Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

A/N: The inspiration came from a challenge by mycha_kk at portkey, but I didn't follow some of the rules…

Got to thank Twitch E. Ferret my beta reader—thanks for putting up with me ;)

Oh yeah, my first fiction here—read, review and enjoy!

Disclaimer: You all know I don't own the characters—they belong to the venerable JK Rowling…I don't get any money from it—just kicks!

Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

Chapter 1

It was a clear moonlit night; a lone female figure could be seen on the top of the Astronomy Tower as she looked out towards the Forbidden forest. She looked up to the sky, awed with the beauty of the night sky. Gazing at the sparkling stars and their half moon companion, she pulled her cloak tightly around herself trying to warm up in the brisk late spring air. Her smile became whimsical as she reflected on the events that had occurred three weeks before. Her husband of six months, as tonight would be their sixth month anniversary, had finally fulfilled his supposed destiny by finishing off one of the darkest wizards in history.

Harry Potter was no longer the `Boy who Lived' but the `Man who Saved'. She had a proud expression on her face as she recalled when her husband had told her that she was his inspiration in delivering the final blow to Lord Voldemort.

“I thought of you love, the life we have, the life we could lead free from any danger…you were my driving force. I vowed to protect you and offer you happiness as my wife. By Merlin I swore to you—you were the power he knew not…It was you.”

A small smile formed as she heard the door creak, then she felt two strong arms wrap around her as lips nuzzled her nape.

“You're late…”

“You're stunning…”

She let out an uncharacteristic giggle as she turned in his arms to face her husband, “You're forgiven.”

They smiled at each other as their lips met opening and tasting each other. They both broke the kiss when they felt that their lungs needed air.

Harry inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of his wife of cinnamon and vanilla. He closed his eyes and let his forehead rest against hers, feeling her small soft hands running up and down his spine under his jumper.

“I don't know how much longer I can take this…” he mumbled, then moaned as those exploring hands moved to his chest.

Obviously misunderstanding her spouse's complaint, “Thank Merlin we have private quarters then…” she whispered back as she kissed his forehead, barely grazing the lighting bolt scar. She started to rain kisses on his face and his jaw line. She brought her lips to the corner of Harry's mouth and he turned his head instinctively trying to capture her lips. She let out another giggle when she moved her lips down his neck and felt the vibrations as he growled.

“Minx…”

“Yes I am, and you would not have me any other way.” She whispered in his ear as she playfully nipped his earlobe. She sighed, as her husband's callused fingertips skimmed her sides, moaning when they brushed the under side of her breasts.

“Harry, let's take this to our bedroom.” she pleaded, but as she led him toward the door, he held her back.

“Love, I can't take this anymore…”

“Harry, that's why we're going back to our bedroom.” She stated as she rolled her eyes. “By the way, you did finish the final sweep of the castle didn't you?”

Harry smirked at his wife as she went into her “Head Girl Mode” ticking off their duties. “Aye darling, I did finish the final sweep of the castle, it did help a lot though when I used the map. Ron and Luna were none too happy when I opened the broom closet on the third floor!” he chuckled remembering his best friend's reaction, then adding nonchalantly, “Oi, I finally found out who Ginny's mystery man is…”

“Well, don't keep me hanging then! Who is it?”

Harry took a dramatic pause then said, “Ferret Boy.”

His wife's chocolate brown eyes probed his emerald ones trying to decipher if he was joking, she gasped and muttered, “Bloody hell!”

Harry laughed, hearing his wife swear was as rare seeing a hippogriff dance the tango. “Yes love, I kid you not!”

“Ginny and Malfoy?! That is just…” she paused trying to search for the proper word, “Wrong…Oh Harry! I have a sinking feeling that this is our fault!”

Harry looked at her with shock, “What?! What do you mean `our fault'? We did not wrap Ginny up and leave her in the Slytherin Common Room! She is a big girl now, despite what Ron thinks. Plus, I think Malfoy - in spite of his rotten attitude- proved his worth when he turned and fought with us against Voldemort.” He was amazed that he, Harry Potter had defended his former nemesis.

His wife shook her head, “I mean, what if you scarred her for life by breaking up with her last year? May be that's why she hooked up with Malfoy! Do you not see? Ginny's trying to get your attention by hooking up with your former archenemy!”

Harry laughed at his spouse's ridiculous assumption, but when he caught her glaring at him he stopped and said, “Gosh love, if you put it that way…Can you imagine Ginny's reaction then when she finds out that we're married? Why she may end up shacking up with Snape himself!”

“Ah then that's why we still keep this a secret…”

“No! NO! I cannot handle it anymore! I will not allow this charade to go on! We agreed to keep our marriage a secret for your protection,” Harry heard his wife give an unfeminine snort at his outburst, “But now that the last of the Death Eaters have been captured, we can finally begin living our lives as it was meant to be.”

She watched her handsome spouse as he ran his hands through his already messy raven hair in frustration and turned his back on her. She knew that he was irritated; she wasn't known as the smartest witch of her age for nothing, and judging by Harry's body language she didn't need many neurons to deduce what he was feeling.

Wrapping her arms around her Harry she buried her face in his stiff back. Immediately feeling him soften, she kissed the nape of his neck and whispered, “Soon Harry…Our time will come soon.”

Harry turned in her arms, looking down into her eyes he said, “Love, soon is not fast enough for me. Gods, not one person in this bloody school has any idea that we're even more than friends — not even Ron knows and he's our best friend!”

“We've been that good eh?”

“Stop being smug! I'm serious…”

“Oh my, and here I thought you were Harry all this time! Been at the polyjuice potion I see, taking a page from Barty Junior eh? Well `Sirius' how shall we tell your godson that I've been shagging the wrong man—not that I'm complaining!”

“Har har har.” Harry grumbled, “Fine play it that way. I bet the reason you don't want to tell the world you're Mrs. Harry Bloody Potter is because you're still stringing Krum along!”

She pulled away from him and gasped at his accusation, “HARRY JAMES POTTER! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF ADULTERY!” she screamed in a tone that would make Molly Weasley proud.

Harry actually cowered back, “Well, I know he sent you flowers…”

“Which I threw away…”

“Then those letters…”

“Which I never replied to.”

“Then he sent you those Bulgarian sausages—which I know has a double meaning to that gift!” Harry said with a strangled voice while wagging his finger in the air.

She giggled, “Please! You out of all people should know that you have nothing to worry about in the `sausage department' Mr. Potter. In fact,” she ran her hand over her husband's crotch and felt him stiffen immediately. “I bet no one in the world has created a sausage large enough to compete with yours…”

Harry blushed, he knew that she was trying to distract him from his train of thought, and he also knew that she was doing a splendid job at it. His plan was not going accordingly, he had wanted someone to catch them here at the infamous Astronomy Tower. He had left obvious hints with Ron, Seamus, Dean, and Neville that he was going here. Even mentioning it when Filch was near enough to hear during dinner at the Great Hall in hopes that they would come and check out whom he was going to meet. Harry realized that his friends were actually a bunch of dimmocks! He and his wife had been here for about an hour and no one even came up—but hey, Filch wouldn't resist the temptation of having caught the Head Boy with some girl snogging on the Astronomy Tower right? WRONG! Filch wasn't in sight—not even Mrs. Norris. Harry felt his wife tug his hand and he let her lead him to the door, she turned around and gave him a deep passionate kiss that made him forget his name as they exited the tower and headed for their private chambers.

XXXXX

“Oi mate! Where have you been?” Dean shouted as Ron came into the seventh year boys' dormitory.

“Could tell you mate, but might make you jealous that I'm getting some and you're not getting any…” Ron replied as he swaggered to his bed.

Dean threw a pillow at him in reply.

“Aye, did you lot see Potter? He mentioned something about the Astronomy Tower.” Seamus asked from his bed.

“Mate, he caught me and Luna doing the deal at the broom closet on the third floor. Why Finnigan, never knew that you felt that way about Harry—miss him? Eh, Harry may be my best friend, never thought of him as queer but better you than me Seamus!” Ron replied while he wiggled his eyebrows at his roommate.

“Shut it Weasley! Just because you got some action doesn't mean you could come in here acting like King Weasley!” Seamus growled.

“He did mention the Astronomy Tower to me too during dinner. Then Harry came in here looking for you Ron, said that if you needed him he'd be at the Astronomy Tower after night shift to meet his lady love.” Neville added.

“Well, did any of you blokes go to the Astronomy Tower to see who Harry's lady love is?” Ron asked thoroughly intrigued now.

“Nah, seeing that you didn't ask about Harry, we didn't feel obligated to see who Potter was hooking up with. He deserves a major snog anyway—hell he deserves a good shag in my opinion, considering all he's been through!” Dean answered as Neville and Seamus nodded their agreement.

Ron mulled over the information, rubbing his chin he thought, “Lady love? Harry has a `lady love'? Wait a minute…No, it can't be Ginny can it? He did break up with her a year ago `for her protection' he said—Voldemort is now gone…so…Merlin! It has to be Ginny! She has been acting strange for the past few weeks…I did catch her sneaking out of the common room late at night one time…hmm…it has to be Ginny!” He could feel a smile growing on his face at this thread of thought, “I've got to ask Hermione! Yeah, Hermione should know! She and Ginny shares secrets, and since she and Harry stay together at the Head Students' Chamber, Hermione would be bound to know if Harry has been sneaking out during the night too.”

Ron abruptly got up, his energy back he smirked at his three roommates. “Well what are you waiting for? Let's go see what Harry's up to at the tower!”

“Mate have you lost you're marbles? Filch might catch us, and I don't think Harry would even still be there!” Dean countered.

“The way I see it, Harry probably just finished the nightly rounds right about now, seeing that he caught me and Luna half an hour ago and he was just at the third floor! Harry would have probably escorted Hermione back to their quarters then went up to the tower, if we hurry we can catch him when things are about to get interesting. Plus he may have hooked up with Ginny again, so if Harry would be meeting her then I would want to be there to stop them from doing anything!” Ron explained.

The other three boys looked at each other then at the redhead, they gave a slight nod and stood up too. They put on their trainers and grabbed their cloaks as they followed Ron out the portrait hole.

XXXXX

“Now where could they be, Albus?”

“They may still be doing their rounds of the castle, Minerva.”

“But Albus, I have to still update Mr. Potter to the awarding ceremony at the Ministry of Magic! That boy has no idea what's going to happen when he receives the Order of Merlin first class—and we all know how important protocol is in those ceremonies and Mr. Potter is not one who follows etiquette!”

“Don't worry, Harry will follow whatever procedures the Ministry has for him, he IS quite fond with the new Minister of Magic. Plus I'm sure Hermione will keep him in line…” Remus Lupin added.

Dumbledore smiled at the connection his DADA professor made between his two head students, “Tell me Remus, any news about those two?”

Lupin sighed, “None Albus! It's honestly ridiculous how close those two are and still keep it on a platonic level! I try to catch any lingering contact, any unwarranted glances during my classes but those two still act…closer but at the same—best friends till the end! I even try to keep my ears open to any rumors circulating about them, especially after the fall of Voldemort. I thought Harry would make his move knowing that he can now have a real relationship with Hermione, but I see nothing! Even the ever digging Rita Skeeter has stopped printing any dirt on those two for quite a while now.”

“Albus, what date did you wager?” McGonagall asked.

“Fifty galleons on Valentine's Day,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Dear Merlin! You mean you lost? Well, I'll be a flobberworm's uncle! I never thought that I would live to see the day that the Mighty Albus Dumbledore lost a bet in a faculty pool!” Lupin exclaimed.

“Pray tell then Remus, what date did you place your galleons on?” Dumbledore challenged.

Lupin smirked sheepishly, “Fifty on Christmas eve.”

“Oh my, that was a long shot…How much is the pot?” McGonagall asked.

“I believe it has reached one thousand five hundred and five galleons.” Lupin answered.

McGonagall gawked at the large amount but something bothered her, “Five?”

“Hmm…Severus waged the five galleons after Filius chided him for not joining the pool.” Lupin said with a smirk.

“And what date did our Potions Master have?” Dumbledore asked.

“April fools Day,” Dumbledore laughed at this as Lupin continued, “Since Severus had the last date on the pool, and mind you it has passed without any fanfare, no one has officially won the pot…now what do we do with the money?”

“Give it back?” McGonagall suggested. She too waged fifty galleons on when Harry and Hermione would have formally been a couple.

“That would not be sporting now would it? Well, I guess something will come up on how we can put into good use the money.” Dumbledore said.

The Headmaster of Hogwarts, Head of Gryffindor House, and the Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts were in the common room of the Head Boy and Girl chambers. They had gone there for the purpose of orienting `The Man who Saved' about the award he was to receive in the next couple of days. Having decided that there was no time better than the present to begin this task, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Lupin (due to his close connection to the awardee) they went to the Head's tower. Being the Headmaster of the school, Dumbledore knew the password to the Head Students Chambers so they entered awaiting the arrival of the head students.

Imagine their surprise when four young men from Gryffindor House came tumbling through the portrait door of the Head Students' Chambers.

“MISTERS WEASLEY, THOMAS, FINNIGAN AND LONGBOTTOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR DORMATORY PAST CURFEW?!” McGonagall shrieked. “Ten points from Gryffindor for each of you! Mind you it pains me to take points off from my very own House. You will also be serving detention for three days each with Professor Snape!”

A collective groan was heard from the four men.

“Told you Weasley that it was a bad idea to come here…” Seamus began.

“It's all Weasley's fault, Professor!” whined Dean.

“Bloody hell! Traitors I say! I ought to…” Ron said threateningly as he advanced towards the pair, Neville just remained silent.

“MISTER WEASLEY! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! Five more points from Gryffindor!” McGonagall continued.

Ron immediately shut his mouth as his face burned bright red in embarrassment and anger. He gave dirty looks at Dean and Seamus, who returned his angry looks with glares of their own.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, and with a twinkle in his eyes he asked, “And to what do we owe your presence in the Head Chambers at this hour?”

Ron answered, “Harry wanted us to meet him after his night rounds, headmaster.”

Lupin, rubbing his chin in contemplation said, “Well seeing that I have students in my midst, I may as well take the opportunity to ask you gentlemen a question. Do not worry what your answer is it will not get you into any more trouble.” Remus purposely turned toward their head of house, and when he saw her nod he continued. “There's a buzz that I overheard from some Ravenclaw students—is it true that there is a pool among the students of Hogwarts on when the Head Boy and Girl will formally become an item?”

The Gryffindor boys looked first at each other, then at the headmaster and their professors uncomfortably.

“Uh…well I suppose there would be no harm in telling you considering that no one won the pool…” Neville began.

“Aye, no winner indeed.” Seamus agreed as Dean nodded.

“No winner?” McGonagall burred as the four boys cringed instinctively.

“You see Professor, there was a pool among the students on when Harry and Hermione would hook up, but all the dates have passed with no winner. So we're stuck with a two thousand nine hundred fifty galleon pot that won't go anywhere. But we're planning to use it for an end of the year ball.” Ron said dejectedly, thinking of his monetary loss in the bet.

The two professors and Headmaster looked at each other with astonishment in their eyes upon hearing the amount of the students' pool. They did keep their remarks to themselves though.

“On that note then, shall we all wait comfortably for our Head students to finish their duties?” Dumbledore conjured up extra seats for the boys, and then uttered, “Dobby”

After a few seconds a pop was heard as Dobby the house elf appeared wearing his trademark mismatched socks and a purple and orange scarf.

“Good evening Dobby, may we request some hot chocolate for all of us here? If it isn't too much of an imposition as we await the arrival of Mr. Potter and Miss Granger.” Dumbledore asked politely.

“Oh not a burden at all Headmaster! But why do you wait for Harry Potter and his Hermione since Harry Potter and his Hermione has been in their bedchambers for a while now.” Dobby replied as he disappeared and in a few seconds reappeared with a tray of hot cocoa and a plate of cookies. He placed the tray on the table near the headmaster and the professors and disappeared again.

The seven present looked at each other; the boys just shrugged as McGonagall stood up muttering something under her breath in an annoyed fashion. She started toward the bedroom of the Head Boy followed by Dumbledore and Lupin, and the boys rounded up the end.

McGonagall knocked on the door, “Mr. Potter?” she was answered with silence, “Mr. Potter?” she repeated loudly.

“Minerva, the boy is obviously asleep. We can orient him tomorrow, it is late after all.” Dumbledore reasoned.

Huffing, McGonagall replied in an irritated tone, “Albus, I have wasted precious minutes waiting for a person who was already here. I will not come back tomorrow to finish a task which I could finish tonight!” She tried to turn the knob of the door and found it locked, taking out her wand she muttered, “Alohamora.” The spell did not open the door due to a strong collaportus, so after a complicated swish of her wand and muttering the incantation under her breath the door clicked open.

The sight that greeted the group caused the Head of Gryffindor to loose her normally imperturbable demeanor, “MR. POTTER! MISS GRANGER! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!”

Dumbledore and Lupin immediately entered the bedroom of the Head boy followed by the boys. Everyone was shocked speechless as they took in the scenario before them. The naked back of the head girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was visible to them, her head thrown back in ecstasy. She was straddling the hips of the head boy of Hogwarts, whose hands were planted firmly on her hips, the head boy was in the middle of sucking on one of the head girl's breast. Upon hearing the commotion at the door the stunned couple froze. Harry snapped his head up from his previous ministrations and let go of his grip on the Hermione, which caused her to topple backward on their bed as she turned her head to the crowd gathered at the door of their bedroom. Harry acted instantly and grabbed the pillow behind him to cover Hermione's front from the gawking eyes of his former dorm mates.

“MISTER POTTER AND MISS GRANGER, I AM SORELY DISAPPOINTED IN THE BOTH OF YOU! YOUR BEHAVIOR IS BEYOND REPREHENSIBLE! Might I remind you that you both were chosen upon your merits of responsibility and proper character? How dare you take advantage of your positions and perform such sacrilegious activities in these venerable quarters which were bestowed on you with honor!” McGonagall furiously lectured the couple.

Lupin was trying to control his laughter miserably; he started to cough to disguise his mirth as he wiped the corners of his eyes from the tears that had formed.

Ron and the other three boys looked like fishes out of water, opening and closing their mouths with no sound coming out.

“Bloody hell! SHE'S OUR BEST FRIEND! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL ARE YOU DOING?! SHE'S OUR BEST FRIEND!” Ron shouted when his voice finally came to him. He actually felt a bit relieved thanking all the stars in heaven that it was Hermione he caught in bed with Harry and not his sister. But wait, Ron thought, “What if Harry did meet Ginny at the Astronomy Tower, then after he snogged her, he comes down here to finish the job with Hermione? Nah! Harry never disrespects women…but we're talking about a shag…No—could he? Bloody Merlin! Harry's cheating on Ginny with Hermione so he's cheating on her too! Why, I'm going to kill him!” Ron started to advance toward the couple, fists formed at his sides, but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder by his DADA professor.

Hearing the voice of Ron seemed to shake the other three boys from Gryffindor from their stupor. Neville turned red in embarrassment and tried to look everywhere except the bed, but the harder he tried to evade the bed the more his eyes kept drifting toward the naked figure of Hermione. Dean and Seamus both had a wolfish grin on their faces as they wiggled their eyebrows at Harry and broke out into applause which they abruptly stopped upon the icy glare their Head of House gave them.

Dumbledore's grin could not be erased from his face, making him look much younger. The twinkle in his eyes took on a much brighter sparkle, and he placed a hand on the shoulder of McGonagall, which she shrugged off in fury. Looking at the two head students and his transfiguration professor, Dumbledore knew that Harry and Hermione were in deep trouble.

“Albus, I demand the dishonorable expulsion of the two Head Students of Hogwarts for actions deemed unbecoming of ones in their positions…”

“Now Minerva, I believe that your request is quite harsh. And I believe that the position that the Head Students were found in, though not standard in the actions they were performing were actually appropriate to the task at hand for Mr. Potter…” Dumbledore stated which caused the boys and Lupin to sputter in laughter.

“Honestly Albus! What Mr. Potter and Miss Granger were doing is not permitted on school property nor between young students. Just because it's Mr. Potter does not give him the right to break all the rules of this school!” McGonagall countered.

Harry pulled Hermione up to a sitting position and saw that she was red as a ripe tomato. Upon hearing the request of McGonagall he watched as she lost all color to her face. He saw tears were starting to form in her eyes and felt his own temper starting to rise at the people who caused pain to Hermione. He wrapped Hermione with the comforter, cupped her cheek searching her beautiful brown eyes as an unspoken conversation took place between them, when she nodded he kissed her tenderly.

“Headmaster, Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin and you gits from Gryffindor, may I please ask what would be the purpose of your visit to our chambers on such a lovely evening?” Harry asked them with dripping sarcasm not once breaking eye contact with Hermione.

Hermione placed her hand on Harry's still tenderly touching her cheek; she turned her head and kissed his palm, grateful for the comfort he was showing her during this trying time. She smiled at him and drowned herself in her lover's emerald green orbs.

