Silent Nights

Sapphire Rose

Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 05/12/2006
Last Updated: 07/12/2006
Status: in_progress

"How do I describe this feeling? Pure ecstasy, blissful, serene. The experience of floating away - away to another plain with you. Far away where we are alone; just the two of us in paradise. Giving so much, one to another, away from what keeps us apart. Where we can become as one; Holding on to our beautiful dream..." - Harry and Hermione, A Christmas Story.

Chapters

1. Prologue: Speechless

2. Chapter One: Unavoidable

1. Prologue: Speechless

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

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A/N: Well it's been eight months since I've written anything and I'm happy to say my writer's block is finally broken. I know most of you are waiting on updates from my other stories and I promise you I'll get to those sooner or later. But in the spirit of Christmas I've decided to come out with my very first holiday ficlet. It's not extremely long and I'm not exactly sure how long it'll be. What I can tell you is that it'll cover Christmas break and possibly a little bit after it. This is a pure romance ficlet with a little drama thrown in. They will be much fluff to come soon and in later chapters it will live up to it's rating. Once again this is a Harry/Hermione pairing so if you don't like it don't read it. Anyway I hope you enjoy this. Please review once you've finished - I love to hear what you all think! Enjoy!

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Silent Nights

Prologue: Speechless

Chapter 1/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

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Soft heavenly eyes gazed into me
Transcending space and time
And I was rendered still
There were no words for me to find at all
As I stood there beside myself
I could see you and no-one else

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe
I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be
I'd never be the same

Only once in a lifetime love rushes in
Changing you with the tide
And dawn's ribbon of light
Bursts through the dark
Wakening you inside
And I thought it was all untrue
Until there, all at once, I knew

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe
I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be
I'd never be the same

With no beginning
And without an end
You are the one for me
And it's evident
And your eyes told me so
Your eyes let me know

When I saw you
When I saw you
I could not breathe
I fell so deep
When I saw you
When I saw you
I'd never be
I'd never be the same

- Mariah Carey, When I Saw You

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"How do I describe this feeling? Pure ecstasy, blissful, serene. The experience of floating away - away to another plain with you. Far away where we are alone; just the two of us in paradise. Giving so much, one to another, away from what keeps us apart. Where we can become as one; Holding on to our beautiful dream, the two of us forsaking all others. Together, wrapped in our love; swaying with the rhythm of life. Grasping what we can't have; pretending that it's ours alone. No bother from outside forces. Alone, just you and I forever more. But in reality, we must come back. Back to our senses and realization. Back to a world we wish to escape. Awakened to the truth of what's right. What's wrong and what is not ours."

- Becky Garcia, Forbidden Love

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Hazel hues would glance up towards the full moon, high up in the sky on a cold December night. The pure light of the moon shone bright through the misty clouds as an aura surrounded it. An eerie glow came down upon the girl's pale features, the light of the moon reflecting in her eyes. Its mystical hold captivated her all of her senses, it consumed her mind. Her heart longed for the one she knew she could never have. A sigh escaped those perfect lips as she wrapped the warm red blanket tightly around her petite body. She wasn't cold and yet a chill ran up and down her spine. Those hazel orbs never left the fullness of the moon. Her head would tilt back to lean against the wooden frame. Her legs were safely tucked under the blanket, arms wrapped around them. The warmth from the fire tickled her cheek warding off the cold December air.

Finally able to pull her eyes away from the moon, a simple glance around the common room brought her back crashing her to reality. It was past curfew but as Head Girl she wasn't worried about punishment. After seven years Hermione Granger wasn't just the rule abiding, know-it-all, bookworm everyone had associated her to in their first year. After seven years she had learned to bend on some of the rules. In this particular case, Hermione Granger had tossed and turned in her four poster bed unable to get a wink of sleep. Thoughts continually plagued her mind; ones she wished not to disclose at this time. She had retreated to the common room to clear her thoughts. A solitary book lied in her lap untouched. She had been about to read until the full moon caught her attention. She had lost track of the time. To her it seemed like minutes when in reality she had been sitting there for a few hours. Time had stood still in her mind. One gaze at the clock nearby told her it was close to five in the morning. She had nearly stayed up the entire night and yet Hermione wasn't the least bit tired. The sun would rise shortly bringing with it the new day - Saturday.

