Harry Doesn't Know

i found nemo

Rating: NC17
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 06/12/2006
Last Updated: 17/09/2007
Status: completed

Extremely A/U! Ch. 1: "Harry," she cooed petting his face, "it's not you, it's me." She shook her head and sighed, "See, there I go, lying again, no, it was you," she said throwing her hands up in the air, "your just so, predictable." Poor predictable Harry, after his ex-girlfriend stomps all over his heart, Harry's friends drag him along on the trip of a life time. *Now NC-17 for mushy gushy romance scenes* another exerpt from ch. 7: "Alright stop! Now we have a problem," he said obviously looking at his friends, "and there is only one way to solve this problem... Hermione has to seduce Krum." well hot damn what will happen?! R&R

Chapters

1. Predictable Harry

2. Harry Really Doesn't Know

3. Proclaimed Love and Fuzzy Vision

4. Muggle Air Plans and Football Hooligans

5. We're Not Going To Berlin

6. The 3 Mariachi's and A Nice Bum In Paris

7. Silent Bob and Hairy Peaches

8. The Bad, Bad Rastafarian and The Not Misfortunate Robbery

9. Half Naked Bargaining and Eastern Europe

10. The Big Question

11. All Pooped Out and A Near Fatal Drowning

12. Denied... NOT!

13. Morning Yodels and Happy Ending In Berlin?

14. The End is Near

15. The End is Here

1. Predictable Harry

Disclaimer: I do not own anything affiliated with Euro-Trip or Harry Potter, even though I will take credit for some of the insane events that appear throughout this story. I've always wanted to write a story of my life. :]]

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter One: Predictable Harry

...

The huge crowd full of green, blue, yellow, and maroon gowns threw their caps into the air and cheered as Dumbledore finished the end of his graduation speech. They had made it! After 16 years of Voldemort haunting their every move, Harry had finally destroyed him at the newly restored Godric's Hallow. Now, that they had graduated, life from there on out only seemed positive.

"Ahh, congratulations Hermione!" Harry said wrapping his arms around her and twirling her in the air.

"Harry! Put me down!" she giggled. Hermione hardly ever giggled.

"Well how does it feel?" he asked putting her down and smiling.

She smiled, a slight brush creeping up on her cheeks, "No different than being called the brightest witch of my age since I was eleven." She was positively beaming.

"Oh come on! This has to be different! You've gotten the highest N.E.W.T scores in over eight hundred years, Hermione! You'll be a legend!"

"Like she's not already going to be a legend for being the bossiest girl in Gryffindor," said Ron, joining the circle and hanging his arms over the others' shoulders.

"Ron!" scorned Hermione, trying to sound serious but failing desperately. The trio broke out into fits of laughter, reminiscing of their seven years at Hogwarts. They remembered the late night swims, the decorating of Slytherin's dungeons in merry Gryffindor colours, and all the times Ron had been drunk, ( Hermione and Harry had made it there pleasure to pull some insane prank on him every time he passed out, to teach him the consequences of drinking.).

"Harry!" squealed a voice in the crowd. Cho appeared form behind a group of Ravenclaws and jumped into Harry's awaiting arms, "Congratulations, graduate," she whispered in his ear.

"Yeah, just think about it this summer, it'll be me and you, my cottage, all alone," he said nuzzling her neck.

"Cho!" yelled the group of Ravenclaws, waving her back over.

"Um, actually Harry, we need to talk..."

"Yeah, about what?" He asked, still smiling and tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.

"About me dumping you," she said flatly.

His face dropped.

"What?"

"Oh, Hare-Bear, I just can't take all the lying and cheating anymore," she said in an innocent voice, her hand flattening the rumpled gown on his chest.

"What are you talking about, Cho I never cheated on you."

"I know, that's what makes this so hard," she added averting her eyes from his dumbfounded look. "Harry," she cooed petting his face, "it's not you, it's me." She shook her head and sighed, "See, there I go, lying again, no, it was you," she said throwing her hands up in the air, "your just so, predictable. I mean I thought that after you defeated him that you would perk up, you know gain some spiciness, but I guess once your boring, you'll always be boring"

Harry was still staring dumbfounded.

"CHO!!" yelled the group of Ravenclaws across the hall.

"Whoops, gotta go, see ya," she said the last in a sing song voice and kissing his cheek.

Harry still stared after her dumbfounded.

"Whoa mate, that was a bit brutal," said Seamus coming up behind him. Harry turned back to find all of the graduated Gryffindors staring at him.

He still looked dumbfounded.

"Well, good thing we've got plenty of Ogden's for the party tonight," said Ron trying to lighten the mood.

"Come on, Harry." this time it was Hermione stepping forward and placing a hand on his back along with grabbing his elbow, like he was a senior citizen with schizophrenia.

....

"Oh my god," said Harry two hours later. Hermione had sent him to his dormitory to get in a quick kip before the feast tonight. Instead of sleeping, he chose to lay immobile on his for poster staring at the ceiling. Ron was currently finishing the packing of his trunk until Harry spoke. He paused, waiting for Harry to elaborate.

"Oh my fucking god, Ron, she broke up with me."

"Well, yeah mate. Life can treat you like shite sometimes, eh?" he really wasn't qualified to help in situations like these. Where was Hermione when you needed her?

"Did she really do it in front of the whole hall?" he asked desperately. Ron only nodded, confirming his fears.

"Fuck," he growled, throwing his arms over his face.

"Well look at the brightside mate!" said Seamus cheerfully, coming in from the noisy stair case and shutting the door behind him. "Now all the females will be all over you, asking you if they can assist in any way to relieve the pain," he finished winking at him.

"Ahh, the powers of sympathy sex." added Ron nodding his head in agreement.

"Thy force is a powerful one," replied Seamus.

"Lucky bastard," the said together, Ron throwing a pillow at him.

"What are you on about Ron? I thought you said you were in love with your quill-pal, Leigh?" inquired Harry, easily catching the pillow.

"What your still writing the bloke? I though he only sent an owl to the wrong address last year?" Seamus questioned confused.

"It's not a bloke Seamus, Leigh is a girl!" said a protesting Ron, "all I said was that she was an intriguing person." he said defiantly, eyes now downcast.

"Ah yes mate, but then again how many times is the word 'intriguing' in Ron Weasley's vocabulary?" Harry ducked a trainer that was aimed at his head by a protesting Ron.

"Better be careful Ron," said Hermione entering the dorm followed closely by Ginny, "all these German girls like to do is lure you into false pretences, next thing you know they want to "arrange a meeting", she gestured doing air quotes, "where she will gas you, and stuff you in the back of her cellar and make a wind chime out of your genitals." she finished, sitting next to Harry on his bed who had managed to crack a rare smile through her lecture.

"Where'd you say this girl was from?" asked Ginny, sitting on top of Dean's trunk.

"Berlin, Germany."

"Hey, you know Luna Lovegood moved there earlier this year," Ginny supplied randomly.

"Can we not mention Loony Lovegood and my genitals in the same conversation please?" Ron asked, arms out as if to cease any unwanted retorts.

"Easy Ron, don't get your knickers in a twist." said Neville, coming through the dormitory door. "You lot better get downstairs, the party is about to start."

Hermione looked to Harry.

"Can you handle it?" she asked him privately.

"Screw it, I'm not going to let Cho ruin my graduation night," he said standing up and pulling Hermione with him.

...

Well how do you like? I've always been a fan of the movie, especially since this is basically (with some minor differences :P ) what me and my mates did after graduating from boarding school, and then a movie comes out similar to it.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this story is definitely AU, with Dumbledore never dying, no such thing as horcruxes and Cho being a total biyatch and Harry being the most unpredictable character in the Harry Potter novels.

This is really coming easy to write, since I have a movie and past experiences to base it on.

Next chapter should be out soon,

Cheers!

XOXO

2. Harry Really Doesn't Know

Disclaimer: I do knot own anything remotely related to Harry Potter, or Euro-Trip.

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter 2: Harry Really Doesn't Know

...

If Gryffindors were known for anything, it was their courage and bravery, their loyalty, and their knowledge of how to throw one hell of a party. Arrangements for the Gryffindor Graduation Party, ( Yes, it deserved to be capitalized.) had been set into play almost two months before graduation. So many things had to be done and everyone who was someone played a vital role in facilitating with the plans. First, the Gryffindors knew that all of the graduating class (except those Slytherin wankers!) and then some wanted to go to this party. Gryffindor's common room surely wasn't going to fit near the amount of people intended, so one task was clearing out the entire Gryffindor tower. In order for everyone to have unlimited access to the common room they had to get the Fat Lady out of her portrait, (Hermione and Ginny devised a bullet proof plan, telling the Fat Lady that Lord Gryffindor himself desired a chat with her down on the main floor, cast a mobilcorpus on the portrait and leaved it propped open, and viola! Unlimited access.). The next object was food, which was unanimously passed on to Ron as his responsibility. The job was made easy for Ron with the invisibility cloak, the marauder's map, a huge chilled crate, and the marvellous shrinking spell. Next would be the music, that no one knew that Dean had a hobby for. Eight massive stereos were set up in various places through out Gryffindor tower so there would be smooth and equal ministrations, all night long.

A party means dozens of good memories, and what's the use of good memories if they can't be preserved on a roll of film? So naturally, Gryffindor's very own Colin Creevey was allowed admittance to the party on a few terms; one, he couldn't drink, two, he had to stay responsible, and three, he had to document memories of everyone- not just Harry.

And last on the list, but certainly not the least less important factor, entertainment. And along with entertainment came two names:

Fred and George.

The twins insisted on keeping their work a secret before the night of the party. Which of course meant that it would be nothing short of amazing. After all, the twins never had a graduation party to go to.

This was surely going to be the most phenomenal party Hogwarts has seen since the Marauder's time.

Oh, they would be so proud.

....

The party was a rage, people laughing and dancing in every corner of Gryffindor tower. The six had barely made it down the stairs before they were forced to squeeze into the over crowded common room.

"Neville," questioned Ginny, "I thought you said the party was about to start?"

"Well that was two and a half minutes ago. What can I say, the word travelled fast," he yelled over the now blaring music.

"This is so against fire code," Hermione commented as she was forced to press into Harry's chest in order to move any where.

Harry smiled at her, "'Mione, they're witches and wizards, I'm pretty sure if a fire where to start someone would distinguish it, my little parole officer."

"Shut up, Harry," she laughed, swatting at his arm.

They had finally made it out into the hall which was still absolutely bubbling with people. The portraits looked like they were in shock from the events that were going on. Bright blue cups levitated in the air. Harry held up his hand and summoned two cups, and handed one to Hermione. After Harry had taken a swig from his cup Parvati Patil made her way over to Harry.

"Hey Harry," she ventured seeing what type of mood he was in.

"What's up Parvati?"

"Well I heard about the whole Cho incident. She's a whore." she stated plainly.

"Ah, well, that's very sweet of you," he said raising his cup to her and looking to turn in the opposite direction. She caught his arm and turned him back to face her. He impatiently took a drink from his cup.

"Well I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about it with someone," her hand had travelled it's way from his elbow to his chest, moving southward, "I'm here for you."

Harry half choked on his whiskey and immediately pulled her hand away from his belt buckle, "Uh, thanks for the offer," he said, looking wildly around for Hermione.

Parvati simply shrugged, "You know where to find me."

'Oh boy,' Harry thought, taking another deep gulp from his cup, rendering it empty. In the time it took him to summon another cup and make his way to Hermione's back in the crowd, a fast song started playing, which left every one bumping and grinding to the rhythm. Harry seen an old sod from Ravenclaw that Hermione was talking to extend his hand to her. Before the invitation could leave his mouth, Harry came up from behind and whispered, "Dance with me, Hermione." When she turned around they were in such close proximity that she didn't really have a choice, so in a Ron like gesture, she knocked back the contents of the holy blue cup and started rocking her hips to match Harry's. Much to both Harry and Hermione's dismay the song eventually ended, in which during the time Harry and Hermione had emptied another three cups each.

"I've been brainstorming ideas on what to do to Ron tonight," said Harry mirthfully lifting a pointed finger in the air as if to boast, and also summoning two more cups.

She gave him a sly grin shortly before everyone's attention was directed to the centre back wall of the hall. A stage they hadn't noticed before was there, with Dean (a blue cup of whiskey in hand) and a microphone on top. Dean tapped on top of the microphone, calling for peoples attention.

"Oi! Everyone! I'd just like to welcome you to Gryffindor's Graduation Bash!" he yelled throwing his hands in the air and letting the crowd roar at him.

"Yes, I know, I know, we Gryffindors are bloody amazing, but are you have a fucking good time or what?!" Again, throwing his arms over his head and letting the crowd make more noise then a Hungarian Horntail about to give birth.

