The world as we know it is wrong

mathildabear

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Mystery
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 14/08/2006
Last Updated: 29/05/2007
Status: in_progress

For the wizarding world as a mass there would always be their savoir...Harry Potter. But to a handful of people there would always be the person that saved Harry Potter his daughter. Followed her as she goes through a very untraditional seventh year at Hogwarts. The same year her parents graduated is the same year she did. Why exactly did she have to go back in time? And will she change too many events that she won't be able to go back to her own future?

Chapters

1. All over some tea

2. Pictures come with bad memories too

3. Mingle me silly

4. the stars are bright during the day

5. Me and them and boggarts

6. Purity is changing

7. Potter equals hospitals

8. Souls

9. Gazing at rafters and stars

10. 48 HOURS...maybe

11. S for Suffering S for Silence

1. All over some tea

It was September first, and it was early. Someone knocked on my door and then entered. It was my mother; she has this habit of humming while she walks into my room so I knew it was her without even opening my eyes. Try as I might I couldn't fight her humming from entering my dream world and waking me up.

“Mum,” I say as I clear my throat. “I'm trying to get some sleep. It is after all four in the morning.” I glance at my alarm clock as if it would magically change time and say I was late.

“Honey, you have to get up, it's time.” Her voice is soothing with an undercurrent of hysteria to it. The undercurrent of hysteria makes me bolt awake and I take in my mother's face. It was time. “Go shower and I'll get your things ready for your trip.”

I leave the room with one glance back and see my mother hugging my old tattered teddy bear that my dad had given my when I was born. This image stayed with me through the quickest shower I have ever taken, and as I descended down the stairs of our house I could see that me and my parents were the only ones awake on this early morning.

“She should eat something,” My mum fretted as soon as I sat down at the kitchen isle. “I'll go make some eggs…”

My dad reached out and grabbed my mum's hand and shook his head. “No food will only make everything worse.”

Suddenly I began to panic for I knew that once I was sent I was going to forget until it was time to remember, and I didn't know how long before the tea was going to wear off. What about school, my friends, what would I do come Christmas time, who was I to call if something went wrong, did anyone know what was going to happen, what if I screwed everything up? My dad must have sensed my inner panic for he gave my shoulder a quick squeeze, and brushed my auburn hair back from my face.

“Calm down,” his voice carried through my mind a message of calm. “Take a deep breath. We've explained everything you need to know to you. You know all the stories, and the only stuff we've left out is the stuff we can't fill in. So here is your bag. It has some essentials in it for when you get there.” He handed me my leather backpack and I tried to take a deep breath but only succeeded in yawning.

“Why can't I go for her,” Mum's voice hit that pitch it usually did when she was about to cry.

“Mum you know why. Now you just have to let me do this. I'll come back I promise.” With those words I saw my parents exchange a glance that I couldn't read. “So hand me over that tea and let's get on with this.”

My mum's hands shook as she poured me my tea, adding something extra to it, and handed it to me. Just as I was about to take a sip she stopped me. “Remember it is okay to change history.” And with that I took one last look at my mother's face and my father's smile and drank the tea.

The pain was unbearable. It felt like my whole body was spinning in four different directions. I could feel my presence leaving my parents and then turning and going into the distance. I knew my body was following, and I felt myself let out a silent scream as my body met up with my presence. Quickly, afterward, I slammed into the cold hard ground. My nose jammed into some soft grass and my bag landed closely to my head. I wanted to groan, I wanted to puke, but most of all I wanted to cry. I was given the option of none of these as my arm was grabbed by something slime-y and with teeth, and I let out a scream of pain before succumbing into the darkness that had threatened to take me from the moment I smelt the tea my mother had given me.

It could have been hours later, but I knew by the shaking of the ground it was only seconds. Someone was approaching, but I was more focused on the queasy feeling in my stomach. Turning I dry heaved into the soft grass. As soon as I made to swipe my mouth I felt the thing that had bite me sniff my hair, and then run away.

“You have got to be kidding me I repel even dogs,” I mumbled as I tried to sit up but found I could not support my own weight. “This is it. This is my worse nightmare.” I said, and with that I rolled on to my back and looked up at the clear, sunny, sky, before I let sleep take me once more.

“I just found her on the ground, outside me hut.” A muffled voice cut through my nightmare. I try to give indication that I could hear them but I found my whole body was paralyzed.

“She could be…” the voice was joined by another

“I doubt it.”

“What about what was in her bag?”

“I can't get in it,” the voices had grown steadily louder and as the third one chimed in I felt something in me lift.

“Aunt Poppy,” I mumbled out into the darkness.

“She's awake.” The first voice chimed loud and clear inside my head and I fought down a cry of joy, Uncle Hagrid was here.

“Did she say Aunt Poppy?” And that was headmistress McGonagall. I had to open my eyes, I had to make sure it was them, and I had to tell them why I was early for the start of term feast.

“I can't move,” I managed to get out of my unbearably dry throat.

“We do need to un-paralyze her if we want to question her,” I could hear the rustling of Aunt Poppy reaching into her starched apron, and then with the swish of a slight breeze I felt my body spasm before settling down.

“Why am I being questioned? I didn't do anything wrong…Oh my god! Did something happen to mum and dad?” My eyes flashed open, something was wrong. I immediately sought out Aunt Poppy's face. She was looking at me like she had never seen me before. I, silently, began to panic.

“I'm afraid we don't know who your parents are?” I turned to look at Headmistress McGonagall. She had to be joking, but as I took in her grey eyes behind her square spectacles I knew she wasn't. “We don't even know who you are.”

Here I was sitting in the hospital wing at the coveted Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and the Headmistress didn't know her two favorite pupils. She didn't know me. Something was completely wrong. There was no way I was going to let them forget me. I didn't have the highest OWLs score for nothing, but I reasoned I would start with begging.
“Uncle Hagrid, please, tell them who I am?” I begged my half-giant godfather. “Aunt Poppy, you know me don't you?” I looked again at my godmother, the one who had taught me so many healing charms and potions I could have become a healer by the time I was twelve, but she looked just as confused as Uncle Hagrid. “This is insane,” I started to say but stop short as another spasm shook my body.

The pain was unbelievable. I felt my teeth hitting each other each time another jolt of energy went through my body. In the distance I could hear Aunt Poppy saying spell after spell trying to get my body to relax, but it wouldn't. It couldn't until the process was through. As suddenly as it started it stopped.

My auburn hair was plastered around my oval face, I was breathing like I had just run a marathon, and I knew my hazel eyes must have shown my exhaustion, but I remembered everything. I remembered the tea. The tea which had smelt like honey and polyjuice potion and tasted like dirt. I remembered that they wouldn't know anything.

“She needs to rest,” Aunt Poppy said as she started to usher the others out of the hospital wing.

“Wait,” I call out to them and they all halted. “What year is it?”

“Year?” Uncle Hagrid spoke up as if he thought I was dumb.

“Yes, I need to know. What year is it?”

“My dear,” Headmistress McGonagall walked over to me. Her eyes softened as she took in my face. At least she didn't think of me as a threat anymore. Now I was just a girl with amnesia in her eyes. “It is 1997.”

As she said this I sunk back into the pillows. This was my parents seventh year at Hogwarts. This was the year everything happened.

“Once she is better send her up to my office. She will need to be sorted.” McGonagall took in my face as she said this and I carefully kept it blank. “This I believe is yours.” She handed me my bag and then with a turn she left the wing.

Aunt Poppy gave a huff of annoyance before she went into her office. She came out seconds later bear a cup of what I judged to be Pepper-Up potion by the steam coming off the cup. I silently thanked her and downed the potion in record time. “You can leave in five minutes time. Hagrid will take you up to the Headmistress's office.”

I heard the clicking of her heels all the way to her office as I felt the potion starting to make my body become energized. Quickly I opened my bag, which was charmed to open by my touch only, and pulled out a trunk that looked like it belonged in a doll house and one ash wand. I took off the charm on my trunk and began rifling through it. Everything was there. My mom had truly thought of everything. She had included her old school books, an advance set of potion ingredients, and my dad's old firebolt. Along with all my school supplies where several sets of robes bearing the crest of Gryffindor and one bearing the crest of Ravenclaw. I knew she was trying to be thoughtful by including my old house robes in with the new ones but it just made me homesick. Casually I took out the plain black robe and put it on over my jeans and t-shirt. No use in making them ask more questions, I thought. Checking the time I saw I could leave and hastily stuffed everything back into my trunk and re-shrunk it before stuffing it back into my bag.

“Ready?” Uncle Hagrid asked as I appeared around the drawn curtain. I nodded to him and tried to look like I had no clue where I was going. This was going to be one hell of a seventh year, I thought as I silently followed my silent godfather out of the hospital wing and into the hollowed halls of Hogwarts.

Ten minutes later I was standing on a spiral moving staircase going up to Headmistress's McGonagall's office. As I reached the top I braced myself for any changes that were going to be, and then I knocked.

“Come in,” I entered the room and sat down at my usual seat across from her desk and diagonal from the sorting hat on the right part of her circular office. She raised one eyebrow at me before pulling out a tin and pushing it towards me. “Have a biscuit.” After I had eaten three she said, “I want to know who you are and what you are doing here.”

“Before I tell you…” I swallowed the last bit of biscuit and smiled softly at her. “I need you to promise me that what I tell you will stay only in this room.”

“You have my word,” she spoke.

Up until that moment I had barely glanced at the multiple pictures on the walls of her office but now I carefully made sure all the occupants were in their frames. I could tell that they weren't sleeping and were carefully listening to every word I was saying. “I need you to promise.”

“I just said you have my word.”

“Not you, Professor McGonagall,” And with that I waved my hand to the walls. “I need the old headmasters of the school to promise me they won't say anything to anyone neither.” At this the whole room went quiet. The snoring that was usually present had stopped, and all the pictures had awoken with their eyes locked on me.

“You have our word,” I turned to the portrait that spoke. There sitting on a regal throne was Albus Dumbledore. Graciously I smiled up at him, and then turned to look at the one Headmaster I knew would speak unless giving incentive not to.

“And what say you Phineas Nigellus?”

“Dumbledore just said you have our word.”

“But do I have your word as a member of the house of Black?”

“The last of my house is dead,” he narrowed his eyes at me. I smiled back up at him and then pulled back my robe to reveal what lay on my right wrist. He saw the gleam of the bracelet of the House of Black a gift my father had given to me for my seventeenth birthday. A gift he said would come in handy very shortly and now I knew its purpose. “Yes you have my word.”

“I suppose I should start at the beginning,” Sheepishly I turned back to look at a stunned Professor McGonagall. “My name is Jillian Albus Potter, and I'm seventeen years of age.”

“Potter?” She sputtered out at me.

“Yep, I'm a Potter and I've come from you from nineteen years into the future. I've always wanted to say that.” Grinning I looked up at her and I could see her reaching for her wand. “Okay let me see if I can prove this.” I began to search my brain for something that only she would know about. “I've got something. When Albus left Harry Potter on the Dursley's doorstep, after Lily and James Potter were murdered by Voldemort, you spent every summer until his eleventh year at Mrs. Figgs' house watching him in your animagus form.”

With my incredibly long sentence she put her wand on top of the table. “How did you know that?”

“Well, that's just the thing isn't it?” Grinning, I thought that this might not be as hard as I thought it was going to be.

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2. Pictures come with bad memories too

“You are truly from the future?” Her voice was faint, and for a second I thought that maybe she was going to change her mind and hex me, but she just sank further into her chair. It was at this moment that I realized just how old Professor McGonagall was. I blamed it all on Voldemort for he was the one that was the reason for everyone aging so quickly.

“Yes, Headmistress McGonagall. I'm from the year 2016. My parents sent me back here because I'm to help kill Voldemort. You see what most people think is that my dad is the savoir of the wizarding world, but as my mum is constantly telling me I'm my dad's savoir.”

“What? How? When?”

“I'm not allowed to tell you that.” I cringed even as I said it for she gave me her patented you'll be cleaning the trophy case with no magic every night for a month look.

“So, Harry does marry Ginny then?”

“What, Aunt Ginny? Oh no,” I said choking at that thought. Aunt Ginny and I had never gotten along, and the thought of having her as my mother was just plain disturbing.

“But the red hair, it is a Weasley trait,” She pointed out something I use to get all the time. It was an old joke of the whole family.

“No this came from my grandmother. My mum is Hermione Granger.”

“I think I'm going to need a drink,” she said as she conjured up a bottle of whiskey.

“I need to be sorted,” I said reminding her of one of the reasons I was here. “Oh and you are going to need this.” I pulled out a file from my bag as she poured herself a strong helping of the whiskey, “It's got my OWL results in it and some other school information that mum thought you might need. Oh and dad sent along my Hogsmead permission slip. He said it would come in handy. I swear they've been preparing me for this trip since I was born.”

She gentle put the folder and permission slip on her desk, stood up, and went over to the sorting hat. Gently picking it up she carried it over and slipped it on my head. I heard a startled grunt coming from the hat before I saw darkness.

“Ah another Potter…I see I once put you in Ravenclaw, but now you have learned all you could from that house and now you must go to another. I know it must be Gryffindor, but before we go I have to tell you something. All is not what it seems and choices shape our dreams. A good line, one I might work into the song tonight.”

With that I heard the hat shout out to the room Gryffindor. I took off the hat and placed it on the desk. “It says here you were a Ravenclaw.” During my chat with the hat Headmistress McGonagall had examined the contents of my folder.

“Yes ma'am. You should have seen my dad when he heard I got put in Ravenclaw. Well actually one day you will. He came up here and had a good long chat with the sorting hat, but I knew I was meant to be in Ravenclaw if only for a while. I knew I had to learn all I could. And then when my twin brothers were put in Slytherin he went off on another tangent. I'm just thankful we have mum to calm him down.”