The weekend had arrived finally, much to the excitement of the student body. Where had the time gone? Into the mists of time she would have thought. Head duties only took up so much of her time, studying for NEWTs didn't seem as important to her as they would have before - she wasn't worried, preparing for Voldemort? She never whatever happened - happened. All she could do was prepare herself as best she could. Besides she had Ron and Harry by her side. Harry. She dreaded the fact that he had to face Voldemort alone. He would be the only one that could defeat Voldemort. The entire weight of the Wizarding World lied on his shoulders. She could only hope and pray that he came out safely and Hermione would do everything in her power to help him. He lingered on her mind for a few moments. Harry. That single word was on the tip of her tongue. She had a longing desire. A dangerous one at that.

Hermione could never be with Harry. It just wasn't meant to be. Hermione was currently with Ron but she couldn't break his heart. She knew if she left him to go to Harry he would feel the pangs of jealousy. Always in Harry's shadow - always his second. She couldn't do that to him. Hermione might not have loved Ron but she still cared for him. She fought these feelings for so long. Hermione outwardly denied them. But alas they had found their way through her armor. What was she going to do? The creaking floor boards from the boy's staircase caught her attention.

From her little nook across from the stairs, Hermione's glance fell on none other then the one that plagued her thoughts. For a reason she didn't know, Hermione held her breath when she saw Harry. Perhaps he wouldn't see her there shaded by shadows. And yet, as if the fates willed against it, the glow of the moon bathed down on her in moonlight.

Harry Potter had awoken with a start. Sitting up in his four poster bed, he raised a hand to his forehead, not because he was in pain but because thoughts had flooded his mind. With a single blink of his eyes the memory of beautiful hazel eyes filled his thoughts. The laughing smile, the soft creamy skin, the sweetest lips, and those eyes all came back to memory in that single blink. He couldn't get the feelings or the images out of his mind. A longing and desire built in the pit of his stomach. With a sigh he shook those thoughts from his mind. They were forbidden by all means. Many a night Harry had found himself dreaming the same thing each night. This night wasn't a difference. With a glance towards the four poster bed next to him his resolve returned to him. He couldn't act on these feelings, he wouldn't.

Glancing towards the clock that read five to five he figured he might as well get up. He had called an early practice that morning for Quidditch. Waking now would give him extra time to prepare. A leisurely stroll to the Prefect's bathroom would clear his mind from these thoughts, or so he hoped. Grabbing his clothes for the day, he threw them over his shoulder. He ruffled his already messy locks of chocolate hair - it could use a cut. A yawn escaped his lips as he made his way down the stairs leading to the common room.

Taking a step into the seemingly empty common room, he was about to make his way towards the exit. Until those emerald green eyes fell on the one person that plagued his very thoughts - Hermione Granger. He stood there completely still. One thought consumed his mind - absolutely gorgeous. Never in all his life could he remember an image that captivated him so. The moonlight only enhanced her beauty in his mind. Harry hadn't realized the perfect silence that had entered the room.

Harry had spotted her, now what? Nothing was said. Hermione attempted to form a sentence but nothing came to her. Why did this have to be so awkward for her? She just wanted things to go back to the way they were before she started feeling for him. His voice was what broke her thought process.

"Hermione? What are you doing up so late or should I say early?"

"Couldn't sleep. What about you?"

"The same."

Silence returned and Hermione found herself fiddling with the book in her lap. She was currently telling herself to get a grip - this was just Harry - JUST Harry. He was just her best friend - that was it - nothing more. She managed a small smile in his direction.

"Where are you off to?"

"Going to grab a shower before I have to start practice."

For some reason the thought of Harry taking a shower sent a thrill to her very soul. Unconsciously she bit down on her bottom lip and instead of answering him she just nodded along. Glancing down at the unopened book in her lap she had to tear her eyes away from him. It was getting harder and harder to bring up the familiar armor around her entire being. But she had to. It was the only way she could put any sort of distance between them.