“Harry, Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore were supposed to orient you to your award ceremony of the Order of Merlin.” Lupin answered, as he observed the actions of the couple on the bed, “Uh…Might I suggest that the two of you stop it…this is a grave misconduct you have performed.”

“This orientation for the ceremony of the Order of Merlin—it could not have been postponed for the morning?” Harry asked.

“Certainly not Mr. Potter! I'll have you know that I am not one to procrastinate in my duties which I take seriously mind you! How dare you both act without any remorse for being caught at performing an action that is restricted to occur among our students! I am disappointed in you Mr. Potter and so much more in you Miss Granger.”

Hermione tore her gaze from Harry, she shifted her eyes to her professor who she holds in high esteem and in a very soft firm lilting voice she replied, “I am sorry Professor McGonagall but I do not answer to the name of Miss Granger any more.”

“Is that so Miss Granger? And how do you wish us to address you then?” the professor burred sarcastically.

Hermione lowered her eyes as Harry took her left hand to his lips; she looked at him then lifting her chin in a defiant gesture she gazed steadily at the crowd gathered in their bedroom.

“Mrs. Harry James Potter,” Hermione said firmly, enunciating each word.

Professor McGonagall gasped stunned speechless as were the rest of the group.

XXXXX

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A/N: Gosh! Thank you so much to those who reviewed chapter 1!

I never thought that you would enjoy it as much as I wrote it—again thank you!

Well, this kinda scared me, since now I had to make chapter 2 almost as hilarious as the first—but I don't think I pulled it off…it's basically fluff and smut! ;P

To those of you who I may disappoint with this chapter—my heartfelt apologies!

But believe me without my beta—Twitch E. Ferret—it would have been much worst! So thank the gods for little favors—To my beta reader, thanks for putting up with me…

DISCLAIMER: I reiterate—characters not mine, just getting kicks out of it…

Chapter 2

“Are you sure?” Ginny asked.

“Saw the rings myself, I did!” Seamus answered.

“That wasn't the only thing we saw last night!” Dean added with a smirk.

Neville blushed as Ron grumbled, the boys were retelling the story of what had occurred at the Head Students' Chambers the night before, seeing their Head Girl au natural. The image definitely erased the bookworm image they had of her.

“Blimey! They've been married for five—“

“Six!”

“—six months and none of us even had an idea that they were ever together,” Ginny exclaimed smacking her forehead, “and I thought Ron was dense!”

“Ronald is not dense—he's a bit emotionally blind. Been hit by a case of umgubular slashkilter.” Luna Lovegood mentioned in her trademark dreamy voice.

“Luna, I'm not even going to try to understand that!” Ginny retorted.

Ron sat there at the Great Hall surrounded by his friends. He had been brooding over the fact that his two best friends got hitched without even inviting him, much less telling him!

“Furious does not even do justice to what I'm feeling towards them! SO what if they forgot the miniscule tidbit that I'm their best friend—oh wait the bloody hell—former best friend! Yeah I like the ring of that better…” was all Ron thought.

Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil were listening in to the juicy conversation taking place at their table, sniggering at some comments, remaining silent sometimes, and offering their own opinion to some snide remark.

“Anyone think maybe Hermione's preggars and that's why they got married suddenly?” Lavender mentioned. This was met with some sneers and nods as they all contemplated this new angle given.

“Don't be daftie, if Hermione was carrying Harry's sprog, don't you think it'll be obvious? They have been married for six months!” Ginny countered.

“Ronald, kneazle got your tongue? You haven't said a word…” Luna said as she turned her attention to the redhead male beside her.

“Well what the bloody crap do I say? Oh congratulations for pulling one over on us—job well done mate! Give my regards to the missus! So what if I've been your best mate since our first year in Hogwarts…I don't mind that you didn't even invite me to the wedding, much less mention it!” Ron ranted, shaking his head he continued, “Gods! They could've been at it like bunnies before the wedding for all we know!”

“No, we weren't at it like bunnies before the ceremony Ronald! But let me enlighten you that Harry was a perfect gentleman in properly waiting till our wedding night…THEN we started going at it like bunnies!” a soft soprano voice replied. Ron immediately recognized its owner as Hermione Grang—er—Potter. This vulgar comment from the Head Girl caused Seamus to choke on his pumpkin juice as it squirted from his nostrils.

“My, my the Potters have graced us little people with their presence!” Dean mocked in a loud voice which carried over to the other tables.

Harry and Hermione had immediately noticed the sudden hush in the Great Hall when they entered hand in hand, their wedding bands now visible to all those present. As they walked to their usual spot at the Gryffindor table, the whispering began to pick up again as all eyes were focused on them. Hermione prepared coffee for the two of them while Harry started to butter some toasts, and after placing some raspberry jam (which was his wife's favorite) on two of them, he placed it on her plate. At the same time he did this, she handed him his coffee. The couple took turns ladling eggs and bangers unto each other's plate; Hermione took an orange and sliced it into quarters giving Harry two slices.

The group at their table just gawked as the couple continued to eat breakfast in comfortable silence. Hermione looked up and stretched out her hand as one of the owls dropped the Daily Prophet into it, and she opened the paper in front of them while she wiped the chin of her husband with a napkin, taking a bite of the bacon Harry offered her. Engrossed in the articles in the Daily Prophet, the newlyweds had not once looked at each other, but were still in sync.

Ginny was the first to find her voice, “Oi! You two have this married couple breakfast ceremony sorted don't you?”

The Potters raised their heads looked at Ginny seated across the table then each other, suddenly they burst out laughing.

The Gryffindor group plus a Ravenclaw at their breakfast table looked at them with sour expressions.

“Sorry, but this is so hilarious!” Hermione said between chuckles, she was wiping the tears from the side of her eyes while she continued, “Harry and I have been like this every morning for the past few years…”

“Yah—every since fifth year!” Harry added, “Can't believe you just noticed now!”

Their friends looked at each other disbelievingly, they just realized that what the Potters said was true. Harry and Hermione had been fixing not only each other's breakfasts, but all their meals when they ate together. No one had really noticed since Harry and Hermione had been doing this routine for years. It came so naturally, and despite the fact that the whole school kept them under their watchful eye to search for any indication of them being a couple, everyone disregarded this blatant display due to habit!

“Well, that certainly put us in our places!” Pavarti sniffed as she watched the married couple stand up from their seats having finished their meal.

“Can't believe it! You two are so close we didn't even notice any change—you two were able to pull one over the whole school!” Lavender exclaimed with a pout.

“Believe me, it's much harder than you think!” Hermione replied, holding the hand of her husband as he assisted her when she stood from her seat.

“All the suppressed emotions, restricted physical contact, stolen moments…” Harry ranted, “But, now that the whole world knows I can finally do this…”

In the middle of the Great Hall in front of the whole student body and the faculty members present, Harry pulled his better half roughly towards him. He shoved one hand into her hair, and placed the other at the small of her back as he dipped her and snogged her senseless. Hermione, after getting over her initial shock, smiled into the kiss and cupped her husband's face.

The male population assembled at the Great Hall erupted in applause, cat calls and hoots for their Head Boy, as the female population swooned and looked completely envious at their Head Girl!

“Way to go Potter!” Justin Finch-Fletchley shouted as he gave them a standing ovation.

“Yeah! Snog her face off `arry!” came from Seamus.

“Gods! She is SOO lucky!” a first year Hufflepuff girl gushed.

“Give me a bucket, I'm about to puke my breakfast!” came from a Slytherin prefect.

The couple broke apart smiling and gazed intently into each other's eyes. Hermione was flushed and saw her husband's normally emerald eyes take on a darker shade of green. Harry pulled her upright and as they looked up to the high table they saw their Headmaster standing and clapping along with the rest of the male population, Hagrid was applauding too, and as he stomped his feet it caused the Great Hall to feel a slight earthquake. Lupin raised his cup of tea in salute to the couple, while Snape looked at them scornfully, and McGonagall hid her smirk by taking a sip from her goblet.

Someone from the crowd shouted, “Potter, do you really love her?”

Harry released his wife and jumped on the Gryffindor table and on the top of his lungs bellowed, “I LOVE HERMIONE WITH MY WHOLE BEING AND SOUL! I BECAME THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE THE DAY SHE MARRIED A BLOODY BLOKE LIKE ME!”

The people at the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff table cheered, the Slytherin table was quietly snickering “mudblood lover” amongst other things, while those at Gryffindor went wild! Harry's housemates were screaming, whistling, and clapping! No one in all the seven years that Harry attended Hogwarts did they see him so uninhibited, reckless, and blissfully happy.

He jumped down took Hermione in his arms again and lovingly gazed at her face glowing with love and ecstasy, “I live for you Hermione Potter…” gently brushing his lips on hers.

Hermione felt her breath hitch at what Harry said, she was ecstatic at seeing Harry acting so childishly and so carefree.

“And I for you my husband.” she muttered, then with a cocked brow and a wicked smile she brought her lips to his ear and whispered, “Remember when you suggested that I should just do away with my knickers, easy access anytime anywhere?” Harry nodded and she literally heard him gulp, “Well, I took your advice, love.”

With a growl, Harry swung his wife into his arms and sprinted out the massive doors of the Great Hall, ignoring the catcalls and bawdy remarks.

Once everyone had settled down after the hasty departure of Hogwart's Head Students, Dumbledore had not stopped chuckling to himself. He turned to face the Potions Master of the school who as usual had a grim face and not missing a beat said, “Severus, I believe that the Head Boy and Girl will be arriving a tad late to your class.”

“Not to worry Headmaster, I have already planned their detention and the number of points I am to take from them.” Snape retorted.

“Ah, Severus you forget who we are talking about,” Remus said,” Miss Grang—er…Mrs. Potter will not allow her spouse to corrupt her priorities. In fact I believe with all my heart that Hermione will be a good influence on Harry.” To which Minerva nodded in agreement.

“But then again, Harry IS James' son, ”Remus continued, “so knowing that he inherited his father's attitude but at the same time not wanting to upset his wife…I suppose Harry will do what he considers the best option given the circumstance…”

Dumbledore's eyes took on a playful twinkle while Snape's scowl deepened and McGonagall had a bewildered expression.

“Well get on with it Remus, we do not have all day!” Snape snapped.

Lupin took his time, sipped his tea and looked out to the students still at the Great Hall, he loved the fact that Snape had no idea of what he was talking about. Being a Marauder, he knew that he had to give Harry ample time to…finish his business.

Snape snorted in disgust, “I have no time for your games Remus, out with it or else I'll be heading off to the dungeons to begin class.”

“Well now that you put it that way…”

Snape stood up with a huff.

“Alright fine,” Lupin sighed, as Snape sat down slowly “I therefore deduce that Mr. and Mrs. Potter will not be late to your class Severus…”

Snape sneered again, “And how did you presume that, Remus?”

“Easy, Harry's the son of a Marauder who too was whipped by his wife—like father like son…Harry took Hermione to conclude what they started here to your classroom Severus…maybe even in your storage room!” Remus chuckled at the look of disgust on the face of the Potions Master. “Hence, Hermione will be satisfied because they will not be late to your class…and well…Harry will just be um…satisfied period,” Lupin finished with a pleased tone.

Snape stood up abruptly causing his chair to fall back, looking at Lupin he merely growled, “Utterly revolting.”

Dumbledore and Lupin sniggered while McGonagall turned red with embarrassment and watched as the Potions Master of Hogwarts marched out the Great Hall rapidly, black robes billowing around him.

XXXXX

Harry ducked into a corner panting, he watched as a group of females rushed past him. He then opened the broom closet behind him, seeing that it was vacant he decided to lock himself inside for his own safety.

As he sat down on an overturned pail he thought to himself, “This is just ridiculous! Don't they have any morals? Merlin! You'd think that being a married man would end this nonsense!”

Harry had been running around the castle after being chased by a mob of females which his friends and wife endearingly labeled “Potter's groupies”. Hermione was at Arithmacy class while he had a vacant period, which it seemed the rest of the bloody birds in Hogwarts knew. Harry was planning to wait out by the lake to soak up the warm weather, waiting for Hermione to finish her class. When she was done she was going to meet him so they could go visit Hagrid at his hut for tea. But amazingly here he was running around the castle, being chased by females crying their eyes out.

“Harry tell me it isn't so! You love me! You just don't realize it yet!”

“You're just trying to make me jealous Harry by saying that you married her!”

“Marry me Harry!”

“Let me show you how to really have fun in bed!”

“How can you marry such a plain bookworm when you could have me?”

Harry chuckled then covered his mouth realizing he laughed too loud and hoped that no one had heard him. He thought of what the girls kept screaming at him while they chased him, it took all his will power to prevent himself from hexing them to oblivion. The words they used in insulting his wife were outrageous! He was at wits end when he was able to shake them, and now here he was the savior of the magic world holed up in a broom closet AGAIN, cowering from a bunch of hormonally charged girls!

“If Rita Skeeter could only see me now!” Harry thought.

He realized that he had not thought this through, he was stuck in a broom closet and safe—yes, but he had no means of telling Hermione his whereabouts. She would certainly be ticked off that he would be late meeting up with her. Harry thought about using their mental connection in contacting his spouse, but then realized that it worked only for short distances. He stood up and with his back to the door he kicked the pail in frustration which ricocheted off the wall and hit him in the shin, yelping in pain he just grew more irritated.

The door of the broom closet opened suddenly and someone slipped in to the already tiny space. Harry panicked as the person behind him shoved him forward and he had to extend his arms which hit the wall to prevent himself from completely falling forward, his eyes grew wide with shock as he felt a leg slip between his and pushed his legs forcefully apart. Since he was caught off guard at the sudden intrusion, Harry was not able to prevent anything from happening, “So much for constant vigilance—Moody would have my head for being this careless!” Harry then pulled himself out of his personal reverie and concentrated, he was kind of relieved when he felt small hands run in front of his pants and worked on his belt buckle and zipper. “Thank Merlin it's a girl!” He was scared that maybe a queer `Potter groupie' would have done this, considering the position he was in!

Harry was about to do something before the situation could get out of hand, but then he smelled it despite the strong disinfectant odor in the broom closet, cinnamon and vanilla. “Those hands…only one person can make me this hard instantly…” he thought with a smile as he felt them slip into his boxers and encircle his already stiff cock. He felt her plaster her body on to his back, then heard her whisper an incantation and he was frozen in his position—legs apart, pants and boxers bunched around his ankles and arms braced against the wall, he couldn't move from his shoulders down but was not numb.

Smiling with anticipation at what his wife planned to do with him he turned his head and whispered, “Mione…”

She laughed provocatively and shimmed around him, she turned and met his eyes, not breaking eye contact with him she slowly rubbed her body against his as she situated herself between his arms, Harry closed his eyes and again moaned, “Mione? What are you playing at?”

Opening his eyes, he saw his wife with a sultry smile on her face that made his blood boil. She raised an eyebrow at him enclosed her hand around his cock again and said, “You should just worry about all the things I am going to do to you…” Hermione looked around the tiny broom closet and continued, “I believed we haven't really done anything in a broom closet…It's kind of—naughty…don't you think?”

“We have our own bedroom, love…we don't need a broom closet.” Harry whispered closing his eyes as Hermione moved her enclosed hand up and down.

“Hmm…well let's see what all the fuss is about these closets then…” with that Hermione kissed Harry, their tongues meeting and their moans intermingling as Hermione's hand kept going up and down his shaft in an increasing pace. Harry tore his mouth from his wife and let out a loud groan, he opened his eyes and saw that Hermione's were almost black with passion, she had a triumphant look in them too. He watched her look down at what her hand was doing with him and he too looked down and what he saw was so erotic, if he wasn't in a body bind he knew that his knees would have buckled beneath him.

The next thing that happened would have blown any coherent thought that was established in his mind.

Hermione stopped jacking him off, with her finger she wiped away the fluid that had accumulated on the tip. She saw Harry look at her with a questioning look, then without breaking her gaze with him she brought that finger up to her lips and began to suck on it. Harry's eyes widened and he gulped hard as he felt his erection grow harder than he thought possible. Then when he thought that it couldn't get any better, Harry watched his wife beam up at him as she went down on her knees.

“Harry, watch…” She ordered as she looked up at him while gripping his erection she tilted her head and opened her mouth to engulf him.

Harry thought that he would have just burst right there! He looked down at his wife as she worshipped him in the most intimate way ever. It amazed him at the techniques that Hermione used on him. He had heard stories about some of them, and some of the guys even talked about it, but he would bet his soul that he was getting the best blow job worthy of being written in Hogwarts: A History! Harry could not control himself any longer, as much as he wanted to prolong this moment and the sensations he felt, he exploded seeing floating black spots. When he was finished he let his head drop feeling sapped and dizzy and watched with fascination as Hermione swallowed, stood up and wiped the corner of her mouth demurely with her finger and licked it with a smile.

“Mione love, you will be the death of me…” Harry panted.

“Now we have got to do that again…” Hermione said with a glorious smirk, “You Mr. Potter, give a whole new meaning to the word `delicious'! I knew you were quite a dish—but oh my…”she was now blushing.

“Come here and kiss me…” Harry demanded.

Hermione complied as Harry tasted himself on her lips and tongue. At first he thought that he would be repulsed at kissing her after her swallowing him, but it actually turned him on and he could feel himself stiffen again.

“Dear Merlin! Harry—will you ever be sated?”

“Undo this binding spell and let's see…” Harry replied with a smile, “My dear wife, let me at least return the favor…”

“I believe it was I who was repaying you, love.” As she waved her wand over her husband causing his body to relax as he immediately wrapped his arms under her bum and lifted her, Hermione wrapped her legs around his hips and arranged her skirt for him to impale her.

Just as Harry was about to thrust into her, the broom closet door opened again and Hermione found herself falling forward as her husband was being pulled away from her.

Harry was not pleased with the intrusion, he and his wife had their wands out so fast that the intruders did not have a chance as the smartest witch of their age screamed “PETRIFICUS TOTALIS” and the `Man who Saved' shouted “STUPEFY”. The poor interlopers did not know what hit them as they all fell over themselves stiff as boards.

Harry immediately stood up pulling his pants up hastily as he tried to cover his wife with his body. When the couple had smoothed over their clothes, they looked around and saw a strew of stiff bodies belonging to their friends, their eyes all wide with astonishment. Hermione sighed and waved her wand over their fiery haired best friend releasing only the upper part of his body as Harry knelt down beside him.

“You have ten seconds to explain yourself.” Harry growled.

“How the bloody hell were we suppose to know what you and Hermione were doing in there?” Ron exclaimed. He saw that Hermione was looking down at him with her arms crossed over her chest tapping her foot on the floor beside him as she gripped her wand. Ron was terrified, he knew that it would be suicide to get on the wrong side of Hermione—especially an unsatisfied Hermione.

“Ronald Bilius Weasley, we were in a broom closet! What do you think we were doing there? Getting supplies to wax the floor?” Hermione demanded.

“You're married and have your own bedroom! What would you need a broom closet for? These places are only used by those who don't have the luxury of our own private quarters!” Ron whined back.

Hermione had already released the girls from their spells and looked over at them as they stood up and brushed themselves off, “How did you find us?”

“Marauder's map,” Neville stated after Harry muttered `finite'.

The Potters exchanged glances and shared a groan.

“Five points from everyone in this damn corridor for disrupting the Head Students from an important personal…um…” Harry began.

“…discussion” Hermione finished.

“That will be the last time I'll ever listen to you boys!” Lavender said with a huff as she straightened her hair.

“Let's surprise them indeed! Look who surprised whom! I am so amazed that even in the state you two were in—you were able to do that!” Pavarti said with awe.

Ginny sidled up to Hermione as a platinum blond seventh year student from Slytherin sauntered over to the group, “Potter, I see that being whipped has done wonders for you…I bet all the sex adds a bonus too.”

“Well ferret you should know…”Harry countered.

Draco shrugged, with a smirk he kissed Ginny on her now blushing cheek and with a whisper he greeted his girlfriend, “Hey red…”

“Oh you are so dead…” Ron growled as he started to charge toward the Slytherin beside his sister his wand every ready after he witnessed the exchange.

“Ronald, behave…” Luna said.

“Wanna play Weasel?” Draco drawled as he placed an arm around the shoulders of Ginny in an act of defiance.

“Ginerva Molly Weasley…Explain NOW!” Ron said in a low threatening voice.

“Well Ron…um…I'd like to introduce you to Draco Malfoy my…my boyfriend.”

The group of boys just stared bugged eye at Ginny, while the females in the group went behind Ginny in a sign of support.

“Please tell me you're joking…Please tell me you're bloomin' joking…” Ron said with utter disgust, his face turning a tinge green, as he continued pointing his wand toward the Slytherin.

“Now Ron…uh…don't make me take more points off again because of this. Malfoy may still have a prick stuck up his arse, but he has proved his worth in the war.” Harry stated in a placating voice as he positioned himself between the two boys.

