Illumination

Placid Destruction

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Suspense
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 22/07/2006
Last Updated: 17/09/2006
Status: completed

Forced into hiding, Lily and James trust a friend with their lives and the life of their son but are ultimately betrayed. Helpless and cut off from the rest of the world, their last few days together are the most trying of all.

Chapters

1. Chapter One

2. Chapter Two

3. Chapter Three

1. Chapter One

Illumination

Summary: Forced into hiding, Lily and James trust a friend with their lives and the life of their son but are ultimately betrayed. Helpless and cut off from the rest of the world, their last few days together are the most trying of all.

Disclaimer: The characters and plot and everything else belong to JK Rowling.

Chapter One

Lily awoke with a start.

Harry was crying. She could hear him from down the hall. Then suddenly, he stopped. Lily frowned and waited for him to start crying again as he hardly ever fell back to sleep on his own, but he didn't make another sound.

Curious, she got out of bed and headed down the hall to check on the baby just in case. As she was nearing the nursery, she could see a light underneath the door. That was odd. She knew she remembered turning the light off after putting Harry to bed, and she never closed his door.

When she was right outside the door with her hand almost to the doorknob, she paused and listened. Someone inside the nursery was speaking, and it definitely was not Harry.

Lily's heart began to pound. No one should have been in Harry's room except Harry. It couldn't be James. He had been asleep when Lily had left their room only seconds before to check on the baby, and they were the only three people who lived in the house. Maybe it was Sirius. He did tend to drop in on them at odd hours and, being Harry's godfather, he took a liking to the boy and would not be beyond waking him just to play at this ungodly hour.

Forcing herself to believe that it was Sirius, Lily took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. As soon as the door opened, the whispering inside stopped. She looked around the room, but her attention was immediately caught by the hooded figure hovering over Harry's crib.

“Why, look who it is,” the figure said softly. “Mummy's here, Harry. Let's teach her to knock before entering.” He raised his wand at Lily, who was fighting to keep her breathing steady. “Avada Kadavra!” he cried.

There was a flash of green, and Lily sat bolt upright in bed, sweating and breathing heavily. She threw the covers off and ran down the hall to Harry's room. He was sleeping peacefully. It had all been a dream. A terrible dream. A nightmare.

She pulled the blankets up over Harry to ensure that he stayed warm and brushed the hair out of his eyes. Suddenly not wanting to leave her only child alone, she continued to stroke his hair and watch him sleep.

Even though it had only been a dream, it had seemed so real. Lily had had similar dreams before where Voldemort had somehow found his way into their house to kill them. It was by far her worst fear that one of her dreams would come true. Dumbledore was helping them with their situation, though, and hopefully the Potters would stay safe until after this war was over, although there was no end in sight.

Voldemort had been after them for what seemed like a lifetime. Lily still found it hard to believe that she and her husband and their one-year-old son were targets of the most powerful Dark Wizard in the Wizarding world. It was like something out of a Muggle horror movie.

She looked at the clock on the wall and noted that it was almost half past ten. Normally, Lily and James would still be awake, but tonight was important. They would be meeting Dumbledore at midnight, and she needed sleep. After placing a light kiss on Harry's forehead, she went back to her bedroom.

She tried to slip silently into bed, thinking James was still sleeping, but he was awake and immediately started talking.

“What's the matter?” he asked. “Did you have another dream?”

Lily nodded and rested her head on his chest.

“He was in the nursery with Harry,” she explained in a whisper. “And I walked in and—” She broke off with a quiet sob. “It was so real, James.”

“Shh,” he said soothingly, putting his arms around her. “It was only a dream. Dumbledore won't let anything happen to us.”

Lily looked up at him. “But what if something does happen to us? Who will take care of Harry? He's only a baby. He doesn't deserve to be alone for his whole life. He needs a family!”

“You're only upsetting yourself more,” James replied. “Don't worry. We'll be okay. You'll see. But in the event that something does happen to us, I'm sure Harry will be in good hands. We have plenty of friends who would take excellent care of him. That's why we chose Sirius as his godfather.”

Lily began to sob even harder.

James sighed. “I know this isn't the time for jokes,” he said softly. “But I know that Sirius would take good care of Harry given the situation. He can be responsible when he wants to, but he won't need to because we aren't going anywhere. At least I'm not planning on going anywhere. Are you going someplace?”

“I hope not,” she replied with a sniff.

“Then we'd best be off to sleep. Tomorrow's a big day.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head and settled back into his pillow. “Goodnight, Lily.”

“Goodnight,” she whispered and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

- - - -

“Lily, get up. It's time to go.”

She opened her eyes groggily to see James hovering over her with a serious expression on his face. Yawning, she reached for her wand in the darkness.

“Lumos!” she muttered, and the tip of her wand lit up.

It didn't give off much light, but they couldn't afford to turn the lights on. It was too dangerous. If it meant the safety of their lives, they would be able to survive with what little light their wands provided.

“You take care of yourself and Harry,” James instructed. “I'll take care of everything else.”

Lily got dressed and put everything she absolutely needed in a pile by the bathroom sink. Then she went to get Harry.

He woke up and started to cry when she lifted him from his crib and began to dress him.

