave, only moments ago although it felt like another life.

He was dueling with Voldemort for what he knew to be the last time. Their wands had connected like they had back in the graveyard at the end of the fourth year, this time both of them using far more powerful spells. It was all going as he knew it would. He was dimly aware of other people - Death Eaters and Aurors alike - left with nothing to do but watch as he and Voldemort came to the end of their road.

Himself, Hermione and Ron and devoted the majority of their last term at Hogwarts to seeking out and destroying the Horcruxes, a mission that was more challenging and dangerous than he ever could have imagined. He supposed he should have figured it would be, because they were dealing with Voldemort, after all. He couldn't count how many times himself or one his friends had come close to dying, but somehow had always managed to walk away.

A lot of secrets had been revealed - about Voldemort, about his own life and so many other things that he could barely keep track of them all - during their journeys. The more they learned, the more he wanted to go on alone. It wasn't that he wanted to be by himself but from the beginning he had an idea of how it was all going to end and after much pain had accepted it, and he wanted to spare his friends as much pain as was possible.

Of course, Hermione wouldn't hear of it and not only insisted that she and Ron accompany Harry always, but she was also adamant about the fact that it didn't have to end the way Harry thought; he had choices and they would all be okay in the end. She had fought so hard for and with him that he continually marveled at her courage and loyalty, though he should not have been surprised. He especially did not want to put her through anything more than need be.

But she didn't know what he knew; what he couldn't let anyone else know, because they would try to stop him - try to find another way, and he knew there was no other way. He had stumbled upon this secret completely by accident, after destroying one of the Horcruxes, but had never said a word to anyone about it, nor even admitted it existed. It was how it had to be, Harry had told himself time and time again.

All of which brought them to the cave, dueling for the fate of the world. Harry knew he was in for a hard fight when he had walked into the cave, telling himself he had to be strong. He knew he needed to hold out as long as he could, getting Voldemort to drain as much of himself as was possible.

He held his own pretty well and for a second marveled at how much he had grown, that he was able to be a challenge for someone like Voldemort; but after all, his whole life had been pointing towards this confrontation. He didn't have much time for self-congratulation, however.

He knew what he had to do.

The point where their spells met kept dancing back and forth between them, as each put all they had into it. Finally his own spell started pushing Voldemort's back and Harry wished he could've seen the look on the dark wizard's face once he realized he was losing to a mere boy. To everyone watching this probably looked like the end, Harry thought to himself. He wished it was that easy. If he was going to do what he had to, the time was now.

Before he did it, he turned his head and looked once more at the person that he had come to love more than he ever could have thought possible: Hermione.

The pride and joy he saw shining in her eyes as she looked at him nearly ripped him in two. He had never dared to dream that she would love him as much as he loved her; he'd always thought they were just best friends to her, but when he saw the light in her eyes he lost all his resolve and for a moment the sorrow he had been fighting took over.

For a moment he allowed that sorrow to envelope him; he thought of all the things he was going to miss, all the things he was never going to get a chance to do and last of all, he thought that he would never be able to tell Hermione the truth about how he felt. He only allowed the sorrow to have a moment, but it stretched a moment longer than he'd meant it to.

I've got to be strong, he told himself, if for nothing else than for her, and looked up, hoping the smile on his face and the love he felt would tell her everything he needed to know.

He looked up too late.

She must have thought he was giving up or something, because she was suddenly moving towards them, her wand drawn and a look of determination on her face. He wanted to scream at her to go back! Run for it!

But Voldemort had followed Harry's gaze and saw Hermione coming towards them. He suddenly broke their connection and sent his spell flying towards Hermione. Before she even knew what was happening the venom green beam hit her dead on. The “NO!” that came screaming from Harry filled up the entire cave and he watched in horror like he had never experienced before as she went flying backwards.

Voldemort went spinning backwards too, light starting to pour out of him. Harry knew that if was ever to destroy him, it was now, and shot the same spell he had been dueling with right at him, hitting him straight on and with a last terrible scream, he exploded in golden light, disappearing for ever.