“Twin brothers?”

“Yes, Mike and Adam. They will be going into their fourth year.” And with that I suddenly thought of something. “Kreacher,” I gasped and then in a more stern voice I called out to the deranged house-elf.

I heard two cracks and some scuffling at my feet. Quickly I pulled Dobby off of Kreacher. “Master called for…” He trailed off upon not seeing my father in the room.

“No I did,” I said as Dobby stopped struggling in my arms and looked up at me. “Kreacher you are in no way, shape, or form, to tell anyone that there is another Potter here at Hogwarts. That goes for you too, Dobby.”

“Another Potter?” Dobb's high pitched question drowned out Kreacher's mumbling.

Suddenly I felt incredibly drained from the day's events. “Yes and that is all you need to know. Now Kreacher go back and work with the other house elves in the kitchen without giving them any trouble.”

“Yes, master,” and with a deep bow he left.

I set Dobby down on the ground and sank into the chair. I felt incredibly weak and tired. I could barely hear what Headmistress McGonagall was saying and before I knew it I succumbed to the darkness that was trying to engulf me.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!” I watched as a tiny five year old me screamed for her father. He came running in to the overly pink bedroom only seconds after the second daddy. I could tell he was weary from lack of sleep and I guessed the twins must be going through their terrible two phase.

“What is it honey?” he asked as he sat down on my bed. “Did you have a bad dream?”

The tiny version of me whimpered and my father scooped me up into his arms. “How about a story? Let's see,” he started tapping his forehead just like Winnie-the-Pooh did and I let out a laugh. “How about when Uncle Ron and I and mum started our seventh year at Hogwarts.” This is when it all began. This is when the telling of my future and their future started to mix. This is when I started my training.

“As always we took the train to Hogwarts. We knew this year was going to be difficult. For one thing there was the evil Voldy-poo after us and well a stranger was melding in our mess and making sure we got everything right. Her name was Jillian.”

“Hey, that's my name.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure.”

“Well, if you're sure.”

I felt myself being shaken awake. As I opened my eyes I saw the ceiling of McGonagall's office blur in and out of focus. “Ugh,” my head was beginning to pound.

“We should have let you rest some more, I'm sorry, Jillian.” Sitting up I tried to clear the image of my father and me from my head, but I couldn't. It was then that it all hit me, I was alone in my parents past until I completed my task. My eyes burned with tears that I tried to blink back but instead they fell from my eyes.

“I can't do this,” I sobbed. “I'm not prepared. I'm not old enough. I'm not…I'm not them. I'm not him and I don't want to be.” My body was beginning to shake and I felt rather than saw McGonagall pulling me into a hug. “They just,” I tried to steady my breathing. “Just assumed that I would go through with this. They just assumed I was ready. Well, I'm not. I want my Mum.”

“There, there,” McGonagall rocked me back and forth as she let me slowly pull myself back together. “You aren't alone. I'm going to help you complete this task.”

It took several more minutes but I finally pulled myself together enough to stand up. “Where's Fawkes?” I asked as I rubbed my head.

“Dumbledore's phoenix hasn't been seen since the night Dumbledore was killed.” That was odd, I thought, surely mum mentioned Fawkes playing an important role this year. I just always assumed that the phoenix had gone with McGonagall because he was with her in my time. As I thought this I heard the most beautiful song coming from outside. With a flare for dramatics the phoenix we had just spoken of landed on my shoulder with a flash of fire.

“It seems Fawkes has chosen his new care giver.” McGonagall and I turned to look at the portrait of Dumbledore. “May he serve you well, Miss Potter.”

Twenty minutes later with orders to go directly back to the hospital wing I exited the headmistress's office with Fawkes on one shoulder and my bag hanging from the other. “I hope you don't plan on staying there the whole time because it is going to make sleeping rather difficult.” At this Fawkes let out a happy trill and I laughed, “Come one let's go get some sleep before everything begins tonight.

Tonight turned out to come quicker than I thought as Fawkes' trill woke me from a peaceful slumber. I saw the white walls of the hospital and heard the steps of someone approaching. Quickly, I picked up the book I was reading when I feel asleep and put it into my bag before Headmistress McGonagall came around the curtain.

“As you must already know it is very rare for Hogwarts to accept transfer students, but we do make exceptions. But you can not keep your name. I know you know it would cause too many questions about your parentage.”

To be honest I hadn't even thought about changing my name. Decidedly I made up my mind, “I'm keeping my first name. I don't want to change history too much. I'm named after my father's parents. And I suppose I can't go with my mother's maiden name because well she's here too. So…God, why didn't they tell me this?”

“Might I make a suggestion?” At this I noticed Aunt Poppy had entered my curtained off area. “You can use my last name. I'll just say you're my niece and your parents were recently killed by Death Eaters in France. You had no choice but to come and live with me.”

“Okay, Aunt Poppy.” I felt my spirits lift at the thought that one thing would stay the same. At least in one aspect I wouldn't have to be constantly trying to correct myself before speaking.

“Now, I don't want to see you in this hospital too often this year. And if you do come here it better be for reasons other than being hurt.” At this I grinned that famous Potter grin. “Oh no, you are just like him aren't you?”

“She knows,” I sputtered out.

“Yes, well, don't go blaming Professor McGonagall. I knew the first time I was checking you over. Your vital reading gave me your full name. I just didn't say a word thinking it was a fluke. It is after all healer patient information, and cannot be shared unless you specifically tell me I can.” I felt a sudden warmth spread through my body, and I climbed out of bed and gave Aunt Poppy a hug.

She tensed up as I hugged her and I laughed, “don't worry you'll get use to them.”

“The train arrives in one hour.” At this Headmistress McGonagall turned and left.

I asked if I could shower and with a nod of consent from Aunt Poppy I headed off in the direction of the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I was clean, dressed, and my hair was done. I was just clasping on my bracelet when Aunt Poppy came into view. She noticed a picture my mum had put into my bag as a reminder of home. It was taken a few weeks ago at a family picnic, and it showed everyone near and dear to me.

I was standing beside my boyfriend, Ron Longbottom. On the other side of me was my dad followed by my mum. She was keeping an eye on the twins who looked like they were up to something, but didn't dare do it because Uncle Hagrid was right behind them. Grandma Molly and Grandpa Arthur were next in the big cluster. They each held a baby girl in their arms; those girls were my cousins Mel and Anne. They belonged to Uncle Fred and Aunt Angelina. Next to Uncle Fred was Uncle George supporting on his shoulders five year old Brian. Aunt Katie came next. Uncle Neville was there with Aunt Linda. Aunt Ginny followed them and so did Uncle Charlie. Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur's triplets were next Cindy, Penny, and Molly. They were all the same age as me. Behind them were their parents. Aunt Poppy was beside Aunt Luna and Grandma and Grandpa Granger.

“Where are Ron and Lupin and Tonks?”

“Oh Aunt Tonks and Uncle Remus couldn't make it. Aunt Tonks was put to bed rest by you. She's having one hell of a pregnancy, but they are just thrilled that they are having a baby. I have another picture of them from Christmas time.” I pulled out the photo album I had packed the night before. “See there they are,” I showed her the picture of Uncle Remus standing beside Aunt Tonks as they laughed from the snowball fight they had just finish having.

“Where is Ron?”

“I should get going, Aunt Poppy.” I grabbed back my photo album as the clock on the wall told me it was six o'clock. “Talk to you later.” And with that I hastily left the hospital wing and went to try and blend in with the incoming students.

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3. Mingle me silly

Mingling was something I was never good at. It could be because I was six foot two inches tall or that I had red hair that always got the boys attention or that my last name was Potter. Either way I was just not good at trying to mix with new people, and as I entered the Great Hall I wished I could become invisible without the help of my father's cloak.

Try as I might not to be noticed I knew I was getting some curious stares. I hastily made my way to the Gryffindor table while looking wistfully over at the Ravenclaw table. Taking a seat I glanced around and noticed three of the most famous people in the world enter the Great Hall.

There they were my parents and Uncle Ron. It was amazing to see how much different my mum and dad looked. I had never met my Uncle Ron but I heard amazing storied about him. They all said he was brave and strong and a funny man. Maybe now I would get to be able to experience that. I watched them approach the area where I was sitting and was completely startled to find them sitting only seats away from me.

Before I could hear what they were saying Headmistress McGonagall stood up. “We will like always begin with the sorting. Professor Flitwick please lead in the first years.”

There had to be about ten first years that the loveable charms professor led into the room. It was such a low number that I wasn't the only one surprised with the lack of students. Aunt Luna had told me once that during her sixth and seventh years Hogwarts hit an all time low in attendance. But once everyone was sure that Voldemort was truly gone attendance had skyrocketed. I was amazed it had only taken one year after the ending of the war for people to become so trusting again.

The sorting hat did use the line he had said to me earlier that day which caused me to smile. It didn't take long for everyone to be sorted and as the last clappers died down Headmistress McGonagall stood up to address the students once more.

“We have a transfer student from France this year joining the house of Gryffindor. I trust you will all make her feel extremely welcomed. She has just going threw the terrible ordeal of losing her parents. Please stand Jillian Pomfrey.”

I stood and took in the staff table. As my eyes set on Remus Lupin I lowered my head but I knew it was too late. Uncle Remus' face had lost all color upon seeing me. After all he was the one that kept telling me how much I resembled Grandma Lily. He would say, “If only your eyes were a touch greener you could be her twin.”

“I would also like to announce the new additions to our staff,” her words cut through my thoughts. I was focusing all my attention on the plate in front of me hoping that everyone's attention was back on Headmistress McGonagall. “Please join me in welcoming back Remus Lupin as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and Nymphadora Tonks as the Transfiguration Professor. They will be sharing the house duties for Gryffindor House.” At this she glanced at the two new additions and then back at the clapping students. “Eat up,” and with these words food filled in the platters on the table.

I was just finishing my first helping of steak and kidney pie when a voice made me turn to my right. “I'm Neville Longbottom,”

“I know,” I whispered into the air.

“You know me?” He asked with a tone of awe.

Oh great, I thought, my first mistake. “Yes,” I cleared my throat. “My parents spoke highly of your parents. They said they were two of the finest people they knew and that you were to grow up being just as brave as they were…are.”

I could tell my words touched part of Neville. “Thank you,” he said before turning back to his own plate. “But I think I'm going to disappoint you.”

“I don't think so,” I said and then a thought occurred to me. “Do you know anything about the cultivation of different magical plants here at Hogwarts? I'm trying to figure out which subjects to take and while I was good at herbology at home I don't know what the atmosphere is like here.” Uncle Neville owned one of the most sought after herbology stores in England.

“Oh Professor Sprout is an amazing Professor. She has six greenhouses with over three hundred magical species.” His enthusiasm was catching and I couldn't but help mimic the smile he flashed as he spoke about this class.

Ten minutes later as he explained what they had covered last year I felt like I was now going to be an old pro at herbology. “What about arithmancy?”

“Oh for that you would have to ask Hermione Granger.” My eyes widened at this. My first conversation with my mother as seventeen year old was going to be about school how typical. Thirty seconds later after I tried to protest him interrupting her conversation Neville and I had changed seat and I was sitting next to my mother.

“Neville tells me you are wondering about Arithmancy?” She stated the question as if it was a fact, but I was too stunned to answer. The Hermione Granger-Potter I knew looked so different. She stilled had the bushy hair that had always defined her, but she wasn't wearing glasses and her eyes now held a tiredness to them.

“Yes ma'am I am. I mean yes I am.” Oh god, how was this ever going to work if I still thought of them as grown-ups. “I'm just wondering if you have started learning how to write spells, yet?”

“No we haven't, but we are doing that all this year.” She said and then turned to glare at Ron who got what looked like mash potatoes all over me and her. I couldn't understand what he said but Hermione it seemed could. “No Ron I don't want to introduce you to Jillian. I don't want you corrupting her in your own special way.”

“Oh come on Hermione,” I looked at the person sitting next to Ron and my eyes locked with those of my fathers. “Ron's not that bad. I mean he only helped corrupting you. I did the majority of the work.”

“That is what you think, Harry James Potter.” She huffed at them and then turned to look at me again. “Oh excuse my manners. This is Ron Weasley and Harry Potter.”

“Nice to meet the both of you,” I said and then turned back to my food. It was so weird to see my mum flirting with someone besides my father. The end of the start of term feast couldn't come soon enough, I thought, as my mum went back to talking to Ron and my dad.

The minutes filtered past and I sat absorbing many conversations including a silent one Hermione, Harry, and Ron seemed to be having. They seemed to be dodging around the approaching fight with Voldemort, and just as I was about to mention something Neville spoke up. “Harry we should really restart the DA.”

“We will Neville and I want you and Luna to be the first people to join. Jillian how is your defense spells?”

“Top notch,” I replied through a mouth of chocolate ice cream. “My dad and my mum taught me everything they knew.”

“Where are you from?” Ron asked and I thought about my conversation with Aunt Poppy this afternoon. I had already screwed up once tonight and I wasn't about to make another mistake.

“France.”

“You don't sound French.”

“That's because I'm not.” I said and then turned back to my ice cream.

“Oh Jillian we are so stupid. And sorry. It must be hard losing your parents so soon and then we keep reminding you of them.” Hermione kicked Ron under the table as she said this.

“You have no idea,” seeing as they were the parents I had just lost it was all overwhelming but thankfully the feast was ending. McGonagall had just stood up to say some last minute words.

“There are some people who think it is safer for them and their children to be at home ignoring the on going war, and then there are you. You fine young adults and your families have the courage to go on living. That courage was once the pride and joy of a great man. Please join me in raising our glasses to Albus Dumbledore. The finest man, wizard, and headmaster this school has seen since the days of Godric Gryffindor.”

