Stuck in Reverse

Remember Summer of Seventh Year

They had been dancing together on the floor of the Great Hall. Without a care in the world Harry had deftly twirled her around till she was breathless and grinning at him. A blush crept onto both their cheeks as their feet tangled dancing back and forth. The music pulsated and one would have been hard-pressed to find a happier couple than the two who danced unaware of those around them. Their best friend in the world watched as they swayed and tangoed, waltzed and bopped, to the various harmonies produced by 3LW (Three Little Witches). No one knew but the boy who currently held his best friend in his arms that he had fallen in love with her. So clichéd, so overdone, and so unbearably true. Her lips brushed his ear as she whispered,

“Thanks for the dance.” He smiled at her and watched her walk away to talk and laugh with her other friends. A stone sat in his stomach at the thought of her dancing with someone else. Before he could see this tragedy come to life, he left the Hall and headed for home wanting to put this night in his pensieve. Someday he’d tell her, but for now he had the memory.

-----

Three Years Later

A red phone sitting on the dresser next to the bed nearly fell to the floor as the merry ringing echoed through apartment 49. A man with messy black hair and a toothbrush in hand half-heartedly picked up the phone and said,

“Hello?”

“Harry? It’s Hermione!” A grin found its way onto his face as he replied,

“Hey!” On the other end she smiled, his voice had drastically changed to that of the little boy she had known so long ago once he realized it was her.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over today. We could go shopping,” he pulled a face and she quickly said, “and don’t look so disappointed. We can pick up some Quidditch supplies too.” He marveled at how well she knew him and quickly answered,

“I would never pass up a chance to spend time with you.” Smiling she cradled the phone for a moment.

“Ok, I’ll see you in an hour or so?” He glanced at the bedside clock, it was 8:50.

“Yeah sure. At your house?”

“Yes. Bye then.”

“Bye,” he said as he carefully replaced on the phone on its stand. Going back to the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth, a wide grin could be seen on his handsome face. He was going to see Hermione.

He arrived at her house exactly 59 minutes later, excitement showing on his face. Ringing the doorbell he called,

“Hermione?” She opened the door slowly and when she saw it was him she grabbed his hand.

“Hi!” He said happily. Before she could do anything he had wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. She smiled and inhaled his personal scent.

“It’s good to see you.” He smiled and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.

“You too.” She recaptured his hand and led him into the living room. Flicking on the light it took him a moment to adjust his eyes. When he did he received the shock of his life.

“SURPRISE!” Suddenly out from the couches, the closets, the blankets, and the TV stand in Fred and George’s case jumped all of Harry’s friends and familiar classmates. He stood speechless for a moment as he drank the sight for a moment and was bombarded with people.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY!” It took Harry a moment to realize everything. It was his birthday? A small frown appeared on his face. He felt Hermione take his hand again and she stared at him, a smile lighting up her features.

“Happy birthday.” He glanced at her calendar in the entryway. Well what do you know, he thought to himself, it is my birthday. Grinning he pulled Ron into a hug as Lavender and Hermione disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to get food. Ron laughed as he said,

“You should’ve seen the look on your face! Zodiac moment!” Harry grinned,

“I think you mean Kodak moment Ron.” Ron just smiled and Harry shook his head. Cho, Padma, and Justin all wished him a happy birthday while Neville shook his hand and said,

“You’re 21 Harry. Can you believe it? 21!” Coming up behind him Dean eagerly stated,

“Which is why I brought this!” He pulled out from behind him four cases of beer and wine coolers. Harry merely watched as many of the guests went to get liquor. Popping into the kitchen he found Hermione and Lavender putting the last of the candles into the cake. Suddenly from behind him came Ginny wheeling him back into the living room.

“Harry,” she chided, “you can’t see it yet!” He couldn’t seem to stop smiling as he hugged her and headed back to the rest of the guests. In only a few moments Hermione came out holding the cake in her hands.

“Blow out the candles and make a wish.” She said smiling. He already knew what to wish for. He had been wishing for it ever since the night of the dance. Quenching the flames he received many back-slaps and pats. Dean still sipping a beer belched loudly as five different girls admonished him. Lavender cut the cake and Fred cut the cheese.