Hermione hit the ground hard but she appeared to be moving, which must have been why instead of rushing over to her, the Aurors suddenly started shouting in celebration, hugging each other and grabbing the Death Eaters before they had a chance to escape. No one seemed to notice Hermione but Harry. He ran over to her, his heart threatening to jump out of chest.

He knelt down beside her and rested her head on his lap as he looked her over. She was bleeding heavily and her beautiful eyes were starting to dim. He called out for help, but he barely had any voice left, and no one heard him. She murmured his name and he looked down at her, brushing the stray strands of hair out of her face.

“Harry, I'm sorry,” she said, coughing.

“Why'd you do that?!” he said, feeling his face grow warm and tears start to build up. “It was supposed to be me Hermione! That was how it was supposed to end! Why?”

“Do you really not know?” she asked.

She just looked at him, a faint smile on her lips and to his surprise, Harry found he couldn't respond to her question. He just didn't have the words, so instead of answering her he revealed the secret he'd kept all this time.

“I've know the answer for weeks now; the way to destroy Voldemort. I figured it out by chance after we destroyed one of the Horcruxes. It was right there in front of me all of my life and I just couldn't see it: self-sacrifice. My parents sacrificed themselves for me, Sirius died for me, and even Dumbledore. That was the one thing that Voldemort didn't understand the power of. The only reason he wasn't completely destroyed by it when my parents died was that he was at his full strength. I figured that if I could weaken him, draw out all of his strength until there was nothing else in him and then sacrificed myself, he would be destroyed. It had to be me that finished it, because of the connection we share. It's the same simple, pure magic he could never understand.”

With a faint laugh, Hermione said, “Well you git, looks like I beat you to it. I did the sacrificing bit and you just had to finish him.”

To hear her laugh at something like that, so innocent and loving like she had always been, twisted his insides into a knot.

Ron and the rest of the Weasleys finally noticed Harry and Hermione and everyone started to rush over to them.

“Please Hermione, don't leave,” Harry said, his voice starting to crack. “I've lost too many people I care about, I can't lose you, too. Stay with me…please”

Hermione just smiled faintly at him, and a tear trickled down her face. “I'll never really leave you Harry. You know where to find me,” she said and reached up and lightly pressed her hand against his heart, for a second only, before it dropped back to her side.

By now he was surrounded by people, a look of utter misery on their faces.

“Hermione, please,” he begged, wrapping her in his arms and feeling his heart break.

She looked at him one last time with those wonderful deep eyes and said, “Goodbye my love,” and breathed her last, closing her eyes forever.

Something inside of him snapped and he felt a great rage and sadness swallow him completely. His tormented howl echoed over and over through the cave.

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He sat there on the floor of the cave, still holding her in his arms, at a loss as to what to do. He knew she was gone, that she had gone to join so many of the people he loved but he couldn't bring himself to let her go. He started rocking and repeating her name, as if he could bring her back just by wanting it bad enough.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard Mrs. Weasley say, in between sobs, “Harry dear, she's gone. You've got to let her go.”

“I can't,” he replied, the tears coming nearer.

The hand on his shoulder didn't move and he asked the same question he couldn't get over aloud, “Why'd she do it.?”

“She did it because she loved you dear,” was the response. “She loved you enough to give her life for you. Surely you must see that.”

And at last, after all the thoughts, imaginations and fears were finally cleared away, he saw it: she did love him, more than he'd ever hoped for.

That was the final crack and he broke completely, not even fighting the hot tears that came streaming down his face or the chocked sobs that came from his throat. He wanted nothing more than to stay here and hold her forever.

But the part of him that had always been the courageous part, the part that Hermione had been so integral in creating, even if she never knew it, told him that he had to let her go, that she wouldn't want him to stop living because of her. Even though she was gone, she was still helping him, and he couldn't stop the faint smile that flickered across his face.

“Harry, dear,” Mrs. Weasley said again and this time he nodded, slowly laying his one true love's head on the ground. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips as the tears rolled down his cheeks, and then allowed the strong hands to lift him up, and help him walk away.

On Hermione's lip was a lone teardrop from her and Harry's first, and last, kiss.

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