As we all raised our glasses and had a moment of silence I felt that something was off. Someone was trying to push down my walls of defense I had set up and break into my head to read my mind. I did a quick glance of the room and my eyes locked with those of Remus Lupin's.

“Prefects please show the first years to their dorms and the rest of you off to bed too.” With those words Uncle Remus broke his gaze from mine and I felt my robe being tugged by the person sitting next to me.

“Come I'll show you were we live.”

Obediently I followed Hermione out of the room and through the castle to the portrait of the fat lady. The whole way she had been talking to me but my mind was too full of thoughts about what just happened. And it wasn't until she showed me the dorm we would be sharing with two other girls that I jumped out of those thoughts.

“Well I'm going to go and talk with my friends for a little bit and I assume you want to get settled in. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'll wait for you and we go to breakfast together. Goodnight.” And with that I was left in a dark dorm room with my troubled and confused thoughts. For the Remus Lupin I knew, the Remus Lupin whom I considered a second father, didn't know occlumency.

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4. the stars are bright during the day

I was waiting for the knock on my door by my mother or for my curtains to be yanked open by best friend Penny Weasley, but when neither came I slowly opened my eyes. The curtains on my four poster bed were an odd color it was a deep red. This made me nervous that I had once again fallen asleep while studying with Ron but I noticed that the room was lacking the normal snores of the other boys in the room.

“Where am I?” I asked as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. The curtains were pulled back from the bed I was in and I caught an image of my mum before being blinded by light. “Mum!”

“Nope sorry I'm not your mum,” the cheerful voice of my mum came back to my ears.

“Yes you…” Tea, throwing up, Aunt Poppy, Gryffindor…it all came rushing back towards me. “Bathroom?”

She pointed towards a door opposite my bed and I scrambled for the safety of being alone. I needed time to pull together my thoughts. I needed time to be able to remember what part I was supposed to be playing.

“Okay,” I splashed water onto my face as my hands trembled. “You are a Potter, pull yourself together. Potters' don't fall apart at the tiniest of things. So get your act in gear and go out into that room ready to face your seventeen year old mother.”

Twenty minutes later I was once again submerged in the hustle and bustle of the Great Hall. It was slightly unnerving to see some people I had thought of as dead all my life and then there were the others who I thought of as family. Hermione got greeted several times in our walk down to the section of the table the seventh and some six years had claimed.

“Everyone this is Jillian,” Hermione said and I smiled sweetly as I recognized most of the faces from last night. For instance there was my father and Uncle Neville, Ron, whom I met last night, and Aunt Ginny and Luna.

“Where are you from?” A dreamy voice asked and I saw it was Aunt Luna speaking.

“France,” I responded.

The dreamy voice was slightly unnerving and I remember Uncle Neville saying that Aunt Luna lost all of her quirkiness this year when her father was attacked but not killed by several Death Eaters. This was the year she became serious and had a complete reality check. This was the year she and my mother became best friends.

“So what is the DA?” I asked as I remembered from last night.

“She knows about the DA,” Aunt Ginny sneered in my direction. Obviously her dislike for me traveled through time.

“Jillian knows more than it seems,” Luna said as she stood up and walked back to the Ravenclaw table.

“I like her,” I said with a nervous laugh.

“Luna is great,” Ron said as he stuffed a scone in his mouth.

I made a face but before I could bring up the subject again I noticed Lupin approaching our apart of the table. My attention went to making sure my mental walls were in place and completely buttering my toast and then adding cinnamon onto it. I then applied a simply heating charm to make my meal complete.

“Miss Pomfrey…Miss Pomfrey…Miss Pomfrey…”

“Jillian,” my father's voice cut through my thoughts and I jumped. My eyes met his and he glanced behind me. Turning I came face to face with Remus Lupin.

“Oh I'm sorry…um Professor…um,”

“Lupin,” he supplied for me and I glowered at him. “After breakfast we need to go over your schedule to make sure you have the appropriate classes.”

“Joys of all joys,” I said as he walked away. I slumped my head down on the hard wooden table in defeat of the meeting I couldn't escape, but I might as well make it worth wild and get caught up on some of the pieces of the puzzle I seemed to be missing.

As everyone was finishing up breakfast I stood up to go to find Professor Lupin's office. I was just about ready to leave when Neville spoke up. “I'll show you where you need to go.” For a minute I didn't think he was talking to me but as then he grabbed my hand. Quickly I yanked my hand out of his gripped.

My face by now was bright red and I had to strain to keep the stutter out of my voice as I nervously spoke. “Thanks, Neville. That would be nice.” I grabbed an apple and met my dad's eyes. They held a sort of curious expression about them and I could tell he was wondering why I had reacted that way to sweet Neville.

Neville and I walked the halls in silence. As we did I thought of the millions of times I had walked these same halls with his son. I wondered vaguely if Ron was walking this same hall right now in my own time.

“Do you know where you're going because you are three steps in front of me? Jillian, just how long have you been at Hogwarts?”

“You don't lose that inquisitiveness,” I said with a touch of fondness.

“Are you a seer?”

“Me?” I said with shock. “No my mother thinks divination is rubbish. She doesn't even know why my dad took it for so long.”

“Who are your parents?”

“Oh look Professor Remus's office. Why don't I just avoid this question and go inside to fix my nonexistent schedule.” At this I waved Neville off and knocked on the door. When no one answered I took out my copy of Elite Charms, for the ONE who wants to know it ALL and started to read. It took Uncle Remus ten minutes for him to join me outside his office. “You're late,” I said not looking up from my book.

“Terribly sorry, but I was helping a first year find her way to the Transfiguration room, and I didn't think you would get here so quickly.”
“ I don't like being late.”

“A good quality to have,” He undid the charm on his door and held it open for me. I casually got up from the floor and entered the room. It looked almost exactly the same. The room I was use to had a few more books and a new person occupied it but beside that it was exactly the same.

“Nice room. I like what you did with it.” I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I knew that Uncle Remus was and never would have any say in the decorations now that Tonks was in his life. Aunt Tonks liked to change the house as much as she liked to change her nose at a dinner party.

“We should be discussing the classes you will be taking. I see you've had time to take your OWLs.”

“My mum and dad made me take them,” I said carefully.

“That was interesting of them,” I could tell he was searching for something to ask me next. “Classes?” I said helpfully.

“Right,” he cleared his throat. “Well you can take Advance Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, Arithmancy, Potions, and Herbology. Do you think you can handle six classes?” He didn't even wait for my answer as he tapped a schedule sheet and handed it over to me.

“This looks fine. I heard you had a centaur teaching Divination and was wondering where I could find him. I need a question answered.”

“Classroom eleven, ground floor, I believe he even has a free this period as do you.”

I got up to leave when I suddenly remember something Uncle Remus had told me. “Oh and before I forget don't accept any Wolfsbane potion from Slughorn.” Before he could ask me why I just said what I has just said I left the room and rushed down to classroom eleven.

The doorway to classroom eleven was open. No doubt the centaur was waiting for me. You could hardly surprise a centaur for they knew the past, future, and present. I had taken private lessons from Firenze since I was eleven. He had approached me in this same hallway way on my second day in the castle. Predictably, I was lost and at the sight of a centaur before me scared me even more then not being able to find my class.

“I'll write you a note for you teacher but come inside we need to talk.” His voice was ethereal and so were his blue eyes. I knew better then to refuse the help of a centaur or any magical creature so I had no choice but to go in and hear what the magnificent creature before me had to say.

The room was a miniature forest. It was filled with trees; the ground was covered in a mossy like grass, and a small broke wound its way through the trees and into a small pond. With a casual wave of his hand the bright blue sky that shone above quickly became darker and I found myself starring at the stars.

“I was informed by the stars that you need to be taught their words. Never has such an honor been bestowed upon the lesser race.”

My face must have shown my astonishment. I knew all about centaurs and their ways. They rarely even spoke to humans. Firenze was the first to live among them, ever. “You are offering to teach me how to read the stars?”

“Yes,” he said slowly. “Now you'll come here every Monday and Friday for lessons.”

“Every Monday and Friday,” I repeated as I left the room.

“Are you going to come in Miss. Potter?” Firenze's voice came from the forest and I entered the classroom I had come to love. Even when I didn't have lessons with the centaur I could sometimes be found in his room just relaxing by the pond.

“Thank you,” I said taking off my shoes and placing them just outside the doorway. “I was wondering if I could take a look at the sky.”

“Yes of course,” he said. I knew better then to be surprised at his lack of asking what I was looking for. He already knew all the stars told, and I knew he was going to let me figure out their riddle on my own.

The sky became dark as I looked up to see the constellations forming. I saw the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, Orion, the star Sirius, and I even saw Andromeda. But I quickly started to look beyond the constellations and started to read what the stars had to say.

“Something is wrong,” I whispered into the still room. “The stars are wrong.”

“The stars a never wrong,” Firenze said as he came to my side. “They can only be interpreted wrong.”

“But here they say that they are going to fight the first part of Voldemort's soul tonight.” I said pointing to the three stars off to the right of the star Sirius. “And they aren't ready.”

“Miss Potter,” Firenze said and I looked at him. His blue eyes bore into mine. “You have to finish your reading.”

I took a deep cleansing breath and looked at the stars again. My line directly crossed the lines of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. In fact it seemed to intercept their lines right when they were going to be destroying the first horcrux. The realization of what I had to do hit me like a ton of bricks; sometime today I had to stop the trio from doing something incredibly stupid.

I gave Firenze a hug and with one last glance at the stars I headed out of them room. I didn't hear Firenze wishing me luck or him saying that I would have to hurry.

Once I was clear of classroom eleven I checked my timetable to see I had ten minutes to get to charms class and then in the afternoon I had herbology. Today was going to be easy and tonight was going to be hard, I thought as I made my way through the hallways and up to the charms corridor.

Dinner was an interesting affair as I was invited to once more sit with my parents and my aunts and uncles. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were oddly quiet this dinner and I could sense their hesitation about tonight. If they were hesitant, I thought, then why go through with it? And why was my mother not stopping them when I knew that she knew it wasn't going to work? But as I looked to my father I knew why. He wanted it to be done and over with soon so they could be one step closer to killing Voldemort. My father wanted to be out there fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

As they left the Great Hall my eyes followed them. They looked dangerous and yet cautious. I wondered briefly how that could be but then I felt my senses being probed once more. I put my walls quickly up and scanned the table again. I knew it was someone in Gryffindor, I could tell, but I just didn't know who.

Quickly shoving the rest of my dinner down my throat I left the Great Hall. Rushing down the corridors I could barely stop the feeling of panic as it rose in my chest. Once up on the seventh floor I screamed the password to the fat lady and by passed the common room in a blur as I ran up to my dorm room. I grabbed my dad's invisibility cloak and the map. With a snap of my wrist I became invisible and then with a whisper of the incantation I knew where everyone was in the school. Taking count I saw my parents and Ron up in the boy's dormitory.

“Good I still have time,” I said into the empty room. “Now where would they go that they could destroy such an object? What area of the castle would give them the protection they would need?” I thought over my questions as I stared at the three dots bearing their names. “Wow, how stupid am I? The room of requirement.” I crashed down own the four poster that was now mine, and knew I would have to post the note now and then come back here to let my mum do a head check.

The wall where the room of requirement was made of stone. I wrote a note and stuck it to the wall with my famous sticking charm. They couldn't miss it, I thought, as I stared at the flashing piece of brightly colored paper. With one final flick of my wrist I placed an invisibility charm on the paper so that only four people in the world could see it.

Patience was a virtue that I was not fortunate to have. My dad told me that constantly. It was why I was always early for everything. So as I sat in my bed waiting for my mum to leave I had to force myself not to toss and turn. The waiting was going to kill me for I had a feeling it was all I was going to be doing this year.

Finally the time came; I heard the rustle of her drapes and then her quietly sneaking out of our dorm. I pulled the invisibility cloak out from underneath my pillow and waited ten seconds before leaving the room myself. Watching from the stairs I saw them meet up in the common room. They talked for a few minutes before leaving and I followed shortly afterwards. Vaguely I wondered if this constituted as stalking but quickly banned that thought I was I hurried to make sure that they followed my note's instructions.

“What is this?” I heard Ron say. “It won't come down.”

“Let me see that,” My mum's voice floated over to me as I rounded the corner to see them standing around the note. “It says `For the destruction of a horcrux you need to face your fear during the full moon.' Boggart?”

“Hermione?” I could tell my father was waiting for my mother's explanation. “Do we take the advice?”

My mother's voice was shaky when she answered but her face held resolve, “yes we do. It seems that someone out there knows our mission and for now we take their advice, but we must use caution. We don't know if this person is friend or foe.” At her words I set the note on fire.

As they were looking around the corridor I left on cat feet. My first interference was over; I could finally get some sleep.

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5. Me and them and boggarts

The next full moon was in nineteen days I calculated as I looked out the Gryffindor dorm room window. My mother and Aunt Ginny sat on my mum's bed talking about something. Their conversation was not something I was entirely interested in and as I stood looking out the window I wondered how they came to be so distant in the future.

My arms folded over my chest as I heaved a sigh and looked into my reflection. I hadn't slept well the past week and my eyes showed this fact. My hair was limp as I was taking less care of it and my clothes were over wrinkled as I just stopped caring. The past really was a bleak place just like Uncle George had said.

“So Jillian,” a voice interrupted my inspection of my self. Turning I saw it was Lavender speaking to me and I quietly wondered when she entered the dorm room. “What is your story?”

“My story?” I questioned her.

“Yes, like for instance your parents, who were they?” Lavender tossed her hair over one shoulder as she said this. I have expected her to be chomping on a piece of bubblegum as she did that little hair flick.

“Oh Lavender,” my mum's voice came into the conversation. “How inconsiderate can you be? She just lost her parents.” She hissed this last part.