“Gross George, that’s sick!”
“Wasn’t me Gin!” cried out George, “That was a Fred Fart.” Harry couldn’t help but laugh at the madness.

The party ended sooner than Harry had hoped. He helped Hermione clean up the trash (“Oh Harry! It’s your birthday!”) while Neville stayed to put the cake away. He came up behind Hermione, and Harry watched in shock as he fondly kissed her temple.

“Bye love, see you later.” Hermione looked up to see Harry watching and wasted no time blushing.

“Yeah, did I tell you? I started dating Neville two weeks ago…” she trailed off and Harry stood frozen in time with a bag of trash in his hands. When he finally became coherent again he replied,

“Oh.” They finished cleaning in silence. When they were done, Harry noticed that it was only three o’clock. Before he could suggest anything Hermione stated,

“Well, it’s your birthday. What else do you want to do?” He smiled and scooped her into his arms. She gasped in surprise and he hugged her as if he wanted to never let go.

“You’ve done enough, really. This party was fantastic.” He let her go and she smiled at him,

“Nonsense. Today is Harry-day. What do you want to do?” Grinning at her he answered,

“Well if you insist…”

The rest of the day was spent browsing through Quality Quidditch Supplies, going for a quick swim at the beach, and riding on the Ferris wheel several times at the local carnival. When the evening came, Harry knew he had never been so happy. Reaching for her hand he whispered in her ear,

“This has been the best birthday ever. Thank you.” She turned toward him and standing at the exit of the carnival, hand in hand, he kissed her cheek and she wished him one more happy birthday. Happy didn’t even begin to describe it.

-----

4 Months Later

Harry awoke with a banging sensation in his head. The nights activities were fuzzy and took him several moments to remember. What had he been doing? Suddenly flashing images came to him of beer, Ron, the twins, and more beer. Groaning he rolled over and buried himself in his pillow. A knocking on the front door woke him up an hour later.

“Harry? Are you in there? Harry?” Not feeling particularly like entertaining, Harry wearily opened the door.

“What is it Ron?” Ron stood with a troubled look on his face.

“You’d better sit down.” Harry slowly sank into the kitchen chair as Ron studied his famous friend.

“You have to tell her.” There was a pause as Harry stared at Ron for a few moments.

“What are you talking…”

“You have to tell her how you feel.” His hints weren’t helping Harry at all and the splitting headache was becoming more and more painful.

“Ron, I honestly don’t know wha…”

“Hermione you dimwit!” He was staring at him now, and Harry suddenly understood.

“How do you know?” Ron sighed as if he was about to begin a long story that would actually turn out to be quite obvious.

“I had a suspicion so,” a guilty look crossed his face, “Igotyoudrunkandthenyoutoldme.”

“WHAT?” Harry’s eyes blazed as he stood up pushing his chair back. “You did WHAT?”

“Harry listen,” Ron had stood up now too, “I just needed to know. I mean, I feel really guilty but I knew it all along! You have to tell her!.” Harry was already walking back to his room,

“No way. Never. Not. Ever.”

“Harry…” but Ron’s voice was fading as Harry shut the door to his room. He flopped back onto the bed and put his thumbs up to his temples. The pounding in his head didn’t stop for a moment. Standing up he walked over to his desk and pulled out his pensieve. Staring at it he watched the blurry images shift back and forth. Seeing a familiar image he gently broke the surface of the liquid substance and was sucked in. As soon as he was in the ringing in his head stopped and his breath caught in his throat. There was Hermione, standing directly in front of him. She was wearing her marvelous dress robes and it took him a moment to realize that he had been sucked into fourth year, the night of the ball. She looked fabulous. He stared as she took Viktor’s arm and happily proceeded towards the dance. He was about to follow when someone yanked him out of his memory.

That someone was Ron.

“Ron, what are you…?”

“Harry you have to stop!”

“Stop what?” The head banging was back and he didn’t feel like continuing this conversation. “I thought we finished this.”

“No, YOU finished this. WE are not done talking.” He sighed again and Harry sat back down on his bed. She was so beautiful. And so not his.