“Harry are you nutters? Do you know what you're saying? This is Malfoy—you know, ferret boy!” Ron shouted.

“Ronald, let Ginny be…She's a big girl now.” Luna said as she placed a hand on his arm to soothe him.

“You're all mental!” Ron shouted arms flailing about.

“Ron, mum and dad knows about Draco and I. Please Ron, be happy for me.” Ginny begged.

Looking at his sister blankly, “When did this happen?” was all Ron could ask.

“Well Weasel, I kind of fell for Red here during the war when the Order paired me up with her in covert missions. Remember, when YOU didn't want to be my partner...So I reckon I owe you, huh?” Draco explained with a slight condescension, to which Ginny elbowed him in the gut as she hissed “You're not helping, Draco!”

Everyone looked at Ron as he digested this bit of information, “Bloody hell! Their hooking up was MY fault? What the bloody shite is the world coming to? First Harry and Hermione, now Ferret and Ginny? What in bloody hell happened to the Big Happy Weasley Family?”

“Ron, I have been dropping hints about Draco and I.” Ginny tried to explain softly.

“Hints?”

“Yup, anvil size hints!” Ginny said.

“Like what?”

“Remember when Mum asked us to clean the Prewitt jewelry box so she could take stock of her baubles in case something happened to her during the war? You do recall our conversation, right?”

Ron nodded, a frown on his face, “I asked you if you still hoped that you and Harry would hook up again after the war.”

Ginny shifted uncomfortably as she gave an apologetic look to Hermione and Draco, both of whom just shrugged at her.

“Yup and you asked me that question when we were admiring an emerald pendant, right?”

“Okay…what's this leading to?” Ron asked as he grew impatient.

“What did I reply? Do you recall what I said about Harry and I?”

“You said that you weren't fancying emeralds anymore but your heart was more into…” Ron then had to stop himself as realization hit as he looked at Ginny wide eyed.

“…platinum.” Ginny nodded, “There was another time when…”

“Oh shut it! I've heard enough!” Ron whined as he covered his ears mockingly, then smirked as he looked at Ginny as if seeing her for the first time in ages, “I do have an emotional range of a teaspoon…”

“Not exactly bro—your just too…” before Ginny could finish the others jumped in to their conversation.

“Daft?” Dean suggested.

“Stubborn?” Harry offered.

“Wappy?” Seamus added.

“Mental?” Lavender said.

“Nutters!” Pavarti recommended.

“Okay! Okay! I get the picture!” Ron yelled raising his hands in mock surrender.

“I'm just glad Ron didn't get his head crushed by those anvils!” Hermione joked.

“I AM a dense git! I didn't expect my two best friends to get married and never in my wildest nightmares did I think my sister would hook up with the same bloke she attacked with flying bogeys!”

“You didn't expect Harry and I would get together?” Hermione asked incredulously.

“Well, if someone had told me that you and Harry would end up together back when we were in fifth or sixth year, I'd declare them delusional!” Ron reasoned out.

“The only people delusional would be those who wouldn't expect Harry and Hermione to end up together! I mean honestly, the smartest witch of our age with the boy who lived? That was so predictable it had to be written in the stars!” Pavarti stated.

“As predictable as me ending up as Queen to King Weasley!” Luna said dreamily as she snuggled to Ron while he blushed profusely.

Hermione just shook her head at the setting before her. “Um…so tell me, why again did you disrupt us before I could start my exciting ride on the `Potter Express'?”

The boys gawked again at the Head Girl as she looked around the group, “Did I say something wrong?”

“'Potter Express?' So Scarhead is a minute man?” Draco sniggered.

“A wham bam thank you ma'am!” Dean snorted.

“What's a minute man?” Neville asked with a bewildered expression.

“Oh please! Harry and I were just trying to sneak in a quickie before we'd got out of the broom closet! As randy as we were, a quickie would have suffice till we got to our own bedroom!” Hermione declared while rolling her eyes, oblivious to the bugged eyed stares of those around her.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose trying to prevent himself from laughing. He knew that he and Ron corrupted her during their seven years of friendship, but every since he and Hermione started having sex together, his wife just became `decorously' lewd and shameless —not that he was complaining.

“What exactly was the reason that you needed to track us down?” Harry asked.

Ron suddenly smiled wickedly as the boys rounded up on Harry, “Easy mate—we realized that we owe you a bachelor party.”

With that the boys carried off Harry in one direction as the girls took Hermione the other way, the Potters knew that they were in for a wild night.

XXXXX

A/N: by the way Harry on the Gryffindor table?—imagine Tom Cruise on Oprah's sofa…cheesy yes but it fits doesn't it? ;)

12

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WARNING: NO SMUT WHATSOEVER! ;) in fact the rating should be PG, due to the language—and even that's mild too…hope you won't be `that' disappointed! hehehe

Chapter 3

After a friendly pick up game of quidditch between Puddlemere United and the visiting National Bulgarian Team, two seekers lay in separate cots at the medic tent of a quidditch pitch somewhere in England due to a Wronski Defensive Feint gone terribly wrong…

“Gods! They're married!” Cho exclaimed as she raised the Daily Prophet with her good hand, her broken arm stuck to her chest by a charm.

“Who?” asked the male in the cot beside her with a thick Bulgarian accent.

“Harry and Hermione!” Cho replied, looking over at Viktor Krum, who had a cracked skull and broken nose.

“`arry Potter and Herm-own-ninny?”

“Yes, Harry Potter and Herm-own-nin…I mean Hermione! How many Harry and Hermiones do you know, Viktor?” Cho snapped as Oliver Wood and Katie Bell, Puddlemere's keeper and chaser, entered the tent.

“What about Harry and Hermione?” Oliver asked.

“They're married!”

Oliver stared at Cho for a full minute before speaking, “As in husband and wife? As in till death do us part?”

“What other marriage is there?” Cho retorted.

“When?” Viktor asked quietly, mumbling something under his breath in Bulgarian.

“When what?”

“When was the wedding?” Katie asked.

“According to this article,” Cho scanned the piece, “around six months ago.”

“And no one knew?” Oliver exclaimed in bewilderment.

“Seems like no one in school, nor in the wizarding world did—or this would have been old news by now!” Cho replied

“Where?” Katie asked.

“Where what?”

“Cho!” Katie cried out trying to make a grab for the paper. But Cho, even with a broken arm, had quick reflexes was able to evade it easily.

“Oh right, at the Ministry of Magic,” she said while scanning the article again and flipping the page, “in London!”

“In LONDON?!?” Viktor and Oliver roared.

Katie sat closer to Cho and read the article over her shoulder, “Well, it states here that Minister Bones officiated the ceremony and was under the Fidelius charm till Harry saw that it was safe to tell the public…”

“Why?” Oliver inquired.

“Well, I guess the Minister owed Harry one, considering he did save her life a couple of times. Plus it wouldn't be safe for the two if He who-must-not-be-named or his minions found out about the marriage.” Katie deduced.

“No,” Oliver shook his head as he cleared up his inquiry, “Why did they get married?”

“What in Merlin's mind would make you assume I possess an idea why those two got married?!” Cho screeched, fuming she continued “I knew there was something going on between them during their fifth year, I knew that Hermione had her clutches on Harry!”

“Ne, Cho, it was during the Triwizard's tournament that `arry had started to fall for Herm-own-ninny” Viktor said, finally seeing the reason why Hermione hadn't been answering any of his letters.

“By the by, since there were four champions then shouldn't it have been a `Quartet' Wizards tournament?” Oliver wondered aloud.

“How about the `Quad' Wizards tournament!” Katie added halfheartedly with a giggle.

“Oh shut it the lot of you!” Cho reprimanded as she continued to read the rest of the article.

“Well,” Oliver asked, “did it say why the two got married? I mean, was Hermione pregnant?” to which Viktor choked on his own breath.

“Obviously she wasn't, or else she'd be showing by now. There isn't any mention that she was on the family way.” Cho replied.

“How could they have kept this a secret?”

“They are the Head Students at Hogwarts, and they do have their own private quarters. Merlin knows what went on behind closed doors!” Katie answered. “With a good colloportus and an even stronger silencio they could have done anything there!”

“`arry Potter is a lucky man…” Viktor mumbled.

“Are you joking? It's Hermione who got the best part of the deal!” Cho snapped.

“Well, whoever got the best part of the deal had better get ready with answers, because I'm sure there will be hell to pay for keeping something this important a secret…”

Suddenly an owl swooped into the medic tent and landed on Oliver's shoulder. Sticking it's leg out, Oliver took the parchment that was attached to it. Reading over the letter a smile could be seen growing on the keeper's face.

“What is it Ollie?”

“It seems I have been invited to a bachelor party—to be held tonight at the Room Of Requirement at Hogwarts…”

“Who's bachelor party?”

“Harry Potter's of course!”

“What? How could you have been invited and we haven't?” Katie huffed.

“Oh yeah right—maybe because your girls and it's a bachelor party, the only girls there should be the strippers…so unless you're willing to shed you're clothes I would not hold my breath!” Oliver retorted.

“I'd easily shed my clothes for Harry…” Cho whined as Katie gave her a look.

“I thought that `arry and Herm-own-ninny were married, da? Why is there this party?” Viktor asked.

“I hav'nt the faintest…” Oliver stated shaking his head, “I bet the Weasleys planned this, I'll try to floo Fred and George to find out.”

Another owl flew in and a piece of parchment landed in the lap of Katie. As she opened it and scanned the contents quickly she turned to Oliver and excitedly said, “Looks like you have company going to Hogwarts tonight—I've been invited to Hermione's bridal shower!”

“Great!” Oliver looked at his watch and stood up, “We've got to get ready. Blimey, I've got to buy Harry a gift!”

“So do I, a gift for Hermione that is!” Katie too stood up, “Meet you in Diagon Alley in a few, just got to freshen up.”

“Wait! You were invited and I wasn't?!” Cho's eyes flashed with anger and jealousy.

Oliver and Katie exchanged glances, “Yeah, uh…right. Maybe your invite is on its way?” Oliver reasoned.

“Bollocks! If it did not arrive with Katie's then it isn't coming!” Cho retorted and gave a childish pout.

“Sure Cho, their friends would just love to invite the couples' exes!” Katie shrieked, rolling her eyes at the seeker throwing a tantrum, “Cho get over yourself! Potter's world does not revolve around you! The man is married, deal with it!”

Cho stared at Katie opening her mouth a couple of times but finding neither the voice nor the words for a better retort.

Oliver shifted uncomfortably, looking at the two women. Trying to resolve the sudden tension in the room he went back to the previous thread of conversation, “Um, better yet, Katie I'll met you at the entrance of the pitch—I have no idea what to get Harry, but I bet the gifts should make Hermione…um happy?!” Oliver said with a smile, “You can help me with that.”

“Sure, as long as you help me too, we've got a deal! Maybe the Weasley twins have great ideas in that department.” Katie said, obviously forgetting her earlier outburst. She continued, “Ta ta you two…and don't do anything I wouldn't!” as she and Oliver left the tent.

Cho simmered as she looked over at the article again, “You know something about this?”

“Me? Ne. I knew that Herm-own-ninny had someone in her life, she had not been replying to my letters for a year now, and I know it wasn't because of the war. As to `arry Potter being that someone, I did not know.” Viktor ended with a sigh, “I think they are happy with each other now.”

“Oh please!” Cho rolled her eyes, “Harry can not be happy with her! She's so plain, and…argh! How can he be satisfied with a bookworm?!”

Viktor looked over to the side where Cho was lying, the skele-gro bottle on her bedside table matching his. “Herm-own-ninny was never plain, nor was she only a bookworm. I bet `arry Potter would not be alive today without her,” Viktor defended, “I have no doubt in my mind that `arry Potter would be very satisfied, maybe even too contented!” Then with a chuckle he continued, “Herm-own-ninny is more of a physical being, you know…”

Cho gasped and looked over at Krum ”Physical being?” she squeaked.

Viktor nodded, and then regretted the action as his vision doubled, “Do not get me wrong though, we never went all the way. She was always holding back and I knew that her heart was elsewhere instead of with me…”

“Well, Harry's one kiss with me wasn't all too spectacular—it was kind of—wet. I mean, sure I was crying, but that was because of Cedric and not the kiss…” giggling Cho continued, “Okay, may be it was a bit because of the kiss…no chemistry such a let down and believe me I've had better!”

“You only had one kiss—a single kiss with `arry Potter and you act like he took your virtue away?!” Viktor exclaimed with astonishment, “You English women are funny…Pretty but funny!”

“I hardly think Hermione could be categorized as pretty!”

Viktor shifted, he then tossed a magazine toward Cho who caught it, “Page five, an exclusive interview with pictures. The father of their friend owns the magazine, da?” Viktor continued as he watched Cho's reaction, “Now tell me—Herm-own-ninny is pretty, da? May be it's because of the love that is why she is glowing?”

Cho fingered immediately to page five of The Quibbler, she gazed in astonishment at the two figures giving each other a kiss and continued to watch as Harry placed his arm around Hermione's shoulders as she rested her head on his shoulder. In another picture was a close up of the couple gazing into each other's eyes before looking up at the reader and smiling, she had to admit to herself Hermione Potter definitely was dazzling! But the picture that had Cho's mouth watering was the five carat diamond engagement ring in a tiffany setting! That picture had the left hands of the couple intertwined showing off their wedding band which were simple platinum bands with infinity grooves as a design.

Sighing, Cho admitted, “Okay fine, they're a good looking couple!”

“See, they fit da?”

“Whatever…” Cho sighed tossing the magazine to the side and falling back to her pillows, “I didn't think, no I didn't want to think that Harry really had feelings for her back then. But when I saw them together, especially in the DA meetings, they just…fit.” Shaking her head, “I felt really miffed when he couldn't denying his friendship for her…”

“Miffed? What is that?”

“Long to explain,” Cho sighed, “at least Hermione was friendly enough with you.”

Viktor let out a chuckle, “Not friendly enough though, da?”

“We're totally mental…” Cho sighed.

Viktor took a long hard look at her, “What you say we be mental together?”

Cho sat up laughing as she turned to the Bulgarian seeker who was regarding her with serious eyes, she covered her mouth with her hand “Oh I'm sorry—you were serious.” she watched him give her a curt nod, “What you and me—?”

“Da! Why let only `arry Potter and Herm-own-ninny get all the fun? Let's get to know each other better and wallow in our agony of the past together!” Viktor said with a chuckle.

Cho looked at Viktor with amazement, “That is just plain pathetic!” but then she gave it much more thought and a small smile started to play on Cho's lips, “But you know what? You're abso-bloody-lutely right! Once we're on the mend and right, let's go out!” starting to feel better as she thought about it.

Viktor let out a deep breath, “Da! You are not only a good seeker but a very pretty girl.”

“So that's all you find interesting in me eh? My quidditch skills and my face?” Cho retorted.

“Ne—there's another aspect of you I really like…” Viktor huskily admitted.

“Really now? Tell me…” Cho whispered as she leaned over to his cot.

Viktor leaned in and their faces were mere inches apart, “You have easier name to say…”

Cho's eyes widened as she stared at him flabbergasted, then the two seekers burst out laughing as the healers came in to give them their hourly dose of skele-gro.

XXXXX

A/N

Sorry for the delay, better late than never…

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!

I must thank my beta again for her expertise here—Twitch E. Ferret...without her, I would be getting flames!

I know—this chapter's so short! But when I began this story I knew that the title would really be a play of words between Cho and Viktor…it was part of the rules that they're reactions were to be counted, I just added a twist to it.

I know all of you were expecting the parties in this chapter—but I did warn some of the reviewers that I was in a rut on how to write it and that I had this chapter done which was actually suppose to be chapter 4 instead of 3…

But do not fret—I have already submitted to my very diligent beta reader chapter4 (which has parties, flashbacks and movie quotes)—and it's 23 pages long—so far…and as I have told her, so will I reveal to you—this story shall end in chapter 5.

By the way—`ne' is Bulgarian for `no'—my reference?

http://www1.cs.columbia.edu/~radev/dictionary/get.cgi?search=no&.submit=Submit+Query (it's number 2322)

1

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A/N: oh you are so going to kill me! Heck, I wanna kill myself! For I have sinned…

This is the continuation of Chapter 3—I wrote it after submitting the first part to my beta then sent a revised version after a day or two. I didn't notice it wasn't included till I was emptying out my recycling bin and restored it since it had the heading `chapter4'—opening the file I saw that it wasn't the next chapter but the revised `Cho and Viktor' chapter! (do I make any sense at all? Nah!)

Don't worry—I smacked myself silly already! I just had to add this since some of the parts in the next chapter wouldn't make any sense…like I said before, chapter4 is done and is now in the hands of my beta reader.

WARNING: this wasn't beta-ed since she beta-ed the original instead of the revised—(my bad)…so any horrid mistakes is completely my fault and shouldn't reflect on her wonderful skills as a beta reader…

Oh—this should have a `somewhat G' rating…

End of rambling…

Chapter 3—part deux

At The Burrow in Ottery St. Catchpole…

“Arthur, did you have even the faintest idea that Harry and Hermione got married?” Molly screeched.

“What?”

“I said DID YOU KNOW THAT HARRY AND HERMIONE GOT MARRIED?!”

“Who got married?”

“Harry and Hermione…” Molly rolled her eye before peering through the kitchen window, “Oh, will you come in now?! There are more important things to discuss than de-gnoming the garden!”

A moment later the backdoor slammed shut as a thin man with fiery red hair came in and hung his cloak as he walked into the kitchen where his wife was fixing lunch.

“Did you say that Harry and Hermione got married?” he asked as he swiped a crisp from the sandwich plate his wife was arranging, who immediately swatted his hand.

“Yes, Arthur I did say that Harry and Hermione got married—did you know about this?”

“Why would I know about this before you?” Arthur stated looking at his wife incredulously.

“Well, the boys do tell you things like these and you are the head of Misuse of Muggle artifacts and such, I would think that you'd hear about it at work—being as it seems that they got married in Muggle London?”

“Molly, even if I had a pair of extendable ears I would not have known about it because…” Arthur flipped though the pages of the Daily Prophet, then paused as he continued reading, “they got married here at the Ministry with Minister Bones as their officiator and she was under a Fidelius.”

“No! That's impossible!” Molly looked over the shoulder of her husband as she took a bite of the sandwich which was meant for her husband, “I didn't read that far yet!” pausing she placed the plate of sandwiches in front of Arthur as she took the newspaper from his hands.

“But Hermione said once before not to always believe what you read.” Molly stated skeptically, “Those kids could not have been married at our Ministry without the wizarding world knowing about it! It just can't be done!”

“Molly you seem to be forgetting who we are talking about, this is Harry Potter and Hermione Granger—and along with our son we know that those three have proven that they can do the impossible!” Arthur took a bite of his sandwich as he looked with pride at his wife, “Plus they are not kids any more, as much as we wish they still are, we have to face facts that they are of age.”

“But…oh Arthur, it must have been horrendous for Hermione!” Molly sniffed.

Arthur guffawed, “She married Harry Potter, the `Boy who lived', the `Man who saved', the hero of the magical world, the most eligible bachelor in the wizarding world and her best friend for the past seven years! I highly doubt that it was as atrocious as you make it!”

“It's not that, but Hermione must have been dreaming of such a magnificent wedding since she was five and there she was getting married during a war with the cold walls of the Ministry as her setting!” Molly sobbed, “That poor child deserves a wedding fit for royalty!”

The couple remained silent for a few moments when suddenly Molly stood up, exclaimed “That's it then!” and headed towards their living room, her eyes glowing brightly.

Arthur followed, his lunch forgotten, “That's what dear?”

“We must plan their wedding!”

Arthur shook his head, “Molly, they already had a wedding, they've been married for six months!”

“Then a renewal of vows! Hermione deserves to walk down the aisle in a white gown with all the trimmings and they both deserve to have a wedding that they could tell their children and grandchildren!” Molly continued.

“And just how do you expect to pull off this wedding of a century all by yourself?”

“I'll have help…” with that Molly went toward the hearth as she threw some floo powder in.

At Hogwarts…

McGonagall rushed inside the Headmaster's office, “Albus I just had a talk with Molly Weasley and she just had this smashing idea!”

Dumbledore raised his head as he took in the excited disposition of his normally collected transfiguration professor.

“Ah, yes Molly Weasley. How has she and Arthur been?”

McGonagall stared at the headmaster of Hogwarts perplexed by his question, “They are, um in good spirits I believe.”

Albus hid his smirk, he knew that Minerva had not expected him to ask about the Weasley couple, he knew that she wanted him to ask about this `smashing idea' that Molly had.

“Really now? That's good.” Dumbledore looked down his desk and fiddled around with the papers on it, ignoring her completely.

He raised his head again after a few moments, “Is there something else Minerva?”

McGonagall released an out of character snort, “Oh really now Albus! Come now, I know that you are just as curious as to what Molly and I have discussed!”

Albus chuckled, “Fine Minerva, what is this `smashing idea' Molly had?”

“Remember when we went to the Head Students' quarters last night?”