"I should let you go then, wouldn't want to keep you."

"Yeah…"

Hermione stood up from her perch, tucking the book under her arm as she tried to make her way past him towards the girl's staircase. She was confused and that confusion only grew when she felt the gentlest of touches to her arm. He didn't even have to turn her to face him; she did it anyway, glancing up into those pools of emerald eyes. Her breath was caught in her throat. A similar reaction from him had been masked that Hermione hadn't noticed.

"Is - everything - alright Hermione?"

His voice couldn't be anymore more soothing. It washed over her entire body. She felt weak at the knees - how clique? She wished she could tell him everything that was on her mind, wished she could tell him how she truly felt. But she couldn't. It wasn't right. She hadn't noticed the pauses in his question. To her this was just friendly concern. If only she had looked more carefully into his emerald hues, but she hadn't. Reluctantly she shook her head in response.

"No everything's fine."

And before he would be able to say another word she dashed towards the girl's staircase and climbed the stairs all the way up to her dorm. Quickly Hermione closed the door behind her as she leaned her back against it. It was the only thing stopping her from going back down to him and pouring her heart out. She was about to give into him - she almost did. She couldn't wait for Christmas break, Harry was supposed to go away during the Christmas break that year and Ron was going to Romania with his family. She had opted out, claiming that studying for NEWTs was more important. Only a few more days and she would be left alone in the Gryffindor Commons, away from Harry. Just a few more days and she would be safe from doing anything she would regret later.

Back in the common room Harry was just as dazed as Hermione. Part of him wanted to chase after her but he knew if he had he wouldn't be able to control what happened next. Sighing he made his way to the exit, pushing open the painting and making his way through the hallways of Hogwarts.

Oh Hermione…

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A/N: And that's it for now. Originally this would have been a one-shot but I decided to stretch it. Hence why it's a short chapter. More to come soon and I promise you won't have to wait forever for an update. So with that I'll be closing out. Please remember to review once you're finished - I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!

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Created on ... December 05, 2006

2. Chapter One: Unavoidable

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.

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A/N: Can I first say this is the quickest update I've ever done in my writing career? Well you're all very lucky. First I'd like to thank all that reviewed the first chapter! I hope you keep up with the story and continue reviewing! I love all types of criticism but I don't tolerate flames. Thankfully I have received none yet so that's a good thing. Slowly but surely I'm planning a route for this story. This chapter skips a little bit ahead from the last one so keep that in mind. Ron makes his appearance! Once again this is a Harry/Hermione pairing so if you don't like it don't read it. Anyway I hope you enjoy this. Please review once you've finished - I love to hear what you all think! Enjoy!

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Silent Nights

Prologue: Unavoidable

Chapter 2/?

By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)

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"It doesn't take a reason to love someone, but it does to like someone. You don't love someone because you want to; you love someone because you are destined too. It's because you fall in Love with them, that you then try to find a reason, but you always come up with the answer, No reason!"

- Unknown

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The next few days went by in the blink of an eye. Already the day arrived when the students of Hogwarts would be heading back to their families for Christmas Holidays. This had caused an uproar of packing, last minute shopping and of course heart felt goodbyes to friends they would see in the New Year. As usual a small few would stay behind with the Hogwarts staff. Hermione Granger stood off to the side in the Entrance Hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Standing before her was none other then Ron Weasley. After seven years he had grown at least a head taller then Hermione. His red hair had somehow managed to become even redder then it was complimenting the scattered freckles splashed across his cheeks. A small smile lingered on his lips as he gazed down at Hermione. Although Hermione's eyes weren't on her boyfriend at the time. They were frantically scourging the Hall for a particular someone. She couldn't see very far out with the sea of people in her way. Trying to stand on tip-toe she finally gave up the search when she heard Ron's voice breaking through the crowd.

"Hermione have you been listening to me?"

