Love, Lies, and a Secret by Sweet-Lemmon Rating: R Genres: Angst, Romance Relationships: Harry & Hermione Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6 Published: 17/07/2006 Last Updated: 03/10/2007 Status: Paused Twenty-one years ago (1979) James Potter did something to help a friend. Little did he know that it would destroy his own son’s happiness. A story about secrets, forbidden loves and lies. Slightly AU. Post-Hogwarts. >>>>>>>>>CHAPTER 19: "I’m pregnant, Mr. Weasley," Lavender responded in a low but firm voice; her eyes were bloodshot and her hands were visible shaking. "I’m two months pregnant with Ronald’s child and I don’t know what to do."Please read on my profile the inform about this fic’s status. 1. James Potter's daughter -------------------------- **Title: Love, Lies and Secret.** Pairing: Harry / Hermione Rating: R Genre: Romance/ Angst Summary: Twenty-one years ago James Potter did something to help a friend. Little did he know that it would destroy his own son’s happiness. A story about secrets, forbidden loves and lies. Slightly AU. Post-Hogwarts. Warning: Spoilers from the six books. Rated for sex, language, and adult themes. WIP. AN: I know...I know…another story?! But I just couldn't take it off my head! Thanks to Jonathan for the first look on this chapter and Michelle Moonshine for the beta! Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter *I have a tale to tell Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well I was not ready for the fall Too blind to see the writing on the wall A man can tell a thousand lies I've learned my lesson well Hope I live to tell The secret I have learned, 'till then It will burn inside of me I know where beauty lives I've seen it once, I know the warm she gives The light that you could never see It shines inside, you can't take that from me The truth is never far behind You kept it hidden well If I live to tell The secret I knew then Will I ever have the chance again If I ran away, I'd never have the strength To go very far How would they hear the beating of my heart Will it grow cold The secret that I hide, will I grow old How will they hear When will they learn How will they know Live to Tell –Madonna* **Chapter 1 / Prologue: James Potter’s Daughter** *County Hospital, London September 1979* James Potter was sitting in a chair in the waiting room watching the Muggle doctors walking back and forth. It was amazing, really, the way they could do things with machines—without any magic. As a pureblood, he couldn’t totally understand Muggles. They were so strange—unique! Of course, his wife, Lily, had explained some Muggle things to him, but still! It was really amazing. “Merlin,” he thought to himself, “I am starting to sound like Arthur Weasley!” “James?” A female voice broke through his thoughts. James shook his head to snap himself out of his reverie and then gazed at the owner of the voice. He smiled genuinely. “Star! You came! Please, have a seat!” The woman smiled at the nickname. Only James called her that. Even her husband didn’t know. It was their little secret. A little inside joke that they loved. Star was a longtime friend of James Potter. It was really amazing how good their relationship had always been, despite the fact she was almost ten years older than he. She nodded at him and sat in a chair by his side. Star was a very beautiful woman with long black hair and deep dark eyes. Her long and thin fingers were playing with the hem of her Muggle blouse, and James could see she looked a little cautious—and anxious. “I am glad you came, Star.” “I simply couldn’t say no, James. You did so much for me and—” “Star, dear, I did nothing special—but let’s not talk about it. I registered the baby. I mean—” James ran his fingers through his messy hair. “I am now her father; legally speaking.” Star put her hands on her knees and took a deep breath. “I suppose you didn’t tell Lily.” “Of course not!” He looked at his friend as though she was mad. “I just can’t tell Lily! She—we—are going through a not-so-nice phase. This last false alarm—well, she became very depressed after that.” “But she’s okay now, isn’t she?” “Yes, she’s better. But you know how she is. She wants a baby more than anything, and—well, she thinks it’s some personal failing. I’ve tried to tell her we’re still young, that’s there’s no need to hurry, but you see, that’s why I can’t tell her! I can’t tell her that I have a daughter. Okay, the baby girl isn’t really mine, but still!” “I still think you should tell Lily. She is a kind and intelligent person, James. I’m sure she will understand.” “No, I can’t. I can’t risk it, because of Mary . . . and the baby. What if she says something? No.” “You know very well that won’t happen. Lily isn’t the type of woman who just goes around saying things, but it’s your decision. Humm, what about Remus? James seemed a little uncomfortable. “What about him?” “For Merlin’s sake, James!” “Okay, sorry. No, I haven’t seen him. You know very well he hasn’t wanted to see me for a long time.” “James, you know how these times have been difficult for him. This new law about werewolves, it—just destroyed any dreams he ever had.” “Yes, I know! But he was supposed to be our friend! Lily even found work for him. Okay, it’s in the Muggle world, but it’s something! I know very well he doesn’t like that Sirius, Peter, and I help him. He is too stubborn to accept it. What I can’t understand is why he keeps disappearing. He even missed some Order meetings! And—and after Jane’s—” He couldn’t continue. “James, I’m sure Peter misunderstood…” “No. Peter can be a little, er, *slow—*" To this, she snorted. “But not so much that he would misunderstand something like that. He saw Remus talking to Greyback, and then less than twelve hours later—well you know what happened. Jane was attacked—and killed by that monster. It was lucky that Mary wasn’t there at the time. Just lucky.” Star nodded but didn’t say a word. She knew how Jane Adam’s death had touched James’ and Lily’s life. Jane was Muggleborn like Lily. And also like Lily, she had a Muggle sister—Mary. But Mary was everything Petunia wasn’t. She was caring, lovely, and friendly. She loved her sister, Jane’s magical world. In fact, she even started to see a wizard intimately. It was really a surprise when James came to see her a few days after Jane’s death. He had acted so serious that Star thought he was pranking her; James Potter was never that serious. However, there were no pranks. He told his friend that Mary was pregnant and afraid for her life. Star didn’t need to ask who the father was. She just knew. Despite the situation, she smiled. James Potter. He was really a good friend—a good person. So young. with so many responsibilities. He knew that if people found out the truth about the father of Mary’s baby, the baby could be taken. Or worse, killed. To him it was simple. There was only one thing to be done: register the baby as his. “Star?” asked James, looking at his friend in concern. “Huh? Oh! Sorry, I was lost in thought for a second there. But tell me, what’s your, er, *daughter’s* name?" James smiled and replied, “Hermione Jane. Hermione Jane Potter.” ******* So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Kisses Sweet Lemmon 2. A big (and happy?) Weasley family ------------------------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret.** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter AN: Just a few things first: *No, Harry and Hermione are not siblings. James only registered her. They know about it? No. Actually, *almost* no one knows about it. *Harry knows Hermione as Hermione Granger. *Something* happened in the past and she was raised by the Grangers. *Lily and James are Harry’s parents. ***** The story starts with H/G and H/R but you’ll see that things aren't well. *Don't fear, this IS an HHr story. Thanks to Anne Pendragon for taking the first look and Michelle Moonshine for the beta! **Chapter 2: A big (and happy?) Weasley family** *The Burrow* *September 19, 2000** * Harry was sitting on the couch. Ginny, his girlfriend, was by his side, her arm wrapped around his waist. She was talking to him about something…a new dress robe she saw at Madame Malkin’s or something along those lines but he wasn’t paying attention. His green eyes were wandering around the room. It was full of people: the Weasleys, Neville, Luna, Remus and Tonks, Susan, Lisa Turpin, his Auror partner…and many other friends. They were all there celebrating Hermione’s twenty-first birthday. They all seemed so happy…except Hermione. And Harry knew why. It was because of her parents. They weren’t there. They weren’t there because of the simple fact that they were Muggles and Muggles couldn’t see or go to the Burrow. Harry remembered very well the day when Ron broke the news about the birthday party. * *~* Flashback * ~* “You did what, Ronald?” she had asked with angry disbelief growing within her. “I organized you a birthday party, sweetie! All by myself!” Ron had answered with a smile, oblivious to her irritation. “I already invited all our friends!” “At the Burrow…” “Of course, at the Burrow! Where else? Hermione, what’s the matter?” Harry shifted uncomfortable on the couch, absently facing the newspaper he was pretending to be reading. He really hated witnessing Ron and Hermione’s rows. “You know what, Ron? Do whatever you want! I am really tired right now! I am off!” “Herms-“ “Bye, Ronald,” she said firmly. She then turned to Harry, “Good night, Harry,” she said softly. After she left Ron and Harry’s apartment, Ron turned to Harry, “What just happened here? Why couldn’t she be happy? What’s the problem with the Burrow? I mean, I thought she liked it there!” Harry let go of the paper and with a deep sigh he tried to explain, “Yes, Ron, Hermione likes the Burrow but that’s not the problem.” “So, what’s the problem then?” “Her parents, Ron!” “What about her parents?” Ron seemed confused. “You are making no sense, Harry!” “Ron!” Harry yelled in annoyance. “Her parents can’t go to the Burrow! They are Muggles, Ron! She wants celebrate her birthday with them too!” “Oh,” was all what Ron could say and Harry knew that his redheaded friend wouldn’t ever completely understand Hermione. At least not like he did.* *~* ~* End Flashback*~ * ~* Harry shook his head to rid himself of the memory. He continued to look around…until he saw Hermione. She was with Ron, looking extremely bored. He was talking with some friends from Ministry and Harry knew exactly what he was talking about: Quidditch! *Oh Ron, you will never learn!* The boy-who-lived, no, the man, watched as Ron subconsciously tapped at the left pocket of his robes. *Oh no, Ron! Please, don’t do what I think you’re planning to do! * Harry’s eyes left Ron’s hand as he turned his gaze to Hermione. She was looking at him. And Harry knew that she also had seen Ron’s movement. She looked…about ready to explode. She looked at Ron and said something in his ear. He smiled and nodded. She smiled at him, looking slightly fierce, and left the room to the backyard. Even if no words were exchanged between the two of them, Harry knew that Hermione needed to talk. “Ginny, I need to go to the loo,” Harry said to Ginny, interrupting her boring ramblings about Wizards’ fashion. “Oh? Oh! Of course, love,” she replied smiling at him. “I’ll just chat with Luna and Susan, okay?” “Okay, Ginny,” Harry responded absently while he rose from the couch. ~*~ Harry found Hermione pacing nervously around the bench in the backyard. When she saw him, Hermione promptly stop. With her hands on her hips she asked, “Please, Harry, please tell me he won’t do what I think he will do!” Harry ran his hand nervously through his hair and smiled weakly, “I really don’t know. He didn’t say any-,” he stopped, remembering something. Hermione caught that. “What? What did he say? What happened?” “Er,” replied Harry, uncomfortable. “He came home the other day complaining about how diamonds were expensive…” “Oh, god!” she cried in despair, her hands covering her face. “He’s going to do it, won’t he?” Harry just grinned weakly. Hermione took of her hands from her face and look at Harry with determination, “You can talk to him, Harry! You can tell him to not do it!” “Hermione-” “No, Harry! If he proposes to me I… you know very well what I will do!” “You will say no.” “Yes! You know that, he knows that! We have already talked about this so many times! Why can’t he understand?” “He loves you, Hermione-,” Harry tried to say. “And love him but I don’t want to marry right now! I-” “Why? Why, Hermione, why don’t you want to marry me?” asked Ron who had just appeared by the doorway, interrupting her. “Ron-“ “Why?! Please, tell me Hermione! Are you ashamed of me? Is that it?” “No, Ron! And you know that!” she cried, not noticing Harry leaving silently to return to the party. She took a deep breath, “You know that I don’t want to get married right now, Ron. Why would you do that? Did you want to ambush me? Did you want to ask me in front of everybody so that I wouldn’t have the nerve to turn you down?” “Maybe.” He shrugged. “I want to marry you, Hermione! You are already twenty-one. How much time do we have to wait?” “The time that I need in order to finish my training at the Ministry, the time for us – me – to collect enough money to buy a house! I already told you, Ron! I want to focus on my career first!” “Career? You won’t need a career after we get married,” Ron muttered, but unfortunately, Hermione had heard him. “What did you say?” she asked, her voice low and dangerous. “Nothing.” “No, I heard you very well, Ronald Weasley! You said that I wouldn’t need a career after we get married! Why is that? You don’t want me to have a career, Ron?” “Hermione, love, you won’t have time to go on with a career and take care of our house and our children…” “I can’t believe you, Ron! You want me to be a housewife! I won’t be a housewife!” “What’s the problem with that? My mum is a housewife! A good damn one!” “I AM NOT MOLLY WEASLEY, Ron!” she shouted, red with anger. “I LOVE HER BUT I AM NOT HER!” “But Ginny won’t work either when she marries Harry.” “Ginny is a silly little girl, Ronald! Harry wants her to have a job! Why can’t you be like him? Why can’t you support me like he does? Why do you have to be this prat?” “Oh, I knew it! It always comes back to Harry! Harry, the saint!” Ron was really angry now. “No, Ron, stop twisting everything I say! He isn’t my boyfriend…you are! But he knows me better than you do! You even forgot about my parents before planning this party!” “I already said I was sorry!” “I know, Ron,” Hermione replied, a little more softly this time. “But Ron, even if I didn’t have a career we- we still don’t have, you know, enough money, to start a family.” “But we could work around that, love!” Ron pleaded. “I know I can pay for a flat and-“ “Ron! Married people don’t live in a flat! And you know that the Sports Department doesn’t pay you enough to rent a decent flat!” “But mine and Harry’s flat isn’t bad.” “It’s *Harry’s* flat, Ron! You don’t pay a single Knut to live there!” “So, that’s it! This career thing is just bullshit! You don’t want to marry me because I am poor! Because we won’t have much money!” “No, Ron…but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side complaining about why you don’t have enough money!” she said angrily walking away and back to the party. When Harry saw Hermione returning he knew that something was terribly wrong. Her face was red and he could see that she was fighting the urge to cry. However, before he could do or say anything, Ron appeared, shouting in anger, and causing everybody to look at him. “You know what, Hermione Granger? The way things are going…you will be thirty years old and still a bloody virgin!” Without saying a word, Hermione walked towards her boyfriend, slapped him across the face, and Disapparated. 3. Friendship ------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret.** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter Thanks to Anne Pendragon for the first look and Michelle Moonshine for the beta! **Chapter 03: Friendship** *London* *November, 1979* Remus Lupin looked at Lily Potter, shifting uncomfortable on his chair. It has been so long since the last time they had spoken. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her or anything like that…it was just that everything was so difficult. That damn new law, Jane’s death, Mary’s disappearance…Mary…oh, Merlin, how he missed Mary! “So, Lil,” he finally said. “You said you wanted to talk with me? Is something wrong? I mean, did Harley say something to you? Is there something he doesn’t like about my work…?” Lily put her hand over his and smiled. "No, it’s nothing like that. You're doing great. I’m sorry that the job isn’t in the Wizarding..." Remus shook his head. “That’s okay. I don’t mind the Muggles. Lil, what was it you want to talk about?” Lily bit her bottom lip nervously. It was then that Remus realised something was really wrong. Lily seemed…*different.* The werewolf couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was but…she seemed excited and at the same time, sad. “What, Lil, has something happened?” “It’s James, Remus,” she said looking down. “What about James?” Remus asked concerned. “Please, don’t tell me-“ “No!” she said quickly. “It’s about James and I.” Remus sighed in relief. “Thank Merlin,” was all he said. He really didn’t want to talk about James’ and Lily’s love’s issues. “Remus,” Lily spoke again; he noticed that her eyes were beginning to water. “James is seeing another woman.” Remus gasped, “W-What?” “H-He is seeing another woman, Remus!” she sobbed. “I-I don’t who is she but-“ “Lily, I am sure that you are wrong. Okay, James may be a little er, *James* sometimes but he truly loves you. Everybody can see that!” “So, why he is lying to me? Why, Remus? Why does he say he has a business meeting when I know that’s not the truth? Why does he say that he is going to meet Sirius, but then I run into Sirius on the street and he knows nothing about this meeting?! I am not stupid, Remus!” “Lily.” He didn’t really know what to say. “Why don’t you-“ “What if he wants to leave me, Remus?” Lily asked in hysterics. “Oh, God, Remus! He’s going to leave me!” ”Whoa, whoa, Lily! James loves you! He would never leave you! I am sure there’s an explanation for this!” “Oh, Remus…you don’t understand…things are so different now.” The volume of her voice was near that of a whisper. Remus looked at her, his eyebrows arched in question. “I am pregnant, Remus. I’m carrying James’ child.” ********** *Present Day * *September 19, 2000* * * *“You know what, Hermione Granger? The way things are going…you will be thirty years old and still a bloody virgin!” Without saying a word, Hermione walked towards her boyfriend, slapped him across the face, and Disapparated.*** Harry and everyone else in the room were overwhelmed the silence that followed Hermione’s Disapparating. However, the silence didn’t last for much longer. “RONALD WEASLEY!” Mrs. Weasley yelled aloud making everybody shiver, and of course, causing Ron to turn red. “I can’t believe you would say something like that!” Ginny also turned to Ron, ashamed. “That was low, Ron.” Ron looked around in despair, and his eyes met Harry’s deadly gaze. He tried to say something but Harry raised his hand making him stop. “Please, Ron, don’t say a word. I am begging you…don’t speak to me right now. Best friend or not, I’m going to hurt you,” Harry said in a slow and dangerous voice, before looking at Ginny. “Gin-“ “Go after her, Harry,” she answered his unspoken question. “She needs a friend right now.” The young wizard smiled at his girlfriend and gave her a little kiss on the lips. “Thanks, Gin.” Ginny put a hand on his cheek and whispered, “I love you, Harry.” Harry only nodded and Disapparated. *~* ~* ~* ~* *Hermione’s flat* Harry slowly opened Hermione’s bedroom’s door and what he saw nearly broke his heart. Hermione was lying on her bed, crying desperately with her face buried in her pillow. When she saw him, she promptly sat on the edge of the bed. He rapidly came towards his best friend and sat down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and pulling her close to him. “Shh,” he whispered against her ear, his hand stroking her long hair softly. They stayed silent for a few moments until Hermione finally spoke, “Is it all a lie, Harry?” Harry looked at her in surprise. “Is what a lie, Mione?” “Ron. Ron and I. I mean, I don’t want to marry him right now, but I love him, Harry. I truly do. A-And I thought that he loved me back.” “Mione, Ron is a prat. What he said today was terrible, to say the least. But he loves you, I know he does,” Harry said seriously. “B-But w-what he said… it meant that he only wants to marry so we can s-shag…” Harry cupped her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “Ron may be a lot of things but he isn’t that kind of person. Like I said, what he said was terrible. He knew how you felt about getting married now and still, he tried anyway. But that only makes him a fool, and a little stupid, perhaps… but he’s still in love with you.” Hermione didn’t say a word in reply; she only hugged him tightly. Harry smiled to himself until he broke the embrace and said, “But Mione never give up on what you believe just because he’s in a hurry, or has…*urges*.” “I know, Mister Potter,” she said with a smile. Her first smile since he had arrived. “Speaking of *urges*…what about you?” “W-what about me?” He shifted uncomfortable on the bed. “Have you and Gin-“ “No!” he replied quickly. “She wants to wait… you know…” “Uh huh… and when is this going to happen, Harry?” “What?” “When will you marry her?!” Hermione said in an impatient huff. “I don’t know, Mione,” he said truthfully. “It’s similar to how you are feeling. I want to finish my Auror training and… I don’t know. I just don’t want to get married now. I am still pretty young, you know!” Hermione was about to ask him something but decided against it. Instead, she just replied, “I understand. Sorry for asking, Harry, but does Ginny know, er, you know, about-” “Katie? No, she doesn’t. And it’s better this way. Katie, after all, was only-” “Your first.” “Well, yeah.” Harry ran his fingers through his messy hair. “But that was a crazy night. I was completely drunk! I even tried to…” At that moment, the colour of his face resembled that of a tomato. “You even tried to snog me,” she completed his sentence with a smirk. “Oh, god! I don’t want to think about it!” Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. “Why? Is the idea of kissing me so terrible that you can’t even think about it?” “No, nothing like that!” he said quickly. “It’s just that if I had kissed you that night…er…my first time would have been with you and-” He looked down. “And Ron would have probably killed you,” Hermione said without looking at him. “Yeah.” “You know, Harry,” Hermione suddenly spoke, breaking the tense silence that had befallen them. “I used to have a crush on you.” ”Right…” “No, it’s the truth! It was in our third year.” “Are you serious?” She nodded. "But why didn't you ever- ever tell me?" “Are you mental, Potter? It was only a childish crush. I was only a little impressed…you know, after the time turner, our flight on Buckbeak…” She blushed. “But when did you-“ ‘When did I give up? Viktor, I think. I really don’t know. I think it was then that I realised that you liked Cho and… well… I was only being silly. Then, I began to notice Ron and I thought that it was the same king of thing, you know, only a crush…until he began to date Lavender. That’s when I realised I loved him.” Harry was really surprised by Hermione’s words. Never, in all his life could he imagine that his best friend used to have a crush on him. But strangely enough, it wasn’t a bad feeling. The truth was, that he felt rather pleased. * ~* ~* ~* *Some* *time later* Harry silently left the bedroom, leaving a sleeping Hermione behind. He had just stepped into the corridor, closing the door behind him, when Susan Bones approached with a concerned look on her face. “How is she, Harry?” “Sleeping, Susan,” he answered. “I can’t believe that prat!” Hermione’s flat mate hissed. Harry nodded in agreement, as they walked together to the living room. “She’s better now. She cried a lot but she is better. Everything’s going to be okay now.” “If you say so…” “They love each other.” Susan looked at him strangely. “Yeah, they love each other.” Harry clasped his hands a little uncomfortably. He had a feeling that Susan knew, or rather, had thoughts about something that he really didn’t want to think about. “Well, Susan, I have to get going.” “Thank you, Harry,” she kissed his cheek. “Hermione’s lucky to have you.” “I am the lucky one,” he said, his hand on the doorknob. “She is the best friend in the whole world.” He opened the door. “Bye, Susan.” “Bye, Harry,” Susan Bones replied watching him Disapparate in the hall. *~*~*~* “Harry,” he heard Ron’s voice when he arrived at his flat. “We need to talk.” 4. Relantionship ---------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. Thanks Michelle Moonshine for the beta and all her help! **Chapter 4: Relationship** *“Harry,” he heard Ron’s voice when he arrived at his flat. “We need to talk.”* “Not now, Ron,” Harry said, slight annoyance evident in his voice. “I’m really tired.” He continued on his way to his bedroom. “Harry, please,” Ron pleaded. Harry stopped and sighed heavily. “Okay, Ron,” he finally said. “Talk.” “Er, right,” the redhead replied awkwardly. “Why don't we sit down?” He indicated the sofa with a gesture of his arm. Without saying a word, Harry walked over to the armchair and sat down. Ron followed suit and sat on the sofa. After a few minutes of tense silence, Ron finally opened his mouth, “I'm sorry.” Harry couldn't help but laugh dryly. “You’re saying sorry to *me?*” he inquired in obvious disbelief. “Well, yeah,” Ron said, uncomfortably. “You know, for what I said to Hermione--” Harry shook his head. “I can’t believe you! Ron, it isn’t *me* you have to apologise to. It's Hermione! You know, your girlfriend! The amazing girl that you said awful things to!” Ron scratched the back of his head nervously. “I didn't mean what I said. She just made me so mad! And before I knew it, I had said all of these terrible things! I wasn’t thinking…" “Yeah, Ron, you’re right! You didn't think at all!” Harry exclaimed. “You know she doesn't want to get married right now. You know she wants to finish her training first, but you still insisted, Ron! You insisted on something you already knew the answer to.” The redhead stood up from the sofa and began to pace around the room. “I like her, Harry. I like her a lot.” “I know you do,” Harry said simply. “I just want to be with her. You know, get married, and have children-” “And I am sure you’ll do all those things, Ron! You and Hermione will get married, and have children. Just not yet.” “That’s what I don't understand! Why not yet? Why does she want to wait so bloody long?” Harry sighed. Ron could be so difficult sometimes. “Ron--” Ron held up a hand, making Harry stop. “Don't, Harry, I already know all that bullshit about work, money and whatever! She wants to work after we get married? Fine, I think I can deal with that. I can manage her working half period.” Harry shook his head. “I know that in the beginning there can be problems, but my parents got married straight after they left Hogwarts! Okay, so they didn't have money, but they did build a happy family.” Harry sat in silence. Ron continued, “Do you want to know what I want, Harry? What I dream about? I dream about Hermione. Hermione and I together, sharing *things.*” Harry raised an eyebrow at him. “But you and Hermione *are* together.” “No, Harry,” Ron shook his head. “I mean *together.* You know…” “Yeah, I know what you mean. Ron, seriously, between you and me… do you want to marry Hermione so badly just so you can finally sleep with her?” Harry asked slowly, trying not to show his anger. “Of course not! I like her! I want to get married because I like her but--” He took a deep breath. “I am a guy, Harry! My body has *needs*!” “I'm a guy too,” Harry muttered, but Ron didn't hear him. “I'm twenty years old, mate. I understand she wants to wait but-” he shrugged. “I just want to be with her. Harry, don't you have any curiosity?” “C-Curiosity? About what?” Harry asked even though he knew exactly what Ron was talking about. “You know, about being with a girl…er…having sex.” Harry shifted uncomfortably in his armchair. He really didn't want to talk about sex with Ron. “So, don't you?” insisted Ron. “Er…” Ron raised an eyebrow at his friend. There was something odd about the way Harry was acting, and suddenly he came to the realisation. Harry never seemed to be curious or excited about sex. He always seemed so *cool…* Before Ron could say anything, Harry stood up from the armchair, faking a yawn. “I'm really tired, Ron,” he said, getting up to go to his room. “You did, didn't you?” It wasn’t really a question. Harry closed his eyes only to open them a moment later. Slowly, he nodded his head. “Yes, Ron, I had sex.” Ron’s expression was difficult to read. “And no, it wasn’t with Ginny.” “Did you cheat on her?” Ron asked seriously. “No! I swear! It was right after the Final Battle. We weren’t together. I could never-” “It was Hermione, then?” Harry gasped. “Who do you think I am, Ron?” “I don't know, Harry. I don't know. I am supposed to be your best friend but you never told me.” “Ron, I’m sorry if I never told you. It was just a one-night thing, okay? Ask me if it was good; yeah, it was great! But please don't ask me who the girl was.” Ron seemed deep in thought. “So,” he finally said, a smile playing on his lips. “It's good, then?” Harry rolled his eyes. “Yeah, Ron, it’s really good.” “Better than…you know…in the shower…” “God, Ron, you can’t compare your *hand* to a real girl!” ~*~*~*~ *Ministry of Magic* *Auror Department* *September 20, 2000* *11:45 am* “Potter, Turpin,” Kingsley said to Harry and Lisa. “Very good work. You two got an Outstanding in the last simulation. Good.” “Thank you, sir,” they said simultaneously, pleasant smiles on their lips. “However,” Kingsley lifted up his hand. “There are a few things that need to be improved upon. Turpin--” “Yes, sir?” “Turpin, you did well, but you need to work on your nerves. You’ll be a fine Auror; you just need to focus a little more.” Lisa nodded in understanding. “I will do better next time, sir.” “Right,” the senior Auror replied, turning to Harry. “You, Potter…you are better than a lot of fully trained Aurors I know. You really have the--” Kingsley paused, trying to think of a good word to describe what he was meaning to say. “The thing. You really have the *thing.* In other words, you’re really good but you need to control your anger.” Harry sighed. “Of course this job can be frustrating sometimes, but you can’t let it control you.” Harry opened his mouth his mouth to say something, but Kingsley stopped him. “I know, Potter, you and Granger experienced a hard time during the Final Battle-” “Ron helped too.” “Yes, but in the end it was just you and Granger.” Harry seemed a little uncomfortable. He didn't like to discuss the Final Battle. Things didn't go very well that night. *Voldemort… All that blood… Malfoy trying… Hermione. Oh, God, Hermione…*Harry shook his head to banish the memories. “I will control my anger next time, Sir,” he said. “Good, now-” “Why isn’t Hermione an Auror?” Lisa suddenly spoke out. “I mean, everybody talks about how good she was in the Final Battle and…I don't know…I just think it’s curious.” Harry didn't say a word. Deep inside, he liked the fact that Hermione had chosen not to become Auror. It was better this way…he didn't have to be concerned about her…*too much.