“Who could forget that, Minerva?” chuckling Dumbledore continued, “I believe we have unintentionally scarred Mr. Longbottom with the images of his friends in the throes of passion!”

“Albus! Get you're head out of the gutter!” McGonagall scolded, as she blushed with embarrassment and continued “Well Molly thought that we should throw Mr. and Mrs. Potter another wedding!”

“Now why would she think that?” Albus asked with a twinkle in his eyes at the notion.

“The children were married by Amelia yes, but the austerity of their surroundings does not seem proper for those two.” McGonagall reasoned, “Albus, I thought you would have been thrilled by this proposal!”

“I am Minerva. I believe that Molly is truly brilliant for coming up with this inspiration. I do regret though…”

McGonagall gasped as she stared wide eyed at Dumbledore who raised his hand in a halting motion, “Let me finish Minerva, as I was saying…I do regret though not being the one who thought of it in the first place!”

“Albus! You are just being barmy!” McGonagall burred.

“Let us summon the Weasley siblings and I believe Miss Lovegood and Misters Longbottom, Finnigan and Thomas would suffice for the moment, oh and Remus should be here too.” Dumbledore ordered, laughing quietly at the reaction of McGonagall.

McGonagall nodded and called out, “Dobby?”

With a pop the freed house elf appeared, “Yes Professor?”

“Please call these people and have them come to the headmaster's office immediately, the password is chocolate frogs.” McGonagall started to enumerate the different personalities to be beckoned, after which the elf disappeared with a pop.

A few moments later, a knock was heard in the office and when it was acknowledgement, those called on entered.

“Yes Professor?” Ginny started, as the students looked apprehensively at their transfiguration professor who tilted her head toward the direction of Dumbledore.

The headmaster conjured up chairs for the group and motioned that they should sit down.

“There has been an interesting proposition that was suggested by Molly Weasley concerning our head students.” Dumbledore started, “She suggested that we should provide the Potters with a wedding worthy enough for the smartest witch of the age and the man who saved.”

The students looked at each other, then turned to their headmaster and immediately nodded their agreement practically beaming.

“Bloody…” Ron started and heard a tsk from his Head of House, “Blooming brilliant! Mum certainly got that right!”

“We could use the money from the pool!” Ginny suggested excitedly.

“That would be perfect!” Lupin agreed.

Minerva looked at the group, “Are you sure no one won?”

“According to Harry, they were already a couple before seventh year began, said it happened when we were searching for the horcruxes during the summer. So no one could win since the betting started after school started.” Ron stated.

“Okay, so we combine both pools and use it for the wedding.” Remus recommended.

Ginny and Luna were already whispering and giggling at the same time.

“What are the two of you going on about?” Dean asked.

“Nothing!” both answered and continued to carry on.

“But we do this without Harry and Hermione knowing about it!” Remus said looking at the students.

“That would be quite difficult Remus, considering there's to be fittings and rehearsals and invitations! The list of what to do is endless!” McGonagall declared.

“Now that would be a challenge,” Albus said, then added in an afterthought “But we have magic on our side…”

“I think we should throw Harry a bachelor's party!” Seamus suggested.

“Mr. Finnigan, I think Mr. Potter is beyond being a bachelor by now. I will not allow my students to throw a rowdy party!” McGonagall snapped.

“But Professor…” Seamus started.

“No, Mr. Finnigan! There still has to be some semblance of decorum that has to be maintained.”

“Very well, Minerva.” Dumbledore started, “I suggest that you go and floo Molly about the discussion that took place so we can come up with a timetable of events, I would want the wedding to take place if not tomorrow night then the day after, as graduation is fast approaching.”

McGonagall nodded and left the room, once the door closed behind her Dumbledore took out his wand and waved it towards the door to seal it and place a silencing spell around his office.

“Now Mr. Finnigan about this bachelor party…” Dumbledore began.

The students looked at their headmaster with slacked jaws, utterly speechless.

“I don't think that a man should get married for the second time without a good bachelor party, do you?” Dumbledore had a twinkle in his eyes.

“But…but what about Professor McGonagall?” Neville whispered.

“Now Mr. Longbottom, what Minerva does not know will not hurt her…” Dumbledore reasoned with a smirk.

The Gryffindor students choked on their own laughter. “If Harry's going to have a bachelor party then Hermione should have a party too!” Ginny countered.

“Miss Weasley, I would not suggest otherwise.” Dumbledore replied.

After a few moments of silence, “What are you waiting for then? Why don't you start to send out the invitations?” Dumbledore stated, conjuring parchments and quills, “I recommend that the Room of Requirement be used for Harry's party and Hermione's can be held at the Head Students' common room so Professor McGonagall will not be all the wiser. I'm sure Remus you can come up with a task that Mr. Filch can do for the night to keep him away from the ruckus.”

Remus nodded, glowing with anticipation of the event that's going to take place for the son of his best friends.

After less than an hour the students finished writing out the invitations for the parties to be held in a few hours. They again called upon Dobby to bring the invites to the owlery and started to plan the `entertainment' for the party.

“Now you must remember that Harry and Hermione are already married so no strippers—especially for Harry. I for one do not wish my family jewels to be hexed by Hermione if she found out!” Lupin stated--as the boys shuddered and Luna and Ginny giggled--he continued “But…I do have an idea…” The group of students listened to their DADA professor detailing `the entertainment' as their headmaster continued to work at his desk, little did they know that he was listening intently to the conversation.

“That has got to be the most roaring idea yet!” Ron exclaimed, then with a wicked smile, “I can't wait!”

They called Dobby and Winky and asked them for suggestions for food to be served for the parties, the house elves were beside themselves at having a part in the Potters celebration party, Dobby said to leave it to them and with two pops they disappeared.

The group did not notice the time that had elapsed with all their brainstorming, and as they started to receive the replies to their invites which were all `yes' of course, they decided that it was time to look for the Potters.

“We need to get gifts too!” Ginny stated.

“Got it sis, the boys and I ordered that from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, George and Fred said they'll bring it along when they get here for the party.”

“What?! What's Harry going to do with gifts like those—prank her to pieces? There's nothing the least bit romantic from George and Fred's shop!” Ginny groaned.

“Ah but you haven't been to their basement…” Ron stated as Dean and Seamus nodded with a leer.

“Ron, I've been to their basement a load of times!”

“No, the other basement!” Ron reasoned.

“What other basement?”

“The other basement that holds the sexu…uh…never mind.” Ron mumbled as he realized what he was about to say to his sister in the headmaster's office.

Ginny shook her head in disgust, turning to Luna she asked, “What do you think we should get Hermione?”

“I think a gonad from a hippogriff in heat would help.”

Everyone cracked up, as Ron placed a kiss on the top of his girlfriend's head and explained, “Um…as appealing as that may seem, love…I don't think Hermione would appreciate it if anyone gave her internal organs of magical creatures—no matter how helpful it would be.”

“What do you suggest then?”

Ginny remained silent then brightened up, “Lingerie! We could order it from that new shop that opened at Hogsmeade…that Secret something store! Then we can have Hermione try it on, I'm sure the rest of the girls will be getting something there!”

Dean and Seamus looked at each other upon hearing this, and in unison said, “I want to go to Hermione's party instead!”

Lupin and Dumbledore laughed at that one.

“I think we need to look for Harry and Hermione now.” Ron suggested.

“Do you know were they are, Ronald?” Luna asked.

“Let's use the Marauder's map, I recall Harry left it in the room when he went looking for you last night,” Neville said as he looked at Ron.

“Fine then,” they all turned toward the door then realizing their error they turned toward their professor and headmaster.

“Err, thank you headmaster for letting us hold the parties,” Ron began, “We'll be seeing the two of you at the Room of Requirement this evening then?”

Remus nodded, “I already missed the wedding, I'm not missing this!”

Dumbledore shook his head, his eyes madly twinkling, “I apologize for my absence, Mr. Weasley. Though I wish to partake of the revelry, I must turn a blind eye and deaf ear to it. I will be sending my gift for Harry with Remus.”

With that the group nodded their thanks again and left the office.

“Oi, what do you think Dumbledore will be getting Harry?” Seamus wondered aloud.

“Whatever it is…I don't think I'd want to know. That old coot can be a dirty old man when he feels like it!” Ron exclaimed as he took Luna's hand and ran down the corridor with the rest following them as they laughed all the way to the Gryffindor tower to retrieve the map in search for their head students.

6

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A/N: So sorry for the delay, but life does intrude and the muses are usually on an off day. But here it is—the parties. Oh and from it's original 23 pages, it is now down to 19, due mainly to font size.

Thank you to all those who reviewed…I try to reply to all of you even if it's just a single liner—just wanted you to know how special your review was to me

Thanks to Twitch E.Ferret -my beta—she even had to bring this to work just to finish it! Such dedication.

Hope you all like it…Read Review and Enjoy

Disclaimer: don't own the characters—just using them for kicks…oh and I don't own the two scenes from two movies which quotes I borrowed and modified…(Let's see if you can spot them! ;P)

Chapter4

Hermione's throat was burning as she slammed the shot glass on the table, closing her eyes for a few seconds as the firewhiskey traveled down to her stomach, even though she had placed a charm on all her drinks—inconspicuously of course—to make it non-alcoholic, it still packed quite a punch. When she opened her eyes it took her a few to focus again, reaching for the next gift to be opened, this was a game that began when Katie Bell and Angelina Johnson brought out a case of firewhiskey. They had said that this sport had one simple rule—everyone was to take a shot every time Hermione would open a gift, they were now on their fourth bottle. The ladies were in the common room of the Head Students, the party was hosted by Ginny and Luna. Those privileged enough to be invited were a few prefects, all the seventh year Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff girls and the close personal friends of Hermione.

Hermione peeked inside the gift bag from Susan Bones as she squealed with glee, “At last a gift for me!” she exclaimed. She was about to pull the books out of the bag when she stopped abruptly, turning red again. She immediately let go of them and looked wide eyed to Susan.

“You have no idea what I had to go through to buy those!” Susan whispered as she too blushed. “First, I had to travel to muggle London, then I had to look for the proper spell to charm them, you do like them though, don't you?”

Hermione smiled, “Susan, I believe that you have finally discovered books that Harry would read on his own initiative!”

Ginny tried to peek in the gift bag, “What books?”

“Nothing!” both girls exclaimed.

This reaction just heightened the curiosity of the others in the room as a tug of war ensued between Ginny and Hermione for the gift bag.

“Has anyone ever told you that for such a small girl, you are freakishly strong?!” Hermione grunted as she let go.

“HA!” Ginny exclaimed victoriously as she held the gift bag. The other girls gathered around her as she poured its contents on the table before them. As the books tumbled out the girls gasped as the figures on the covers started to move then they started to giggle.

“Kama Sutra for the Brave Beginners; Sexed Up and Roaring to Go; Make Her Scream, Make Him Scream-A Guide to the Ultimate Orgasm!” Ginny laughingly read just some of the titles aloud.

“Well you didn't expect me to find them in Flourish and Blotts now did you?” Susan explained, “Plus can you believe the headlines on the Daily Prophet if they found out I bought books like these? `Niece of the Minister of Magic buying smut' Aunt Amelia would have my head!”

The girls started to flip through the pages, pointing at some of the pictures and laughing, “Oh this is so impossible…”

“What is?” Hermione asked as she downed another non-alcoholic firewhiskey shot.

“This,” Lavender showed Hermione the moving pictures of the couple executing a seemingly unfeasible position, “This is not humanly possible!”

“Hmm…” Hermione's analytical mind started to kick in as she tilted the book from one angle to another, “Well…if Harry would be willing to dangle from a pole—but maybe a broom floating at an angle would be suffice.”

Lavender stared slack jawed at Hermione, “You can't be serious?”

“And why not? Harry once said that I am quite nimble I'll have you know!” Hermione huffed.

“Wotcher Hermione, being with Harry must be some wild ride! With Remus you never can tell when his animal instinct can take over!” Tonks said as she placed her shot glass on the table, oblivious to the looks that some fifth and sixth year prefects gave her at what they found out about their DADA professor, as they whispered, “Eww!”

“Come now Hermione? We want details!” Pavarti asked.

“Well…”Hermione replied coyly.

“C'mon Herms,” Lavender whined, “You will be the only bird to bed the infamous Harry Potter till the day he dies.” Clutching her chest she dramatically added, “Pity, he's one of the Gryffindor boys who has been able to elude my clutches!”

“And for that I will be eternally grateful, Lav!” Hermione retorted with a laugh.

“Hermione, details my dear!” Ginny demanded, “Draco heard that Harry was one well hung man!”

“Wait, how could Malfoy say that?” Hermione asked suspiciously, “Has he been stealing peeks at my husband? Honestly Gin, you should be worried…”

“Hermione! The boys do shower together after quidditch you know!” Ginny retorted as she grew red “and I said he `heard' not saw!”

“Ronald is hung like a wyvern in heat…” Luna said dreamily.

All chatter stopped as the girls turned to Luna who seemed oblivious to the reaction her comment caused.

“Argh! Mental picture here, Luna.” Ginny muttered looking ill.

“Wait we digress!” Padma exclaimed, “Hermione, it's not like we're asking for a blow by blow account…”

“Speak for yourself, I want every single detail!” Pavarti countered.

Hermione sighed as she gently folded the orange beaded lace teddy the Patil sisters gave her. So far she had received a few chemises and teddy lingerie, a bunch of crotchless panties, and a horde of edible underwear not to mention the few sexual devices that still made her blush just thinking about them.

“Ladies, I am not one to kiss and tell…” Hermione stated as the girls groaned. With a wicked smile she continued, “But I am also not one to shag and keep it a secret!”

The group roared with laughter and cheers as they immediately settled down to await the particulars.

“Let's just put it this way, Harry made me appreciate the larger things in life…”

As the Head Girl opened another gift which contained a black mesh cloth camisole that left little to the imagination, “Harry had better be getting gifts that will serve my purposes, because all the gifts you twits gave me will definitely serve his!”

“Larger things in life?” a seventh year Hufflepuff squeaked.

“Just how large are we talking about? I mean girth or length?” Ginny asked with a cocked brow.

“Shouldn't you have an idea Gin? You did go out with him last year.” Lavender asked.

“I'll have you know that we did nothing more than snog!” Ginny snapped.

Hermione looked at the expectant faces on the girls, their eyes taking on a glassy glow as images of their Head Boy invaded their minds.

“Honestly ladies! It's not like I had a comparison!” Hermione retorted, “But I swear I was not walking right after our first night together! In fact I have not been in the right ever since!” then with a whisper she added, “Amazing he was even able to fit! In fact I thank all the gods in heaven for substantially blessing my husband in that department.”

All the girls swooned as their imaginations went into high gear.

“So how did he propose?” Lavender asked as she held the left hand of Hermione and admired the rings on her third finger, “How you're able to lift this hand with that magnificent rock on I have no idea.”

“Ah, well it isn't a very romantic story…”

“Aww, any story that involves you and Harry has got to be romantic!” exclaimed a Ravenclaw student.

Hermione was beaming before she started, “It was on the eve of my birthday actually, and we'd been a couple for a little more than three months by then.”

“Wait that was eight months ago and we threw a party for you, why didn't we see the ring?” Luna asked.

“Who said that I wore it on my finger during the party? It was on a chain around my neck.” Hermione replied, rolling her eyes before she continued “Harry and I just finished our nightly rounds, of course we left the Astronomy tower for last since after kicking out the other students we'd have the tower to ourselves!”

After the laughter died down, Padma said, “Well go on…”

“So there we were snogging each other senseless, then at midnight Dobby and Winky popped up and gave me three dozen white tulips—my favorite flowers by the way—after accepting them I turned around and there was Harry holding the most exquisite red rose…”

“Oh Harry, this is so lovely!” Hermione whispered as she sniffed the rose, the tulips lay at her side completely forgotten.

“Had Neville nip it for me from the green house—and before you say anything,” Harry raised his hand, before Hermione could react “he didn't get in trouble.”

Hermione smiled, “Come here Harry…” then she kissed him passionately.

They parted for breath and just stared at the stars lying in each other's arms on the charmed cushion floor of the tower. As Hermione admired the rose, she noticed a thin silver chain that was entwined around the long thorn less stem. Picking up the end she started to unwind it till she reached the flower itself, gently she pulled and from the petals popped up a ring. Hermione sat up examining the ring, unaware that Harry was watching her intently.

“Oh my…”she gasped, “Harry?” she asked dangling the ring in front of him.

Harry took the ring and slowly kneeled in front of her, “Mione, I guarantee there'll be tough times, especially with a screwed up, cockhead dark wizard at our heels and I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know in my heart that you're the only one for me.”

Harry took a deep breath, as Hermione stared at him, “What I'm simply trying to say Hermione Jane Granger is…Willyoumarryme?”

“Sorry, I didn't get that?” Hermione replied trying miserably in suppressing her giggles.

Harry raised an eyebrow at her, but huskily said “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

After a pause which to Harry seemed like an eternity, Hermione whispered, “Yes Harry…” then with more conviction, “YES!”

Harry slipped the ring on her finger and Hermione tackled him as they laughed and snogged each other senseless…

“Oh wow…” Susan muttered.

“That's just beautiful…” Pavarti sniffed as she wiped away tears from the corner of her eyes.

“And you said that it wasn't romantic!” Tonks reprimanded.

“That's the dreamiest proposal I've ever heard!” Katie declared.

“Well, I didn't want to disappoint the lot. You may have expected Harry to have proposed with fireworks and magic spells spouting out of his wand at some out of this world place! But no…it was simple and honest, and I would have it no other way…” Hermione said with a shrug.

After some time of small chit chat, someone asked, “How could you and Harry have been married at the Ministry without anyone finding out?”

Hermione looked towards the prefect from Ravenclaw who had posed the question and shrugged, “Well, we just couldn't wait any longer—we did plan the wedding after the war but it was getting difficult for us to…um…let's say maintain a sense of proper behavior, one day we decided to just have a go at it and Minister Bones did owe Harry a favor, so we decided to collect, then we placed her under a Fidelius charm—which she by the way suggested.”

“So Aunt Amelia presided over your wedding?” Susan asked quite shock at finding out this way.

Hermione nodded, “Of course she officiated the ceremony! How did you think the wedding went?”

“We thought you got a muggle wedding so no one in the wizarding world would find out.” Hannah Abbott volunteered.

”Harry's philosophy was that the Death Eaters would never think of looking at such an obvious place,” Hermione sighed “So we went for it—Gryffindor courage as one may say.”

“So you just went for it…because of Harry's philosophy?” Ginny asked looking at Hermione skeptically, “If I didn't know better, it seems as if you're taking this submissive role as a wife all too seriously!”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “Submissive, me? Oh honestly!”

She looked at Angelina and thanked her for another set of lingerie, which turned colors depending on the `intensity of the moment' according to its label. “Just because I agree to his bursts of genuineness does not mean that I will walk a step behind him—Harry knows this and we are of equal standing in this marriage, and before the lot of you have your say, he is NOT whipped!”

The girls sniggered at her comment.

“Hermione, you and Harry are of sound mind…I mean I would expect this eloping business to be done by Ginny or Ron…” Tonks began only to be interrupted by Luna's giggles and Ginny's “Hey! I resent that!” and continued, “But you and Harry?”

Hermione felt all eyes on her, she sat back, closed her eyes, and felt the beginning of a smirk grow on her face. “If any of you would have told me when we were in first year that I would get married before I finished school I'd have said you were bloomin' mad!”

The girls laughed along with Hermione, she sighed as they all took a shot of firewhiskey (non-alcoholic for her again). Her eyes misted a bit as she looked at those gathered for a party they had thrown for her on such short notice. She knew that she was truly blessed to have found someone to love and who loved her back, and to still be surrounded by friends who probably had every right to be enraged at not being informed nor invited to an important milestone in her life. If she had been in their position she might not have been so forgiving.

She turned her head to Tonks and regarded all those present, her voice was thick with emotion and those in the room could hear the genuineness in the Head Girl's soprano voice. “Have you ever felt incomplete—like there was a missing part of you that you never even realized that you were missing it till you found someone who made you whole?” some of them nodded as some just stared at Hermione, enraptured by every word uttered. She continued as she met every single gaze and said in a firm yet tender voice, “I simply love him…I've lived my life trying to prove myself to everyone else especially when I came here to Hogwarts, I wanted so hard to excel in everything in school! But it took a troll and two blokes on a fateful Halloween night to show me that there was more to life than cleverness and books!” everyone laughed at this. “But it took Harry to make me comprehend that life is meaningless without someone to love and who loves you in return…If I was truly honest with myself I'd say that I fell in love with Harry that Halloween night…” sighing she continued as the room remained silent, “You may think it's silly but I love Harry so much that it hurts when I'm not around him—and when I'm with him, I can't breath because I feel like my heart's about to explode by his mere presence!”

The girls were quiet as they absorbed what Hermione just revealed, then Susan broke the silence and asked, “When did you fall for Harry?”