“No, I can talk about them.” I said as I sat down on the edge of my mum's bed. “My dad is half and half. His father was pure blood and his mother was a muggleborn. My mum is a muggleborn. They fell in love during the war and it was to many peoples surprise.” I glanced back out at the moon and let out a sigh. “My mum is the smartest person I know and my dad the bravest. My mum says I got my dad's stupidity for taking risks and his quidditch skills. She says he can never stay out of trouble…even with her. My dad says my mum is never wrong, and he is right. He says I got that from her.”

“They fell in love during the war,” Lavender said wistfully.

“Yes, they did. It was as they were trying to survive all of this,” I pointed to my school books that were piled up on my trunk. “And fight battles that they realized what everyone had said was true really was meant to be. Of course my dad wanted to keep it a secret, but my mum just wouldn't hear of it. She told him that she didn't care if she got killed because even if she died fighting for him her love for him would keep her with him…in his heart, but most importantly in his soul.”

“In his soul?” My mum's asked and that is when I snapped out of my dream like state. I remembered where I was and who I was talking to. I was talking to my mother whom had yet to discover her love for my father, and I was talking to my Aunt Ginny who wasn't about to let my father go.

“I should go to bed,” my body was all tense from the slip ups I could have made and I didn't dare glance at the girls in the room. “Early day tomorrow,” faking a yawn I slipped behind the curtains of my four poster and let out a sigh.

“Good morning,” A pleasant voice chimed behind me. Ron, I thought as I turned around but I saw it was Uncle Neville. My face must have fallen and I tried to smile. “May I sit down?”

“Good morning, Neville.” I said as I took of my tea.

“You look terrible,” he said as he peered closer at my face.

“Hey,” my father's voice shouted out at us and I jumped back from Neville's close face. My eyes met his and I could see the same protectiveness that I saw in his eyes whenever Ron was around.

“Harry you okay?” Ginny asked as she took a seat opposite from Harry. Harry gave me one last glance, as if trying to figure it all out, and then turned to say good morning to Ginny.

“I've got to get going, Neville.” Without another thought I fled the Great Hall. I don't know how long I stood in the entrance hall but it wasn't long. With a crack on my head I disillusioned myself. Footsteps were coming my way. Soon Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville had passed by me without a second glance. Carefully I followed them listening to their conversation.

“I just don't understand what you're saying,” Ron said and Neville bobbed his head in agreement.

“I'm saying, Neville,” Aunt Ginny snarled. “That Jillian is hiding something.”

“Okay lets say she is hiding something,” mum spoke up as the moved outside.

“The future always hides,” Aunt Luna dreamily spoke up.

I could tell my mum was rolling my eyes at Luna. “Right, well, what would she be hiding?”

All heads turned to look at Ginny, “Her parents.” Ginny spoke up after a second with sudden confidence. “Didn't you notice last night that she talked about her parents in the present tense?”

“And that is all you're basing this on?” Harry spoke up.

“Yeah that is a little far fetched,” Neville added as they sat down by the lake.

“I'm just saying…”

“Ginny,” Ron let out a sigh before continuing. “Give it up.”

“Oh yeah…well you,” she suddenly pointed at Harry. “Were all over Malfoy last year and no one believed you. And now, NOW, that I have a theory you won't listen.”

“We are listening,” Hermione hesitantly said. “It is just that there is no evidence to back up anything. We heard Professor McGonagall explain her situation. And if her parents are alive then the order would be hiding them because obviously she is in the know.”

“The order is scattered,” Harry reminded Hermione.

“They are scattered but not broken,” Hermione put her head into her head. “They hid my parents this summer.” It was then that I remembered that Mrs. Figg has taken in Grandma and Grandpa Granger and kept them hidden during the whole school year and part of next summer. In fact Aunt Poppy was their secret keeper.

At this fact my father put a comforting arm around my mother. This was the first act of their relationship that reminded me that my parents were in fact in love with each other in the future. It was hope that I could still succeed in my quest.

I was startled by this thought as their voices floated back over to me. “We should be cautious.” Ron said, “We still don't know who the mystery helper is.” I took a look around and noticed Neville, Ginny, and Luna making their way back to the castle as my parents and Ron gazed back over the lake.

“When is the next full moon?” My dad asked and I rolled my eyes at his question.

“Eighteen days,” mum answered him in an offhanded sort of way. “We need to find a boggart.”

“I'll ask Lupin after class tomorrow.”

I sat in the second row of desk third desk from the door in defense class. This chair was directly behind my fathers and it was the one I sat in for the last seven years at least nineteen years into the future. Today we were discussing the Imperius curse.

“Now I now you all discussed the Imperius curse a few years back. Well, all accept you Miss Pomfrey.”

At this I sat up straight. I had already learned how to counter the Imperius curse and quickly progressed onto occlumency lessons. So when Professor Uncle Lupin asked me how much I knew about the Imperius curse I smiled softly before answering.

“The Imperius Curse can be either a nonverbal or a verbal spell. You cast it by saying or thinking Imperio. This spell causes the victim to be completely under the command of the caster. The caster can make the victim do anything he/she wishes. The thing is that this unforgivable curse, which means that by using it on another human you get a life term n Azkaban, but it wasn't at one time.”

“Go on,” Professor Uncle Lupin seemed to be impressed by my knowledge which he himself had given me.

“Before Voldemort's first reign of terror,” I was getting into my lecture mode which made me sound a touch too like my mother. “The spell was used regularly be law enforcement and even healers.”

“You can't be serious?” A voice said from the back of the room. I turned to see a boy with a pompous air sitting in the back and saw that he was from Hufflepuff with a shiny Head Boy badge pinned to his robes.

“She is Ernie,” my eyes stayed on Ernie as Lupin spoke. Before he could go into his own lecture I stopped him, “What is your surname?”

“Macmillan,” He said giving me a queer look.

I turned back to look at the black board suddenly shivered. My father spoke highly of Ernie Macmillan, and I had to fight back the tears as I remembered what Dad had said. Ernie was the first to die in the battle of Hogsmead. He was literally blown to pieces as he jumped in front of my mother to save her from a very powerful reductor curse.

Before I had known it class was coming to an end. I had spent the whole class lost in memories that weren't my own. Knowing I had to act before Lupin dismissed the class I quickly raised my hand. “Professor I have this problem.” A few sniggers could be heard coming from behind me. Ignoring them I forged onward, “Professor Vector has given me a classroom to use for our project and well it contains a boggart.”

I saw Professor Lupin's eyes swivel to my father. They silently communicated before he turned back to me, “I'll take that boggart. My third years could use some more practice.” I gave him a thanking nod as he dismissed class without a mention of the homework. No one thought to ask him for we already had enough work on our hands.

“Oh not you too Ron,” I heard my mother say as I walked down the hall with my mind buried on the book buried deep in my bag. “This is pure coincidence. I heard her last week asking about a classroom to do our term project in. And she was asleep when I left Monday night.” Hermione hissed the last part as our class merged with other classes being let lose for lunch time.

Two days later found me in the arithmancy wing. I was calculating what and how long it would take to cure silver getting into a werewolf's blood stream. The effect would slowly kill the werewolf but I had almost calculated how long it would take, three days nine hours and twelve minutes. With this calculated I could figure out how big of the magnet shield spell I was inventing would have to be. This is how my parents and Ron found me.

“Oh sorry,” Harry said upon seeing me and I quickly grabbed my shirt. His hand had automatically gone up to shield his eyes. “What the heck are you doing with no shirt on?” He said which caused Ron to entered the room and for Hermione to hit Ron upside the head.

“I'm sorry.” I stuttered out while trying to not shout at my father, “I'm not use to people entering without knocking. Plus I was sure I had the room to myself and I like to be comfortable when I work.”

“Comfortable requires clothes.” Harry said as I told him to open his eyes as it was safe I had put my shirt back on. “Nice shirt,” Glancing down I saw that my shirt was one that Uncle Fred had given me as a joke. It read, “An exit should have all the dramatics as poking a sleeping dragon…running usually works.”

“Thanks I got it from Uncle Fred.”

“You have other relatives beside your Aunt?” Hermione asked as she peered at my calculations. “What are you working on?”

“Nothing important,” I said hastily as I made my writing invisible with a slash of my wand. “It's not complete and I don't like anyone seeing my work until it is. Sorry,” I added the last part when I saw my mum's face.

“No that's okay. I completely understand.”

“Yeah she doesn't even let us see it when it is finished.” Ron spoke for the first time since entering my work area. “We came for the boggart.”

Biting my check to stop myself from smiling I replied, “I was under the impression that Professor Lupin was picking it up.”

At this Hermione, Ron, and Harry shared a look. Apparently I hit a nerve, “well he asked us to pick it up for him.” Ron shifted from foot to foot as he spoke.

“Okay,” They shared another look at my lack of hesitation about their answer. “It's in that closet.” I vaguely pointed to the left, far wall and then went back to my work. I didn't care that my mum was watching me as I lifted the charm or that she would probably recognize my math.

“What shape does the boggart take for you?” Ron asked as Harry walked by levitating a trunk in the air.

“That is a rather personal question don't you think?” I replied as I stared at the board. Something was missing in my equation of the magnet shield.

“Right,” Ron mumbled. “We will be leaving now.” He shut the door behind him as I sunk to the floor the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I knew perfectly well what shape a boggart would take for me and I knew when that had to be revealed. The full moon just wouldn't come soon enough, I thought. I straightened up and gazed at my equations. “Something is off.”

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6. Purity is changing

Tap, tap, tap, tap, the sound was going to drive me insane as was my mother. I turned and glared at her. She had invaded my space. Okay, so it wasn't really my space, but it was given to my by Professor Vector. It was last Thursday when she approached me, rather cornered me in a hallway right outside the arithmancy classroom, and asked me if she could have my help with the problem she was trying to solve for her own arithmancy project. Now it was Monday and she had been in my room for the past three days with me.

“Question?” I grumbled incoherently at her as she spoke up.

“What is it?” I was trying very hard not to add `mum' at the end.

“Remember last week when you said your parents fought in the first war and that is when they fell in love.”

“I never said the first war,” I let slip my correction before I could stop myself.

At this Hermione turned and faced me. I could tell she was trying to figure out what I meant. “But you said they fell in love during the war.”

“There have been many wars, Hermione,” My voice was cold as I tried to steer her off the subject.

“Yes,” Her face showed she wasn't about to give up on that slip-up. “But you said something that intrigued me. You said that your mother would still live on in your father. In his soul.”

“Yes, I did,” I turned back to the chalk board once more checking my perfect solution. It needed to be right and it needed to be right tonight.

“What did you mean by that?” That right there was the question I was dreading for even I didn't know the answer. My parents had forged some impressive magic in the future, and they said it all had to do with a past mistake that had gone incredibly right.

“I'm sorry, Hermione, I have no clue. My parents never told me. They said I had to figure that one out by myself.” Smiling, I turned to the window and saw that it was about four hours until sunset. “Come we must get down to dinner.”

Harry and Ron met us in the entrance way just as they had done the past three nights. This time though I noticed they had been joined by Ginny. She was talking adamantly to Ron and Harry about something as we clambered down the stairs, but she stopped upon seeing Hermione and me.

“I should go,” I said as Hermione joined her friends. But before I could step around them a hand reached out and grabbed my arm.

“Why don't you have dinner with us?” I looked and saw my father's hand encircling my arm. “I mean we have to make sure you don't waste your life away by doing work.” My eyes stung with tears as he said this. Over the years I had lost count of the many times my father had said that exact same phrase to me.

“Sure,” I said sneaking a glance at Aunt Ginny whom looked furious. “I guess I can put off studying for one night. I just don't want to fall behind.”

“Why do you sound so much like, Hermione?” Ron said.

“I don't know,” I stammered out.

“Relax,” Ron swung one of his arms around my shoulder. “It was just a joke.”

Dinner took longer then I expected. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville, who joined us, kept me laughing the whole meal. They continued to keep me laughing as we made our way up to the common room, but as soon as we entered we quieted down.

“So, how do you like it here?” My father's voice whispered into my ear.

“It's nice.” I said brushing my hair out of my face. “I like the castle and my classes. I just miss home. My bed, my friends, my boyfriend,” as I said this I noticed Aunt Ginny perk up.

“You have a boyfriend?” She asked me.

“Well, I did, but I don't know what I'll be going back to. Hopefully he won't forget me while I'm here.” I thought longing of Ron and his grin and his eyes and his lips. I wished he was here with me. “I should do some work.”

“Nonsense,” Hermione said as she plopped down on one of the overstuffed chairs by the fire place. “It's only the third week. Not even I have put in as much work as you have these past three weeks.” Yeah right, I thought, you've only been trying to figure out how to destroy Voldemort's soul these past few weeks.

I figured I still had two hours to waste so I decided to join them, but before I knew it way too much time had flown by. As I glance at the clock I saw it was seven thirty and I was wicked late. Swearing I got up and reached for my wand. “I have to go,” I said loudly. “I can't believe I wasted this much time here.” Scrambling I raced to the portrait hole and banged it open. I could hear their bewilder exclamations behind me and then three pairs of feet pounding down the hall after me.

The hallways to the hospital wing were oddly packed, “MOVE!” I shouted and several people did as I asked. I still had to shift through the crowd to reach the door. No one was going in so I threw the huge oak doors open and raced to where I knew something was going on.

“Jillian,” A voice exclaimed as I flew past Aunt Poppy's office. I tried to stop right away but ended up sliding an extra ten feet for my efforts.

“I can help,” I said through heavy breathing. “Mum taught me what to do.”

Aunt Poppy's eyes grew wide and she nodded. I slanted my head to the doors there she saw my parents and Ron standing in the doorway staring at the end of the wing. Her and my eyes followed them down the wing to the bed at the end. Standing beside one of the beds was Professor Tonks with her signature bubblegum pink hair. I watched, as in slow motion, she sunk to the floor, giving everyone a clear view of Professor Remus Lupin.