* “Oh well,” Kingsley commented, a strange twinkle in his eyes, “The Experimental Charms Department can get very…er… *exciting* sometimes.” The two young Aurors raised their eyebrows at their instructor, but Kingsley pretended not to notice. Instead, he went back to the previous subject. “Well, like I was saying before I was interrupted, you two did good work. Now, here are some files,” he said giving two folders to Lisa and Harry, “that I want you to study. They are old cases. I want a report in five days.” They nodded at Kingsley before he left, leaving the two of them alone. “Oh! I can’t believe it!” Lisa cried, hugging him. “This is so great! An Outstanding!” Harry was about to say something when he heard a heavy, fake cough. They quickly broke away from their embrace and looked at the door. Ginny Weasley was standing there, her hands on her hips. She didn't look happy. “We just got an Outstanding in one of our tests,” Harry explained, trying to smile at his girlfriend. “That’s great,” Ginny replied, without a smile. Her eyes narrowed at Lisa, whose hands were dangerously close to Harry’s shoulders. “So, Harry, I hope the *outstanding* news didn’t cause you to forget about our lunch date. “No, Ginevra,” he said a little more rudely than he had intended. He really hated when Ginny started to act this way. “I didn't forget.” “So, let’s get going then,” the redhead said, taking his hand and practically dragging him out of the room. He only had time to throw the folder over to his desk and mutter a quick “I’m sorry” to Lisa. She smiled and muttered back, “That’s okay.” “Now, can you please tell me what the hell happened?” Harry asked after the waiter had delivered their orders. Ginny, who had been quiet since they left the Ministry, finally burst out with, “What happened?! What happened?! That--that-- *Turpin* happened.” “Lisa is my partner, Ginny.” “Oh, yeah! And she simply loves it! Always gaggling over you! “Lisa doesn't gaggle over me!” “And she really had to hug you! No, a handshake or a little tap on the shoulder isn’t enough. No! She really had to hug you!” “Gin, she was only happy. We just had received an--” “An Outstanding. I know, I know. It's just hard, Harry! It's hard to see another girl hugging your boyfriend. Especially when your boyfriend is a hero.” “I'm not a hero, Ginny.” “You will be always my hero, Harry. But I don't want to talk about Turpin anymore. I want to tell you something,” she smiled for the first time. “What is it?” Harry asked, thankful for the change of subject. “I got a job!” she replied excitedly. “That’s wonderful, Gin!” he said. “Tell me about it.” “Remember when I told you that Luna’s father was publishing a new magazine?” “Yeah,” Harry nodded. “It's about Magical and Muggle sports, isn’t it?” “Yes! So, Mr. Lovegood invited me to write about Quidditch. A sports column, Harry!” “Wow!” Harry was truly impressed and very happy for her. “That’s really great!” “Yeah, isn’t it? I was supposed to tell you yesterday, but my *dear* brother…” she sighed. “You know. Speaking of which, how is Hermione?” “She was very upset, but I think she’s better now. Ron really hurt her by saying what he did.” “Ron is my brother and I love him, but sometimes he really can be a git.” “Yeah, he’s really a piece of work,” Harry agreed. Ginny and Harry spent the rest of their lunch talking about Ginny’s new job, Ron, Hermione and other things. Harry didn't notice that he hadn’t even kissed his girlfriend once. ~*~*~*~ *Hermione and Susan’s flat* *08:15pm* “I am really glad that you forgave me, Hermione,” Ron said, caressing Hermione’s arm. They were sitting on the sofa, her head on his shoulder. “I’m really sorry for what I said.” “I know, Ron, I know,” was Hermione’s reply. She was tired and didn't want to discuss it all over again. Ron wanted to get married, she didn't. Ron wanted to bring their relationship to the *next level*, she wanted to wait. She loved him, she was sure she did, but sometimes it was so difficult. He simply didn't seem to understand her, or her needs and wants. The more she had explained how happy her work made her, the less excited he looked. He was never happy for her. ‘*He doesn’t even know what I really do*,*’* she thought bitterly. Then there was sex. The damn sex! Of course she was curious about sex. Of course she wanted to be with a man, but not just yet. She just didn't feel ready for the big step. It didn't mean that she wanted to wait until the wedding. No, she just wanted to be ready. Ron didn't seem to understand. But Harry understood. “Hermione?” Ron’s voice broke her out of her reverie. “Huh? Sorry, Ron,” she apologised. Ron smiled slyly at her and began to place kisses around her neck and collarbone. “Not now, Ron,” she said, pushing him away. “I’m not in the mood.” “You are never in the mood,” he said bitterly, standing up. “You know what? I'm off!” “Ron, please stay--” “Why? Why do you want me to stay?” “We could stay here together, you know, talk…” He laughed. “*Talk?* For Merlin’s sake, Hermione! You're my girlfriend, not my best mate! If I wanted to talk I could have gone to a pub with Harry!” Fighting back an urge to cry, Hermione replied coldly, “Yeah, Ron, I think it’s better that you go home.” “Yeah. Goodnight, Hermione.” “Goodnight, Ron.” Hermione *did* notice that they hadn’t kissed. ~*~*~*~ *Winchester* *December 19, 1979* James Potter was happily playing with the little baby girl. He couldn't help but smile at her little giggles. “She’s really beautiful, Mary. You must be proud of her.” Mary smiled, looking at the little girl in James’ arms. “I am, James. I am. She’s the only thing that keeps me going. I will never be able to repay you for what you are doing for us.” A single tear fell from her brown eyes. “Nah,” James shook his head. “It was nothing. Anyone could have done the same.” “No, James. It was you. You helped me and my little Hermione. I may not be a witch, but I know what can happen if people find out whom her father is. You saved her life, James.” “You would have done the same for me and Lily.” “Of course!” She paused. “How is Lily?” “Fine, I guess.” James’ smile disappeared. Mary looked quizzically at him. “I don't know. She’s just been acting so strange these last few days…” “Why don't you talk with her? Ask her what’s wrong.” “Yeah, I think I will,” he said. “Hey, I saw a park down the street, why don't we go there with Mione?” “Mione?” “Well, why not? Hermione is too long! So, what do you think?” “Don’t you need to go home, James?” “Nah, I can spend a little more time with my princess here. Lily won’t mind.” ~*~*~*~ *Meanwhile…* *London* *The Potter residence* Lily Potter was sitting at the table facing the empty chair in front of her. The dinner was already cold. Her hand was placed on her belly, as she whispered, “You won’t make me cry, James Potter. You won’t.” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Thanks to Anne Pendragon and Lex & Ash 5. Displays of affection ------------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret.** **Chapter 5: Displays of affection** *Ron and Harry’s apartment* *September 22, 2000* * Friday Night* “I can’t believe Ginny is working,” commented Ron. He, Harry and Hermione were in the living room waiting for Ginny. Harry knew that if he waited at The Burrow for Ginny to get ready she would take a lifetime to do it. So, it was simpler to wait for her at his flat. ‘*Why can’t Ginny be more like Hermione? Hermione is always on time and she always looks beau…pretty*,’ Harry thought. “I said that I can’t believe Ginny is working,” Ron repeated, annoyed that no one had said anything. “We heard you, Ron,” Hermione snapped. “What do you want us to say?” Ron was about to say something that would probably start an argument, but Harry didn't give him the chance. “I think it’s good for her,” Harry said, and Hermione nodded in agreement, smiling. “So, you are okay with this?” Ron asked, slightly surprised with Harry’s opinion. “Of course, why not? She’ll have an occupation, not to mention her own money and…” “Money? But she has you…” “Ron!” Hermione exclaimed, scandalized. “I can’t believe you just said that!” “What? Harry *has* money.” “Yes!” she cried, indignantly. “Harry has money. Not Ginny. Not you. Not me! Harry!” Harry ran a hand through his dark hair, feeling uncomfortable with the new argument that was taking place. *‘Merlin, why do they have to fight over everything?’* “Guys, please,” he was almost begging, “Let’s not talk about my bank account. That’s not my favorite subject.” “Oh, Harry!” Hermione cried, standing up. “I'm so sorry! I know how you hate this issue!” Hermione went to Harry, giving him a hug. Harry wanted to hug her back more than anything, but he restrained himself after seeing the strange look in Ron’s eyes. “T-That’s okay, Mione,” he said, tapping her awkwardly on the back. Hermione let go of him and looked into his green eyes. “You’re a great man, Harry Potter,” she said before giving him a kiss on his cheek. Harry didn't know why, but he felt his cheeks burning. Thank Merlin the door’s bell rang before he had to say something, or worse, before Ron could kill him! Harry rapidly stood up, and went to the door. “Hello, love,” Ginny said, stepping in. “Hi, Ginny,” Harry replied, kissing her lightly on the lips. “You look nice.” "Thanks, Harry. Sorry for my delay, I-" she was saying, but was interrupted by Hermione's voice. “For Merlin’s Sake, Ron!” Harry and Ginny heard Hermione yelling. The dark haired wizard closed his eyes, and sighed. Ginny looked at Harry, shook her head, and walked over to Ron and Hermione. “Are you two fighting *again?”* she asked. The couple stopped their argument and looked at her. “Hi, Ginny. Sorry about this.” Hermione stood up and gave her friend a quick hug. “But your brother just…argh! He just asked me to restrain my displays of affection towards Harry!” Ginny looked at Hermione and then at her brother. Ron seemed about to explode, his face seeming redder than a tomato. She shook her head and then looked at Harry. However, much to everyone’s surprise, she started to laugh. “For Merlin’s Sake, Ron! I can’t believe you’re jealous of Harry! T-That’s just *ridiculous.”* She took a breath. “I mean, everybody knows that *I* am a jealous person. I simply hate to see Harry with other girls. Especially that Turpin,” she added quickly, smiling at Harry. “But if there is anybody I can trust with him, that’s Hermione. Ron, you, Harry and Hermione have been friends since forever. You three have been through so much. I think this is a little selfish on your part, Ron. You, more than anyone, should know how special a *friendship* they have. "Now!" She clapped her hands together. "Get over it and let’s go to that damn pub!" Ron didn’t look too convinced but nodded anyway; Hermione muttered a *thank you.* “Yeah, let’s go.” Harry was very proud of his girlfriend. He knew that she could be childish sometimes, but she never questioned his and Hermione’s friendship. “We are already late,” he said, taking Ginny’s hand. Ron didn't take Hermione’s. ________________________________________ *The Leprechauns * *08:00pm* “Finally,” Harry muttered to Ginny, as they were taking their seats at the pub’s table. “Yeah, finally,” Ron also said. The redhead wizard didn't look too happy. He continued to shoot angry glances towards Harry and Hermione, and it was starting to get on Harry’s nerves. “Guys, you’re here!” exclaimed Seamus, Susan Bones, his girlfriend, by his side. “I hope you like my little establishment. The first round is for free.” “Seamus, love, you always say that when they came here,” Susan said and smiled, shaking her head. She didn't miss the sorrowful look on Hermione’s face but decided not to comment. She knew her flat mate too well, and quickly realised that Ronald Weasley had done another stupid thing. “Now, let’s go to the bar, that new guy isn’t very intelligent, and today is Friday!” She stopped and then looked at Hermione but didn't say anything, but Hermione would know that it meant Susan wanted to speak with her alone. “How could I get any luckier?” Seamus said, kissing Susan’s cheeks. “She just finished her shift at Saint Mungo’s and still had the time and strength to come here and help me.” “It's the love, Seamus!” Ginny exclaimed, smiling. “The love!” "Yeah, now go back to see the other customers, man,” Harry said. "We'll be alright. Don't worry and thanks for everything!" “Okay…Okay…I will let the love birds alone. Call me if you need anything,” he said. "Ah, I almost forgot. Neville and Luna are here, too-" He stopped and looked around at the dance floor. "-somewhere. Oh well, I'd better get going. Duty calls!" “See you, Seamus, Susan,” they all replied, with the exception of Ron. ________________________________________ *08: 50pm* “Ron, why don't we try this new drink?” Hermione asked softly, trying to make conversation. Almost an hour had passed since their arrival, and Hermione had spent all of that time looking at the menu. Ron was simply insupportable. He had even started a conversation with Harry and Ginny about Quidditch but Harry cut him off. He knew that Hermione would feel left out. “It looks good, don't you think?” “I don't want to try any girlie drink!“ Ron snapped, looking at the menu. *“Strawberry and Wine*! For Merlin’s Sake, Hermione! I prefer my Firewhisky, thank you very much!” Hermione looked down. “Strawberry and Wine? Hum! It sounds good!” Ginny commented, trying to sound cheerful. “Why don't we share one drink to see if it is good?” "Thanks, Ginny," Hermione said, her voice almost a whisper. Harry was very proud of his girlfriend. He knew that if he had said something, Ron would have had a fit. ________________________________________ *09:50 pm* “But, Harry, why can’t you go to the party tomorrow?” Ron asked. After a few shots of Firewhisky, he didn't seem so moody anymore. “It will be a damn good party!” “Ron, I already told you. Tomorrow I have a special assignment. Sorry, I know that the Sports Department parties are pretty good but I really can’t.” “I'm not happy with you not being there either,” Ginny said, “but at least Turpin won’t be with you.” Harry shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I will be with Tonks. Lisa is out of the city, visiting an aunt, I think.” “Thank Merlin,” Ginny muttered, “But this doesn’t mean that I won't go! It will be my first assignment as a sport journalist! Luna will go with me. I hope that's okay, love.” “I think it’s fantastic. I am very proud of you,” Harry replied, pretending not to notice Ron rolling his eyes. “And you, Mione? Ron said you won’t go either.” Hermione looked apologetic. “Yeah, I really can’t. Tomorrow night, Terry and I will experiment a new spell. You know how time is important for these things.” "That's sound so interesting," Ron muttered with sarcasm, receiving a disapproving look from his girlfriend. “I bet it is more interesting than reading about how bad the Chuddley Cannons played!” Hermione shouted. “Aha! I knew you-” “Hey, guys, what’s up?” Neville said, interrupting Ron. He and his girlfriend, Luna Lovegood, had just approached the table. “Hi, Nev. Hi, Luna,” Hermione greeted them, forcing a smile. Truth be told, she just wanted to go home. “Hi, Hermione, Harry, Gin…Ronald…” Luna replied. “Why are you here? Let’s dance!” Ginny looked at Harry with pleading eyes. “Harry…” Harry really hated to dance. Okay, he didn't *hate* it, he just didn't like it very much, but he knew how happy Ginny became when he danced with her. And he really wanted to be far away from Ron, otherwise he would, sooner or later, resort to punching him. “Okay, Gin,” he agreed, “but you know how bad I am…” Ginny thanked him, giving Harry a kiss. “Ron, wouldn’t you like to dance too?” Hermione asked tentatively. “You know I hate it,” Ron answered rudely. “I’ll stay here!” Harry knew, by Hermione’s expression, that she was counting mentally to ten in attempt as stopping herself from yelling at her boyfriend. He saw her taking a deep breath before speaking, “Okay, Ronald, do whatever you want. I'm going to talk with Susan.” She looked at the bar where Susan was helping Seamus. “But then I’ll be alone!” Ron cried indignantly. Hermione only shrugged, leaving the table. No one said a word, but Harry made a mental note to have a serious talk with Ron when they got home. ________________________________________ *10:**05pm* “I can’t believe that… *that Weasel!*” Susan exclaimed huffily, after listening to Hermione recalling everything that Ron had said. “He's really an idiot!” “Susan…” Hermione tried to say. “No, Hermione!” Susan cut her off. “Every time the same thing happens! On your birthday, it was your work; today, it was Harry…and tomorrow, who knows! He's always complaining about something!” “He just does it because he loves me…he is just jealous.” “Hermione, this isn’t jealousy. It's possession! Everybody knows how close you and Harry are! Even Ginny accepts it! And we all know how jealous she is!” Hermione just sighed. She knew Susan was telling the truth. That wasn’t the first time that Ron had a fit because of Harry. And it was tiring her. “But I love him, Su…” “Do you?” Hermione looked at her friend, confused. “Of course I love him! I’ll even marry him someday!” Susan shook her head but didn't say anything. Instead, she looked at Seamus, who was nudging her arm with his fingers. “What, Seamus?” Saying nothing, he indicated Ron’s table with his head. Susan turned around, seeing as her and Hermione’s backs were to the table, and saw Ron chatting with Lavender Brown. “What are you looking… oh!” Hermione exclaimed weakly, after seeing her boyfriend chatting with his ex girlfriend. “T-That's okay. They are friends, you know.” Seamus and Susan exchanged glances. “Weasley is a stupid git,” the Irishman mumbled. Hermione watched with a heavy heart as Lavender whispered something into Ron’s ear. He shook his head but smiled. Lavender insisted again on whatever she wanted and Ron finally gave in. The brown-haired girl felt like she was dying when Ron took Lavender’s hand and the two of them went to the dance floor. “I-I need to go to the ladies' room,” Hermione whispered, fighting the urge to cry. “Hermione-” Susan tried to say something, but her friend just shook her head. ________________________________________ “Hermione, please, open the door!” Hermione heard Ginny calling from outside the cubicle. She opened the door tentatively, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Ginny, Susan and Luna were waiting for her. “Oh, Herms!” Ginny cried, hugging her friend. “My brother is a stupid git! I prohibit you to cry because of him!” “Ginny is right, Hermione,” Susan agreed. “Ronald is so childish…” “Now, let’s clean this pretty face,” Ginny said, looking at Hermione. “And let’s go back to the party! You deserve to have fun, Herms! And no one will deny it!” “T-Thanks.” ~*~*~*~ Hermione and the other girls were leaving the ladies' room when Harry walked towards them. He had a big smile on his lips that, despite everything, made her heart melt. "Miss Granger, would you like to dance with me?" he asked, getting down on one knee. The girls giggled. Before answering, Hermione looked at Ginny, who nodded. “Tonight, I will let you dance with my man,” she said jokily. “Come on, Herms, my knee is hurting!” “Okay, okay…I will dance with you, Mister Potter!” “Thank Merlin!” he said, standing up. He took her hand and they went to the dance floor. ________________________________________ *The* *dance floor* Harry knew he shouldn’t be feeling this way. He was only helping a friend. It had been Ginny’s idea. But the problem was that he loved to have Hermione in his arms. She looked so beautiful, innocent even. He knew that Ron was his best friend and he would kill for him, but sometimes the redhead wizard went too far. How was it possible that Ron couldn’t see how wonderful a girl he had? “You are really beautiful, Mione,” Harry whispered into her ear while they danced. “You don't need to lie, Harry,” she whispered back. “I really appreciate what you are doing for me.” He looked straightly into her brown eyes. “I'm not lying, Hermione,” Harry said firmly. “You are beautiful. If Ron can’t see it, he is a stupid git.” Hermione didn't say anything. She just smiled at him and broke the eye contact, resting her head on his shoulder, eyes closed. She felt so safe, so complete, so good in Harry’s arms, that Ron didn't seem so important anymore. Yes, it still hurt. She felt bad about her boyfriend, but the urge to cry had stopped. And truthfully, she didn’t even know where in hell he and Lavender were and she didn’t give a damn. At that moment, she had Harry and it was the only thing that mattered. ________________________________________ The two friends continued to dance. It was like they were the only people in the whole world. It was at times like these that Harry wondered why he didn't feel complete when he was with Ginny, why he felt so good with Hermione. He liked Ginny, of course. She was his girlfriend, but sometimes they seemed so different, so distant. Like on the dance floor; dancing with Ginny was fine; dancing with Hermione was amazing. *Hermione was amazing.* Harry shook his head. He wasn't supposed to think that Hermione was amazing. It was wrong. “Harry?” Hermione asked, looking at him, her arms around his neck. “Are you okay?” “Oh? Oh! I'm fine,” he mumbled back. “I know you too well, Mr. Potter,” she said. “I swear, it’s nothing to worry about.” He stopped dancing but continued to hold her. “And you, Mione? How are *you?* ” “Still a little sad…hurt, but I know that everything’s going to be alright. Ron-” “Ron is a git! You can be sure that he and I will have a talk about it!” “Harry, I don't want-” “No, Hermione, what he did today was uncalled for. He knows how you feel about Lavender and still! Merlin, Hermione, he transformed our night, *your* night, into a nightmare!” She let go of his neck and put a hand on his cheek, a sad smile playing on her lips. “Ginny is very lucky to have you, Harry. Thank you for this dance.” “Hermione-” “I’m going home.” “But Hermione-” “I'm really tired. Please say thanks and goodbye to the others for me,” she said, moving to take something from her purse. Harry made her stop. “What are you doing?” “Getting a few Galleons…” “For?” “Harry, the drinks I-” “No, no and no! It's my treat.” “But Harry…Ron won't like that.” “That's his problem.” She smiled and kissed his cheek before leaving. ________________________________________ *Ron and Harry's apartment Harry’s bedroom 03:10 am* Harry was lying awake on his bed, watching the ceiling. He simply couldn't sleep. He and Ron had come home at about 01:00am and Harry wanted to say some things to his redheaded friend, but Ron merely refused to talk. Ron simply entered his bedroom, groaning about how ungrateful Hermione was. Harry watched his friend’s attitude with angry disbelief. He knew that Ron hadn't cheated on Hermione; he and Lavender had only danced to a couple of songs and then Ron went to talk with some colleagues from his work. The problem was the way Ron was acting, the way he had treated Hermione. Just thinking about it made Harry's blood begin to boil. “Argh!” Harry cried, standing up from the bed. “I can't sleep!” He changed his clothes and left. ________________________________________ *Hermione and Susan’s flat Hermione's bedroom* Harry entered the bedroom trying to not make any noise. He really didn't know what he was doing there. ‘I *just want to make sure Hermione's alright,’* he thought, trying to convince himself that his being here was justified. ‘*You know very well that you can come here tomorrow*,’ a little voice said inside his head. It was a little inner voice that he simply decided to ignore. He just wanted to see her; he *needed* to see her… *Hermione…* “Hermione”, he whispered, watching her sleep. “So beautiful…” Harry shook his head, walking towards the bed. He just wanted to make sure that she was alright. *Yeah-* Without thinking, Harry got onto the bed. “God, what am I doing?” he asked himself, nuzzling her neck, as he brought her body next to his. She stirred a little, but didn't wake up. “I must be going mad.” Yeah, maybe the great Harry Potter was going mad… But he really didn't care. *** Thanks Michelle Moonshine for the beta. 6. Something isn't right ------------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret.** Thanks to Michelle Moonshine for the beta. **Chapter 06: Something isn’t right.** Hermione woke up, but remained with her eyes closed. She had had a strange dream the night before. She simply had dreamed that Harry had entered her bedroom, gotten into her bed and slept with her! *‘Merlin, that was an odd dream,’* she thought to herself, a small smile playing on her lips. Truth be told, even if Harry was her best friend, the thought of having him sleeping with her was *nice.* He was the most handsome guy she knew. There was no way to deny that! *‘Damn you, Katie Bell, for having the chance to see that cute bum of his,’* she thought with a slight giggle. Hermione sighed, shaking her head. She knew she had to open her eyes, and get out of bed. But then, she suddenly became aware of a *strange* feeling, a sensation, on the back of her neck. A breath. She then also became aware of the light weight upon her waist. Hermione opened her eyes, her heart beating very quickly. She was totally awake now. *‘What the hell is going on here?’* The young witch slowly turned around and saw Harry. Harry. He was sleeping peacefully, his glasses still on. He had an arm around her waist and when she moved, he instinctively brought her closer to him. “Harry!” Hermione cried. The dark haired wizard began to stir, slowly opening his eyes. “What…?” He seemed a little lost. “HERMIONE! What are you doing in my bed?” “Harry, *you* are in *my* bed!” she hissed, trying hard to not giggle at his confused expression, which she had to admit was quite cute. “Oh,” he said. He started to remember… The pub… Ron…the dancing…her bedroom. “Oh!” He blushed a deep red as he noticed where his hand was, and he quickly let go of her. “Er…I am sorry?” “Harry, my dear friend, can you please explain what are doing in my bed?” “Er, well, you see…” he was beginning to explain, or trying to, in the least. It was then that voices could be heard coming from outside the bedroom. There were two people, and they were shouting. *“She is my bloody girlfriend, Bones!”* They heard Ron’s angry yell. *“Ohh!* *So now she is your girlfriend!”* Susan shouted back. *“That wasn't what it looked like yesterday, Weasley. You're such a hypocrite!”* *“Mind on your own business, Susan!” he hissed. “Now, get out of my way. I want to speak to my girlfriend.”* *“And I already said ‘no!’ She is sleeping. You will not enter her room!”* Harry and Hermione exchanged worried glances. “Harry, get under my bed. I can deal with Ron,” she hissed in a rushed tone. “I'll try to get him out of the flat. Then you can go.” “I could Disapparate,” he said, without thinking. “Have you forgotten that you can't Apparate or Disapparate here? *You* were the one who insisted on putting up Anti-Apparation wards.” He mentally kicked himself. “Er…” She simply shook her head. “Go, go! Under the bed!” When Harry was finally hidden, Hermione took a deep breath and made her way towards the bedroom door. “Do you want to speak with me, Ronald?” she asked coolly, after opening it. “Yes, yes,” he said entering the room and sitting on the edge of her bed. Susan looked at Hermione quizzically, like she wanted to ask her something, but instead, she only said, “I will be in my room if you need me.” “Thanks, Su,” Hermione said, and Susan left. “Hermione,” Harry heard Ron saying. Ron’s voice seemed a little unsure. “I-I want to…” Harry could swear that Ron was running his hand through his hair. “What, Ron?” Hermione spat. “Do you want to say sorry? Do you want to apologize for being a totally arse?” “Er, yeah… I'm really sorry, Herms.” “You know, Ron, you need to stop with this jealousy towards Harry. I mean, it’s ridiculous. Harry and I are *friends. Only friends, nothing more.”* Harry didn't know why but those words brought on a not-so-nice sensation. “But,” she continued, “what really hurt me was seeing you with Lavender Brown. Lavender, of all people! You didn't want to dance with me but you danced with her. *Her*, Ron! Do you have any idea how I felt?” “Er…jealous?” Ron asked, almost hopefully. “No, Ron!” she cried angrily. “I felt humiliated!” “I-I just wanted to make you feel jealous,” he tried to explain his actions. “You know, like you did in our sixth year. The Slug Party, remember? You went with McLaggen to make me jealous.” Hermione emitted a sarcastic yet sad laugh. “First of all, Ron, I was seventeen then, for Merlin’s Sake! And second, I didn't invite Cormac to make you jealous.” “What?! But I thought-” Ron exclaimed surprised. Harry was surprised as well. He had always thought… “I asked McLaggen to hurt you…like you had hurt me. That year, the only thing you did, besides snog Lavender, was complain about how ridiculous the Slug Club was. You never ever said an appreciative word towards me!” “But-” “Have you ever realised it how important it was to me to be part of that?” “But it was only a club…” “I am a Muggleborn, Ron!” Hermione cried. “A Muggleborn! Slughorn invited me because of *me*! Not because of a famous name, or a relative at the Ministry or whatever! No, he invited me because he thought that what *I* was meant something! And you never congratulated me! All you could do was be angry because *you* didn't take part in that!” The room was filled with silence. Harry shifted uncomfortable under the bed. He felt terrible. *He* had never congratulated Hermione for taking part in the Slug Club. He had never thought about that, about how it would be important to her. “I'm sorry,” Ron finally said, breaking the silence. “I'm really sorry for everything.” “That's okay, Ron,” Hermione said. “I just don't want to argue anymore.” Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was going to forgive him? Just like *that?!* After all he had done?! “Hermione…” “Ron…” Then Harry died and went strictly to hell. What he heard next nearly broke his heart, even if he didn't understand why. He heard kisses. Ron and Hermione were snogging, with him under the bed. *‘I should… I must be happy for them,’* he thought fiercely. “Ron… stop!” Harry heard Hermione saying after some time. She was having difficulty breathing. The answer was…silence. “Ron, stop!” she cried this time. “I don't want to go further.” Harry felt an urge to hurt Ron. If he tried to do anything to her against her will… argh! “Sorry,” Ron apologized, but he didn't sound sorry at all. “Ron, what about we go to breakfast together? I know a place nearby. I can take a quick shower and-” “Er, sorry, Hermione, but I already promised the guys from work that I would be playing Quidditch with them today.” “Oh.” *‘Merlin, Ron, you're an idiot!’* “Okay, so let me take you to the door,” Hermione said in a small voice. “I don't want you to be late.” Harry felt she was standing up from the bed. “Right,” Ron said awkwardly, standing up as well. In silence, the couple left the bedroom. Harry sighed in relief. He waited a few minutes before leaving his hiding spot. He wanted to make sure that no one (meaning Ron) entered the room and saw him. However, the bedroom’s door suddenly opened and Susan Bones came in. He was on all fours. Ridiculous… He froze. “You can leave now, Harry,” she said as though it was the most normal occurrence in the world to find Harry Potter, on his knees, on her friend’s bedroom floor. “Weasley’s already left.” Harry stood up, looking to her with a slightly surprised expression etched into his features. “I saw you entering her bedroom last night. So, don't look so surprised.” “Oh, I swear, Susan, nothing happened…” “I know,” she smiled at him. “She would never cheat on that idiot.” “Ron is my friend, Susan.” “Yes, I know, but this doesn't make him less of an idiot. It's not that I dislike him. No, he *is* a great guy but he is also a terrible boyfriend.” Harry nodded. He knew she was right. “It’s always the same thing, Harry.” “What do you mean? Are you talking about him and Lavender?” “No,” she replied quickly, “This was the first time, that I know. I'm talking about the other nights. Nights with only just the two of them, without you and Ginny…” “What about the other nights?” “He always leaves her alone. He always leaves her alone and goes to talk with his friends from the Ministry. Seamus and I always try to cheer her up but… you know it isn't the same thing.” She took a deep breath. “He doesn't deserve her, Harry.” Harry sighed, shook his head, but didn't comment. Instead, he asked where Hermione was. “Taking a shower,” was Susan’s answer. “She said you could go.” “But I wanted to talk to her. Explain…” “She knows. But she really needs to be alone right now, Harry. I'm sure you can understand.” Harry only nodded. ~*~*~*~ **Harry and Ron’s flat** **Harry's bathroom** With his eyes closed, Harry let the water fall over his body. He really needed this. He needed to sense, to feel, the water washing his problems away. Everything was so strange, so difficult. He didn't know what to think, what to say, how to react. Why did Hermione and Ron’s relationship suddenly sound so wrong to him? Why was it so *painful?* Why didn't he have the slightest desire to see his own girlfriend? Harry sighed, shutting off the water. He wanted to leave the flat before Ron’s arrival. He didn't fancy the idea of seeing his friend right now. He thought he could go to Grimmauld Place, and ask Remus and Tonks to lunch with him. Yeah, that was a nice idea. ~*~*~*~ **Hermione and Susan’s flat*** **Hermione’s bedroom*** “Hermione, how are you feeling?” Susan asked kindly. “Please be honest.” “I don't know,” Hermione sobbed.” I really don't know. I don't even know why I am crying!” “Hermione, what Ron did-” “No, Susan, that's exactly the problem. I am not crying because of Ron. To be honest, I don't give a shit about Ron right now!” Susan looked at her, her eyebrows kneading together in question. “And that's the problem! I know I *should* be crying because of *him*… I'm not saying that he didn't hurt me because he did but-” “You don't know if your feelings for him are the same as before.” Hermione nodded, looking down at her hands. “That isn't all?” It wasn't really a question. Hermione only shook her head. “That's okay-” “No! How can it be okay!” Hermione cried, looking up at Susan. “Do you know what I wanted to do last night when Harry and I were dancing? I wanted to kiss Harry! God, I wanted to kiss Harry more than anything!” She broke down, crying despairingly. Without saying a word, Susan took Hermione into her arms and let her cry against her shoulder. ~*~*~*~ **A Restaurant** “Now, Harry, can you please tell us what's going on?” Remus asked. “Er, nothing. I just want to have lunch with you two,” Harry replied, trying to sound innocent. “I thought it wouldn’t be a problem.” “Oh, don't give me that, Harry! You're too much like your father to fool me!” Harry sighed, looking between Remus and Tonks. “I slept with Hermione.” Tonks choked on her drink. Remus gasped. “W-What did you say?” he managed to ask. Harry looked quizzically at them; then, the realisation came to him. “No!” he said quickly. “It was nothing like *that.