"Alright good, that's all that matters, but if you're having a good time now, you'll be having an absolutely smashing time in a few moments, because I've a surprise for you," he said balancing himself on the microphone, "and no, I'm not getting naked." The crowd booed and whistled at Dean, while Harry and Hermione looked at each other and shared a laugh. "Okay, maybe later," the crowd cheered, " but for now please make yourself at home, get sloshed, find that significant someone and give 'em a wet kiss, and enjoy, for your ears only, The Weird Sisters!" he finally shouted nearly falling off stage. The crowd roared as various instruments started placing themselves on stage. The band finally jumped on stage and stared at their audience. The singer grabbed the mike and said into it,

"This one is for the feisty, and freakiest little sex puppet I know, the delicious Cho Chang, happy anniversary, baby," he finished, tonguing Cho as she leapt on stage in a tank and short mini skirt. The lights dimmed and the guitar started blaring along with the man's very catchy tune.

"WHOOOOOA!

Harry doesn't know that Cho and me

Do it in my dorm every Sunday,

She tells him she's in church

But she doesn't go,

Still she's on her knees and Harry doesn't know!"

Harry had regained the dumbfounded expression as he gazed up at stage, watching Cho basically hump the wanker's hip. He quickly drank the remaining whiskey, smacked his lips together and summon another and took a straight shot of it.

"Who wants to play Whiskey Pong?" he asked pathetically.

'It was going to be a long night.'

....

Oh my! Students getting wasted after graduation, Hermione dancing, Dean pledging to strip, and Harry wanting to play Whiskey Pong?

What the bloody hell is going on, right?

Well, this story is AU for a reason [: )

Sorry if this was too short for some of you but I hope you enjoyed none the less, this certainly was fun to write.

3. Proclaimed Love and Fuzzy Vision

Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip.

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter 3: Proclaimed Love and Fuzzy Vision

[A/N]: This is currently being beta'd by myself, so if anyone is interested, please say so!

...

Fuzzy.

Everything was fuzzy.

His vision- fuzzy.

Memories from last night- fuzzy.

The head of hair he was laying next to- fuzzy.

The bra that had found it's way strapped onto Harry's chest- fuzzy... and pink.

Harry emitted a low groan not daring to open his eyes.

After moments of not being able to drift back into a post-drunken slumber, Harry peeled one eye open cautiously. He was in the boy's dormitory along with Ginny, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Lavender, Susan, hundreds of those devilish blue cups, and Hermione who was laying at his side with her head buried into the crook of his arm. He closed his eye, starting to remember some of the events from last night. Clips of ping pong, muggle playing cards, a realistically looking bucking bull with Ron strapped on top, him and the residents of the room playing cops and robbers, and telling ghost stories of Boobie the seahorse littered his mind.

"I'm never drinking again," he said to himself bringing his hand up to wipe the drool of his mouth and realigning his glasses.

"Mmm, you say that every time, Harry," rasped Hermione from beside him. He turned to look at her. She had rolled over on her back with one hand on her forehead and the other pinching the bridge of her nose. She was in a white bikini with a big dollar sign in red ink drawn across her abdomen.

"Your one to talk. I guess you where the money?"

"And you were the robber?" she observed eyeing the black stripes drawn all across his body. "Sweetie, I think that bra is just a tad to big for you."

"Hey," he said in a fake innocence, grabbing on of his faux boobs, " it doesn't hurt to dream."

She let out a laugh followed by a quick grown, "Ughh what happened- no, don't answer that." Harry could tell she was remembering some details from last night by the way her brow furrowed. "Wow, we just keep getting better and better with things to do to Ron don't we?" she smiled as she remembered muggle tapping an intoxicated Ron onto a stagnant bull, before it started it's cycle of bucking again.

"Practice makes perfect." Harry breathed, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah well, I don't think I'll be having many nights like these from now on," she sighed.

"When do you leave for Paris?"

"Krammer wanted to meet with me in his office before we leave, he said around 10:30."

"Er, Hermione-"

"It's 10:30 isn't it?"

"Afraid so."

In a matter of thirty seconds Hermione had jumped up off the bed (almost falling over, mind you), transfigured herself clean and into a professional suit, banished her trunk to McGonagall's office (she'd be taking the floo out), said a hurried apology and farewell to Harry, tripped over Dean and was on her way out of the tower.

....

After a few minutes of stumbling over himself and the other bodies in the room, Harry managed to put on some decent clothes, and then again started stumbling out of the dorm.

"Sobriety potion awaits," he muttered to himself clanging on to the rail of the spiral staircase. "Why? Why does the bloody stair case have to be in spirals?"

To his surprise, the common room was spotless save for Ron huddled by the window, ('How'd he escape the bull?') but there was not one blue cup in site.

'My compliments to Dobby.' he thought impressively thinking of the self-abusive house elf, probably making loin clothes out of the cups.

"Alright there, Ron?" he asked, wondering over to his ginger haired friend. Ron's eyes were red and blotchy, his face pale, and his hair ruffled. He was staring persistently out the window. He shook his head.

"I just made the biggest mistake of my life," he said somberly. Harry raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"Who'd you impregnate?"

"Harry this is serious! Last night I-I.. I got a letter from Leigh last night." he said still sadly staring out the window.

"How'd you impregnate Leigh over a letter?"

"No! I-I, I was really drunk, Dobby had just released me from that bull, by the way thanks mate," he added sarcastically, "anyway, Dobby told me I had a letter, and it was from Leigh. In the letter she told me she was coming to England asked if I wanted to get together with her. And I-I..."

"You told her you didn't want children?" Harry ventured, ducking a blow from Ron.

"Actually no, you mindless twat. I took Hermione's advice and told her to keep her hands off my genitals."

"Hmm, well write her back and tell her you were drunk and it was a mistake," he said simply. Ron shook his head,

"It's not that simple, she owl blocked me. She's unlisted as well so I can't even call her felly tone."

"What the hell is a 'felly tone'?" asked a mumbling Seamus coming down the stairs. "Whoa, this place is clean." Seamus still had the word 'Police' stamped to his forehead from last night's escapades.

"Well-" Harry began before Ron quickly cut him off.

"I'm in love with Leigh. I'm in love with my quill pal." He stated. "But I've made a mistake that I can't reverse. I can't even contact her."

Seamus looked from Ron to Harry, "Does he always sound this sober the night after a party?"

"Shut up! Someone just tell me what to do!"

Harry looked at Ron seriously for a few moments before his mouth opened and turned back to Seamus, " Seamus why are you wearing my bath robe?"

"Oh, I'm sorry- but somebody pissed all over mine last night!"

"Oh you two are fucking hopeless!" shouted Ron, closing his eyes and throwing his head against the window pane.

"So go to Berlin." suggested Seamus in a way like it was the most obvious answer.

"Wait, he can't just go to Berlin." said Harry rolling his eyes like it was obvious.

"Yes he can."

"Yes I can," agreed Ron lifting his head off the panel.

"What about your internship for Puddlemere?" Harry queried with raised eyebrows.

"But what about your love for Leigh?" countered Seamus. Harry sagged his shoulders in defeat. 'Oh now he'd gone and done it.'

"I'm going to Berlin." he said triumphantly standing up.

"Good on you mate," said Seamus clapping him over the back and giving Harry a winning look as he headed back upstairs.

"I'm going to Germany!" Ron stated again excitedly.

"No mate," her smooth and fake innocent voice played in his head again, 'Your just so, predictable,', " we're going to Germany."

'But will someone please get me sobriety potion first!'

...

Ahh so there off!

I will say it again, this story is extremely, EXTREMELY AU! Hell, if JKR seen this she'd probably hunt me down and smack me over the head with a shovel a few times.

If you may have wondered about Ron being extremely OOC here I wanted it to have already dawned on him that he had fallen in love and fucked up by the time Harry got to him.

Didn't like Hermione's leave? Bah, me either. I wanted it to happen differently but it just fit that way I guess.

Hope you had a decent enough read.

Cheers!

XOXO

4. Muggle Air Plans and Football Hooligans

Disclaimer: I do not own anything remotely related to Harry Potter, or Euro-trip.

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter 4: Muggle Air Plans and Football Hooligans

...

"Ron, how are we going to get to Berlin?" Harry was confused alright, so far he had been to caught up in wondering if this was the right thing to be doing to realize that him and Ron, were currently walking down a busy muggle street in London, with just the simple necessities in a knapsack thrown over their shoulders.

"Don't worry, I got it covered."

"Is that supposed to comfort me?"

"Well remember when I told you about Charlie going to Egypt?" he asked as they waited to cross the street.

"No Ron, you never told me that story."

"Oh, well intrantional and international floo are two different things-"

"No!" Harry mocked sarcastically, as they crossed the street and climbed up on the sidewalk and entered a busy muggle building.

"Yeah, so that was out of the picture, we can't floo since we don't have anyone's grate address there, and an unauthorized portkey would take too long."

"So?"

"So, we are taking what I believe you call an air plan!" He finished stopping in front of Harry with his arms outstretched and twirling in circles. A Japanese family a few feet away were shaking their heads and giving Harry's ginger haired best mate dirty looks.

Harry laughed, "Do you mean an air plane?"

"That's what I said," continued Ron, resuming his strides to a counter that had no line. Harry looked at the display board behind the counter which had various air lines and numbers written on it in neon blue writing. Harry glanced down at the little golden plate that was sitting on the surface of the counter.

"We're going to be couriers?" he asked Ron, who had already started filling out the paper work.

"Yeah, this is what Charlie did. Since we don't have the most sufficient funding, we have to spend as little money as possible." Ron was wrestling with the airport's pen that was linked to the counter. "Bloody muggle utensils! How is anyone supposed to write if the bloody string keeps strangling their arms! Reminds me of one of those Argentinean Sticking Worms Loony used to talk about-"

"Ron, you know we don't have to do this, be couriers I mean. I had Dobby convert some of my money from Gringotts into pounds a while ago," he said pulling out a thick wad of 500 pound notes from his pocket.

"We should still save as much as possible," he said, continuing with the form.

"You really did your homework this time, huh?" asked Harry stuffing the muggle money back into his pocket. Ron cracked a grin.

"Do you think Hermione would be proud?"

"Are you kidding me!" exclaimed Harry, "If Hermione even came close to finding out you can be like this she would have you hanging from your heels until blood started pouring out of your ears." Ron laughed innocently while Harry still had his serious look on.

Ron stopped, "Dear Merlin, she would."

The two friends shared a laugh before acquitting to standing in silence with smiles on their faces.

"I need a direct flight to Berlin," Ron told the attendant, who had just came out from the back room. "Neville?” Ron asked in surprise upon seeing the bloke's face.

"Ron, Harry? What are you doing in a muggle air port?" Neville asked curiously, hopefully not to embarrassed.

"We're going to Germany, what are you doing here?" Harry interrogated back.

"Work here for the summer. Gran s'pects I should learn all aspects of adulthood, including working at a muggle airport, since you never know where your life will take you," he recited. You could tell they were his Gran's words exactly.

"I'm sorry mate," said Ron, "that sounds truly horrible." Harry nodded his head solemnly, "But we're kind of in a rush, we need two tickets to Berlin as couriers, quickest as possible."

"Okay, let me check." Neville buried his head behind the computer screen.

Harry caught Ron's eye. "We're really going to do this, huh?" he asked making himself believe it.

"Oh, we're doing this-"

"Sorry guys, but we don't have a direct flight to Berlin for another week." reported Neville, coming up from his computer.

"A week? But I need to go to Berlin now!" Ron shouted in disbelief, attracting more looks from various multi-cultured people.

"Uh," he voiced, checking his screen, "I can get you to Dublin later today which from there will get you to Berlin late tomorrow night?"

"We'll take it." Ron laid down a couple muggle notes that Harry handed him. Neville handed them the tickets then took the cash off the counter.

"Longbottom! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" an anonymous voice roared from behind the counter.

"D-d-depositing the money sir," Neville squeaked as a medium size man with a few strands of hair plastered across his scalp, wearing a blue vest with a gold pin of 'Manager' appeared behind him.

"What did I tell you specifically? Never- EVER- hand tickets out before you have the money in the register!" the manager screamed into his ear.

"I'm s-s-sorry, s-sir." Neville had his shoulders raised and his head ducked to prevent any more slobber-attacks on his ear.

"Oh, your a disgrace," huffed the manager, turning on his heel and storming through the back door. Neville was still shaking as he put the money in the register.

"Neville," reprimanded Ron, "You shouldn't take that shite from the wanker!"

"That wanker is my boss, there's nothing I can do." Neville replied, ashamed of his actions. Harry shared a look with Ron, who nodded his head.

"Come with us."

Those three words made Neville's head snap up like a lightening bolt. "What?"

"Come with us, Neville!" Harry and Ron said again excitedly.

He downcast his eyes again, "No, I really can't, my Gran would kill me if I blew this job."

"Oh come one Neville! Who better than us to teach you some self confidence, eh? In Germany no less!" Neville looked up at his friends, who both had hope mirroring in their eyes. He opened his mouth to respond-

"LONGBOTTOM! Look at the mess you've made in here you imbecile!" shrieked the manager again coming from the back office.

"Your resp- what the bloody hell do you think your doing boy?!"