Raising a curious brow in his direction she hadn't realized he had been speaking to her. She felt embarrassed that she had been unintentionally ignoring him. Hermione could tell Ron seemed confused by her curious behavior. Pushing that to the side she would finally acknowledge him.

"Hmm? Sorry I was just looking for Harry, he'll miss the train if he doesn't get here soon."

Hermione wouldn't hear the low sigh escape Ron's lips since she was more concerned with searching the crowd. Ron would just shrug it off and glance in her line of sight. He couldn't find his friend but that wasn't important. He was about to leave for the whole of break and Hermione didn't seem to care all that much.

"I was telling you that I would write you while I'm away. I'll have your present sent to you by owl so you'll have it by Christmas. I wish you were coming with me. Can't you just come?"

"Oh Ron you know NEWTs are important to me and I want to get a jump on them."

Hermione almost felt guilty by that admission. In reality she was looking forward to the time away from both Ron and Harry. It would give her time to clear her mind and finally give her that chance to get a grip on herself. She completely ignored everything else. Ron could tell her mind seemingly wasn't paying attention. He shook his head as he leaned down to place a kiss to her lips. But at the last second she had turned her face and his lips came crashing down to her cheek.

"I'll see you - "

"Harry!"

"Hey you two."

Through the parted crowds Harry Potter made his way towards his two friends, hands in the pockets of his corduroy pants. Reaching them on the other side he patted his friend on the back. Ron had pulled away from Hermione; this was becoming hopeless in his mind.

"Where's your bags?"

"I decided at the last minute I was going to stay over the holidays. Professor McGonagall said it would be alright."

"You're staying?"

Hermione's heart almost stopped at those words. He was staying? This couldn't be. She was supposed to be spending the winter break, alone in Gryffindor tower by herself. Where did he come off changing his plans? This was the time she was going to use to gather her thoughts. Now she would be spending all of break with Harry - alone. A deep sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. The sound of a clearing throat caught her attention as she glanced over towards the annoyed Ron. She was doing it again. Hopefully he hadn't noticed the inner battle she was having at this moment. Mentally shaking her head she glanced towards Ron.

"Well I should be going, wouldn't want to miss the train."

"See you around mate. Need help carrying anything?"

"No I'm fine. Have a great holiday. Bye Hermione."

He hadn't tried to kiss her goodbye that time. Ron didn't even wait for a response. He just turned on his heel and made his way outside of Hogwarts castle towards the horseless carriages that would be waiting to take him to the platform. Just great Hermione thought in her mind. If she wanted to push her boyfriend right out the door she was doing a fine job of it. She would send him an owl later once he would calm down. Hermione knew he was upset with her and her own sigh escaped those perfect lips.

Harry stood off to the side and watched his friend leave without much of a goodbye to them. He hadn't a clue what was wrong with him but something was bothering him. Glancing towards Hermione he could tell there was much going on through the girl's mind. Of course he was concern but one look towards her and he could already feel the powerful pull she had over him. It had taken almost everything he had to pull back and keep his distance from her. How much had he wanted to just walk over there and envelop her in his embrace, it was almost too much to bear. That couldn't happen. Ever. If only he had been the one to tell her how he felt first. Then perhaps he would be the one holding her petite body in his embrace. He had to stop thinking about her in that way. He was her friend. That was it. What would a friend do now? She looked like she could use a distraction of sorts.

"I was going to head to the kitchen and grab a snack to eat. Want to join me?"

There seem to be a permanent haze surrounding her response time. Lost in her own thoughts she was surprised to find Harry still standing there. She had only caught the last bits of what he had said. It would be best if she just found a corner of the library to bury herself in but part of her wanted to accept his invitation. The entire break, alone with none other then Harry Potter. This would prove to be one of the hardest moments in her life. How long would she be able to fight off feelings such as these? If she was going to do it, she had to start now. Offering her most sincere smile towards him she would reply.

"I need to catch up on a bit of light reading in the library so I'll pass for now."

She started to make her way past him before her could answer but he seemed to catch her hand right at the last second. Turning to once again fall into the pools of emerald green her breath was caught. Why was he able to do this to her?