*” He then proceeded to tell them everything. “…and then I left,” Harry finished his story, and looked in expectation at them. To his surprise, they laughed. “Why are you laughing?” he asked indignantly. “It was terrible!” “We know… we know. I'm sorry,” Remus apologised, sobering. “But, tell me Harry, what was *really* terrible; you, under her bed, or Ron and Hermione snogging?” Harry looked surprised at Remus. “I don't know,” he finally said, looking down at his plate. Remus and Tonks exchanged glances. “Harry,” the werewolf said, “How do you feel about Ginny?” “She's my girlfriend.” “I know, Harry. What I asked was how you *feel* about her.” “Er…I like her.” “You *like* her? Harry, when are you going to propose her? I mean, I'm sure she's waiting for you to pop the big question.” Harry ran a hand through his messy hair. What the hell was Remus playing at? “I still need to finish my Auror training, you know that Remus.” “Sure, of course. Your Auror training… right. So, it will be next year, right?” “N-Next year?” “Yeah, next year. Next year you will ask her. Next year your Auror training will be finished. So, there won't be a problem, right?” “Er, right.” Remus shook his head. “Maybe, Harry, it’s time for you to be honest with Ginny… and yourself.” Harry tried to say something but Remus cut him off. “But, now, let’s eat. I'm starving.” And they all ate in silence. ~*~*~*~ **At Night** **Sports Department Party** “So, Ginny, are you enjoying the party?” Luna asked. “Yes,” Ginny replied, her eyes wandering around the saloon. “It would be nicer if Harry could be here with me. But oh well.” Luna gave her a half smile. The blonde girl looked like she wanted to say something, but reframed. They continued to talk, small talk about nothing in particular. ~~~~ “Won, won.” Ron heard a very familiar voice behind him. He turned around and saw Lavender. She looked stunning, wearing a pink strapless dress. “Fancy a drink with me?” He knew that he should say no, but she was too hot for her own good. “Sure, I would love to.” ~~~~ “When Skeeter is finished with Meaghan McCormack, you go over and talk with her,” Luna instructed Ginny, “but don't forget-” “Don't ask her personal questions,” Ginny finished for Luna. “I know, after all, our readers want to know about Quidditch not about her love life.” Luna smiled at her friend. She was about to say something else when they heard someone snickering behind them. The two friends turned around, and were met with an unpleasant surprise. “Well, well, well. What do we have here? Looney and Weaselette.” “Malfoy,” Ginny groaned. “What are doing here?” “Whoa, whoa!” He held up his hands in false surrender. “I was invited, you know… I am a Hogwarts teacher now,” he said meekly. “It's beyond me why McGonagall hired you.” My darling Weaselette, I am what people call a war hero! Order of Merlin, second class, but, of course, I deserved the first class.” “Only Harry and Hermione received the first class,” Ginny said angrily. “Yeah, speaking of which, where's Potty and Granger? Off shagging somewhere?” “They're working.” “Oh, so that’s what they call it these days?” Malfoy muttered, his eyes flashing mischievously. He then leaned towards Ginny and grabbed her face with hands, kissing her hard on the lips. Luna watched with mild interest. “What the hell-” Ginny cried, pulling away from him. “You are pretty good for a Weasley, Red,” he said with a sly smile before walking away. ~*~*~*~ **Knockturn Alley** **Outside a club***.* “Damnit!” Harry cried angrily, hands on his knees. “We lost him.” “No, we didn’t,” Tonks said. “He entered the club.” Harry looked to her in confusion. “But I didn't see anything.” Tonks smiled appreciatively, a hand on his shoulder. “Observance, training and experience, my dear Harry. With time you’ll manage to do it.” “Okay, let's go,” he said walking towards the club’s entrance. However, Tonks stopped him. “What Tonks?” “Before we enter… umm… you know this is dark place, right? The scum of our world frequents it, however-” She paused. “However *what*, Tonks?” Harry asked impatiently. “Not everyone who frequents this place is dark. Some people come here to meet their… er… love affairs, if you understand what I mean.” “Oh, right. So, this is also a place for lovers. But why are you telling me this?” “It's just that…maybe you will see someone you know… oh, well, that's it.” “Okay, Tonks, I got your point. But to tell you the truth, I don't give a damn about someone else’s love’s life. Now, can we go?” Tonks nodded and they entered the club. ~*~*~*~ **The** **party** “So Meaghan, what are the chances for the next match?” Ginny asked the famous keeper. “Well, Ginny…” Meaghan began to respond when a shocking scene diverted Ginny’s attention. Her brother, Ron, and Lavender Brown were snogging in a corner. ~~~~ “Lav, we need to stop,” Ron moaned against her mouth. “Someone might see us.” “Let's go to somewhere else,” she said taking his hand. Neither of them noticed Ginny. ~~~ “…and that's it,” Meaghan McCormack finished what she was saying. Ginny blinked, shaking her head and tried to focus her attention back to the keeper. “Thank you, Meaghan, for the interview. Good luck with the next match,” she said, shaking Meaghan’s hand. “You're welcome, Ginny. It was my pleasure, and thanks.” Meaghan smiled. “Now, if you excuse me, I’ll be going back to the party.” Ginny nodded. “Sure, thanks again.” When Meaghan had finally gone, Ginny looked back at the corner where Ron and Lavender were. However, the couple wasn’t there anymore. “Damnit, I need to find Luna.” ~*~*~*~ **The** **club** “So, Harry, did you see him?” Tonks asked, almost shouting into Harry's ear. The place was crowded, so much so, that there was nearly no space to walk. “Harry?” Harry didn't respond; he had his eyes fixed on something behind Tonks. He looked angry. Furious. Curious, Tonks turned around and saw a couple near the bar’s balcony. They were talking with the bartender. The young man was behind the girl, holding her waist. They looked… intimate. “Shit,” was all what she said. “I don't fucking believe in it,” Harry shouted angrily. “Harry, you're on duty. We have a mission.” “Fuck the mission!” he cried and walked towards the couple. “Double shit. Kingsley is going to kill me.” ~*~*~*~ **The** **Party** Ginny found Luna talking animatedly with a guy she didn't know. The redheaded girl came near her and whispered into the blonde’s ear, “I need to talk with you right now. It's urgent!” Luna was about to tell her that she was busy, but the look on Ginny’s face told her it really was something serious. She excused herself and went to talk with Ginny. “What happened, Ginny?” “Ron. Ron happened. Did you see him?” “No. Why?” “The bastard was snogging Lavender Brown!” The dreamy look left Luna’s eyes. “What?” “You know when I went to the branch to interview McCormack?” Luna nodded. “So, I was interviewing her when I saw them. I can't believe it! The bastard! I couldn’t watch them the whole time, though, so when McCormack left, I looked again, but they had already gone! However, I don't believe they saw me.” “So you don't know where they are now?” Before Ginny could say anything, a very familiar and snobbish voice spoke behind them, “Weasel already left the party.” They turned around and saw Draco. He smirked. “He must be fucking Brown by now.” ~*~*~*~ **The** **Club** Harry put a hand on the young man’s shoulder. The man started, and he and the girl turned around. They froze. “H-Harry?” the girl sputtered, her voice trembling. “Experimenting a new spell, are you? Terry…” Harry paused and then looked directly into the girl’s eyes. “…Hermione.” ~*~*~*~ **Potters Residence,** **London** **December 1979** “So, James, how was the Ministry today?” Lily asked, pretending to act casual. “Busy, as always,” James replied between bites, not looking at his wife. He hated to have to lie to Lily, but he couldn't tell her that he hadn’t gone to work that day… that, instead, he had gone to visit Mary and Hermione. Lily took a deep breath. She couldn't take anymore. She was tired of all the lies, so much pretending. She had just stood up from the dinner table when she felt a strong pain in her lower stomach. She grabbed her belly with her both hands and cried out in pain. James rapidly stood up from his seat and ran towards his wife, concern written all over his face. “Lily? Honey, are you are alright?” he asked worriedly, helping her sit down. However, she pushed him away. “Get your hands off me!” she cried angrily. He stared at her. “I'm so tired of you, James! Of all your lies!” she shouted, trying to forget the pain, as angry tears fell from her eyes. “I can't take it anymore!” “Lily, I don't know-” “James? Lily?” a voice interrupted James. He looked at the fireplace and saw Sirius’ head. “James, my friend, I want-” Sirius was saying when he noticed that something was not right. “Is everything okay?” “Not now, Sirius,” James said seriously. Sirius nodded in understanding. He was about to leave when Lily called his name. “Yes, Lil?” “May I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Did you see James at the Ministry today?” Sirius froze, and then looked nervously at James. “Sirius, did you?” she insisted. “Er…” James sighed, closing his eyes. Lily lifted herself from the chair, looked at James and slapped him across the face. “You bastard!” “Lily, it isn't-” “I don't need to hear any-” Suddenly, the pain became stronger and, before she knew it, everything went black. ********************************* 7. Half Truths -------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret.** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Thanks to Anne Pendragon for the first look and Michelle Moonshine for the beta! **Chapter 07: Half Truths** Hermione and Terry stared at him. “What?” Harry asked sarcastically. “Don’t you know what to say?” “Harry, let’s go.” Tonks grabbed his arm. She looked at Hermione and their eyes found each other. She could see despair in them. The young Auror shook her head lightly. Harry shoved Tonks’ hand away from him. “No, I want to hear about this *spell*.” Terry took a deep breath, put his arm around Hermione’s waist, and said firmly, “We don’t need to start a scene here, Harry.” He knew that the bartender was watching the exchange attentively. Harry snorted, “And to think that I felt sorry for you, Hermione.” He laughed dryly. “What an idiot I was! Did you know that I was angry with Ron? And here you are-” He looked depreciatively at Terry. “…with *him.”* His eyes began to wander over her body. She was wearing a strapless top; very tighten pants and high heals. He knew she was dangerously sexy. His heart pounded in his chest, alternating between anger, disbelief and desire. Harry didn't know if he wanted to slap her or snog her senseless. He shook his head. “You look like a-” “Don’t say anything you might regret later, Harry,” Tonks warned him. Harry looked at Terry, and then at Hermione. “Let’s go, Tonks. We have work to do, after all.” “Harry,” Hermione said tentatively, “I-” He held up a hand, making her stop. “Don’t say anything. Right now, you’re just making me sick,” he said, before walking away. The young witch wanted to cry. He had never spoken to her like that, with so much anger, hate. If she could only scream out the truth to him! Merlin, she still could feel the weight of his stare; his piercing eyes wandering over her body. She felt naked, dirty. Hermione took a deep breath, and then looked at Terry. He wrapped his arms around her, and whispered into her ear, “I’m really sorry Hermione, but you know that we can’t say anything.” He nuzzled against her hair. “ Pierre is watching. We must be careful.” Hermione let out a loud moan, and whispered back, “So let’s finish this as fast as we can.” “You’re so sexy today, my girl,” Terry said, loud enough for Pierre, the bartender, to hear. “You make me think and want *dirty* things.” “Are you hungry?” she purred, grabbing his bum. “If we weren’t in public, I would *do* you right now,” he said slyly. She looked at him, licking her lips. “Er, excuse me,” Pierre interrupted them, “but I couldn’t help but notice that you two need a more private place to… *talk”* Hermione and Terry looked at each other, and then at Pierre. “Yeah, that would be nice.” “Well, we have a place where you can *talk* more privately.” The man fixed his gaze on Terry. “But it will cost you, of course.” “Money won’t be a problem.” Pierre nodded. “Very well, if you could follow me to my office,” he said, indicating a door behind him. “Sure,” Terry said. He and Hermione knew that Pierre was everything but an ordinary bartender. ~*~*~*~ **Pierre****’s office** “Well, let’s talk about business,” Pierre said, unceremoniously. His previously friendly voice was gone. He looked serious and somehow dangerous. “I have been noticed that you two have been frequenting my club for a while. You two seem very, er, open to…*new things.* I like it. It’s good for the business.” He paused a second and then continued, “I have to confess that I was a little worried when those two Aurors talked to you.” Hermione and Terry remained silent. “But,” he continued, “I was glad to see how well you dealt with the situation.” He smirked. “Not everyone can understand our *needs.*” He laughed loudly, showing his yellow rotten teeth. Hermione felt an urge to vomit. “Back to the business…you said money wouldn’t be a problem-” “That’s right,” Terry confirmed. “It’s twenty galleons.” Terry did his best to not look shocked. *Twenty galleons! Bloody Hell!* “And with ten more, you two can make use of ours *products*.” He paused for a minute before continuing, “Are we alright or is the price too high?” “No, the price is fine,” said Terry, as he took the money from his pocket and gave it to Pierre. After verifying if the amount of gold was correct, Pierre looked back at them. “Very well.” He then went to his desk, and took something from a drawer. It was a feather, a red feather. “Here it is,” he said giving the feather to Terry. The former Ravenclaw looked at the man strangely. “A-A Portkey?” Hermione blurted out. It was the first time she had spoken since they had entered Pierre’s office. “Of course, my sweetheart.” Pierre’s gaze bored into her. “Is there a problem?” “No, of course not,” Terry spoke quickly for Hermione, grabbing her waist, “My honey was just surprised. And to tell you the truth, I was surprised myself. I thought you would give us the address and we would Apparate there.” Pierre shook his head. “Oh no, there’s no way to Apparate or Disapparate.” Hermione felt Terry tightening his grip. "And we wouldn’t want the Ministry to know about where we are, right? Tst, tst, tst… The Ministry is so… mmn… antiquated, don’t you think?" He clasped his hands together. "But why are we here talking about this? I’m sure you two are eager to have fun. Go, take the Portkey.” He looked at them. "I’m sure it will be a night you won’t forget." Trying hard to hide their nervousness, Terry and Hermione took the feather, and almost instantly, they felt the familiar tug in their stomachs. A few seconds later, they found themselves to be in a dark room. "Where-” Hermione was asking when a strange voice interrupted her. "Show the feather," the voice said and Terry raised the feather into the air. Then, a door magically appeared. "Do we open it?" Hermione whispered. She didn’t like this. "What other options do we have?" Terry mumbled, before opening the door. ~*~*~*~ **December 1979** **St.** **Mungo’s** **The** **waiting room** “James,” Sirius spoke after some time. He and James were waiting for news about Lily. James had originally insisted on stay with his wife while she was being examined, but the Healer pointedly told him that he should wait outside the room. “Yes, Sirius?” James asked, absently. The only thing he wanted was to know was what was wrong with Lily. He couldn’t bear to think that he might lose her. “I know it isn’t my place to ask, and I don’t want to interfere in your private life but-” Sirius shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “Are you cheating on Lily, James?” James stared at Sirius, shocked. “W-What?” “Are you cheating on Lily?” “Of course not!” James hissed in outrage. “James, you have been missing work for a while, and based on what I saw today, I know you aren’t spending this time at home.” Sirius bit his bottom lip. “Lily is a wonderful person. Be sure about what you are doing.” “I’m not cheating on her, Sirius!” James took a deep breath. “You know how much I love her…you know what I did to be with her. I changed myself to be with her…” He closed his eyes briefly, and then opened them again. “I’m not cheating on Lily. It’s just….I have some issues I need to resolve and-” “Mr. Potter,” a voice interrupted his explanation. James looked up and saw Lily’s Healer. “Your wife has woken up.” James and Sirius stood up immediately. “How is she? What’s wrong with her? What happened?” James asked hurriedly. “I want to see her!” “Calm down, Mr. Potter,” the Healer said. “Your wife is fine, nothing to worry about. However I would like to speak with you in particular, if you don’t mind.” “Of course,” James promptly replied, and then looked at Sirius. “Mate-” “James, I’m going home,” Sirius said, “if you need anything, just Floo. Give Lily a hug for me.” He paused a moment, and then continued, “We can finish our talk later.” James nodded. “Thanks, Sirius.” “See you, James,” Sirius said, and left. “Now, are you going to tell me what’s wrong with my wife?” James inquired. “Like I said, there is nothing wrong with Mrs. Potter,” the Healer calmly replied. “However, her stress levels are a little too high. The same can be said about her blood pressure. And with her condition-” “Whoa, whoa!” James made her stop. “What *condition?”* “Your wife is pregnant, Mr. Potter.” James simply stared at her. “W-What did you say?” “Your wife is pregnant,” the Healer replied, but then suddenly realised something, “Oh, you didn’t know. I’m really sorry for spoiling the surprise.” James nodded absently, a goofy smile forming on his face. “How long?” “Almost seven weeks, Mr. Potter.” “Mmnn, it must have happened on Halloween Eve,” James muttered to himself. “I knew I liked Halloween for a reason.” The Healer cleared her throat. “I would like to speak with you about your wife’s health.” “Of course,” James sobered, shaking his head. “Is there something wrong with the pregnancy? You said something about stress.” “Yes, you see, Mr. Potter, you wife seems a little too tense and it isn’t good for her and the baby. Her stress levels are really high and it may cause problems like the faint today.” “And what can I do to help?” “You must help her to control her stress. Muggleborn’s pregnancies are never easy. Your wife is a witch but her body is still Muggle. The baby’s magic can bring her a little discomfort. Nothing serious, but it would be wise to take that into consideration.” “I understand,” he said, “But what can I do for her?” “Be supportive, don’t let her suffer strong emotions or shocking surprises, for example. The most important thing is, your wife must stay calm and relaxed. Then, everything will be alright.” “I will do my best, Ma’am,” James said. “Now, can I see her?” ~*~*~*~ **Lily’s room** When Lily saw James entering the room, she looked away. He pretended not to notice it and walked towards her bed. “Lily, love,” he said as he sat by her side, taking her hand. “Why didn't you tell me?” Still looking away, Lily let out a sob. “Please, love, look at me,” James pleaded, gently. “Look at me, sweetheart.” She looked at him, teary eyed. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asked again. “I was… I am so angry with you James,” she sobbed quietly. “Lily-” “You are always late…always tired a-and distant and I know you aren't going to work.” The tears began to fall uncontrollably. “P-Please, James-” “Lily,” he whispered, as he wiped her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “I am not cheating on you. I swear to God…I’m not cheating. I would never…I love you so much….” “So, what’s wrong, James? Please, tell me what’s wrong.” James stood up from the bed and walked towards the window, his hands on his pockets, and his back to Lily. He took a deep breath before facing her again. “It’s Mary.” “I don’t understand.” “I’m seeing Mary Adams… but not in the way you’re thinking!” he added quickly. Lily did not reply; she really didn't know what to say. “After Jane’s death… After Jane’s death things haven’t being easy for Mary. She was afraid and-” “Has something happened to her?” Lily finally spoke, her tone of voice worried and shocked. “No,” he lied. “However, she moved from London. I helped her with the new house and-” James sighed deeply. “I feel I have a debt with her, you know. It was me who brought Jane to the Order and-” “Jane’s death wasn't your fault, James,” Lily said firmly, “But why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell-” “You can’t tell him, Lil.” “But James-” “Promise me, Lily. She doesn’t want him to know. It’s her will.” “Okay, James. I won’t tell anybody. However, I think he should know. They love each other.” “No, Lily,” James said decisively, and Lily knew it was the end of the subject. Lily’s heart was not so heavy anymore; the pain in her chest had gone away. She knew that James was telling the truth. James had never being able to lie to her. He used to say that it was the same with his mum and dad. Maybe the Potter men didn’t know how to lie to the women they loved. However, if Lily knew that James hadn’t lied to her, she also knew he hadn’t told her the whole truth. There was something else and she would find out what. “But tell me about this little one,” James said, touching her belly, his eyes shining. “I’m going to be a daddy!” She smiled at him. “Yes, Mr. Potter, you’re going to be a dad.” She put a hand on his face. “I’m so happy.” “Me too, sweetheart. You just make me the happiest man alive,” he replied, “but Lil…the Healer also talked to me about your health, she said that you need to control your stress.” “Yes, I know.” Lily sighed. “I’ll take care of myself, and this little one, love.” “And you know what this means, don’t you?” James looked directly into her eyes. “No more Order business.” “James-” “No, Lily. We managed to fight Voldemort three times and get away alive. I don’t want to risk it again. You and our baby are more important than any war.” Lily nodded, laughing lightly. “I love you, Mr. Potter.” “I love you, Mrs. Potter.” Yes, things were finally well in the Potter family. ~*~*~*~ **September 2000** **The** **Leaky Cauldron,** **London** “Harry, don’t you think you are drinking a little too much?” Tonks said slowly, trying to make Harry stop drinking. “I think it would be better if you stop for now.” “No!” Harry slammed his fist onto the table, making Tonks start. “We already got the bad guy. Now I want to driiink. Another bottle, Tom!” “Mr. Potter, I don’t think-” “I’m THE bloody Harry Potter! I saved your arse; I saved everybody’s arses in the fucking war! I want another drink!” Harry cried groggily. “And don’t worry, I have the money!” He took out a fairly large amount of gold, and spread it out on the table. Tom shook his head sadly, before placing another bottle of Firewhisky on the table. “Harry-” Tonks tried again. “D-Did you see her clothes?” Harry’s eyes were filled with sadness. “S-She never wore anything like that-” he stared at his drink. “She’s gorgeous.” “Harry, what you saw-” Harry looked up at Tonks. “She’s having an affair with Boot!” He shook his head. “She’s having an affair with Boot,” his voice was a pained whisper. “Do you think she sleeps with him?” “Harry, sometimes, things aren’t what they seem…” The young wizard didn’t seem to have heard her. “But she would have told me if she does.” He took a swig of his Firewhisky. “She tells me everything, you know? And I tell her everything. We’re best friends.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Friends… but she didn’t tell me about Boot. D-Do you think she loves him?” “I think it’s time to stop!” Tonks said firmly. “You are too old for been babysat!” She took the drink from Harry’s hands. “Hey!” he cried, indignantly. “Harry, I really sorry about this but it’s for your own good.” Tonks raised her wand and cried, “*Stupefy*!” And Harry slumped against the table. “What did you do?!” Tom exclaimed in shock. “I had to, Tom,” Tonks replied. “I think this gold pays what he consummated,” she said looking at the Galleons on the table. “I’ll Side-Along him.” Tom nodded in understand. “Thanks, Tom, and sorry for everything.” “You’re welcome, Miss Tonks.” The bartender looked sadly at Harry. “Give my best to Mr. Potter when he wakes up.” ~*~*~*~ **Grimmauld Place** “Remus, wake up!” Remus Lupin felt someone shaking him lightly. “I need your help!” He opened his eyes tiredly and saw Tonks. “Tonks?” he mumbled, sleepily. “Get up, Remus!” she insisted again. “It’s Harry!” *Harry.* That was the magic word. “Harry?” Remus promptly stood up. “Has something happened to him?” “Well, nothing serious…” Remus raised an eyebrow at her. “He’s in his old bedroom. Come on, I need your help with something!” Still confused, Remus followed Tonks. ~*~*~*~ **Harry’s old bedroom** “He’s Stupefied,” Remus said, as soon as he saw Harry spread in the bed. “...and smelly-” “I know. It was me.” Remus looked shocked at her. “As you may have noticed...or *smelled*...he has been drinking...a lot. I really had to Stupefy him. Otherwise, I couldn't even manage to Side-Along him here.” Remus nodded, understandably. “But why was he drinking? The mission didn't go well?” “No, the mission went fine.” Tonks sighed. “He saw Hermione and Terry Boot.” “Oh, I see...” Remus said. “How did that happen?” he asked and Tonks told him what had happened. “And I’m guessing that Kingsley didn’t tell you anything about them being there,” Remus spoke after sometime. “No, he didn’t. You know he never does. It's part of their work.” “Yeah.” Remus nodded, and looked at Harry. “And what about Harry? Does he think that Hermione and Boot are lovers?” “I don't know. I am not authorized to say anything to him. I can lose my job if I do. I will talk with Hermione, Boot and Moody tomorrow and find out what they think. Until then, I think it would be best if Harry stays here. This way he won't get the chance to meet Ron and tell him.” “You're right. But why didn't you *Enervate* him yet? You don’t need help with that, do you?” “Of course not! But I need you to change his clothes before I *Enervate* him.” Remus looked at her in question. “He can’t sleep with these Auror robes and I know he will be embarrassed if he finds out that *I* changed him.” The werewolf seemed to have not understood her point. “Merlin, Remus! I’m a woman! He’ll feel embarrassed if he knows that I saw him naked!” “Oh Right!” Remus finally understood. “So let me change him. I know he left some old clothes here...” He went to the wardrobe and opened it. Tonks smiled, shaking her head before leaving, and closing the door behind her. *A few minutes later...* “Calm down, Harry!” Tonks heard Remus cried through the door. “*Expelliarmus!* *Accio Harry’s wand!”* Tonks quickly opened the door, and saw Remus holding two wands. Harry, still visibly drunk, was looking at him with both surprise and anger. “I *Enervated* him,” Remus simply said to Tonks, and then turned to Harry. “Sorry, Harry, but I don't think you'll need your wand right now!” But Harry wasn't paying attention to Remus; his eyes were now focused on Tonks. “You attacked me!” He pointed a finger at her. “You attacked me!” He began to look around. “Why am I here? Where's my drink?” he demanded. Before Tonks could say anything, Remus shouted angrily, “Stop right there, Harry James!” Harry looked to Remus in surprise; even Tonks seemed a little shocked. She had never seem Remus yelling at Harry before. “You aren't a little boy anymore! It’s not right for you to have such childish behaviour!” Remus turned to Tonks. “Love, there's still a bottle of Dreamless Sleep Potion downstairs. Could you please get it?” Tonks nodded, and left. “You know nothing, Remus!” Harry yelled at his former teacher. “What do you want, Harry? Do you want to throw away two years of training and hard work because of one night?!” “I did my job! We got the suspect!” “That’s not the point! You were still on duty! Nothing justifies getting drunk!” “She’s having an affair with Terry Boot!!” “Is she?” “I saw them! I saw the way they acted together! There's no denying it!” Remus shook his head. “And what if they are having an affair? It’s their life, not yours.” “But Hermione-” “Hermione is an adult, a grown woman. This is *her* life, not yours!” Remus repeated “But!” “*Ron* is her boyfriend, Harry! Not you!” Those words hit Harry very hard, and he let himself fall back on the bed. “I know,” he whispered, looking down at his hands. At that moment, Tonks returned to the room carrying a vial of the Dreamless Sleep Potion. “Here it is,” she said giving the vial to Harry. “Drink it, Harry.” “What is it?” “Dreamless Sleep Potion.” “I don’t want-” Tonks took a deep breath. “I’m really tired, Harry. Drink it.” Like an annoyed little boy, Harry took the vial and drank the potion. Seconds later, he was asleep. “Thank Merlin,” muttered Tonks, as she and Remus took Harry's glasses off and adjusted him on the bed. “What did he say, Remus?” “Nothing important. Just ramblings about Hermione and Terry. Tomorrow I will have a real talk with him. But right now, why don’t we go to bed?” “Wonderful idea, Remus.” Tonks smiled, and they left the bedroom. ~*~*~*~ **The** **next day** Harry Potter woke up feeling terrible. His head seemed about to explode, and the bad taste in his mouth was making him want to throw up. He took a few moments to realise where he was. Slowly, the memories from the night before began to return to him. *Hermione…* How could she? He still couldn’t understand. He couldn’t accept it. Sighing heavily, he took his glasses from the bedside table, stood up from the bed and went to the wardrobe. *‘Thanks Merlin, I have some clothes here,’* he thought, opening it. Harry took out a pair of Muggle jeans, an old T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. “I need a shower,” he murmured. ~*~*~* Even after the long shower, Harry's head was still spinning. He wasn’t sure if it was only because of the hangover or because of the thought of Hermione and Terry having an affair. The images of Hermione wearing those clothes, and Terry’s arms around her waist were almost haunting him. Harry really didn’t know what to do, or to think. Should he tell Ron about what he saw? Hermione would never speak with him again if he did and the thought of Hermione not talking with him made his heart sink even further. Shaking his head slightly, Harry left the bathroom and went downstairs, thinking that, maybe, a strong coffee and some Hangover potion could solve his problems; his physical problems, at least. *~*~*~ Harry was walking towards the kitchen when he heard voices coming from it. It sounded like Remus, Tonks and Kingsley. *‘Kingsley?’* Why was Kingsley there on a Sunday Morning? Did he hear about Harry's behavior the night before? Shit! Trying not to make a noise, the young wizard crept closer to the kitchen's door, trying overheard the conversation. “I already told you… Harry and I only saw them last night in that club,” Tonks was saying. “I realised they might have been on a mission.” *‘A mission?* *What the hell was Tonks talking about?’* “What happened, Kingsley?” Harry heard Remus' voice. “We have a situation.” Silence. “What happened?” Remus asked again. “Longbottom contacted Alastor early this morning.” *‘Longbottom?* *Neville had spoken to Mad-Eye?’* “Granger and Boot were supposed to contact him last night but they never showed up.” “And Susan?” Remus asked. “They didn’t contact her either. Longbottom also went to Boot’s place to see if they were there but there was no one in the apartment.” Silence. “But-” Tonks was saying when Harry heard a familiar sound coming from the fireplace. “Tonks! Lupin! Shacklebolt!” It was Moody. “We found Boot!” “Good-” “It’s bad, Tonks,” Moody's voice interrupted her. “He's in a really bad shape.” His voice was serious and tense. “And Hermione, Alastor?” Remus asked. “She's still missing.” A wave of despair invaded Harry's body. *‘Hermione's missing? And what mission they were talking about? What did Neville and Susan have to do with everything? Hell, what has everybody had been hiding from me?’* “What happened to Hermione?” Harry asked aloud, entering the kitchen. 8. Hit Wizards -------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** **D**isclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. AN: This chapter is almost a *filler* chapter…Obviously I want to get Harry and Hermione together, snogging senseless…but oh well! Don’t you love the *drama*? Oh, and I have half of chapter 09 so…if my headache gives me a break I think I can finish it before next week. I hope. Thanks to Michelle Moonshine for the beta! **Chapter 08: Hit Wizards.** “Harry!” Tonks nearly squealed. Ignoring her, Harry repeated the question, “What happened to Hermione, Alastor?” With both eyes fixed on the young man, Mad-Eye groaned, “Nothing that concerns you, Potter. Now if you excuse us, we're in the middle of a meeting here.” “First of all, this bloody house is mine,” Harry said firmly, and quite angrily, “a*nd* everything that concerns Hermione concerns *me*.” “Harry-” “No, Remus!” Harry held up a hand, making the werewolf stop. “There's something happening here, and I want to know what it is right now! I heard you talking about a mission, and about Neville and Susan. Apparently, something’s happened to Hermione and Boot. What happened to them?” “Potter-” “Kingsley, I know you're my boss, but I need to know what’s going on. Don't make me fight you*.* We both know that I can hurt you *badly.”