Rewriting History

Author’s Note: This was a SCUSA ship activity about a year ago. The challenge was to take a line from canon and turn it into a pumpkin pie moment. The line had to be clearly identified, as well as the additions you were making. These are my results. I had so much fun doing this, I was thinking about doing some for OotP. These have little basis in reality and don’t form any sort of coherent story at all. They’re just little bits of fluffy goodness. I hope you enjoy reading them!

PoA, US Paperback, ch. 9, pg. 171

"There!" she said, handing them back to Harry. "They'll repel water!"

Wood looked as though he could have kissed her.

But Harry was the one that did.

PoA, ch. 21, pg. 374

"Ready?" she said breathlessly.

"What are we doing?" Harry said, completely lost.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "If you have to ask, I must be doing it wrong." She grabbed the front of his robes, dragged him into a broom closet, and slammed the door behind her. Harry gave a little yelp as she pushed him suddenly and he fell down to the floor. He felt Hermione settle on top of his prone body and sucked in a breath when she leaned down and put her mouth by his ear.

"Now do you understand what we're doing?" she purred.

Harry understood what they were doing.

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 16, pg. 252

"I'm telling you, that's not a normal girl!" said Ron..."They don't make them like that at Hogwarts!"

"They make then okay at Hogwarts," said Harry, glancing over at Hermione. She caught his look and blushed, then composed herself enough to look severely at Harry.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to me as some object whose entire function in life is to be pretty," she whispered, as Ron continued to stare at the blonde veela.

"You know I only want you for you mind, not your body," Harry replied, grinning.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly!" she huffed. But then she returned Harry's grin. "That's alright. I only use you for the adventuring opportunities. Think of all I've learned!"

Harry gave a sort of sitting bow. "Anything to be of service, miss." The stared at each other a moment before bursting into laughter. She really had a lovely laugh, Harry decided.

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 18, pg. 290

"Maybe he'll believe I'm not enjoying myself once I've got my neck broken or--"

"That's not funny," said Hermione quietly. "That's not funny at all."

Harry looked over at her stricken face and immediately felt terrible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Hermione turned to face him. "Ron doesn't want you hurt any more than I do," she said in that same quiet voice. She looked at him for a moment before suddenly grabbing one of his hands. "Promise me you'll at least try to be safe. I know that can be hard given-" and here she made a vague gesture towards Harry's forehead, "but at least promise to try. Don't do anything too rash or dangerous. And come to me for help--I know that's against the rules, but what do I care for that--or if you just need to talk. Oh, Harry, just promise to be careful!" Hermione finished, urgently and out of breath.

Harry looked at her and then down at the hand she was holding. A warm feeling spread through him. He took her other hand in his and squeezed them. He looked up into Hermione's shining brown eyes. "For you, anything," he promised quietly.

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 19, pg. 316

"Just ignore it, Harry."

But Harry couldn't ignore it. Hermione may not have looked like a model, but she was pretty, and he was damned if anyone, especially a ratfaced Slytherin like Pansy, was going to say otherwise. His anger must have shown on his face because Hermione laid a warning hand on his arm and shook her head. Harry looked over at her. "Why are you stopping me?" he hissed. "You are pretty and I'm not going to stand around--" he stopped as Hermione held up a hand.

"I don't particularly care if the Slytherins find me attractive, Harry. It doesn't affect me one way or the other," Hermione explained patiently as they continued walking. She glanced over at him and blushed. "But thank you for the compliment."

Harry turned an interesting shade of red as he realized what he'd let slip out. "You're welcome," he mumbled.

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 21, pg 365.

"I was supposed to work out how to get past the dragon on my own too," Harry muttered, so only Hermione could hear him, and she grinned rather guiltily.

"I didn't thing you'd mind," she murmured in his ear. Harry jerked back as her low voice sent a shiver down his spine and her warm breath fanned across his face. He glanced over at her, but Hermione had already turned her attention back to the golden egg.

Harry shook his head. What had that been about?

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 22, pg. 394.

"Oh, I see," Hermione said, bristling. "So basically, you're going to take the best looking girl who'll have you, even if she's completely horrible?"