Everyone held their breath and stared at Hermione because her answer would be the key on who would win the bet…

“Well let's see…” Hermione concentrated, “That would be…”

Summer between their sixth and seventh year in a forest somewhere near Bristol two people were at a campsite as their companion was wandering in the woods…

“What have the two of you been on about again?”

Hermione ran her fingers through her tangled hair tugging and muttering to herself, “Nothing Harry…”

“Bollocks! Something happened and I want to know what!”

“Honestly Harry, nothing happened,” Hermione stopped fiddling with her hair and sat dejectedly looking at the campfire before her, “Nothing happened.” She whispered as a sob escaped her.

Harry immediately rushed to her and pulled her now bawling form into his arms, “Shh…Come now Mione, tell me what big bad Ron did…” he whispered in a soothing tone.

“Oh Harry…” Hermione pushed on his chest trying to escape, but Harry's arms though strong, tenderly held on, “Nothing happened, well something happened…but then nothing…I mean…” she started crying again.

“Mione, for the first time since I've had the privilege of knowing you, this has got to be the only time you made no sense at all…” Harry chided as he ran his hand up and down her back.

“Promise you won't get mad?”

“First tell me what happened then I'll see if I could make that promise or not…”

“No Harry, promise me you won't get mad at Ron…” Hermione pleaded as Harry looked down at her face.

Sighing he nodded.

“Ron kissed me…”

Harry stiffened, “Why that bloody…”

Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist to keep Harry calm, “No! You promised! No it's not like that…Harry, I…nothing happened. I mean, yes we did kiss…but…well…”

Harry quietly remained seated flexing his hands, he felt like he wanted to hit something—like Ron's face for example. He kept an impassive expression as he turned to Hermione, “Well, what?”

“It's just—well after Ron kissed me he said that that confirmed it…”

“Confirmed what?”

Hermione moved away from Harry and wrapped her arms around herself as she evaded his stare, “Confirmed that I really am frigid…” she whispered.

Harry took a while to process what she said, he shook his head as if trying to clear it. “Ron called you frigid?” his voice dead calm.

Hermione looked at Harry and realized that he was about to go ballistic, “No Harry, it wasn't like that. Well I knew that Ron fancied me a bit since fourth year, then well we started to talk about our past…He talked about Lavender and I talked about Viktor, comparing notes if you please. It was so candid and it was the first time that Ron and I had a real conversation without me hexing him in the end…”

“So that gave him the right to call you frigid?” Harry was trying to keep his fury in check while he simultaneously started to formulate which curses he'd use on Ron.

Hermione was wringing her hands, she could feel that Harry was holding his anger by a very thin thread so she rushed in her explanation. “Well I told him that whenever Viktor and I kissed it was never as heated as what he described his snogging with Lav was. So I said that I didn't have the faintest idea whether it was Viktor or I who had a problem, then Ron suggested that we try an experiment to see who was at fault. Well after we kissed Ron said it felt like he was kissing Ginny, which wasn't a pretty picture to imagine, I told him that maybe he was doing it wrong…but he said that he used the same technique that he used on Lavender and she didn't seem to mind. Oh Harry,” Hermione wailed as she placed her head in her hands, “What if I am frigid? Now wouldn't that be icing on the cake?” She bitterly laughed and continued to rant “An ugly, plain, frigid bookworm, never like the other girls!”

Harry looked at his best friend, taking in her blood shot eyes and face all puffy from crying, her hair tangled and a bit frizzier from the humidity. Even so, the only thing he could think of was how beautiful she was, “Great Potter! Good move falling for your best friend, here she is baring her soul to you and you get a hard on in the forest, in the middle of searching for the horcruxes!”

“Is it so bad?” Harry asked quietly.

Hermione stared at him like he lost his sanity, “Of course it's bad! I mean here I am trying to be like any normal girl trying to fit into the mold and I just found out that I will never have the capacity to love!” she sobbed, “What's wrong with me? I've always been a good girl, I followed all the rules, studied hard and kept on the straight and narrow and for what?”

Harry took her into his arms again and let her cry it out, when her whimpering died down. He cupped her face in his hands, and as her warm cocoa brown eyes stared into his he whispered, “There is certainly nothing wrong with you and there is nothing absolutely ugly nor plain about you. Yes, you may be a bookworm, but it makes you, you. Miss Hermione Jane Granger, you are the warmest most genuine caring person I know,” He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and with his voice thick with emotion he continued, “My Mione…why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?”

Hermione gasped, looking into Harry's bright emerald eyes she saw the sincerity in what he just said and for the first time in her life she felt a warm sensation begin at the pit of her stomach and spread through her body. She then had a wonderful epiphany—she was completely and hopelessly in love with her best friend, Harry James Potter.

“Miss Granger, I believe that the conclusion that you reached with your previous experiment was gravely erroneous…care to have another go at it?” without waiting for a reply Harry lowered his head and their lips met.

What happened next will forever be etched into their memories. There was a rush of emotions that enveloped them and they could have sworn that their senses went into over drive as they became acutely aware of the other and as they pulled apart, a permanent connection was made.

Both of them were breathing heavily, though their kiss was chaste. Hermione stared at Harry as she raised her fingers to run over her lips, Harry gazed back not trusting himself to say anything and just waited for her to either slap him or hex him into oblivion.

“Uh…that was…um,” Hermione started as she tried to gather her bearings, with a small smirk she breathlessly whispered, “Mr. Potter, I do believe that you are right—my past conclusion was completely wrong. It seems that I have chosen the wrong partners in conducting the experiment with.”

“Well Miss Granger what do you propose we do now?” Harry asked quietly as he waited with baited breath for her reply.

“You do know that we have to keep repeating the experiment to see if we reach the same conclusion…” Hermione started to lean in.

“We do need to be accurate in our findings…”Harry then met her half way and they started their first snogfest.

At the Room of Requirement a group of men were sipping muggle ale…

“No freaking bloody way!” Ron exclaimed, “You mean I had a hand in you two getting together?!”

“You did want to find out the truth!” Harry countered.

“Seems Weasel, that you're quite the cupid!” Draco drawled.

“Enlighten me again why you're here Ferret?” Ron asked.

Shrugging his shoulders Draco took a swig and said, “Ask Ginny…”

“So who won the pool?” Charlie Weasley cut in.

“No one.” Seamus and Lupin replied in unison.

“Serves you gits right for betting on such a personal matter!” Harry laughingly answered as he tucked away the last of his presents which all his guests purchased at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and all sexual in nature.

“I cannot believe that you and Hermione were together even before we came back for our seventh year!” Dean said.

“No one really found out? Gods, what's happened to you all since I left? Gone soft have we?!” Oliver exclaimed.

“More like daft!” Dennis Creevey retorted.

“Good one Harry! A right off prank worthy of an honorary Weasley!” Fred cheered as he slapped Harry on the back.

“Pulling one over on the whole school and the wizarding world! Never thought you had it in you!” George continued.

“So, how is it shagging the smartest witch of our age?”

“Boys…What goes on in our bedroom remains in the bedroom…”Harry then added, “and all the other places where we've shagged.”

Those gathered hooted, “No disrespect Potter, but Hermione turned into a hottie in sixth year,” Ernie Macmillan, “Just give us an idea…”

Harry took a long drink from his bottle, “Let's just say it's mind blowing…”

“Bet Potter's mind wasn't the only thing being blown…” Dean retorted.

The group roared and burst into a song with vulgar lyrics that concerned a farmer, his wife and their cow. Lupin took this advantage to speak to Harry while the group was distracted.

“Harry, a word please…” Lupin then moved to a corner.

Harry followed wordlessly, swaying slightly from the alcohol consumed.

Remus looked at Harry and his eyes misted as he thought of his deceased best friends, “Harry, being the last of the Marauders alive, I cannot help but feel that the responsibility of guiding you through this phase in your life has fallen upon my shoulders...” Pausing he took a deep breath, “I'm sure your parents and Sirius would be proud of you.”

Harry looked down and nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement.

“But I'm sure that they would not want us to ruin this day by crying over the past. Tell me Harry, how has it been? Any problem in the bed scene?”

Harry's head snapped up, he stared at Lupin and couldn't find his voice to reply.

“Well, with the scene we stumbled upon last night…I know that you and Hermione have…um…I mean, I know that you both know what you're doing.” Remus ran a finger around his collar as he saw Harry blush, “Uh, Harry, you know that I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable, but dammit, I'm sure James would want me to set you straight about these things. I wish it was Sirius having this talk with you though, instead of me…”

Harry interrupted Lupin before the situation became more painful than it already was, “Look Remus, um…” Harry took a sip from his bottle, “I think Mione and I can handle these things, I mean we aren't as experienced…”

Lupin let out a chuckle at Harry's slip then stopped as he muttered, “Sorry about that…”

“Yes, Mione and I were virgins on our wedding night…” Harry hissed looking over his shoulder to see if any of the other blokes heard. “But we have been more than willing to try out different things and believe me Mione has been reading up on the subject…”

“I wasn't implying anything Harry, but I just wanted to make it official that I had this talk with you, I don't want to let James down by not watching out for his boy…”

“Duly noted, Remus…”

“Harry, you may want some tips. As I recall your parents were not really secretive about their escapades in the bedroom you know, in fact, I do believe James and Lily had a lot of practice before their wedding…”

Harry looked at Lupin and thought that he was about to hurl his stomach contents, “Remus, I don't think I'd like to hear about what my mum and dad were up to as a couple—mental picture here you know…”

“What I'm trying to say is Lily became pregnant with you immediately after they got married.” Remus looked at Harry who was trying to dodge his glance, “You and Hermione have been married for six months and no bun in the oven yet? You sure your using the parts properly?”

Harry was red as a tomato and had no snappy comeback, little did he know that Ron had sneaked up behind him and had caught the last part of their conversation. Slapping his hand on Harry's shoulder he pulled him towards the group, “Did the lot of you hear that? Harry's been using his parts wrong!” Ron shouted to the guys as Harry looked like he was going to Kadavera Lupin. Remus, for his part had an unapologetic smirk on his lips as he raised his bottle to him in salute, “Pay back Harry, for not inviting me to your wedding!” It then dawned to Harry that he was set up by his and his father's best mates…

The rest of the boys started to make wise cracks about his manhood. “You sure you plugging the right hole Harry?” Seamus started to which everyone started to double up.

“May be the hole is right but the plug isn't big enough to fill it!” Dean added causing Oliver to fall from his chair in hysterics.

“Come now boys, let Potter be…” Draco said which caused the rest of the group to sober up at the shock of having Malfoy defend Potter.

“Never thought I'd say this but,” Harry waved his hand towards Draco, “Thank you Malfoy.”

But little did Harry know that Malfoy was not done, “I'm sure he doesn't want his shortcomings magnified!”

This caused them to roar with laughter, “It's true though, one must wonder. I mean with Fleur and me, it took us less than two months before we found out that we had an addition to the family!” Bill Weasley added.

“Did it occur to you that may be Mione and I are not ready to start a family yet? I did just off the darkest wizard of our day a few weeks ago.” Harry retorted.

“Sure Harry, whatever you say…” Fred replied making lewd wanking hand signals in the air, as they kept laughing.

“Not to worry it's not in the size of the ship Harry, but the movement of the ocean!” George consoled.

“Must I ask Severus to make a potion for you Harry, you know to put lead into one's pencil as one may say?” Remus cracked.

“No Remus, there is enough lead in my pencil thank you very much!” Harry snapped, his face all red with embarrassment.

“I understand Potter's dilemma though, considering he does have a big job ahead of him every time he climbs into bed with the bookworm,” a very pissed Terry Boot stated nonchalantly. Unaware of the storm he was about to invoke he continued, “Having to sleep, let alone shag someone like her entails quite a lot of imagination and a very dark room!”

A multitude of wands immediately trained on Terry's head as he was bringing the bottle of ale to his lips, “Are you bloody mad?” Ron exclaimed.

Harry calmly tucked his wand back into his cloak, flicking his hand he had Terry up in the air, “Ron enlighten me on why this pranny is here? Malfoy I can comprehend, in fact I would have expected a comment like that coming from him,” Draco sniggered at this, his wand also aimed at the boy in the air, “—but from you? A Ravenclaw? Boot, you have a lot of bollocks to insult my wife in front of me…”

“C'mon Potter, we're all just having a good time, a shot at you and a shot at Granger…” Terry reasoned, taking in the furious look on Ron and Harry's faces, “What? It's not like I was the one who took her virtue or something…If the Prophet is to be believed, she was plucked way before you, Potter—may be by the Bulgarian bon-bon.”

“Now you've signed your own death sentence boy…” Remus stated as he made no attempt to intervene.

“You must really be pissed face to be saying this without wetting your pants, Boot.” Harry said in a menacing voice, “I know that Mione would have my head for this, but…” then with another wave of his hand, Terry went flying through the air and crashed into the wall. As he slid to the floor Harry lifted him up again, this time physically by his collar, “Mione walked down the aisle as pure and innocent as an angel the day we were married, you prick. Never speak ill of my wife again, or you may not be as lucky as to walk away…” Harry hissed, “By the by, it's not Granger anymore—it's Potter, Hermione Jane Potter—remember that name because if it wasn't for her, none of us would be alive today.” Then he let go as the Ravenclaw collapsed unconscious to the floor.

Michael Corner stepped up to Harry and clasped his shoulder, “Sorry about that but Terry's been an arse ever since he found out about you and Hermione. Jealousy does things to people you know?” he then whipped out his wand and levitated his house mate, “We'll be leaving now—thanks for the invite, and I'm sure Terry didn't mean what he said.”

Harry looked at the two Ravenclaw boys, “Look, just dump Boot back at your common room, then you can come back…No need for one guy to put a mockers on the party eh?”

Michael smirked back, “Thanks Harry, I'll be right back then.”

After the pair exited the room, Justin Finch-Fletchy commented, “That was bloody wicked Potter!”

That broke the ice and the party resumed as more bottles of alcohol appeared. Harry was having a good time when he noticed Lupin whisper something to Ron, who brought out a small mirror and was talking into it. He became cautious about what was up the sleeves of his friends, suddenly the room changed and instead of a pub like setting, the lights dimmed as a stage with a catwalk appeared with a pole at the end.

Harry was pulled to the end of the catwalk and pushed down on a cushioned seat by Ron just as Lupin pushed a plastic crown on his head. He became aware that the group had grown much larger and noted that the girls had joined them. He saw Ginny and Luna sitting on the laps of Malfoy and Ron respectively, Tonks was standing beside Lupin who had his arm around her shoulders and the other girls were sitting in the different chairs that appeared.

Harry turned his attention on to the stage as loud music started to play, “What the hell…”

Looking up he saw a silhouette of a woman in a provocative pose on the stage, then the screen that hid her identity disappeared and Harry dropped his bottle of ale as he stared at his wife. She was in a Hogwart's uniform that definitely seemed to fit as though it were her first year one's. The skirt reached and inch or two below her crotch, the tight white blouse was knotted below her breasts and her Gryffindor tie was on loosely. She also had knee high socks and she was wearing her cloak open, her hair in pigtails and she was sucking on a lollipop—the all in all effect was that she was hot! And Harry's tight pants told the world so! As she strutted to the music, their group of guests began howling and clapping. When she finally reached the pole she jumped on it and spun around with her back arched and when she landed gracefully she tossed her cloak to the side as she looked down at her husband who had an eyebrow raised, his eyes dark with lust.

Hermione gracefully leaped down and sauntering over to Harry, bent down at the waist and placed a hand on his chest, “Someone asked for a stripper?”

“I don't think my wife would approve…”

Hermione released the clips holding up her pigtails and her hair softly came tumbling down, “Really now, a wife huh? Somehow I thought you looked like a man who wouldn't want to be tied down…”

“I think she slipped me an amortentia when I wasn't looking…” Harry said with a chuckle.

Narrowing her eyes, she hissed, “Why I ought to…” then with a smirk, Hermione left him and headed over to Neville. She sat on his lap and took off her tie and placed it around his neck. Poor Neville looked like he had just swallowed Trevor, he just sat there like a wet noodle as he looked at Harry fearfully. This caused the audience to laugh and some of the guys were sending him catcalls.

Hermione then moved over to Seamus, who unlike Neville stood up and danced with her provocatively, she then pulled Dean up and the trio danced with her sandwiched between them, but fearing what happened to Terry no physical contact was made. Hermione unbuttoned her blouse but didn't untie the knot, giving everyone a peek at her black lace bra as she moved through the crowd, even stopping to dance in front of Lupin, who found himself sandwiched between Hermione and Tonks and looking mighty uncomfortable!

“What the hell got into Hermione?” Ron whispered to Luna.

“We told her that we've been slipping Felix Felicis in her firewhiskey…”

“You had firewhiskey?! Dean was right, we should have gone to Hermione's party!” Ron retorted.

Draco, having heard Ron and Luna's conversation, “You really slipped Felix Felicis in her drinks?”

Ginny looked up at him, “Of course not, but one must never underestimate the powers of psychology!”

Draco chuckled, “That love, is cunningness worthy of any Slytherin!”

“Wash you're mouth Malfoy! I'm a Gryffindor through and through! Got the courage to hook up with you didn't I?” Ginny retorted with an eyebrow up.

“So very true love,” Draco bent his head and started snogging Ginny, seeing Hermione in a get up like that certainly turned him on, “Hey Red, think you still got those first year uniform of yours somewhere?”

Ginny smiled, “Whatever for?”

“Well…we could think of something imaginative to do with it….” Draco said wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Get a room…wait, don't get a room!” Ron exclaimed, as he realized that it was his sister he was talking to.

Luna looked at Ginny and gave her a trademark dreamy smile, “Leave him to me…get out of here…we've got a big day tomorrow and I still have to de-nargle the flower arrangements!”

Ginny took Draco's hand and led him out of the room, pulling along some of the people in the room, soon the Room of Requirement was half empty.

“Let's say we leave these two alone, eh?” Tonks whispered to Lupin.

“I don't think they care if they have an audience or not!” Lupin remarked as he watched, though Hermione was still fully clothed sans her tie and cloak, Harry looked like he was about to burst into flames at the teasing his wife was putting him through.

“Let them be Remus—heard through a grapevine that you and Ron gave Harry one hell of a time…”

“He deserved it! Not inviting his best mate and me? Unthinkable!” Lupin ranted.

“Well, enough's enough…time I got some attention…” Tonks then rubbed up against Remus, who let out a growl.

Looking at the few other students who were talking amongst themselves, Remus took Tonks hand and turning to Ron and Luna, “I suggest we call it a night…I for one do not need see how the Potters go at it…It was bad enough when Sirius and I would run into James and Lily during their days!”

Ron and Luna snickered at this and went out with them along with those left behind. Just as Ron was to close the door to the Room of Requirement he saw his two best friends practically licking each other's throats, Hermione was straddling Harry clawing his clothes off on the seat and Harry had one hand under Hermione's skirt. Shaking his head in mirth he witnessed the room change as a large poster bed appeared in scarlet and gold linens. A fireplace emerged from the wall, different sizes and shapes of candles and vases full of flowers surrounded the room, “Must be Hermione's doing.” He thought to himself taking into consideration the romantic ambiance, then he saw that the walls and ceiling of the room transform into mirrors, “then again I may be wrong…” as he closed the door with a wicked smile.

At the common room at the Gryffindor tower a pair of women and men sat on the couch…

“Albus, I know you know what's going on here…” McGonagall burred.

“Whatever are you going on about Minerva?” Dumbledore answered, trying hard to keep the smirk from appearing on his face.

“Some of my students have been missing during the night. I just saw Mr. Corner levitating a housemate of his to their Common Room, when I asked him what had happened he said that Mr. Boot collided into a wall, but ran away before I asked how that happened.” McGonagall detailed.

“Do you think we should be alarmed about the missing students?”

McGonagall gave Dumbledore a hard look and shook her head, “According to the other Heads of House, everyone was accounted for by curfew, except for the prefects who are still doing their rounds.”

“There you have it then, no need for concern.” Dumbledore stated as he took a sip of his hot cocoa.

Molly decided that it would be prudent to change the subject, “Minerva, do you like the motif for the wedding?”

“Yes Molly, I believe Harry and Hermione would love the colors you picked.” McGonagall replied, her features softening.

“What we chose, Minerva.” Molly said as she patted the hand of the professor, “I wouldn't have reached this point had it not been for your help.”

“Albus, how could the kids have gotten married right under our noses and manage to hide it from everyone? Six months is a very long time to keep something this big a secret you know.” Arthur inquired.

“From what I have gathered, only Harry, Hermione and Minister Bones were the participants in the ceremony…and since Amelia was under the Fidelius Charm no one else could have known even if she wanted to tell or if she was under duress.” Albus replied.

“Then who was the secret keeper?” Molly asked.

“Considering what we've encountered in the Head Students' Chamber, Mrs. Potter herself.” Dumbledore said.