“Harry you love her right?” He paused and then nodded. There was no use denying it. “Then you’ve got to stop living in your memories.” He pointed towards the pensieve. “Everyday you stick yourself in the past, trying to relive those moments with her. Don’t you think that instead of living in the old ones, you should try to make new ones?” Harry stared at Ron.

“You don’t get it. She DOESN’T LIKE ME like that.” Ron stood up and paced the room for a moment.

“Ok, I’m don’t usually give these lectures but listen.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Even if she doesn’t like you, it’s worth a shot. I mean, so what, she’s been dating Neville. Well guess what, Neville hardly spends any time with her.” Harry’s eyes widened. “That’s right. So tell her!” Of course, Harry immediately got the wrong idea and jumped up, throwing on his clothes.

“That’s the spirit Harry.” Ron grinned and then suddenly his face fell, “Harry?” Harry had an angry gleam in his eye,

“I’m gonna kill Neville!”

“No Harry!” Ron tore after Harry as he ran from his flat out onto London’s streets. “Harry!” Before he could catch up Harry had apparated away. Muttering darkly to himself he quickly followed suit and soon all that was left of the two men were their shouting echoes in the air.

-----

Harry reached Hermione’s house in no time at all. Bursting into the door he scanned the room. Ron appeared a moment later.

“Harry don’t!” Suddenly Hermione came out of the bedroom, hair wet, dressed in khaki shorts and a white blouse. Harry stopped and his eyes softened. Ron watched as his best friend literally fell in love with his other best friend all over again.

“Harry?” she asked questioningly. She looked at Ron who only shrugged his shoulders and then disappeared into the living room to flop down onto the couch. Harry was still too busy with the fact that Hermione was standing in front of him. The thought crossed his mind, this is going into the pensieve, but he quickly stopped it. Ron was right. He was living in the past. From that he quickly made a decision.

“Hermione, I…wanted to tell you something.” She still looked surprised but a small smile appeared on her face. Harry felt his insides melting and suddenly knew that he had to do this. They were standing in the hallway and Hermione uncertainly looked back at her room.

“Do you want to talk in there?” She gestured towards the open door and he nodded, exhausted at the range of emotions he had just gone through. Once he was in her room he knew it had been a dire mistake. The room encompassed everything Hermione and Harry felt his heart race. The scent, the books, and Crookshanks all sat in her room as if they had been there ever since the beginning of time. His mouth went dry and he quickly licked his lips.

“I wanted to say, or actually, I want to tell you that…” He trailed off and Hermione took a step towards him and took hold of his hands. God, she didn’t have to make this harder.

“What is it?” He looked straight into her eyes and knew that if he didn’t tell her now, he would never be able to. Ron’s words rung in his head, stop living in the past. So he said it.

“I love you.” She stared at him and a second later let go of his hand and turned away.

“Oh Harry…” He grabbed her hand again and turned her around.

“No, I really do. I honestly love you.” He said quickly, “There’s no way I could ever describe all the things I love about you. I know you’re dating Neville, and I could never expect you to drop him, but I love you.” He had only wanted to tell her, but now he realized he was desperate for a consoling touch, or comforting word. He dropped to his knees still holding her hand. And yet something inside of him knew that it was all in vain.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, “I love you.” And then he kissed her palm and stood up. She was staring at him and before he could hear her words of pity, he apparated away to a place where he could live in his memories in peace.

-----

Only after he had gone did Hermione feel the tears dripping down her cheeks. She walked out of her room to find Ron still lying on her couch. He took one look at her and knew.

“He told you.” She nodded and sat down on the couch, sobbing into her friend’s arms, although it was another friend that she wished were there.

“He’s loved you for a long time,” Ron said softly, “I don’t want to make you feel guilty, or have to choose, but I don’t think you’ll find a guy better than Harry.” And the thing was, Hermione later thought while sitting in her room and contemplating whether or not to call him, was that you really couldn’t.