"Come on it won't take that long. I feel like we don't spend any time together anymore."

Why had he stopped her? Perhaps he just wasn't ready to have her leave his company just yet. Plus this was just a friendly gesture, nothing more. And yet his hold on her lingered for more then was necessary. His mind was brought back to the night he caught her in the commons. That picture would be forever buried in his mind; he had had dreams of her bathed in the moon light. Absolutely picturesque sitting before the window, curled up in a blanket. A playful, pleading smile crossed those lips of his as he glanced pleadingly in her direction. Hermione was more then hesitant to say the least. If it wasn't for his hold on her hand she would swear that she would be pooled in a puddle at his feet. She wanted to say no but she just couldn't.

"Pleeeeaaasssee Hermione? Come with me."

He looked absolutely adorable at that moment that she couldn't help but chuckle at the puppy look that seemed to form on his features. All thoughts of Ron were forgotten as she found herself nodding along in agreement. If she wasn't careful she would find herself giving into his gentle touch and warm gaze. She had to keep some of the distance between them. Reluctantly she pulled her hand from his as it fell to the side. A cold feeling encased it where his hold on her once was. Harry looked as if he would have pumped a fist into the air at that very moment.

"Alright, fine. I'll go but only for a few minutes. I have a lot of reading to do."

"Anything you wish m'lady."

He seemed to do an over exaggerated bow at that very moment. That familiar boyish grin would be in place. Hermione couldn't help but burst out in laugher. He could be such a clown when he wanted to be.

"Come on Harry before your fan club catches you out of your cave."

Hermione all but dragged him by his shirt collar out of the Entrance Hall towards the kitchens. It was true that most of the students had already left but somehow the pack that seemed to follow Harry around never seemed to diminish. No matter what time of year or day it was. The look and groan that could be easily seen and heard from Harry was absolutely priceless. It hadn't taken very long to reach the kitchen area. After all it was one floor down. The familiar tiled floor came into view as they entered the hallway with a row up pictures lining the walls. Coming up towards the painting of the fruit basket Harry reached out to tickle the pair. And soon the painting came to life, jumping out of the way and revealing the busy kitchens of Hogwarts. Soon enough they were greeted by none other then Dobby.

"Harry Potter Sir! Dobby is so pleased see you again!"

"Dobby it's great to see you again. How have you been?"

"Dobby has been doing well miss. What can Dobby do for you both today?"

"Think you can whip us up a good snack Dobby?"

"Dobby would be pleased to! Sit over there and Dobby will fetch it for you!"

The chipper house elf disappeared with a blink of an eye. The smirks could be easily seen as they made their way towards the empty table to wait for their snack. Nervously Hermione began to glance around the kitchens. The awkwardness returned on swift wings. This was a bad idea, she just knew it. Tilting his head to the side Harry would observe Hermione from across the table. He wondered what was on her mind. He remembered a time when the two would stay up late in the night and talk about anything and everything. He couldn't remember the last time that had happened. He missed those times more then anything. Perhaps during this break he would break through the barrier and find some way to get her to open up to him. That would become him sole mission this holiday break and he would begin immediately.

"So Hermione - what's on your mind?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing really. Just going over my list of reading, in my head."

Quick on her feet she practically stumbled over her words. She was surprised she could think of any excuse at this point. But it was a believable one. Hopefully he hadn't noticed. She prayed he didn't. Out of her two best friends, Harry had always been the more perceptive one. He would be the one she went to just to talk. Flashbacks from not too long ago flooded her memories. She missed those times. But things were so very different now. They couldn't have that closeness without the awkwardness.

"You need to lie back and relax a little. This is over vacation - we should be enjoying it!"

"I can't relax I have a lot of work to do."

"You can put it off until later. We have all of break to study for NEWTs."

"Put it off? We can't put them off, they're only -"

But before she could continue Harry immediately cut her off raising his hands in front of him as to ward off the familiar lecture she would give him. He wouldn't let it go that easily though. He was determined to have his way at the moment and he wouldn't back down.

"Come on Hermione. I promise if you will just relax with me now we'll spend the last few days of vacation studying. I promise!"