McGonagall gasped, “No wonder Harry couldn't say anything when we asked what was going on and he kept looking at Miss Grang—er…Mrs. Potter.” Nodding she looked at Dumbledore, “It makes sense.”

Before anyone else could have their say, the portrait door opened and Ron entered after bringing Luna back to the Ravenclaw tower.

“Mum! Dad!” Ron exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”

“Well that's a welcome any mother would love!” Molly retorted, “Come here and give your mum and dad a hug!”

Ron sheepishly went into the open arms of his mother and almost had the breath squeezed out of him. Turning to his dad he received a slap on his back, then he nodded to his headmaster and head of house.

“Again, what are you doing here?”

“Well, we do have a surprise wedding ball to arrange for tomorrow, we just wanted to start the preparations as early as possible.” Molly answered.

“By the by, George and Fred handed over what they claim to be the students' pool—I must say, quite a sum indeed.” Arthur added.

“We kept the money at their shop, knew it would have been the safest place other than Gringotts.” Ron exclaimed.

“Arthur, the faculty pool will be handed to you by Remus.” McGonagall said as she turned to the elderly Weasley.

“It has already been done, Minerva.” Arthur assured.

“Very well then, were you waiting for me?” Ron asked.

“Why yes, but we would have wanted to see Ginny too. The business we have here is to get you and Ginny to fetch the best dress robes of Harry and Hermione so we can get it ready for the festivities tomorrow night.” Molly explained.

“Okay then, but Ginny should be here by now, she left earlier than me.” Ron stated as he looked up towards the girls staircase.

“Left from where, dear?” Molly inquired as McGonagall turned her head.

“Uh…” Ron stuttered, “Um…from nightly rounds! Yeah…from nightly rounds, Ginny came up earlier since she had to finish her potions assignment.”

Molly nodded as McGonagall's eyes narrowed, three boys came down the stairs talking animatedly, upon seeing Ron before noticing the others in the room, “Cor, it's over then? Tell us did Hermione take it all off?” Seamus started then shut up immediately after Dean hit him on the upside of the head.

“What's over, Mr. Finnigan? And what did Mrs. Potter take off?” McGonagall burred.

“Uh…” Dean began.

“Well…” Neville added, blushing.

“There was an incident at the third floor boys' bathroom, Peeves was at it again. Harry had a hard time cleaning up the mess and asked Hermione if she could help. Seamus was the one who fetched Hermione and well…” Ron explained immediately.

“Yeah, such a mess! Didn't think Hermione would be able to get the crap off the walls!” Seamus finished.

“Mr. Finnigan! I'll have you clean you're language up in front of guests!” McGonagall hissed, “Five points from Gryffindor!”

Seamus just looked down as the other boys groaned.

“Ron about those dress robes…” Molly began.

Ron headed out the portrait door, followed by his parents then the professors. When the door swung open Ginny was in front of it snogging Draco good night.

“GINERVA MOLLY WEASLEY! IS THIS THE REASON YOU LEFT YOU'RE PREFECT DUTIES EARLY?!” Molly screeched, as she watched Ginny and Draco jump apart.

“Mum!” Ginny exclaimed, stunned to see her parents at school and worst—seeing her snogging her boyfriend!

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Such a pleasure of seeing you here in our fine institution.” Draco stated, his voice velvet as he bowed politely to his girlfriend's parents, “Please excuse us, I assure you that what you have just witnessed was merely my expression of love for your daughter, a simple good night kiss. Rest assured that I have not corrupted the virtues of Ginerva and nor do I intend to till she is my wife…”

Ginny stared up at Draco, completely floored. “Thank Merlin for that Slytherin tongue!” she thought.

Molly was speechless, never had anyone been able to weather her tirade, and considering the situation they had been caught, and luckily Draco was able to slither his and Ginny's way out of punishment.

“You've been giving marriage thought now have you Mr. Malfoy?” Arthur asked.

“Very much Mr. Weasley, every since Ginny had agreed to be my girlfriend.” Draco replied.

“Do wait till she's out of school though—I know that you will be graduating in a few days, but please have Ginny graduate a Weasley instead of a Malfoy.”

“I'll be willing to wait, sir.”

Arthur nodded as Molly sniffed, “My baby!” as she gathered Ginny into her arms then looking at Malfoy, pulled him into their hug.

“Must be a Potter thing—getting married before you graduate…” Dean whispered to Ron, Seamus and Neville, the commotion brought the three boys out again.

“Must be contagious! Staying to close to the Potters probably causes this wedding fever!” Seamus retorted.

“What have you to say, Ron?” Neville asked as he noticed the shocked expression on his friend's face.

“Blimey! Ferret was able to survive mum's wrath and was able to get Ginny out of any punishment for her! He's good…” Ron whispered back.

“Since you're here Ginny,” Molly said after composing herself, “you can go with your brother to fetch Hermione's best dress robes for the wedding tomorrow night.”

Ginny turned to Ron, who shrugged, “Mum, don't you think that a gown would be more appropriate for Hermione?”

“Well, that would have been ideal dear, but I don't have her measurements so we can send it to Madam Malkin's.” Molly's eyes started to glow, “but, that would be a great idea!”

“Do you think Madam Malkin could make a gown for her on such short notice?” McGonagall asked.

“I don't think she would turn down the opportunity to dress the wife of Harry Potter!” Molly replied.

“Hermione would just die! She told us that the only regret she had of getting married in the sly was that she wasn't able to wear her dream wedding gown!” Ginny said giddily, as she jumped up and down oblivious to the hand signals that Ron was giving her to shut up.

“Well then, it's settled.” Arthur stated, “We must get the measurements of Hermione without her having a clue of what we are up to. Any suggestions on how we should do that?”

“Let us just get the dress robes of our Head Students and merely base it on that.” Dumbledore suggested as he did notice the signals Ron was sending, “I for one learned my lesson from last night to not interrupt their nightly activities.” he added with a knowing smile.

Bewildered, Molly asked, “What happened last night, Albus?”

Dumbledore pretended he did not hear Molly's question as he turned his attention to the boys, “Mr. Malfoy, I believe that you're prefect duties are over now that you have seen fit to properly escort Miss Weasley back to her tower? You may now head back to the dungeons for some needed sleep…As for the lot of you, head back to your dorms and Mr. Weasley please fetch us those dress robes we so wish to attain.”

The boys looked at each other, then after a curt nod, Draco started to walk off. He had taken a few steps when he doubled back and placed a chaste kiss on Ginny's cheek then turned on his heels. The three Gryffindor boys were starting to head back to the tower when…

“Albus, I do want those measurements. I'm sure that I could come up with am excuse that Hermione would believe,” Molly began.

“But Molly, we have no idea where those two are, they aren't in their chambers. You did hear Ron mentioning about Peeves and the bathroom,” Arthur stated ignorant to the meaningful looks his son and daughter were exchanging, “It could take all night.”

“Men! No grasp on the importance of a wedding gown!” Molly exasperated, “It's a wedding gown, something Hermione will cherish forever…It would mean more to her than anything we cook up for tomorrow.”

Arthur took in the stance of his wife and knew there was no going around this once her mind was made up, “Very well then, where do you think they're at?”

“Room of Requirement…” Neville said then smacked his forehead when the slip was made, he saw that all his friends were looking at him furiously.

“Wonderful! Let's be off then!” Arthur stated as he and his wife made way to the seventh floor, the rest of the group looked at each other flabbergasted.

“Arthur wait!” Dumbledore said as he tried to stall the couple.

Draco having been within earshot of the conversation that took place, retraced his steps and joined the four boys, his girlfriend and McGonagall.

“Is there something that you would want to tell me?” McGonagall asked as she stared down the group.

“Nothing professor.” Ron replied.

“You are sure Mr. Weasley?” Ron nodded.

“What are the two doing in the Room of Requirement then?” she continued interrogating.

“Studying?” Ginny volunteered.

“Are you asking it or stating it?” McGonagall asked.

“Uh…stating it professor.” Ginny mumbled as she felt Draco reach for her hand in assurance.

“What are they studying there then?”

“Anatomy…” Seamus mumbled.

“What's that Mr. Finnigan?”

“Astronomy, professor. Harry and Hermione said that they needed the sky to be enchanted so they could study the alignment of the planets and stars.” Seamus replied.

“Very well, if none of you would want to tell me then I guess I just have to find out myself…Oh and Mr. Finnigan?”

”Yes professor?”

“The Potters do not take Astronomy….”

The group remained silent as the Transfiguration professor followed the others towards the said room.

“Not again…” Ron muttered.

“Think we should follow them?” Neville suggested.

“Definitely Longbottom. I missed the free show last night, don't want to miss out on it again.” Draco drawled, as he pulled a willing Ginny with him to get to the room.

“Well…”Dean began, “What do you reckon we do?”

“Go along.” Seamus said firmly.

“I don't think it's a good idea…” Neville said with uncertainty in his voice, but was following in the wake of Dean and Seamus.

“Coming Weasley?”

Ron was not sure he wanted to be there when his parents walk in on Harry and Hermione shagging. Mentally smacking himself, “How stupid can I get?! Mum and dad with McGonagall and Dumbledore along with Ferret are going to catch Harry and Hermione shagging—this is too good to pass up and so hard for them to live it down!” Then with a wicked smirk on his face he started to sprint to catch up with the lot of them, “Wouldn't miss it for a Chudley Cannon's game!”

*****

Wow! Ron giving up a Chudley Cannon game just to see the expression of his parents catching his best friends shagging? Ah, priceless…

Won't be elaborating on what exactly happened here—I'll be going straight to the ceremony and how the couple is going to find out about it…

I will take into consideration some of the suggestions which were thrown my way—the fifth and last chapter is being written, some parts are done and others are still figments of my imagination just waiting to be tapped…and no the last word to this story is NOT `scar'

Till the next

3

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Finally it is done…*sigh*

I would like to truly thank my beta reader Twitch E. Ferret for without her this story would just be burning in flames!

To all those of you who read, reviewed, gave me encouragement and those who extended their suggestions—thank you.

I hope you all took pleasure reading this as much as I had writing it…without further ado—the final chapter read review and more importantly ENJOY.—oh by the way—still belongs to that rich author in the UK…goes by the acronym JKR, wonder if you heard of her….

Chapter 5

“OW! HERMIONE! That hurt!” Harry exclaimed as he shot up from the bed and rubbed the side of his head.

Sneering at him were Draco, Remus, and Ron who had his hand up in the air, ready to give another blow.

“Well get up! Can't be late to your own wedding, can we?” Ron replied nonchalantly.

Harry looked on the other side of their bed and was greeted with a rumpled sheet and an empty space where his wife should have been.

“Looking for something, Harry?” Remus asked playfully.

“I seem to have misplaced my wife…”

The three gentlemen started laughing as Harry looked at them with irritation.

“Glad you find this amusing…” Harry grumbled.

“Potty, any distress you find yourself in is always amusing to me!” Draco retorted.

“Malfoy—enlighten me as to why you're here?”

“Again Potter—ask Ginny…” Draco replied smugly.

“Gentlemen, let us not forget the task at hand. We are here to get Harry ready for the most important day of his life—for the second time.” Lupin addressed the two beside him.

“Harry, hope we didn't surprise you last night.” Ron started as he started to blush, “Mum insisted that she speak to Hermione, and well you know that once Mum's mind's made up—an army of heliopaths won't deter her.”

Remus, Draco, and Harry stared at Ron before bursting into laughter.

“Ron, you were definitely channeling Luna right there!” Harry sputtered, “Next I'll be seeing you with a necklace of radishes!”

“Piss off Harry!” Ron embarrassingly replied while the other three kept snickering.

Remus walked over to the closet and started to throwing clothes at Harry, “No need to greet your woody a good morning, now do we?”

“Well you wouldn't need to greet my woody had my wife been here instead of you lot!” Harry retorted.

“C'mon Harry, shouldn't you be all knackered by now?” Ron whined.

“If you'd seen my wife's glorious body then you wouldn't have to ask me that. Wait! I believe you have—twice!” Harry replied.

“I did not need to be reminded of seeing my two best friends naked and shagging!” Ron moaned, putting a hand over his mouth trying to lower the bile threatening to rise.

“Harry, as much as I'd love to hear your exploits with your wife—we do have a lot to do before tonight…” Remus started only to be interrupted by the figure in bed.

“And what will be happening tonight?”

“You're wedding of course!” all three said in unison rolling their eyes at him.

Harry grabbed his glasses from the bedside table and massaged his temples for a moment before he turned his head towards the three beside his bed. “I think you failed to miss the very important memo that I already am married.”

“That you are Harry, but we decided to throw you a wedding ceremony with the pot that no one won.” Remus explained.

Harry looked at them like they were wonky, then fell back on to the bed and covered his head with a pillow. “Get out! Get out you gits! I need my sleep and I reiterate I need my Hermione! If you care for the proper alignment of your bullocks with your pecker then I suggest you leave me alone and return my wife.” That said he turned to lie on his stomach head still covered with the pillow.

Ron having been fed up with the childish attitude his best friend displayed, pulled the covers from Harry. However he immediately regretted it when they were all literally mooned, this startled Harry who turned, sat up and was now holding the pillow between his legs.

“Scared we'll see what little you have?” Draco quipped.

“No Ferret, afraid you'll be enormously jealous.” Harry retorted, “Now get out of my bedroom and let me have my moment of peace.”

“Potter, get your arse out of bed and let's get on with this” Draco growled.

“Malfoy, why don't you get your arse out of my face!” Harry snapped.

“Shut it both of you! You!” pointing his wand at Draco, “The only reason you're here is because I promised my sister I'd give you a chance, so behave or I may let it slip that you wanted to curse Harry the next time I see Ginny.”

Draco's face paled as he sputtered, “That's a bloody lie Weasel and you know it!” before shutting his mouth.

Ron turned and aimed his wand to Harry, “You, get dressed. You have a bloody damn wedding to see to, not because you're friends decided to surprise you with this wedding ceremony, but because of your Mione!” Seeing the expression of disbelief on Harry`s face, Ron continued to rage, “Yes, because of your wife you selfish prat! Did it ever occur to you that Hermione got married in the simplest way one can ever imagine? She deserves a grand wedding with all the bloody trimmings and to walk down that damn aisle in the gown of her dreams! So `Mr. I-don't-give-a-shite' get your arse off that bed and start thinking with the head on your neck and not the one between your legs!”

Harry continued to just stare at Ron, slack jawed—never did he expect a speech like that from this Weasley, it definitely had a much more devastating impact than had Ron beat him to a pulp. Not once since he'd been married to Hermione had he ever thought of the sparse nature concerning their wedding ceremony. Now his other best friend had made him see the light; Harry thought ruefully looking at his red haired best friend, “If he's the one with an emotional range of a teaspoon, then I have the compassion of a butterknife…”

Red in the face with remorse, Harry muttered, “Sorry…” then grabbed the boxers and jeans Remus had thrown at him earlier. Wrapping the blanket around his waist he headed to the loo, and started to rush through his morning rituals.

After the groom's abrupt departure, Remus and Draco turned toward Ron who had his head bowed as he twirled his wand between his fingers, raising his head he had a satisfied smirk, “You have no idea how many times I had to rehearse that barmy script mum had me use on Harry!”

*****

“Ginny!”

Ginny kept on humming, Hermione was gazing at her reflection in the mirror as Ginny attacked her hair with brushes, so she repeated, “GINNY!”

“Sorry…” Ginny glanced up at Hermione's grimacing reflection and lessened her pull on the brush.

“Quit complaining Hermione! Merlin—you'd think we're murdering you here!” Lavender exasperated, “Now sit still while I apply some slap…”

“You are putting too much! I swear, even I don't recognize myself!” Hermione said. She shifted in her seat in front of the mirror who commented, “Don't you think that's just too much rogue?”

“Wotcher, Hermione! I've heard of blushing brides but you're down right cooked!” Tonks exclaimed as she changed her spiky pink hair to a much longer burgundy with gold highlights to match the wedding's motiff.

“My thoughts exactly!” Hermione agreed as she smirked at Lavender.

“Fine!” Lavender sighed as she waved her wand over Hermione's face, the make up vanishing.

Hermione smiled as Lavender pouted, “You would want to have a little colour you know! It is your wedding day…”

“As far as I remember, my wedding day was six months ago!” Hermione snapped.

Ginny and Lavender exchanged glances and rolled their eyes at Hermione's comment. They looked over to Luna who was waving her wand over the beautiful bouquet of white tulips gathered together by a scarlet and gold bow.

“There,” Luna uttered as she stepped back to admire her work proudly, “The bouquets have been de-nargled and I placed a charm to prevent any blibbering humdingers from being attracted to it.” As she slipped her wand over her ear and turned to the bride.

“Uh…Thanks Luna.” Hermione mumbled while her head was pulled to the side by Ginny's brushing.

“I'll be bald before you're through!” Hermione exclaimed. “Enough!”

Ginny pulled back as Hermione waved her wand and her hair straightened a bit and ended in soft ringlets.

“Well Herms, why didn't you just do that in the first place?” Ginny whined.

“Because Ginerva, you insisted on fixing my hair…and stop calling me Herms!” Hermione reprimanded.

The door to Hermione's chamber burst open as Molly Weasley walked in accompanied by Professor McGonagall. They were levitating the bride's maids gowns behind them, sending them to their respective owners.

“Mrs. Potter, you do not seem to be ready yet.” McGonagall observed.

“Exactly professor!” Lavender bleated, “She has been an absolutely horrible bride! You'd think that she would be sensible in allowing us to put on some make up on her!”

“Hermione dear, why don't you let Lavender do what she does best?” Molly intervened, in a placating tone, “We do have a lot going on now and aside from her helping out, she does have to prepare herself for the ceremony as well.”

“In my opinion Lavender is just applying too much,” Hermione reasoned.

“But Hermione dear, Lavender is much more of an expert in things like this,” Molly countered as she flitted about helping Pavarti fit her dress at the same time waving her wand making small alterations.

“I totally agree with Molly,” McGonagall voiced as she tried to dissuade Luna from wearing red beets as earrings, “Mrs. Potter, allow Miss Brown to at least add some colour to you.”

Lavender turned to Hermione and smugly uttered, “Thank you!” as she took out her collection of lipsticks.

“A lot to do!” Molly kept saying, satisfied with the disaster averted, as she moved from Pavarti to Tonks, “So many things to oversee!”

Hermione abruptly stood up and approached the Weasley matriarch then hugged her suddenly, “Thank you so much.”

Molly returned an equally tight hug and sniffed, “It's nothing dear.”

Turning to her transfiguration professor she did the exact same thing, who stood stiffly and patted Hermione's back rather awkwardly.

“Harry and I do not deserve all this hassle!” Hermione cried, “I mean considering that we hid our wedding from all of you!”

“Nonsense, Mrs. Potter. You and Mr. Potter deserve to have at least something in your lives go normally,” McGonagall countered.

“This is normal?” Ginny muttered as a needle was sewing her hem to shorten it, looking over at her mother who was snatching at Luna's red beet earrings.

“Ginerva!” Molly scolded, as she vanished Luna's earrings “This is as normal as it would get in view of the short time for preparation.”

Hermione sat back at the vanity as Lavender started to compare which shades she would use on her, “I believe it's going smashingly! And the gown!” she gushed, “It's utterly magnificent!”

“As it should be!” McGonagall stated as she turned to Ginny to overlook the alterations.

“I wish I could see your gown.” Pavarti said whimsically as she gazed at the naked mannequin.

The gown was especially made for the wife of Harry Potter, by none other than Madam Malkin herself even on such short notice, was under a charm that no one was allowed to see until the ceremony save for the bride, and if the expression on Hermione's face was any indication when she first set her eyes on it, then it certainly was a spectacular bridal gown.

“Now Pavarti, we all want to see the gown,” Lavender said as she was trying desperately to get Hermione to put on more cosmetics, “But patience is a virtue, and Hermione did say that the gown is worth the wait so let it go, we'll see it when we see it.”

“Hermione, you think you might need some help putting on the gown?” Ginny slyly asked, knowing fully well that if anyone would have to help the bride dress then the charm would be lifted for their eyes.

“No thank you Ginny, Madam Malkin said that she would be the one to dress me,” Hermione replied as she chose a light rose coloured lipstick and applied it sparingly as Lavender and Pavarti stared at her with horror.

“Hermione, oh please let Lavender apply that for you.” Pavarti implored.

“Oh very well, but promise that my Harry will recognize me under all this gunk!” she exclaimed as Lavender nodded and beamed at her while beginning to work her own magic on Hermione.

*****

Hermione sat in front of her vanity in an ivory silk robe wallowing in her thoughts anticipating the arrival of the designer of her gown when she saw from the reflection on the mirror the door open a crack and closed quietly, heard a soft squelch of the door and witnessed the walls of the room flash, with a small smile she whispered, “Harry…”

“You look radiant…” Harry whispered back.

“What are you doing here?” Hermione asked as she stood and turned toward the origin of her husband's voice.