-----

It took her two weeks to work up the courage to do two things. The first, although hard, was nothing compared to the second. She had to break up with Neville. She knew things were already on the rocks and they weren’t going anywhere. When she told him the news during dinner, he calmly took her hand and told her he knew it too. He hugged her and wished her the best of luck and was completely business about it. She sincerely hoped that one day Neville would find someone as task-oriented as he was.

The second was to find Harry. She still wasn’t quite sure what she would do when she found him, but she did know that she wanted to see him. Scratch that, she needed to see him. She tried everywhere she could think of. Ron’s flat, the Burrow, Sirius’ old place, and even Hogwarts, but to no avail. She had been to Harry’s several times and only after a tip off from Ron did she finally find him.

She carefully walked into his room and saw what Ron had been telling her for weeks. Harry’s pensieve. It sat on his desk and without thinking touched it and was soon immersed in his thoughts. To her amazement, the memory she flew into was of her. It was of the dance they had shared a little over three years ago. She remembered how happy she had been, but now she saw it in Harry’s eyes. She watched him as he dipped her, how his face was alight with happiness. She saw how when she whispered something to him there was mixed look of anguish and love in his eyes. So that’s how it started, she thought quietly to herself. And then she saw him. Harry Potter. He was standing watching the same scene himself. Before she knew what had happened he had disappeared. Quickly mucking herself out of the pensieve she came back to the real world just in time to see Harry disappear into the kitchen. She followed and smoothly slid up behind him. Slowly she placed her hands on his lower back and then wrapped them around his waist. She could feel the adrenaline pumping through her and the thrill at the sparks of electricity that seemed to set her on fire when she touched him. She heard him gasp and turn around. His eyes looked sad when he saw her.

“Hermione.” It was one word with a thousand emotions. She took one hand away from him to place it against his lips.

“I want you in the present.” She said softly. He stared at her. What did she mean? His heart ached and he couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t let go of him. In fact, why was her arm suddenly encircling him even tighter. Her face was coming dangerously close and alarm bells were going off in his head.

“I can’t.” He answered in a whisper. Her hand had been removed from his mouth and he stared at her, he wanted to hold her and tell her all over again how in love with her he was. Although he had said he couldn’t, his eyes spoke volumes. She looked and saw the boy who was so afraid of being rejected. She refused to let him live in his memories, there were far better things to do. So without another word, she kissed him.

His train of thoughts rapidly stopped as he felt a pair of sweet lips come in contact with his own. The breath he had been holding came out and sudden his arms were around her waist and her own hands had slid up around his neck. He gave in to the numerous sensations and quickly decided that Hermione tasted better than anything in the world. They were kissing and nothing had ever felt more right. He pressed her ever closer to his body and let his palms enjoy the smooth curves of her hips. When they broke apart for air she leaned in and tickled his ear with her hot breath.

“I love you too.” And then they were kissing again into the night, uncaring of whatever else was going on at the moment. Only knowing that what they were sharing was something more powerful than any magic they had ever conjured or would.

-----

The next day Harry, against Hermione’s complaints, threw away his pensieve.

“But Harry! What if you need it for someth…” He silenced her with a kiss and she melted against his chest.

“I don’t need it anymore,” he said smiling at her, “I have you.” She let the corners of her mouth turn upward into a crooked smile.

“That’s very sweet but what if…” He kissed her again and she lightly hit him in the chest.

“I’m trying to argue with you! I can’t if you keep…” But he was at it again and Hermione decided that it wasn’t such a bad way to end an argument. Although he knew that she would never admit she was wrong, Harry grinned as his lips left hers. The pensieve shattered as it hit the pavement and the fuzzy images blew away with the wind. One thing was for certain, and that was that he would spend much more time in the now, rather then the then. As if coming to a conclusion about his thoughts, Hermione tugged on his shirt, pulling him into the house.

“C’mon Harry, if you’re in a cleaning mood there’s much more to be done. I need space for my things!” Groaning he let himself be dragged into his flat, still holding tight onto Hermione’s hand.

“Wait, your things?” She grinned at him and ran into the flat.

“Of course, what do you think? I’m moving in!”

-----

(A/N: I really have no idea how a pensieve works. If I was a true Potter-head I’d look it up, sorry about that.)