"You're saying you wouldn't?" Ron shot back.

"If I wanted to ask someone based solely on looks, I would have asked Harry!"

Harry's head jerked up as a small smile formed on his face. "You would ask me based on my looks?"

Ron looked rather put out.

"If I were vain, shallow, cared only about appearances, and was a little, no, more than a little like Malfoy, yes, I would Harry." Hermione snapped, giving Ron a withering stare. Harry's smiled faded.

"On the other hand," Hermione continued on, in full rant mode, "if I wanted to go with someone I could talk to, have intelligent conversation with, be just as comfortable sitting in silence as dancing, and could have an all around great time with..." Hermione trailed off suddenly.

Ron's face lit up. "What, can't think of anyone?" he asked.

"No," she said in a quiet voice, hesitating slightly, glancing over at Harry. "It's just...I...I would think that I would still ask Harry."

Ron looked rather put out.

Harry looked at Hermione's blushing face and locked eyes with her. The smile appeared on his face again, as he reached out and covered her hand with his.

"Ditto," he said quietly.

GoF, US Paperback, ch. 23, pg. 414--The Yule Ball

"Hi, Harry!" she said.

Harry said nothing, continuing to look on in disbelief. Hermione looked beautiful, but his brain was having a hard time comprehending this sudden shift from 'best friend' to 'best friend who's gorgeous and I never bothered to pay attention.' Hermione's smile faltered and tears came to her eyes. Harry snapped out of his trance when he saw this. "I'm sorry!" he apologized quickly. "You look...you look really nice," he said, completely ignoring Krum and Parvati. He stared at her some more as his brain continued to wrestle with this different version of Hermione. Then suddenly, before Harry could even comprehend what he was doing, he grabbed Hermione's hand and kissed it.

He froze. Hermione froze. Krum froze. The whole room froze. Even Dumbledore seemed rooted to the floor, looking on at this entirely unexpected development.

"Harry!" Hermione whispered, sounding horrified, embarrassed and elated all at once, "what are you doing?"

Harry just looked on helplessly. "Saying hello?" he finally managed.

Cho leaned over to Cedric. "I don't remember you greeting me like that."

GoF, Ch. 23, pg. 417 US paperback edition. Harry is observing Krum and Hermione talking at the Yule Ball.

It occurred to Harry that he had never actually heard Krum speak before, but he was certainly talking now, and very enthusiastically at that. Harry never thought that a Bulgarian accent could be so irritating. But he was now sure that Bulgarian accented English was the most grating sound ever produced since some deviant soul had decided to run a fingernail down a blackboard.

GoF, Ch. 26, pg. 505 US paperback ed. Harry has just completed the second task and Hermione is congratulating him.

Harry had the impression that Krum was her attention back onto himself; perhaps to remind her that he had just rescued her from the lake, but Hermine brushed away the beetle impatiently. Harry smiled triumphantly. “Take that, you uni-browed prat!” he thought.

GoF, Ch 26, pg 507 US paperback ed. Hermione is ignoring Krum again...

Krum didn't look to happy at all. He attempted to engage Hermione in conversation again, but she was too busy cheering Harry to listen. Harry sniggered as the voice inside his head gleefully shouted, "Uni-brow! Uni-brow! Uni-brow!".

GoF, ch. 28, pg 546, US. Paperback ed.

Harry was getting sick of telling people that Hermione wasn't his girlfriend. He wished he could say something else but-

"Hey, are you alright?" Hermione said, breaking into his thoughts. She was looking at him with a worried expression on her face.

Harry looked over at her and smiled. "Sorry, I'm okay. I'm just pining over our breakup. I can't believe you left me!" he said in a pathetic voice.

Hermione looked over at him in surprise then returned his smile. "Well, maybe if you were willing to spend a little more time in the library with me--"

"A little more time!" Harry said, outraged, thoroughly enjoying this moment. "All I've done is spent time in the library!"

"A little more time in the library," Hermione continued on, as if she hadn't been so rudely interrupted, "and a little less time with Quidditch, maybe we could have had a chance."

"Don't try to change me, woman." Harry mock growled.