“Shh,” she said soothingly, trying to calm him down. “We need to go somewhere, but we'll be back soon. Don't worry. Everything's going to be alright.”

She knew she was actually trying to assure herself and not Harry that they would be safe, but she still wasn't so sure about it. He was so little, barely even a year old, and his life was already in danger. If Voldemort wasn't stopped soon, Harry could spend years in hiding, trying to keep from being killed. It was too much to think about. Lily could barely even remember a time when life was easy and carefree. Things had been bad for so long that the bad memories outnumbered the good.

In the past year alone, Voldemort had gained even more power and even more supporters than before. More people than Lily could count had been killed, and many were missing. People she had known for years were now dead because of him, and more would surely die before the war was over. Some thought that it wouldn't be long before Voldemort attacked the Ministry and gained control of it. Once that happened the Wizarding world would not stand a chance.

Lily's brain could not even fathom what was going on. She knew it was bad, but she also knew she would never quite understand the full extent of the war. It was impossible.

It was cold out, so she dressed Harry in his warmest clothes. If everything went as planned, they would not be outside for very long, but one could not assume anything these days.

Harry watched his mother in silence as she dressed him. His emerald green eyes transfixed on her face, only blinking when absolutely necessary. Of course he had no idea what was going on. He was a baby. There was no way he could possibly know what his parents were doing or why they were constantly worried. As he watched, a single tear rolled down Lily's cheek.

“Mum-my,” he said quietly.

She smiled down at her son.

“Mummy's fine,” she assured him. “This will all be over soon.”

Harry stuck his thumb in his mouth and allowed himself to be lifted and carried to his parents' room.

“Harry and I are ready,” Lily called. “Where are you?”

James removed the invisibility cloak and stepped away from the window.

“I was checking to see if the coast was clear,” he explained. “I can't tell, but I'm pretty sure we're still being watched.”

Dumbledore had warned them that Voldemort probably had spies set up around the house to watch for anything suspicious happening in the Potter home. Lily had been standing by the kitchen sink one day only to look up and see someone running across their yard. Normally, people did not run through their front yard, but it could have been a Muggle. Not wanting to risk anything, Lily had immediately retrieved Harry from upstairs and apparated to the Ministry where James was working. They went to see Dumbledore immediately after. That's when he had proposed the plan they were now going through with.

“We're ready,” Lily repeated.

“Good,” James replied. “So am I.”

The sound of a clock striking midnight echoed through the house.

James took a deep breath. “Let's go.”

James carried their luggage downstairs while Lily followed, carrying Harry. They had used suitcases instead of trunks so that they wouldn't draw attention to themselves. All three bundled up as well as they could, and, suitcases in hand, they left their house like a family of poverty-stricken emigrants gone to search for a better life.

“Hurry up,” James whispered as they walked down the front path to the sidewalk. “I think I see Dumbledore.”

Lily pressed Harry closer to her shoulder and hurried to where Dumbledore was standing, holding his lit wand aloft, like a beacon lighting the way to safety.

He was there to escort them to their place of hiding where Voldemort would not be able to find them. They were leaving in the dead of the night so that maybe they wouldn't be seen. Their chances of getting away that easily were slim to none. Voldemort's spies were probably still watching the house at night, even though they couldn't be seen. That's why Dumbledore was there. Not even Death Eaters were stupid enough to attack anyone when Dumbledore was around.

Even though the lighting was very poor, Lily noticed the twinkle missing from her old headmaster's eyes. A sudden realization that this was much more important than she had imagined struck her, and she momentarily had trouble breathing. She unconsciously rocked Harry back and forth and listened to Dumbledore through a daze.

“Is everything in order?” he asked with a great deal of seriousness. When James nodded, he continued. “Then we'd best be going. There is much to do. You both remember where to go?” They nodded again. “Then let's go.”

Lily took a deep breath and held Harry close to her. Then she closed her eyes and focused on where she was going, hoping she wouldn't splinch herself.

When she reopened her eyes, she found herself standing in her living room by the fireplace. James and Dumbledore were already talking quietly on the other side of the room.

They would be hiding in Godric's Hollow, the house they lived in and had left only minutes before to meet Dumbledore. It was to throw off any of the spies who would be reporting the Potters' behavior to Voldemort. They had carried suitcases not only to make it seem like they were going somewhere far away but also in case something happened and they decided it was unsafe to return to Godric's Hollow right away.

“Now,” Dumbledore said quickly and quietly. “I can't stay long, but as soon as I return to Hogwarts, I will send Sirius here. Once you've finished up with the Fidelius Charm, put an anti-Apparation charm on the house and stay put. Don't leave this house for anything. Understand?”

Lily nodded slowly.

James lifted a small parcel from the table and handed it to Dumbledore.

“Could you take this stuff and keep it safe for us?” he asked. “There's a note inside explaining what to do if anything happens.” His voice grew softer and softer as he spoke so that the last two words were barely audible.

Dumbledore smiled sadly and accepted the package.

“Of course, James,” he said softly. “I wish the three of you the best of luck. I'm only sorry I could not do more to help.”

“We'll be fine,” Lily replied. “You've done plenty already. I don't think we'll ever be able to repay you.”