* “We're wasting time here,” Moody spoke out. “Meet me at Longbottom’s flat. Boot is there now.” His magical eye wandered over the kitchen, before he disappeared within the fireplace’s green flames. *~*~*~* **Lavender's Flat** Ron woke up, noticing a strange weight across his chest. Despite the amount that he had drunk the night before, Ron knew exactly where he was. He knew what he had done. The redhead slowly opened his eyes, and saw a smiling (and naked) Lavender Brown smiling at him. “Good morning, honey,” she greeted him. “Sleep well?” “Yes.” “You don't regret it, do you?” “No, Lav,” he replied, and that wasn't a lie. He liked Hermione a lot, and he knew she was the woman he would marry; the mother of his future children. But he had never felt the way he had the night before. He had never felt so alive, and so happy. He loved Hermione... and Harry too for that matter. Hermione was his girlfriend, and Harry was his best friend in the whole world, and the three had been through a lot together. However, even with the end of the war, Harry and Hermione seemed to have never abandoned the angst aura within them, and as a result, they sometimes made Ron feel like he was suffocating. With Lavender he didn’t feel angst or sadness. He felt normal, desirable, and happy. With her, he was an ordinary twenty old young man, not a bloody war survivor. Of course, he had always thought that his first time would be with Hermione. After all, she was the woman of his life...However, things didn’t go the way they were planned. He had cheated on Hermione. Yes, he had cheated on her, and of course he was feeling bad about it. However, strangely enough, he felt worse about the thought of betraying her as a friend, not as his girlfriend. “Ronald?” Lavender's voice broke Ron's thoughts. “Are you alright?” “Yes, Lav,” he said with a smile. “Just thinking.” “About?” “Hermione.” “Oh,” she said in a flat tone, looking away. Ron put a hand on her chin, making her look at him. “I don’t regret it, Lav. It was wonderful. You were...are...wonderful...” “But?” she asked, with a small voice. “But I'm with Hermione. And I don't want to-” she put a finger on his lips, making him stop. “Shh,” she said, “let's enjoy this moment then, Ronald. Just this moment.” And she kissed him hard on the lips. Ron wrapped his arms around her waist, and prepared himself to take her again. *~*~*~* **Neville's Flat** As soon as Harry, Tonks, Remus and Kingsley entered Neville's flat, Susan Bones greeted them. She looked tired. “Oh, come in. Terry-” She suddenly stopped, looking at Harry. It was as though she had just noticed that he was there. “H-Harry?” she asked confused, looking at the others. Before Harry could say anything, Kingsley spoke, “We'll talk about it later. Where's Boot?” Susan nodded. “He's in the guest room with Neville and Alastor.” She took a deep breath. “We managed to get the bleeding under control but-” She looked apologetically at Kingsley. “We don’t know...” Kingsley gave her a short nod, and he and others made their way to the guestroom. *~*~*~* When they entered the room, Harry’s couldn’t help but stare a glance at the beaten up figure lying on the bed. Terry Boot looked terrible. “On my!” He heard Tonks crying behind him. Oh my, indeed. The former Ravenclaw had bruises all over his body, and his shirtless torso had obvious signs that the *Sectumsempra* had been used on him. “How is he, Neville?” Remus asked. Neville, who’s head had been down, for he was changing some of the bandages on Terry's arm, looked up. “He-” Neville suddenly stopped, noticing Harry. “H-Harry?” Alastor Moody gave an impatient groan, “We'll deal with Potter later.” Harry wanted to protest but decided to remain quiet. He also wanted to know what had happened to Terry and...*Oh God, Hermione!* He felt his chest tighten. Neville nodded, and then spoke, “He was seriously beaten, Remus. Susan and I detected some traces of *Crucio* and *Sectumsempra*.” He bit his lip, looking nervously at the others around him. “What? What is it?” Tonks asked hurriedly. “He took the *Potion*,” Susan spoke for Neville. There was a loud gasp after that. Harry looked around, confused. “What potion?” he asked. “The Potion?” Remus voice interrupted him, as he looked directly at Moody. He emitted an angry groan that made everybody jump. “I can't believe you, Alastor! I told you not to let her take this case! I told you that it was too much of risk!” Alastor Moody remained in silence, both his regular eye and magical eye boring into Remus. “You know what she’s like, Remus,” Susan spoke. “She won’t give up. And we don't know if-” “For Merlin's Sake, Susan!” the werewolf cried, exasperated. “She's missing! If they made Terry drink it...” He stopped, taking a deep breath. “But how is he?” “Alive,” Neville replied, heavily. Harry was somewhat surprised by the tone his former classmate was using. “I believe he...I believe he'll be alright.” He paused a moment, and looked directly into Remus' eyes. “He's a pure blood so...Well, but Susan and I think that it isn't safe to Enervate him. We know that the Potion messes with the magical level so...it's better if he wakes up on his own.” *Wait? But what about Hermione?* “Wait? But what about Hermione?” Remus’ voice echoed Harry’s thoughts exactly. “We can't just *wait.* Alastor-” “We must, Lupin,” Moody said. “We can't risk Granger even more.” “But-” “You know he's right, love,” Tonks said quietly. Remus just nodded. Moody was about to say something else when Harry decided that he had had enough. He had to know what was going on. “That's it! I want explanations right now!” he cried in exasperation. “I want to know what's going on!” The others exchanged looks until Moody began to talk, “Granger and Boot are Hit Wizards, Potter.” Harry let himself fall into an armchair, dumbstruck. “As are Longbottom and Bones.” Harry looked at Neville and Susan; the two of them blushed, and gave him a nervous smile. “B-But how?” Harry managed to ask. “Hermione never said anything.” Alastor Moody groaned impatiently. “That isn't something you spread in the wind, Potter. The only ones who know about this are the people in this room, and the Minister. Nobody else.” “But she could have told me!” “No, she couldn't have, Potter,” Kingsley replied. “Hit wizards can't tell anybody about their real jobs, not even their family.” “But Remus knows!” “He's also working with Granger and Boot-” “But how? He's a Werewolf! I know the Ministry can't hire...” Harry looked apologetically at Remus. “Er, sorry, Remus.” Remus gave him a small smile. “That's alright, Harry. And yes, I can't work at Ministry. But I'm working for Alastor as a ' security source'. Not even the Minister knows about me.” “B-but Moody is retired...” “Boy! Being a Hit wizard isn't something you tell people about,” Moody cried, exasperated. “All Hit Wizards have other professions such as Aurors, Healers-” Harry looked at Susan and Neville, who nodded. “…and so on.” “Right, and you Tonks- are you?” “Oh, no, Kingsley and I only help with the background.” She smiled. “Being a Hit Wizard isn't easy, Harry. It isn't like Aurors that have action practically all the time. Hit Wizards normally spend their time researching and in low profile investigations.” “So, that's why she-” Suddenly Harry felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. Hermione and Terry Boot weren't having an affair. They were working. They were undercover. Harry felt sick as he remembered his reaction. He had been a total ass. Hermione probably hated him. Noticing Harry's demeanor, Remus put a hand on his shoulder. “Don't worry, Harry. Hermione's well aware that you didn't know.” “But-” “Harry, what we need now is to try and find a way to locate Hermione.” Harry nodded, and then finally asked, “What were they doing there?” “There have been some rumors in the underground about a new Potion,” Kingsley started to explain. “A terrible Potion.” “I didn't hear anything about it,” commented Harry. “Of course not,” Moody groaned. “They don't expect that anyone find out about it until-” “Until is too late,” Remus finished for him. Moody gave him a short nod. “But what is this Potion? I assume that Hermione and Terry found out something about it, right?” “Yes,” Kingsley continued, “they found a trail that lead to that club's bartender, Pierre.” “I told her it was too dangerous!” Remus cried nervously, and Harry felt a little uneasy about his former teacher's concern towards his best friend. “You should have sent another agent, Alastor!” “What's done is done, Lupin!” Moody said firmly. “But what if *she* took the potion?” What came after was a tense silence. Harry could see that even Alastor Moody seemed a little uneasy about that possibility. “Er, but what this Potion does? It can't be *that* serious, right?” Harry asked no one in particular. “I mean, Terry is alive...” Tonks bit her lip, taking a deep breath. “This Potion doesn't work properly in people like Terry, Harry.” Harry looked at her quizzically. “Terry is a pure blood. This Potion is meant for Muggleborns,” Tonks explained. The young wizard felt a sense of dread. *Hermione is a Muggleborn.* “W-What does this potion do to Muggleborns, Tonks?” “It reaps off their magic.” Harry gasped in shock. “WHAT?!” “It reaps off their magic,” Tonks repeated. “YOU!” Harry shouted at Mad-Eye, anger boiling inside him. Now he could understand Remus' reaction. “YOU LET HER GO ON THIS MISSION!” “It was her choice, Potter,” was Mad-Eye’s reply. “She knew what she was doing.” “But-” Tonks put a hand on his shoulder. “She knew what she was doing, Harry.” Harry sighed heavily, trying to control his anger and nervousness. “And we'll be here, doing nothing? Why don't we go to that club and talk with this Pierre person...we can *make* him talk.” “And what Potter? Bring more attention to this?!” Kingsley said sternly. “We keep a low profile. I sent some agents to watch the club. We need to wait for Boot.” “But Hermione might have been turned into a Muggle by then!” “She'll be lucky if she’s still alive,” Neville spoke up seriously. Unable to say anything, Harry covered his face with his hands, his body trembling uncontrollably. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't. *~*~*~* **Harry and Ron's apartment** Ron was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a Butterbeer. He had arrived from Lavender's flat thirty minutes ago, and was relieved to see that Harry's bedroom door was closed. That could only mean that his friend was still asleep. ‘*He must have worked all night,*’ Ron thought to himself. Truth be told, he didn't know if he could manage to face Harry right now, and have to lie about why he had just come home at that time. He had so much to think about now. Ron sighed. “Merlin, what am I going to do?” His thoughts were interrupted by an insistent knock on the door. Ron took a deep breath, and went to answer the door. “I am coming! I am coming!” As soon as he opened the door, a very angry, red-faced Ginny Weasley, stepped in. Before he could say anything she asked, “Where's Harry?” “Sleeping, Gin. Now, why don't you-” “Good! Now we are going to have a talk, Mr. Weasley!” “Gin-” “Shut up! Don’t *Gin* me!” she snapped at him, and he looked to her in surprise. ‘*What the bloody hell was that?!’* *“*You and I are going to have a nice talk, Mr. Weasley.” “Gin, I'm really-” “How could you, Ronald Weasley?!” Ginny hissed hatefully. “I thought I knew you better. How could you do something like that?!” Ron looked at his sister in confusion. “I don't know what you are talking about, Ginny!” “Lavender, Ron! You and Lavender! Last night!!” Ronald Weasley immediately turned pale; white as a ghost. “I-I don’t know what are you talking about,” he stammered. Ginny gave a dry laugh. “I saw you, Ron! I saw you and that - that *witch!”* *“*It wasn't-” he tried to explain. “Oh! So, you were just examining her throat!” “You don't understand, Ginny,” Ron said, as he sat down on the couch. “I-I made a mistake.” Ginny sighed, sitting by his side. “Yes, my dear brother, you made a terrible mistake.” She put a hand on his shoulder, and her eyes wandered over his clothes. “You slept with her,” she finally said; her voice didn't sound angry anymore, but… sad. He looked at her in mild surprise. “You are wearing the same robes that you were wearing last night, Ron.” To this, he just nodded. “Sometimes I don't understand you,” she commented, shaking her head. “Sometimes I wonder why you don’t just break up with Hermione.” “Why?! Because I love her!” he cried indignantly. “Do you, Ron? Do you love her? So why did you cheat on her? Why did you treat her so badly?” Seeing that he wouldn’t say anything, she continued, “This is everything but love, Ronald. You don't love Hermione. You don't *respect* Hermione.” “Of course I respect her!” “No, you don't! If you did, you would never have done what you did-” Ron was about to say something, but Ginny cut him off. “I'm not talking about Lavender! I'm talking about the way you treat Hermione! Your constant jealousy, your disdain! Ron! I know that a relationship isn't only about kisses and flowers but you… you are never satisfied! You are never happy and you're making her unhappy too.” She took a deep breath. “You made a mistake, and of course everyone has the right to, but...” She was about to say something but decided against it. “Talk to Hermione, Ron. Tell her.” “I-I can't!” “You know I could just tell her… or Harry.” At Harry's name, Ron felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He knew that if Harry found out about Lavender, he would be a dead man. “But I won't. I'm letting you do it.” “I-I can't,” he repeated, weakly. “I can't lose Hermione!” “You rather lose her as a girlfriend than as a friend, Ron,” Ginny said seriously, standing up. She was on her way to the door, almost opening it, when she turned around, and faced her brother one more time. “Oh, and you better hurry. Malfoy saw you last night,” she said before leaving. Ron buried his head in his hands. “I’m screwed,” he muttered. *~*~*~* **Neville's Flat*** **The** **Living Room*** Harry was sitting alone on the couch, waiting for Terry to wake up. He had never felt so impotent, and so useless. Of course he wanted to search for Hermione right away, but he also knew that Kingsley and the others were right. He couldn't risk her life. Kingsley had said that other agents had gone to the club and found out something more about that Pierre person. The main problem was that no one knew exactly how far Hermione and Terry had gone. *“That's the problem with the Hit Wizards”,* Tonks had said. “*No one knows what they are doing.”* Harry's eyes wandered around the room until his gaze fell on an old photographic. It was a picture of Neville, Luna, Ron, Ginny, Hermione and himself, taken in their fifth year at Hogwarts. With trembling hands, he passed his fingers over Hermione's image. She looked so happy. Merlin, he couldn't lose her. Without her, Harry Potter simply didn't exist. He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he almost had a heart attack when someone, behind him put a hand on his shoulder. “What!” He snapped, turning around quickly. It was Susan. “Oh, hi Susan.” She smiled weakly. “Sorry for that.” “That's okay. I was distracted.” She bit her lip. “Everything's going to be alright, Harry. Hermione is a tough woman.” “Why didn’t she tell me, Susan?” “You know why.” “Yeah, yeah...she couldn't,” he replied bitterly. Susan shook her head. “Not only that. She knew… she knows… that you would be concerned*-”* “Concerned?! Ha!” Harry laughed dryly. “I'm bloody scared *and* furious!” “She knows how you feel about her fighting. She told me about it the day she had told you she wouldn't be doing the Auror training. She said you were-” “Relieved,” Harry finish for her. “Yeah, relieved. I couldn't bear with the thought of her being hurt...I just want her safe, Susan.” “It was her choice, Harry, like me and Neville, and Terry. It was our choice.” She took a deep breath. “It isn't easy being a Hit Wizard… and I'm not just talking about the risks themselves, but the lies, and the cover ups. It isn't easy when you have to lie to the ones you love.” He gave her a short nod. “But this mission was – *is -* too dangerous! Lupin is right! They couldn't risk her like that! What if - what if she took this potion…?” He ran a hand through his hair, panic in his eyes. “Oh god!” “It's a risk,” Susan said honestly, “but we don't have a real proof that the Potion is working properly. It seems that it was still being tested...That’s what Terry and Hermione were trying to find out about.” “B-But there was another case… I mean, another Muggleborn that – that took it?” “Yes, it was when we started the investigations.” “A-And what happened to this person?” asked Harry, dreading the answer. “He didn't lose all his powers.” Harry took a deep breath, relieved. “But his magical level decreased a lot.” Harry was about to say something when Remus showed up. Harry and Susan looked at him. “It's Terry! He’s awake!” OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oh my! What happened to Hermione? Any guess? What do you think? 9. The Red Feather ------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. **This Chapter was edited!** Thanks to Michelle Moonshine for the beta! :) **Chapter 09: The Red Feather.** Harry didn't wait for Remus’ reply; he simply rushed to the guestroom, Remus and Susan trailing behind him. *~*~*~* “H-Hermione,” Terry mumbled. He was leaning against the headboard of the bed, his face pale. “I-I need to get her-” He tried to get up, but Neville stopped him. “Calm down, Terry! You’re too weak!” Terry sighed heavily, but nodded. “Where’s Hermione, Boot?” Harry asked, as soon as he entered the bedroom. “What happened to her?” His voice was low but clear, and even if he his demeanor was calm, his eyes told everyone in the room that he was in despair. Terry Boot looked up at him in surprise. “H-Harry?” he inquired to no one in particular and then looked at Mad-Eye in confusion. The former Auror only nodded his head, “Potter already knows about yours and Granger’s *activity-”* “We are wasting time here!” Harry interrupted Moody. “You said that we needed to wait for Boot’s wake up! Okay…he is awake now! We have to know what happened! Hermione could be-” He stopped unable to complete his sentence. He couldn’t bare to think about it. “Potter is right,” Moody agreed. “What happened, Boot? Where’s Granger?” Terry looked around the room, glancing at the familiar faces. “I-I don’t know where she is,” he said almost in a whisper. “WHAT?!” Harry yelled, and Remus grabbed his arm, keeping him from doing something to Terry. “What do you mean *you don’t know where’s she,* Terry?” the werewolf asked carefully. “What happened?” “I-I’m so confused,” Terry replied, glancing nervously at Harry. “That place with t-the feather…” He stopped suddenly, like he had just remembered something. “What? What is it?” someone asked him, but Terry wasn’t really paying attention. He was trying to take something from his back pocket; a painful task since his whole body was aching. The former Ravenclaw breathed in relief when he finally managed to take out a red feather. He then gave it to Mad-Eye. Confused, to say the least, Mad-Eye took the feather, and then looked inquisitively at Terry. “What the hell is that?” Harry asked, voicing everyone else’s thoughts. “This is where Hermione is,” Terry said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. “B-But this is a *feather!”* Neville blurted out. But before Terry could say anything, Remus seemed to have understood what Terry had meant. “It’s a Portkey,” Remus stated. Terry took a deep breath, closing his eyes, only to open them again a moment later. He then began to tell his tale. *~*~*~* *“What kind of a place is this?” Terry heard Hermione mutter as they walked through the door. They were in a very large saloon with random couches and tables everywhere. The light was dim to the point that they couldn’t see anybody’s face..* *Yes, there were other people there too… couples, even trios… performing acts that Hermione wouldn’t have even imagined were* possible*.* *People were having sex, and they didn’t even seem to be shy or ashamed of it…* *Terry swallowed nervously, and then looked at Hermione. Even in the dark, it was obvious that she was blushing.* *“Her-” he began, when a tall wizard came towards them and interrupted him.* *“Oh, you must be our new* clients*. Pierre informed me about you,” the wizard said, a strange smile playing on his thin lips. “I’m sure you prefer a more reserved room…”* *“That would be good,” Terry said, wrapping his arms around Hermione’s waist. “I’m very possessive of my woman,” he added.* *“Of course, of course…” the man replied absently, his eyes fixed on Hermione. “Have we met before?” he asked her.* *“I don’t think so,” she replied.* *“Very well.* *Now if you would please follow me,” he said as he walked towards a door at the end of the room. Hermione and Terry exchanged glances, but didn’t say anything. They simply followed the man.* *~*~*~* “Y-You and Hermione went to a *Sex House*!” Tonks exclaimed, after having heard Terry’s explanation. He had stopped to drink some water. “Y-Yeah…” he murmured, not looking anyone in the eye. Especially Harry. Harry felt an uneasy sensation in his stomach. *Hermione and Terry in a Sex House…* Oh Merlin, he wanted to throw up! “Of course…” Lupin muttered, almost to himself. “The Red Feather…” The werewolf tapped his forearm. “How could I have forgotten?” “Forgotten? Forgotten what?” Harry asked and to his despair, Lupin blushed. “Er, about the Red Feather…” Lupin glanced nervously at Tonks, who returned his gaze with the arch of an eyebrow. “I know about the Red Feather.” “You know of a SEX HOUSE, Remus?!” Tonks cried madly at him. Despite himself, Neville chuckled. Tonks and Remus looked at him. “Er, sorry guys.” Tonks turned to Remus and repeated, “So, Remus Lupin…do you know of a Sex House?” “Yes…I mean…no!” “Yes or No?” “I know about The Red Feather, but I have never been there. I swear!” he quickly added, after seeing the incredulous looks on everyone’s face. “So, *how* do you know about it?” Tonks insisted. “Sirius and Peter. They told me about this place.” Harry looked surprised at Remus. “Did-Did my dad-” Remus shook his head. “Oh no! Lily would kill him if he did!” Harry gave Remus a small smile, and was about to say something when Moody interrupted, “Well, this conversation is *really* interesting but we need to hear Boot here!” Terry shifted on the bed and continued. *~*~*~* *Terry and Hermione were taken to some kind of Master Suite. It was a big bedroom with a large bed in the middle and some floating candles decorating it.* *They looked at each other nervously, both flushed.* *“Er,” Terry was the first to speak. “I didn’t think it would be like* this…” *“Yeah…” Hermione replied, looking around. Truthfully, she had always been curious to know what these types of places were like, but she would never have thought that she would be here with Terry Boot, of all people.* *“We need to find the main office,” Terry commented as he sat down on the edge of the bed. However, as soon as he touched the bed, it started to moan. He quickly stood up. “Bloody Hell!!”* *Hermione couldn’t help but chuckled. “This is ridiculous!” she said, and then pointed her wand at the bed, crying, “Finite Incantatem!” The bed stopped.* *“Er, thanks,” Terry said, as he glanced suspiciously at the bed. “Should we go now?”* *Hermione shook her head. “No, let’s wait.”* **~*~*~** *They sat down on the bed and began to talk about random things, like family and work.* *“Listen, Hermione, about Potter-”* *“That’s okay, Terry,” she said, a sad smile on her lips.* *“B-But he thinks…”* *She sighed. “I know.”* *Terry took her hands and said softly, “You’re a great girl-” He abruptly stopped as he heard a faint noise coming from outside the room. Without thinking twice, Terry simply grabbed her top, tearing it, and then kissed her intensely on the lips.* *Before Hermione could react in any way, the door opened and the same strange wizard from earlier had stepped in.* *“Oh!” he exclaimed in false surprise.* *“What do you want?!” Terry cried in annoyance. He was holding Hermione against his chest.* *“I’m sorry, sir. I just wanted to see if you needed something.”* *“We need nothing!” Terry cried. “Now, leave!”* *“Of course, sir.* *My apologies,” the man said before leaving.* *As soon as the man left the bedroom, Terry let go of Hermione.* *“What the hell was that!?!” she cried angrily, her arms crossing over her chest, trying to cover her breasts. “You destroyed my top!”* *Red as a tomato, Terry tried to explain, “I-I’m sorry, but I heard something and-and- well…we had to pretend!”* *“Yes, pretend! Not get me naked!” she said, a little calmer. “And you just destroyed it.” She looked hopeless at her top.* *“B-But you can transfigure it, can’t you?”* *“No, this top was made with a special type of fabric. It’s impossible to fix it.”* *“Oh.” Terry bit his lip, trying to think of something. He looked at her, and realised what it was he had to do.* *“Terry! What are you doing?” Hermione inquired, surprised, when he began to take off his own shirt.* *“I’m taking off my shirt,” he replied simply. “You can wear it.” He gave the shirt to Hermione. “*I’ll *be fine without a shirt.”* *She smiled at him, and took the shirt. “Thanks, Terry.”* *~*~*~* “Y-You took off her shirt?!” Harry yelled, not quite believing what he had just heard. “Y-You *kissed* her?!” “I didn’t have a choice, okay?” Terry replied, making an effort to justify his actions. “We had to pretend! That was our task!” “Still!” Harry cried angrily. “Potter,” Moody intervened, “he did the right thing.” Harry huffed, but didn’t comment. He hated Terry Boot! “So, Terry, did you and Hermione leave the room?” Remus asked, changing the subject. “Yes,” he said, “we left the room.” He closed his eyes briefly. “It wasn’t hard to find the office.” “And did you find something?” Kingsley asked. Terry nodded. “Yes, we found a lot of compromising documents and…” He stopped mid-sentence. “And what?!” Harry cried. “And they saw us.” *~*~*~* *“I knew you two were up to something,” a voice spoke from behind them. Terry reached for his wand but the wizard spoke again, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He smirked at them. “Give me your wands!”* *Hermione opened her mouth to say something but the man cut her off. “You better not speak, Hermione Granger.” He smirked as he took Hermione’s and Terry’s wands from them. “Oh, don’t look so surprised!”* *“I’m not surprised,” she said defiantly. “I never intended to hide my name. Everybody knows who I am and where I work.”* *“Oh yes, The Experimental Charms Department…Tst Tst Tst…what are you two? Uncover Aurors?”* *“We are not Aurors!” Terry said.* *“I supposed not,” the man said, “but we’ll find out the truth, won’t we?” He nodded towards the open door. “Let’s get going! I think I know someone who would love to see you, Miss Granger.”* *With no other options left to them, Terry and Hermione did as they were told.* *~*~*~* *“Antonin, here they are,” the wizard said to a man, who had his back to them. The man turned around, and Hermione felt her heart beat increasing when she recognized the man as Antonin Dolohov.* *Dolohov came nearer to her and brushed his fingers over her face. She felt her body trembling against his touch. “Oh, Mudblood… My sweet Mudblood… We finally meet again…”* *Hermione didn’t speak; she simply continued to stare at him.* *“Don’t touch her!” Terry cried.* *Dolohov looked at the young man, and then back at Hermione. “Oh, you are wearing his shirt… Tst Tst Tst… What will Potter think of this?”* *Hermione remained in silence.* *“Oh, I know that Weasley is the boyfriend… But Potter is the lover, isn’t he?” Dolohov grinned before licking her cheek. Hermione thought she was going to throw up, as her body trembled in disgust. “You look good for a Mudblood…” He grabbed her waist, pulling her to him.* *“You!”* *Dolohov cried to the other man. “Take him! I want to talk with Granger… alone.”* *Hermione looked to Terry in horror, tears beginning to fall from her eyes.* *“No!” he cried in despair. “I’ll stay in her place!”* *Dolohov smiled evilly at him and then whispered into his ear, “I’m sorry, but you are not my type*.” *~*~*~* Harry was breathing heavily. “Y-You left her there?!” “I-I didn’t have a choice, okay!” Terry cried desperately. “He said he was going to kill her! I didn’t have a choice!” He buried his head in his hands. “That-That man took me to another room…and…there were other people there…and…” “And what?!” Harry shouted. “And they tortured me! They used the Cruciatus and other curses…I’m sorry!” “What was the last thing you remember?” Kingsley asked. “When they gave me the Potion…” he said. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” “And where is this place?” Harry asked. “I-I don’t know.” Harry began to pace around the bedroom. “I don’t fucking believe it!” “We used a Portkey, okay?! The Red Feather!” Harry turned to Remus. “Remus, you said that Sirius and Wormtail… Did they tell you where …?” Remus shook his head, sadly. “No. But I remember…they mentioned that the place was kind of like the Ministry, you know? It has a fake facade. They told me that, looking from outside, the place looked like an abandoned shed. How they knew that, I really don’t know. They never told me… just like they never told me where it was.” He shook his head. “They only told me that if I saw an abandoned shed with the picture, a drawing, of a red feather…” “W-What did you say?” Harry had stopped pacing, and started to look at Remus strangely. “Did you say something about a picture?” “Yes…they said it had a drawing on-” “On the front door,” Harry completed for him. Everyone looked at Harry. He was smiling. “I know where it is! I know where it is!” “What? How?” someone asked. “It’s in Surrey! Carnation Drive! I remember this place when I was a kid! It’s near Privet Drive! Uncle Vernon always complained about that place!” He looked at Remus. “We can find her, Remus.” *~*~*~* **The Red Feather**** *Carnation Drive, Surrey*** Harry Potter would never be able to retell what had happened that day. It was like a blur in his mind. Only some scenes were clear… they were short and frightening things, simply floating in his mind. He remembered the Aurors… the Hit Wizards… Neville… a fight. He remembered that they had entered the place…but truthfully, he wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around him. He didn’t care about who would die… or live. He just wanted to find Hermione. Hermione… He just wanted to find her. Nothing else mattered. He was looking for her when he heard Neville’s voice crying his name. “Harry! Harry! I found her!” Harry ran to where Neville was. And what he saw made him want to die. Neville was on his knees, covering a naked Hermione with a sheet that he must have conjured. “Oh god! Oh god!” Harry knelt beside them. With trembling hands, he touched Hermione’s bruised face. “Oh, *Mione*...” he sobbed, tears dropping from his eyes. “She’s alive, Harry,” Neville said, “but we need to get her out of here. I-I need to check on her… She’s doing pretty badly…” he almost whispered the last part. “We can’t Apparate her. I will use the Portkey to my flat.” Neville took an old napkin out of his pocket. “Let me hold her…” “No, I-I will hold her…” Harry said, taking Hermione in his arms. She was so small, so fragile. He couldn’t bear to think what might have happened to her ... Oh god…it was too terrible, even to think about. Neville nodded and they touched the Portkey. *~*~*~* **Neville’s Flat** “Oh Merlin!” Susan cried when she saw Neville, Harry and Hermione appearing. “How is she, Nev?” “Not so good,” Neville replied hurriedly. He turned to Harry. “Harry, take her to my bedroom. Susan, I-I think I will need your help.” “Sure! Sure!” she said, indicating the way to Harry. She had noticed that Hermione was only covered by a sheet, but didn’t comment. When they entered Neville’s bedroom, Harry gently placed Hermione on the bed. It was obvious that his hands were trembling. “Guys, now if you’ll excuse me-” Susan was saying but Harry cut her off. “I’m not leaving her!” “First off, Harry, you aren’t a Healer…Second, she isn’t wearing any clothes.” Susan took a deep breath as a single tear dropped from her eye. “I-I need to clean her up, and e-examine her. I-I need to see if she…if she was…was…” Harry held up a hand, making her stop. He didn’t want… didn’t need to hear anything else. “I-I’ll be waiting outside.” Susan just nodded, and then turned to Neville. “When I finish in here…I’ll call you.” Neville nodded, and he and Harry left the bedroom. *~*~*~* “They don’t know you are here.” Neville spoke, breaking the silence. Harry’s head snapped at him. “What? What are talking about?” “Moody, Remus…They don’t know you are here. I mean, *my* part was to find her and bring her here but-” “I don’t care!” Harry cried. “I don’t bloody care. My *life*…” he whispered the last part, wiping away the tears that insisted to fall. “S-She’s supposed to be safe…s-she shouldn’t get hurt…ever…s-she…” He looked Neville in the eye. “Y-You saw her! You saw her, Nev! She was naked…s-she...” “Harry, we *don’t* know what happened…We need to wait for Susan…” “…and this Potion…this Potion you were talking about earlier… W-What if… What if they gave it to her?” “Honestly, we can’t do anything about it but…if she took the Potion…and if the Potion worked…” Neville sighed. “Would you think less of her bec-” “Of course not!” Harry cried indignantly. “I lo-” He suddenly stopped, as he noticed the word he was about to say. *Love.* No, he didn’t mean to say *love* …he had meant to say…*like…* *Yes, like…* Harry looked at Neville, and his former classmate gave him a half smile. “I know, Harry. I know.” *~*~*~* Harry was waiting… Neville had gone to see Terry…Remus and Tonks had arrived, saying that the Aurors and Hit Wizards had managed to arrest several suspects but, unfortunately, Dolohov and Pierre had managed to escape. They also said that- …but Harry wasn’t really listening to them. His mind was somewhere else…his mind was in Neville’s bedroom. He couldn’t even describe what he was feeling; it was a mixture of panic, pain, despair…The images of a bleeding, beaten up, and naked Hermione simply refused to leave his mind. He just had to close his eyes… “Oh god! NEVILLE!” Susan’s desperate voice broke his thoughts. Without thinking twice, he jumped up from the couch, and ran towards the bedroom. Tonks and Remus followed him. *~*~*~* When Harry entered the bedroom, Neville was already there. He and Susan were trying to stabilize Hermione, who was having a seizure. “Oh Merlin! What happened?!” Harry heard Tonks exclaim. He just watched, hopelessly, as Neville and Susan tried to help Hermione. It seemed as though she suffocating. “I don’t know what happened…” Susan was saying as she and Neville muttered Healing spells. “I-I had just examined her…” She looked briefly at Harry. “S-She wasn’t… *abused.*” *‘Thank Merlin.’* “S-She took the Potion but-” There was an audible gasp. “But she didn’t lose her magical abilities…” Susan stopped, and muttered another Healing spell. “I was starting to heal her when-” But then, suddenly, Neville grabbed her arm, making her stop. “What did you say?” “I said that she started to quiver when I cast a…” Susan’s eyes opened wide, she brought a hand to her mouth in horror. “Oh god!” “What?! What’s going on?!” Harry yelled. Neville and Susan exchanged a worried glance before he turned to Harry. “Hermione…s-she is…allergic…” “Allergic? Allergic to what?” “To Magic.” 