Circumstance

Amethyst

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 05/09/2006
Last Updated: 05/09/2006
Status: completed

After Ron’s untimely death, Harry finds himself torn between the two women in his life.

Chapters

1. untitled

1. untitled

Title: Circumstance

Rating: PG-ish

Category: Drama/Romance

Pairing: Initial H/G -> H/Hr

Summary: After Ron’s untimely death, Harry finds himself torn between the two women in his life.

Disclaimer: Not mine and all that jazz.

~

Voldemort was dead. He was gone for good, and Harry had returned to the warm embrace of the Weasleys…except Ron was not with him this time.

He and Hermione had not quite been the same since Ron had perished in destroying the final horcrux. They’d kept their heads, focusing on completing the mission, having come so close to the end, and with their combined cunning and intellect, they’d managed. Now, however, returning to a sobbing Molly Weasley, a very sober Ginny, and an Arthur who hadn’t touched the Muggle contraptions in his shed since the tragedy, the pain was kicking in.

Harry felt guilty, being taken in like a son when it was his fault they were lacking one. Mrs. Weasley would have it no other way, however, and Hermione had come with him. She wanted to spend some time with her parents, Harry knew, but she insisted they needed to grieve together.

Harry found it was difficult to try to split his attention between Hermione and Ginny now. He felt Hermione needed him more right now; in a way, he was all she had left, and what was worse, instead of growing closer, Hermione and Ginny seemed to get along less than ever. Harry had no idea what had gotten into them.

He tended to spend more of his days with Ginny. Mrs. Weasley would often try to involve Hermione in whatever she was doing, leaving Harry and Ginny alone. Hermione thought Mrs. Weasley was conspiring to get her out of the way, believing her to be a threat to Harry and Ginny’s future marriage. Harry found this idea a bit alarming. He liked the girl well enough and got along with her, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ginny – not just yet, anyway. Now that Harry was free to do as he wished, he saw no reason to rush himself.

His time with Hermione was at night, when she’d creep into his bedroom after everyone else had gone to sleep. Harry didn’t know why she did it, but he valued those times with Hermione. It was very cathartic to talk about Ron and old times and the nightmares they both had frequently – dreams full of Inferi and Dementors, death and despair, and the awful sight of bodies so much paler in that eternal slumber…so unlike their live selves. Harry didn’t always feel comfortable talking about those dreams, but he had to admit that he did feel lighter of spirit afterward, less burdened, less alone.

Harry tried to talk about Ron with Ginny, but the first time he mentioned the name, Ginny had said brokenly, “Don’t. I don’t want to know how it happened. I can’t – it’s too much.”

Harry had been shocked at this reaction – he’d always supposed Ginny stronger than that – but he’d not mentioned it again. She reacted similarly to any mention of Voldemort and what they’d seen him do. Harry found himself quickly running out of things to discuss with her. He’d not been following Quidditch since the English league had reformed after Voldemort’s downfall, so that was out. They used to have a laugh at Ron or Hermione’s expense, but with Ron lost so unfortunately and as serious about the mission as Hermione had become, there was little left to laugh about. The conversations they did sustain were really…quite boring. He never thought he’d say it, but listening to Hermione talk about their options for careers was much more interesting than Ginny’s idle chit-chat. He didn’t feel like being idle.

“Hogwarts should reopen in September,” Hermione told him one evening. “We could go back and finish seventh year, take our NEWTs.”

Harry was torn about the idea. “It would be sensible, but –“

“It wouldn’t be the same,” Hermione finished quietly. What she left off was “without Ron.” It wouldn’t be the same without Ron. Hermione sighed. “We could take the places the Auror Academy offered us.”

“I thought you wanted to liberate the House-Elves,” Harry said with only the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. It wasn’t really the idea he found funny anymore, but her sheer single-mindedness. It was almost…cute.

“I think that, for now, making the wizarding world safe is most important – for House-Elves and humans alike.” She paused. “Do you still want to be an Auror?”

Harry frowned. “I don’t know. It’s the only thing I really wanted to do before, and…well, after all we’ve seen, I don’t think I can do something else and ignore what’s out there.”

