A Series of Theories

Authors Note; I know I have been a very bad girl for taking so long…. So punish me. Anyway you know the drill, I don't own them, wish I did, but alas no. But I get to do something better….make them do what I want.

This will be the beginning of what I will be calling `A Series of Theories', it was prompted by a review to `A Night to Begin All Nights'. It is not necessary to read it first, but it does help a little with the background. I am planning on having a number of `Theories' our dear Harry and Hermione “test” and “re-test” cause only multiple tests will allow for accurate results. Please review and enjoy…..

“Revenge Theory”

A sharp blow hit his shoulder.

“Bugger off Harry,” she said.

His hands slid over her jeans, skimming the protruding hip bone. Teasing the waist, touching the skin just below.

“Why? You like it,” he said, his breath hot on her skin.

Now if he just hit the right spot.

Yeah, that's it, just like that.

Goose bumps rose in waves not dissimilar to the ocean tide.

Arms followed the path of the hands pulling her slender form against his.

“Just stop it, will you! Some one will see,” she said pulling away.

“So”

Lips trailed up the side of her throat just as the lift chimed its arrival.

~ ~ ~

“I am so sorry, Mr Pisani, I promise it won't happen again,” she pleaded.

The young woman closed the door to the flat to the disgruntled comments from her elderly neighbour. Even after closing the door she could still hear him venting his point of view.

“It's a bloody disgrace. Exhibitionists like you should not be seen in public. It must be outlawed. The most disgusting display of lewdness I have ever seen in my life, young lady, do you hear me!” he ranted.

And it went on and on.

“I'll call the police, I will”

And on.

Slowly she hit her head against the back of the timber door with every statement the old coot made. This would definitely leave a bruise.

She had only moved in six months ago, and already she had offended one of her neighbours.

Never in her life had she managed to alienate another person before; well other than Draco Malfoy but he was an exceptional case.

He deserved it anyway.

He pranced around as a first class ferret, and as they say once a ferret always a ferret.

Leaning back against the door she closed her eyes; she knew who to blame for the latest foray in the elevator. He just couldn't keep his hands to himself until they reached their flat…. Oh no!

He just had to torment her all through dinner with her parents, then successfully molest her and simultaneously drive the car on the way home, and finally maul her from the basement carpark to their floor in the elevator, and continue his mauling when Mr Pisani entered with his little dog FiFi on the ground floor.

The man had no decency.

“I blame you for this,” she said pointing an accusing finger.

He was sitting on the lounge, feet on the coffee table which was littered with a few of her text books, a quidditch magazine and five odd remotes to turn on all of the recently purchased multi purpose entertainment devices in the lounge room. Being a wizard certainly had its advantages - except learning how to turn the muggle contraption on, then magic was absolutely no help.

He had commented recently that someone needed a university degree just to work out what button needed to be pressed to turn on the blasted television. Either that or be multi lingual in Korean, French, Spanish and just to be sure German. This time however, he made it work with little fuss, and was now watching the end of the football game he was watching earlier with her father.

“Me?” he responded, hurt by her accusations, a hand covering his heart.

“Yes. You!”

“No it can't be me it has to be all you,” the young man seemed oblivious, feeling his behaviour was just and right in the world. Who wouldn't, he was a man after all.

“Harry! You just gave our elderly neighbour his own private porn show”

He just shrugged as the commentator took the audience back to a brilliant play by Macarthur.

“Most action the old coot has probably seen in the past fifty years,” Harry smirked at this, his eyes not leaving the game on television and most pleased with his witty come back, that and it was probably true anyway.

“Harry!”

He turned to look at her.

God she's sexy when she's angry, he thought. Marveling at the fact that she would get the cutest little crease between her eyes, the same little crease that would appear when she was trying to fight off an impending orgasm; an orgasm that HE gave her.

Now that was something to be proud about.

“What? It's the truth,” he said feigning innocence, returning his gaze back to the screen.

“Honestly, you can't say things like that about people!”

By now she was getting flustered. How could a grown man be so infuriating, so handsome, so care free, so much of a prat all at once. This would remain a complete utter mystery to the female race and she was sure there were other women who would agree.

She remembered Ginny saying as much not long after she started dating her current loser boyfriend Darren Conroy - Quidditch superstar. More like Quidditch loser. His ego had grown so much since discovering he was dating the ex-girlfriend of Harry Potter, he made sure to organize a press conference each time he left his flat.

But now she was hard pressed to say who the biggest prat; Darren or her supposed fiancée. At the moment it was definitely a tough call. Bookies were unlikely to indicate who had the best odds on favourite. But still….