10. The Muggleborn ------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. Thanks to Michelle Moonshine for the beta! Oh, and last chapter was beta/edited too! **Chapter 10: The Muggleborn** “What to you mean *allergic to magic*?” Harry asked again, his voice trembling. “I don’t know,” Neville explained as he tried to stop the convulsion without magic. “I don’t know. It seems that the Potion worked differently in Hermione.” He took a deep breath, and then looked at Remus. “There’s nothing I can do,” he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “No!” Harry cried in despair. “You *need* to do something. Susan-” He looked pleadingly at the former Hufflepuff. She shook her head. “I don’t know how to stop the convulsion…I can’t use any spells… I’m sorry.” Harry began to pace, his hands running nervously through his hair. “No… No… I can’t watch her die like this… No…” “Neville,” Tonks spoke quietly, her eyes red, “you said… You said that you can’t help her because you can’t use any spells on her, right?” “Yeah…” “Well, what if we take her to a Muggle doctor?” The others looked at her with dumbstruck expressions across their faces. “I mean, a Muggle doctor won’t be able to help what has happened to her because of the Potion but they will be able to help with the convulsion… I think.” “Oh! That sounds like a great idea!” Neville exclaimed. “But…*who?* I don’t know any Muggle Doc…” “But I do!” Remus cried. “I’ll go to his home!” Harry had never felt so relieve. Thank Merlin! There was a chance that she would be alright. “But be quick, Remus!” Neville cried. “She doesn’t have much time!” Remus just nodded and left. *~*~*~* Some time later… “D-don’t you think they are taking too bloody long?” Harry asked Remus, nervousness evident in his voice. He and his former teacher were sitting in the waiting room of a private Muggle clinic. “Susan and Mike are taking care of her, Harry. I trust them,” Remus replied with a small sad smile. Harry just nodded. “Er, Remus, how do you know this Mike person? I mean, he is a Muggle-” “-born. Michael Navy is a Muggleborn,” Remus explained. “I don’t understand. If he is a Wizard, why-” “Why is he working with Muggle medicine?” “Well, yeah.” Remus smiled sadly. “He decided to abandon the Wizard Word.” Not waiting for Harry’s reply, Remus continued, “You see, Mike went to Hogwarts with me, and your parents. He was in Ravenclaw. He was the Ravenclaw Prefect and used to date your mum’s best friend, Jane. Jane Adams.” Harry looked to Remus in surprise. “I have never heard about this Jane.” Sighing deeply, Remus said, “She was murdered by Fenrir a year before you were born.” Remus closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. In his mind’s eye, he could still see Jane’s smile, he could still see Mary… ***~**Flashback*~**** **Kings Cross** **September 1st, 1975** *Fifteen-year-old Remus Lupin had just arrived at King’s Cross Station and was awaiting the arrival of his best friends: James, Sirius, and Peter. He was wondering if he should pass through the wall to Platform 9 ¾ to wait for them there, or if he should simply wait on the Muggle side of the Station. It was then that someone bumped into him. It was a teenaged girl. Her hair was a bit bushy, and her eyes were a beautiful chocolate color.* *Remus was never what people would call a “ladies’ man”, like Sirius was. In fact, he was really shy in the aspect, but now, for the first time in his life, he felt his heart beating a little faster when he looked at the girl before him.* *“Oh! I’m so sorry!” the girl said, blushing.* *Remus was about to open his mouth to respond when he heard a voice behind him.* *“Mary!” He turned around and saw Jane Adams, a Ravenclaw girl, who was the best friend of Lily Evans. She was with her parents, who were Muggles.* *“Jane,” Remus greeted her.* *“Hi, Remus!” she replied with a smile. “What are you doing here alone?”* *“Oh, my dad had to work so I went alone. I’m waiting for the guys,” Remus explained.* *“Oh. Did you see Lily?” Jane inquired.* *“Not yet.”* *“Jane, dear, why don’t you introduce us to your friend?” her father said gently.* *She slapped her own forehead lightly with a hand. “Oh! How silly of me!”* *“Mum, dad, this is Remus Lupin. He’s a fifth year, like me, but he’s in Gryffindor. Remus, these are my mum and dad. Paul and Anne Adams.”* *“Nice to meet you,” they said as each shook hands with Remus.* *“Oh, and of course...this is my baby sister, Mary!” Jane said smiling broadly, indicating Mary.* *Remus turned to Mary, and smiled at her, holding his hand out to her. “Nice to meet you, Mary.”* *She took his hand, and whispered, shyly, “Nice to meet you, Remus.”* ***~*End Flashback*~*** *‘But that was the past,’* Remus thought, shaking his head to rid himself of the memories. “Jane’s death was the last straw for Mike. You see, a few months before her death, his family was tortured and killed by Death Eaters. He was the only one who survived,” Remus explained, looking grim. Harry gasped. “That’s horrible!” he exclaimed. “That’s why he decided to stay away from the Wizarding World.” Harry shook his head, sadly. “I can’t blame him.” “Neither can I,” Remus replied heavily. Harry was about to say something when Dr. Navy and Susan showed up in the room. “How is she? Is she alright?” Harry asked hurriedly, as he stood up from the couch. “I need to see her!” “Calm down, my boy!” Mike Navy said with a tired smile. “Your girlfriend is going to be alright.” Harry felt so happy that he didn’t even try to correct Mike’s mistake. Smiling broadly, he turned to Susan. “Susan?” She nodded. “She’s going be fine, Harry.” “C-Can I see her?” he asked a little shyly, as a result of his original outburst. “Yes, of course,” Dr. Navy said. “She’s sleeping but you can see her.” He turned to Remus. “You can too, Remus.” “Thank you, Mike,” Remus said, and Mike Navy just nodded. *~*~*~* “She’s so pale,” Harry commented to no one in particular as soon as he saw Hermione lying in the clinic’s bed. He walked towards the bed and gently placed his trembling fingers on her cheek. He closed his eyes briefly, opening them again a moment later, as he sighed deeply. “She still has the bruises.” “I can’t use a Healing charm on her,” Mike said, “and that’s exactly that I need to talk to you about.” “What? What is it?” Harry asked a bit frantically and turned to Susan. “Is this… you know...about the *Potion?*” he whispered the last part, a little unsure to how much Dr. Mike Navy could know. “Miss Bones here told me that Hermione was in contact with some kind of deadly Potion. I’m aware of its effects, but fortunately she hasn’t lost her magical abilities. I don’t know why, but that isn’t what concerns me. At least not now,” Mike explained. “What is it, Mike?” Remus asked. “Neville, er… Neville Longbottom, the other Healer, had said that she was allergic to magic,” Remus explained, informing Dr. Navy of what Neville, who had stayed back at his flat with Terry, had said. “Neville? Neville Longbottom?” Mike asked with a smile. “Is he-?” Remus nodded. “Yes, Frank’s son.” “Right,” Mike replied a bit sadly. “Well, as I was saying, she didn’t lose her powers but she has developed some kind of allergy to magic and-” Harry was about to say something but Mike put up a hand to make him stop. “This allergy is temporary; it will only last while she has the Potion in her system. And before you panic, the Potion will leave her body naturally, with time. However-” “Oh thank Merlin!” Harry cried. He couldn’t believe that Hermione was going to be alright. “*However,”* Mike continued, “there is a little *inconvenience.”* “What inconvenience?” Harry asked worriedly. “She can’t be in a magical environment during her healing.” “Oh.” Harry didn’t know exactly what to say. “Well, I think this won’t be a problem,” Remus commented. “She can stay with her parents. They are Muggles and-” “But they live in Winchester!” Harry complained. “It’s… It’s too far…” Mike Navy shook his head, slightly amused at the young man. “Winchester isn’t that far. It’s only fifty-five minutes by train. Muggle train, of course.” “Well, if it is the only way,” Harry replied, defeated. “It’ll be the best thing for her, Harry,” Remus said. “Of course we have to talk to Hermione first, but I think it will be a problem for her. And-” He turned to Mike. “She must go by Muggle transportation, right?” Mike nodded. “Yes, it’s the only way. She will be unable to handle an Apparation or Portkey.” “And Flooing is out of question too. Her parents don’t have a Floo network,” agreed Susan. Harry looked at Hermione and then at the doctor, suddenly remembering something. “Er, Dr. Navy,” he said hesitantly, “they used the Cruciatus on her and-and probably other curses…*I mean-* what-” To everyone’s surprise, Mike gave a hollow laugh. “Well, this is a bit ironic, actually. Yes, she was tortured by the use of Cruciatus. However, it didn’t affect her system.” “What do you mean?” Remus asked. “She didn’t feel the curse? That’s impossible!” Mike shook his head. “No, she *felt* it, unfortunately. However, the traces of the curse, those that normally stay in the system after an attack-” He bit his lip trying to think of an easier way to explain. “What I mean is the Cruciatus didn’t leave any sequels.” “H-How?” Harry asked. “That’s why I said it is ironic. It was this P*otion*. You see, the potion was supposed to reap off the magic, right? Well, it seems, fortunately, that it didn’t work correctly. However, it *did* reap off some of the magic of her body, the magic that didn’t belong to her.” “The curses,” Harry concluded. “Yes, the curses. The Potion killed any trace of magic that wasn’t hers. In truth, the Potion *did* save her life. Otherwise, I’ve no idea how we would heal her without the use of magic.” “Oh,” Harry managed to say. The Potion had been Hermione’s doom and salvation. “Well, if you don’t have any other questions...” said Mike, looking at his wristwatch, and then turned to Remus. “Remus, I really have to go home, my in-laws are coming to dinner. When we arrived, I put some anti-magic wards on the clinic so you don’t need to worry about that.” He then shook his head. “God, twenty years without using a wand… oh well…” He sighed, sobering. “I don’t think that will have to change-” He looked at Hermione. “She might have some nightmares.” “I’ll stay with her, doctor,” said Susan. “I will too,” exclaimed Harry. “Very well. If you need anything, just call me at home.” He took his belongs and was about to leave the room when Harry called. “Sir!” Mike turned around. “Thank you, sir. Thank you for saving her life,” Harry said, his eyes bright. Mike Navy grinned. “You’re welcome, my boy.” He looked again at the witch lying in the bed. “I know what’s like to lose someone you love.” He took a deep breath. “Remus, before I go, may I have a quick word with you?” “Sure.” Remus turned to Susan and Harry. “I’ll be right back.” *~*~*~* Outside the Room “Everything is really okay, right?” Remus asked, concerned. Hermione was a special girl and he cared about her more than he let on to the others. Of course it didn’t mean he had sexual or romantic feelings for her. No, it was simply an urge to *protect* the young brown haired witch; he considered himself to be a bit like an *uncle* to her. “Yes, everything is really okay*,” M*ike Navy said with a tired smile. “This girl… Hermione… She seems to be very special...” “More than you know,” Remus answered with a sigh. “She’s the most brilliant witch I have ever seen.” He paused a second, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I feel like I’m responsible for her, you know? Harry has the Weasleys, *me*, and all of the Wizarding World...What I am trying to say is, that all her family is Muggle and-” Mike put a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I understand,” he said. “You feel like you need to look out for her.” Remus nodded slightly. “She will be fine,” Mike spoke again. “The most important thing now, is for her to stay away from magic for a while. I intend to visit her when she is with her parents, to make sure that everything is fine.” He stopped and bit his lower lip briefly. “I want to talk with you about something else, too, Remus.” Remus looked at his old friend with curiosity. “What is it?” “You know how I left this *magical* a long time ago… I am never really in contact with the Wizarding World anymore. Yes, I have heard about Harry Potter’s triumphs against Voldemort. I may live in the Muggle World, but some things are kind of difficult not to get wind of.” He sighed and then continued, “I’m really sorry that I didn’t contact you after Mary… and then Lily and Ja-” But then Remus held up a hand, making Mike stop speaking. “W-what about Mary?” Remus had always thought that Mary had left the country. James had said so, well not in those many words but... “What about her?” Mike’s eyes saddened. “Oh, I thought you knew.” “Knew? Knew what?” “Mary died, Remus,” he said in a regretful tone. “She died, two years after Jane-” Remus’ body began to shake, and his heart suddenly felt constricted. “What hap- how?” he managed to ask, as he let himself fall into a chair. “I don’t know exactly- but it seems that it was a car accident,” he explained. “Speaking honestly, I just know it because it was in the Obituaries, a Muggle paper in Winchester.” “Winchester?” Remus repeated in a whisper. It was there that he had seen her for the last time. She was with a baby, working as a baby sitter. Mike nodded, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He always thought that Remus had known about Mary. “I am really sorry Remus...I thought- I thought you knew-” Remus smiled weakly. “It’s okay. I-I was just taken by surprise.” He took a deep breath, trying to pull himself together, as he fought the unbelievable urge to cry. “You said earlier that you wanted to talk-” “Oh, yes,” Mike said, still looking at Remus a little sadly. “It’s just, my oldest daughter, Julie, she’s ten years old and I think that next year, she will be receiving her Hogwarts letter.” Remus smiled genuinely. “Oh, has she been showing accidental magic?” “Yeah, it was quite funny actually. She turned the neighbor’s dog pink.” He laughed a little. “Amy, my wife always knew about *my condition*. It was my choice to leave the Wizarding World, but I am not going to keep my daughter from knowing of it.” Remus nodded but didn’t say anything. “That’s why I want to talk with you. Not now, of course. But I want to know everything that had happened all the years I was away.” “Of course, Mike. Let’s just set a date.” Mike looked again at his wristwatch. “Oh bloody hell! I’m really late.” He walked towards the door, and Remus stood up from the chair and followed him. “I’ll try to be back at the end of the day. I’ll tell my secretary to cancel of tomorrow’s patients.” He opened the door, but before stepping out of the clinic, he turned around, reaching out his hand. “It was good to see you again, Remus.” Remus took his hand, shacking it. “Likewise, Mike. And thank you so much for all that you have done.” Mike Navy shook his head lightly. “It was nothing. And tell Harry Potter that his girlfriend will be alright. No need to worry,” he said before leaving. “Oh, Hermione isn’t-” Remus tried to say but Mike was already out of sight. Sighing, Remus Lupin closed the door, wondering how the hell they were going to tell Hermione’s *real* boyfriend, Ron Weasley, about all that had happened. *‘This isn’t going to be pretty.’* ***************************************************************************** Okay...a short and almost *filler* chapter, but I hope you liked it. Next chapter: Harry and Hermione have a *chat...* and Ron... Oh, I am also looking for someone who would like to beta a 2 chapter Fic of mine. It’s a HHr Drama/Angst story. I really need help with the grammar. If you want to take a look: http://sweet-lemmon.livejournal.com/41896.html Thanks! Happy Christmas Day! Happy New Year! 11. something ------------- **Love, Lies, and secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. Your comments mean a lot. RL has been really busy these past weeks so I am really sorry if I didn’t reply to all of you. A huge thank you to Michelle Moonshine for the beta! Chapter 11: something The Burrow September 24, 2000 **Sunday afternoon.** Remus and Harry were standing in front of The Burrow’s kitchen door, neither of them too eager to enter. Remus had said that would be better if Harry was the one to tell Ron about Hermione’s condition, though he would not tell him the entire truth. Harry knew his former Professor was right, but it didn’t make the task any easier. To have to do it at The Burrow made everything even more painful and uncomfortable. It would have been so much easier if it was only the two of them - only Harry and Ron, and not the whole Weasley bloody family! However, Harry knew that as today was Sunday, Ron would be lunching at his parents’ house, and Harry was supposed to be there too. “Come on, Harry,” Remus hushed him, “let’s enter already.” With an annoyed groan, Harry finally opened the door, revealing Remus and himself to the Weasley family. Strangely, he didn’t see Ron there. “Harry dear!” “Love!” Mrs. Weasley and Ginny cried out at the same time, the latter running towards him and hugging him; a hug that was not returned. “Where’s Ron?” he blurted out, releasing himself from his girlfriend, not really caring about the slightly hurt and angry glint in her eyes. “Oh, well…” Mrs. Weasley replied, motioning to Remus and Harry to seat at the kitchen’s table, where Mr. Weasley, Fred and George, Bill and Fleur and their two-year-old son were finishing their meal, “Ronald had to eat early. Apparently there was something big he needed to do at work.” “I flooed you about noon, as you were late for lunch, but it seems you weren’t at home,” Ginny commented a little bitterly. Without a glint of patient, Harry simply said, “That’s because I didn’t sleep there last night.” The room went silent – deathly silent. “What!?” Ginny cried angrily. First Ron, now- *Harry!?* Noticing that the situation needed help urgently, Remus poked in for the first time, “Harry slept at Grimmauld.” “Why?” was Ginny’s reply, her voice slightly harsh. “I slept there because I want to!” Harry practically yelled at his girlfriend. He really wasn’t in any mood for Ginny’s jealousy and childishness. “And besides I don’t have to give you any explanation of my whereabouts!” “I am your girlfriend!” Ginny yelled back, her face red with anger. “Well, we can change that,” Harry replied without even thinking. Ginny’s eyes opened wide in shock, her eyes beginning to get teary. “Harry, Ginevra,” Mr. Weasley spoke calmly but firmly, “*please.”* Harry shifted uncomfortable in his seat, running a hand through his messy dark hair. *Why does Ginny have to be so moody?* “Er, sorry, Gin,” he muttered apologetically, exchanging a look with Remus, who nodded. “It’s just- it’s just that-” “There was an accident,” Remus said, freeing Harry of his misery. “What?” “How?” “Where?” Harry wasn’t quite sure who asked which question. “What happened, Harry?” Bill spoke for all his family. “Well,” he began, taking a little of the food that Mrs. Weasley was offering him. “Thanks, Mrs. Weasley.” He wasn’t hungry, but didn’t have a heart to decline, not after he yelled at her daughter. “As you may know, I worked with Tonks last night. Everything went alright until she and I had to go to Ministry to get some papers-” With the corner of his eye he looked at Remus, who seemed impassive. *Were they buying it?* “A-And-” Remus put a resurgence hand on his shoulder, urging him to go on. “You can trust the Weasleys, Harry.” Harry gave a short nod. “Yeah, mate, whatever you have to say, you can trust us,” George said, earning approving mutters of all his family. Harry looked at him and his twin brother sadly. The war and Lee Jordan’s terrible death had wounded the two of them deeply. Even if there were still running the joke shop and playing pranks, nothing would ever be the same. “I know, and I’m sorry,” Harry apologized. “That’s okay, Harry dear,” Mrs. Weasley replied, “but, what happened?” “To make short a long story, there was an explosion...” “An explosion?” Fred interrupted him. “Shh! Let Harry finish!” Ginny hissed. “Sorry,” Fred muttered. “Go on, Harry.” “Er, okay...there was an explosion in the Experimental Charms Department and- and...” He couldn’t go on, even if it wasn’t the truth, the image of a naked and beaten up Hermione still haunted him. It was her scars, the pale face... “Terry Boot and Hermione were seriously hurt,” Remus spoke for him. “Oh my!” Mrs. Weasley cried, bringing a hand to her mouth; Ginny and Fleur did the same. “But they are alright, right Remus?” Mr. Weasley asked, his voice full of concern. Hermione was like a daughter to him, even if she wasn’t Ron’s girlfriend. Remus nodded gravely. “Yes, they are,” he said. “However, they were trying a new experiment and you know how unknown charms can be nasty.” They all nodded in agreement. “It seems that this *certain* spell they were working on...um, how do I say this? Hermione was more *affected* by it. Somehow the fact of her being a Muggleborn...caused some *outside effects.”* “Which effects?” Mr. Weasley asked. “She is *temporarily* allergic to magic,” Harry said, without looking anyone in the face. “Mon Dieu!” Fleur cried out aloud, and everyone else began to talk at same time. Harry held up a hand, making everyone stop. “As I said before Hermione is *temporarily allergic* to magic. *Therefore,* she’ll need to spend some time out of the Wizarding World, with her parents.” “Oh, well, at least she is out of danger,” Mrs. Weasley said. “Ronald can visit her on-” “No!” Harry cried, and everyone looked to him in surprise. Remus raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Er, he is a Pure-Blood, too much magic. He can’t see her before she is cured.” It was a lie, and Remus knew that very well but didn’t say anything. The old werewolf only wondered... *~*~*~*~* **Hogsmeade** **Unseen’s Bar** Ronald Weasley was sitting alone in the darkest corner of the nearly unknown pub in Hogsmeade, drinking a Firewhisky. He knew it was too early for that, but he really didn’t care. He just wanted to be alone, and The Three Broomsticks and the Leprechaun’s were out of question. He needed to think about a way to get out of the mess he was in. *‘I love Hermione,’* he thought to himself. ‘*I know I love her.’* His thoughts were broken when a pair of soft hands covered his eyes. “Guess who?” asked a voice that he knew very well. Ron took the hands out of his face, before saying with a slight smile, “Hello, Lavender.” Her answer was a kiss on his lips. *~*~*~* The Burrow Harry was finishing his dessert, and desperately wishing to go back to Hermione, just when Ginny put a hand on his left arm. “Harry?” she spoke his name almost shyly, and Harry felt a little sorry for her. He knew she wasn’t being treating well. As a girlfriend, she deserved a lot more. Harry just wondered if *he* could give her *more.* “Yeah, Gin?” He forced a smiled. “Well, how about we take a walk after you finish?” she asked. “It’s a lovely day.” Deep inside he want to say ‘*no, I’m sorry, but I want to be with Hermione’,* but the others, who at the time were purposely looking away from them, reminded him that he couldn’t. And *Ginny* was his girlfriend. *Ginny.* “Of course,” he replied, enforcing a grin, “It would be lovely*.”* “Great!” Ginny said contently, before taking a sip of some of her pumpkin juice. *~*~*~* **October, 1975** **Hogwarts’ grounds** **Near the** **Blake** **Lake** Remus was strolling around the Lake with James, Sirius, and Peter, when he heard someone calling his name. He, and the others, stopped and turned around. “Hey, Remus,” Jane Adams spoke good-naturally, Lily Evans by her side, “My baby sister Mary sent me a letter. She told me that she thinks you are quite charming*.”* Sirius and James began to catcall, while Remus blushed a deep red. “Oh, I think she is very nice too,” he stammered, and Jane and Lily smiled at him. “Oh! Our little Remus may has found himself a girlfriend!” Sirius exclaimed, mimicking a mother’s voice. The girls snorted at him. “You know, I just had an amazing idea!” James proclaimed, and Lily couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Next Holiday we can have a double date!” Jane raised an eyebrow at him. “A double date with w*hom*, James? Can I ask?” “Oh well, a double date with Moony here and your sister, of course.” James smirked at his friend. “*And* Evans and *I!* Two passionate couples! Doesn’t that sound perfect?” “Argh, James Potter!” Lily cried in annoyance. “You are unbelievable!” He grinned. “I know. That’s why you love me so much, my dear!” “I’ll never *ever* date you, did you hear me, Potter?” Lily pointed a finger at him, the color of her face matching that of her hair. “Oh, sweetheart, why keeping denying?” he replied, shaking his head. “We are *bound* to be together. We will have a handsome baby boy...your eyes and my good looks! Doesn’t it sound amazing?” Instead of saying anything, Lily grabbed Jane’s hand and almost dragged her friend away with a huff. “You know, Evans,” James called out aloud after her, “maybe our son will fall in love with Remus and Jane’s sister’s daughter!” *~*~*~*~* **Mike Navy’s clinic, London, England** **September 24, 2000** **Sunday night** It was almost 9:00 pm when Harry (Remus having gone to Grimmauld) finally managed to return to the Muggle clinic. The time spent with Ginny had been *nice* and he felt somewhat guilty and confused, as to why he didn’t feel much when he was kissing his girlfriend. She was nice, pretty, smart… In other words, she was the *perfect* girlfriend. Then why didn’t he feel anything while he was with her? Maybe it was the stress. Maybe. Shaking his head lightly to vanquish those thoughts, Harry opened the clinic’s door to reveal a smiling Neville. “Neville?” he asked in surprise, stepping inside. “What are you doing here? Where’s Susan? Has something happened?” The questions were fast and spoken with worry. “First of all, everything is okay,” Neville reassured him. “I just sent Susan home. She really needed to take a rest.” Harry nodded in understanding. “And - and Hermione?” he asked quietly, his cheeks strangely warm as he spoke his female best friend’s name. Neville smiled broadly. “She’s awake. I-” But Harry had never the change to hear Neville finish his sentence, because he simply ran towards Hermione’s room, leaving a surprised Neville Longbotton behind. *~*~*~* Hermione’s room “Hermione!” Harry exclaimed happily as he opened the door, and walked quickly towards the bed where Hermione was. “Oh Hermione!” He took her in his arms. *God, how she felt perfect in his arms!* “Are you alright?” he asked worriedly, looking over her body, to make sure she was really alright. *God, she still looks so pale...* *so thin…* “I-I fine, Harry,” Hermione answered him with a smile, “Fine as I could be.” “D-Did Neville...?” She nodded. “Yeah, Dr. Navy had been here early. I was told about my condition*.*” She looked away, as an unwelcome tear dropped from her eye. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be going to my parents’ house.” Hermione looked back at him, a shy smile playing on the corner of her lips. “H-Harry? T-Thank you. Thank you for finding me... for saving my life.” Harry took her small hands in his. Since when her hands been so small compared to his? “It was nothing, Hermione.” He caressed her palm. “I would die for you, know that. And - and after my behavior in that club... Oh, god, Hermione I’m really sorry for the way I acted.” *She* pulled a hand out of his and placed it on his cheek, her fingers caressing his cheek lightly. “I understand why you acted that way. You were angry because you thought I was cheating on Ron.” *Oh, Hermione, my anger had nothing to do with Ron...* “I felt hurt, yeah, but I understand.” Harry put a hand over hers, making her fingers to stop. “Then why, Hermione?” he asked in a serious tone, and Hermione blinked in slight surprise. “Why did you lie to me? Why did you lie all these years?” Hermione didn’t say a word. “Come on, Hermione!” he cried in frustration. “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were a Hit Wizard?” “You know why, Harry!” she answered at last. “I couldn’t tell anyone!” Harry stood up from the bed, and began to pace around the room before facing her again. “You know that’s bullshite!” he yelled at her. “I am your best friend- I had the right to know!” Hermione snorted, getting angry herself. “Oh, *poor little Harry Potter!*” she yelled back at him, not caring if the wounds had started to hurt again. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you! I knew how you would react! I knew you would tell me ‘*it’s too dangerous, Hermione’*!” “Yeah! I think it is too dangerous!” he replied, his voice rising. “You don’t need to prove anything to anyone anymore; you know that, don’t you? We aren’t in Hogwarts anymore, Hermione Granger! You won’t receive points for Gryffindor if you get yourself killed!” If there wasn’t so much space between them, and she didn’t feel so tired at that moment, Hermione Granger would have slapped Harry Potter. “I know that school is over, Potter,” she spoke acidly, “and I know I don’t need to need to prove myself to anyone anymore.” She straightened her back against the headboard. “I’m doing this because of myself! Years of my life past while I had been looking after you and Ron... and I never had a chance to look after myself, and to what *I* wanted! It was time to make something by myself, and not because I the Boy-Who-Lived needed my help!” “Hermione...” “I was, and I will be, always by your side. I never doubted you. Not even in our fourth year! Even then, I was by your side! I knew you hadn’t put your name in the Cup!” “Hermione...” he tried again, his voice much softer this time but she didn’t listen to him. “I was always by your side all these years and you never, ever, thanked me. Not even after the Final Battle!” Harry blinked at her in shock. Of course he had thanked her, hadn’t he? If it wasn’t for her he would be as good as dead. “I am not saying that I am only looking for praise, but sometimes it feels good to hear it!” she was fully crying by now, her lips trembling. “The way you looked at me in that club! Sure, I understand why, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. And what really hurts me is to think that you didn’t even stop to think that *maybe* it wasn’t what it looked like! That *maybe* it was an act! I know if it were the other way around, *I* would stop and think! But, you? No! You looked at me like I was unworthy scrum. I-” she stopped as her sobs began to become uncontrollable. Harry watched, his chest tightening, and a horrible in his gut. Unable to say anything, he walked towards the bed and took Hermione in his arms, before kissing her on the lips. +++++ Here it is. Chapter 11. I hope you like it. 12. Confusion ------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. I’m very sorry for the delay...I wasn’t very well and my beta had RL issues. But here it is. I hope you like it. Oh! And thanks to Michelle Moonshine for the beta:) Chapter 12 – Confusion Her lips were soft. Incredibly soft. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his fingers get lost within her soft locks. He had never even allowed himself to *dream* about her like this before; to have any thought towards her that weren’t purely platonic. He slowly parted his lips, daring to taste more of her, and timidly touched her lips with his tongue. His heartbeat became pleasantly faster when, with a small movement of her lips, she allowed him entrance. But as soon as the kiss deepened, Harry felt Hermione pushing him away. “Harry,” she said, the emotions in her eyes looking like something between sadness and confusion, “No.” *Why did I have to kiss her?* Instantly, that previous feelings of passion and excitement suddenly turned into strangled pain in his chest, a desperate desire to obtain the ability to relive that moment. So that this time, he wouldn’t kiss her, and everything would go back to the way it had been. *What have I done?* His eyes bored into hers, begging wordlessly for some kind of forgiveness. His most primitive instincts wanted to kiss her again, to taste her again- to just forget who he was, who *she* was. And for the brief moment, he wished that she wasn’t his friend; that she wasn’t *Ron’s girlfriend.* “Hermione-” “You can’t do this, Harry.” Her voice sounded like a painful whisper. “You can’t.” Harry reached up with his hand to touch her face gently, but Hermione shoved it away. “You should go, Harry,” she whispered. “Please, go.” Merlin, he wanted to wrap his arms around her once again, and whisper into her ear that everything was going to be alright, that nothing would change. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t say anything. Maybe he could tell her that it was a mistake. He could tell her that it was an accident, and that he was sorry. But it would be a lie. He wasn’t sorry. The young man stood up from the bed, and walked towards the door in silence. Before opening the door, Harry turned around and his eyes met Hermione’s once again. “I-I can’t say that I’m sorry… I-it would be a lie,” he said quietly, and then left. And as soon as the door closed, Hermione enfolded her arms around herself, and began to cry uncontrollably. *~*~*~* She didn’t know how much time had passed, when a concerned Neville quietly entered the room. “Hermione?” he asked gently. “Are you alright?” She looked up at him, and shook her head wordlessly. Neville nodded in understanding as he walked towards the bed and sat down on the edge. “Hermione,” he said, taking her hand into his, and squeezing it comfortingly. “I understand that I don’t know you the same way that Harry and Ron do, but I think I could consider myself a friend,” he began. “And you are, Nev. You are a great friend,” she whispered quietly. “So, can you tell me what happened?” he asked. “Harry didn’t look well either.” “He kissed me,” was all that she said, her eyes downcast. Neville looked surprised for a brief moment, but quickly recovered. “I see.” He sighed. “Did you like it?” Hermione’s head snapped at Neville, and she stared at him, a stunned expression upon her face. “I’m with Ron, Neville!” she cried indignantly. “And Harry is dating Ginny!” “I know,” he simply said, “But you didn’t answer the question. Did you like it?” “It doesn’t matter if I liked it or not! I. Am. With. Ron!” She spoke the last sentence slowly, emphasizing each word. “Of course it matters, Hermione!” Neville spoke firmly. “If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be crying! You wouldn’t be feeling so lost!” “But I’m not-” Hermione tried to argue, but Neville cut in. “Harry finally did something *you* wanted to do for a while!” Neville exclaimed. Hermione stubbornly looked away. “I-I don’t know what are talking about, Neville,” she said, though she was unable to keep the slight hesitation from her voice. The former Gryffindor put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently. “For Merlin’s sake, Hermione!” he cried, his voice firm and strong, very different from the way it had been in their days at Hogwarts. “Stop pretending! Stop lying to yourself!” Hermione gawked at him, considerably shocked, but didn’t retaliate. Seeing that she wasn’t going to speak, Neville continued. “When was the last time you were truly happy, Hermione? The last time you laughed, or even smiled?” Hermione was looking at him wide eyed. “I-I-” she stammered, not knowing really what to say. “But I am happy! My work-” “I am not talking about your work and you know it.” He gave her a small smile, though it was a sad one. “I am talking about your *life;* about how you have been neglecting yourself in name of-” He stopped for a moment, trying to find a fitting word or phrase to use in this situation. “-In name of *‘what’s right- what’s supposed to be’.”