Hermione nodded. “I expected you to say as much, and I agree completely. So we’ll do it together.”

Harry smiled, glad to have Hermione along for the next leg of his lifelong journey. “Good.”

~

At breakfast, things were always a bit awkward. Even though everyone was more than happy with his or her meal, it was clear that not everyone at the table was happy with each other. There were many tense silences and even tenser conversations.

“Hermione, dear, do you think you could help me bring the laundry down?” Mrs. Weasley had asked one fateful morning. Once they set off together, Harry and Ginny were left alone.

After a few moments in which they both searched for something to say, Ginny asked, “Are you excited to be going back to Hogwarts?”

Harry set down the toast he was about to take a bite of. “Er, Ginny, I’m not going back.”

Ginny frowned. “What? But…I thought you’d finish out…and we’d pick up where we left off.”

“It just wouldn’t be the same,” Harry said, “not after all that’s happened. Hermione and I are going to start training at the Auror Academy instead.”

Ginny’s eyes flashed. “Hermione?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered anxiously. He could see her temper flaring in her reddening ears.

“Was it her idea?” she questioned.

“We were just talking about our options and decided we’d both rather join the Auror Academy. It was no one’s idea. We just happened to make the same decision.”

Ginny sighed impatiently. “Harry, don’t you want a normal life now? Don’t you want some peace? You deserve it, more than anyone, and you shouldn’t have to continue fighting just because certain people make you feel obligated –“

Harry sighed right back. “I want a normal life, someday, but right now, I can’t go back to playing Quidditch and taking strolls around the lake when there’s still so much to be done. I can’t pretend those problems don’t exist or that all the bad wizards in the world disappeared with Voldemort.”

Ginny flinched at his saying Voldemort’s name but barreled onward with her interrogation. “And why doesn’t Hermione want to finish Hogwarts?”

“The same reason.”

Ginny raised a jealous eyebrow. “How do you know she isn’t going along with this just because it’s what you’re doing?”

“Because, she made her decision first,” Harry replied, becoming very frustrated with Ginny’s stubbornness. He wished she’d just respect his choice and leave it be.

Ginny scowled. “So you’re doing this because of her.”

Harry’s own anger surged. He didn’t remember Ginny being this immature before. “I already told you why I was doing it, Ginny, and just because we chose the same thing doesn’t mean she talked me into it. I don’t know what your problem with Hermione is, but you’re being ridiculous.”

Just then the kitchen door burst open and Hermione stormed through, fuming, with tears on her face. She didn’t pause to look at them or say a word, simply marched out the door to the garden.

Mrs. Weasley came into the kitchen just as Hermione left, looking peeved and uncomfortable.

“What happened?” Harry asked, now quite alarmed and eager to put at least a temporary end to his argument with Ginny.

“We were just having a little discussion, and Hermione took it the wrong way, that’s all,” Mrs. Weasley said, avoiding his eyes.

Harry knew he was unlikely to get the full story from her. He stood to go after Hermione.

“Harry, honestly, she’ll be fine. You needn’t check on her every time she’s in a strop,” Ginny snapped.

Harry looked at her disbelievingly. “Well, if that’s the way you think, I’ll be sure not you check on you the next time you run out of a room crying.”

“Fortunately, I’m not the sort of girl that goes running out of rooms crying,” Ginny called acidly as the screen door slammed shut behind him.

He found Hermione sitting on the garden wall, staring darkly at some probably innocuous plant.

“Er, Hermione? What happened?”

“She’s trying to get rid of me,” Hermione said flatly. “Evidently, there’s a strain on your relationship with Ginny because you’re around me so much.”

After the row he’d just had with Ginny, Harry felt he knew exactly what was causing the “strain” on their relationship, and it wasn’t Hermione.

“She asked you to leave?” Harry questioned, now annoyed with both daughter and mother. Though Mrs. Weasley had every right to ask Hermione to leave and had no obligation to her, a part of him automatically bristled at anyone treating Hermione that way.