The headmaster only smiled and nodded to them before Disapparating, leaving the Potters alone. Not a minute later, a very somber Sirius Black appeared right where Dumbledore had been standing when he disappeared. He didn't look anyone in the eye and didn't offer any kind of greeting. Lily had never seen him so serious, and it unnerved her a bit. His normally happy eyes were empty, and he was not smiling.

“Sirius?” James said slowly.

Sirius looked up and met James's eyes, then quickly looked down at his feet.

“I want you to keep an open mind,” he began. “I only want what's best for the three of you because I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” He took a deep breath and looked James in the eye again. “I don't think I'm your best choice for a Secret-Keeper. It's too obvious that you would choose me.”

“What are you talking about?” James began loudly. “I don't know anyone who could do better-”

“Peter.”

There was silence in the room. James gaped at his best friend who looked back at him steadily. Lily watched both of them in a state of slight confusion, and Harry slept peacefully on her shoulder.

“You want to repeat that?” James said finally.

Sirius took a deep breath. “Peter.”

“Peter?” James said incredulously. “Are you insane, Sirius? Our lives are in danger, and you want to let Peter Pettigrew be our Secret Keeper? He couldn't keep our Christmas presents a secret! Give me three reasons why he would do better than you would.”

“Well, no one would think that you were stupid enough to trust him with your lives. They would definitely think of me right away, but when they tortured me to tell where you're hiding, they won't get any answers because I won't know.”

“Then what?” James cried. “Then they'll find Peter and he'll give in as soon as Voldemort raises his wand hand to scratch his head. You at least would refuse to talk, and if your hiding place is good, you won't be found at all.”

Lily put Harry down on an armchair and let him sleep there while she attempted to make peace between the two men in her living room.

She knew that James was afraid that Peter would let their hiding place slip to someone who would then run to Voldemort with the information. Peter may in fact accidentally tell someone, but if he were hidden well enough, he wouldn't be able to. Lily also knew that James was aware of this, but he didn't want to use anybody other than Sirius because James trusted him more than anyone else.

“James,” Sirius groaned. “If you would only think about it. It makes perfect sense to use Peter. Just think.”

“He's right, James,” Lily said softly. “You know he is. Voldemort will be expecting us to use Sirius, not Peter. We'll be safer this way.”

James sighed. “Yeah, but-”

She shook her head. “Think of Harry. You want him to grow up, don't you? And you want to be there when he does.”

“Of course. And Peter has always been a very loyal friend.” He paused. “Alright. We'll do it. Peter will be our Secret-Keeper.”

Sirius smiled slightly, though he still looked extremely sad. He nodded in approval and heaved a great sigh.

“Of course, Dumbledore would probably be your best option,” he said. “Because not even Voldemort will go near him, but I know you've already turned him down, and you aren't easily persuaded, so Peter is probably your next best bet.”

James nodded but didn't say anything in reply, and Sirius hurried off to find Peter, leaving the Potters alone with their thoughts.

- - - - -

A/N: Hello. I hope you're all well. Yes, I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything, but I had some computer problems.

This story will be three chapters long when complete, and I should be able to update once a week. We'll have to see about that.

Believe it or not, I think that's all I have to say about this story. That's odd…

Please review!

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2. Chapter Two

Illumination

Summary: Forced into hiding, Lily and James trust a friend with their lives and the life of their son but are ultimately betrayed. Helpless and cut off from the rest of the world, their last few days together are the most trying of all.

Disclaimer: The characters and plot and everything else belong to JK Rowling.

A/N: I thought it might ruin the suspense at the end of this chapter if I posted this note down there, so I'll do it here instead. Only one chapter left after this one. It should be up in a week or two. Just be patient with me.

Also, visit my live journal (link is in my profile) because I need your help. I've posted a list of my story ideas, and I'd like you to tell me which one I should work on next. I'd really appreciate it if you would help me. Thanks in advance.

Enjoy this chapter, and thank you to all of my reviewers.

Chapter Two

Lily sat and thought about James and Sirius while Sirius was off getting Peter. They had been best friends for so long that they were practically like brothers, and they had been through so much together, but she knew that neither one of them had been prepared for the current situation. She would trust Sirius with her life, and so would James, so she knew how disappointed he must have been that Sirius didn't want to be their Secret-Keeper.

Lily loved the Marauders. They were a group of fun-loving guys who, really, were just kids at heart. To her they would always be seventeen and trying to get her to stay still long enough to shove a snowball down the front of her shirt. Remus and Peter were just as important to her as James and Sirius. She trusted all of them, which was why she had such a hard time believing that one of them was a spy for Voldemort.

Dumbledore had informed Lily and James of this theory after some important information had been leaked. Of course, James was obviously not the spy, and he simply refused to believe it was Sirius. The only ones left were Remus and Peter, and they quickly ruled Peter out because he was so weak. Thus, Remus stood alone. It broke Lily's heart to think that they could be falsely accusing him of something. He was always so nice, nothing like a Death Eater, but then again none of the Marauders were. She had often wondered if maybe the spy had been hidden somewhere while James's friends were over and had conveniently made it look like one of them, but James and Sirius had come to the conclusion that Remus was the spy, and nothing Lily said could change their minds.

“James,” Lily said softly, afraid to speak any louder. “I think we should tell Dumbledore that we're changing our Secret-Keeper.”