"Quitting," Neville muttered as he threw the company vest he wore to the floor and hopped over the counter to join the beaming pair of Gryffindors. "I'm going to Germany," Harry nudged Neville in the side and whispered something into his ear, "We're going to Germany, a-asshole." Harry and Ron cheered, both clapping Neville on the shoulder and dragging him away with them, jeering at the fumbled manager as they left.

"Well I'm proud of you, Nev," said Harry as they broke out into the crowded street, "I honestly didn't know if you had it in you."

"Yeah well I think I'm going to be doing a lot of adjusting this summer." he said quietly, still not believing what he had just done.

"Says here we don't depart till 7 tonight," reported Ron, reading off the tickets, "that'll give you enough time to go pack some things Neville," he finished putting the tickets back in the envelope.

"Uh-oh business Ronnie is back," Harry teased pinching the side of his cheek.

"Shove off, prat."

...

"Has it ever occurred to you, that we've lived here our whole life, yet we've never actually seen what this city has to offer?" asked Neville walking down the mouth of the alley to meet Ron and Harry.

"What the hell is that?" Ron asked referencing to the book in his hands.

"This is Robert Krammer's A Guide To Europe, it's quite an interesting read."

"I'll bet," Harry commented stifling a laugh.

"Your taking a guide book with you? What happened to packing the bare necessities?"

Ignoring Harry's comment and Ron's question, Neville continued on with his charade, "Er, right. Well what do you want to do? There's the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace..."

"Ehh," Ron was obviously uninterested in Neville's options.

"There's no drinking age," added Harry with a sly grin.

"There we go," Ron said, leading the other two to a bar across the street entitled, 'The Feisty Goat.'

The three joked at the name as they entered the bar, Ron walking up to the counter and looking around. There was a group of large men, all wearing red, huddled in a corner. The group quieted and slowly looked up at the intruders with dangerous glints in their eyes. The three boys gulped in fear.

"Football hooligans," Harry observed, his eyes wondering over the men's various tattoos and eye patches.

"Hey, this isn't Buckingham Palace!" Ron tried, nudging Harry and Neville and starting for the door.

"Oi!" an intimidating voice said loudly in front of the trio, stopping them from their escape. "Who the bloody hell are you?" The towering man was muscular, wearing a black tailored jacket over a red collared polo, with a shaved head and a solid stare, sure to make any little girl quiver.

Neville quivered.

"This is a private members bar," the man continued, stepping forward which lead the three boys shuffling backwards, "exclusively for the supporters of the greatest football team in the world; Manchester United." he said the last part, pulling his jacket forward in a sophisticated manor, "Now please, enlighten me, who the fuck are ya?" he screamed, spit flying from his mouth.

"Th-that is a good question, and... Neville?" Harry supplied, him and Ron taking a step backward so Neville was alone in front of the glaring man.

"Er, we're the Manchester United fan club- from Scotland," Harry passed a disbelieving look at Neville.

"If your Manchester United supporters, sing the Manchester United song." the boss demanded fiercely. A supporter behind the boss gave Neville a toothy grin.

Neville winced, "Uh, I'm sorry- I-I'm not much of a singer." The boss smashed a bottle of liquor someone from behind handed him and emitted a war cry.

"Ahh!! Sing!"

"My baby takes the morning train," Ron looked to Neville in shock, 'We're done for' he thought miserable as Neville continued, "he works from nine to five and then," the hooligans began taking out their various choices of weaponry, including all but not limited to knives, batons, beer bottles, chains, spiked brass knuckles..., "he takes another home again," Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, 'Goodbye Hermione Ms. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Remus, Tonks,', Neville winced as he seen a ferocious man crack his knuckles, "T-to find me... watching the Manchester United football team! Eh?" he finished triumphantly looking around at the hooligans, "the best freaking team in all the land, whoo-hoo!" he shouted pumping his fist in the air.

The look on the man's face looked all sorts of insulted. Neville gulped, letting his adam's apple bob up and down a few times. Harry and Ron just looked at each other with unreadable expressions.

"Pretty good," nodded the head hooligan, "pretty damn good lads!" he finally yelled pumping both brick sized fists into the air. The men around him also cheered, raising their weapons in the air. The three were both just standing there in utter surprise, not daring to move before the head hooligan ordered, " A round of beer for the Scottish boys!"

"Where the bloody hell did you come up with that song?" Ron asked, gratefulness and confusion mixed in his tone.

"I-I, its Gran's favorite." he stuttered taking the beer given to him from the head hooligan, Bernie, (who had cracked them open using his eyes...). Ron and Harry also took the proffered drinks as the crowd started singing in the tune of Scotland's song in a drunken chant.

"My baby takes the morning train,

He works from 9 to 5 and then,

He takes another home again,

To find me waiting for him."

Sheena Easton- Morning Train (9 to 5)

...

Boy that's a great song. Ha-ha, anyway I really wanted to fit poor Neville into the picture because I love that little tyke. The bar scene was taken directly from Euro-trip, so if I've written it poorly you may reference there. I want to make it clear that not a whole lot of magic is planned to be in this fic. I just haven't decided yet because, I mean this is Harry Potter. Also Ron was really OOC in this chapter because he's serious about being in love with Leigh, so he's going to do whatever it takes to get to her. Thanks for reading! I respond to all reviews and really appreciate them. They really make me smile (which isn't something I've been doing a lot lately with my brother and my girlfriend both residing in the hospital for the holidays..)

Anywhoo~Cheers!

XOXO

5. We're Not Going To Berlin

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter 5: We're Not Going To Berlin

[AN] Also, I know not many of you will be willing with the hlidays coming up, but I do need a beta. I've been doing it myself but I'm not sure if I'm the best for the job, so if your interested please say so! Thanks.

....

Hermione's head lay against the trunk of her favourite beech tree, with her favourite book, Hogwarts, A History propped up in her lap. Hermione sighed and closed the thick volume, finishing it for the 509th time.

"Beautiful day," said that same Ravenclaw sod that had talked to her at the graduation party, walking up from behind her. "Shouldn't you be spending the day with your friends?"

"Harry and Ron are in Berlin." she told him from the ground. She looked beautiful with the afternoon sun illuminating her chocolate eyes and wavy chestnut locks.

"That Harry guy is one mental bloke," commented the Ravenclaw, sitting down next to her. His sea blue eyes stared into hers intently.

"Why do you say that?" Hermione had yet to break the gaze.

"Because he hasn't asked you out yet," his hands snaked towards hers through the grass, "I mean if I had a beautiful, bright, and talented friend like you I would have definitely made my move by now."

Hermione broke the gaze and looked out into the tides of he lake, her mouth agape.

"Oh my god, why hasn't he asked me out yet?" She sounded perplexed with her eyebrows furrowed. "I mean the opportunities have been there, he just didn't make a move."

"Maybe it is time to stop waiting for him and give yourself to some one else." By now he was inches from her face, one hand placed on the side of her thigh. She focused on him with a seductive look, which made her muddy orbs darker.

"I guess predictable Harry is still hung up on Cho." She finished, touching the Ravenclaw’s knee cap. Within a matter of seconds Hermione was laying flat on the moist green grass, the Ravenclaw on top and in between her legs kissing her with as much force as a raging Hippogriff.

....

"NOO!" Harry screamed, jumping so high he fell off the couch he had passed out on. He looked around, realigning his glasses. 'It was a dream,' he sighed in ease. 'A nightmare rather.'

"I'm never drinking again," Harry voiced out loud, wiping his mouth and climbing back onto the couch. Once resting safely on the couch, he put his head back and looked up. He was met with a dazzling baby blue sky. "What the hell?" he wondered lifting his head back up and looking around. Moving forestry were on both sides of his peripherals. "Ron, wake up," he said elbowing his snoring mate besides him.

"But I don't want to wear the pink one," he giggled in his sleep. 'Well I'm glad to see someone having a pleasant dream,' Harry thought rolling his eyes.

"RON!"

"Huh?" he voiced, his eyes snapping open and his head recoiling off the neck wrest. "Whoa, wild night," he groaned, stretching and cracking his back in his seat.

"You think? Notice anything a little off?" Harry questioned, raising his eyebrows at the still awakening Ron.

"Uh," Ron stood up from the couch and looked around, "uhh, what that hell?" The wind had picked up and was now tussling the standing Ron and Harry's hair. "Harry where the hell are we going?" Ron yelled, running over to the railing of the bus and looking down. Ron's eyes met the asphalt and white lines of the highway. Harry was currently trying to dig out Neville from the huge tub of footballs.

"Oh man, where are we?" asked Neville once he was free from the tank of black and red balls. He was in the fetal position holding his head like it would fall off at any moment.

"Good question!" roared Ron from the rail side.

"We don't know where we are, except that we are driving on the highway in the hooligans' bus." Explained Harry simply.

"Oh- uh, don't worry. If anything happens my Gran will find us." Neville said still on his knees holding his hands up as to calm down Ron.

....

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE QUIT?!" bellowed Neville's grandmother, shaking some poor innocent ticketer over the counter. "Where did he go?!" Her stuffed vulture's tail feathers were poking the young and pimpled ticketer in the face.

"P-pl-please miss, I d-don't know where he w-went." the boy squirmed. Congratulations to the ticketer, because he was about to get front row seats to Neville's Gran's coffee scented breath and pitbull temper.

"Well you better find out you little punk. And pull your pants up!"

....

Harry, Ron, and Neville descended the stairs down into the first floor of the bus and heard the sounds of loud voices, clinking bottles, and hard rock music.

"Hey you scallywags!" shouted one of the Hooligans, jumping up from his seat and shaking Harry's collar. Ron continued on his way, disentangling himself from the bottle holding bodies and looking for Bernie. He spotted him sitting at a table discussing something that sounded very important to his other co-supporters.

"Look, given the current geopolitical climate, all European countries should have a seat at the table." His listeners nodded their heads and took swigs from their beers, "Except those fucking Ities. I hate them Italian bastards, you know what I mean?" he said querying at some of his mates.

"Excuse me," interrupted Ron taking a seat next to him, five bottles were suddenly offered to him. Ron shook them off.

"Oh hello boyo!" said Bernie grinning at the tasselled haired Ron.

"Hi, uh what happened last night?"

Bernie laughed, "Ha, you got steamed up, pissed as a fart I tell ya, too much sauce son!" he finished winking at him. Ron looked sick. "Don't worry though, I came and got ya- so you wouldn't miss the trip!"

"W-what trip? Where are we going?" Ron was positively in shock. Might as well feed the tickets to Berlin to one of the hooligans.

"What do you mean, 'where are we going'?" Bernie laughed clapping Ron on the shoulder. "We're going to see the Mighty Reds through the frogs in Paris! Aren't we boys!" The bus cheered and raised their bottles in the air.

"Dear god," Ron got up and pushed his way to Harry and Neville who were sitting down next to a chattering man with bug eyes and a shirt that said, "KILL SOMETHING".

"So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in her tradesman's entrance and have her lick me yard balls!" the man barked out and emptied his drink all in one chug. Neville was just staring at the man in shock. He hadn't a clue people could even fit those words in the same sentence. Harry was in awe.

"Wow. You guys are on a completely different level of swearing over here." The man next to him nodded his head, appreciating the comment.

"Harry? Neville? Harry, Neville we're going to Paris." Ron told them finally breaking through the barricade of bodies.

"Oh we know. Cesil told us." Harry motioned over to the bug eyed man. "Isn't this great? Hermione's in Paris!"

"Leigh's in Berlin. We're not going to Berlin. What are we gonna do? We need a plan." Ron finished spelling out the seriousness of the situation.

"Holy hell," said Neville looking up to Ron like he was the great wizard, Merlin, himself, "your acting like Harry. Predictable Harry."

"Hey," Harry warned at Neville sounding offended. "Ron relax, Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute." Ron opened his mouth to respond before Harry cut him off going back into lecture mode, "That's why France and Germany have always been allies." Cesil nodded his head in confirmation, "Allies."

"What- are you still drunk?" Ron asked in disbelief. Harry tilted his head as if he was asking his subconscious the same question. Neville had his head lolled back against the window, passed out again (which made Harry proud to see him that sloshed).

"Okay, okay," said Ron, his fingers rubbing his temples and in very deep thought (something that was very foreign to Ron unless it was which dessert to eat first), "first thing in Paris we go to the airport and get tickets to Berlin. Agreed?"

"Agreed!" chanted both Harry and Cesil raising one beer and fist in the air together. Cesil emitted a loud belch. Ron only shook his head and clapped a hand to his forehead.

.....

Short chapter; because I knocked this out in less than thirty minutes, and I wanted to save the next adventure for another chapter. Oh yeah big reminder, *I do not have ANYTHING against Italians! That came directly out of Euro-Trip and only because I thought the whole "geopolitical climate" thing was funny. And trust me, I had to get permission from my girlfriend who is fully Italian. So I'm really, really, really, sorry if anyone was offended by my completely ridiculous sense of humour.

Anyway hope you enjoyed! Next chapter should be out relatively quick. All I'm doing is sitting in a small room while my brother is passed out from large amounts of morphine.