“Oh, not in such certain terms. She just went on about how my parents would probably like to have me home and that it might be a good idea to give you some space – worried that we’ll get too dependent on one another. What she’s really worried about is me messing up her little wedding plans by taking your attention away from Ginny.”

Harry felt the sickening burn of betrayal. Mrs. Weasley had been like a mother to him, and now she was trying to drive Hermione away from him, when he needed her most?

“Why does she think you have anything to do with me and Ginny?” Harry asked.

“Because she knows I’m closer to you than Ginny, and she knows how much time we’ve spent alone together in the past few months. Not to mention that she only tolerated my presence before because she thought I only had eyes for Ron…”

The thought of Ron seemed to take the heat off Hermione’s anger, and she continued more calmly, “It doesn’t matter what she thinks. I won’t stay where I’m not welcome. I’m leaving today, as soon as I get my things packed. I need to spend some time with my parents anyway.”

Harry didn’t need more than two seconds to make his decision. “Do you think your parents would mind if I came to stay as well?”

Hermione was momentarily speechless. “I – well, no, of course not, they’ve wanted to get to know you better ever since first year, but…Harry, don’t leave on my account. The Weasleys are like family –“

“Hermione, you are my family now, and if I have to stop speaking to you to stay a part of the Weasley family, I’d rather not. Let’s go pack.”

Hermione practically leaped from her seat on the wall and hugged him fiercely. “Oh, Harry, you don’t know what that means to me – but think about what you’re doing. If Ginny’s what you want –“

“I’ll sort that out later. If Ginny and I are going to work, she’s going to have to deal with this…and you were right, when you said we needed to grieve together. You’re the only one who understands, Hermione – I need you right now. That’s all I need to know. Now come on.”

Hermione grinned, tears welling again in her eyes. “Mrs. Weasley is going to pitch a fit when she finds out I’m taking you with me.”

~

“Harry, if you leave with her today, it’s over between us,” Ginny said furiously as she followed him down the winding stairs of the burrow. When Harry reached the bottom, he turned to face her.

“Look, Hermione is my best friend, and a few months ago, we both lost our other best friend. I need to be with her now, and since she’s not welcome here, I’m not staying. If I have to abandon her to be with you, then maybe it’s better that it ends.”

Ginny sighed. “Harry, I don’t want to be insensitive, but it’s time you both move on. You can’t cling to each other forever…unless you marry her, no woman is going to stand for that –“

“Then maybe I’ll marry her,” Harry snapped, not really thinking about what he was saying, but realizing a second later that it was precisely the wrong thing to say at the moment.

“I knew it!” Ginny shrieked. “I knew she’d come between us, that interfering nag! Harry, just think about what you’re giving up, will you? I love you! I’ve waited for you –“

Harry frowned. “You waited for me, yeah…but Hermione…she stayed with me…”

“But you asked me not to come! Harry, you can’t blame me for that; I was only doing what you wanted.”

“That’s just it, Ginny,” Harry said as he realized for the first time that it really was the problem. “You’ve always done what I wanted…agreed with whatever I said…and that was great at first. But…you’ve only ever thought I what I wanted, never what I needed. Not like…not like Hermione….”

He trailed off as the truth of his words knocked the breath out of him. Yes, Ginny had never gone against him – not until now, at least. She’d given him exactly what he wanted, always too afraid to disagree with him or tell him off…rather like an adoring fan, he realized – just like the girl she’d been seven years ago when he’d first met her.

But Hermione had never had that problem, had she? Even before they’d been friends, she hadn’t been afraid to boss him about or scold him for breaking school rules. Before she’d really known him, she’d already been looking out for him…because that was the kind of person she was, really. Most couldn’t see it under her rules-are-rules and you’ll-ruin-our-chances-for-the-House-Cup guise, but she acted the way she did because she cared, because she never wanted to see anyone in trouble.

The more she loved, the harder she fought, too, even if it meant confiscating her best friend’s Christmas present or trying to tame an irrational boy because she knew his ‘saving-people thing’ could get him killed. No one had ever fought for him the way Hermione had, and no one had ever stood by him the way she had, either.