Harry just shrugged and returned his attention to the goal Manchester just scored against Newcastle. His money had been on Newcastle and it looked like he was going to be hitting his future father-in-law up for a few quid after the game.

“Aww, come on Hermione, relax would you. I'm only having a bit of fun.”

Hermione did not think it was funny to say the least. She was pissed and walked passed him towards their bedroom without giving him a second glance.

It was just as well, considering the fact she probably would have pureed his balls in the new blender he bought her. That and the game must have taken a turn for the worst.

Harry was standing, waving the television remote in his hands.

“The other way you twit, the ball goes the other way,” he yelled.

Him mumbling `bloody morons' was the last thing she heard as she closed the bedroom door.

Leaning back against the bedroom door Hermione had all intentions of getting into bed and going straight to sleep. That would serve him right.

But a little payback wouldn't go astray. It seems Harry had a little fun at her expense; turnabout is fair play.

It was going to be a mutually beneficial arrangement; just with a little twist.

A smirk appeared on her face as she crossed to her wardrobe; she opened the door and knelt down to rummage through her shoes.

This spot between her sensible work pumps and her strappy diamante evening shoes was the safest place on the planet to hide things. Harry had a phobia towards her shoes; especially since that night when he home from work.

Hermione still with her nose is a book walked into their bedroom, managing to negotiate herself around his robes scattered on the floor. Harry had come in to use the shower after a hard day at work. She had decided to wait for him to come out then, they were off to dinner at the Burrow.

“Shit!”

Hermione looked up out from her book. What she saw stunned her to the core. Harry was standing there…just standing there in .. in.. well nothing, he was stark naked, without clothes, in his birthday suit. Well not just nothing, he did have something on. Following the direction of his hands, which were in fact cupping his crown jewels, there on his feet were her black diamonte heels she bought for the Gala Ball next weekend.

Stunned Hermione said the only thing that came to her mind.

“Work those pumps baby, work them!!” she had said while watching his face turn a puce colour.

Honestly, he just wanted to see what the fuss was about wearing high heels, since then every time he went near her shoes she teased him mercilessly.

She had so much fun.

He did look sexy though; I wonder if he has tried on any lingerie. Now that would be a sight to behold, she thought.

But now she would have even more fun.

Pulling out the black flat box from under a pair of evening shoes, she looked at the flame red bow. It was bought on an impulse. Forty-eight hours after their memorable movie after party and the first time that either of them had left his flat. Just as well, being in such close quarters would have proven disastrous to their health if they stayed together any longer.

Dehydration, hunger, exhaustion, muscle fatigue, and an over worked heart would of appeared on the doctor's report if they had met their untimely demise. The coroner would say `Death by Orgasm' as the cause.

Would that actually be a legitimate cause of death? You'd think so anyway.

Imagine the shock the ladies from `White Lady Funeral Home' would have when they try and fix her up for a viewing. The permanent expressions of utter ecstasy on her face; she didn't think a tonne of foundation would have been able to fix that one.

Oh! But what a way to go. At least her friends and family would know that she died doing what she loved.

Or should that be doing who she loved?

Pulling on the red satin bow, it fell away, unraveling itself to allow the holder to see under the cover. Placed in between copious amounts of red tissue paper was the gossamer thin black negligee. Nothing out of the ordinary, other than the plunging neckline with a tiny red bow, which nestled nicely between her breasts. The thing that set this article of clothing apart from anything else is the way it skimmed, caressed, and enveloped her body. That was the thing she liked the most.

Lets be honest here and she was in no doubt that she was not the perfect size four super model. But then again she was not obese either. It was the knowledge she looked good which gave her the confidence to pull this off. And she would, as well as him.

Later.

If he was lucky.

Digging underneath the tissue was the `other' articles she purchased that day on impulse; two of them in fact. Walking over to the head of the bed she attached one of the black fluffy hand cuffs to the right side then did the same on the left. She hid them under the pillows on each side. Least he would suspect anything to what he was in for later.

Backing to the bathroom door she pointed her wand at their bed. Instantly the sheets folded back ready to get in and a soft yellow glow appeared briefly on Harry's side; indicating all was ready for him when he got in. A sly smirk appeared on her face as she quietly closed the door.

Let the games begin………

-->

Hello All,

I know it's been a while. A long while from what I can see. Far too long I think.

Well, anyway I've decided to dip my toes again into the pool of writing again for our beloved duo.

And I have a chapter already written, but I need a beta to read over it… Anyone interested in taking on my little story and to give me the push to complete this journey?

If you are up for the task send me a PM and we can go from there!

Hugs

Angel Pi

-->