My feet carried me down the hall before anyone else could react. I took several deep breaths as I reached his bed. Uncle Remus looked horrible. He was writhing and silently howling with pain. His veins were bubbling out of his skin, and I could see his skin was taking on a tint of grey, no of silver.

The wand that I had only use for good was suddenly being raised for one spell I had sworn to never use against another. “Sectumsempra!” I bellowed pointing my wand at Remus's chest. Two seconds later my body was flying backwards and it hit another hospital bed hard. I raised my wand once more but this time I had pointed it at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. All three froze in place with only their eyes being able to move. I knew Harry would recognize this spell as the same one Professor Dumbledore had used on him at the end of last year but caution needed to be thrown to the wind to save Uncle Remus's life.

“What did you do to them?” Aunt Poppy hurried over.

“Stay back, this might cause a minor explosion.” I said as I hovered my wand right above Uncle Remus's chest and placed both hands on his stomach. My hands were immediately drenched in blood but it didn't matter any more because I had started to focus my whole mind on the spell work that needed to be done.

My lips began to chant the words to the magnet spell over and over, and I could feel the energy building inside of me. I was using my wand as a focal point to where I wanted the substance contaminating Lupin to end up. It wasn't long before I felt the blood on my hand beginning to draw back and another smoother substance take over. I opened my eyes briefly to see silver coming up and encasing my hands. Willing it with all my might I let the magic I was casting to dig deeper into Remus. As the last of the silver left his body I was thrown backwards and hit the wall. I let the darkness take hold as I knew Remus was going to live.

“Jillian,” I was hiding under the stairs as Aunt Ginny and Daddy argued. My tiny seven year old self didn't like it when people yelled. Unclenching my eyes I saw Uncle Remus standing over me.

“Is it over?” I asked and he smiled down at me.

“What were they arguing about now?” Uncle Remus asked as he scooped down and picked me up.

“Me.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” I nodded into his neck for extra acknowledgement. “I told Daddy that I didn't want to go with Aunt Ginny because she doesn't like me and ignores me. Daddy got really upset at this and accused Aunt Ginny of being an overzealous six-year old.”

“I see you learned a new word?” Uncle Remus let out a chuckle and I took in his smell. He always seemed to smell of soap and fresh air.

“Mummy taught it to me yesterday.” I said happily. “Uncle Remus, why does Aunt Ginny not like me?”

“Jillian,” The voice of Aunt Poppy interrupted my dream. As I got brought to the world of the waking I reflected that Uncle Remus had never told me the answer to that question.

“What time is it?” I said trying to sit up only to be held down by a hand on each of my shoulders.

“You have been asleep for two days. I don't even think I need to tell you to please stay still.” At this I opened my eyes to come face to face with a stern looking Aunt Poppy. “You did an incredibly stupid and brave thing the other night.” With these words she shoved a potion down my throat and as I heard her leaving my bedside I sank back into darkness.

Hours later I finally woke up. Letting out a sigh I sat up in bed and looked around the normally empty (except after a quidditch match) hospital wing. To my right sitting in a chair was a sleeping Professor McGonagall and to my left was a sleeping Aunt Tonks. Then as my eyes drifted over her they met the brown eyes of Uncle Remus.

“Uncle Remus you're awake,” I said forgetting my role. Immediately I threw my hand up to slap it over my mouth.

“Oh its okay, Jillian Potter.” He smiled at me and I grinned back at him. “I recognized your magic the minute it entered my system. Thank you for saving my life, and next time I will listen to your warnings. I heard it was some impressive magic you did.”

“What did you mean you recognized my magic?”

“Well, you are a Potter and it just so happens that I happen to be a magic brother with a dead Potter.”

“Grandpa James,” I said with a sigh and let my body fall back on the bed.

“Yes,” He saw my gaze turn to the sleeping Aunt Tonks. “Don't worry your secret is safe with me. She will never find out unless you tell her yourself. So how is the future?”

I couldn't help but laughing at this, “It is good. Much better then this place.” I said with a wave of my hand which sent the vase on the bedside table smashing into the wall. Aunt Poppy came rushing at the noise and Professor McGonagall awoke with a start. “Whoops,” I said casually as they started checking me over.

“What happened Poppy?” Professor McGonagall questioned as she looked me over.

“This,” she said pointing at me, “Overtaxed her magic making it become extremely unstable.”

“Unstable,” I shouted trying to sit up again. They pushed me firmly against the bed and held me down.

“You need to stop struggling,” Aunt Poppy said and I tried to relax. “Your body needs time to rebuild up its magic. To be honest I'm surprised it is healing itself so quickly. But then again,” She seemed to sigh as she said this and I felt a tingling spread through my arms. “Okay I put a paralysis charm on your body but you can talk. Don't fight it off and you have a visitor.”

At this a person came around the corner and I saw it was Harry. What is he doing here? I thought. Remus seemed to sink back into his bed and it was then that I noticed Aunt Tonks was still sleeping. She really can sleep through just about anything.

“Hi, Jillian,” my father looked flustered. “I was just came by to see how you are doing?”

“Lying is not becoming, Harry.” I shot back at him and he immediately became defensive.

“You are right it isn't.” His tone was accusatory, “I need to know how you know that spell.”

“What spell?” I said quietly. “The spell I used to heal Remus was a magnetic shield coupled with a purity charm. Of course I made it stronger by actually infusing my magic with his.”

“Infusing with my magic?” Uncle Remus spoke up.

“Yes, the purity charm infused with your magic and should have flushed out anything that was hindering you.”

“Poppy!” Uncle Remus shouted causing Aunt Tonks to wake up. “Poppy!”

At the second call Aunt Poppy came running into view, and she looked like she was about to kill one of us. “Remus what is wrong?”

“I need you to check me over?”

“Check you over for what?”

“I need you to see if I'm still a werewolf,” Remus looked over at me with a mixture of shock and joy on his face.

“There is no cure,” Tonks spurted out.

Poppy ignored Tonks and did the diagnostic spell. She did it four times before she turned to me, “What did you do?”

“I cured him,” I said softly. “I had to.” As I said this I remember my mum they morning she sent me here remember its okay to change the future and I had done just that. I could do little more because Aunt Tonks had launched herself on me and started hugging me to death. Just through her shoulder length brown mousy hair I could see my father looking stunned and slightly worried.

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7. Potter equals hospitals

It took the rest of the night for my magic to become relatively stable. “I'm going to take the paralysis charm off.” Aunt Poppy with a flick of her wand made my body tingle then sink into the soft cushion of the bed. I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled broadly. “I want you to stay here for the rest of the day.” She said this as I looked out the window, and saw the brilliant red sun rising over the tree tops of the forbidden forest.

“Did I ever tell you,” Remus was awake. I had been up for two hours now, and had watched the sun fully rise into the sky. Today was going to be a brilliant day. “How your Grandfather confronted me about my being a werewolf.”

“Yes,” I said in a small voice. “It is one of my favorite stories.”

“Well, I guess you can then tell me what you are doing here,” Remus said with a light chuckle.

“We all have a role to play Uncle Remus, and mine just happens to have a little more confusion then most.” My answer was not what he was looking for but it was all he was going to get out of me. After all he was to know only so much.

“What is my role?”

“Isn't that what we are all trying to figure out?”

He let out a wolfish laugh at this and I couldn't help but laugh too. “I guess you are right. But at least I know he lives.”

“Uncle Remus,” I say softly.

“That is going to take some getting use to,” he retorted back.

“I need your help.” Uncle Remus got out of bed and carefully made his way over to my bed. He sat down on top of the covers, as I scooted over, and carefully scooped me up in his arms. “I just didn't think they would be this way.” I let the tears that were stinging my eyes to fall. “They are just so different from the parents I know.”

“What do you mean?” I could tell Uncle Remus was trying to understand and comfort me at the same time, but he was doing a horrible job at it.

I took a deep breathe, held it for ten seconds, and then exhaled, but before I could continue Aunt Poppy appeared from around the curtain again. She didn't even seem angry at catching Uncle Remus out of bed instead she seemed cautious. “Headmistress McGonagall would like to see you now that you are awake and somewhat stable.”

“But you told me to stay in bed for the rest of the day?”

“I know what I said,” she didn't even snap as she spoke, but instead she seemed to deflate. Aunt Poppy had just called Professor McGonagall by her new title something she rarely even did in my time. I understood that something was suspicious in the castle of my being here. “She also said you would need this,” Aunt Poppy handed me my bag of tricks.

Clearing my throat I said any word that came to mind and felt my bag click open. Rummaging around I found exactly what I knew Professor McGonagall wanted me to use…my Dad's invisibility cloak along with the marauders map.

“Well, if I had any doubt I don't any more,” Remus let his hand slide over the liquid fabric of the cloak. He then opened the map and said the magic words. Blank ink lines began to spread all over the parchment, and in green ink at the top were different magic words but more powerful in meaning. “Gosh this map sure does get passed around.”

“It will go to the twins when I leave school,” the faces of my twin brothers came swimming into view. They are identical in every way, and a complete mixture of each of my parents. With dad's hair, mum's eyes, and dad's nose coupled with mum's lips.

“Who do the twins belong to? Ron?” Remus's face was smiling at the thought of Ron being tortured like he was tortured by Uncle Fred and George.

“No, they are my brothers…Mike and Adam. I should get going.” I grabbed the map, swiped it clean, and threw the cloak over my head as I stood up. “Bye Uncle Remus,” my voice whispered into the wind.

Walking the halls was fairly easy remembering the password Uncle Hagrid used to open up Professor McGonagall's office was another matter entirely. I didn't even beginning to name off anything for I was lost in complete thought of what it was.

“You are expected,” The gargoyle growled annoyingly at me as it had been standing open the entire time I was lost in my thoughts.

“Um thanks,” I had never heard it speak before.

The stairs wound their way to the top landing and as they did I could hear voices. Those voices I knew so distinctively that I actually flinched as my dad raised his voice at Professor McGonagall. At the top of the stairs the voices became unable to overhear.

“Who is she Professor McGonagall?” My dad asked sounding oddly tired.

“No witch has that kind of power. Nor should they,” My mum edged in her say in the matter at hand. “Plus she just invented a way to heal, HEAL, werewolves. That is advance, strong, powerful magic. Even Dumbledore couldn't have done that.”

“She knows things,” I was startled to hear Neville in the room along with my parents. I wondered vaguely who else was there but Neville continued on. “She said her parents knew my parents, and I asked my Gran. They didn't. Plus Gran had never heard of Madam Pomfrey having a sister or brother.”

“Listen to me,” McGonagall spoke up for the first time. “Just listen to me. I can not give you what you want to hear. I was sworn to secrecy and I am bound by my word. All I can tell you about Jillian Pomfrey is that she did a noble deed by saving Remus from his horrible curse. How she did it and why? Well you are going to have to ask her, but for now you have classes to attend.”

Even I could tell that the discussion had come to an end. Pressing myself against the wall I watched as Neville, Ron, and my mum and dad left. “Come in Jillian,” As soon as Professor McGonagall was sure they had truly left I was summoned into the office.

With a twirl of my wrist I had taken off the invisibility cloak. She watched as I appeared out of thin air and smiled slightly. “I think we have a problem.”

“Yes I think we do,” I said as I sunk into a chair facing the quidditch pitch. Fawkes gave a trill of agreement and I smiled at him. “So this is where you are hanging out now? Nice of you to inform me seeing as I could have used your help last night.” Talking to a phoenix was not getting me very far in venting my frustrations.

“Jillian, your parents are smart and they will figure out that you are not who you say you are. And they will figure this out soon.”

Sighing, the sight of the quidditch field outside the window did nothing to calm down my racing mind. It was so hard to figure out how much I changed history. “I wasn't,” My voice cracked as I spoke. “I wasn't supposed to heal him. Cure Uncle Remus of his disease was not something I was to do.”

“What do you mean?” Professor McGonagall's sharp eyes made me bring the world back into focus as I stared at her.

“Professor, I just changed history.” She took in a sharp breath at my statement. “I was suppose to go into the hospital wing and take out all the silver in his system, but I tapped into the Potter magic that lay dormant in him.”

“Potter magic?”

“Along with becoming animagi Uncle Sirius, Grandpa, and Remus did another sort of protection to help Uncle Remus…they became magic brothers. So Uncle Remus had some Potter magic within him. When I performed the purification charm I accidentally tapped into that magic to help me push out the silver in his blood stream. Grandpa must have been very powerful for his magic took me over, and it pushed the entire curse out of Uncle Remus.” My voice got really tight at this statement, “I'm sorry.”

“How much does this change the course of history?”

“I don't know,” I said honestly. “It all depends on choices.”

“Choices,” At this Professor McGonagall's voice went oddly quiet and had a hint of sadness to it.

“I was once told be a wise man that `it is our choices that show who we are far more than our abilities.'” My eyes moved to the wide awake portrait of Headmaster Dumbledore.

“I couldn't have said it better myself, my dear.” He beamed down at me.

“You told me that when I first came up to this office in my first year here at Hogwarts.”

“Never gave better advice then that. I believe I once told your father that.” Dumbledore looked thoughtful as his eyes twinkled.

“Yes in his second year here.” Pausing I looked at the sword that my father took out of the sorting hat his second year at Hogwarts. “Professor, why didn't you tell him the truth?”

Rarely had I heard my parents raise their voice at each other and I had never ever heard them argue. So this was a first for me as I walked into the deserted common room to find my parents in the throws of a yelling match their faces only inches from each others and really, really pissed off.