Happy Holidays!

XOXO

6. The 3 Mariachi's and A Nice Bum In Paris

Disclaimer: I do not own anything remotely related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip.

Harry Doesn't Know

Chapter 6: The 3 Mariachi's and A Nice Bum In Paris

....

The horn of the hooligan's bus was blaring, honking and tooting, all the way into Paris.

"Get out of the way ya snail eating puffs! Move your ass you Gaelic fucking garlic bread tossers! Oh piss off! Learn how to drive will ya, ya good for nothin' French twit. Are ya gonna head butt me mate? Oh fuck off! Get in here and say that, you froggy Itie shities!"

"Well at least he got us here quickly," commented Harry, sitting calmly across from Ron and Neville who were in total shock, and looked like they were about to get sick.

"Yeah, and they drove worse than the bloody night bus. It's a damn good thing that bloke looks intimidating and worse than a werewolf in heat or I'd think half of France would be after our arses by now." Ron looked outside the bus window where cars were headed straight for the massive bus.

"You wanna beep, we'll beep ya bastard all over your fucking nose!" Bernie was again yelling at the front of the bus. "Get outta the way, piss off you fuckin' toad." Ron looked back at Harry with an exasperated look.

"Be thankful."

The bus crashed to a stop, and the whole bus started shouting their support for Manchester. Bernie took his jacket of and stepped off the bus sophisticatedly. The smile on his face as he looked around suddenly vanished as he focused his attention somewhere down the street.

"Hey lads!" called Bernie holding his hands up, "That wanker's got a frog football shirt on!" The bus started to file out around Bernie staring the little man who had turned to look at them down. The poor bloke was shaking in his slippers, his bag a vegetables vibrating in his grip. The men started their routine, taking out their weapons.

"Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! Ahh!" he cried in battle stance, the rest of his crew running down the alley at the Frenchman who had abandoned his vegetables and sprinted around the corner of the street.

Harry, Ron, and Neville were last off the bus. "Well alright then, let's head off to the nearest station!" Ron clapped his hands together and took off in the opposite direction of the hooligans.

.....

"Come on you bloody street light."

"Ron, I highly doubt that one street light is going to be the difference of you and Leigh spending the rest of your life together. Chill out mate."

"No Harry, it's not the time I'm worried about, it's these bloody mariachi singers behind us. Annoying the bloody hell out of me, they are." Harry spinned around and looked at three figures, one with a guitar, one with two little drums wrapped around his enormous stomach, and another standing single, all wearing vibrant red shirts which were sparkling in the light of the street lamps. Harry let out a laugh.

"Come on, Ron. Poor blokes are probably only trying to make a buck or two." Neville prodded the moody Ron in the arm.

"They don't have to sing so bloody loud or dress like queers though," he attempted, pressing the button for the street crossing signal again.

"What's wrong with singing? Neville likes it. My baby takes the morning train, he works from 9 to 5 and then!!" Neville joined in with Harry, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and swinging delightfully, "He takes another home again to find me waiting for him!" A passerby stopped and smiled at them, throwing a few coins next to their backpacks. Harry turned around and winked at Ron, who shook his head defeated.

"Oi, what the hell are you on about? This is our corner, go find somewhere else!" yelled a British voice a couple yards away. The trio turned around to see one of the mariachi singers fuming at them. 'Holy hell,' Harry thought, looking the singer up and down.

"Malfoy?" Ron choked out with wide eyes. Malfoy froze, his shoulders sagging, making the shirt even more baggy. The two figures behind Malfoy turned around to reveal Crabbe and Goyle. They just looked at each other and then back at Malfoy waiting for instructions. Harry started laughing and Neville quietly shaking with laughter. The trio shared one bemused look before Ron had fallen to the ground in laughter, Harry was bent over holding his sides, and Neville had a hand to his mouth and the other on a rail to support himself from folding over.

"Sh-shut up," Malfoy stuttered, his silver eyes looking around to see if anyone was staring.

"Malfoy- I had no idea you were so... multi-talented." Ron said regaining his posture.

"Shut up! My father-"

"Is sending you owls from Azkaban telling you to stand on busy French street corners singing ungodly tunes and wearing," Harry looked him up and down and started to chuckle again, "...that. Are you sure your father really loves you?"

"I'll have you know Potter that these shirts attract a lot of women. Real women," he said smugly, folding his arms across his chest.

"And where are these women of yours? Getting the hair shaved off their backs and attending an afternoon lipo?" laughed Ron. Crabbe started to nod seriously before Malfoy elbowed him in the stomach. "Oh we are jealous."

"Piss off this corner!" Malfoy shouted his temper starting to rise.

"Your just mad because people like us more." said Harry also crossing his arms over his chest and lifting his head up. Two could play Malfoy’s little game…

"Haha, please Potter, you don't have half the skill it takes to be a street talent." Malfoy glanced over at some ladies walking up in their luxurious fur coats, "watch and learn." Malfoy strolled up to the poised women and did a series of ballet twirls around then ending exactly in front of them bent in a bow with his arm extended. The crowd applauded the performance and the dark skinned women took Malfoy's offered hand and let him kiss it. Harry and Ron shared a look, grinned and then pushed Neville into the centre of circle.

Neville looked back terrified. "Confidence, Neville," Harry and Ron said together. Neville looked around at the on lookers. They were expecting something from him and growing impatient. One young lady smiled politely at him. Neville cleared his throat and walked up to the woman. "Mademoiselle," he said holding his hand to her.

"Mousier," she took his hand and let him guide her to the centre. A ballroom ballad started playing from somewhere when Neville lead off, swinging the woman in tedious circles, back in forth, in and out, up and down. At the end of the dance he bowed and she curtsied formally. The crowd cheered, with Ron and Harry yelping out their approval.

"Right on of you Neville!"

"That'll teach the twit, Nev!"

Neville merely smiled and thanked the lady with his eyes. She walked back off into the crowd and Neville turned to see a furious Draco Malfoy coming at him. Neville froze, "Listen Longbottom, your pansy ass maybe good at swinging some bitch around on your arm but I will not let you sit here and take over our corner!"

Neville just stood there with his mouth slightly parted. Harry and Ron were waiting on Neville to make a move before stepping in. "Listen to yourself Malfoy, you sound like a hooker in east London protecting her district. You can have it, we're leaving anyway. But I bet there's one dance move you don't know," Neville finished dignity, his eyebrows raised. Ron and Harry shared a muddled look.

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

Neville smiled, "I call this the nut cracker." Neville swung his leg back and rammed it into the centre of Malfoy's tight pants. Malfoy emitted a high pitch scream that made a few members of the audience cover their ears. Once Malfoy had fallen to the ground the crowd again erupted in cheers, throwing various sized coins at Neville.

"Alright Neville!" yelled Harry and Ron coming up to him clapping him on the shoulder. "Ron, I think we're making progress with him!"

"That felt good."

"I don't think poor Drakie is going to be planning on children in his future," commented Ron, looking at Malfoy with his hands gripped on his pants.

"Let's get out of here, people are crossing." Neville told them modestly, pointing at the cross walk.

....

"Okay we are not leaving the station until our train comes in," Ron told them handing Harry the envelope containing three train passes to Crans Sur Mer.

"Crans Sur Mer?" Harry asked, reading the tickets, "where the hell is that?"

"Dunno, we'll only be there for an hour and a half before our next train departs," he said shrugging and sitting down next to Harry on the bench.

Harry stuffed the tickets back in the envelope and placed it in his jacket pocket. "I still wished we could have gotten together with Hermione." Harry said sullenly. Ron just looked at Harry with a questioning look.

"What's up with you and Hermione?"

"What do you mean? She's our best friend, I just would have liked to see her because I know the internship will keep her busy-"

"No I mean- you're Harry Potter." Ron said obviously, holding his hands out.

"Well spotted mate."

"No I mean you're Harry Potter, you could have any girl you wanted. Here we are on this crazy quest to Germany and there are so many amazingly hot women that you could claim as yours with just one look their way; yet you are concerned about meeting up with Hermione."

"She's our best friend!" Harry tried defensively. 'What was Ron on about?'

"You like her don't you?" Ron tantalized, smiling slightly. Harry looked all sorts of confused.

"Of course I like her and I hope you do to- she's our best friend."

"No, you like her, like her," said Ron again smiling, and nodding his head up and down to try and make Harry see it. "Come on Harry! At the graduation party, you were on the rebound and you had countless girls, I'm sure, throw themselves and offer you favours, yet you denied them and hung out with Hermione. We're in Paris, yet you're worried about not being able to see Hermione. She's practically the only girl you ever talk to. Put the pieces together wonder-boy."

"You're delusional. I do not like Hermione like that, and she is not the only girl I talk to." Harry recovered, shaking his head in denial.

"Prove it then," Ron suggested, nudging his head in the direction of a bum. A lone bum bent over at the soda machine across the station. A nice bum in faded blue jeans.

"Fine, I will." Harry got up from his seat and smoothed over his shirt, gaining some confidence. He started walking toward the girl with the nice bum, whose arms had started banging on the machine. Harry snapped his fingers and out came a soda can twirling towards him. He bent down and picked it up, putting on a cool smile as he stood. His smile dropped immediately into a look of shocked recognition.

"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on fiercely. Harry hugged her back, still not believing that this lovely bum turned out to be Hermione. 'I just can't catch a break.' he thought meekly, as Hermione disentangled herself from him.

"Oh my god, Harry, what are you doing here?" she asked smiling at him. All he could do was smile and hand her the soda.

"I figured you needed my soda-fetching abilities." he shrugged trying to put it off like this was his every day job. She laughed. 'Since when did her laugh make my stomach tingle?' Harry looked over to the bench where Ron and Neville who must have just come back from the loo were sitting. Ron's head was in his hands, shaking back and forth and Neville had his head cocked to the side in bewilderment.

"Well you definitely saved the day," Hermione told him referencing to the can. "Hopefully Krammer doesn't fire me on account of the dents."

Harry frowned at her, "Why would he do that?"

"Because he's a right fowl arse who hasn't had a relationship with an actual person let alone a women in more than 40 years." she informed him nodding her head. Harry looked at her concerned before she supplied, "Yeah, he stares a lot."

"Ew," Harry voiced. He couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have some 75 year old dinosaur stare at you while your reading or while your bent over at a soda machine...

"Yep. Really though what are you doing here?"

"Uh, Ron, Leigh, Berlin," he said his eyes turned upward to think of a shorter way.

"Wow that pretty much sums it up for me," she smiled at him. He grinned back at her, staring into her eyes.

"Granger are you done yet? How possibly hard is it to retrieve a drink from a machine, girl?"

"Er, that's my boss," she whispered turning around to meet a considerably aged man wearing a red scarf and tweed jacket. "Sorry Mr. Krammer, sir." she apologized handing him the can, "I ran into my best friend from school, this is Harry Potter."

"I don't care, I want you back to the table and re-reading the Luve papers until it makes you vomit, do you understand girl?" Mr. Krammer slapped the scarf over his neck and turned on his heel.

"I hope he can get around on crunches," Harry said, holding his right hand up, about to throw a bone-breaker curse at his leg.

"Harry," said Hermione, covering his hand in hers, "I appreciate it but you can't go around breaking people's legs when they insult me."

"Worked on Malfoy 6th year," he muttered under his breath.

"Bt this isn't school, this is my work." He looked at her like he was staring through her eyes and into her soul. "Okay if it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about resigning-"

"Really?" Harry asked excitedly. She nodded her head dejectedly. "That’s great! You can come with us to Berlin!" She looked up at him pondering the question. "Come on Hermione," he pleaded taking her other hand in his, "this could be our last summer to spend together before work and the real world. And I want to spend it with my best friend- you. And Ron would definitely want you there when he meets Leigh, the blokes a bloody mess about it. Come on, what do you say?"

She studied his hopeful face, 'Hmm, his eyes get brighter when he's excited.' She smiled, "I say-"

"Ms. Granger!" scolded an intolerant voice. Hermione slowly took her hands from Harry's and turned around to face her boss. "Ms. Granger, I understand that women have a much smaller attention span then men do but when I tell you that papers from the Luve need to be revised, I mean for you to stop your little busy body from flirting with the whole station and read those damned papers, am I clear? I knew I never should have taken on an incapable woman."

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked murderously low.

"Oh no you didn't," Harry said from behind her bobbing his head back and forth. People disrespecting house elves was one thing, but Hermione could not stand it when pompous men underestimated the power of women.

"Ms. Granger, is their a problem?" the old man asked uptightly pretending he had just said nothing wrong.

"Your the problem arse! If it wasn't for you and your prejudice thoughts about women you might actually be able to run a successful business. That whole "most productive research firm" was from when MISS Alexzander was alive and you know it! Your work is based off women. How can you think so low of them when really they do all the work for you?"

"You listen here you mindless tramp-" CRACK

Krammer let out a scream, falling backward on the floor. Something was poking through the side of his pant leg, and a small pool of blood was starting to accumulate around it.