* Hermione opened her mouth to say something but Neville held up a hand, making her stop. “Please, let me finish,” he said. She nodded in acceptance, though didn’t cease to look as though she wanted to retaliate. “I know that there was always this *thing* about you and Ron. I remember when we were in Hogwarts, and people began to bet about when you two would finally get together, and after Harry started to date Ginny, it got even worse. I remember that dinner at Ron’s parents’ house when Mrs. Weasley commented that soon you all would become a big and happy Weasley family. What she had said had made sense, after all it was what everyone was expecting, but time passed Hermione, and I *know* your feelings towards Ron had changed too, or better, you finally began to realize what your feelings really were.” Hermione let out a small sob. “Every time I see you with him, Hermione, you look like you are trapped, forced in a situation you clearly are barely standing.” “Nev, you are being a little too harsh,” she tried to reason. “Yes, Ron and I bick-” “No! No, Hermione!” He cried. “We- you- aren’t in Hogwarts anymore! We aren’t teenagers anymore. What was just flirting when you were fifteen… now it’s-” He paused in his slight frustration, taking a deep breath. “You are an amazing person, Hermione. I can’t count how many times you’ve made me smile, because of the passion you have for your work, and to learn new things and help others. I’ll probably never have time enough in my life to thank you for everything you did for me, and that’s why I am *begging* you to be happy.” He smiled at her. “This *kiss* may be the best thing that has ever happened to you.” “Best thing?” Hermione interrupted indignantly. “Best thing?!” Neville gazed at her, nodding his head lightly. Hermione couldn’t help but think that he was spending too much time with Luna Lovegood. “Yes, Hermione, the best thing. This kiss has forced to you to face these deep feelings that you are hiding inside.” Hermione looked at him, and the tears began to fall again. “And you know I am not talking about Ron.” *~*~*~* **Grimmauld Place** **The Kitchen** Harry was sitting at the kitchen’s table, absentmindedly drinking a Butterbeer, while his eyes stared blankly at the counter. He didn’t know how much time he had been there, and truly, he didn’t care. He just didn’t want to go home; he simply *couldn’t* face Ron. He wasn’t even sure if he could *ever* face Ron again. Harry had always considered himself a trustworthy friend, a trustworthy man; always thinking about his friends before himself, always trying to do the *right* thing. But now- he didn’t know anymore. “Harry?” Remus’ voice brought Harry back to reality. He looked up at his former teacher. “Are you alright?” asked Remus. “No,” was Harry’s short reply. He lowered his gaze, and then took another sip of his Butterbeer. Shaking his head slightly, Remus took a seat beside Harry. His eyes wandered over Harry’s features for a few seconds, and he could easily see that the young wizard was troubled; it was like a shadow of angst was penetrating his eyes. “Harry,” Remus spoke quietly, touching Harry’s shoulder, “What happened?” Without looking at Remus, Harry replied in an almost inaudible voice, “I kissed her, Remus.” Remus blinked twice not quite understanding what Harry meant. “Um, kissed who? Ginny? But she’s your girlfriend-” he asked, sounding very confused. “Hermione.” Harry looked briefly at Remus before returning his gaze to his Butterbeer. “Oh.” Harry’s head snapped back to Remus, as he stared flabbergasted at his former teacher. “What do mean *oh?*” he asked annoyed. “I kissed Hermione! *Hermione!”* The old Marauder took a deep breath. “What happened?” he asked, and Harry began to tell the story. “...a-and then she told me to leave!” Harry held up his arms into the air. “She just looked at me – and – and -” He stopped. “And what Harry?” “She said I shouldn’t have done that.” He buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply. “Harry, look at me,” Remus’ voice was low but firm. Harry raised his head, and looked at him, his green eyes filled with confusion. “Why did you kiss her?” “I don’t know,” was his honest, though desperate sounding, answer. “What do you think of Hermione?” “She’s my best friend. So, obviously I like her and-” Remus groaned in exasperation. “For Merlin’s sake, Harry! I am asking you what you feel for Hermione! And please don’t give me this bullshit about friendship! That’s not what I am asking you, you know that very well!” “I know, *Lupin*!” Harry spat, slightly angrily. “I know what you asked me! And my answer is- *I don’t know!*” He ran a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t know,” he repeated, this time in a whisper. “It’s just so confused, you know? It’s not that I am in love with her-” At this, Remus smirked knowingly, but didn’t say anything. “I-I don’t know what came over me- I just *needed* to kiss her! I- Argh, Remus! Even before this bloody kiss I couldn’t stop to think about her, and- and-” “And what, Harry?” “And now the only thing I want is to kiss her again!” Harry cried in exasperation. “I know I should think of Ron – Merlin, he’s my best friend and...Ginny...and...I don’t know what to do, Remus.” “Yes, you do know.” Remus looked pointedly at him. “You know very well what you have to do. And you also know this has nothing to do with what happened between you and Hermione.” Harry closed his eyes briefly, opening them again a moment later. “I can’t, Remus.” “No, Harry, you can- and you *have* to!” Remus said firmly. “Of course there will be tears, and broken hearts, but nothing that time won’t heal.” “Remus, the Weasleys-” “The Weasleys are a wonderful family but this is your life, Harry! I’ve seen you with Ginny, and- and all I can see is-” “Friendship,” Harry spoke for him. “I really liked her. Romantically speaking, I mean. Our time together in my sixth year was great, and even when we started to see each other again soon after the Final Battle- but then, I don’t know how to explain it, but...the enchantment of our relationship… it’s just *broken.* I don’t know what happened.” “You grew up, Harry. You started to realise that your infatuation for Ginny was just that- an infatuation. You have to talk to her, Harry. You have to, before your life and hers become miserable because of this. I know you care about her, but that only gives you all the more reasons to be honest – to give her a chance to move on.” Harry nodded; he knew that Remus was right, but that didn’t make anything easier. “As for Hermione,” Remus continued, a small grin on his face, “I can’t say what she’s feeling or thinking, even if I had a guess, but you two also need to talk- and not only about this kiss but *everything* else.” Remus didn’t specify what exactly *everything* meant, but Harry understood. “She probably hates me now,” Harry muttered gloomily. Remus couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “She doesn’t hate you,” he assured the young wizard. “She’s confused for sure, but she could never hate you.” He looked at Harry, and bit his bottom lip lightly. “And today wasn’t the best day to decide to kiss her either.” Harry glared at him. “She’s been through a lot these past hours, and- I think she also needs to take care of some personal issues.” “You know what’s funny, Remus? I am confused as hell, yeah, but I don’t feel sorry. I don’t feel sorry because I know deep inside that I haven’t been thinking of Hermione as only a friend for a while. I tried to deny it, to forget, but- I couldn’t.” He took a sip of his drink. “I also can’t say that I don’t feel a little like a traitor. Ron, after all-” Remus interrupted him. “Sorry, Harry, but Ronald doesn’t deserve her,” he said gravely. “He loves her, Remus.” “Does he?” Remus asked, somewhat rhetorically. “Ron is a good man, a good wizard, but the way he treats Hermione-” He shook his head, grimly. “I have no doubt that he truly cares about her, but love? Love isn’t the way to describe what is between the two of them.” “I know, but she’s still his girlfriend.” “Yes, she is,” Remus agreed, “she is.” *~*~*~* The next day, a bit before 9:00 AM, Harry went to the clinic in hopes of speaking with Hermione before she left to her parents’ house. He knew that the train to Winchester was to leave the Platform at 12:30 PM, which would give him enough time to at least try and explain. However, when he arrived, Harry had the unpleasant surprise of discovering that Hermione had taken an earlier train. On his way back to the Ministry, Harry couldn’t help but think that maybe Remus was wrong. Maybe, Hermione *did* hate him. *********************** 13. Time to ponder ------------------ **Love, Lies, and a secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. A/N: So sorry for the delay. My comp was really wonky. I wasn’t unable to type some letters and my mouse wasn’t working) but here I am with a new chapter. It’s basically a filler chapter but necessary. The POV’s are a little different too. Thanks so much to Michelle Moonshine for being able to ‘translate’ my madness! :) **Chapter 13: Time to Ponder** *This chapter’s events happen within the period of two weeks since the end of the last chapter. Of course it doesn’t count the flashback scene :D* *~*~*~* **London** **1977** Mary and Remus were currently seated on a bench in the park. They had gone there because they wanted to get to know each other better. It was kind of a first date, although neither had specified it as being what it was. “It-It’s a lovely afternoon,” Mary commented quietly without looking at him. She was playing with her own fingers in her lap. “Yeah,” he replied in an equally quiet manner, looking down at his feet. “Mary-” “Remus-” They spoke at same time. “You first.” Again, together. They laughed. “No, it wasn’t anything important,” she said smiling. “What did you want to say?” “Oh...j-just...” *Just that I want to hold your hand and kiss you... “*You’ll be finishing school next year, right?” *Way to go, Lupin! A true Gryffindor!* “Yeah,” she smiled. “Next year… I can barely wait.” “What do you want to do once school is over?” he asked her curiously. “I want to be an architect,” she told him, then pausing. She was unsure if he knew what an architect was. “I don’t if you know-” But Remus shook his head playfully. “I am not a lost cause when it comes to Muggle things, like James, Sirius, and Peter are.” “Oh. Right.” There was a slight awkward pause between them. “Mary-” “Remus-” They laughed nervously, after having spoken simultaneously once again. Then, summoning all his courage, Remus took Mary’s hand gently, and smiling timidly at her, asked, “Can – can I kiss you?” Mary found herself unable to speak, and her heart beating uncontrollably within her chest. She simply nodded, closing her eyes. Remus then leaned in and tenderly touched her lips with his own. It had been her first kiss, and a very pleasant one, at that. *~*~*~* **2000** Lavender Brown gazed sadly at the framed photograph on her dresser. The photo was of Parvati during their sixth year at Hogwarts. She was waving happily at the camera, looking as though she had not a care in the world. “I miss you so much, Pav,” Lavender whispered, wiping a tear away that had trailed down her cheek. “I need you so much.” She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath before opening them again. “Why did you have to go, Pav? Why?” She took her comb from atop the dresser and began to run it through her hair slowly. “I know exactly what you would have said if you’d have been right now. I know. You would have said that I deserve better; that I should get a grip. I *know.* I’ve been telling myself the same things – everyday, every minute. I-I just *can’t*- I can’t, Pav. I love Ron. I love him so much. I-if you were here, I know you would have understood. I know you would have comprehended it.” “I know that’s not the future I pictured for myself, Pav. No, it’s not. But what really remains from the future I once wanted? I am alone. This damn war took everything. It took you away from me,” she spoke the last sentence in a whisper. She then replaced the comb to its place on the dresser, and stared into the mirror. She didn’t feel pretty, or desirable. Not even in the beautiful new dress she was wearing or the fancy make-up. Lavender, most of all, was feeling empty – shallow. “Hermione had an accident, you know?” she continued to talk. “Something to do with her work at Ministry. She and Terry Boot were hurt badly, it seems. But she’s worse. Ronie said she had to go to her parents’ house for the recovery. Something to do with magic – I don’t know. He didn’t tell me.” She paused a moment and look back at Parvati’s photograph. “I don’t hate her, Pav. I don’t. I know I got very angry when they started to date – but I was just a teenager then. Now everything’s different.” She bit her lower lip. “If I thought he loved her...” she paused to take a deep breath. “If I thought he loved her- I would back off. I swear, I would. But he doesn’t love her. I am not saying that he loves me. No. Their relationship looks more like it’s an obligation, Pav. It isn’t love.” She stood up, and adjusted her dress. “I brought this yesterday. Beautiful, huh? I-I brought it in a new store in Hogsmeade. Lots of beautiful clothes there...Y-You would have loved it, Pav. I’m sure you would have.” She paused again and glanced towards the photograph. “Well, I think I-” Just then, Lavender’s monologue was interrupted by the doorbell. “Oh! It’s him!” she cried, taking another look at herself in the mirror. “I have to go!” And she left the bedroom; not noticing that Parvati’s laugh in the photograph had been replaced by a sad smile. *~*~*~* Draco Malfoy sighed as he walked alone through the empty streets of Hogsmeade. It was a cold afternoon, and no one was inclined to stay outdoors, something that Draco was actually grateful for. He wasn’t in the mood for big gatherings, or students’ squeals. Draco just wanted to wander peacefully, silently. He still felt, somehow, out of place – like an intruder into the so-called *Light* side. Unlike the *others*, he didn’t want to fight the Dark Lord and save the Wizard World, or help the Muggleborns. He couldn’t care less about the others, and he *still* thought that the greater part of the Muggleborns were just filthy Mudbloods. Maybe the only exception was Granger. He had to admit – she *was* brilliant. But no, his fight was personal. “I hate you, Lucius,” he whispered angrily to himself, “I hate you for everything you were and everything you’ve done – and I hate you even more for making it so that I am unable to forget.” Draco was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice someone walking in his direction. The collision was inevitable. “What the h-” He suddenly stopped when he realised who the person was. “Weaselette!” He smirked at youngest Weasley. “What a pleasure.” Ginny couldn’t help but snort softly under her breath. “Malfoy.” Draco held up his hands in a mock surrender for a moment, before taking a proper look at her. “Hey! Why the long face?” He leaned closed her and whispered into her ear, “Not happy to see me?” Ginny just stared at him in a ‘*Do you really want me to answer that?*’ fashion. “You know you look very sexy when you look at me that way?” he commented slyly, taking a hold of her arm. The young Weasley wanted to retaliate, but felt herself blushing instead. “Now, Malfoy, let go of my arm so I can go home. I am really tired, and cold.” “Cold?” he whispered. His breath was on her neck just below her earlobe. She could feel the shiver run down her spine. She needed to get out of there. “Dra- Malfoy. I- I-” The young redhead witch was unable to go on as Draco began to place small kisses on her neck. She wanted to scream – to run away, but Ginny found herself unable to do it. It wasn’t in her nature to cheat, though – actually, she was still mad at Ron for what he was doing to Hermione. And she loved *Harry*. Harry. She and Harry were in a relationship. It was a dream that had finally came true. But dreams are too different from reality. She loved Harry, she really did. However, even if she convinced herself that he liked her a lot – she wasn’t sure that he loved *her*. They hardly ever actually kissed, or hugged each other. Ginny sensed that Harry was distant. He never wanted to go out, or si*mply* spend an afternoon with her, holding hands at The Burrow. He always needed to work, or do something. And everything got worse after Hermione’s accident. Harry wasn’t himself anymore. Many times she had caught him trying to say something, but then he wouldn’t. He wasn’t well. And a big part of her knew it had something to do with Hermione. But Ginny didn’t want to think about that. Hermione and Harry. They... No! There was nothing romantic between the two of them. Ginny shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts. “Stop it!” she finally cried to Malfoy, struggling against his grip, and making him let go of her arm. “I hate you!” she hissed before Apparating away. Draco just stood there, in the middle of the street, grinning like a fool. *“Would you mind, Potter, if I did your girlfriend?”* Well, the afternoon wasn’t so bad after all. *~*~*~* Hermione Granger put the Muggle novel she was reading down onto her lap, as she sighed softly. She loved her parents, she loved her Muggle background, and her childhood home, but deep inside, she knew she wasn’t a part of that anymore. She had spent the night after the kiss, and the following talk with Neville, thinking about what she would – should do. One part of her wanted to say that the kiss was nothing, that Neville was utterly wrong – that her relationship with Ron was a good thing. But she knew it would be a lie. She and Ron’s relationship was slowing dying, and they were just too stubborn to admit it. She loved him. She knew she loved him, but perhaps not in the way he deserved, not in the way a woman loved a man. And Harry... Fifteen days had passed since she had left and she still didn’t know what to think. Or maybe she *did* know but was too afraid to admit it to herself. Hermione could still close her eyes and feel his body against hers, his smell, and his taste. She had wondered about it so many times when she was younger and – and the reality was so much better. She had always known that she had a sort of attraction towards her best friend, but she always supposed it to be something harmless, a little consequence of his becoming the handsome man he had become. For a long time, Hermione had prayed for it to be only an attraction. When she had taken the early train on that morning, she knew she was making the right decision. The young witch had been a Gryffindor, and she had never been a person to run away, to hide herself from her problems, but she also knew Harry would be there if she took the next train – and it was too soon to see him. She – they – needed time to themselves. Time to think. But fifteen days passed and she didn’t hear a single word from him, not even to ask how she was doing, or if she was better. Even Ron, poor Ron, had managed to call her, asking if she was fine (actually, he had screamed through the *fellytone**).* Dr. Mike Navy had gone to visit her a couple of times. He had told her that body had expelled almost all of the potion, but she would have to wait until the potion was totally gone from her system before she returned to a Magical Environment. Remus Lupin had also come to visit her. Several times, in fact. Not that she minded. Hermione truly like the old werewolf. Sometimes she felt like they had some sort of connection that was beyond the simple fact that he had been her Professor. He told her all news from the Ministry, and of Tonks and Terry, who thankfully was doing fine. But... Only when she had asked about Harry, Remus purposely changed the subject, simply muttering that the young wizard was fine. “Oh, Harry,” she whispered quietly to herself. “I-” Just then the doorbell rang, breaking her from her musings. “Hermione, dear!” her mother called from the kitchen. “Can you go see who it is?” “Sure, mum!” she called back, standing up from the couch. She walked towards the front door, and without thinking twice, she opened it. “Hello, Hermione,” the person said, a bit nervously. It was Harry. **** AN: I hope you liked it. Oh, just to pimp myself :P I started a new story. If you want to take a look, it’s called ‘Here, There, and Everywhere.’ Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! 14. Sorting some things out --------------------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter A.N: Another chapter. I think it is a little bittersweet, I don't know. Oh, and there is a little surprise in the end. lol. Oh, and again: this story has nothing o do with my other fics. They are all different stories. Thanks Michelle Moonshine for the beta. **Chapter 14: Sorting Some Things Out** *Grangers’ Residence,* *Manchester* *October, 1981* Amanda Granger was just about to serve dinner when the doorbell rang suddenly, but before she could think to answer the door, her husband had already gone to open it. Their two-year-old daughter was behind him, following him slowly. “Hello, May I help you?” she heard her husband asking. However, the answer wasn’t exactly what she was expecting. “H-Hermione?” a young man voice whispered loud enough for her to hear. “Is this Hermione? S-She’s gotten so big.” Walking quickly, Amanda went to the door and picked up her baby, intuitively protecting her from that stranger. “What do you want, sir?” Phillip Granger asked again in a terse tone of voice. “Do I know you?” Still holding the young girl in her arms, Amanda came near to the door to see who it was. The voice’s owner was a young man, probably not older than twenty-one, or twenty-two. He wasn’t very tall and even with the pair of glasses he was wearing and his messy hair, Amanda could see that he was a handsome man. However, what really caught her attention was the toddler he had in his arms. It was an adorable baby boy, who resembled the man greatly. It was, without a doubt, his son. “Baby!” Hermione let out a small cry, pointing a tiny finger at the baby boy. “Yes, sweetie. Baby,” Amanda replied, but did not take her eyes away from the pair in front at her. The young man was smiling sadly at Hermione. “*Well?*” she asked firmly. The young man shook his head, as if he was attempting to return to the present. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said with a smile. “I’m James Potter, and this is my son Harry.” *Potter.* *Potter... Potter was Hermione’s...* Amanda felt as though the air around had become cold, and a feeling of dread filled her body immediately. Phillip moved to stand protectively in front of Amanda and Hermione. “Baby!” Hermione giggled again. “Shh, sweetie,” Amanda whispered quietly to Hermione, who was smiling widely at the boy. “Oh, I see you already know me,” James Potter commented. “What do you want?” Philip asked a little too rudely. “I think we have *nothing-”* But James held up he free hand, making the other man stop speaking. “I don’t want to take Hermione back-” “Oh well, that is good!” Amanda spoke out. “The adoption was entirely legal. She is *our* daughter now. *Our* little girl. We asked t-that old man, Dumbly-something…” “Dumbledore.” “Whatever.” Amanda dismissed it with a wave. “We asked him if the father of the child, Hermione, was sure that he wanted to give her up. He said you were!” “H-He was right,” James replied painfully. “It was the right decision. As much as I love Hermione...after Mary’s death...I couldn’t- I can’t.” He bit his bottom lip. “I-I just came here to see her one last time and – and give her something.” James put a hand into one of his trouser pockets and pulled out a medium sized envelope. “My wife and I, and Harry here, will be away for a while and-” He paused for a moment. “*Anyways,* here it is.” He then gave the envelope to Philip, who took it with a raised eyebrow. “Go on, open it.” Gingerly, Phillip Granger opened the envelope and, after seeing what was inside, looked to James in confusion. “What?” Amanda asked curiously. “What’s inside, Phil?” “Er...” He looked back and forth between his wife and James, who nodded, giving him wordless permission to show the content of the envelope to Amanda. “I-It’s a key, and a photograph.” He reached into the envelope and removed a black and white photograph, a large old key, and two pieces of paper, and proceeded to give them to Amanda. “What is this?” Amanda asked James, looking sorrowfully at the photograph. It was a photo of Hermione, a very small Harry, James, and a young brunette woman. Flipping over the photograph in her hand, Amada read: *‘**September 19, 1980* *– Hermione’s first birthday.* *Hermione, Harry, James, and Mary.* *Harry and Hermione meeting for the first time.* *A happy day.’* Looking at the photograph, Amanda bit back a sob as tears began to fall from her eyes. With trembling hands, she unfolded the first piece of paper. She wasn’t too surprised to find that it was a letter. “*Hermione,* *I really don’t know how to begin, or what to write. What is one supposed to write to a daughter that doesn’t know them – or that doesn’t remember knowing them?* *I was never one to be good with words.* *I just wanted to say that your mum, Mary, and I are very proud of you. And everything we did was for your safety.* *I only wish that I will survive this war, and then, if possible, tell you the whole truth.* *I love you, my daughter.* *Your papa,* *James Potter.* *PS: With this letter I am also giving you a photograph of us, your mum and your brother, Harry. I am also attaching a copy of your birth certificate, attesting that I am your father. The vault, which the key opens, goes by number 415.* *I love you.”* “I-I don’t understand,” Amanda stammered. James smiled sadly. “I don’t know if you intend to tell Hermione she had been adopted b-but, if you do, I think she would like to know who her parents were.” He looked at Hermione and sighed. “T-The key... you’ll understand, in time.” James shifted nervously on his feet before continued, “I have to go. I-It was nice to see her again and-” Amanda grinned sympathetically at him. “We were just about to start dinner, why don’t you and Harry stay?” James smiled widely. “We would love to.” *~*~*~* *Grangers’ Residence,* *Manchester* *October, 2000* “Mum? Mum!” Hermione’s voice brought Amanda Granger back from her daydreaming. “Mum? Are you all right?” “Huh? Oh! Of course, sweetie,” Amanda replied with a forced smiled. Everytime she saw Harry those memories seemed to return to her. And he looked so like his father. Amanda knew that Philip was right when he had told her that they needed to tell Hermione about who her real parents were. But – after so much time had passed, she couldn’t help but feel afraid that Hermione would be angry with them. “Hello, Harry, it’s great to see you,” she greeted Harry, giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek. “How have you been?” “It’s good to see you too, Missus Granger,” he replied with a genuine smile. “I am good. How’re you and Mister Granger?” “We are doing fine, dear, but please – let’s forget these formalities. Amanda and Philip are just fine.” “Okay, Mis- Amanda.” “Good!” “Mum,” Hermione spoke, “Harry and I are going to go for a walk. Do you need anything before we go?” “Oh, no, sweetie,” Amanda answered. “You are really in need of some fresh air, Hermione Granger. Being inside of this house all day reading isn’t healthy!” Hermione rolled her eyes at her mum. “Just try to not stay away for too long after dark. I know, you are an adult but-” “I know, mum.” She gave her mother a kiss on the cheek, and then turned to Harry. “Let’s go, Potter.” “Bye, mi- Amanda.” “See you, Harry.” *~*~*~* “Harry-” “Hermione-” They spoke at same time, as they sat at a table in a Café. “I-” Harry started to speak again, but was interrupted by the waitress. “Would like something?” the young waitress asked – and, in Hermione’s opinion, she was smiling at Harry in a slightly more-than-friendly manner. Before answering, Harry turned to Hermione. “Hermione?” “A diet coke, please,” she said, glaring at the waitress. The young woman nodded and scribbled down the order in her notepad. “What about you, si-” She stopped and let free a giggle. “Oh, you don’t mind if I don’t call you sir, do you? You look so young!” Hermione couldn’t help but snort. *Bitch!* “That’s alright,” he said, grinning. “I want the same for me. Only, not diet.” “Oh, of course, you don’t need anything diet at all!” She flashed him a smile before walking away. “What a bitch!” Hermione hissed. “Did she just call me fat?!” Harry bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling. “She’s just a loser,” he said. “You are beautiful.” He leaned over the table slightly, and took Hermione’s hands into his. Everything he had intended to say was momentarily forgotten, and they stayed that way for what seemed to be forever. Silently, they simply looked at each other, until the waitress returned with their orders. This time, seeing their entangled hands, she didn’t say a word. “Harry.” Hermione was the first to break the silence, letting go off his hand. “We need to talk.” Harry opened his mouth to reply but she cut in before he had a chance to speak. “No, Harry, please, let me speak first.” He nodded and said nothing. She took a sip of her drink and then started to talk. “First I want to apologize for taking the early train that day. I-I should have told you.” “Why did you do it then?” “After everything that had happened just a few hours before-” She looked down at her lap for a moment, before looking up at him once again. “I couldn’t see you. Not so quickly. I needed to be alone, just with myself and my thoughts.” “Do you hate me?” Harry sputtered, a feeling of dread washing over his body. Lupin had been trying to convince him for days that Hermione didn’t hate him, but still… “Hate you? Of course not!” She raised her hand in an attempted to touch his, but paused when she was half way there. She closed her fingers slowly and retrieved her hand into her lap. “On the contrary.” She blushed lightly. “What happened between us… was so intense, at least for me, it was. I needed to sort some things out before talking to you again.” “And did you?” Harry interrupted her. “Did you sort some things out?” She smiled nervously. “Sort of,” she said. “M-my relationship with Ron wasn’t ever easy.” Hermione laughed dryly. “Sometimes I even wondered about how we managed to become friends. We are just so different. And I’m not only talking about the fact that I am a Muggleborn and he knows nothing about Muggles. I am talking about our beliefs. H-he is a great guy but-” She took a deep breath. “In the beginning it just seemed so obvious, you know? The bickering, and the idea of sidekicks who were just meant to be together, and you dating Ginny-” She shrugged. “It was what everyone wanted and expected. Granger and Weasley together. Hermione and Ron, a happy ending. But there weren’t happy endings in this story, Harry. Day by day, Ron and I would become more miserable.” “Hermione-” “Please, Harry, let me finish.” He nodded. “Ron and I would become even more miserable…” she repeated the words she had left off at. “And then you... you kissed me. It made me so angry, so confused, Harry! I-I just wanted to hate you, to hit you... but I couldn’t - I couldn’t, because in reality, I was only angry with myself. I was angry for wanting to have done that before. Angry for not being able to forget my deep, and hidden feelings.” Harry stared at her, his eyes shinning. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He thought for a moment that he had surely heard wrong, but he hadn’t. He had always thought it to be impossible that Hermione would have feelings for him that were beyond friendship, but here she was, saying otherwise. He thought she would hate him after the way he had kissed her. He thought she would never want to speak to him again. That she would simply dismiss him and tell him that what he wanted could never be, because she loved Ron. But here she was, telling him that she and Ron were miserable together, and that she had wanted to kiss him, Harry. That she was angry with herself for not being able to push back her feelings. Her feelings for *him*. **“**I’m confused, Harry,” she continued. “I am really confused about these feelings that I have towards you. I don’t know how to act, what to do. However, I can’t do anything before talking with Ron. I need to speak with him. He deserves it. Even if he sometimes acts like a prat of a boyfriend, he *is* one of my best friends. Until then...” She looked at him, smiling sadly. “I can’t.” Harry nodded, looking down at his untouched drink. “I know,” he said, lifting his gaze to look at her. “I am not someone who finds it easy to talk about my feelings. I just knew that there was something there – something I just didn’t want to see earlier. I don’t know if it’s love, Hermione, I don’t. I just know that it’s something powerful enough to restrain me from sleeping, eating, and thinking properly.