“Okay Miss Know-It-All,” My father yelled at my mother. “Then who is she if she isn't my mother?” My breathing hitched in my throat and I stumbled back against the stone wall of the portrait hole. My father thought I was Lily Potter, a high compliment but one that would bring grief when he realized I wasn't who he wanted me to be. “She looks exactly like her. I have pictures so don't tell me I'm wrong.”

“She CAN'T BE Lily,” My mother yelled the middle two words as if to push them into my father's skull. I heard her let out a sigh and then someone plop down on one of the overstuffed arm chairs by the fire place. “Just listen to me for one minute before you explode again.” At this I heard another body plop onto another chair. “Do remember n our third year when I had that time turner.” Dad let out a snort at this, “Good, well did you ever wonder why I didn't go forward in time. Like to get a head start on my work?”

“You are Hermione and that would be considered cheating,” I could tell my dad was grinning as he spoke. We all knew that Mum did not condone cheating of any sort.

“Well yes but there is another reason…you can't travel forward in time.”

“Why not?”

“Because you can't go to some place you've never been before. Time travel is very sensitive in its nature. Going back alone is hard enough with all the rules you have to follow but going forward is impossible. You don't know where you are heading to and what you are going to be met with when you get there.” She was in her full blown lecture tone now. The same one she used whenever she taught the twins and me more complex magic over the holidays. “So you see Harry she couldn't be here because it is impossible.”

“Then why does she look so much like my mother?”

“Oh Harry,” I peered around the wall I was hiding behind to see my mother holding on to my father who looked like he was holding the last bit of the world in his hands, and his hands were grabbing my mother fiercely.

Witnessing my father's meltdown made me feel older somehow and yet smaller at the same time. I made my way back to the hospital wing. “Jillian, you didn't need to come back here,” Aunt Poppy said as I entered the wing.

My eyes were beginning to blur, my head felt fuzzy, and something was completely off with my heart. I took a racking breath and tried to focus my eyes on Aunt Poppy. “Something,” I said with a wheeze. “Is….wrong,” I felt a current taking me under and my body slammed into the floor just as I succumbed into unconsciousness once again.

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8. Souls

NOTE* It has taken me a while to write this chapter. It taunted me and I felt like I was never going to finish the dang thing, but thankfully it is over. Hope you enjoy this Christmas present. Have a good holiday.

“Not again,” My voice sounded raw to my ears as it came out of my throat.

“Madam Pomfrey she is awake.” A dreamy voice countered my own raspy one. “Don't worry Jillian everything is going to be okay. They are going to be okay.”

Opening my eyes I was met with the sight of Aunt Luna's huge unblinking blue eyes. “What happened?”

“You had an anxiety attack.” Aunt Poppy came around the curtain as she spoke, “Nothing to worry about. I figured it would happen sooner or later. You have been through a lot.” She thrust a potion in my hands, “drink this and you can leave.”

“Luna what phase is the moon in tonight?” I asked after Aunt Poppy had left.

The young girl blinked and then looked out the window. “It will be full tonight. You have been asleep for some time. Apparently your body needed to sleep off the stress of everything and it was also fighting an overload of magic from your emotions. Hermione and Harry have been coming to watch over you in their spare time,” I looked around the room for my parents. “They aren't here right now. This is why I am here.”

“Um…Luna…are you saying you are guarding me?”

“Yes,” she said brightly. “Let's get you out of here.” At this she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed. Luna dragged me down the long wing and all the way to the library before she let go. “I'm suppose to keep you busy all day today.” She said this as if this was the greatest thing in the world. “We could be friends.”

I let her lead me all the way to the back of the library. Her blond hair was swishing with each bouncy step she took. I couldn't help but smile at her antics. “Luna,” I said as we took a table in the back. “What is the deal with Harry and Hermione?”

She hummed a verse from Weasley Is A King before she spoke, “they have a complex relationship.”

“So I've seen. But are they different in other situations?”

“I can't tell you what you need to hear.”

This was so pointless, the sitting and the waiting, but I couldn't exactly go running to them without an explanation. Plus, I knew Luna was a Ravenclaw so she obviously knew as many hexes as me. That thought alone kept me glued to the un-cushioned library seat.

“Well, what about you?” I asked, and her unblinking eyes focused directly on me. “What is your deal?”

“My father is the editor for the Quibbler and my mother died years ago.” She spoke as if she was remembering a dream, but couldn't quite grasp the meaning of it.

“What did you mother do, before she died?”

“Oh she was an experimenter in potions.”

“Wow,” I said softly even though I already knew all of this. “You must be good at potions then.”

“I got an Outstanding on my OWLs in Potions class.” Her voice became slightly less dreamy as we made small talk.

“Luna, are you going into a career in potions after Hogwarts?”

“Maybe, if I live.”

“Live?”

“I've been in two battles already and both times we've been lucky.” I noticed her eyes harden. “We shouldn't be talking about this.”

“Sorry,” I said quickly. “So, why are you guarding me?”

“Wit and measure is man's greatest treasure.”

“I know it is.” As soon as I said this she looked from me to the stack of books and back up to me. “Have I done something to make them think I'm going to ruin whatever they are doing?”

“Jillian, advice is hard to dole out and even harder to take.”

Luna picked up the first book on top of the stack, and started to thumb through it all the while humming under her breath. I followed suit, and quickly found myself reading a book on souls.

The book was heavy and bound in what felt like leather over some sort of metal. In it the author gave a very detailed description of what the soul was. This book obviously wasn't magical, I thought as I read a few more pages, it was written by a muggle.

Every living creature has a soul. The soul is the most complex and interesting part of the human psyche. Most scientist or doctors have no clue where to find the soul or even how to repair any damage that might have been done to its fragile structure.

Though as doing research I have come to the conclusion that the soul is not as fragile as most people think. I have figured that the only way to utterly damage the soul is to commit an horrendous act.

An example of such an act would be murder. And I don't just mean some helpless little animal I mean to murder another human being in cold blood. Such an act would damage the soul in such a way that it would also damage you.

Now what does this mean? It means that if you commit murder by accident then you have the hope of being able to pull yourself and your soul together, but to commit cold blooded murder is another ordeal all together.

When you take another human life without consequence for your own you are committing murder in cold blood. You are destroying the purity within yourself. You are destroying the soul.

The effect this has on a person is astounding. The person will become less human. They might even become psychotic in nature and kill more people just to be able to feel again.

“Luna,” I felt like I had to forcefully take in air to continue living. “Why are you reading this?” The book in my hands felt heavy.

“Arithmancy,” she said offhandedly.

“But Professor Vector doesn't go into the mathematics of the soul. That is considered Dark Magic.”

“I would think you would know more about this then I do?”

The way her blue eyes met mine made me think she had figured me out. Aunt Luna was smart, wicked smart, but she wasn't clairvoyant like many people thought. “Why would I know about soul splitting?”

“Well, you are helping Hermione with her project, right?”

The relief I felt was enough to make me feel drained at the same time. This was about my mother's project. That meant Luna knew nothing about me knowing everything. “Yes, I am.” I said shyly.

We spent the day going through more books on the soul. I had read some of these already. Last year had found me in the library quite often trying to take in more knowledge to prepare for the task I was going to be doing. The task I was now doing. Professor McGonagall has told the librarian I was to have full access to any book I desired. This was something Madam Pince thought was highly dangerous.

The stacks of books sitting beside me were teasing me as I looked out one of the libraries windows at the setting sun. This was the first full moon in years that Professor Lupin would be spending it as a human. It was amazing to think about, and yet I couldn't help but wonder if he felt a little lost. Uncle Remus had lived with the curse for so long it was a part of him. The curse had even helped him become more than friends with Uncle Sirius and Grandpa James.

“Do you want to go to the kitchens and get something to eat?” Luna asked as she too looked out at the darkening sky.

“Yes, that would be fine.”

We left the books on the table, and made our way out of the library. The trip to the kitchen seemed to take no time at all with Luna chatting merrily about some exotic creature her father was writing about for the next issue of the Quibbler.

“You seem off?” Luna spoke suddenly her tone changing from cheery to dreamy in the blink of an eye.

“I just miss home.”

“But your family is here.”

“What?” I looked at Luna who was tickling the pear.

“Your aunt” she spoke as she opened the portrait to reveal the kitchen.

“That's true I do have my aunt,” I felt sad at this notion that had kept me going for a while.

“I know what it is like. I lost my mother,” I could she was trying to be helpful, but I didn't know what to say to this comment. Aunt Luna rarely ever spoke of her mother in the future, and now was the time she wanted to open up.

“Was it sudden?”

“Terribly,” the elves had just noticed us standing in the doorway. We were quickly ushered in, and given everything one could possibly need to feed a small country. “Sometimes I wish she was here. But I know she is proud of me…For fighting, for loving, for having courage to ignore those that can't figure me out.”

Her face changed with each sentiment she said. Aunt Luna was a fighter. After she graduated she would go on to study advance potions just like her mother did. She would be the one to find the true cure for being a werewolf, but only if it was administered within the first forty-eight hours after being biting.

“Kreacher is here,” the croaking voice of the Black's house elf was heard long before he hobbled into view. “What can…” he stopped upon seeing Luna with me and quickly hobbled out of view.

“I've always found house elves to be slightly strange.” She said offhandedly while helping herself to several roast beef sandwiches.

We took the sandwiches to a corridor leading to the Ravenclaw common room. It was on the other end of the castle that the Gryffindor common room was and also where the room of requirement was located. She took me far away so not to disturb them.

“Do you like Halloween?”

“No,” I said instantly. I hated Halloween.

“Me too,” Aunt Luna always would hate Halloween after this year.

Around seven I was getting anxious to return to the common room. I bid Luna goodbye after she could not come up with an excuse to spend anymore time with me. The common room was full of people chattering when I entered it, and I walked up to my dorm room without anyone noticing. I had barely put my head down on my pillow when I fell into a deep dark sleep.

The dream was slightly strange. In it Professor Dumbledore was riding a broom. Right out of his reach was another horcrux. I watched as he lazily began chasing after it with no intent of actually catching the flying soul holder. As he flew around I heard the clashing of swords. Looking down I saw my father and Voldemort dueling with swords in the middle of the quidditch pitch.

It looked as if they had been fighting forever. Both were tired looking and covered in sweat. They fought in a circle while my mother sat on the side lines working on a piece of homework. She looked so intent on studying that she hardly even noticed the green beam of light hit my father. After Harry Potter crumbled to the ground dead she looked up casually.

“Very well, ten points to Slytherin. And for Gryffindor that will be ten points from their house points. Dying is not acceptable.”

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9. Gazing at rafters and stars

*NOTES* Wow I got this out quicker than I thought I would. I'm back in jolly old England. So do not expect regular updates. I have deadlines for very important papers due coming up wicked soon. I hope you all enjoy this chapter because I had fun writing it. There may be an upgrade to the rating for this story in the next couple of chapters, and a death or two. As always please read and review. ********

Two weeks into October found Jillian staring, once again, out the library windows. Luna was humming Weasley is Our King, Hermione was tapping her quill against her parchment, and Ginny was glaring at the back of a head full of red hair.

“You know if you concentrate a little harder you might be able to make my hair catch on fire?” I turned to find Ginny looking slightly annoyed and my mum and Luna were both holding back giggles.

“I don't know what you are talking about?”

“Whatever you say,” I let out a sigh. Halloween is approaching, and for the last two weeks my parents and Uncle Ron have been searching through books on the founders. I have been spending most of my time in classroom eleven with Firenze. Turning, I looked back out the window and sighed once more.

“See you girls later,” My bag was on the window ledge, and I picked it up as I spoke.

“Got a hot date?” My mother asked.

“Nope, I've just forgot I have to meet Firenze in about twenty minutes. We have lessons tonight.” For that minute I forgot my mother wasn't my mother, and now she knew. She knew I was getting help from a centaur.

“You have lessons in divination?” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke.

“If you excuse me,” I said in answer to her question.

Seconds later I exited the library with several books on Advance Charm Work in my book bag. I took the long way to classroom eleven arriving with just seconds to spare. My mind was full of thoughts of my parents when I was younger. Before I could sort through my memories Firenze opened the door to let me in to the classroom.

“Tonight we will not be studying the stars.” He spoke and I opened my mouth to comment, “This is because, as you know, you need to have a clear mind to do so. Why don't you tell me what is troubling you, Young Potter?”

“It is them,” I sighed. How can the future be so completely different? How can my parents be so indifferent? “It is always them. I miss my parents.”

“But they are here,” Firenze said, and I could tell he didn't grasp my meaning.

“No. I mean yes they are here, but it, they aren't my parents. They are just too different from the people that I love.”

The stars glittered in the makeshift sky, and I lay down on the soft mossy grass. I could read their secrets and figure out what was going to come, but I couldn't figure out why my parents didn't love each other like they do where I'm from. I heaved a sigh once more as I found Sirius.

“My parents named me after my father's parents. Jillian is a mixture of James and Lilly with a touch of originality, my mum said. The funny thing is they never even thought to name either of my brothers Sirius. When I asked mum about this she said it was because Dad still blamed himself for his death. No, not true blame, but more of a sadness. It just seems so unreal in a way,” my voice grew to a whisper as I spoke. “Here I sit and they don't even know that I exist.”

“You exist,” Firenze reminded me.

“Human emotions must be your Achilles heal,” I couldn't help smirking at this. “I think I just need some time to sort out my mind on my own.” With that I stood up and walked to the door. Turning, “Thanks, Firenze,” I said.

The next day found me wandering the hollowed halls of the castle. As it was a Saturday most of the kids were taking the chance to sleep in, but I found I couldn't sleep. It would be an hour before breakfast was even served, I noted as I took the next turn I came to, and I had been wandering for an hour already.

One hour with my thoughts had left me just as confused as I already was. In fact I was beginning to think I was never going to have peace of mind ever again. I wanted to scream and yell and maybe even hit something. I wanted there to be someone who understood that life isn't suppose to be this complicated.