Hermione raised her eyebrow at that, but decided to let it pass. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I can't be with someone who doesn't love the library," she told him sorrowfully.

"Ah, yes, so you decided to go with an internationally renowned Quidditch star," Harry said, nodding sagely. "Impeccable logic as always, Hermione."

Hermione smiled smugly at him. "Perhaps you've forgotten how often we've seen Viktor in the library?"

Harry sobered up at that and felt a growing sense of irritation wash over him. This little conversation (flirtation! a voice in his head screamed) had been immensely fun, but this reminder of Viktor, well, irritated him. What did Krum have that he didn't, besides the Eyebrow-That-Wouldn't-Quit?

GoF, ch. 28, pg. 549, US Paperback ed.

“Don’t you want to see what Percy’s written?” Harry asked hastily.

Hermione continued to stare morosely at her egg and shook her head. “No, no. I think…I think I want to go outside and walk for a bit,” she said, sounding a little depressed. She got up, took her tiny egg and left the common room.

Harry watched her leave with a frustrated look on his face. At that moment, he was very angry with Mrs. Weasley and Rita Skeeter.

“What’s wrong with her?” Ron managed to ask around his mouthful of toffee a few minutes later.

Harry looked over at him exasperatedly, then sighed. “Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ll go talk to her.” He got up and went through the portrait hole.

“Tell her she can have some of mine if she wants!” Ron yelled after him.

Harry shook his head again and made his way outside. He walked over by the lake, some instinct telling him that this is where he would find Hermione. Sure enough, as he approached he saw her sitting near the water, watching the squid’s arms wave lazily back and forth.

“Hey,” he said, dropping down beside her. He touched her shoulder gently. “Are you okay?”

She glanced over at him and nodded. “I just didn’t think that Mrs. Weasley would believe all this, or react this way,” she said softly.

Harry ran a hand through his hair. “Hermione, I’m really sorry about all this. I wish I could fix all of it.”

Hermione shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Harry. It’s that stupid Rita Skeeter and her awful column! Besides,” she said, calming down, “what would you do about her or her stories?”

Harry looked at Hermione and felt a sudden rush of nervousness, excitement, anticipation and fear. “Well…er…well, that is..." he stumbled, hesitating, trying to find the words, " wecouldreallygooutandthathwouldsolvetheproblemwouldn’tit?” he finally finished in a rush. His eyes widened as he realized what he had said and he suddenly became very interested in his shoes. He could feel Hermione’s head snap around and look at him incredulously.

“Harry,” she said, slowly, “did you…did you just ask me out?”

Harry felt his red face answered for him.

Hermione sighed. “Harry, I don’t want to go out with you because you want to solve a problem, or you want to protect me, or you want to make me feel better. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to go out with me. I don’t think I could stand that.”

Harry’s brain had stopped after her first nine words. She doesn’t want to out with me, he thought, his spirits sinking low. For some reason, this thought depressed him immensely. The more he consideration he gave the suggestion, the more the idea of going out with Hermione seemed like a good, pleasant, perfect and completely natural step to take. He wanted to do this and she didn’t. Fortunately, at that moment, the rest of Hermione’s words filtered into his brain.

She didn’t want to go out with him to solve a problem or because she thought he had to.

His head jerked up as he realized what this meant, and he quickly looked over at Hermione, only to find her gazing back at him with a decided look of amusement in her eyes. “There it is!” she said, chuckling.

Harry goggled at her. “You’re saying you want to go out with me anyways?” Harry asked, still a little disbelieving. Hermione just smiled. Harry blinked. “Oh.”

Hermione’s smile faltered a bit and she looked a little worried. “Are you saying you don’t?”

Harry quickly shook his head. “No, no!” He shrugged helplessly. “I do. It’s just that I didn’t expect for this to happen when I came out here.”

Hermione slipped her hand in his. Harry rather liked the feeling. “I think I always knew it would happen. It seemed so natural.” At this, Harry nodded. She continued on, grinning, “Maybe not this quickly, but then, I always knew you were smarter than you let on.”

Harry looked at her suspiciously, “Are you making fun of me?”