“Missed you too much…”

Hermione tentatively reached out, feeling a silky cloth she tugged gently and as the invisibility cloak fell it unraveled Harry in jeans and a t-shirt with a small velvet pouch dangling on his outstretched finger, a lopsided smile on his face.

“So help me Harry James Potter, I will hex you where the sun does not shine if you came here to merely make me pull your finger!” Hermione screeched.

Harry laughed heartily as he pulled Hermione into his arms and nipped her earlobe, “As hilarious as your suggestion and repercussions are, I come bearing you gifts.”

“Why didn't you have Ron bring it or pass it on to one of the girls? You know that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding,” Hermione admonished with little conviction as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

Harry kissed her forehead, “And when did you start believing in superstitions?”

“Since you entered,” Hermione exclaimed as she slapped his arm playfully, “such impeccable timing Love, I was about to go wonky with all the girls flitting about I ordered them to leave…I just needed a little time to myself.”

“If you want I can go…” Harry suggested as he made a move to untangle himself from Hermione's arms.

“Don't you dare suggest it!” Hermione then stood on her tip toes and brushed her lips on his.

“What was that?” Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

“A kiss of gratitude, you git!”

“Pathetic attempt Mrs. Potter, one may even think that you've lost your touch.”

“That so?” She then wrapped her arms around Harry's neck and pulled his head down as she kissed him. She felt his smile on her lips as she opened her mouth to run her tongue over his lower lip, then gently sucking on it. Harry's breath hitched as he groaned, when she pulled back she asked, “How was that?”

“To quick to make a decision…I think you should do it again—“

With a smile Hermione complied, after a few intense moments she asked, “Well Mr. Potter—what's the verdict?”

“Much better.” Harry replied resting his forehead on hers. He then remembered the main reason he went looking for her.

“Mione, I have something to give you,” Harry then pulled back slightly and opened the velvet pouch pouring the contents into his hand he held it to Hermione for her inspection.

“What is it?” Hermione whispered peering at the items in his hand.

“Dropped by Gringotts this morning with Remus, Ron, and unbelievably Malfoy!” Harry started with a chuckle, resting his forehead on hers as they looked at the jewelry “Remus said that there was something he wanted me to retrieve at my vault, and when we got there he ransacked the place telling us to search for a small black velvet pouch. When Ron found it Remus explained that these jewels belonged to the Potter family for a very long time—said that dad gave it to mum to wear on their wedding day so here I am, being tradition and all…But I understand if you decide not to wear them since you may have something else you were planning to wear.” Harry finished, his voice thick with emotion. When he raised his head his emerald eyes were filled with remorse, “I'm so sorry Mione, I never knew about the jewelry or else I would have given them to you when we were married at the Ministry—forgive me for screwing up your wedding…”

Hermione looked up at him and placed a soothing hand on his cheek, “Hey…you did not screw up our wedding day. Now the wedding night was a different story as I recalled that was all we did…” both laughed softly at her lewd remark.

As their laughter waned, Harry started to become solemn, and complained “You're wedding was at the Ministry, Mione! With only Minister Bones present. The room wasn't even fancy and we had muggle street clothes on—we didn't even wear our best robes! I'm so sorry that there was nothing spectacular about it…”

Hermione sighed as she took his free hand and led him to the chaise lounge and sat him down, she then kneeled and sat on her ankles in front of him as he continued to sulk. She took his face in both her hands and kissed him, then looking at him said with such sincerity and love, “First of all Mr. Potter it was not only my wedding but our wedding. Now our real wedding six months ago—the one at the Ministry—was all that I had ever wanted. When did you know me to need frills and lace?” Harry gave her a small knowing smile in reply.

“Honestly Harry, I thought by now you'd have overcome this guilt trip, shouldering all the blame for a fault that is non-existent!” Hermione softly chastised, “I had no idea that you regretted our wedding at the Minist—“

“Whoa! Hold on there Mione!” Harry immediately cut her train of thought, “I do NOT regret our wedding—NEVER will I ever regret that, but I know that you girls have always dreamed about you're wedding day…and I go on and ruin your dream by charging into situations without thinking it through—again.”

“Harry, I believe we both went charging into this situation together.” Hermione replied softly, then with a deep breath she asked “You really want to know what my dream wedding is?”

Harry nodded vigorously thinking of all the adjustments he would have to make in the next hour.

“It's you.”

After a long pause, Harry whispered, “Sorry, but I think I heard you wrong.”

Hermione shrugged, “I never really thought about marriage, much less plan my wedding day. I know about the plans that other girls made when I was young, bloody hell I was always the bridesmaid or the one who carried the train for the others, but I was never the bride.” She chuckled cynically as she linked her fingers with Harry's, then stared into his eyes “But after our kiss in front of the campfire, I allowed myself to dream of being the bride—your bride. See, I never cared where we had the wedding, who we invited and what we would be wearing, I knew that it would always be perfect as long as you were the person I was walking down the aisle to… so there you have it Harry, my dream wedding.”

Harry stared back speechless, searching those chocolate orbs of his wife trying to look for any doubt or any mirth but all he found was love. Leaning down he gathered Hermione in his arms, “I don't know what I ever did to deserve you.” Harry choked out as he felt his eyes moisten.

“Well, you did defeat evil incarnate—that has to count for something…” Hermione joked as she pulled back and wiped away her own tears, “Harry, it would be my honor to wear the same jewelry your mother wore on her wedding day.”

Harry smiled as he watched Hermione put on the earrings. She sat back before him lifting up her hair, he gently placed the necklace on and clasped it.

“There, I finally have my something old…” Hermione softly said as she caressed the pendant of the necklace.

“Don't tell me that you're following that muggle saying?!” Harry exclaimed, “First the superstition, now this? Okay, who are you and what have you done to my wife?”

Hermione playfully punched his shoulder, “What is wrong with following that? I thought it would be fun…”

“There's nothing wrong with that. If you find it fun then I'll go with it too.” Harry assured, “Well, let's have it then. What are your somethings new, borrowed, and blue?”

Hermione started to act giddy as she started to explain, “Obviously my wedding gown is my something new, then the headdress to hold the veil is my something borrowed—”

“So Madam Malkin lent you a headdress?”

“Actually, Professor McGonagall lent it to me,” Hermione stated with a questioning lilt.

Harry was silent for a moment, “McGonagall has a headdress and you've seen this?” Hermione nodded. “She really had a wedding headdress of her own?”

“I know! Unbelievable isn't it? It's more like a tiara!” Hermione answered disbelievingly, “At first I thought it was a joke that Dumbledore was pulling on me, but when McGonagall herself pulled out the tiara I was amazed at its beauty.”

“Did you ask if she used it?”

Rolling her eyes, “Of course not Harry! But, saying I was a little curious is an understatement. Here let me show it to you.” Hermione stood up then ran to her vanity and retrieved a round velvet container.

“Well I'll be—`' Harry exclaimed at the tiara Hermione showed him, “Hey, it matches your necklace and earrings.”

Hermione placed the tiara on her head then ran back to her vanity then squealed in glee at her reflection, “Oh love, you're right! It's perfect!”

“Okay, now what's your blue?” Harry asked as he watched his wife return the tiara to its container.

Hermione turned back to him and gave him a saucy smile, “I thought of wearing either blue knickers or a blue garter, which do you think would be better?”

“Hmm, definitely the garter—you know what I think about you wearing knickers…” Harry said huskily.

“You are such a flirt!” Hermione exclaimed as she swatted his arm.

“And you love me for it!” Harry retorted as he captured her hand and pulled her on top of him as he leaned back and stretched out on the lounge.

“Harry!” Hermione exclaimed, her eyes widening slightly as she felt her husband untie the sash of her silk robe and his hands on her bare skin, “Have you no shame? The wedding is about to begin in an hour…”

“Sorry love, shame and I do not mix…” Harry muttered as he licked her neck. Hearing her purr with pleasure, he continued to assault her neck then started to nip on her shoulders while kneading her breasts. When Hermione's breath hitched he flipped them so she was lying on the lounge as he kissed his way down her parting her robe further as he went, when he finally reached her wet center he lifted his head and took in her anticipating expression.

“Harry…we're going to get caught again…” she moaned as she looked up at her husband kneeling between her legs with a mischievous smirk, “I don't think—ungh!” she wasn't able to finish her sentence when Harry plunged two fingers into her hot core, thrusting it in and out teasingly. Hermione bucked her hips in rhythm with her husband's hand movements and when he bent and started to make circular movements with his tongue on her clit she began screaming his name.

“You don't think what Mione?” raising his head Harry lazily asked as he watched his wife wither in pleasure, increasing the bulge in his pants.

Hermione could only moan when Harry whispered “Finish your sentence love.”

“Harry…I…I don't think it's a good idea….” She breathlessly continued.

“What's not a good idea?” Harry suddenly stopped his ministrations and purposely distanced himself from her.

This caused Hermione to snap her eyes wide open looking at him with incredulity, “Why'd you stop?!” she demanded.

Shrugging Harry looked down at her not breaking eye contact he brought his fingers up to his lips and licked off her juices. Seeing her eyes darken with fiery passion he answered nonchalantly, “Well, I assumed you didn't think it was a good idea to continue…”

“Bloody hell!” Hermione growled as she launched herself off and jumped him causing him to fall back as she straddled him.

“My, are we overly eager…” Harry joked.

“Oh sod it, Harry James!” Hermione hissed as she ripped off his shirt.

“Hey! Don't you two name me Hermione Jane!” Harry continued to tease, “Mione, that was a new shirt!”

“I'll buy another one! You are in for it now! You know very well what a grievous error it is to keep me hanging!” she snapped back as she pulled off her robe and flashed Harry a triumphant smile when she felt the bulge in his pants strain against her thigh.

“I'm shaking in my pants!” Harry continued to mock but his eyes were burning with lust as his gaze ran down her body.

Hermione leaned down, bracing both hands above his shoulders and grazed her naked breast over his bare chest causing Harry to hiss and buck up to her. Smiling down at her husband she rocked against his shaft still encased in his pants. “There's something definitely happening in your pants Harry, but shaking is not it…” she said rather saucily.

“Mione…” Harry uttered, “Gods Mione…please…” he begged when Hermione started to lick his nipple.

“Please what Potter?” she asked as she sat up and straddled his abdomen knowing fully well that Harry could feel the heat emanating from her crotch.

“Fine! You win!” Harry choked as he looked up at a smug Hermione, “Please…shag me senseless!”

“Thought you'd never ask…” Hermione replied as she moved and worked on opening his jeans then when his shaft was free she held it and slowly slid on it as they both sighed at his entrance.

Hermione then started to move up and down, looking down at her husband who was watching her with dark green orbs and a small smirk on his lips, only sitting up to suck on her breast as she whimpered when Harry's roving hand found what it was looking for when it snuck between them and his thumb started rubbing slow circles on her nub of nerves…

“Merlin….Oh….Harry…yes!” Hermione stuttered as the tension was starting to build up as she pushed herself down on his shaft, meeting his powerful thrusts, “Faster…harder…I need all of you…please Harry.”

“You already have all of me Mione.” was all he answered and in an agile move he flipped her over to her back. He threw Hermione's legs over his shoulders as he pumped harder and faster. Harry started to feel her walls tighten, he then lifted her hips that allowed him a much deeper penetration. He knew that he hit that small hidden spot in her when she screamed his name, which drove him into a frenzy that he kept on pumping harder. When both thought that they had reached heaven, Harry stroked that spot as he drove into Hermione one last time causing her to tightly clench her slick hot walls around Harry's cock, both soaring much higher than they had expected as they stiffened and called out each other's name. After what felt like an eternity of exquisite pleasure Harry collapsed on Hermione and rolled over so she was on top of him as they tried to catch their breath and basked in the afterglow.

“Ha…Har…Harry… are you still alive?” Hermione breathlessly asked.

“No…love…just died and gone to heaven…I've got an angel in my arms…” Harry panted.

Hermione smiled despite herself, lifting her head she kissed his chin, “Now that Mr. Potter was spectacular…”

Harry smiled arrogantly and looked down at her, “You're not so bad yourself, Mrs. Potter.”

*****

“Swear to Merlin—can't believe you still shagged her, with only an hour before the ceremony!” Ron uttered shaking his head.

Harry was adjusting the tie of his dress robe and tried to tame his raven hair into a much more presentable state, then glared at his reflection when the mirror haughtily said, “Give it a rest boy—it's a losing battle anyway…She's already married to you, so you know it wasn't your hair she fell in love with…”

“Tell me Ron, how did you come up with the idea that I shagged Mione an hour before the ceremony…” turning to face his best mate, now his best man, “That is assuming you are referring to Hermione.”

“Sod it—you shagged her when you gave the Potter jewels to her.” Ron accused.

“Ronniekins, I believe our beloved Hermione already has her fill of Potter's family jewels—if you comprehend,” Fred joked.

“Then again dear brother, do not over estimate the dung brain of our dear Won-Won…” George added as he slapped Fred at the back, both looking at their youngest brother.

“What are you two doing here?” Ron snarled at the entrance of his twin brothers.

“Just wanted to give our best wishes to the groom…”

“What are you both going on about?” Ron asked suspiciously.

“Honestly Ronniekins, Loony must be rubbing off on you, starting to be too paranoid.” Fred answered.

“Actually we came to offer Harry an opportunity to escape…” George chimed in looking at Harry.

Harry smiled and shook his head, “Sorry boys—but I'm in this with Mione for the long haul…”

“Well don't say we didn't offer, but just in case…” George said with a wink as he handed Harry a small foiled package at which Harry grinned knowingly, “This could serve as a portkey to whisk you away to the basement of our shop, there you can call the knight's bus and run like hell!”

“Although, we just found out that this portkey is some sort of muggle contraceptive, a double purpose if I do say so myself.” Fred added.

“Yeah, it's a condom.” Harry replied.

“A comdung?” Ron asked looking down at the object in Harry's hand.

“C-O-N-D-O-M Ron, it's the equivalent of a contraceptive charm to muggles.” Harry explained.

“Really?” George asked with raised eyebrows, “How does it work? Do muggles wave it about?”

“Well, they can wave it about but it won't help them any,” Harry sniggered, “Men wear it.”

“Men put that thing on their pecker?!” Fred exclaimed to which Harry nodded.

“I don't know about muggles, but that won't even cover half of the tip on mine.” Ron commented.

“That so Won-Won? Thought that it'll be too much for you.” George joked.

“No, the condom is inside the package.” Harry patiently clarified, “It looks like an elongated balloon which you roll down on one's pecker then it catches the cum.” Looking up he saw three expressions of horrified astonishment, “There are sizes you know.”

“That just doesn't feel…right.” Fred said.

“According to others it's like wearing a raincoat in the shower.” Harry concluded.

“And what's a raincoat?” George inquired.

“Uh, it's like a plastic cloak muggles use when it rains to keep them dry.” Harry explained.

“Sorry can't picture it...” Ron said shaking his head.

“Here let me show you,” Harry said ripping the foil.

“NO!” Fred and George yelled simultaneously.

Before anyone realized what had happened, Harry disappeared.

“Bugger that…” George mumbled.

“What the bloody hell just happened?!” Ron exclaimed, still staring at the spot where the groom vanished from.

“Harry activated it,” Fred said as he pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think of the next move.

“Activate what?!” Ron shrilled noticing that his voice was going higher.

“The portkey!” George snapped back pacing about, “We named it `rip and run' for a reason!”

Ron smacked his head in full panic, “What the fuck are you going to do? I knew that you both had something up your sleeves the moment you entered! You both are so dead!”

“How would we know that Harry would have opened it?!” Fred replied.

“And what do you mean that it's just Fred and I in trouble, you're in it deep too!” George added.

“What?! I didn't offer Harry a portkey!”

“Yes little brother, you didn't. May I remind you that had it not been for that unimaginative mind of yours then Harry would not have the need to open it to show you!” Fred snapped, “You're in it along with us…unless we think of a way to get Harry back here in a few…”

Ron started to pace running his hands through his hair, “We're so dead! Mum will hex us beyond recognition…” he suddenly stopped and said with a horrified expression, “Gods! Hermione will abso-fucking-loutely kill us!”

“Panicking only makes things worst….” George stated, unwilling to acknowledge the truth behind Ron's statement. “Harry's a smart wizard, powerful even—he'll find a way to get back here.”

“Where did the portkey take him?” Ron asked.

“Had you not been listening?! To the basement of our shop!” Fred retorted.

Suddenly the door slammed open, leaving a furious Harry standing before them, a bit sooty, but present all the same.

Before Harry could say anything George brightened, “Well as educational as this encounter has been, we must thank you for giving our product a test run, eh. But if you're truly sure you're not going to use it—magic or muggle method then…”

“Best be on our way…we would appreciate it if what had just occurred was not mentioned to the bride, for we do fear her more than He-Who-Is-Now-Pushing-Daisies…” Fred continued with a conspiratorial whisper. With that, Fred and George exited the chamber…but not before waving their wand and casting a quick scourgifying charm on Harry to clean him up. It was obvious that he had flooed back from their shop to Hogwarts, then clapping Harry on the back and shaking his hand in a sign of approval, they tumbled out before Harry could hex them.

“Glad their gone…”Ron said with a sigh of relief, “Sorry about that…”

“Remind me to enlighten Mione of this encounter with your brothers after the ceremony.” Harry stated irritably as he peeked out the crack from the other door of his antechamber to see the multitude of guests. He was amazed at the turn out for the ceremony, especially considering the short notice. He began to feel nervous and felt the collar of his dress robes were choking him, his anger completely dissolved.

“So admit it Harry—you shagged Hermione when you gave her the jewelry didn't you?” Ron asked as he nudged him trying to change the topic, he knew that if Harry's mind was on Hermione then he'd be in a good mood.

After a brief pause Harry asked, “What makes you so sure Ron?”

“Easy—you smell like her!” Ron stated glad that Harry wasn't blaming him of the little accident and was starting to become his old self, “As a matter of fact, before you went off to find her, you smelled just like all us Gryffindor boys…”

“Now that's disgusting…”Harry joked.

Ron continued as if Harry hadn't said anything, “—but now you smell like Hermione—like oranges, parchment and Honeydukes!”

“Careful Ronald—if I didn't know better, I'd think you're planning to steal my wife.” Harry said wagging a finger at his best man.

“Oh please, we all know who did the stealing from whom…” Ron quipped.

“Don't tell me we're starting that again…” Harry muttered.

“Nah—just felt fun pulling your chain…”Ron answered.

After a comfortable silence Ron didn't relent, “So you shagged her, right?”

Harry rolled his eyes, “Drop it Ron.”

“I knew it!” Ron exclaimed eyeing the reaction of Harry, when he didn't catch the guilty expression cross the face of the groom he asked again, “You did, didn't you?”

Harry was spared from a reply when Draco entered the chambers and muttered, “How Red ever talked you into this Potter, I'll never know!” as he adjusted his robes.

Harry merely shrugged, “Ginny can get very persuasive when she has her mind set on something.”

Draco's eyes widened, “Persuasive? Um…yes she can be convincing…but um…her technique can—I mean, she didn't use…you're married! So I'm sure she didn't…”

Harry chuckled as he watched his former archenemy sputter about his dirty assumptions. “Sod it, Malfoy. Yes I'm familiar with the technique you're rambling on about, she was my former girlfriend.” Draco just stared blankly at him, “But no, she didn't use that method of persuasion, she simply asked me, and being that she did have a good point on why you should be her partner instead of Dean—well, we agreed to it.”

“That and Hermione twisting his arm, I'll say.” Ron added.

“Mione did not have to twist my arm!” Harry refuted, “But I of course had to tell her…”

“Tell?” Draco asked, exchanging a knowing look with Ron.

“Yes, tell her.” Harry seeing the skeptic looks trained at him by the two relented, “Fine I asked her, it is her entourage right? And my role is just to show up all spiffy and say my lines properly.”

Ron and Draco looked again at each other and asked, “You asked Hermione if Ferret can be Ginny's partner?”

Blushing Harry replied, “Okay fine, she told me…”

The two coughed which sounded evidently like, “whipped”

“See Harry, admitting the truth that you're officially henpecked isn't as painful as having to administer veritaserum to you.” Ron mocked.

Harry was about to make a comment when Remus entered the antechamber with Dumbledore, who called the attention of Ron who was to hand over the rings.

Draco taking advantage of the distraction went up to Harry, looking over his shoulder to see that no one else was listening muttered rapidly, “Look Potter, I do appreciate you having me be a part of this, even if it's merely because of Ginny. Considering all the shite I put you and mudbl…I mean Grang—er, uh, Hermione through. I know it takes a better man to take the high road and you took that road before I could.” Draco continued, seeing the confused look on Harry's face, “What I'm trying to say is, consider this an apology for the past—it may be too late or too little for it but it seems that my future is entrenched with Red and that would involve a lot of time with the Potters since she is very close with you and your wife…” seeing the still unbelieving expression Harry was giving him Draco extended his hand. “Look, I just want to make it less painful for the two of us when the missus starts having couples night or exchanging recipes, you can take it or leave it—I'd understand if you reject it, but believe me, this will be the first and last time I'll be offering this.”

