So Complicated

So Complicated: Song fic to ‘So Complicated’ by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. Every verse is used, but no chorus.

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I'm so scared that
The way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room
I wanna find a hiding place

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Hermione just couldn’t stand it. What right did he have to sit there, looking innocent and adorable at the same time. Wasn’t there some law that stated that you weren’t allowed to drive your best friend insane with one smile?

There should be, she thought, grumbling to herself.

Walking into the Gryffyndor Common room was never something Hermione considered difficult, that is until Harry sat down. He held a book, unopened in his lap while he stared into the fire. Her stomach did Olympic gymnastics at the sight of him running a hand through his hair. He sighed and opened up his book (Standard Book of Spells, Grade 7) and began to slowly flip through it. She sat down slowly at the table across the room, hoping that he wouldn’t notice her thumping heart.

Unfortunately, he did.

He turned towards her and smiled. Oh God.

“Hey Hermione, what are you doing over there?” Without thinking she quickly said,

“Studying.” He looked at her oddly before answering,

“Without any books?” She was frustrated with him. Why did he have to stare at her with his wide eyes? Why did he have to lean against the couch just so, so his shirt was pulled taut across his chest? Why did the easy grin across his face make her so upset?

“Honestly Harry,” she said snappishly, “I’m just trying to remember some charms.” He turned away slowly, the smile dropping off his face. Never mind the fact that she didn’t even have her wand with her. Guilt assaulted her and before she knew it she had walked over and sunk down next to him on the couch.

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We used to laugh
We used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and
A touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued

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Her plan not to touch him was overruled when she wrapped her arms around him in a big hug.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled into his shirt. He turned towards her and hugged her back. The smell of him was overpowering and she wanted to drown in his arms. All too soon he pulled away with the big goofy grin back on his face.

“Well, if you’re almost done with charms, you can help me with this.” He said, plopping the book down on her lap. Opening it slowly she saw in his familiar scrawl, Harry James Potter, inside the cover. She smiled in spite of herself and answered,

“Ok. But I’m not writing your essay for you.”

“Great!” He said grinning and kissed her cheek. “You’re the best Hermione!” He ran off to his room to find some parchment while she swooned from his affection.

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It's such a contradiction
Do I lie or tell the truth?
Is it fact or fiction
The way I feel for you?

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He eventually came clomping back down with several pieces of parchment and quill she had given him last Christmas. She smiled and opened to the correct page.

“Now see this…” she started. He leaned in and she got a whiff of his hair. Her knees trembled and she was very glad she was sitting down. As she explained it to him, she had to keep reminding herself not to stutter. This was Harry she was talking about, her best friend since Year One. Then why couldn’t she stop herself from touching his hand to reiterate a point, or giving him a wide smile when he finally understood.

She wanted to tell him, she really did. But she feared he would say no. What would she do if she lost him? Her emotions were in such a twist that she didn’t even notice when Harry leaned back on the couch and gave another sigh. She longed to lean up against him and fall asleep right there with him but stopped herself in time.

What am I thinking? She thought softly. She wanted him, but she wanted his friendship. Wasn’t it possible to have both?

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Just when I think
I'm under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always
On your lips

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“Ron! Ron! Wait up!” Hermione was racing from the Common room. She had told Harry that she had forgotten something and would be back later. Just at that moment Ron chose to walk by.

“Hey Hermione. What’s up?”

“I have to tell you something!” She bit her lip. There was no turning back now.

“I’m falling in love with Harry.” He stood there and to her amazement didn’t look the least bit surprised. “Well?” she asked impatiently.

He laughed, “I know that!” She stood, shell-shocked.

“You do?” He grinned wider and replied,

“Yeah, you two are so obvious.” Her breath caught in her throat,

“What do you mean, us two?”

“What do I mean? I mean it’s so obvious you both like each other! You talk about one another constantly. It’s always ‘Harry this’ or ‘Hermione that’.” Hermione felt as if her heart had stopped in place.

“He talks about me?” Her voice was almost a whisper. Was it possible? Could he feel the same way? Ron laugh heartily again,

“Well duh! Listen, I’ll talk to you later. I promised the twins I’d test out their new Porky Petunias for them.” He paused for a moment, “Say, you wouldn’t want to sniff this flower…” She laughed, backing up.

“No way Ron, go find some other guinea pig.” She headed back to the Common room while Ron continued down the hallway muttering,

“Guinea pig?”

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They say I'm more
Than just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well I admit that
I've seen you watch me
From the corner of your eye

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She entered the Common room to find Harry, pouring over his book and attempting to scratch out his latest mistakes.

“Hey,” she said happily. He looked up and smiled at her.

“Would you help me with this?” He shoved his parchment to her and she began reading.

“Harry, Harry, Harry, this is in the wrong order! Here…” She began to fix the mistakes as Harry leaned back into the couch again. As she worked, it was silent except for the scratching of the quill against the thick backing. She chanced a look at Harry and noticed he was staring right at her! She felt a shiver travel down her back and quickly looked away. He did too and when she handed the paper back to him he had quite a fetching blush on his face.

“Thanks,” he mumbled and proceeded to start writing again. Her own face was slightly red as she sunk further into the couch and closed her eyes. Barely opening one, she watched him, lit from the side by the fire. His tongue stuck out to the side as he worked and his hair was astray from the many times he had run a hand through it in search of an answer. His brow furrowed and she quickly shut her eye as he turned towards her to get his book. His hand brushed her leg and she had to stifle a gasp. She wished he’d stop doing that, it was awfully hot in the Common room without his extra help.

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Oh it's so confusing
I wish you'd just confess
But think of what I'd be losing
If your answer wasn't yes

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Suddenly she heard the quill stop writing and she opened both eyes. Harry was staring directly at her.

“Hermione?” She sat up quickly and the world tilted for a moment.

“Yes?”

“I have something to tell you.” He was rolling the quill through his hands as he spoke, looking more nervous by the second.

‘What’s that?”

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I hate it 'cause
I've waited so long
For someone like you
Should I say it
Should I tell you
How I feel?
Oh I want you to know
But then again I don't

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“I um…that is to say…I..” She was leaning towards him now, close enough to reach out and cup his face in her hands. “Well I…I think I…” He was still finding the words to say when she stood up and glared at him. Her hands were on her hips and he looked up to see her eyes shining down at him.

“Harry Potter just say what you want to say.” He stood up and was so close that their hips brushed.

“I want to be with you.” He paused and she almost died of agony. “I love you.” Before he could begin stuttering again she threw her arms around him and kissed his lips. Never again would she say Harry Potter was stupid, maybe slow, but definitely not stupid.

His arms wound around her waist and she couldn’t help but feel elated when he lifted her up. Her legs tangled with his and she couldn’t stop her hands from running through his hair and across his jawline.

“I love you too.” She whispered back. He grinned and kissed her again. Hermione had never been happier in her life, finally things were beginning to make sense.

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It's so complicated

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