"Well, I guess you can find a man to follow you around and correct your mistakes this summer. I'll be in Berlin." Hermione turned and grabbed the beaming and profoundly proud Harry's hand, guiding him off to find her luggage.

"Okay,” Hermione whispered over her shoulder, “but that's the last leg you break for me."

...

Well that's all for this chapter. Honestly, what's a story without Hermione in it! She's like the necessity. So yes expect some more good things coming from her. Draco was definitely AU in this chapter. It's seriously three in the morning right now, so I don't know what I was thinking now that I look back on that whole mariachi thing. A reviewer had a really interesting idea to put Draco in here and embarrass him and like have things thrown at him; I'm just not sure If I made it funny. I know that I was cracking up thinking about it but then again I haven't slept in three days. Now that I think about it... I'm mental. Ok so that I'm sorry about, please don't let it cloud your judgement of this story too much because it's gonna get a lot better in upcoming chapters! Thanks to all of you who reviewed last chapter, you guys are great and my inspiration to stay positive and keep writing. I wish the best of holidays to all of you!

Happy Christmas

CHEERS

XOXO

P.S- Again I have nothing against the French, it was just part of the movie that I laughed at. Sorry for my sick sense of humour!

7. Silent Bob and Hairy Peaches

Disclaimer: I own nothing remotely related to Harry Potter or Euro-Trip.

Harry Doesn’t Know

Chapter 7: Silent Bob and Hairy Peaches

…

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Neville sat in the plain compartment silently. Neville was looking through his guidebook (something that now Hermione highly disapproved of), Ron was reading over old letters from Leigh, and Harry and Hermione were sitting on their bench both reading the paper provided by the station reporting how frightening hooligans were terrorizing western Pairs. Neville fanned through the book a few times before stopping it on a random page and slightly rocking his head back and forth and started singing under his breath.

"Harry doesn't know that Cho and me do it in my dorm every Sunday, tells him- what?" he asked, glancing up to find everyone staring at him. Harry looked baffled at him. "You gotta admit, its a really catchy tune." Hermione tried to hide her bemused smile. Ron started singing with him, "Tells him she's in class but she doesn't go, still she's on her knees and Harry doesn't know, Harry doesn't know-"

"Buongiorno, and welcome to the Cosa de le Merde, may I offer you a complementary tart?" A tall man with boyishly blonde hair, dazzling white teeth and baby blue eyes opened the door wearing a square top hat and velvet vest. The residents of the compartment stared at the man mouths open, and their song forgotten.

"Mr. Lockhart?" question Hermione, remembering to say 'Mr.' since he had lost his memory second year.

The man flashed the Gryffindors a bright smile, "Hello, hello. Are you an old client?" he asked pompously pushing his chest out.

"Er, no. We're old students," she told him. She looked back at Harry who looked completely dazed.

"Are you now?" he asked ceremoniously, entering the compartment and sliding the door shut behind him.

"Uh, yeah," piped in Ron, "but that was like five years ago so you can-"

"Now, now my dear friends, don't be modest. I always have more to teach," he smiled at them, taking a seat in between Ron and Neville and patting Neville's knee. "They don't call me Silent Bob for nothing, as I'm sure you know. You won't even know what's happening."

"You know-" Ron started but was immediately hushed by Lockhart as he put two fingers over his moving lips.

"You won't sense anything."

"Whatever," Ron said twisting his head away from the man's rose scented fingers. 'Where the hell do you get your fingers coming out like the smell of flowers?' Ron wondered, staring out of the window. 'Oh god, don't answer that.'

The compartment suddenly filled with darkness as the train passed through a tunnel. A few moments later, the tunnel had passed, Hermione had closed the paper, and somehow Lockhart's hand ended up on Neville's thigh. Hermione's mouth fell open as she elbowed Harry in the side enough to grab his attention and point him in her direction. Harry's eyes widened beneath his wired spectacles. Neville was unnoticeable still reading his guide book. Harry cleared his throat rather loudly. Neville looked up at Harry who was tilting his head in a downward motion. Neville sceptically lowered his eyes down to the manicured hand that was planted on his thigh. Neville swallowed and tried moving his leg around desperately, but Lockhart's grip remained firm. In fact he looked like he was getting quite comfy with the squirming Neville.

"Pardon me," Neville finally spoke quietly. Lockhart looked up to meet Neville with dark eyes and a slight grin. Neville nodded his head in the direction of his thigh.

"Oh, mi scusi," he said freeing Neville's thigh and looking around the other occupants of the compartment, " Mi scusi." Harry and Hermione nodded their head accepting Lockhart's foreign apology. Poor Neville. Ron and Neville shared a look over Lockhart as he bent down to pick up Hermione's old paper. Ron turned his head back to the opposite couch and back to Neville. Neville's eyes moved in the same position and back. They both sat back in their seats as Lockhart opened the paper and folded a leg high over his other. Suddenly both Neville and Ron leapt for the small space between Harry and Hermione, pushing and scraping to see who's bum hit bottom first.

"Haha!" shouted Ron triumphantly as he wedged himself tightly between an annoyed Harry and Hermione. Neville just stood there desperately. He looked back at the smiling Lockhart who patted the cushion next to him. An ultimate message for Neville not to sit down but he sat down anyway squishing himself against the wall farthest from Lockhart.

Lockhart only scooted closer, smiled, and continued reading. Neville looked around until he came upon Ron pointing out the window. Another tunnel. Neville looked back to the three across from him with a fearful look. Ron only waved his fingers, then darkness.

Hermione gasped when the compartment was lit up again. Lockhart was crouching behind Neville, his hands on his shoulders and giving him a feverent massage, if you could call it that. His eyes were narrowed and rolled back like he was having a massive orgasm.

"Wha-what the hell are you doing?" Neville was panicked, you could tell. He hurried to readjust his shirt and again scooted away from the man.

"Oh, mi scusi, mi scusi," he again apologized looking around at everyone. He looked at Neville with that same indignant look. He rubbed his thigh, "Mi scusi," he told him almost seductively. They were all in denial with what he was doing. Poor, poor Neville.

"No-no, no, no, no, no." Neville rushed throwing the man's gross and fake tanned hand of his trousers. Neville shook his head violently.

"Uh-oh," said Harry his eyes looking out the window.

"Uh-oh what?" asked Neville looking to where Harry was focused.

"Big tunnel." Harry announced looking at Lockhart who had raised one eyebrow queerly and wore a devilish grin. Neville levelled himself with the window looking out. Too late; darkness.

~cue the intense stripper music~

"Who's touching me? Harry is that you? This isn't funny! Who's touching me?! Harry?! Ron?! Hermione!!"

~end stripper music~

When light filled the compartment again a few moments later, Neville was crushed on top of a scared Harry, Ron, and Hermione, while the mysterious Silent Bob sat across from them, pantless, and taking a drag from a thin cigarette, "Who's first, hmm?"

The compartment door slid opened and out stumbled Lockhart, his pants flying after him. "Not very appreciative students," muttered Lockhart, bending over to retrieve his pants and picking out his zebra print underwear from his... He took a step forward to look through the next door and smiled as he pushed it open, "Buongiorno, and welcome to the Cosa de le Merde, may I offer you a complementary tart?"

....

"Alright, Crans Sur Mer, one of the hickest sodding towns in all of western Europe." said Ron, stepping off the train and setting his bag down. Harry, Hermione, Neville and him were the only people present at the unloading dock. The station itself looked like a wooden shed that had been to hell and back, with signs and posters peeling off the rotting walls. On the opposite sides of the train tracks was heavily wooded forest, dark enough to give Hogwart's a run for its money.

"I think its beautiful," commented Hermione observing the open scenery.

"Yeah, and you also think Hogwarts, A History is worth reading five hundred and nine times," snorted Ron picking up his bag again and heading over to a sturdy looking bench.

"Lay off, Ron." Harry was stretching in the morning's sun while looking around the depot for any signs of human life. "Er, Neville what time do we board the next train."

"Let me check." Neville through his bag down next to Ron's and started pulling up his shirt.

"Easy there Neville, I think we've all had enough sexual exhibits to last quite a while, at least until we get to Berlin," he added with a small smile, snuggling in to his backpack that he was laying on. Neville ceased to pull his shirt back down. He was searching through a small looking fanny pack strapped to his stomach.

"Neville what the hell is that?" asked Hermione tilting her sun glasses down to get a clearer look.

"This," he started unzipping several compartments connected to the bag, " is a Krammer's travel belt. It's truly bullet proof. Krammer says if you have one of these nothing can be misplaced, and no crook can rob you of anything," he finished still searching through it.

"Except your dignity. You must have been dropped on your head as a baby," Harry commented, still looking at the bag like it was an interesting piece of art.

"Well actually, my uncle-"

"Neville, the tickets." inserted Hermione who had pushed her sun glasses back up the bridge of her nose. Neville resumed searching frantically through the pouches, taking out several pieces of paper and flipping through them to see if four tickets were hiding in it.

"I thought it was bullet proof," said Harry crossly, folding his arms next to Hermione.

"Uh-oh." Neville squeaked looking up with a blush staining his cheeks.

"What's uh-oh?" asked Ron sitting up from the bench and looking at Neville.

Neville opened his mouth, his eyes wide, "There's a hole."

"Jesus," breathed Hermione turning around and scratching the top of her head in frustration.

"What happened to bullet proof?" humoured Harry, who was bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking like he was having a jolly good time watching the show.

"This isn't funny Harry, what do you mean there's a hole?" Ron returned to Neville gripping his shoulders.

"There's a rip in the pocket I put the tick-"

"Oh that's just fan-fucking-tastic! How are we supposed to get to Berlin, let alone out of here now? Look around Neville, there's nobody fucking around!" Ron's face had turned beat red as he shouted at his offended and trembling friend.

"Ron this isn't his fault," Hermione reasoned, putting a hand on Ron's upper arm, trying to restrain him from another shouting round.

"Hermione-"

"Herm-own-ninny?" asked a Bulgarian voice coming from inside the abandoned station. Hermione turned to see none other than Viktor Krum step put from the rickety door frame. He had definitely grew since Harry had last battled with him in the Triwizard Tournament, and maybe even had his teeth straightened and whitened. He had lengthened his dark hair about an inch and had styled a small goatee on his prominent chin. Harry immediately narrowed his eyes.

"Herm-own-ninny!" he said again, walking over to her and wrapping his bear arms around her. Hermione returned to hug with equal force, "Viktor, what a surprise! What are you doing here?" Viktor let go of her and gave her a toothy grin.

"My vamily has just bought vis station, ve are here vith some investors now. Vat are you doing here?" he asked in his heavy accent again looking her up and down. So far Harry had tamed the fiery dragon that was emitting fumes in his stomach, 'Bloody prat, don't even acknowledge that she's here with other people. No you just keep your filthy Bulgarian eyes trained on her... bloody prat.'

"Oh, well, we're," she said taking a step back and motioning towards her boys who were just staring at Krum with their arms crossed, "trying to take the train. But you see we've lost our tickets, do you think-"

"Viktor, who is vour loverly friend?" question an unfamiliar voice, similar to Krum's stepping out from the building. It must have been Krum's father by the way he presented himself, he looked like the exact duplicate of Krum, only an inch shorter and with deep greying hair. He wore a regal fur coat ('It's the middle of the bloody summer you wank,' commented Harry, shaking his head at the repulsive man.) he also held a large golden staff, with a dark, blood red ruby, sitting fancily on top. He smiled at Hermione, showing off moulding yellow teeth. Hermione tried to hide her cringe.

"Hermione Granger," she told him trying to take another step back before he bent down and pressed a slimy kiss to the tope of her soft hand.

"Borislav Krum," he said, again nodding his head at her.

"Pleasure," she said trying to cover the sarcasm. She looked back to Harry, Ron, and Neville. Harry still had his arms folded with an annoyed look directed toward the Bulgarians, Ron had stretched back on the bench with an amused smile, and Neville was looking between the other two, not knowing what the hell was going on.

"Vather, vey need help. Vey have vost they're tickets and vey need transport."

"Er, yeah," said Ron leaping off the bench with a hopeful look, "We're trying to get to Berlin, and we lost our tickets you see so do you think you could help us out and let us board the next train?" Krum senior sneered at Ron, looking over his gangly appearance. He finally looked up into Ron's pleading eyes.

"Sure," he drawn out the agreement with a mischievous smile. Ron let out a breath and smiled at the man.

"Thank-"

"Ve'll give you a discount. Ve'll only charge two hundred and thirty levs." His smile widened as he seen Ron waver. Hermione could tell Ron was about to curse the prat into next week. Hermione cleared her throat and gave Ron a threatening look.

"Do you have anywhere where we could convert some money?" Hermione suggested looking the man in the eyes. He smiled again at her, over looking her body. Harry's jaw clenched as he contemplated which leg to brake.