Hermione shook her head, still grinning, “Of course not. We smart people don’t have a sense of humor. Didn’t you know?”

Harry grinned back at her, thoroughly enjoying this never before seen of Hermione. She was right, this did feel completely natural. It was like finding a missing part of himself. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, revising his ill-conceived earlier opinion about spending time with her.

Oh, but this was going to be fun.

OotP, ch. 19, pg. 404, US Hardcover ed.

“Good luck, Ron,” said Hermione, standing on tiptoe and kissing him on the cheek. “And you, Harry--”

Harry immediately turned red enough to rival Ron’s hair, although why he did, he couldn’t understand. He had been kissed by her before and she had done the exact same thing to Ron, for goodness sakes…

Hermione was looking at him curiously. “Are you alright, Harry?” she asked as Ron wandered away still looking slightly ill.

Harry nodded quickly. “Er, yeah, just nerves, I guess.” He groaned silently. Nerves? Turning red because of nerves?

Hermione gave him a knowing smile. “Well, one more for your nerves, then,” she murmured and stood up on tiptoe again. Harry could only blink in shock as she pressed another soft kiss onto his cheek. He looked at her as she grinned and walked away, his eyes automatically, it seemed, tracking the soft sway of her hips.

OotP, ch 25, pg. 558, US Hardcover ed.

“Cute, isn’t it?” said Cho happily.

“Er…yeah,” said Harry untruthfully. All he could think was that if he were with Hermione, she would never take him to a place like this. They would probably stay in Flourish and Blotts the entire time, true, but Hermione would never make him feel this uncomfortable on a date.

He decided to ignore the voice in his head (that sounded curiously like Ron) that was wondering why he was thinking about a date with Hermione in the first place and that furthermore, Flourish and Blotts wasn’t that bad of a spot on account of all those bookshelves and hidden nooks and crannies, and being there with Hermione might be more fun than he thought than he originally figured.

OotP, ch. 28, pg 634, US Hardcover ed.

“Now you mention it,” said Hermione happily, “d’you know…I think I’m feeling a bit…rebellious.”

Harry stared at her in shock, his mind replaying her words. It seemed to be particularly stuck on ‘rebellious’ and the way she had positively purred that word. He felt a jolt low in his stomach as he remembered again, seeing her lips form the sounds and hearing her voice become smooth and throaty…

He came to his senses to see Hermione looking at him with a glint in her eye. He grinned suddenly at her and leaned forward. “Just how rebellious are you feeling?” he asked in a low voice.

She arched an eyebrow. “Just try me, Mr. Potter,” she whispered, grinning back.

pg. 165

For some reason, Harry found that he did not want to look at Hermione. He turned to his bed, picked up the pile of clean robes Mrs. Weasley had laid upon it, and crossed the room to his trunk.

“Harry?” said Hermione tentatively.

“It’s all right, Hermione,” Harry said quietly. “You and Ron will make good prefects. You’re a good match.”

Hermione gave him a doubtful look. “Ron and I a good match? Not very likely.” She paused for a moment. “I wish it had been you,” she said in a soft voice.

Harry looked at her, startled, and felt a warm glow seeing her shining eyes. “We would have had fun.”

She smiled at him. “We would have made a good team.”

Harry gave her a genuine smile in return. “We make a good team now.”

The look Hermione gave him warmed him even more and he felt a jolt when he saw that Hermione was blushing. He opened his mouth to speak-

“Oi! Mum’s getting me a new broom!” Ron had returned.

pg. 222-223

“No,” said Hermione calmly, “I told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. And it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down Ron’s and my throats, Harry, because if you haven’t noticed, we’re on your side.”

There was a short pause.

“Oh, forget it,” Hermione said, disgust evident in her voice. She stalked ahead, clearly trying to put as much distance between her and Harry as possible. Harry gave Ron an agonized look before running after her.

“Hermione! Hermione, wait!” he called, catching up to her and putting a restraining hand on her arm. She stopped, but refused to look at him. “I’m really sorry, Hermione.”

She heaved a sigh and nodded once curtly. “Fine.”