“There's no time for that,” James replied absently. “Every second matters, and if something happens, Sirius and Peter know. They'll tell him for us.”

She nodded, and the family sat in silence until two loud cracks announced the return of Sirius and Peter. Lily nearly fell out of her chair in surprise. She had become extremely paranoid as of late, afraid that Voldemort would always be right behind her waiting to strike. It was a good thing; it kept her on her toes, but it was also a bad thing. She had worried so much over the past few weeks that she had begun to get sick. Although she did not dare tell James about it, she had been violently ill on more than one occasion. Sirius had found out and had agreed not to tell James, although he was genuinely worried about her. Lily loved James, and that was why she didn't want to worry him about trivial things like her health. After the war was over, she would recover and life would return to normal.

“Hello, Peter,” she greeted warmly.

“H-hello,” he stammered in response.

“Has Sirius told you why he brought you here?” James asked. “Or did he just tell you to follow him?”

Sirius shook his head. “James, James, James. Of course I told him. We have thoroughly discussed the situation. Surely you think I care about your family more than that.”

“And you've agreed to what we want you to do?” James asked Peter.

“Yes,” he replied. “I would do anything for the three of you. I'd give my life.”

Lily was surprised by how strong a statement it was. It was definitely not like Peter to be so confident and brave. He had always been so cowardly in school, but Lily assumed that the war was helping him become a stronger person. She was proud of him.

“Well then,” Sirius said quietly, his voice full of emotion. “I should be going so you can continue with the Charm. I'll see the three of you after this war is over.”

“Take care of yourself,” Lily choked out, trying to hold back the tears that had finally decided to come.

She stepped forward and hugged him tightly. Sirius was James's best friend and as such he had become very special to Lily, too.

“I will,” he assured her. “I'm going into hiding tonight as well. That way Voldemort won't be able to find me if he suspects I'm your Secret-Keeper.”

“If you see Remus,” Lily continued. “Tell him I sent my best wishes.”

Sirius and James exchanged looks. They both thought that Remus was the spy, but they knew that Lily refused to believe it. Instead of making matters worse by presenting the evidence, they played along and let her believe what she wanted.

Sirius smiled at her. “S-sure. I'll tell him.” He turned where Harry was sitting in a nearby armchair, now fully awake. “Bye, Harry,” he said. “Take care of your mum, will you?”

“Mummy,” Harry said clearly.

“Yeah,” Sirius continued. “Your mummy needs you to help her get through this. Can you do that for me?”

Harry made a couple of gurgling noises, which Sirius took to mean yes.

“Can I have a hug?” he asked.

Harry put his arms around his godfather's neck and hugged him like only babies can.

“Don't cause too much trouble while I'm gone,” Sirius told him as he pulled away. “Wait until I come back.”

Finally, he turned to James.

“Bye, Prongs. Hopefully this war won't last long.”

“We really appreciate everything you've done for us,” James said. “We couldn't have gotten this far without you. Thank you.”

Sirius smiled sadly. “No problem. I only wish there were more I could do.”

The two best friends shook hands and embraced.

“Well, goodbye,” Sirius said, waving to the family. “I really do hope everything works out like we want it to. Peter, after the Charm is completed, go straight into hiding. I'll check on you in about a week.”

Peter nodded, and Lily sobbed loudly, making Harry cry, too. She picked him up and rocked him gently. Sirius took one last look around the room before Disapparating.

“Well then,” James said, turning back to the remaining people in the room, which included a sobbing Lily, a screaming Harry, and a nervous-looking Peter. “We'd better get this Charm done before it's too late.”

- - - -

The days in hiding passed slower than ever for the Potters. Lily was sick with worry. She couldn't stop thinking about how they had endangered the lives of two of their friends, if not more, by trying to protect themselves. It made her feel selfish, but she knew that this was what needed to be done. Hopefully neither Sirius nor Peter would do anything stupid to get himself caught.

Harry and James were growing restless cooped up in the house all day. Harry couldn't understand why he had to stay inside and couldn't go out to play in the backyard. Although he wasn't one year old, James wasn't much better. He was constantly fidgeting and complaining, and Lily didn't know how much more of it she could stand.

She had lost track of the days, but James informed her that they had been in hiding for exactly one week. It seemed like much longer than that. It felt like they had been hiding for months.

The more she thought about their situation, the more nauseous Lily felt. Finally, unable to prevent it any longer, she had to run to the bathroom to vomit.

Luckily, James had been in another part of the house and hadn't seen her rush off to the bathroom. She thanked Merlin for that, and flushed the toilet. When she got to her feet and steadied herself, she noticed a reflection in the mirror. Turning around so quickly she almost passed out, she found James standing in the doorway with concern etched across his face.

“It's nothing to worry about,” she said hurriedly. “I must be coming down with something. That's all.”

But James did not seem to buy this. He continued to look at her steadily.

“Really, it's nothing,” she whispered. “Please believe me.”

“Sirius told me that you've been getting sick a lot lately,” he said evenly. “He doesn't think you're just coming down with something. He thinks you're worrying yourself sick over this war. What do you think?”

“He promised he wouldn't tell you!”

James looked at her. “Sometimes people have to break promises to protect the ones they love. Come on, you need to lie down.”

Lily allowed him to lead her into the sitting room where she could lie down and watch Harry play.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

James smiled. “Let me know if there's anything I can get for you.”