"No, I'm very sorry viss, ve are rejuvenating the station so ve yet to have the complementary assessments. Vou understand, don't vou?" Hermione gave him a forced smile and nodded. Ron let out thwarted breath while Harry cracked his knuckles and flexed his fingers, preparing to channel his magic. Hermione cleared her throat again, this time glancing at Harry. He shrugged, and relaxed his hands.

"Do you know where the closest currency conversion bank is?" Hermione tried looking between Viktor and Mr. Krum. Viktor had yet to speak, his eyes downcast in his father's shadow.

"Oh ves," there was that bloody smile again, "Paris."

"We just-" Ron nearly yelled taking a step forward, Harry close on his tail. Hermione elbowed Ron in the stomach making him struggle for air and shoot her a death glare. Hermione again forced a smile at Mr. Krum, "Well thank you for your time sir, Viktor," she said softly nodding her head in his direction.

"Anytime viss." countered his father, again bending down and kissing her hand before Hermione could respond. 'Ew, herpes,' she thought vaguely, remaining the quivering smile she held. "And per'aps ve shall be seeing each other soon?" he asked winking at his son and stepping back into the building, his fur cape billowing after him. 'Over my bloody body you fucking sod,' Harry's eyes now furrowed in anger staring after ruddy bloke.

"Herm-own-ninny, vou look as bootiful as ever. I only vish there vas something more I could do, but my vather-"

"Oh please Viktor, it was your father's decision, this isn't your fault." she gave him a genuine smile as he picked her up again hugging her like she was a fading memory.

"Viktor!" shouted his father inside the station followed by a long slue of Bulgarian. Viktor turned to face Hermione again giving her a small smile, "Vell, I must be off. It vas good to see vou all," he said finally acknowledging the rest of the group. "I vill be here vor a vew more hours. My office is vight next to va ticket's cashier," he motioned his head to the side somewhere inside the shadowed room. "If there is anything else I can do," he finished the last part rather seductively Harry thought. 'Yeah, you fucking prat, you can hold still while I rearrange the bones in your face.' He let go of Hermione's hand and trailed into the building, the shadows enveloping his image. Hermione turned back to the boys, her cheeks slightly flushed. Harry still looked like he could kill with just one raise of his eyebrows. Ron looked at her dubiously.

"What?" she finally questioned, directing it at Ron with a shrug before Harry answered.

"What the hell was that?" he asked dynamically, flinging a hand in the general direction of the door, making the window crack.

"What was what?" she countered ignoring the simple power he held.

"Him!" he said with a strained face.

Hermione was getting angry with the one syllable answers, "Viktor?"

"He was trying to seduce you," he said flatly. Hermione scoffed and averted her eyes from Harry's.

"Please, Harry, a hug doesn't mean he's trying to get me naked."

"That's pretty much what that hug implied." he said with his eyes raised trying to make her realise fact. Hermione opened her mouth to respond when Ron held up his hands to stop the quarrel.

"Alright stop! Now we have a problem," he said obviously looking at his friends, "and there is only one way to solve this problem... Hermione has to seduce Krum."

"What?!" shouted a frazzled Harry and Hermione looking at Ron in bewilderment. Neville was still looking back and forth between the trio, not knowing what the hell to do.

"Hell no!"

"Ron you're mental if you think I'd do anything of that sort."

"Especially to Krum," finished Harry triumphantly. Hermione shot him another irritated look. Harry shrugged his shoulders and looked back at Ron with an unrelenting determined expression.

"Hermione just here me out." he said walking up to her and holding her arms. "You know I would never, ever, put you in a blind situation like this. It'll all be planned. You'll go in there- do your thing, and if there's any problems we'll be in there before you can say "Whoops I stepped on you fairy wand", which is what we will do if he tries to force anything."

"Did you just refer to Viktor's penis as a fairy wand?" she asked bobbing her head in disgust.

"Look, he said the office he'd be in is right next to the ticket cashier. We'll make some sort of distraction while you're in there preppin' him up and get the ticket lady out so one of us can get in there and print some tickets. It'll be a piece of cake." he finished with an optimistic smile. Harry was in the background showing his dissent by shaking his head vigorously at the idea. Hermione still had an insulted look on her face.

"I'm not a piece of meat Ron!" she answered, imitating Harry and shaking her head. "It's a bad idea."

"It's a horrible idea- to even pretend that she has to like that scum! She wouldn't be able to do it. Viktor would see right through it I'm sure." Harry again had folded his arms across his chest making his muscles show through his thin shirt. 'Ignore it, Hermione', she told herself as she tore her eyes from his bursting pecs and gave Harry the most offended and displeased look she could muster.

"What are you trying to say Harry, that I'm incapable of being likable. That Viktor would see right through the plan because I could never be like that?" she asked in a low innocent voice. Harry wiped the smug look off his face and looked at Hermione.

"That's not-"

"Where do we start Ron?" she asked with such determination in her voice it made Harry want to... 'Ignore it Potter, this is serious.'

...

"Herm-own-ninny? Is something va matter?" Viktor asked puzzled, as Hermione had stepped through his office and shut the door behind her.

"Oh nothing, Viktor. It's just the boys left to go get a bite to eat in town and," she leaned against the bookcase situated on her right, "I didn't want to get lonely." Viktor eyebrows crawled up his face as he gave her a exaggerated smile.

"Aw, vell perhaps I could be of service?" he asked rising from behind his desk.

"Perhaps," said Hermione impishly taking a step forward.

...

"Alright let's make this quick," said Harry following the path in through the door which Hermione had travelled. He had hated this idea, and the fact that Hermione was in there alone with the horn dog made it all the worse.

"Well wait mate, we have to come up with a plan, Ron how're your transfiguration spells?"

"Horrible, why?" he answered, Neville turning to face him.

"Well I don't know, I thought maybe some could conjure a bear or something-"

"Look we don't have time for this! Hermione could be in there right now handcuffed to a pole while Krum had his way with her. Let's just go in there and play it cool with this lady. Have her print up the tickets, grab them and then run or something. Doesn't look like there's much security in there any way," Harry finished leading the way in. Inside the building was much the same appearence of outside. Signs and posters peeling from the walls, paint-chipped counters, and dirty carpet. “Handcuffs, huh Harry?” mocked Neville following Harry.

"Let's really hurry, I don't want to catch gonorrhoea or anything," commented Ron dryly, brushing off a fallen particle of dust that had landed on his shoulder. Harry sighed, again leading the way to a counter that read 'Ticket Cashier'. Behind the desk was a middle aged woman, who seemed to be staring straight ahead, typing furiously on an old fashioned type writer. Laying behind the woman was a large beagle, paws over his nose and wearing a green knitted sweater that said 'Fido' on top. The closer the three approached the higher the dog's ears inched upward, until the dog had finally snooted in recognition that someone was there. The woman stopped typing and gazed up, focusing on nothing imparticular, and looking right over the three boys that had frozen in mid step.

"Who's there Fido?" the woman asked in a high cherubic voice. She didn’t have an accent and spoke perfect English, which made them believe she was American. Her eyes were an electrical blue, almost white in colour, and misty. Neville looked to Harry and Ron and mouthed, 'She's blind.' Ron smiled and rubbed his hands together. The woman seemed to have noticed because she jolted her head in Ron's direction, making Ron suddenly stop and stair back at the woman.

"Is there something I can help you with?" the woman asked in Ron's direction, still not fully recognizing Ron though.

"Um, yes ma'am. We need some tickets. We're trying to get to Berlin." braved Harry fully stepping up to the counter so he was in line with the woman. Ron and Neville followed, there eyes still on the woman's clouded over ones.

"Oh sure," she replied politely, absently grabbing for something on her desk, her hands spilling over various figurines and office supplies, "let me just check when the next train comes in." Her hand finally landed on a thick bounded binder that she dropped in front of her and flipped open, her fingers scanning the pages. Her eyes were still focused forward, but not really looking at anything. Harry looked to Ron who was staring at a jar of liquorish on the counter top. Harry waved his hands in front of his face getting his attention. Ron looked at him confounded and shrugged. Harry nodded over to a gate that lead into the little office area and then to a printer on the other side of the gate. Ron again looked at him perplexed and shrugged shaking his head. Harry sighed. 'Get through that gate so you can grab the tickets when she prints them' he pushed his thought out of his mind and shot it toward Ron. Ron made a sour fish-like expression before turning back to Harry and nodding his head smugly like it was so cool to be doing something this criminal.

...

"Do you like yours hairy, Herms?" Hermione choked on the stale wine that had been offered by Viktor, mainly at the nickname.

"Excuse me?"

Viktor chuckled softly, "Your peaches. Do you like the fuzz on the peaches?"

"Oh, I don't mind really, either or is fine," she took another sip of the musty wine while Viktor handed her a peach, his hand lingering on hers for a moment.

"That's good to know, for future reference," he gave her a shrewd grin before turning around to pour himself another glass.

'Dear God, hurry the hell up Harry'

...

Ron had made it across the gate and into the small office by the printer, all the while snacking on a piece of liquorish. The woman's beagle was giving Ron the most adorable look he had ever seen a dog give. Ron smiled at the dog and bent down to reach it's hand out. The dog leaned into his hand, taking advantage of the Ron's carefree behaviour.

"Okay, your tickets are printing. Your just in time too, the train will be in here in about five, six minutes. You should be able to pick up tickets straight to Berlin from Amsterdam. Your total will be nine hundred and twenty levs even, if you'll just insert it here so it can be counted," finished the woman, pointing to a small metal box. The woman's other hand moved over to what looked like a small calculator machine with rigid little buttons on top and pressed four times.

"That's great, thanks a lot," said Neville with feign enthusiasm. He looked at Harry and shrugged, pulling his shirt up so he could dig out some pounds. Harry shook his head. He knew the box would say if there was a proper amount of money put in or not and he was sure that it wouldn't understand British notes. 'Stall', he mouthed to Neville and looked over to Ron who had bent down and was letting the dog lick his hand eagerly. Harry gave an exasperated sigh, 'Ron the tickets have printed grab them already!' He sent the thought to Ron who turned around moments later and whispered excitedly, "I love this dog!"

"Please do not touch my dog." said the woman, who had turned around in her chair and was giving Ron a spooky transparent look. Ron squirmed and stood up, his hand secretly making for the printed tickets that had slid out of the machine.

"Uh, he was hungry," Ron attempted feebly, grasping the tickets and stuffing them in his back pocket.

"Fido is a specially disciplined seeing eye dog, anything you feed and do with him could spoil his training."

Ron scoffed as he said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to devastate you or the dog," he slipped Fido another piece of the candy. The woman looked furious. Her misty blue eyes were bulging out of her head and her brows furrowed deeply. She raised on arm in front of herself and extended a finger to Ron.

Ron look taken aback, "Oi, that's not very nice you bloody-" He was interrupted by Fido who was giving a deep and low growling from the back of his throat, teeth bare, and the hair on his spine standing on end. Ron gasped and took a step back.

"RON!" Harry pushed into his brain. Ron jumped slightly, alerting Fido of his planned escape. Fido gave a threatening bark, which was enough for Ron to jump over the banister and run across the room, with Fido hot on his trail.

...

"Herm-own-ninny, I've always thought vou had ve most breaf taking chin." said Viktor approaching Hermione from across the room. Hermione was sitting in the chair opposite his desk, her peach left untouched and wine glass empty. 'Not potent enough'

"Chin?" she asked plainly looking around. Viktor had come up in front of her leaving her very little room to slip around him.

"Ves, it is so plush, so exotic, I could stare at vour chin all day." Hermione covered her chin with her hand. Viktor smiled and leaned in.

"Herm-own-ninny," he muttered as his eyes fluttered closed. Hermione screwed her face up in disgust. 'Ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!'

"Err- hey look what's that?" she said trying to muster her best awe stricken voice she could think of as her head was currently craned about three inches past the back of the chair in order to avoid Viktor's breathtaking chin. Viktor turned his head around and gasped out a strangled cry. He crumpled to the ground grasping at his right leg. Hermione peered past Viktor, searching for someone to be there. Harry disillusioned himself from the corner, looking more angry then the day they had brought him to Grimmauld Place beginning of fifth year. Hermione let out a relieved breath.

"'Bout time, did you get the tickets?" she asked calmly getting up from the seat and stepping carelessly over Viktor who was still on the ground staring furiously at Harry.

"Yeah we got 'em." he replied, trying to hide the crack of anger in his voice. 'Nose down, Potter, nothing happened.'

"Okay then, let's get the bloody hell out of here," she said turning back around to face Viktor. "Sorry," she tried, much to Harry's displeasure. "Obliviate," she muttered flinging her hand in his direction. Viktor immediately slumped to the ground out cold, his short term memory gone.

"Should have let the bloody get suffer," Harry muttered as Hermione grabbed his hand and left the office, shutting the door neatly behind her. Hermione stopped abruptly, letting Harry bump into her.

"I think it's time to go!" yelled Ron as he was dashing around the room, trying to hide behind various rotting benches and dead potted plants. Neville had managed to make his way up to the ceiling rafters and was currently hanging from one. A loud shrill whistle interrupted Hermione from her musings.