With a sob like laugh I edged myself down on to the stone floor. My body laid spread eagle on the ground. The rafters above my head gazed down at me in question form.

“Ron must be going mad with worry,” I said simply as if that explained the whole problem. “I mean he is there and I'm here, or is it he is here and I'm there? We have plans, you know. We are going to live together after Hogwarts, and he was going to go to college and then university. I was going to take up healer training. Plans,” the thought of Ron and me living together was always just a dream. We had talked about it, but neither of us knew if I was going to be able to come back.

“And what if I can't go back?” I couldn't help but laugh at that thought. It wasn't a happy laugh it was a laugh of desperation. “What if I have to live out the rest of my life stuck in this time? What if I can't go back because I've changed too much? What if I die?” The last words passed my lips in a whisper.

The sun filtered out from the clouds and beams shot to light up were I lay. I closed my eyes to let the warmth of the sun encase around my numbing senses. The rafters above seem to revel in the glory of the sun too. They looked less questioning in the new found light, and more understanding.

“Mum and Daddy never would tell me the whole truth. They always said that the truth was a fickle friend. Ask for it now and then but don't be persistent because you might find the answers to the world, and what fun would it be if you had all the answers.” After a moment I spoke again, “I tried to find articles about what happened that afternoon, but none said anything important. Of course it could have been important but I won't know until it happens.”

The battle between Daddy and Lord Voldemort would take place at Hogwarts. When they told me that I found it to be a cliché, I mean think about. Both of them thought of Hogwarts as their first home. Both had made their first friends here, or if Voldemort had friends then he did. Both excelled at Hogwarts for the first time in their lives. That is a lot of “boths,” to be considered. As for the battle itself all I knew was that my parents and Uncle Ron and several others fought off the death eaters before Voldemort showed up, and then my dad and him fought. I know I'm in there somewhere. Mum said I showed up at the right moment, and I would know it when the time came.

How's that for telling me everything, I thought with a snort. Of course they couldn't tell me everything, but I think the important detail of how I saved my father's life would have been in among the mix. Shows you what I get for thinking….absolutely nothing.

“Ron and Penny would be right here with me if I had any say in this whole travel ordeal. They would be keeping me sane. Make sure I didn't say anything too incriminating. And most importantly they would be here.” Penny and Ron and I were the trio of our generation. We got into mischief, and of course solved any mystery the castle threw at us. In our first year we figured out why our parents kept coming to the castle even though none of them worked at Hogwarts. Luckily for us we unmasked who was in the Order of the Phoenix. We were all shocked it was still running in our time. It was common knowledge that the Order had disbanded after the down fall of Voldemort, but apparently that was a lie.

I wondered, vaguely, what they would be doing at this moment. Of course I already knew. Penny would be dragging me out of bed, and Ron would be waiting in the entrance hall for us. Then we would all go to breakfast together. We would either eat at the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or the Slytherin table. I would often eat at the Slytherin table with my brothers on Saturdays and Sundays.

My twin brothers loved to cause havoc on anyone which in a way made it okay because they didn't discriminate. One of their favourites to prank was Peeves. By pranking the unruly poltergeist it caused a prank war to start. During the time since the twins started Hogwarts five prank wars had started and twice Headmistress McGonagall had to get involved for them to end. Of course by involved it means she pulled pranks on Peeves and the twins and then gave them orders to put the war to rest.

As I watched the rafters I was startled to find how much I missed their laughter. “It always seemed like they were laughing at something or another.” My eyes misted over with tears and I took a huge breath to calm myself down. “Just stop it, Jillian,” I forced myself to become impassive once more.

I don't know how long I stared at the rafters, but it was long enough for someone to come upon me. “Oh my…” The voice of Aunt Tonks reached my ears. “Are you okay?” Her feet pounded on the stone corridor and I winced as she came crashing down beside me.

“I'm fine,” I said simply. “I'm just watching the light playing in the rafters.”

“Well, you scared me. So, please get off the ground and back to your common room,” I leaned up on my arms and noticed parchment scattered about the corridor. With a flick of my wrist I had all the papers in my hand in a neat pile.

“Hogsmead weekend,” I said quietly. Carefully, Aunt Tonks took back the stack of parchment. “Luna,” My whisper was caught by Tonks but I didn't care. “Thanks see you in class.” At that I stood up and sprinted down the corridor. I heard her shouting about running in the hallways, but could care less because I needed to get to classroom eleven.

“You'll get use to me,” I said as I came crashing through to door of classroom eleven. “I just need to…” trailing off I realized the room was empty and waiting for me. “Can't get one past a centaur,” the grin on my face was only wiped off when I found the stars I was looking for.

As I read their means I sunk to the ground. Changing history, I thought, and it was my entire fault. I started a chain of events that for better of for worse have to play out for everything that needs to happen to happen. Sighing, I found Sirius in the blue ink sky. “It is my entire fault,” I told him as I let my eyes close to sleep off the tension in my body.

Waking after sleeping on the grass with your head propped up on a log was never comfortable. I slipped from the room and wound my way through the corridors until I reached the crowded Great Hall. Casually I took a seat next to Uncle Neville. I could tell he was wondering where I had been all day, but I could also tell he wasn't going to ask me.

“Would you,” he started to say and I looked at him. His face was red and he looked slightly nervous, but when he saw my face he stopped. “Jillian, what's wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said with a sniffle.

At this time his worrying had gotten the attention of the other seventh year Gryffindors. “Neville, I'm fine.” I said as I fought back the tears in my eyes. When did I become such an emotional freak, I asked myself. About the same time you travelled back in time without your support system, a voice inside my head responded.

“Go to Hogsmead with me,” I said to Neville whom instantly turned a shade brighter. “I've never been before and I need a tour guide.” I explained to him, and after a minute he nodded to signify that he would. “Thanks Neville you are the best…” I turned back to my meal and about five minutes later I realized the whole hall had gone quiet. Turning I followed Neville's gaze to the entrance way.

************************************************** Hospital Wing******

“What is going on?”

“Who is that?”
“Let me through,” I shouted and pushed my way through the crowd that had formed around the curtained off area. Without a second thought I barrelled past everyone and dived on to the bed.

My eyes brimmed over with tears as I took in the face of my boyfriend. “Ron Longbottom,” I shouted after I put up the strongest silencing charm, around the curtain off area, I knew. “What are you doing here?”

“Not happy to see me, I see,” He said and I buried my face in his neck. The tears I had fought to keep at bay leaked out as he rocked me back and forth. It took me twenty minutes to pull myself together. “Your parents sent me,” he said softly into my hair.

“What is the catch 22?”

“I'm only staying for 48 hours.”

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10. 48 HOURS...maybe

*NOTES* Wow it has been a while. Classes really got to me lately and they don't seem to be letting up. England is amazing though so I guess I got a good trade off. Enjoy the chapter.

*******************************************************

Two days, forty-eight hours, two thousand eight hundred and eighty minutes, One hundred seventy-two thousand and eight hundred seconds…All those calculations were the amount of time I had with my boyfriend. Scratch all of that, I thought, forty-seven hours, now.

Forty-seven hours wasn't enough time. As I laid on the hospital bed curled up into Ron's body I stared at the clock willing it to stop. Willing it to give me more time, but it was futile because no one, not even my mother, knew how to make time stop.

“Hey,” a groggy voice whispered in my ear. I turned my head and saw Ron's crystal blue eyes staring at me. My eyes burned as the tears welded up, and I fought so hard to hold them back. “Hey, Jillie, you don't cry.”

“Apparently that changes with time changes,” my nose was beginning to run and I buried my face in the pillow. Ron shifted my body and buried my face into his hospital gown. “You being here is wonderful, but it is a mistake.”

I don't know how long Ron held me as I cried, but eventually I began to relax. “One big mistake,” I said softly.

“Hey, that isn't how you are suppose to treat the man that loves you.”

“When did you become a man?” The giggle that escaped my raw throat hurt.

“About the same time as when you became weepy.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled, “I've missed you.”

The hospital wing at Hogwarts is a very nice place to have a make out session but you must be wary of visitors. Since it was Saturday and neither Ron nor I had anyone to visit us we decided to enjoy the benefits of some alone time. What one must be careful to remember is always expect the unexpected.

“Jillian, Hermione asked me to come and get you. She needs help on a thing for arithmancy class. I never thought I'd see the day where Hermione openly asked for help, but she even admits that the French have much more talent in arithmancy.” My father's voice came from somewhere near the curtain. “Oh…Hey get off of her,” came the next words Ron and me heard.

“Da….Harry,” I said with a shout as Ron was roughly pulled off me, and I was pushed to one side.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course I'm okay,” I said in a huff. “Do you think I go kissing guys I just met? Ron is my boyfriend.”

The look on my father's face was reminiscent of when I told him that Ron and I were dating, the first time. It was a mixture of confusion, fury, and sadness. The overall effect was slightly funny.

“Jillie this is so unreal. I mean he looks exactly like…” At this I slammed my hand over Ron's mouth.

“Sorry about him Harry. Sometimes he forgets that people don't like to be gawked at.” I was pretty sure I was red in the face from already being embarrassed, and now I just upped it by adding anger to the mix.

“When can you help Hermione?” I could see the impatience in my Dad's eyes. He really wanted this war over with.

“I'll be there soon,” I replied and with that he turned to leave.

“Leaving so soon,” Ron said with a raised eyebrow. He had so much of his mother in him and so much of his father too. Sometimes it was uncanny, but at this moment I felt a little dizzy. “Jillie, what is it?”

“You just look so much like your father. If it wasn't for the hair and the eyes I would say you were Neville. And I feel like…we don't have enough time.” With one peck on the lips I left Ron sitting on the hospital bed.

One hour and one shower later found me in the library. Hermione had marched straight up to me in a frenzy. Apparently she thought she had screwed up the whole equation somehow. After working for an hour I realised she had done nothing wrong and the soul removal equation was in fact right.

When I was thirteen my mother had given me a copy of her arithmancy works on souls and told me to memorize them. After a whole year of just the basics, in class, and working on more complex equations during my spare time I could have taken the NEWTs and passed with flying colours. But the work I had been told to learn was a curse and not the blessing I thought it was.

“Here you are,” Hermione jumped a foot as the voice of Ron Longbottom sounded five feet away. “I've been looking for you the past twenty minutes.”

“You should not be out of bed yet.” I snapped at him and then turned back to the equation. Quickly I scribbled the next step down for Hermione and then rolled up the parchment. “Let me guess,” I handed the rolled parchment to Hermione while avoiding Ron's eyes. “You escaped the hospital wing.”

“How did you find the library without a guide?” Hermione asked her eyes narrowing as she spoke.

Ron looked around nervously and then down at his feet. Jillian could tell he was searching for an answer and I wanted desperately to help him, but I could not figure out how to answer this question. “I…um…”

“Oh good you found their table,” came a voice from the back. “I wasn't sure if you would, but since you've found Jillian I suppose we should be on our way.” Jillian let out a sigh of relief as Uncle Remus came around the corner. “Jillian, are you coming?” Stuffing everything into her bag she began to move towards Uncle Remus and towards Ron.

Once they were five minutes away from the library Jillian started to thank Uncle Remus. “It was no big deal,” he said simply. “I assume this is the boy who has captured your attention?”

“Uncle Remus,” Jillian slipped her hand into Ron's hand. “Meet Ron Longbottom.”

“Ron?”

“Yes Uncle Remus,” Ron quietly responded.

“Oh not another one,” Remus said loudly as he led the both of them to his office.

Once in the safety of Remus's office Jillian started to attack Ron with questions. “Is mom and dad okay? How much has the future changed? Why only 48 hours? How are the twins? How is Penny surviving?”

“Your parents are both fine and they said you haven't been here long enough to change too much of the future. Uncle Remus's life turned out differently they said.”

“Wait,” I said suddenly at the mention of what Ron just said. “What do you mean “Uncle Remus's life turned out differently they said”?”

“Well,” he said seeing my eyes turn anxious. “They can remember. Your dad said it was something about the power in them. No one else knows anything is different because to them nothing is, but your parents know something happened.” Ron stopped for a second and made a face. “I think that was how he explained it.”

“What about a ripple effect? Didn't curing Uncle Remus of his monthly habit make other things change?”

“I'm not sure,” Ron was hesitant to answer. “What would be different?”

I smacked my head to my forehead as I sunk into one of the chairs that sat around Uncle Remus's desk. Of course Ron wouldn't know what could possibly be different because to him nothing was different. He didn't have the memories I had. My parents explained to me that if I made it back to my own time I would remember how things were when I left. I would have to adjust to all the changes I made if I even made any. Everyone else would not notice the changes I made because to them it would have happened 19 years ago way before I was born.

“Why only 48 hours?” I asked again as I felt the suddenness of it all.
“Because they said that was all the time you would need to get the information you needed for the next step of the plot.”

At this Uncle Remus sat up straighter, “Plot?”

“Yep, something about things now being out of order,” Ron beamed as he said this and I stifled a groan. There it was the ripple effect in full contact.

“Did Professor McGonagall say where you would be spending the night?”

“In the hospital wing,” I grinned at that thought.

We spent some more time talking in the safety of Uncle Remus's office. The talk was about Penny and his last year at Hogwarts. It wasn't until I asked who made Head boy and girl that I figured out what my parents said was going to change.

“Oh the head boy is me and the head girl is Penny,” Ron didn't notice my far away look as he talked on about head boy duties.

“Oh no,” I said suddenly. “Is Ernie Macmillan alive?”

Ron stopped talking and looked to Uncle Remus for a second. “No, he didn't make it.”

“When did he die?”

“During the Halloween Hogsmead visit,” Ron said simply.