Harry looked down at the hand extended and grasped it with a smile, “I've always believed in forgiving my enemies knowing that it'll annoy them that much more…so consider it absolved Malfoy. Although I think it would be prudent if you start calling me Harry.”

The two immediately released the handshake and Draco, still looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was looking, said, “Nah, wouldn't want the rest of the world to think I became a nice guy.” After a moment he added, “Plus we could have some fun and pick on Weaselbee—it's so easy to get a rise from that prat.”

Harry nodded with a smirk, still in disbelief at what just occurred. Draco added with a whisper, “Just wanted to let you know, I do respect Herms and I do regret calling her that foul name.”

Harry looked like he was going to have a heart attack as Draco smirked and turned to walk away. He only got a step before he twisted back and growled, “Mention this to anyone and I swear by Merlin that I'll deny it ever happened! I may even have to obliviate myself.”

“Who would believe me?” Harry retorted as he came out of his stupor,“Oi! Mione hates it when she's called Herms.”

He turned his head, the Malfoy arrogance back in place and replied with a sneer, “I know…”

*****

Harry stared at the doors of the Great Hall, standing with him were Ron and Remus. At the center of the stage in front of them were Dumbledore and Minister Bones. Harry swallowed hard as he looked out at the large crowd of friends, schoolmates, faculty members and a few reporters; he tried to take a few deep breaths to steady his nerves.

“You all right there mate?” Ron whispered into his ear.

Harry just nodded.

“Harry it's okay to feel ill,” Remus whispered as he inched closer, “You're father actually threw up all over the vicar's shoes before Lily walked down the aisle.” Harry chose to ignore Remus' remark as he felt his stomach flip slightly at the mental image. Minister Bones, having overheard them, took a step back as a precaution.

“Relax Harry, you have done this before.” Dumbledore said in hushed tones as he placed a calming hand on Harry's shoulder.

“Yes, but there weren't as many people then…”Harry hissed as he tried to adjust his collar.

“Getting cold feet Harry?” Ron asked.

“C'mon Harry, no need to become nervous,” Remus reassured, “It's not like Hermione won't show up you know!”

“She won't show up?” Harry squeaked out.

“Mr. Potter, I thoroughly doubt that Mrs. Potter will not show up considering that you still are legally married,” Amelia Bones added, “We are merely going through the motions of a ceremony, there won't even be a binding ceremony since we already performed that six months ago.”

Harry remained silent as he kept his eyes on the closed doors of the Great Hall then he blinked because of the flashing lights, he turned his gaze to the Creevey brothers who they chose to take the only and official pictures of this ceremony.

Ron stepped before Harry, “C'mon you guys, no need to make Harry blind!”

“Sorry.” Dennis uttered as Colin nodded and after a few more shots of the groom with his best men they made their way to the other end of the Great Hall taking pictures of guests along the way.

Before Harry could thank Ron, Bach's Air on a G string filled the Great Hall, and the doors swung open. Pavarti and Seamus walked down first, they were followed by Lavender and Neville, then Ginny on the arm of Draco. Tonks entered dropping puffapods which immediately blossomed into a variety of flowers as she walked down the aisle, beside her was Luna who kept waving her wand over the blooming flowers, as they approached the front Tonks gave Harry a reassuring smile and blew Remus a kiss while Luna tucked her wand behind her ear and waved to Ron.

Suddenly the doors of the Great Hall slammed closed, Harry turned to Ron and Remus with a look of shock. Thinking that Minister Bones had been wrong he was sure that Hermione had come to her senses and left him, but before he could voice out his fears the music changed to Pachelbel's Canon in D and the doors opened again. This time Harry could see a thin gold curtain with burgundy trimmings, slowly the curtains lifted as the audience stood up in reverence then, he finally saw her. Hermione's head was bowed as she stepped into the Great Hall, gasps were heard all around. If Harry had thought her beautiful beyond all belief before, he and everyone assembled had finally seen perfection as she walked down the aisle in an ivory gown with a golden sheen which exposed her shoulders and hugged her body, it bloomed to a full skirt below her waist. Hermione decided to put her hair up and it brought emphasis to the Potter heirlooms, McGonagall's tiara held in place a veil so sheer and delicate that it looked like it was made of snowflakes. But what made the bride a picture of perfection was Hermione herself. She exuded love, confidence, and happiness that no one had ever seen. She seemed to glow more brightly when she gazed at him, and Harry's heart filled with pride as he saw the many envious looks he got from the men present.

Hermione took calculating steps, only when she reached the middle did she raise her head and cocoa brown eyes met emerald green. Everything faded for them, only the other existed. When Hermione reached the front Harry went down and met her half way and took her hand and together they stood before Dumbledore and Minister Bones.

Dumbledore pointed his wand to the side of his neck and his voice then boomed out, “Welcome, I am sure that you all have heard, read or even talked about the late breaking news of the wedding of Harry Potter and the former Hermione Granger that occurred six months ago. You may also question what we are all doing here on such a clear warm summer's eve? The answer to that is simple—it's because of a notorious ante which was lost on all accounts and what better use to put it to but to provide Mr. and Mrs. Potter with a wedding befitting the Man who Saved and the Smartest Witch of Our Age! We must of course acknowledge the effort of Mrs. Molly Weasley and our very own Professor McGonagall, who did a splendid job in organizing this on such short notice.” To which the reception applauded and the Potters turned towards the two ladies and mouthed their thank yous.

Dumbledore paused turning to the woman beside him, “Minister Bones and I will be officiating this ceremony. As you've all found out, our beloved Minister of Magic was the one who officiated their wedding before, so instead of an exchange of vows and the binding ceremony which had occurred we will hear an expression of love by each to their significant other. After this Minister Bones will continue with a renewal of vows, then we'll take it from there where this ceremony will lead us. All of you are probably now quite anxious as to get this ceremony started, I wager…” he then chuckled, “Wrong choice of words, as wagers are the reason we are assembled here now! So without further ado,” turning to the couple and with a twinkle in his eyes he continued, “Hermione, you're expression of love for Harry if you please?”

Hermione turned to Tonks and handed her the bouquet then taking a deep breath. She held Harry's hands and lifted her head to gaze into his eyes, “A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart, well I must say that you are a very selfish person Harry James Potter, for not only have you touched my heart but you took possession of it!”

“If being selfish means that I can keep your heart then by all means let it be declared in the Daily Prophet, the Quibbler and Witch Weekly that Harry Potter is the most selfish person on the face of this earth!” Harry quickly replied as he dipped his head and hungrily kissed her, to which everyone cheered.

Hermione tenderly smiled at him after their kiss and continued, “Oh Harry where do I begin? There are a million reasons I love you.” She sniffed as her eyes watered, “I love it when you run your fingers over my lips after we kiss, I love the way you make me laugh when I'm tense. I love it when you smile every time I look into your eyes, the way you pray our love would never die every night before we go to sleep. I love it when you simply hold me like some priceless artifact,” to which Harry immediately answered, “Because you are Mione…”

Hermione shivered at his reply, “I love it when you make statements like those that makes me feel precious!” seeing that Harry was about to react, she placed a finger on his lips to hush him. “Harry, you're everyone's hero. You saved the world from a dark fate. To other's you're the legendary `Boy who Lived'. To some you're their best mate, their adopted son, their godson by default, or their quidditch star. Despite all those persona, to me you're still my Harry. You're vulnerable, caring, and human,” Hermione then moved her hand to his cheek. “In front of our loved ones and friends as witnesses, I thank the divine providence for having created you. I thank your parents for the sacrifice that they made for you, and I thank you for being you and for letting me be me. I know that I'm not the most pleasing person to be with especially when it comes to school work,” she paused as Ron took advantage and retorted, “I can attest to that…” and those in the Great Hall laughed knowingly.

After the laughter died down, Hermione spoke tenderly, “Harry, when you proposed you were honest enough to say that one or both of us may want out of this—but I can assure you it will be a cold day in hell when I stop loving you and I will spend each and every day reminding you of that till we move on to our next great adventure.”

One can hear sniffs as those touched by Hermione's words tried to regain composure, Dumbledore turned to the groom, “Harry, your expression of love for Hermione now.”

Harry, still not breaking his gaze with his wife started “I always considered my home to be Hogwarts, this was where I met the people who molded me to the person who I am now. So in theory if it wasn't for a missing toad and a wayward troll then I wouldn't be the man that I am now. But they always say that home is where the heart is,” Harry paused as he raised Hermione's hands and place them on his chest, “Do you feel that Mione? It beats because of you, if you claim that I took possession of your heart, well Love, you've owned mine since I laid my eyes on you. Hence the reason why my home is now you, and will always be you—you are my haven, my life, my anchor in this crazy life. I offer you my soul though battered and bruised, I know that it will never be whole without its mate which is you. My Mione,” Harry paused as he took a deep breath and cupped his wife's face, “To the world you may be but one person, but to me you are my world. You make me feel invincible. You're my salvation from my demons within. You're my escape from a definite end. You're the reason I'm still alive, and I thank you for saving my life…” Hermione gasped as she started to cry openly, Harry wiped away her tears shedding a few of his own he finished, “I love you Hermione Jane Potter, not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.”

Hermione pulled Harry toward her but before they could kiss Minister Bones cleared her throat, “I believe that we are not at that part of the ceremony…” to which the reception chuckled as some of them were bawling at Harry's words and the couple blushed.

“Now let's continue,” Amelia Bones stated as she turned to Hermione, “Do you Hermione Jane Potter maintain your vow to remain faithful, obedient,” A smuttering of coughs caused the Minister to pause as those who knew the bride reacted, “and stay by Harry James Potter's side in good and bad times till the end of your days?”

“I do”

“Do you Harry James Potter maintain your vow to remain faithful, supportive,” again Minister Bones had to pause as the male population whispered, “whipped more like it” then continued with a smirk, “and stay by Hermione Jane Potter's side in good and bad times till the end of your days?”

“I do” was all Harry said as he blushed and returned the minister's knowing smile.

Dumbledore then stepped up and asked for the rings. “Hermione place Harry's ring on…good, now Harry place Hermione's ring on. Well done, now do you promise to wear those rings as a sign of fidelity and love. That like a circle continuous with no ending and beginning?” then added as an afterthought, “Oh, do you promise not to put any of us under a Fidelius charm nor Obliviate those present at this ceremony?”

“We do.” They replied with sheepish grins.

Dumbledore paused, “Now touch the tips of each others wand with the other.” To which the couple looked at him with bewilderment but still complied. “I know that Amelia did this binding with you six months ago, but…humor me.”

“Harry, Hermione utter this phrase after me together 'viscus, animus corpus mentis ego necto ut mei fidelis socius'” Dumbledore requested.

Harry and Hermione did repeat the phrase as their wands tips were touching and when they were done a golden glow emanated from their wands engulfing the pair.

“That happened when I did that too,” Amelia whispered to Dumbledore with amusement.

“Yes, well we should be expecting great things from them…” Dumbledore replied.

“Without further ado, may I now present Harry James and Hermione Jane Potter—again.” Minister Bones declared.

Dumbledore turned to the couple, and facing Hermione “Now for the most anticipated moment…you may now kiss your groom!”

As the crowd cheered Harry dipped Hermione, “I love you, Hermione.” And before Harry's lips touched hers, Hermione replied, “I love you back, Harry.”

*****

“Fifty galleons she'd be knocked up in a month…” Remus whispered to Dumbledore as he placed an arm around the waist of Tonks beside him.

With a knowing smile and eyes twinkling, “Fifty galleons Harry will have achieved that task tonight…”

McGonagall clucked her tongue at the two catching the whispered conversation, “Albus!” she admonished, “Have you two not learned your lesson? Honestly, sometimes I think you're starting to lose your marbles!”

“Minerva, it's a simple wager between friends. I doubt it will accomplish the same effect we had as the first Potter pool!” Dumbledore said as the faculty watched the bride and groom twice bound now, dancing in the middle the floor erected in the quidditch pitch, surrounded by their friends under the starry sky.

“Did I hear that there is another wager?” Flitwick clapping his hands and exclaimed with glee, “I want to be a part of this pool—what are we gambling on?”

Lupin looked down at the professor of charms and gave him a Cheshire smile wiggling his eyebrows at McGonagall who rolled her eyes in disgust.

“When specifically Harry's sprog is to be conceived!” Tonks declared.

“OH! Fifty galleons two weeks from tonight!” Flitwick hastily replied as he handed Tonks the amount.

“Well Severus, care to join the pool?” Lupin prodded as he took out a piece of parchment and started to list the dates and amount given.

Snape let out a very rude snort, “Very well, ten galleons on Potter's spawn being formed a year from tonight!”

“A year?!” Flitwick cried out, “Severus, I believe that Mrs. Potter is not equipped with a chastity belt and I am hoping that Mr. Potter has some mighty fine swimmers…to have wagered on a date a year from now is plain ridiculous!”

“Ten? My we're a big spender tonight!” Lupin sarcastically replied but wrote down the bet all the same.

“Minerva, it wouldn't be as exciting without you dipping your feet in the pool…” Dumbledore said with a raised eyebrow.

McGonagall held out, “You're all just asking for trouble!”

“What trouble is who asking for?” Arthur asked, as he and Molly joined them.

“These blokes are betting on when specifically, mind you, Mrs. Potter will be conceiving…” McGonagall burred.

“That is a very difficult ante—but so tempting,” Arthur said as he pulled out a leather pouch.

“ARTHUR WEASLEY! Have you no shame? This should be something that must remain sacred between a man and his wife!” Molly screeched, at the same swatting her husband's hand.

Arthur recoiled and taking the furious stance of his wife, he sighed. Looking at Lupin with mischievous eyes, Arthur said, “I'm not betting…although if I was, I would take my chance on three months from tonight,” not taking his eyes off Lupin who suddenly smiled in understanding, “AND I would back up my hunch with fifty galleons…But that is a mere hypothesis, not like I was to seriously lay a wager on something quite personal…”he continued turning with a smile to his wife.

Molly narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but everyone remained stock still looking everywhere but at her. When she saw Arthur place his leather pouch back in his pocket, she relaxed.

“Shall we dance my dear?” Arthur asked.

Molly nodded and blushed, as she turned toward the dance floor with the right hand of her husband at the small of her back—but Arthur was holding a smaller pouch in the palm of his left hand behind him, and she failed to spot a softly whispered “accio fifty galleons” coming from the headmaster of Hogwarts as the pouch flew into his hand and was immediately handed over to the DADA professor.

*****

“Eh, Weasel!” Draco hissed.

Ron raised his head from the top of his girlfriend's ash blond head, “What do you want Ferret?” he hissed back as the couple swaying beside them came in closer.

“Didn't you hear? They're at it again!” Draco whispered back as Ginny looked at her brother with a smile.

Ron instinctively turned his head towards the general direction of where his two hitched best friends were, seeing that there was only mild action going on between them as they exchanged spit he turned his attention to the dance partner of his sister, “Do you take offense in a little snogging action between Harry and Hermione, Ferret? I'd have thought that you would have had enough of the free show we had last night…”

“Get your head out of the gutter Ron!” Ginny scolded as Draco gave him a smug grin.

“What are you two going on about Gin?”

“He meant that the teachers are starting another pool!”

“No way! On what?”

“…on when the conception of `Potter Junior' will be!”

Ron let out a low whistle, “Now we can't let them have all the fun, can we?”

Ginny and Draco gave him an evil smile as they nodded in agreement.

Fred and Angelina danced their way toward the small group forming, Fred asked “What's the problem here? Seems as if the younger Weasley's have missed the fact that in order to keep traffic flowing on the dance floor, one must actually dance…”

“Shut it Gred!” Ron snapped.

“We're starting another pool!” Ginny hissed to her much older brother, as his twin with Katie moved closer.

“Well, I want a part of this venture!” Fred replied, unconsciously licking his lips.

“So what's the bet?” Angelina asked.

Fred answered immediately, “It has to be when Hermione will pop a Potter!”

“No! It's the conception day, not the birth! Make's it more interesting!” Ron corrected.

“You have a twisted mind, little brother—dirty and green, but very twisted!” George stated.

Fred pretended to wipe away false tears from the corner of his eyes as both twins looked at their younger siblings, “Makes me proud—truly proud…” he sniffed.

“Oi! It wasn't my idea! It was the professors!” Ron exclaimed.

“Sure Ron…whatever.”

“Oh shut up!”

“So will we start?” Ginny stated.

“Twenty on tonight!” Fred answered.

“Thirty on a week from today!” Katie immediately seconded.

Ron was discreetly collecting money as his sister was writing down the dates and Luna whistled “Weasley Is Our King” all the while.

Hermione rested her head on her husband's shoulder, after kissing the side of his neck and eliciting a soft groan from him she whispered, “They're at it again…”

Harry turned his head toward the area where his red haired best mate would be thinking that he'd want to see Ron and Luna in a compromising position instead of the other way around for a change. “Love, sorry to tell you this but the only action Ron's getting is having Luna serenade him with his theme song…”

“Hmmm…” she continued to breathe in the scent of her husband, taking a nip at his pulse point she said, “Look very closely…”

Harry tried to focus at the mundane scene of watching his friends dance as Hermione's hands were roaming freely under his dress robes and he was about to give up and just ravish Hermione right there. But propriety won the battle, so he started to think of their honeymoon. He had planned it since their wedding at the Ministry and he was to surprise Hermione by traveling the world after graduation—whether or not Voldemort was still alive. All the needed portkeys were hidden away—and to be on the safe side he placed a confundus charm on them, so whenever Hermione would approach where it was hidden, she'd suddenly have an urge to go to the library for some unfinished research. But that honeymoon would have to wait for a few days as graduation is to take place, not to mention the awarding of the Order of Merlin to those who had fought valiantly in the war against Voldemort. Suddenly his seeker's instinct kicked in while his mind was wandering, as he caught the very subtle exchange of money between a Hufflepuff couple and Ron as Ginny seemed to be scribbling something on Malfoy's chest.

A small smirk appeared, “What do you think they're up to?”

Hermione stopped necking her husband and rested her head on his chest as she replied, “Easy—we have just witnessed the beginning of the faculty and student's pool again…”

“Merlin! Don't these people every give up?” Harry groaned as he looked at where their professors were situated and just saw Minister Bones give a small pouch to Tonks as Lupin immediately wrote something on parchment. “So what do you think their betting on?”

Hermione softly smiled and confidently replied, “Either when we'll be having our first child or when that child was created…”

His hand instinctively found its way to her stomach and as he pressed gently on it as Hermione placed her hand over his. Harry could not wipe the smile off his face as he thought of the possibilities. He saw Hermione's eyes darken.

“Let's get out of here…” she huskily said, “There are a bunch of lingerie that I need your expert opinion on…”

Harry felt his body react immediately—the best thing he loved about Hermione's lingerie was that she was never wearing it for very long! With a leering smile he took her hand and gently tugged her towards the exit of the pitch. As they bid their farewell amid lewd remarks and flashes from the Creevey brothers' cameras, Hermione smiled at Harry and let go of his hand as she made a straight line towards the Weasley twins. Harry hung back as he watched Fred and George literally cower away from her as she approached, but after they exchanged some words, smiles broke out on the twins faces and Harry heard them utter, “All in good fun Hermione!” to which he saw his wife nod and kiss their cheeks. But as she turned she waved her hand and the twins transfigured to large yellow chickens as the crowd started to roar in laughter, to which Katie and Angelina exclaimed, “Serves you gits right!” not even attempting to return their dates to their original states.

“Wandless magic does have its uses.” Hermione stated as she got back to Harry's side. As they made their way out, Hermione's friends kissed her on the cheek or gave her hugs as she passed by and wished her the best, while Harry's friends gave him sly tips for his wedding night as those who placed a bet on tonight prayed that they would win.

When they exited the pitch amid applause, “Wait Harry, this isn't right—I think we should tell them…” Hermione said quietly.

Harry looked back at their guests who were now openly crowding around Ron and Remus, some gazing at a calendar and others handing out money to the two, oblivious that the couple was still close enough to see what was going on.

Shaking his head, Harry whispered, “I reckon we'll be needing a `surprise' christening in eight and a half months anyway…” and with a passionate kiss and his hand gently covering his wife's abdomen, he disapparated with Hermione in his arms.

A/N

Whew…

Nope no sequels on the christening…

Now I got a dilemma, ya see there's a friend of mine who made these manips and stuff that was inspired by this plot—don't know how to put a link on this story to those pictures.

I just posted the pictures on my LiveJournal user name: Horcrux_Seeker…so just check it out.

I will NOT take credit for those pictures—it was done by TA-HERO, she put a lot of time into it and it's her first time to do stuff like that…She doesn't have an LJ account she actually didn't want anyone to see it but I said that I just had to share it with you guys so just look at it when you have the time and leave some comments if you can!

Till the next…oh and believe me there IS a next…in some alternate universe far far away… (Hint)

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