“I’m sorry, Ginny,” Harry said, looking up at her tear-streaked face. “I never wanted to hurt you, but Hermione and I need each other now. More than you’ll ever need me…or vice versa. I have to go.”

Harry had half expected her to argue with him some more, but instead she merely nodded and turned her back to him as Harry walked out the back door to meet Hermione, Mrs. Weasley calling after him the entire time.

~

“Mrs. Weasley called me a homewrecker. And a scarlet woman,” Hermione added as an afterthought. They sat cross-legged and facing each other on her bed, having arrived at her parents’ house several hours ago. They’d eaten dinner and made their way upstairs, needing a rest after the drama of their day.

“What home?” Harry said incredulously. “Ginny and I weren’t even close to settling down.”

“Not in Mrs. Weasley’s world,” Hermione chuckled. “As far as she’s concerned, you left Ginny at the altar.” She paused, turning somber. “You could still go back, you know,” she said. “I’m sure they’d welcome you with open arms, as long as I wasn’t with you. They’ve probably convinced themselves already that I’ve been slipping you a love potion or some such nonsense….”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t want to go back. When I was trying to talk to talk some sense into Ginny earlier, I finally realized that she’s always been hung up on the Boy-Who-Lived…not me. She changed, but…her ideal version of me never did. It never could have worked. Besides…she’s never cared about me the way you do. I think you deserve my loyalty more.”

Hermione blushed and looked away. “It’s okay to think about what you want, though. You don’t…you don’t have to stay with me out of obligation.”

“I didn’t say that was the only reason I was with you, did I?” Harry quipped. He took in her pink cheeks, bright eyes, and tentative smile, and as he did, everything seemed to fall into place.

“You know, during our row, Ginny told me that unless I planned to marry you, I’d never find a woman to settle down with that would be able to tolerate us being so close. And I’m thinking…she was probably right.”

Hermione nodded down at her hands, looking hurt, and Harry mentally kicked himself for phrasing that the way he had.

“What I mean to say is that…I think you really might be the only girl for me.”

When Hermione looked up at him, her eyes were shining with tears, but she wore a wide smile that reassured him.

“Oh, Harry…do you really?” she said, almost hopefully, and he couldn’t help grinning.

“Can you think of anyone else who could put up with me for that long?”

“You make a good point,” she chuckled. “Harry, I have to confess…I have fancied you for awhile now, but…I was never trying to steal you away from Ginny or anything, you know that, right?”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Hermione, I know you – I know you’d never do anything like that. You gave me every chance to get away, too. I’d watch your post, though. When the news breaks…”

“I can expect a very large howler or two,” Hermione agreed. “I don’t care. You’re worth it.”

Harry, who had never felt quite so light at heart in his entire life, smiled and tugged her closer. “So, just how long have you fancied me?”

Hermione played at indifference, but she couldn’t hide the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Off and on since fifth year or so. …Okay, well, fourth, but…it was more curiosity then, and I didn’t really think it would ever happen…it wasn’t until fifth that I even admitted it to myself, and then you were all hung up on Cho so I gave up on it all over again, and then – oomph!”

Harry could almost hear the thoughts popping like bubbles in her head as he kissed her, feeling her tense and then relax in his arms, scooting closer, running her fingers into his hair. Just feeling her this close did more for him than kissing Ginny or Cho ever had, and that, in Harry’s mind, sealed the deal. Hermione was The One.

She sighed and shifted to straddle his lap, the movement bringing her close against him. The subtle feel of her breasts pressing into him and her thighs warm around his hips was maddening…mind-blowing…he’d never felt anything so fantastic in his life, and he was only kissing her. What would it be like to feel her naked skin on his, to make love to her? He couldn’t wait to find out.

Hermione pulled away, and it was all Harry could do to keep from following her with his lips.

“Oh, Harry,” she murmured, snuggling down into his arms, “I’m so glad things have worked out this way.”

“Me too,” Harry replied, kissing her forehead. “Me too.”

The End