She hoped that the war wouldn't last much longer. She didn't think she could carry on like this for years, but there was no end in sight. Voldemort was gaining more and more power and seemed nowhere near falling. He may even gain enough power to take over the Wizarding world like he had planned. Another wave of nausea washed over Lily at the thought.

Harry was playing quietly on the floor with his toys. He was so happy and carefree without a single idea of what was going on in the world. He didn't realize that there was a full-blown war going on and that he and his parents had been forced into hiding for an indefinite amount of time because of it. All he knew was that he wasn't allowed to outside anymore. Lily wished she could be like Harry.

He got up and waddled over to where James was sitting and proceeded to tug on his father's hand. James looked up from the book he had been reading.

“Hello,” he said, smiling down at his son. “What can I do for you, Harry?”

Harry continued to tug and make impatient noises. Finally, James got up and allowed himself to be led by the toddler over to the broom closet. He opened the door slowly, not quite sure what Harry was trying to tell him.

The child grabbed the handle of James's racing broom and pulled it from the closet. James caught it just before it landed on Harry's head.

“Fly,” Harry said, looking up at his father. “Fly.”

Startled, James looked at Lily to see if she had seen what had just happened. She had, and she looked just as surprised as James.

“I think he wants me to take him flying, Lily,” James said.

“Well that's out of the question,” she replied. “Neither of you can leave the house. It's entirely too dangerous.”

“Mummy's right, Harry,” James told the boy. “No flying today.”

As he put the broomstick back in the closet, Harry began to cry.

“Fly!”

James bit his lip and looked at Lily again. It pained him to make Harry cry. He wanted him to be happy at all times.

“No,” Lily said firmly. “And that's final.”

Harry continued to cry.

“What if we flew around the house?” James asked. “We won't break anything. I'll be very careful. I promise.”

Lily sighed. “I guess so, but if you do break anything, you'll be repairing it.”

“Agreed. Come on, Harry. Let's go.”

James flew around the house with Harry for over an hour. They didn't go very fast, and they flew so close to the ground that James's feet brushed the carpet, but they both loved every moment of it.

Harry giggled the entire time and, by the time James stopped the broom, had laughed himself to sleep.

Lily looked at him from where she was sitting and smiled.

“Would you look at that?” James whispered. “He's sleeping.”

Lily nodded but didn't say anything as James put Harry down on a blanket to sleep where they could watch him. Then he came and sat by her.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his eyes locking on hers and refusing to let go.

She sighed. “Us. Our family.”

James frowned slightly. “You'll make yourself sick again.”

“No, I feel fine.”

“Are you sure you're alright?” James pressed, his eyes filled with worry. “How do you know that you're just making yourself sick with worry? It could be something more than that.”

“I'm not pregnant, James, if that's what you mean,” Lily said firmly, propping herself up on some pillows. “That was my first thought, too, but I checked, and I'm definitely not. Merlin, could you imagine me getting pregnant at a time like this? Wouldn't that be the worst possible scenario? I can't think of anything that would make us more vulnerable to Voldemort. No, I'm sure I'm not pregnant. Don't worry about that.”

Although he didn't say anything, James looked extremely relieved. As much as Lily and James loved Harry and wouldn't mind having more children in the future, a new baby at a time like this was simply out of the question. They were in hiding while being chased by Lord Voldemort. If Lily found out she was pregnant during that time, it would ruin all of their carefully made plans.

“So you'll be okay?” James asked just to make sure he understood.

Lily laughed. “Yes, James, I'll be fine just as soon as this stupid war is over.”

He sat down on the floor next to the couch where she was lying and rested his back against it. Lily began absently playing with his hair like she used to do when they were dating at Hogwarts. She would try for hours to get it to lie flat but never succeeded. Eventually, it became something to calm her nerves rather than actually having a purpose.

“Do you remember,” James said so suddenly that it startled Lily. “That time I ran away from home the summer before fifth year, and I somehow ended up at your house?”

Lily nodded. “I still don't know how you figured out where I lived.”

He paused to think. “I don't remember. I don't think I knew for sure, but I had an idea because of something you had said earlier that year. After that I was just guessing, but I guessed right.”

“Why did you come to my house?” she asked. “Why didn't you go to Sirius or Remus's house?”

“Because Sirius's Mum scares the hell out of me. You couldn't pay me to go into that house. I went once when I was about twelve or thirteen, and I didn't think I'd ever get out alive. I thought that either Mrs. Black would slip something into my drink or the house elf would kill me in my sleep or Sirius would accidentally throw something sharp at my head while aiming at his brother. Sirius's house was definitely out of the question, and it was a full moon at the time, so I couldn't go to Remus's house either. I don't care much for Peter's Mum either for that matter. She's not scary like Mrs. Black, but she's scary in her own way. When I met her for the first time, I made the mistake of introducing myself as Peter's friend, James Potter, and she nearly suffocated me. I think she was just happy to see that Peter had friends, but she was so happy that I didn't want to see what would happen if I asked to spend the night for a while. So the only other person I could think of visiting was you, Evans. Lucky you.”

Lily laughed at being called by her maiden name. It was something James did when they were talking about the time before they had started dating.