“There is going to be an attack then?” Uncle Remus immediately sat up straighter at this. His face became pale and his eyes darted to the fire place. I could tell he was already forming a plan on how to inform the correct people.

“I have to get his badge,” I suddenly bolted out of my chair at the thought that the Hogsmead battle had been pushed up. “What about Aunt Luna's dad?”

“Still as crazy as ever,” Ron looked like I had suddenly sprout two heads. “Jillie…I'm here to give you two days of peace.”

“Okay,” I said as I leaned against the doorframe. “Two days of peace.”

It took us a good thirty minutes to convince Uncle Remus to hold off contacting the Order of Phoenix until the day before the attack. It was extremely important that I was at the Hogsmead visit and close to Ernie before he died and if the whole Order was there I wouldn't be able to complete my task.

Ron and I took to walking around the lake as dusk settled around Hogwarts. I leaned into him as we walked. It felt good to know he was still alive…still my Ron. There were some subtle differences in his attitude but nothing major.

“How are the twins?”

“Good they love being in Gryffindor House,” he said with a slight laugh.

“What,” I turned and my eyes met his in confusion. “They were sorted into Slytherin.”

“No,” Ron said. “You are the only one in your family to be in a different house.”

“Let me get this straight. My twin brothers, Mike and Adam, are in Gryffindor?”

“Jillie,” Ron reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me from entering the Great Hall. “You don't have twin brothers. You have twin sisters.”

There are moments that make the world stop, and this was not one of those moments. This was a moment that made the world speed up to such a pace that I felt dizzy, and before I knew it I had Ron pinned up against the wall my wand pointing at his throat. Unfortunately I picked the moment when everyone came spilling out from finishing dinner. “Who the hell are you?” I asked in a deathly whisper.

“Jillie,” Ron gasped out as I held him firmly in place the tip of my wand glowing red.

“Mike and Adam are my brothers. I remember when they were born. I remember because I named Adam. He had a heart condition, and the healers didn't think he would make it, but he did.” I tight circle had formed around us and I could hear Professor McGonagall trying to push her way through the crowd of bodies to stop me, but it didn't matter. “I couldn't have changed that.” I said as I felt two hands pull me away from Ron.

My body seemed to collapse in on itself as I turned to fight who was holding me and saw my mum. Her eyes held the compassion I needed so desperately. My world no longer existed. When I returned I would be once again entering into any unknown situation with people I no longer knew. Would my own mother be different? In that moment as I looked at her eyes I knew that in whatever universe I was sent back to she would always be my mother. She would always be the person I told everything to, and she would always be my conscious. No matter what universe, I repeated to myself.

Slowly I turned back to Ron. I felt my mum's finger tighten under my shoulders for a second, and I relaxed at her touch. Closing my eyes for a second I relived all the moments Ron and I had growing up.

All the summers we would go flying in my back yard. The times we would build forts out of cushions and sheets during sleepovers when we were little. The train ride to Hogwarts when we became a couple. All those precious memories I had I filed away in the back of my mind never to be thought of again because my Ron no longer existed.

“Go back to where you came from,” I said and then turned and walked through the crowd of people who parted like the red sea to let me through. It wasn't until I was in the Headmaster's office that I realised I had been led up there by Professor McGonagall. “Nothing will ever be the same.”

She nodded as Fawkes came into the room and landed on my shoulder offering me comfort and warmth as my world slipped through my own fingers and down a drain.

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11. S for Suffering S for Silence

The warmth of a fire was the thing that woke me from the despair that seemed to hang about over my head ever since I walked into this stupid castle. I tried hard to hold back the tears as I thought of everything I changed but they couldn't be stopped. Breathing harshly I let sob after sob escape my lips. It wasn't until I was drunk from exhaustion, once again, that I realized I had been clinging to Uncle Remus the entire time. He had rocked me back and forth as I sobbed and then tucked me back under the blanket as I drifted back into the darkness.

I found myself in the Great Hall sitting at the Ravenclaw table with my brothers across from me laughing at something. Their Slytherin robes had been replaced with muggle clothing which indicated it was a weekend at Hogwarts. As we talked about seemingly nothing the doors to the Great Hall opened.

In walked our parents. They looked exactly like they did when I left. It was uncanny how they just walked to the Gryffindor table and sat down like it was nothing. I got up and went over to say “hi” and to ask them why they didn't want to sit with their children.

“Hey,” I said and they looked at me with a blank look in their eyes. “Mum, dad,” I reached out to give them hugs but found myself on the receiving end of a wand.

“Who the hell are you?” My father's voice was strong and impatient. That is when I noticed that these weren't my parents. These people were the Harry and Hermione that I had come to know. They were the Harry and Hermione from 1997.

I turned to look back at the Ravenclaw table and found that my brothers had disappeared and two chattering girls had taken their place. Suddenly, I began to panic. They had gone missing and I had to find them. Had to save them from everything that could get them and at that thought I went running from the Great Hall.

As I flung the doors to the Great Hall open to exit the room I found myself back at home. Comfort and warmth spread through my body instantly calming me down. If my brothers were anywhere they were here. I started forth and came into the living room. The room was exactly how I left it which made me smile. Everything was the same as I remembered.

I don't know how long I stood there but the sound of footsteps made me jump. Turning I saw my dad. “Hey sweetie,” he said casually as if I hadn't been away for months. “Your mother just called and is on her way home. We still have time to squeeze in that chess game,” he gave me a wink as he started setting up the board that was sitting beside the mantel place.

“Dad you always lose so why do you insist on playing?” His face broke out into a grin and I couldn't stop a grin from forming on my own face. “Fine, we will play and I will win.”

Walking over I went to settle in my favourite chair, but something stopped me. There was something different about this room. I didn't pin point it until I looked at the pictures that adorned the mantel. Mike and Adam weren't in any of them. Instead I was hugging two baby girls, or Daddy was teaching them how to ride their first brooms.

“Daddy,” I said. “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” he just kept setting up the chess board as if he couldn't hear me and I just kept yelling his name.

A pair of strong, yet gentle, hands grabbed my shoulders as I bolted up from the couch I had fallen asleep on. Gasping for air I looked up to see Aunt Tonks staring at me. “Oh my,” I said. “Mike and Adam, this is just insane. It is too much. I need to do something.”

“Jillie,” her voice was soft and soothing which made me cautious as I suddenly remembered everything from my horrible dream.

“Aunt Tonks,” she shook her head. “At least not the one you know and love,” was her reply. “Remus told me everything the second you conked out on our couch. I'm sorry about everything Jillie.”

“Yeah, me too.” My throat was raw and I reached for the glass of water that sat on the coffee table across from the couch. “What day is it?”

“It is Tuesday,” she said and I now knew that Ron was gone. Back to where ever he came from. It made me slightly sad to think about, but I pushed that feeling aside.

“A week and a half until the Hogsmead visit.” I couldn't stop the sigh from escaping my prison like lips. “I need to be there. I have to get to Ernie at the right time for everything to go right. It is just that with everything that has changed I don't know when that time is anymore.” Aunt Tonks let me talk to myself as she went and made us some tea.

“Well maybe I can help?” Aunt Tonks said as she set down two steaming mugs. I looked at her and thought it over for a second, and then nodded. After all every girl needs to hash out their plans with someone.

“Before I changed everything the Hogsmead Battle took place right before Christmas. Voldemort wanted to scare the parents into thinking their children would be safer at home with them and not at Hogwarts. It didn't work mostly because of Harry and Hermione and Ron. What it did convince was almost everyone went home for Christmas. Everyone but Hermione and Harry.”

“Sweetie you can call them mum and dad around me,” at this I hugged Aunt Tonks.

“Thank you,” I fought back the tears that stung at my eyes before continuing. “Anyway at the Hogsmead Battle Voldemort's supporters happened to kill Ernie Macmillan who had successfully gotten all of the third, fourth, and fifth years up to the castle. But before he could get in a carriage he was killed because he jumped in front of a reductor curse that was meant for my mum, who was also helping get the children to safety. The curse was so powerful that it literally blew him up into tiny pieces that rained down on my mum. Everything that is except for his Head Boy badge, and that is when my mum realised what it was.”

“A Horcrux?” Aunt Tonks asked, and I nodded. “How did she figure that out? I mean those things have been around since Rowena Ravenclaw made them.”

“Exactly,” I said at her observation. “Made by Ravenclaw, herself, something of the founders.” And that is when it hit me. “Oh my god, I figured it out.”

“Figured out what?”

“How they did it,” my mind was buzzing as I figured it out. It took me a minute to remember that Aunt Tonks and I were suppose to be working on how to get the Horcrux away from the Death Eaters and back safely into the castle.

“The first time I was there and grabbed it before anyone saw me. I presented it to my mum the minute they got back from the battle. I said I found it among the rubble that when I was helping some town people get to safety and thought she could give it back to Ernie. She had no clue I knew that Ernie died.”

“Well, Jillie, I wouldn't say you are going in blind…” at this Aunt Tonks pulled something out of her pocket. “I was told to give this to you by Ron. He said it would contain the answers to everything you would need, but you could only watch it once and then it would be gone forever.” She gave me a vial which held in its crystal prison a silvery glowing substance. On top of it was a tiny note written by my mum it said…Follow me.

“I'm going to need a pensive.”

“I know and that is why I told Headmistress McGonagall. Remus, me, you, and the Headmistress are going to watch this come Sunday morning.” I knew that saying no would be impossible so I just nodded as I sunk back into the couch. Sunday could not come soon enough, I thought as the clock told me that it was only noon on Tuesday.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The black sparking sky was getting lighter and lighter as I finally gave up on sleeping. Crawling out of bed and on to the window seat I sat and watch the sky fade into a brilliant purple haze as the girls in the room slept without a care in the world. Over the course of the last few days I had started attending classes again. This time I sat in the back of every class, avoided all my classmates, and spent most of my free time staring out the windows in the library. Luna was the only one who dare approach me in the library. She sat at the table I occupied humming as she worked through her homework or reading her books. Sometimes she would say something a little off centre but mostly she just kept me company. It was her comforting presence and the mundaneness of classes that got me until Saturday.

Saturday I spent woke up early and went for a jog around the castle. I then spent the rest of the morning visiting Firenze and his classroom. It wasn't surprising to see Luna joined me halfway through the morning. She sat down and just stared up at the sky until I couldn't take it anymore.

“Why do you keep following me?”

“I know,” she said in her dreamy voice.

“Isn't it funny how people tend to think that you, Luna, are clairvoyant? But you aren't. You, Luna, are just very observant, and heaven forbid if I forget smart. A true Ravenclaw.”

“Did you think Hermione would figure it out first?”

“Sort of, but then again you have beaten Hermione before when it comes to knowledge. But you cover it up with those comments you make, and you would never try and hurt her by telling her she isn't the smartest witch after-all.” Luna's face was still gazing at the sky. “When are you going to tell them?”

“Never, you know that already,” her voice hardened for a slight second but them became dreamy again as she spoke.

“Yes I suppose I do…Thank you,” I reached out and gave her a hug. She tensed up for a moment before she hugged me back.

“So what happens now?” her eyes held mine for the longest time.

“We fight for good…”

At dinner that night I sat at the Ravenclaw table as I told her all I could about what had happened and what I was meant to do in this time. She listened intently as I spoke and then brought up something I never thought of before. Luna told me that things had been different since last year. She didn't know what happened but something caused my parents and Ron to act completely out of character.

Now as I walked down to the Great Hall I wondered what had happened to my parents to change them so completely. Was it Sirius's dying? Was it Snape? Was it just the pressure of the war and not wanting to deal with it all anymore? Taking my seat at Gryffindor table I noticed I was not the first person up Ginny Weasley was also there.

“Hey,” she said simply as I sat down.

“Is everything okay, Ginny?” the girl sitting across from me seemed a little withdrawn then the women I knew.

“Yes, well, no. Harry is going to Hogsmead with Hermione.”

“I'm sure they are just going as friends,” I piled some eggs on my plate. “Why do you think they are anything but friends?”

“No, well, yes, I don't know.”

“Maybe you should stop worrying about it until they actually give you something to worry about. Plus I heard you and Harry broke up.” Next I put on some potatoes and began looking around for the ketchup.

“We did, but I just like him so much.”

“Well,” I was starting to feel a little strange talking to Aunt Ginny about my father and mum. “If you like him, and he likes you as much as you like him then don't worry.”

“Thanks Jillian,” she smiled at me and went back to eating her toast. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Aunt Ginny now that I understood her better. She had liked Dad for so long and then it all came down to nothing in the end because Dad fell in love with Mum.

Breakfast couldn't have gotten over soon enough. But as I stood in front of the Pensive I felt like time had played tricks on me by making this moment come too quickly.

I looked about the room for a second. Aunt Tonks was standing right beside me. Her hair was a nice shade of blonde and she was sporting muggle clothing for the journey. I couldn't help but grin as Uncle Remus checked out her legs. It was gross and yet sweet at the same time. Plus he didn't think she noticed but judging by Aunt Tonks's little smirk she did. Uncle Remus was looking less haggard as he no longer had to bear the curse he had to for so long. Even though his hair was still greying his spirit was improving. It also seemed that not all quality of the wolf was gone for instance he still had amazing hearing and was agile when walking. Professor McGonagall had made a comment as I entered the room about making sure the hospital was ready for me seeing as how I couldn't go long without ending up there. I truly was my father's daughter.

As Fawkes let out a trill I brought the vial that held my mum's memory. “Okay so we follow my mum,” I said as I emptied the memory into the pensive and we all held hands as we lowered our heads into the bowl.

*NOTES* Thought I would put the note at the end this time because it pertains to the next chapter. It will be the battle of Hogsmead. Also I've given you all the information you need if you want to figure out why Aunt Ginny hates young Jillian. Read and Review I love reading them.

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