"Trains here," said Harry unworriedly, making his way out onto the boarding deck where a train was resting. An old man had stepped off the train yelling for tickets. Harry and Hermione made their way to him waiting for Neville to quietly slip from the roof and discretely make his way out. The three stood their for a moment, their eyes focused inside on Ron and Fido, who had not given up on chasing Ron.

Back and forth they went past the door four times before Hermione finally yelled, "Ron, quit lolly gagging around and let's go!" Ron sprinted through the door frame, Fido trailing by a few feet, shoved the four tickets at the conductor and leapt onto the train, rushing into the cabin area. Hermione, Harry, and Neville followed shortly after being approved by the conductor and now calm and quiet Fido.

"Next stop, Amsterdam!"

...

Well there’s chapter 7. Sorry it’s been so long, it hasn’t been the best of holidays, plus homework and other work blah, blah, blah. I hope you liked this chapter. I got the blind lady idea from Road Trip [which is a great American movie you should all check out]. Yes, the tension with Harry and Hermione is there and will be unravelling in later chapters. Next chapter the crew will be having some fun in Amsterdam :]]]

I’ll let your minds wonder on that.

Cheers&Happy Holidays

XOXO

8. The Bad, Bad Rastafarian and The Not Misfortunate Robbery

Disclaimer: I don’t own nothing’.

Harry Doesn’t Know

Chapter 8: The Bad, Bad Rastafarian and the Not Misfortunate Robbery

WARNING: language, Dutch prostitutes, hash brownies, and bad spelling/grammar/fake accents.

…..

Hermione closed her book and let it lay on her lap. She looked around the cabin. Neville and Harry were both sitting on the bench across the cabin, heads lolled back and overhead lights turned off. Harry's head turned slightly so that his cheek was now pressed against the cold window plane. He had his arms folded loosely around his middle, and Hermione’s mind, he looked absolutely adorable. She smiled to herself before Ron's shuffling paper interrupted her. Hermione's attention turned towards her ginger haired best friend seated next to her, overhead light on and eyes wide open. He grinned to himself, seeming to be totally engrossed in thick stack of old parchment. His body shook with silent amusement before turning to the next page.

"Reading some of Leigh's old letters?" Hermione ventured, shifting in her seat to get more comfortable.

"Oh, er... yeah. I was," he answered sheepishly, starting to fold the papers. The compartment went silent for a moment, the only source of sound coming from Neville's pitched breathing. Ron let out another low chuckle, "You know she said I might be the one?"

"Like, the one, one?"

Ron let out a bemused breath before looking into Hermione's eyes, then back down to the pile of letters. "Yeah, she said she had a pretty good feeling about it because the Ignacian acromatulas had hibernated early this year," Hermione raised her eyebrows at Ron, " I don't know, it must be a German thing but, now that I think about it, it's probably one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me."

Hermione slouched back into her seat. This was probably the most heart-felt conversation she had ever had with him, that didn't include quidditch, or Bertie Botts every flavour beans. And honestly, she was proud of him. Ron had the disposure of being a lazy, kind of egotistical, male really. She had always figured that Ron would be a playboy until he was 35. But looking into Ron's eyes now, after he had spilled his heart to her about some women he had never even met, she couldn't help but think he had changed. Hermione laughed softly, making sure not to wake the opposite side of the cabin. Ron gave her a bewildered look before she spoke.

"Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

Ron smiled shyly at her, "I know it's weird, and I'm a pansy-"

"No, no, no Ron, it's anything but weird... it's love."

Ron gave her another shy smile, his eyes finding then end of his trainers rather interesting. "Yeah, I just can't help to think I've mucked this situation up royally." Hermione sighed, shoulders sagging and her body still slouched in the seat. She felt partially responsible for what he did. Sure she didn't make him drink all that fire whiskey the night of graduation, but she did load the ammunition in the gun by telling him about the hole ‘wind chime’ thing and what did she expect Ron to do, not shoot? She was always right, and then how could she be so wrong about this Leigh woman? Ron looked up at her, "I have, haven't I?"

"Ron, you listen to me," she had sat up in her seat and grabbed both of Ron's hands that were twitching and fiddling with the old letters, "Yes, you made a mistake. But what's so great about making mistakes is that you can learn from them, and most importantly you can fix them! And that's what you're doing now, you've dropped your summer internship and bravely jumped into a situation that you don't know the outcome of. What you’re doing is incredibly brave, and it's all for Leigh. When she realizes that..." Hermione blinked. How could she finish that sentence when she didn't know what Leigh would think when Ron showed up at her door? Hell, she didn't even know what the girl looked like! She knew what she wanted her to do when Ron got there, and hell if she didn't give her best friend a second chance with her she vowed to take a leaf out of Harry's book and brake the slag's stupid German leg. "Everything will work out Ron, you deserve this. You deserve to be happy." She let go of Ron's hands and leaned back in her seat confidently. Everything would work out fine.

Hermione paused, watching Harry hug himself tighter around the middle and lean into the window more. ‘I hope I wasn't loud enough to wake him…’

"What about you?" Hermione tore her gaze from Harry to look at Ron. His sea blue eyes were boring into Hermione's searching her face for any kind of response.

"What about me?"

"Don't you deserve some happiness too?"

"What are you talking about, I'm perfectly happy." She didn't know when her eyes had somehow drifted back upon Harry’s peaceful form ('Traitors,') but Ron definitely seemed to notice as he to had looked at Harry, then back to her. "What?" she asked agitated. Ron shrugged his answer. Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes before she forced them to look away from Harry. 'Bloody hell, why can't people just stop hassling me about Harry! First its Ginny, telling me that we're a little too "close" for just a platonic friendship. Too close my arse! Me and Harry have always been close, it's just who we are. Then it's Lavender and Parvati, those slags, trying to say we touch too much. I can't help it if we're always in such close contact, damnit! We are mature young adults, we can handle skin to skin contact for Merlin's sake. Then, it's my mum who's owling me asking me if I'm ever going to bring "my charming boyfriend Harry" home. I don't think mum's first experience with a howler was a splendid one. Even Cho Chang, that mondo slag, had the guts to come up to me and ask exactly what my relationship with Harry was, and why he was always so protective of me. I'll tell you, she's lucky Harry came in when he did because she was very close to receiving the same curse her friend did back in fifth year. I'm not too sure Harry would've really appreciate that much...'

"Earth to Hermione," chanted Ron waving his hands in front of her face. Hermione jerked her head, coming back from her internal musings and looked at Ron.

"Huh?"

"I just thought you might like to know you're about ready to tear your book in two." Hermione looked down to see her knuckles a pearly white, and her fingers having a tenacious hold on her book on magical elements. She let go immediately, allowing her book to drop to the floor. She watched her hands return to their normal colour before Ron turned off his light and curling up in the corner of the compartment, head rested against the window.

"'Night, 'Mione."

"'Night Ron."

.....

'Oh. My. God.'

These three words have been wavering in and out of her brain for as long as she could remember. Her eyes were closed, and all that she was aware of was the soft and then hard, fast and then slow licking, kissing, and massaging that was being bestowed upon her sex. She let out a low moan as something wet played with her clit. She wanted to open her eyes to get a look at her surroundings. That was before something started pumping in and out of her, making her surrender all thoughts of rationality.

She arched her back, "Oh, god... don't stop."

She didn't know where she was. 'Must be in Amsterdam somewh- Oh. My. God!' She curled her toes and gripped at the satin bedding as spasms of pleasure raced through her whole body. She let out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding and tossed her head back roughly against the soft pillow. She was panting, trying to regain stable breaths when she felt hands climbing up her body. She could tell someone had popped their head out from the covers and was now resting on top of her. She released the wad of sheets that were balled up in her hands and moved them to her forehead, still trying to find a regular pattern of breathing. The person on top of her chuckled.

"Need an oxygen tank, do we?"

Oh. My. God.

Hermione peeled one eyelid back.

"H-Harry?"

"Hermione." He grinned at her. The type of grin the makes you want to tackle him on the bed and tie his hands to the bedposts so you can have your way with him. She opened her other eye and just stared at him, mouth agape and shocked expression. He was still grinning, which made all of his features more delectable. Like his extra-messy raven hair, dark emerald orbs showing lust and passion and something else Hermione didn't even want to take a guess at. His scar was hidden by his bangs, but was still a mere pale marking on his soft skin. He had some faint stubble on his face. Hermione reached a hand out to touch his cheek, her thumb running over the stubble. He grasped her hand and kissed her palm, still with that sly little grin of his.

"How- whe- wha-?" Hermione tried, but couldn't make a complete sentence. Her mind was reeling from this being Harry all along and her body still twitching.

Harry gave a low seductive chuckle, "Am I that good?"

"Yes." she answered automatically. 'Traitor.' she thought to herself. Harry's grin grew into a smile as he climbed up higher and positioned himself on the side of Hermione, both his arms pulling her waist closer to him.

"Good, because I'd like to do every day of the year for the rest of our lives." he placed a small kiss on her cheek. “Leap year included.”

"Uh- okay." she gasped out as his hand travelled up to cup her breast. "Do I-"

"You don't have to worry about returning the favour, but if you don't mind, I'd like to start stitching little elf hats and scarves, be an advocate for S.P.E.W, and if it's not too much trouble buy you new books when ever I have the chance. Maybe I'll by bookstore for you?"

Hermione gulped. He was being so sweet and innocent how could she say no? "Uh, okay."

"Great!" he exclaimed, planting a kiss to her lips. He kissed her again, this time a little more forcefully. "Mi bello," he whispered as he kissed his way across her cheek and to her ear. "Mi bello," he dipped his tongue in her ear making Hermione giggle from the tickling feeling.

"Mi bello," said a husky voice. A small hand grabbed the other side of Hermione's face as a rough tongue slid from her neck line to her hair line. Hermione's eyes shot open in a matter of nanoseconds and her head shot to her right were the boyishly blonde hair and baby blue eyes of one Professor Lockhart was sitting quite comfortably, his mouth open and tongue ready to slide out again. Hermione gasped and took a lunge back into Ron, making him grumble in his sleep.

"Lockhart!?!" By now Harry was awake with alert eyes and Neville next to him shaking his head trying to get rid of the sleep. Harry stood up immediately with a menacing glare when he realized what was going on.

Lockhart grinned, letting out a laugh trying to ease the mood, "Mi scusi?"

The steel compartment door slid open, and again out stumbled a pantless Lockhart.

....

"Amsterdam: the drug and sex capital of Europe." Neville said lightly, taking in the surroundings. They had walked some ways from the station, not too overly excited with what they had seen so far (trashed allies, boring buildings, etc.). But then again it was only around 6:30. By the time they had walked from the station to where they were now the sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, people were piling out from what looked like abandoned buildings, and neon lights. Oh, those provocative neon lights.

Ron nudged Hermione in the side, "See, now this is beauty Hermione."

Hermione stood in between Harry and Ron, her backpack held dangling from her right hand. Her amazed eyes shown the reflection from all the lights. "I won't deny that, Ron."

"Damn, I was trying to get a 'you're right' out of you."

Hermione smiled and looked at him playfully, "Never."

Harry cleared his throat. "All right, the train doesn't leave until tomorrow, so where are we going to stay tonight?" The four stayed quiet for a moment, looking between each other. After a moment or two of silence, all eyes settled on Neville.

"Well, guidebook, we'll leave this to you." Harry clapped Neville on the back, making Neville's knees buckle.

"Er, okay, I'll just..." he pulled out his Krammer's and started flipping through the pages.

"Okay now, we don't have all night. Neville, within your possession lies the guidebook, therefore this is up to you." Ron had walked up behind Neville and threw an arm around his shoulder, "See that little bakery there?" He pointed down the street to a sign with glowing red, green, and yellow light saying 'The Ganja Bowl'. Neville nodded his head in understanding, "Right well, meet us there when you're done- I'm positively starved." Ron finished with a clap to Neville's back beginning to walk down the street.

"The Ganja Bowl? Are you joking?" Hermione was shaking her head back and forth, staring after Ron in disbelief.

"You know, Ron- always thinking with his stomach." passed Harry nonchalantly. Hermione gave Harry one of her don't-even-go-there looks. He answered with his award winning puppy eyes before quickly following Ron down the street.

Hermione scoffed and glanced back at Neville. "Men," she turned on her heel, striding to catch up with Harry.

"Um, okay, see you later!" Neville shouted after them. Ron had already entered the cafe, and Harry and Hermione looked to now be in a heated discussion. Neville sagged his shoulders helplessly, turning around to face the rest of the city. "Okay, here goes," pulling out his treasured guidebook, he began walking down the unpaved street looking for any signs of shelter.

....

Ron, Harry, and Hermione stood unmoved inside the entrance to the Ganja Bowl. A haze of scented smoke and neon lit signs were still lighted throughout the bakery, making it seem some what of a relaxed atmosphere. It was half-full, with people that looked more like locals then foreigners. They wore fat multi-coloured beanies covering their long braided and dread locked hair. Their eyes misty and round, all with happy and content smiles.