Harry made a frustrated noise. He was doing this all wrong. He reached up and touched her cheek and gently turned her head to face him. “I’m sorry,” he repeated quietly.

She looked at him for a moment before nodding. He felt her smooth skin move beneath his fingertips. “I do support you, you know.”

Harry gave her a contrite look. “I know, it’s just that…”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “You prefer to act like Ron?”

His lips twitched. “Heaven forbid…”

Hermione gave him a gentle smile and reached to touch his face, mirroring his position. “I don’t want to lose you, Harry. I rather like you the way you are.”

They heard a throat clear near them and they turned to see Ron gazing at them with a curiously neutral look on his face. “All made up, then?”

pg. 339

“How come you’re not in Ravenclaw?” [Terry Boot] demanded, staring at Hermione with something close to wonder. “With brains like yours?”

“Well, the Sorting Hat did seriously consider putting me in Ravenclaw during my Sorting,” said Hermione brightly, “but it decided on Gryffindor in the end. So does that mean we’re using the Galleons?”

There was a murmur of assent and everybody moved forward to collect one from the basket. Harry looked sideways at Hermione.

“You’re the smartest person I’ve ever know,” he said wonderingly.

Hermione flushed a deep read at the compliment but regained her composure. “Oh, no, what about Professor McGonagall or Professor Lupin or Professor Snape or good heavens, Professor Dumbledore! I think he’s one of the smartest people on the planet.

“I think you could give Professor Dumbledore a run for his money,” he told her firmly. “I’ve never seen anyone quite like you, Hermione.”

“I should imagine not, Harry, as we’re all unique individuals,” Hermione said lightly. “It would be quite boring if we were all the same.”

Harry shook his head. “That’s not what I meant--”

Hermione placed a hand on his. “I know what you meant, Harry.” She smiled. “Thank you,” she said softly.

Harry turned his hand over and squeezed hers. “Smartest witch in the world.”

pg. 503

On their way downstairs they met Hermione. “Thanks for the book, Harry!” she said happily. “I’ve been wanting that New Theory of Numerology for ages! And that perfume is really unusual, Ron.”

Harry looked sharply at Ron. He had gotten her perfume? Suddenly his present didn’t seem quite enough. Hermione said that she had wanted the book, but perfume seemed like a much more appropriate gift now…

Hermione saw his pensive look and stopped. “What’s wrong, Harry?” Ron stopped as well, but Hermione waved him on, and after a moment, Ron decided to go along into the kitchen.

Harry watched him go and stared at the doorway. “I just realized that I should have gotten you a better present. A book doesn’t…it’s not enough. It’s just a book. I should have gotten you something nicer.”

Hermione sighed. “Harry, here’s a little advice. Never buy a woman perfume if you don’t know exactly what she wears. We tend to be very particular about what we like and dislike. I didn’t want to say this, and if you tell Ron, I’ll deny it until I’m blue in the face, but the reason I said the perfume was unusual was because it smelled terrible. It smells awful in the bottle and even worse on me. Chemistry is a funny thing, Harry. You can’t force it. You just have to accept it.”

Harry gave her a bewildered look. “Chemistry? What does that have to do with anything?”

“How the perfume reacts with the skin, Harry. The oils in the perfume are affected by each person’s specific body chemis—never mind. Just don’t buy a woman perfume, Harry. It’s a very personal experience and others rarely get it right.”

“I still should have gotten you a better present.”

Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. “Harry, what you got me is wonderful. That book is something I’ve wanted for a long time. It’s me. It’s who I am.”

Harry grinned at her. “You’re a book?”

She grinned back. “Something like that. You knew what I wanted and gave a gift that reflected that. You didn’t force a gift from something you thought I would like or what you thought I should like and that means so much to me. Your gift is precious to me.”

“Chemistry,” Harry murmured.

“Hmmm?” Hermione asked. “What about it?”

Harry reached up and grabbed her hand. He looked down at their fingers tangled together. “I didn’t force anything. I accepted it. Chemistry.” He looked back at her, his green eyes bright.

She sucked in a breath then gave him a beautiful smile. “Chemistry.”