“Could you imagine my surprise when I was woken up by someone knocking at my window only to open the curtains and see that it was you? I nearly had a heart attack,” Lily said with a smile.

“You should have seen your face.”

“And remember how angry my dad was the next morning when he found out that you had slept in my room that night?”

James shivered visibly at the memory.

“Merlin, do I remember,” he muttered. “You didn't hear the lecture he gave me about responsibility and not having the nerve to at least introduce myself to him before `doing improper things with his daughter' as he put it. We were only fifteen. I don't know why he jumped to such conclusions.”

Lily laughed. “Daddy was always very protective of Petunia and me. It took me forever to convince him that I had made you sleep in the bathtub. I don't know why I stood up for you. It probably had something to do with not losing my father's trust. That was really important to me.”

“I understand. I didn't mind getting that speech as much as I made it seem. I think that's when I first started to realise how I felt about you.”

He leaned his head back to see Lily's reaction to this. She looked down at his from where she was sitting.

“Really?” she whispered.

He nodded.

She started to laugh. “That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard before in my life, James Potter! I happen to know that you didn't stop being mean to me until the end of sixth year. If you realised your feelings for me the summer before fifth year, why did it take you a year and a half to act like you meant it?”

“I was stupid,” James said simply, unable to hide a grin. “I'm sorry.”

Lily opened her mouth to respond, but never got a chance to make another comment.

There was the soft, distinct sound of footsteps on the sidewalk leading up to their front door. She had to strain her ears to hear it, but she recognised the sound immediately, and by the look on his face, James did, too.

Lily's heart sank. She knew it wasn't one of their friends dropping by to say hello. They were in hiding. Something told her it wasn't a Muggle who had lost his way either. It was definitely more serious than that. This was it.

And then as though he sensed something wrong, too, Harry's eyes flew open, and he began to cry.

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3. Chapter Three

Illumination

Summary: Forced into hiding, Lily and James trust a friend with their lives and the life of their son but are ultimately betrayed. Helpless and cut off from the rest of the world, their last few days together are the most trying of all.

Disclaimer: The characters and plot and everything else belong to JK Rowling.

A/N: This is the last chapter. Sorry it took so long to post. I hope you've enjoyed this story.

Thanks for reading,

Cat

Chapter Three

Like the Potters, Sirius Black had been growing restless in hiding. He had arranged to meet with Peter a week after the Fidelius Charm was put in place. It was no secret that Peter was a bit of a coward, so Sirius had decided that these weekly meetings were necessary to ensure that Wormtail did not have a nervous breakdown.

He mounted his flying motorcycle and left his hiding place in search of his friend. The motorbike was one of his most prized possessions. He had bought it from a rather shady character, but he had been sure there was nothing wrong with it. People were constantly telling him that it was a pointless thing to own in the Wizarding world where Apparation and Floo powder got you to your destination almost instantly while his motorbike took as long as a Muggle automobile, but Sirius didn't care. He could see the world on his motorbike. It was so much more pleasant than zipping here and there by Floo network and only seeing fireplaces as you go, and for that reason alone he would never dream of getting rid of the bike.

Of course, when the need arose, magic was always available to speed up the ride.

But tonight Sirius did not see the need to hurry. Peter would not be leaving his hiding place anytime soon, and they had not set a time for Sirius's arrival. So he sat back and let his motorbike take him to Peter's hideout at a leisurely pace.

Sirius had been in hiding for a week as well, but there really was no need for it other than to throw Voldemort off. Peter needed to be hiding just in case someone realised that he was the Potters' Secret-Keeper, but Sirius was in hiding to make Voldemort think that he was the Secret-Keeper. He would be the most obvious person for the job, and if he kept out of the public eye for long enough, someone who had been told to pay attention would be sure to notice and assume that he was the one. If Peter was absent from public areas, it would take months, if not longer, for someone to realise it. Sirius's only fear was that Remus would notice that they were both missing and report it to Lord Voldemort. Of course, everyone had been avoiding Remus for so long that it would be hard for him to notice if either Sirius or Peter were not around anymore.

Sirius felt stupid. He and the others had trusted Remus. They had been the Marauders at Hogwarts, and had changed their lives to protect him and keep him company in his time of need. Now, what seemed like such a simple thing at the time was coming back to punch them in the face. Because they had befriended Remus, Lily, James, and Harry were in danger, and Peter and Sirius were forced into hiding to save them. It was so ironic that Sirius felt he could have laughed if he wasn't so disgusted by it.

The trip to Peter's hideout from Sirius's was not very long, and he arrived soon enough. Peter was staying in a small cabin they had managed to find in the mountains in some remote location. It was so far away from civilization that nobody would think to look there for a house, and it was so hard to get to that you almost needed magic to reach it. It was the perfect hiding place. Peter was safe there, and as long as he was safe, so were Lily and James.

Sirius parked his motorbike in front of the house and approached the front door. He hoped he wouldn't startle Peter too badly by knocking, but before he got a chance to think too much about it, he noticed that the front door was slightly ajar.

“Peter?” he called, pushing the door open enough to see inside.