Why couldn't she just say no to him? Perhaps it was those puppy dog eyes or that adorable boyish grin. But before she could give him her answer Dobby had arrived with their snack. Which wasn't much of a snack since there was more food on the plate then could possibly be deemed as a snack.

"Here you are Harry Potter sir and Miss! Just call out Dobby's name when you're finished."

Hermione began to pick at the snack that Dobby had placed before them. She wasn't very hungry. She noticed the jug with pumpkin juice and decided to pour herself a glass. Taking a sip from the goblet she conveniently avoided his proposal for the time being.

"This is just too much food."

Harry knew she was avoiding the question for the time being. So be it, he would bring it up later. But he was going to get an answer from her. Smirking towards Hermione he poured his own goblet of pumpkin juice as he reached for one of the muffins, bringing it to his mouth and taking a rather large bit.

"There's never too much food!"

"Pig. Chew with your mouth closed thank you very much."

"You don't like seeing the insides of my mouth?"

"Not in the least!"

"Suit yourself!"

Harry went on munching away. Of course this playful bantering was only in jest. Hermione had to shake her head. Honestly no matter how much he aged she would always think back to the boy she met back on the train in their first year. How much had he changed? How much had they all changed? Chuckling in between bites she gave him a mock stern look.

"Clown."

"Snob."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me!"

"I would watch where you step today Mr. Potter."

"I'll be waiting Ms. Granger."

A pause would enter the lull in the conversation. Of course she didn't take his comments seriously and neither did he. It was times like this where she forgot about the awkward feelings that took over her. Times like this where everything seemed perfectly normal. And then they came crashing back to her.

"Well I think it's about that time. I should really get to the library."

"But you've barely eaten a thing!"

"I wasn't that hungry. I'll take something with me."

"You still haven't answered my proposal."

Back at that again? He wasn't going to let go of it. Then again he would be the only other Gryffindor left in the commons with her. There would be no way to avoid him and they would have to spend some time together. Hopefully she would get through his break. She needed to. Halfheartedly she made up her mind.

"Fine. But - after today. I just want to get some of this done and then I'm all yours. Got that?"

He could feel his heart jump at the thought. All his? Those words seemed to ring in his ears at the sound of it. Oh how he would have loved for her to be all his. But he couldn't think like that. He just wanted their friendship back to the way it was. That was it. Then again Christmas was in the air and anything was possible. With a nod he would agree to her terms. Tonight he would put the first steps of his plans into motion.

"Alright. In that case meet me in the common room tonight around seven."

"I'll see you at seven."

And with that Hermione grabbed a muffin on the go as she made her way out of the kitchen. Once Hermione was out of the room Harry glanced down at the spot Hermione once occupied. A plan for tonight had come to mind and he would begin to put the first part into motion.

"Dobby?"

In the blink of an eye the little house elf was standing before him. With a smile towards the house elf he would glance down towards him.

"What can I do for Harry Potter sir?"

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Harry Potter is asking Dobby for a favor?"

"Yes."

"Anything for Harry potter sir!"

"Good now I was wondering if you could…"

Harry would tell his plans to Dobby and he seemed very excited by the idea. The little house elf would nod enthusiastically. He would be more then happy to do as Harry Potter had asked. And when he was done Harry placed a galleon in the elf's hand for his services.

"Thanks Dobby I appreciate it!"

"Dobby will take care of everything!"

Exiting the kitchens Harry made his way down the hall, smiling all the way. Everything was going to plan and hopefully tonight he would be able to figure out exactly what was bothering Hermione. He could only hope. He would just have to wait and see. Tonight would be the night.

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A/N: And there's the second chapter! A bit longer then the last one. Hopefully I can keep up with the pace and update as quickly as I did with this one. Hope you all are enjoying it! Thanks again to all the kind reviews! And thank you to those that put up with my insecurities about my writing and obviously much thanks to my betas! So with that I'll be closing out. Please remember to review once you're finished - I'd really appreciate it! Thanks!

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Created on ... December 07, 2006