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I-I wish I could feel this way about Ginny b-but, I just can’t. She’s such a great girl, though and I feel so bad and...” Hermione got up from her chair and walked towards Harry’s seat, kneeling in front of him, as she placed her hands on his lap. “Talk with her, Harry. She deserves it.” She smiled at him. “Not because of...Talk with her about how you’re feeling. She deserves it,” she repeated. Unable to control himself, Harry cupped Hermione’s cheeks with his hands. “I know,” he whispered looking at her lips, smiling at the flush that came to her cheeks. “Hermione-” he whispered huskily, leaning down closer to her face. “Harry, we can’t-” Hermione replied weakly, but did not move away. “I know,” he whispered regrettably, before his lips descended onto hers nevertheless. He knew that it was wrong in every sense of the word, but they had been so close, and she had wanted it as well. He was simply unable to restrain himself. The kiss started slowly, as if they were attempting to remember the other’s taste. Harry, without breaking the kiss, managed to lift Hermione from the ground and sit her on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her midsection, and held her close. His heart began to beat faster and harder against his ribcage as she began to stroke his hair softly, moaning quietly against his lips. They continued to kiss tenderly, until the lack of oxygen to their brains had begun to become an issue. They parted slightly to catch their breaths, but their lips continued to touch lightly. Harry brushed his fingers lightly over the skin of her face, as he looked from her eyes to her lips. “I-I can’t do this with you. W-We can’t. I-I-” he whispered breathlessly. Hermione laid a finger on his lips. “Shhh,” she whispered, and then leaned into him, resting her head on his chest, as she sighed deeply. They were going to be alright. *~*~*~* **Meanwhile...** *St. Mungo’s,* *London* “No, it can’t be! You’ve got it wrong!” the young woman cried desperately at the Healer. I just came here for my routine exam. I feel nothing! You must have done something wrong!” The Healer shook her head. “No, I did nothing wrong,” she stated calmly. “And you haven’t felt any symptoms yet, because it is too early.” “B-But I-I can’t...This has to be wrong.” “I performed the test three times, Miss Brown. You are pregnant.” *** I hope you liked it! ^.^ Ah, and for those who live in Brazil- or are Brazilians- Happy Discovery’s Day! 15. Shatter to Mingle --------------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. AN. Well, it has been a long time, hasn’t it? I’m sorry for that. However, I have to say it isn’t entirely my fault. First, my beta disappeared (Thank you, marie_granger for betaing this chapter :) then something might have happen here on Portkey because I was unable to login. Very annoying, really. I actually do write fast, but I can’t update without a beta. I need someone VERY good in grammar and who doesn’t take forever to return the chapter to me. I’m looking for a beta for two stories- this one and ‘Here, There, and Everywhere’. It doesn’t need to be the same person. Now, about this chapter, I do hope you enjoy it. :) **Chapter 15: Shatter to Mingle** *The next day* *The Burrow* “Harry!” Ginny cried as she spotted her boyfriend standing in the middle of the living room from the top of the stairs. “You‘re finally here, love!” She run down the stairs and promptly wrapped her arms around his neck, placing small kisses along his jaw line. However, Harry pulled her away from him. “Please, Ginny, no,” he said tersely, “I came here to talk.” He looked at her and clearly saw that her smile was replaced by a frown and her eyes became clouded. *She knows.* “Talk?” she asked quietly, her voice breaking slightly. “Talk about what?” Harry heaved a deep sigh. “Why don’t we take a walk?” he said instead. “We can go to that Café in the village.” “Harry, what’s it? Can’t you just tell me what you want?” she asked, her voice becoming stronger and a little louder too. “It has been a while since you looked at me this way. I’m not stupid, Harry! I don’t need to be treated like a child!” She wiped away angry tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve been thinking a lot, you know? I’d convinced myself that I should fight for you. That we were bound to be together – that any and every obstacle would be nothing seeing that we loved each other! But now...” “Ginny—” “Do you love me, Harry?” she blurted out, looking intensely at his eyes. “Are you in love with me? Like a man should love his girlfriend?” “I-I am sorry,” he said quietly. It wasn’t supposed to be so hard. “You are a great girl, Ginny... I-I just-” Ginny held up a hand, breathing hard. “Stop, Harry,” she said fiercely, “you don’t need to say anything else.” She bit her lips. “You can go, Harry.” “Ginny, this shouldn’t be this way,” he said. “We should talk and-” “And what, Harry?!” she cried angrily. “What are you going to say? That I am a great girl but you don’t love me? That’s nothing wrong with me but the problem is with you?” She shoved off her arms into the air. “Believe me; I don’t want to hear it! So please, just *leave.*” Harry just nodded, giving in. “Okay, if this is the way that you want it. I really think we should talk sooner or later, though.” He turned out on his way to leave The Burrow when he heard Ginny speaking once again. “**Even if I tried** I could never be Hermione, Harry.” Harry stopped on his track and turned around, staring at Ginny, his eyes opened wide. “I’m not stupid, Harry,” Ginny said with a sad smile. “I am not stupid.” Without saying anything else, Ginny leaned towards Harry, cupped his face into her hands and kissed him gently on the lips, before walking away. *** *Ministry of Magic* Harry arrived at the Ministry feeling drained, **but somehow absolved**. It had been the best that it was *Ginny* the one who actually initiated the break-up. He knew she needed that; **it** was like- in this way she would have a- false, for sure, assurance that she still had some control in their relationship. In other words, it was a matter of pride. Before everyone else’s eyes, he would be the damped one, not her**.** That also helped him to placate his own fears of hurting her. And he knew he had hurt her. However, this was for the best, and it was the right time. No, not the right time; he had waited too long. But now – he knew – he *knew* things would get better. He was purposefully not thinking about Ron. Still, there was just one thing, one little detail about Ginny’s words that, now, seemed to gnaw at him. It was the way Ginny had mentioned Hermione. No, he wasn’t foolish enough to think that Ginny had never realized his true feelings towards his best friend. Ginny was an intelligent girl; neverless, it seemed there was something else. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. It was like something was missing – like he was half expecting some sort of cruel words, or slight towards the brown-haired witch. But there had been no such thing, and this made Harry wonder. Ginny was one of the most enthusiastic supporters of Hermione and Ron’s relationship. Harry’s thoughts were interrupted by horrible screams coming from the end of the hall. Instinctually he raised his wand and walked faster in the direction of the noise. A young woman was crying desperately, pleading with an impassive Dolores Umbridge. Even without knowing the reason, Harry felt a strange feeling low in his stomach. There were several people watching the tableau, and all of them seemed to have sorrowful but resigned expressions on their features. Harry turned his head and his eyes meet Mr. Weasley. The older man had such a distraught expression that was almost disturbing. “Mister Weasley?” he asked quietly, and the older Weasley turned his head at him. “Oh, James,” Arthur Weasley spoke in a quiet tone. “Er, Mister Weasley?” Arthur shook as he brought himself back to the present. “Oh, sorry, Harry,” he replied with a sad smile. “It’s just – the same thing happened about twenty years ago.” He shook his head briefly. “I had hoped never to see such things again.” “W-What’s happening?” “Dolores has condemned this woman’s child to the veil.” Harry felt a lump in his throat**.** *Sirius.* “W-Why? What did she do?” he managed to ask. “Her daughter, it seems,” Arthur replied sorrowfully. “The infant’s great crime was to be born.” “I don’t understand.” “The child’s father is a werewolf, Harry.” He gazed at Harry meaningfully. “You know the law, Umbridge’s law regarding werewolves?” Of course Harry knew the law. *~* *1999* *Grimmauld Place* Harry and Hermione were sitting alone in the living room, or rather, *practically* alone. Remus and Tonks were upstairs, doing *Merlin only knows what.* “You know, I really don’t understand why they don’t get married already!” Harry commented, shaking lightly his head. “Oh, Harry.” Hermione laughed briefly, but it didn’t search her eyes. “They *can’t.* You know that. The law; have you forgotten about Umbridge’s law?” First, Harry looked at her confusedly, but then came the realization. The law. That ridiculously prejudiced law. “I’d forgotten about that stupid law for a second,” he admitted, “but, they could have a child. I don’t think people – well people whose opinion really mattered – would mind if Tonks get pregnant, even if they aren’t married.” *And Remus truly deserves a happy family.* Hermione shook her head sadly at him. “Oh, Harry,” she whispered quietly, “they can’t. The law doesn’t only forbid the marriage of a werewolf, but also states that is forbidden for a werewolf to – to *procreate.*” Harry stared at her blankly. Yes, he knew that werewolves had a lot of *restrictions,* but *that...* “But what if Tonks gets pregnant anyway, huh?” He was almost daring fate to spite Umbridge. “T-They, the Ministry... t-that horrible woman would take the child and–” She stopped as unwelcome tears began to fall. Harry looked slightly alarmed at the girl. He went towards her and wrapped her in a tight embrace. “Oh, Hermione,” he whispered in her hair, “I’m sorry if I made you cry.” Still in his arms, Hermione looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. “I don’t know – it -it’s just this *law.* I always get so sad and angry when I think about it.” He wiped her tears with the thumb of his fingers. “Th-They kill the child, Harry.” “W-What?” *No, he must have heard wrong.* “You heard correctly,” she said as if she could hear his thoughts. “They kill the child. They throw the child through the veil.” Harry couldn’t believe on what he was hearing. That was so cruel, so-- he couldn’t even think of words vulgar enough to describe it. ** “Potter?” a voice snapped Harry back to the present. The screams had stopped and the hysterical mother wasn’t there anymore. Harry wondered what would happen to her. He knew she and the child’s father would be suffering a process, but he wasn’t aware what would be consequences. Azkaban? Death? Harry didn’t know, but he doubted that it really matters anyway. That woman’s life had probably ended in the same moment her child was killed. Harry shook his head, taking a deep breath. “Potter!” he heard someone calling. He turned toward the voice and saw Auror Phillips. “Potter, Shacklebolt is asking to see you.” Harry nodded. “Thank you, Phillips. I’ll see him straight away.” He then looked at Mr. Weasley. “Mister Weasley, I need to go–” He ran a hand through his hair. “Um, may I speak with you later, sir?” *I have to tell you that your daughter and I broke up.* Mr. Weasley looked startled at him. “Of course, son,” he said. “I hope it is nothing too serious.” “Oh no,” Harry assured the older man, “it’s just– *something.”* “That’s okay then. I’ll be in my office.” They bid their goodbyes and each man headed off to his own fate. As Harry waited for the elevator to the Aurors’ Department, he gazed again at the empty spot, where, minutes early, the woman wept. “Poor Remus,” he muttered to himself, without even thinking. ***** AN: Ah, I started a new story. It’s called ‘The Way We Were’, and it’s Post DH. :) And have a good week everyone! 16. Woes and Regards -------------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn’t mine! AN: Guys, I read your reviews for last chapter, and PLEASE- the woman in the Ministry WASN’T TONKS! I’ve no idea why some of you think it’s her, but let me get this clear: It wasn’t her. Actually, if you’ve paid attention I put a Flashback scene where Hermione tells Harry that Remus and Tonks *can’t* have children. They know about the law and don’t want to risk it. And Mr. Weasley would never say *this woman* if he was referring to Tonks, right? Also, thank you so much for the reviews- and those who think my writing is so terrible, an advice: don’t read it! :P **Chapter 16:** W**oes and Regards** Lavender Brown was laying on her bed, sobbing quietly. She had her arms around her knees, pressing them against her chest. She had never wanted anything of that. Or maybe she wanted, but in not that fashion of way. Obviously she had viewed a happily ever after life with Ron; living in a charming country house, their kids...*someday.* She wasn’t prepared to have a child, to be a *mum.* And Ronald was still with *her. Hermione.* Lavender closed her eyes painfully. Hermione had never been a close friend, but she couldn’t help and not feel somewhat disgusted with herself. *`What am I gonna do’* she asked herself. `*What am I gonna do?’* ** *Ron and Harry’s apartment* Hermione rested her hands on her lap and rubbed them together as she half listened to what Ron was saying. He was repeating sentences like `I miss you´, `this job is dangerous´, `you should just quit´...If there were other times, Hermione would be angry at him, yelling at him that that was *her* work, her life, but she had the consciousness it wasn’t the moment. It was time for another kind of discussion, and she was afraid it wouldn’t be a pleasant one. She returned to the `Magical World´ the night before, and after a long talk with Harry they thought it was better for her to talk with Ron as soon as possible. However, they had also agreed that Harry’s name shouldn’t be mentioned. "Don’t you think, Hermione?" The stress on her name made Hermione snap from her reverie and look back at her *still* boyfriend. "Hermione?" She pursed her lips and loudly sighed. "We need to talk, Ron." "But we’re talking now, aren’t we?" Ron asked confused. "A serious talk, Ron." she closed her eyes painfully before re-opening them. Biting her bottom lip slightly, Hermione forced herself to continue. "It isn’t working, Ron." "W-What?" Hermione smiled sadly. They were alone in the apartment but it didn't make the conversation any easier on her "You know what." She had her eyes fixed on him. "Us." "How can you say we aren’t working?!" Ron exclaimed, on full defensive. "We’re perfect! Obviously we’re working! We’re going to marry, have children!" "No, Ron, you know it isn’t true," Hermione said firmly. "I want to break up." It was done. That’s it. She had finally said it. And then she waited for the yelling to start. However, for her utterly surprise it didn’t happen. In fact, Ron started to laugh. "Merlin, Hermione, you almost got me there!" "I am not kidding, Ronald." The smile suddenly fell from Ron´s face as he caught the seriousness of her words. He looked at her strangely. "Do you want to break up?" he asked oddly calm. "Is that right? Did I hear you right?" Maybe it should be easier if he had started yelling. "Yes, Ron," she said in a quiet but firm voice, laced with just a hint of sorrow, "I want to break up." "Did you speak with Ginny?" Hermione raised an eyebrow at him, slightly confused. "Ginny? No." Perhaps it was just an impression but it seemed that Ron looked quite relieved with her answer. "Why should I have talked to her?" "Oh no, nothing! It’s just she and Harry broke up- and...Actually, I have to give Harry a piece of my mind!" Hermione held up a hand. "No, Ron. You will not do such a thing! That’s their business!" She took a breath before continuing. "But Ron, I didn’t come here to talk about Harry and Ginny. Please don’t change the subject." "Then why?" His voice sounded bitter. "Why do you want to break up?" "We aren’t working, Ron!" "Since when have you decided this relationship isn’t working?" he asked. "Is this because of what happened on your birthday? I already said I was sorry." "That too, Ron," she replied truthfully, "I won’t deny it. However, it isn’t only because of that. It’s because that night at Leprechaun’s, it’s because so many nights and days you treated me that way..." She closed her eyes and rubbed them with her fingers, and then looked again at him. "I’m tired of this, Ron. I am tired saying to myself you’ll change. I’m tired pretending we are meant to be together." "But Hermione every couple has arguments now and then..." "Now and then, Ron! Not always!" she cried. "You keep telling you love me but don’t seem to respect me, Ron! You don’t seem to care about my family, my work!" "I like your family!" His ears were turning red. "And your work...ha! I understand now! It’s about your work then! It’s about this *necessity* to be a working woman and-" "Don’t finish whatever you were going to say, Ron," she warned. "I don’t want to be with you anymore. I do care a lot about you, but-" She shook her head. "Before you were my boyfriend you were one of my best friends, and I would never want to lose your friendship, but- but I can’t be together with you, as a girlfriend, anymore. I’m sorry." For the next minutes, Ron had his head buried in his hands, not saying a word. *`Please, Ron, say something,´* Hermione thought to herself. "Are you in love with someone else?" he finally asked, looking up at her. The question took the brown haired witch by surprise, and she groped for words. "Ron-" His expression seemed to shift, his eyes darkening. "I see," he said flatly, as if he was trying to control himself. "Ron-" "GET OUT!" he shouted at her. "Ron, please!" "GET OUT OF HERE!" his face was red with angry, and his whole body was shaking with rage "GET OUT!" "Ron-" "Go to your lover, Hermione Granger! Did you already let him fuck you? Or are you gonna be such a-" *Slap!* Hermione slapped him hard on the face. "Don’t you dare, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione cried, angry tears began to fall, from her eyes and she fought to hold them back. "Don’t you dare! I am not breaking up with you because anyone else but you! *You* are the main reason *this-"* She mentioned she and him with her hand. "-will never work." And Hermione walked away without saying anything else. *** Not so far way from there, a very anxious dark haired young man was sitting alone at a table in a Muggle Café. He had just paid for his untouched water and was fidgeting with the paper napkin when a so familiar voice caught his attention. "H-Harry?" Harry looked up at teary face Hermione. "C-Can we-we..." Harry promptly stood up from his seat and he strode over to where she was, wrapping his arms around her body. "Sweet, what hap-" he asked immediately. "Please, Harry," she cut him with a low voice, "let’s go someplace else." Harry didn’t need to be told twice, he took one of Hermione’s hands and then they walked until the next safe point to Apparate. *** Less than three minutes later, Harry and Hermione Apparated in a Muggle park. They sat down on a bench. "Tell me, sweet, what did he say?" Harry gently asked, holding her hands tightly. He was secretly praying that Ron hadn’t said anything too dreadful to Hermione. Because if he had... "Doesn’t matter, Harry," she weakly replied. "It’s over." "Hermione- it does matter. If he said-" Hermione put a finger on his lips to silence him. "No, Harry," she whispered, "no. Yes, he said some nasty things, but to tell you the truth it was less than I’d expected. And that’s exactly what worries most." Harry nodded seriously. "Did-Did you tell him about..." *us.* "No." Hermione shook her head. "But I think he suspects.... Not exactly about you but- I tried to say it wasn’t anything like that- I tried to say-" She sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. "He is my friend, Harry. And even if I know he doesn’t really love me like that- I think we shouldn’t show..." She looked down at her lap, biting her lower lip. "I mean, If you..." "If I- what?" Harry asked with a smile. "Ifstillwanttobewithme," she mumbled, her cheeks flushing a tint of red. "Huh? I didn’t quite understand you." Hermione looked up and hit him gently on the shoulder. "Honestly, Harry!" The emerald eye wizard wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Yes, love, I want to be with you." he murmured as he breathed the scent of her. He kissed her cheek**.** "But I understand what you are saying. We better stay low profile, wait for things to calm down. I-I just think one person already knows..." Hermione broke the embrace, looking at him quizzically. "Who, Harry?" "Ginny." Hermione blinked her eyes surprised as if she hadn’t understood what Harry had just said. "Ginny?" "Yeah." He nodded. "I’ve already told you about our talk. She just *knew*." "Do you think she will-" "No. Ginny still needs to grow up in several aspects, but she isn’t stupid or anything. Our relationship wasn’t going well and she knew that." "Perhaps I should-" "No, Hermione. I’ll talk with her- see how she is doing. I don’t want to lose her friendship." He looked straight into her eyes. "However, there’s something that I am dying to do." "What is it?" "Kiss you." And without another word he claimed her lips. The kiss was soft and tender. When Hermione stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his neck, Harry took that as a sign to deepen the kiss. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and when she responded by moaning softly, he slipped his tongue in her mouth and pulled her even closer so there was barely any space between them. Some time later, Harry withdrew his face a few inches, but still held onto her tightly. Hermione rested her head on his shoulder, just above his chest, sighing contently. They stayed there in silence**,** enjoying the closeness. ******* **1978** *London* *James, Sirius, Peter and Remus´ apartment.* *Remus´ and Peter’s bedroom.* Remus Lupin was sitting in his bed reading a book when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" he yelled. "Hey, Moony," a smirking face Sirius Black showed up, "I think you have a visitor." Before Remus could say anything, Sirius moved aside revealing a smiling Mary Addams behind him. "Hey, Remus," she said shyly. Remus smiled back and prompted got up from the bed, rushing to her. "Mary." He swathed his arms around her waist. Closing his eyes, he released a content breath through his lips. "Mary," he whispered once again in her ear, just before kissing her. Sirius smiled to himself, and then left without saying a word. "Oh, Remus," Mary spoke quietly against his mouth, "I missed you so much." "I missed you too, Mary," Remus replied with a happy smile, indicating her to sit down on the edge of the bed. "So here’s where you live?" She asked looking around at the middle-size bedroom. There were some Quidditch posters on the beige walls along with some photographs and two shelves with some books. There were also in the room a wardrobe, a small chest of drawers, and a desk. The two single beds were near the window and each one had a small nightstand by its side. "Yeah," he said, "I share this room with Peter. He had some family issue this weekend, that’s why it’s only me today." Mary nodded timidly; suddenly aware she was alone in a bedroom with her boyfriend. "So next week is the wedding, huh?" "Yeah, James can barely contain himself," Remus replied with a grin, his fingers touching her curly brown hair, caressing the locks with a delicacy that would not betray his feelings. "Lily is the same. She, Alice, and Jane don’t talk about anything else. I’m sure they will be a very happy couple." "Me too," Remus agreed. "Lily managed to do one thing that no one had succeeded until now." "What?" "Transform James Potter into a serious man." "Yeah, I suppose. Jane told me how he was before Lily." Remus opened his mouth to say something but decided against it. Instead, his hands let go of her hair and brought them to her face, cupping it gently. "I don’t think I want to talk about James and Lily." Remus said, brushing his thumb gently against her smooth skin. "I don’t think I want to either," Mary replied quietly, her cheeks flushing. "Good," Remus said in a quiet tone before pressing his lips against hers, parting them slightly enough for his tongue to enter her mouth. Her soft, firm and wet lips were like an addictive drug. He mumbled, his voice quivered with passionate love, "Mary." It was a soft and gentle kiss. And when they finally broke apart, Remus gazed at her, a smile playing on her lips. And then- just then he *knew.* "I love you, Mary." Mary looked back at him, her eyes shining with happy tears. "I love you too, Remus." **************** Thanks Oliver for the beta. ^.^ 17. Pieces of Bliss and Sorrow ------------------------------ **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. AN: Happy Birthday, Hermione Granger! **Chapter 17: Pieces of Bliss and Sorrow** **** 10:30 PM *November 28, 2000** A Muggle Inn,* *London* ** Harry was sitting down on the middle of the bed, his back against the headboard. He had his arms curled around Hermione, who was sitting between his legs**,** leaning back against his chest. Harry and Hermione had decided to place their `meetings´ in that Muggle Inn until they thought it was okay to make their relationship public. It wasn’t an easy decision; Hermione didn’t like to lie to her friends, especially Susan and her parents. Harry didn’t like that either. If, from one side, the Inn’s bedroom could give them all the privacy they wanted... He felt a silly hope to be able to tell the word how amazingly happy he was. "I wish we could stay like this forever," Hermione said quietly, nuzzling against Harry’s arms. A low and content sigh escaped from her parted lips as she closed her eyes. "Me too, love," Harry whispered back into her curly hair, "me too." He gently kissed the top of her head, and breathed in the scent of vanilla. Harry smiled as he felt Hermione sliding her fingernails up and down his arms. Harry had had lived some other moments of happiness before, that was truth. However, it had never been like this in his life; so happy and so fully alive. He felt complete. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Harry spoke again. "Love?" "Huh?" "It has been over a month since-" he began tentatively. "I was thinking... I know mine and Ginny’s break up is still on papers, but...at least our closest friend-" "Ron came to see me last night," Hermione blurted out, and immediately she felt Harry’s body tense. Hermione moved her body, placing herself in a position so she was able to face Harry. She was now sitting on his lap, not noticing the small groan that had just escaped from Harry’s lips. "He wanted to talk," she answered his unspoken question. Harry pursed his lips in a thin line, his green eyes boring intensely into hers. "What did he say?" hey asked tersely, the words sounding clipped and controlled. His eyes began to scan her face as if he wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong. "D-Did he do something? Because if-" Hermione reached out a hand and placed it gently on Harry’s cheek caressing it slightly. "He wanted to say sorry, and-" Hermione lowered her gaze, taking a sigh. "Didn’t he say anything to you?" She looked back at Harry. "I don’t think he even had a chance, really," Harry replied, shaking his head. "Ron is trying to get me about mine and Ginny’s break up." "Honestly!" Hermione huffed. "Can’t he understand that Ginny is a grow up woman and all this is your and Ginny’s problem not his?!" Harry smiled faintly. "You know how Ron is, Hermione," Harry said. "Although I could say I’m being lucky-" He shook his head in fake amusement. "The rest of the family seems to have accepted the break up pretty well." Hermione eyed him, an eyebrow raised. "Er, Mrs. Weasley doesn’t seem very happy either." "I suspected." Hermione paused for a moment, as if she was trying to unsettle some thoughts. "Um, and about Ginny, Harry? I-I haven’t seen her..." Hermione trailed off. Truth be told, the young brown haired witch had been avoiding any contact with the Weasley family since hers and Ron´s not so nice break up. Hermione knew she wasn’t the main reason for Harry and Ginny’s split up; their relationship was doomed for a long time. However, she couldn’t help but feel she might have contributed to accelerate things. "Well, I told you," Harry responded wistfully, "I saw her couple of weeks ago. She said she was fine, but still needed some time." He shrugged. "I can’t say she looks happy, but she isn’t angry either." A small sigh escaped from Hermione’s lips. "She still loves you, Harry," she whispered quietly. "No." Harry shook his head. "She cares, yes, but love? No, I don’t think so. Ginny and I were just dragged into this ridiculous and unrealistic dream of a big happy Weasley family- " He suddenly stopped and narrowed his green eyes at her. "You little witch! You’re avoiding telling me about Ron, aren’t you?" Hermione had the decency to flush. "I don’t know..." she stammered. "Hermione," he warned, his voice firm, "what did he do?" Hermione gazed at him and saw a shadow cross over his face, his green eyes darkening. "He did nothing, Harry," she said, but Harry didn’t seem convinced. "I swear! He just wanted to-to t-talk and..." She looked away as her voice trailed off. Harry then crooked a finger under her chin and gently turned her head toward him. "Hermione," he whispered softly. "He said he loved me," Hermione replied loud enough for him to hear. "He said he wants to try again, that he’s sorry for everything he might have done, and- and he will try to be a better boyfriend." Harry pursed his lips into a thin line. "Oh." He gave her a half smile, somewhat trying to not look concern. "Well, er, and what did you say?" Harry asked in a false careless tone of voice. Hermione looked straight into his eyes. "What do you think I said, Harry?" The young wizard shrugged. "´Don’t know." He turned his head away, his eyes staring at the bedroom’s window. "He was your boyfriend for so long," he muttered. Unable to control herself, Hermione let a small smile cracked on her lips. It was amazing, she thought, how that young man in front of her could be a powerful wizard and at same time could act like a confused teenage boy. "Harry," she spoke softly, "look at me." Harry slowly turned his head to her, facing her once again. "I told Ron that there wasn’t a coming back," Hermione said to him, "that I loved him only as a friend." Harry’s eyes visible brightened. "Y-You..." "I love *you,* silly boy," she said, dropping her voice caressingly, "only you." Hermione cupped his face in her hands and caressed the corners of his lips with her thumbs. One thumb rubbed across his lower lip, twice, three times before she placed a softy kiss. Harry smiled, sliding one hand up her back in a long, leisured caress; his other hand on the back of her neck. Harry pulled her even closer to him. "It’s good to know," he whispered against her mouth, before kissing her. The kiss started out very gently but slowly grew very passionate. When the air started to become an issue, Harry unhurriedly let go off her lips, and began to gently kiss her jaw line and then her neck to her throat. "Harry," Hermione moaned breathless. "I love you so much," he smirked against her skin, "god, so much..." Then, in a swift movement, he rose over her and whirled her body, making her laid flatly on the bed, bracing his arms on either side of her. Harry bent his head towards her. "Love," he moaned as he kissed her neck, eliciting shivers from her. Hermione put her arms over his shoulders her hands joined behind his neck. Her eyes were darkening in desire. "Say you love me again," he said huskily. "I love you," she whispered, nipping gently at his bottom lip, "I love you-" she began to ran her wet tongue against his mouth. "I love you," she said for the last time before kissing him on the mouth, leisurely opening her mouth as she accepted his tongue slipping inside. As the kiss continued, Hermione was half aware- and surprised- of the changes in her. Never, in all her life had a kiss made her feel so alive- and *burning.* ** Obviously, that in the beginning of her and Ron´s relationship they had shared a few good snog moments, but never like this. With Ron, her mind was always set in first place; it wasn’t rare the times when Ron started to become aroused- and each time she couldn't feel more uncomfortable. However, now, feeling Harry’s hard pleasure against her hips was everything but uncomfortable. One part of her was telling- screaming, actually- her to touch him, to release the pain she knew was building up. Yes, she wanted to feel him in her hands, but she wasn’t confident enough to do it. Not yet, anyway. "S-Sorry," Harry whispered sheepishly, pulling away off her as his arousal was turning too painful for him to control. "I-I need to go to the bathroom..." Hermione gave him a short nod, a small smile on her lips. Harry pulled out the bed and went to the bathroom. "I-It’s just a minute," he said awkwardly, opening the bathroom’s door and stepping inside. *`Damn,´* he thought angrily to himself as closed the door behind him, *`what are you, Potter? A bloody teenager unable to control himself?´* ** *Lavender’s apartment.* ** Laying in her bed, her naked body wrapped in the sheets, Lavender heaved a sigh as she sadly watched Ron finish dressing. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, putting his shoes on. "She just said she loved me only as a friend!" he complained out aloud, shaking his head. "After so many years and she suddenly realized that she doesn’t love me!" Lavender pursed her lips, unconsciously covering her stomach with her arms. A month ago, when Ron had come to her home saying that Hermione had broken up with him, she thought it was her chance to be finally- and completely- happy. She and Ron would be together. Really together. But it didn’t happen. Ron didn’t want to be with her, not in the way she wanted- and needed. And each time they got together, she had to force herself to talk about Hermione, and how he loved the brown haired witch. Lavender didn’t know how much more she could take. Didn’t he realize how he was hurting her? Merlin, she was pregnant! Pregnant with *his* child- still, she couldn’t even find a chance to tell him because they were shagging or he was talking about fucking Hermione Granger! "But tomorrow I’ll try to talk with her again," Ron continued to talk, "it’s Bill’s birthday party and I *know* she will-" "STOP!" Lavender screamed as tears began to run down on her cheeks. "Stop!" "Lav?" Ron turned to her, mildly surprised by her outburst. "Stop, can’t you?" she said hoarsely through her tears. "We just made love and you're there- talking about her!" "Lavender, we shagged- that's what we do. We shag, fuck. And I love Hermione." Lavender was suddenly feeling hard to breathe properly. "Y-You can say it’s only a shag, Ron. W-We are..." Ron shook his head lightly. "We're *nothing*, Lav," he said quietly. He didn't want to sound harsh, but it was better to make things clear. "We just shag. It's good, yes, but nothing more than that. I love Hermione." He got up from the bed and walked towards the bedroom’s door, opening it. "She dumped you!" Lavender hurriedly pulled out of the bed, holding the sheet tightly around her body. "We'll be together again. I'm sure of it," he said stepping out of the bedroom. "A-And what about me, Ron?" Lavender asked in a small voice, standing up in the middle of her bedroom. She felt low. "What about me?" Lavender let the sheet slip down her body. Maybe, just maybe, he could stay. "Maybe it’s time to stop," he replied, looking at her naked body, but not moving in her direction. "I want to make things right with Hermione this time." And without saying anything else, Ron left. Alone in her bedroom, Lavender brought a hand to her mouth, suffocating a scream, as she let herself plunged down to the floor *** Thanks Oliver for the beta and everyone who read and review last chapter. Ah, if you want to take a look, I also drew a Hermione pic on my LJ. *http://sweet-lemmon.livejournal.com/167534.* ETA: It’s only me, or Portkey is being a pain in the *&¨%! to update today? 18. Intermissions ----------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter**.** Thanks everyone who read and reviewed last chapter and Oliver for the beta! :) Well, I think I’m little faster in my updates, huh? ^.^ I’ll do my best to try update at least once a week. **Chapter 18:** **Intermissions** *November 29, 2000* *The Burrow* *Bill’s birthday party* Harry drank some of his Butterbeer as he tried to hide the smile on his lips. He silently watched Hermione talking animatedly with Remus and Tonks on the other side of the room. She was wearing a pale blue Crepe-de-chine blouse with tie neck and caped sleeves under a dark brown jacket, and a pair of dark jeans that Harry thought were looking amazing on her. It was a simple outfit, but Harry thought she was looking beautiful than ever. He let go a soft and controlled sigh, slightly amazed at for how long he had been so blind to not realize that he loved her, how long he hadn’t noticed something that was right in front of him. More than ever, Harry wished to able to cross the room and take her in his arms, kissing her with all love-and yes, desire, he had. *‘Oh my, how sappy!’* he thought to himself. The young dark haired wizard shook his head slightly, suppressing a chuckle. Harry averted his gaze for an instant and looked around the room. It was filled with Weasleys and guests, mostly well known faces like Neville and Luna, Susan and Seamus, Katie Bell, among others. However, one face caught his attention. *Ron.* His best friend was also watching Hermione talking with Remus and Tonks. However, his features didn’t show happiness. Ron had an irritated expression on his face, but Harry could also notice a glint of sadness in his eyes. A pang of guilt hit the young wizard’s chest, causing him to look down at his feet. Harry had told himself several times he wasn’t the reason why Ron and Hermione didn’t’ have worked out, but it was of his nature to feel, at least, in part, responsible for the fall down. He loved Hermione more than anything in the world, and truly, he was living the best time of his life. For the first time, he was feeling complete, accomplished. With Hermione, Harry started to real think about get marriage, have children. Of course, he had thought about it before. Merlin, since he was a kid he had dreamed to have his own family, but it was always in the *Dreamland.* Something for the future. When he was dating Ginny, the idea of marriage and start a new family with the redhead girl had crossed his mind. However, this thought always seemed wrong, even unacceptable. Now, with Hermione, it was a completely different matter. Harry wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. They were just *right.* “Harry?” a familiar voice brought him back from his reveries. Harry looked up, shaking his head lightly. It was his partner Lisa Turpin. “Why you look so amused?” “Huh?” Harry blinked, slightly confused. “Oh! Just thinking,” he said with a smile and she nodded, not quite believing him, but still accepting his answer. “So, Lisa, having fun?” “Yeah,” she said, “it’s a good party.” She paused a moment as if she was pondering about something. “Harry,” Lisa, suddenly, spoke again, her voice sounding a bit unsure. “Yes, Lisa?” “You and Ginny Weasley-” her voice seemed to die at the unfinished question. Harry pursed his lips, taking a deep breath before replying. “Ginny and I aren’t together anymore,” he said firmly and even a little cold. Harry didn’t want to sound harsh, but he truly wasn’t understanding why that conversation. “But you already know about it, Lisa. It’s on the papers, not to mention we work together. If I recall, I myself confirmed it to you when the *matter* first showed up in the Prophet-” Lisa held up her hand. “Oh, please, Harry, I know...I-” She bit her lips. “It’s...well...” “Lisa...” Lisa clothed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Okay, right,” she said practically for herself, opening her eyes once again. “You are a great guy, Harry, and- a powerful wizard and-” She shook her head. “You really are a great guy. I-I am not saying that I...” she paused, a nervous smile forming in the corner of her mouth. “I was- I am wondering if- Well...” Harry looked at his partner, silent praying that whatever she was trying to say it wasn’t what he was thinking. Unfortunately, he was right. “I-I like you, Harry. Really like you.” She blushed deep red. “And-and I was wondering...Would you like to go out for a diner, or even just a drink, with me, Harry?” Lisa finally blurted out. Harry felt a hit of pity in his low stomach. He couldn’t deny the fact that Lisa was a beautiful young woman with her slender body, long and straight light brown hair and dark blue eyes. However, she always had been, for him, just his partner. A colleague. “Lisa,” he said gently, trying to not sound awkward, “you are a beautiful girl, and a great partner, but-” The hopeful smile that was on Lisa’s lips suddenly went down as he spoke the last word. *But.* Lisa, then, put a finger on his lips, making him stop. “You don’t need to continue, Harry,” she said, in a sad but dignify voice, “I understand. You don’t need to *say* it.” “Lisa, I’m so-” “No,” she shook her head, forcing a smile. Harry could see she was forcing herself to not cry. “I- I...That’s okay, really.” She clasped her hands nervously, shifting on her feet. “Now, if you excuse me, Harry, I need to go the loo.” Harry opened his mouth to say something, but she had already gone away. “Well, I think Ginny was right,” he said to himself, heaving a sigh. “About what?” a voice spoke behind him. With a smile, Harry turned to see the voice’s owner. “Hermione,” he simply said, touching her arm gently. Hermione beamed at his touch, wishing they could do much more than a soft touch. But even way she was happy with what they had. She had faith that soon enough they would be able to tell the world about them, without breaking anyone’s heart. “So, Mister Harry,” she continued, in a playful mood, “about what Ginny was right?” To her surprise, Harry looked a little uncomfortable. “Harry?” She wanted to touch his face, like many times she had done it before. However, now, it seemed different. After a few seconds of unsteady silence, Harry spoke again. “Why don’t we talk outside? Mr. Weasley’s shed is a good place.” Hermione frowned at his words. “Do not worry, it’s nothing horrible.” He leaned a little towards her, whispering into her ear. “I just want to be alone with you.” Hermione’s eyes lift up. “In five minutes, then,” she said, “Five minutes, Mister Potter.” *** *Outside, Mr. Weasley’s shed.* “Yeah, I supposed Ginny was indeed right,” Hermione finally said after hearing Harry’s tale about Lisa. “It wasn’t only a *no* *reason* jealousy.” She turned her back to him, and started to clean an invisible dust in the shed’s wooden wall. “Lisa Turpin indeed likes you. T-That’s...” Harry went closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. “You know you don’t need to worry, sweet,” he whispered into her ear. Still in his arms, Hermione turned around to look at him, placing her arms around his neck. “I-I’m not worry,” she said rather inconvincibly, but not looking away. Harry smiled fondly at her, bringing her even closer to him. “I love you, Hermione. You really don’t need to be jealous.” Hermione huffed, in mild offence. “Jealous? Honestly!” she shook her head. “I’m not jealous. It’s just...well, it isn’t exactly nice to hear that your boyfriend’s-” Harry’s heart fluttered at the *boyfriend* word. “-coworker is madly in love with him.” “Lisa *isn’t* madly in love with me,” he said in a low voice, nuzzling gently her neck. “It’s just a silly crush.” Harry started to place soft kisses on her skin. “huh huh” Hermione moaned incoherently, her fingers running through his raven hair. “I love you so much, Hermione,” he whispered, backing up just a little, so they were eye to eye. “I love you,” Harry repeated, this time looking straightly into her big brown eyes. “I love you too, my Harry.” “I love when you say this- *my Harry,”* he commented. “it sounds so *kink!”* Hermione rolled her eyes, but smile nonetheless. “Well, *my Harry,* are you going to kiss me already or what?” “Your wish is an order, milady,” he replied, just before kissing her on the lips. The kiss was suave yet passionate, and it did end soon after its started. “Oh!” Harry and Hermione quickly drew apart, their hearts beating fast. “I-I’m sorry...” “Ginny...” “I went here to get-” Ginny was looking everywhere but at their faces. “I-It’s not important. I-I’m going...” She turned her feet to leave, but Hermione called. “Ginny.” The young Weasley gazed at the brown haired witch; she didn’t look angry but she wasn’t smiling either. “Ginny, I-” “I’m not angry at you, Hermione,” Ginny said truthfully, “However; I do not wish to play best friends with you- not right now anyway.” A tired sigh escaped from her lips and without waiting for a reply, she walked away. * “I think it’s better to return to the party,” Hermione said after a few seconds of silence. Neither of them commented about Ginny’s words. “We were just lucky it wasn’t-” *Ron.* “I know,” Harry nodded. “I go first,” she said I a slight commanding voice. She leaned towards him and placed a kindly on his forehead. “Love you.” *** *The Burrow’s kitchen.* About twenty minutes had passed since she had left the Mister Weasley’s shed, and Hermione was already missing Harry’s touch. It was the first time they had been in a social meeting since they had got together and Hermione had never thought it would be so hard. “Not to mention... Lisa Turpin!” she hissed quietly to herself, a feeling of annoying towards the young Auror. “What she was thinking? Asking him to a date, just like that!” Hermione huffed, indignantly. “It’s not-” she suddenly stop her ramblings. “Ron.” Her ex-boyfriend was standing at the kitchen’s door, holding a glass of Firewhiskey. “Hermione,” his voice was blurted, confirming a suspicion that he had been drinking a little too much, “what’ re doing hear, alone?” “Taking a spare glass. I can’t find mine,” she respond, and then narrowed her eyes, “Have you been drinking, Ronald Weasley?” Ron snorted. “Fuck, Hermione!” he shoved a hand into the air, in a signal of annoyance. “This is a bloody fucking party! Can you please stop nagging for once?” Hermione opened her mouth to reply, but thought better not to. Instead, she just pursed her lips into a thin line, sighing. She didn’t want to start an argument with Ron. “I-I’m sorry, Hermione,” Ron said after a few seconds, his gaze downcast. He walked near her. “You are right, I drank a little too much today.” He smiled tentatively. “But I’m not drunk.” Hermione gave him a slight nod, not knowing exactly what to say. He leaned in slowly, and touched her face with his free hand. “You look pretty today,” he said huskily, bending his face closer to hers. Hermione started feeling a sense of desperation invading her system. “Ron...” she could smell his Firewhisky breath. “So pretty...” his lips were almost touching hers. “No, Ron!” Hermione spoke firmly, pushing him away from her. “No.” “I know you love me, Hermione!” he cried angrily, his face turning beet red. “Yeah, yeah, I learned my lesson.” His tone was mocked. “But a month is enough. Everything can go back to normal.” Hermione shook her head sadly. “No, Ron, it’s over.” He let go a dry laugh. “Hah!” “Please, Ron you have to accept-” “I have *nothing!”* He stepped closer, grabbing her fiercely by her shoulders. “You are mine. You were always supposed to be mine.” He shacked her body. “It always had been you and me! We have to be together!” “Let of off me, Ron,” Hermione hissed trough her teeth, “you’re starting to hurt me.” “No, not until your realize your mistake. Why, Hermione? Why?” “Ron...” “We are perfect...” “Ron...” “I know you love me, Hermione.” “No, Ron, I don’t.” Ron starred incredulously at her. “What?” “I don’t love you, Ron. I don’t even know if I have even loved you one day. A deep care, yes, a profound like...but love-” Slap! “Slut!” He slapped her hard on the face. Hermione’s eyes opened wide and shocked. With her hands trembling, she touched her face and winced in pain a little. “I could just hit you on the face,” she spoke in a controlled voice, her eyes tearing, “but I’ll not lower myself on your level. Right now, I curse the day I met you, Ronald Weasley.” Hermione swallowed dry and walked back to the party. “Oh god, Hermione!” She heard Ron called her name, but she didn’t look back. This time a ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t be enough. * “Hermione!” Remus on her as soon as she stepped in the room. “There you ar- what happened?” his asked concerned, his eyes searching her face and spotting the red flush on her face “What-” he touched her cheek and she cringed. “Who did this?” he asked angrily at whoever this person was. Hermione always had been a special person to him, someone like a niece or even a daughter if he could have one. “Herm-” But Remus got his answer as his eyes caught a sight of a certain Ronald Weasley. Apparently the redhead wizard was looking for something- or someone. “I can’t believe him!” Remus cried angrily. “Wait until I gave him a piece of my mind!” “N-No, Remus,” Hermione shook her head, unable to control her tears any longer, “I-I just want to go home.” “Hermione, what he did is unaccepted!” “Please, Remus...” she whispered and maybe for a glimpse of a moment, Remus thought he was seeing someone else. Someone he saw for the last time more than twenty years ago. “Hermione, I’m so sorry!” Apparently Ron had found her. Remus stepped in front of Ron. “I think we need to have a talk, Mister Weasley. I-” “Ron!” A female voice cried out aloud. *“God, today is the interruption day,”* Hermione couldn’t help to think. “Ron!” the voice was louder and uneven. “Ron! Oh, there you are!” “What are you doing here?” Ron asked in a low tone, wishing that the whole party wasn’t looking at them.” “I came to see you!” “I think it would be better if you leave.” “Why? Don’t you want me here? Am I an embarrassment to you?” “Please, you don’t need to yell.” “But I thought you liked when I yell. You told me yourself that time we fucked in my bathroom!” The room went silent. “I don’t know what are talking about,” Ron hissed, breathing hard. He looked at the shocking faces around them. “She is drunk,” he assured, forcing a tiny smile, “nothing to-” “But I can’t drink, *Ronald*. After all, I’m pregnant with your child.” Lavender Brown wasn’t yelling anymore. “And we don’t want anything to happen with our baby, right Won-Won?” **** Hehehe... I hope you liked it. Ah, Just one thing, though, this isn’t a bash!Ron fic. He just need to grow up- and he will. :) 19. Ronald Weasley’s Wretchedness --------------------------------- **Love, Lies, and a Secret** Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter. **Chapter 19: Ronald Weasley’s Wretchedness** If there was ever a time in which Ronald Weasley wished to be dead, it was right then at that moment. Lavender was pregnant. With *his* child. `No, this is a lie,´ he thought fiercely to himself, in those uncountable seconds in which it seemed that time had just stopped. "What did you just say, Miss Brown?" Ron´s head snapped at the sound of his father’s voice. His father seemed oddly calm, with a strange expression on his face. "I’m pregnant, Mr. Weasley," Lavender responded in a low but firm voice; her eyes were bloodshot and her hands were visible shaking. "I’m two months pregnant with Ronald’s child and I don’t know what to do." She buried her head in her hands and started to cry, her shoulders trembling as she leaned against the nearby wall. Ron waited for someone to start yelling, but the only thing he heard was silence. Not even his mum raised her voice- and this scared him more than ever. He looked at her and his heart felt like it had broken into a million pieces. She looked disappointed in him. He wished a hundred times that she had started yelling. And there was also Hermione... Oh god, Hermione! How was he supposed to get her back after this? *Fuck!* "You’re lying," he finally spoke, "you are lying, Lavender. Why are you doing this?" Lavender lifted her head and stared at him, her eyes flicking with incredulously. "Lying?" Her voice was filled with angry sarcasm. "Oh, right, you don’t want your friends knowing what you have been doing!" She looked around at the staring faces. "You don’t want to anyone to know that you cheated on your beloved Hermione Granger with me!" Lavender took a deep breath before continuing, "yes, Hermione!" Her eyes bored at the brown haired witch. "While you acted like such a prude, Ron came to me to get what you didn’t want to give him. Sex!" Ron slowly turned to look at his ex-girlfriend. She had her arms crossed around herself, like she was trying to get herself up to the dear life; her lips were pursed, and her eyes wide open as if she was desperately trying to control her tears to keep from falling. She repeated over and over inside her head she was not to lose control. She was not going to cry. She did not intend to let anyone notice that all that was hurting her somehow. The romantic love she had once thought she felt for Ron had ended a long time ago. However, it still had a dire taste the fact that everything was a lie. It was so sort of betrayal she couldn’t quite explain. Hermione just wished that Ron had been only a boyfriend; Never one of her best friends. She looked around the small crowed around them and spotted Harry. He had his eyes darkened and walked rapidly towards them, in a clear intention to get Ron. “I gave him my body, my soul,” Lavender continued, “I’m not a frigid-” "That’s enough!" Remus Lupin shouted, startling everyone in the room. "I don’t know what happened, *Miss Brown*, but you have to solve your problem with young Mr. Weasley—not Miss Granger.” He turned to Ron and took a breath, "Ron, take Lavender here and go talk upstairs." He closed his eyes briefly to open them again a moment later. "Hermione-" he twisted his body to speak with her and was mildly surprise to see Harry with his arms around her and whispering something in her ear. "Harry," he said quietly, looking directly at the young wizard’s eyes. Harry gave him a curt nod and quietly replied to the unspoken question, “I’m taking her home.” Remus’ lips cracked in a small smile, nodding almost imperceptibly. The werewolf watched in silence as Harry and Hermione walked away, a strange feeling in his chest. He sighed then and turned to his gaze to see Ron, Lavender, Molly and Arthur walking up the stars. “Now, everyone!” he spoke again, clasping his hands, “let’s given them some space,” and he added a little more quietly, “the show is over.” *** *Hermione and Susan’s apartment* *Hermione’s bedroom.* Harry and Hermione entered her bedroom without making a sound. With a comforting hand on Hermione’s lower back, Harry led her over the bed. Silently, Hermione let her body fell down on the bed’s edge. "Hermione?" Harry said her name very quietly, his eyes wandering in concern over her figure. "Love, please, say something." Hermione was with her head down in complete silence. "Love-" Harry was already entering into his despairing mood; not to mention the angry mood too. Lavender’s words had been harsh, but in a way, he could understand them. Ron *however...* Harry could not believe what his so-called best friend had been doing. But, he had to force himself to think about it later. At that moment, Hermione was more important. She had not said a word since he had Apparated them to her apartment, and a silly- and rather insecure part of him- was beginning to have strange thoughts that maybe, perhaps, she was jealous of Lavender. *Nah...* *But she could...* *No.* *Yellow canaries, Potter!* *Shut up!* "Please, love-" "Why?" Hermione suddenly spoke, lifting her head and staring at Harry, who was standing up right in front of her. "Why did he have to look for another woman, Harry?" Harry felt an odd lump in his throat. He did not know what to say or how to react. They were not just best friends anymore; he simply couldn’t hear her talking about Ron without feeling his heart breaking. "Lavender’s words hurt me," Hermione continued, "yes, they did. But I can’t blame her completely. I understand- she must be desperate." She paused, sighing deeply as the tears ran down her cheeks. "But Ron...before being my boyfriend he was my friend. One of my best friends! Of course being his girlfriend, all this wounds my ego to know he decided to have sex with someone else while we were still together”, Hermione said softly, staring down at her hands, which were clasped tightly in front of her. Harry then touched her arm gently. “I still have some sense of self-esteem, even if I don’t love him as a boyfriend." She raised her gaze and their eyes met. Harry felt his heart lighten after he heard those words. "If he wanted to be with other women, why didn’t he break up with me? Why does he have to be such a hypocrite about our break up?!" Harry knelt down between her legs, and took her hands in his. "I don’t know, love," he whispered, "I just know Ronald Weasley is an idiot." Hermione let go a soft chuckle. "I know I shouldn’t be crying..." she muttered, feeling extremely silly. Harry smiled kindly at her, leaning a hand to her face. "You shouldn’t because he doesn’t deserve any tear of yours, lov-" He stopped swiftly as he felt her flinching when he touched her cheek. Harry felt the air becoming rapidly hot, and a wave of anger growing inside of him. "Hermione..." She looked away. "Hermione..." He put a finger under her chin and turned her to face him. His eyes then flicked at her left cheek and its reddish coloration. Harry had not noticed about it before, mistaken as some blushing from crying. However, looking more attentively, he could see it was not a blush from crying, or even a blush at all. It was a mark. Harry closed his eyes painfully, and his mind brought him back to a moment in the party. He hadn’t paid attention to them. He was talking with Neville- and he saw, he saw Hermione talking quietly with Remus. Remus had an angry face. "Hermione, who did this?" "It was nothing, Harry," she replied weakly, trying to look away but Harry didn’t let her. "No! It wasn’t anything!" he argued. "I’m pretty sure I know who did this, but I need you to say it. Please, Hermione. Please, say I’m wrong and you just hit your face on a door and he had nothing to do with it. *Please...*" Hermione shook her head. "H-He just got so mad and..." the young witch stopped, unable to continue, and started sobbing uncontrollably. In a fast action, Harry moved by Hermione’s side, and took her into his arms and held her gently, letting her cry against his chest. Ronald Weasley was a dead man. *** *The Burrow* "I take it you’re sure about this- your *condition,"* Mr. Weasley asked Lavender. He, Molly, Ron, and Lavender were in Ron´s old bedroom. "Yes, sir," she answered quietly. Lavender was sitting in an old chair, twisting her hands nervously in her lap. "I-I already suspected when I went in for my regular appointment. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to notice." She moved her gaze to Mrs. Weasley, who clearly having a battle with herself to not start yelling. "I-It’s too early." Molly only gave the girl a terse nod. "Have you told your parents?" Arthur then asked, and Lavender felt all the color leaving her face. "Oh god!" She brought a hand to her mouth, a scared expression on her face. "My dad is going to kill me! Oh god, what am I going to do?" "Well, missy, you should have thought about that *before* tricking my Ronald into your bed!" Molly Weasley blurted out, her face red like her hair. "We all know your fame, *Miss* Brown!" "Molly, please!" "I tricked your Ronald into my bed?!" Arthur and Lavender cried at same time. Ron thought it was better to stay quiet. "Oh, please. I was told you’re blind when it comes to your own children but this is just ridiculous!" Molly tried to get up next to the girl, but was restrained by Arthur, so she settled with pointing a finger in Lavender’s direction and, shaking it. "Listen here, young lady-" "No!" Lavender interrupted rather fiercely. "You listen! I won’t say I’m innocent in this. I’m not! I slept with Ron because I love him. I always did." Her last words were barely a whisper. Molly Weasley opened her mouth to say something, but Arthur held up a hand, stopping her. The Weasley patriarch took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, tired. "Ron," he spoke again, putting the glasses back, "Sitting in silence won’t help in anything." Arthur pursed his lips. "I’m very disappointed today, but not talking about it won’t help in anything. Not right now anyway. What I want to know is if you’ll act like a man or not." Ron gulped, feeling sick to his stomach. He just *couldn’t* marry Lavender. She was nice and all- but, but just that. They didn’t even talk! "I won’t marry you, Lav," he said in a quiet tone, "I’m sorry, but I won’t." He ran a hand through his red hair. "I can’t...you’re not..." Lavender brought a hand to her mouth, chocking a sob. "You don’t need to say anything else, Ronald," she managed to say, between sobs. She smiled sadly, “You said yourself last night...just after we made love...you said I was just a sha-" "Wait! What do you mean, last night?" Mrs. Weasley interrupted the younger witch. "You two have been..." "I have been just *a shag* for your son almost everyday in these last two months, Mrs. Weasley," Lavender replied sorrowfully, and then turned to Ron to say something but decided against it. Instead, she said to Mr. Weasley, "I’m going home. I’m sorry about any problems..." Arthur Weasley seemed to be caught by surprise. "No, we still need to discuss...Ronald-" He looked at his son, but Ron shook his head lightly. Arthur sighed, defeated. He knew it wouldn’t help to start another fight. "Right, but are you sure you are okay?" "How are you going home?" Molly suddenly asked concerned, and Arthur looked mildly surprise at his wife. Sometimes he couldn’t understand her. "You know you can’t Apparate!" "I have a Portkey with me. It’s set to work all night," Lavender replied. "Good night then." She took off a small coin from her purse and within seconds disappeared into thin air. The three Weasleys stayed in silence, staring at the empty spot where Lavender had been just a few seconds ago. However, the silence did not take too long... "RONALD BILLIUS WEASLEY!!" Molly Weasley bellowed, her eyes flashing. "NOW EXPLAIN YOURSELF!” Ron´s eyes opened wide. "I-I..." Just then the bedroom’s door opened and Ginny, Fred, George, Bill and Fleur stepped inside "The guests are already gone," Bill said to no one in particular. He looked around the room and raised an eyebrow. "Where’s she?" he asked. "Where’s Lavender?" "She went back to her hou-" Ron responded. “Don’t worry,” Arthur interrupted before the others could protest, “she Portkeyed out.” Molly Weasley sat down besides her husband and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it a little. "Tomorrow I’ll go see her and apologize-" "Apologize?" Ginny cut in. "Oh Merlin, mum!" she exclaimed, before her mum could reply. "You insulted Lavender, didn’t you? For Circe! I bet you did, mum! Because your Ronald would never do anything wrong, right?" "Ginevra, respect your mother!" Mr. Weasley demanded, though, he rather agreed with his daughter. "No, dad!" Ginny cried. "You know I’m right! Lavender may have not acted right when she came here, throwing all this in front of everyone, but I bet she hadn’t had a choice." She narrowed her eyes at her brother. "Had she, Ron?" "And what does this have to do with you, Gin?!" Ron shouted. "No one has anything to do with it! This is my life! I just want a little of fun! I needed just some fun. And Lavender was there...Bloody hell, she isn’t exactly a lad-" “*Silencio**!”* Bill bellowed*. “*Don’t,” he said in a voice of warning. “Don’t.” Then, in fast movement for his age, Arthur Weasley stood up from the edge of the bed and went closer to his youngest son. He looked straight at Ron´s eyes. "In all my life, I never- ever felt so ashamed of a son like you made me feel today, Ronald. Yes, I could have got mad with you for your lack of responsibility, but I’m sure we would find a way to work for this situation. However, now, Ronald, I’m not mad...I’m just sad. I’m sad not because your lack of responsibility, but your lack of character," Mr. Weasley finished, and not waiting for a reply, left the room. *Susan and Hermione’s apartment.* *Hermione’s bedroom* *2:30 am* Susan Bones knocked carefully at Hermione’s bedroom door. Even if there was light under the door, she was not sure if her friend was sleeping or not. The former Hufflepuff had just gone back from a twenty-four hour shift at St. Mungo’s and was dying for a hot shower and her bed; however, she did need to know how Hermione was. When she was leaving the hospital, Neville was going in, and he ended up telling her what happened at Bill Weasley’s birthday party. *That bloody fucking git Ronald Weasley!* She knocked one last time. "Come in," a tired voice responded from inside the bedroom- and it wasn’t Hermione’s. Susan couldn’t help but smile. She *knew* that voice. "Hello, Harry," she greeted quietly, entering the bedroom. The wizard was sitting in the bed, his back against the headboard. He had a sleeping Hermione in his arms, holding her as if his life depended on this. "Hello, Susan," he replied, but didn’t move, "Did you just get home?" Susan nodded walking closer to the bed. "Yeah," she said, looking down at her sleeping friend, "When we were changing shifts, Neville told what happened at the party." She raised her gaze and eyed Harry. "I can’t believe it." "Neither can I," he said flatly, "but Ron seems to have done worse things than get Lavender pregnant." Susan felt stunned by those words, but decided to not ask any further. Instead, she asked about Hermione. "She’s fine," he answered, looking down at Hermione, "just shocked, I guess." He looked up. "They aren’t together anymore, you know." The last part was told in a defensive tone of voice, and Susan could not help but smile a little at the young wizard’s attitude. She wondered when he and Hermione would stop being so blind and realize they were perfect for each other. "I know, Harry," she nodded, "but I guess it’s a little shocking to know your ex-boyfriend has been cheating on you with *his* ex. Because it’s quite obvious that he and Lavender were having a tryst while he and Hermione were still together." She heaved a sigh, and tried to explain herself a little better. Susan did not want Harry to have the impression that Susan thought that Hermione was jealous of Ron. "It’s hard to find out everything you had with a person was a lie. Even if you don’t love him romantically anymore, there’s always the pride aspect." "Yeah, Hermione told me all about it." "I bet she did," she agreed, "Well, I’m really tired. Night, Harry." "Night, Susan." Susan walked to the door and just before opening it; she turned and looked at Harry once again. "I know you didn’t say anything, but-" She gave him a smirk. "I’m fine with you sleeping here with Hermione." Susan left just after being able to see the flush growing on Harry’s cheeks. TBC ****** *That’s it. I hope you liked it.* *Well, not exactly a week but 8 days later- I guess it wasn’t all that bad, huh? Especially since I traveled last week and got a cold.* *I won’t promise an update schedule but I’ll do my best to try to update in at least 9 days. RL has been very busy.* *Also, I would like to thank Oliver, for the first look; and Lady Starlight, who really helped me to improve this chapter. ^.^*