The one-room cabin was dark and empty. Sirius could see that much from the door. He stepped into the house and looked around, lighting his wand to get a better look. Everything looked normal. The bed was made, the dishes were clean, and Peter's clothes were neatly put away in his trunk. All in all, nothing would appear to be wrong to anyone other than Sirius, who knew that the house should not be like it was. Peter should have been there or there should have been some sign of a struggle, but everything was neat and clean, and Peter was nowhere in sight.

“Peter!” Sirius called out once more, desperate for some sign that nothing was wrong.

For the second time, nobody answered.

Suddenly, the seriousness of the matter hit him like a ton of bricks, and he began to search the house frantically for Peter. He overturned furniture and emptied the cabinets, but eventually he had to admit that his friend was not there.

Panicked and afraid of what would happen, Sirius ran back outside and searched around the house for Peter. Still no luck.

As much as he didn't want to believe it, there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that perhaps Peter had betrayed Lily and James, but he quickly dismissed it. Peter had always been a good and loyal friend. He would be one of the last people to betray them.

But still…

Sirius hopped back on his motorbike and headed straight for Godric's Hollow. He needed to prove to himself that the Potters were safe. If he could find it, it would mean that the secret was no longer protected, and that Lily and James were no longer safe.

Assuring himself that everything was probably fine, he left, hoping that he wouldn't be able to find his destination.

- - - -

“James,” Lily whispered as she rushed over and scooped Harry up to comfort him. “What should we do?”

James motioned for her to keep quiet and looked out the window.

The footsteps had gotten closer and closer until they had stopped.

“It's him!” James cried. “Lily, take Harry and run. I'll hold him off down here.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but James cut her off before she could say anything.

“Go!” he hissed. “Take care of Harry. I'll be fine.”

Lily, with Harry on her shoulder, stumbled from the room just as the front door was blown off its hinges. She clutched Harry tightly and refused to look back. She turned and locked herself in the first room she came to at the top of the stairs - the nursery.

Setting Harry down in his crib, Lily practically collapsed on the floor. She was living her worst nightmare. He was in her house, and he was threatening her family, yet there was nothing she could do about it. With a wave of nausea, she realised that if Voldemort followed her up to the nursery it meant that James was dead.

She quickly fought down the urge to vomit and steadied herself. If these were her last few minutes alive, she wanted to spend them fighting for her life and for Harry's. What she didn't want was to be remembered as the foolish woman who vomited on Lord Voldemort as he tried to kill her. Lily hoped against hope that James would succeed in driving him out of their house. After all, the two of them had managed to escape from Voldemort three times before, but they had been lucky, and Lily had a feeling that their luck had worn off.

Something clicked and the door swung open slowly. It was very different from when the front door had been blown down minutes before, and Lily momentarily thought that it was James coming to tell her everything was safe. Unfortunately, it wasn't James standing in the doorway but Voldemort himself.

Lily rose from the floor and placed herself directly in front of Harry. She wasn't afraid anymore. A courage she hadn't known she had had replaced the nausea, and she was prepared to give her life for Harry's.

- - - -

Dumbledore had ways of keeping tabs on Order members. He knew immediately when something had gone wrong. Unfortunately, the message always came after something happened, and it was always too late to do something about it. He also knew just about everything else that went on in the Wizarding world as it happened.

That Halloween night, he had just returned to his office from the school feast when he received news that there had been an attack on the Potters. Immediate investigation by way of Fawkes, his phoenix, told him that Lily and James were dead and that Harry was still alive.

He acted right away. Hurrying through the school and across the grounds, he found Hagrid, still in a festive mood from the feast.

“Hagrid,” Dumbledore said gravely. “I have a job for you to do.”

He proceeded to explain everything as quickly as possible, not wanting to waste time. It didn't take long for Hagrid to become as grave as Dumbledore.

“I want you to go immediately to Godric's Hollow by whatever means possible,” the headmaster continued. “Retrieve Harry Potter and bring him straight to me.” He handed him a piece of parchment. “This is the address of the place where you will find me.”

Hagrid nodded and wasted no time in leaving.

Dumbledore stood by the hut in silence and looked at the castle. Inside, students were settling down to sleep after the feast. Lily and James had been students there once, and he remembered them well. Hogwarts would never see a pair of students like them again, but he knew Harry Potter would be special.

He could feel that something more than what he knew had happened at Godric's Hollow that night. There had to be a reason Harry was still alive. Dumbledore knew for a fact that Voldemort knew about the prophecy. It didn't make sense that he would let the child live after hearing it.

With a deep sigh, the old, bearded man headed back to the castle. There was much to do, and the first thing would be to find out exactly what happened. For that, he would need to find Sirius Black.

Even Dumbledore was human. He couldn't know everything. If he did, it would have saved many innocent lives.

- - - -

Sirius landed in front of the Potter house in Godric's Hollow and let his motorbike fall to the ground carelessly. The house was in ruins, but maybe somebody was still alive. Maybe he wasn't too late. Just the fact that he could find the house was not very assuring, but he was determined to remain as optimistic as possible. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy at all.

He made his way through the rubble, seeing photos and china and other objects every now and then. These things, though there were few that were still completely in tact, made Sirius worry that perhaps his worst fears had come true.

Had Peter really betrayed the Potters? Were Lily, James, and Harry still safe? Could anyone have survived the devastation?

The sound of someone else walking through the rubble brought him back to his senses.

“Who's there?” he said loudly.

Any thoughts that it was Lily or James were immediately dismissed when Sirius saw the size of the gigantic shadow that approached him. He instantly recognized the person.

“Sirius?” came Hagrid's deep voice.

“Yeah, it's me,” he replied. “I'm over here.”

Hagrid stepped over a chair and made his way over to Sirius who had lit his wand tip by then. Through the darkness, Sirius could see that Hagrid was holding something.

“What's that?” he asked.

“Oh.” Hagrid lowered what turned out to be a bundle of blankets to Sirius's level.

Sirius gasped when he saw what was inside the blankets. Harry was sleeping peacefully and looked to be perfectly fine, save for the large gash across his forehead.

“Is he alright?” he asked. “How did he survive? Are Lily and James alright, too?”

Hagrid heaved a great sigh and sniffed loudly.

“No,” he said quietly. “They're over there. Dumbledore gave me orders to retrieve Harry an' bring him to him at this address.” He showed Sirius they address, but Sirius barely looked at it.

“Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather. That's how Lily and James would have wanted it.”

“Sorry, Sirius, but Dumbledore's given me orders, an' I have to follow them. I'm to bring him straight there. Yeh'll have to take it up with him if yeh want Harry.”

Sirius cast his eyes down and visibly deflated. In only a matter of minutes, he had lost two of his best friends and quite possibly every other friend he had, and he had been denied custody of his godson. For the first time in his life, he felt weak and useless. Harry didn't have any relatives that Sirius knew of. What was Dumbledore playing at, bringing him to some stranger? He was Harry's godfather, and he knew for a fact that he would make a wonderful guardian for the boy.

In a sudden and unexpected flashback to his Hogwarts days, Sirius remembered that Lily had a sister. He remembered James telling him about her and how she was mean to Lily for being a witch. Then he remembered that the dreadful woman had gone and married some Muggle. Those must have been the relatives Dumbledore was going to leave Harry with. But he couldn't.

“Hagrid, you have to give Harry to me,” Sirius pleaded desperately. “I am his godfather. He should be given to me to take care of.”

But Hagrid was firm on what he had been told to do. He wouldn't let Sirius have the baby.

Sirius was defeated, and he knew it. Suddenly, something Hagrid had said finally reached his ears.

“Hagrid?” he said quietly. “Where are Lily and James?”

The gamekeeper led him over to where the two bodies lay, not far apart. James was covered with more rubble than Lily was, which meant that he must have been on the ground floor at the time.

“Oh, Merlin.”

Sirius fell to his knees by his best friend and felt tears well up in his eyes. It was then that everything really hit him. Lily and James were gone, and he would never see them again. He knew that they would want him to take care of Harry, but suddenly he didn't feel worthy to even look at their son. It was his fault they were dead. He should have been their Secret-Keeper, not Peter. Peter had probably been working for Voldemort for years and had handed over the Potters' hiding place just as easily as if he did it every day.

A heavy hand on Sirius's shoulder made him realize what he had to do. Lily and James weren't there to defend themselves, and Harry was much too small. Nobody else knew the entire story, not even Dumbledore, and it would take too long to explain it to anyone. Peter could escape by then and it would be too late. Something had to be done immediately, and he had to be the one to do it.

“Take my motorbike,” he said softly to Hagrid. “It will get you to Dumbledore faster. I won't be needing it anymore.”

Hagrid nodded.

“It came from over here!” someone called.

Sirius extinguished his wand light as a couple of Muggles approached quickly down the sidewalk.

“Go,” he hissed. “Before too many of them get here.”

Hagrid nodded again and turned to leave with Harry.

“I'm sorry, Sirius,” he called back. “I'll miss them, too.” Then he left.

“Oh my god!” a Muggle cried suddenly. “The whole house is gone. It must have collapsed or something.”

“It was a nice house,” another one said. “Maybe it was struck by lightning.”

“Lightning on a clear night like this?”

Sirius looked up at the sky. It was a clear night. That would make it easy for Hagrid to find his way. But wait a moment. Something in the sky made him do a double take, or rather, the lack of something in the sky made him do a double take.

It was common knowledge that Voldemort always left the Dark Mark above the houses of his victims, but there was no glowing green skull above the Potter house that night. That was rather strange, and now that he thought about it, Sirius had never heard of Voldemort destroying the house after killing his victims. It didn't seem right.

“Do you think anyone could have survived?” one of the Muggles asked.

Sirius looked around and realized that they were growing in number. He took the opportunity to slip into the crowd. He didn't want to be seen and mistaken as a survivor or as the cause of the accident.

But he very well was the cause of the accident. Lily and James would not have died if he hadn't convinced them to use Peter as their Secret-Keeper. He felt like the worst person to ever walk the face of the Earth. He didn't deserve to live.

Sirius managed to make it back to the street, behind the crowd of Muggles. As the tears finally began to flow freely down his cheeks, he caught a glimpse of Lily with her wand still clutched in her hand. He had to do this - for Lily and James.

Everything would be set right again, even if he had to die like they did to be sure of it. Harry would grow up in good home with wonderful people in a safe world where there was no threat of war and dark wizards. Sirius would make sure of that. He would fight this war by himself if he had to, and he would kill every Death Eater he could find.

And he knew just the rat to start with.

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