"How may I help you man?" said a mirthful deep voice from behind them. The three spun around to find a tall dark skinned man with dread locks and one of the trademark red, yellow, and green beanie’s staring back at them. He smiled again, "Hi there."

"Hi. We're lookin' to get something to eat," proclaimed Ron. Hermione scoffed at his forthcoming.

"Ahh, man, you came to zee right place I tell you! Now we is having a special on zee bakery's special brownies."

"That sounds excellent right now," said Ron rubbing his belly.

"Uh, Ron-" tried Hermione, before being interrupted by the all too cheerful waiter.

"A good choice sir, right zis way," smiled the man, taking a handful of his pants and pulling them up to his chest before having them slowly slide back down again and taking the lead off into a secluded corner of the bakery.

"May I ask where y'all's is from?" asked the man over his shoulder.

"England," Hermione told him, not expecting Ron to get his mind around the close aroma of food to properly answer him. As soon as she spook the man stopped abruptly and turned to face her. He grabbed her hand and with his round red eyes looked unblinkingly into hers.

"I'm sorry." By the tone of his voice the trio could tell he had meant it. The three looked flabbergasted between themselves before continuing after the man and sliding into the booth he had stopped at.

...

Neville turned a street corner, his nose still embedded in the guidebook, no luck finding an up and open hotel so far. He had a run in with what Krammer's referred to as 'The best youth hostel in Amsterdam', but something had told him the rest of the group wouldn't be as susceptible to 'The Kinky Shoe' like others were.

...

Neville stopped outside of the door to The Kinky Shoe, the best youth hostel in Amsterdam. So far all looked good, and clean most importantly. The door wasn’t' hanging off it's hinges, the sign wasn't flashing in and out of light, no trails of hung-over people's vomit on the cement steps, etc.

"Well here goes," muttered Neville, closing the book and opening the door. With a small chime the door opened and emitted Neville into the small reception room. Light mews filtered through the room, and looking around he realised about twenty cats frolicking, playing, hissing, and doing their cat business right on the rug, two chairs and desk that filled the area. Signs and posters were hanging stationary from the walls, giving the motel a suitable appearance. Even if one of the sings was a lighted stick figure taking a piss on the word 'Abstinence'. Neville gasped innocently before taking another brave step farther into the room, making sure to carefully step over the two cats that looked dead out of breath, panting furiously. Neville approached the counter, waved his hand skilfully through to cats that were giving each other death glares, and chimed the small attendant bell sitting next to a brochure of the best sex clubs near by.

"Hello," enthusiastically replied a plump woman springing from behind the counter. The woman looked as if she was wearing all the colours of the rainbow, with a red bra peaking through an orange halter underneath a yellow poncho and finally a light green jacket on top. Fake metallic blonde and bright pink braids sat on top of her balding blonde head. She had a cheerful sweet accented voice, the type of voice that sounded like it had been through years of voice training to get rid of the masculinity. Neville gulped. "And welcome to Amsterdam’s finest, and most luxurious youth hoshtel." Neville noticed how she wiggled her eyebrows when she spoke 'luxurious'. "We feature one medium shized room, containing seventy beds, which can shleep up to 375 bodies a night." Neville’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped in shock. The woman smiled as she continued, " There is no bathroom, nor is there one near by." Neville looked dumbstruck when he realised she was completely serious, "If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I shuggest deshtroying them or dishcarding them right now," she nodded her head up and down as the last two words. Neville gulped again. "You can also try hiding your valuables... in your anus." A cat in the background meowed violently. Neville's eyes were bulging, his mouth still parted. "This will deter some but not all thieves. Once your inshide, the doors are chained and locked from the outshide. They will not be opened again until morning no matter what." Neville jerked his head to the only other door in the room. Sure enough, four locks lined their way down the door. Neville slowly turned his head back. "Should a fwire o-ccur, due to the faulty vwiring or the fire-works factory upshtairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden, in your anus." The woman gave a cocky smile with one wiry eyebrow raised, like she had just given a bloody declaration of independence. Neville, once again gulped, for lack of better communication. "Tips," she exclaimed with hands raised and showing of her few yellow teeth, "are greatly appreciated!"

The next thing Neville remembered was sprinting out of the hostel and running as fast as he could down the street, distancing himself from the woman's adam's apple and the lingering smell of cats.

....

"Oof!" Neville reached his hands out to balance himself. He grabbed hold of the waist of one very annoyed looking woman. The woman was a skinny as a rail, with a short minny skirt that would give Cho a run for her money and a small transparent belly shirt. She wore a black satin bra underneath the makeshift shirt, that Neville had found his face barried into.

"Ahem," the woman cleared her throat irritated. Neville tore his face away from her bosom, and forced himself to look into the woman's sharp pale eyes. The girl had a pointed face, much like the features of Draco Malfoy. She wore a great deal of make up, bright red lipstick along with curly black eyelashes and light blue eye shadow. Not looking very closely you could see a dark mole on her upper left lip. Neville straightened himself out, the woman looking him up and down and then smiling at him.

"'Ou are an American?" she asked struggling with her English.

Neville fidgeted, "Er, no- I-I'm from England."

"Ja! Amerikaan!" said the woman gesturing wildly. She now wore a huge smile, revealing dazzling white, short teeth.

Neville stuttered and began moving his weight back and forth on his feet, "Erm, alright."

"'Ou looking for za place to schay, ja?"

"Oh, yes, yes I'm looking for a place to stay. And I have some friends as well-"

The woman giggled seductively, "Don't vwe all?" She took a step towards him and sent one long finger with a five inch finger nail glued to it rubbing down his sternum. Neville could only fidget in his spot, letting out a small laugh as the woman still stared intently at him. "I know of a grrreat hostel, that should be... eh, very, accommodating for 'ou." She again smiled, giving Neville a full view of her pierced tongue.

"Zi am Natasha," said the woman, her hand still on his chest. Neville coughed nervously.

"Er, okay. I'm Neville. Lead the way," he gestured a hand in both directions. The girl violently grabbed at his right arm, and started tugging him down the neon lit street.

....

"Here you goes man," said the man coming back with a platter of dark brownie squares. Hermione was squished in between Ron and Harry who were staring at the food.

"Ah, thank you good sir!" said Ron automatically grabbing for one as soon as the plate was set on the table. Hermione nudged him in the side as Ron laughed at him.

"Where are you manors, Ronald?"

"What, I said ffank foo," he replied, not even finishing his sentence before stuffing a large square in his mouth. He chomped at the brownie twice before swallowing the remains. As the food made way down his esophagus he raised his eyebrows. "Whoa," he looked over at Hermione and Harry who were staring intently at him, looking for a culinary report whether to take a bite themselves, "scrumptious." He finished, eyes roaming back over the food and taking another mouthful.

Harry laughed at him, lifting his hand to grab one for himself. Hermione gave him an unpleased look as he raised it to his lips. He waggled his eyebrows at her and defiantly bit into it. He too was shocked by the everlasting chewy great taste.

"Man, it's wike a foufull of feaven!" Ron was still astounded, working on his fifth square. Just as he swallowed and Harry grabbed for his second, he looked over at Hermione, who sat unphased by the treats. "C'mon Hermione try one!" He shoved the plate in her direction. Hermione only pushed back against the booth, as if the plate contained anthrax or something.

"I think I'll pass, Ron."

"Hermione, will you stop worrying about eating a chunk of sugar and saturated fat and all things unholy and just take a bite, we're on vacation for Merlin's sake!" Hermione sighed, watching Harry neatly take another half of a brownie. 'At least he's not devouring them like an animal... like someone else I know...' She cautiously glanced at Ron who successfully succeeded in stuffing twelve squares in his mouth, perhaps a restaurant record.

"Fwaitor! Fwe are g'na need a'other forder!" Once Ron finished, he again looked expectantly at Hermione. After a couple seconds of a staring contest, neither one blinking and amazedly Ron not eating, Hermione sighed and Ron grinned his infamous Cheshire grin. Hermione looked to Harry for support, but unsurprisingly he was giving her the same look.

"See here Hermione, if you don't get off your high horse and willingly take a bite of a brownie," as if on que the man showed up, baggy pants and all, setting the brownies on top of the old plate, "Harry here will tranquilize you and force it down your throat." Hermione crinkled her eyebrow and looked sceptically at Ron. Ron nodded confidently then looked over at Harry and snorted, making both of them wail in laughter. Hermione scoffed and shook her head.

"Men," she reached her hand and snatched the top most brownie and hesitantly took a small bite. She chewed it slowly, as if it were poison before swallowing and gasping out loud, " Jesus this is delicious." Harry and Ron both roared in laughter, each taking two more and quickly placing it inside their mouths. Hermione had already finished hers and was grabbing for another.

"Fee! Fee 'Erminee! I fas fwright! Der date fwright?!" Ron was talking rather loudly, his head nodding up and down and fingers splayed out on the table. Hermione shook her head defiantly and looked at Harry smiling.

"No, Ron. I said they were delicious, you said they were scrumptious. Those aren't the same word," the last part was finished in a giggle as Harry let his head drop loudly to the table shaking with laughter.

....

"Um, Natasha, are you sure you know where this place is?" Neville managed out as the woman who had him gripped by his arm was continuing to drag him down a never-ending dark ally.

"Ja, ja! Ve ares only takings ze scwhortcut," she answered not looking back at him but continuing forward. 'Jeesh, who would expect such force from such a petite lady." Before Neville could have another thought he was being jerked sharply around a corner, making him stumble into another woman. The woman in which he ran into stiffened, but held out her hands to catch Neville. This time it wasn't as embarrassing, at least his face wasn't pressed against her breasts, but his left hand sure the hell was. Natasha scoffed, clearly irritated at the woman. Neville glanced in her direction and saw her with a pouty expression and a puffed out bottom lip, giving him an image of what Malfoy might have looked like when he was three and got the stuffed dragon instead of the stuffed pony at Christmas.

"Er, Neville, would you mind removing your hand?" Neville gasped and looked into the face of the woman who had spoken to him in such a familiar voice, a slight French twist but covered up with years of practiced English.

"Gabby!'" he practically shouted making Fluer Delacour's younger sister jerk back from the volume.

"Neville," she answered, glancing down at the hand that was still firmly pressed against her.

He immediately took his hand of her with a small 'oh' and a hurried apology. She laughed it off, glancing at the fuming Natasha behind her, "So Neville, what are you doing here?" She had finished looking Natasha up and down before turning to Neville expectedly.

"Hermione, Harry, Ron, and I, long story, but basically Ron fell in love, needs to get to Berlin, we're just along for the fun."

"Oh, well that about sums it up, eh?" Gabrielle and Neville shared a laugh before Gabby took another glance at Natasha, "Some fun you must be having?"

"Oh her, she is just showing me to a hotel were we can crash at for tonight," Neville smiled at her. It had been a few months since they had owled, Neville so busy with his NEWTS and Gabby a new exchange student at the new Mt. Olympus in Greece. He remembered how he almost hyperventilated he was so scared to ask her to Bill and Fluer's wedding a year ago. He almost decided not to when she came up to him the night before and asked him to escort her. He answered yes immediately, and a little loudly, making some of the garden gnomes at the burrow stir up. She giggled at his giddiness and gave him a lingering kiss on the cheek before departing. Neville didn't sleep much that night.

"Er, Nev, your in Amsterdam, the drug and sex capital of Europe, I don't think you're going to find a place to sleep tonight."

By now Natasha had had it up to here with this goody goody whore. "If vou don't vind, ve were going somevher." Neville tore his gaze from Gabby's lovely face, her soft baby blue eyes, and delicate angel blonde hair, to give an annoyed look at the pointed and pale, dull eyed and burned frizzed hair that was Natasha.

"Actually I do mind," answered Gabby for him, "he's not interested in your services, thanks." Neville gave Gabby a confused look, but she continued to smile at Natasha.

Natasha let out a loud screech, her long finger nailed hands curling into fists, still staring into Gabby's calm eyes with her dark and now flaming ones. "What do vou know vou French whore! I'm sick of vou slag's coming to our city and taking all ov our clients!"

"Hey, let's just be a little civil, shall we?" interceded Neville, finally finding his voice.

"Neville, she's a prostitute. She wasn't taking you to a hostel but to her pimp's notorious sex club, where she would have gassed you and turned your genitals into a wind chime." Neville's face burned slightly red when he heard he was about to be taken to a sex club, where women just openly flaunt their sexuality. 'Hell this is Amsterdam, I'm sure they all flaunt their sexuality on public benches. Hell the cats weren't even afraid to show it off...'

"Wait I thought that was only-"

"German women aren‘t the only kind." Neville looked fearfully at the prostitute who was now giving a him a horrendously big grin.

"Ah, but I 'ave been vound out. Well, since you shall not be paying vor my schervices you vill be paying vor my company vand time." Both Neville and Gabby glanced at each other, utterly confused, and slightly worried of what the tramp might do. Neville felt a slight tug at his lower abdomen but passed it off as nothing.

A few seconds passed of them waiting on the whore before her smile grew impossibly wider, taking out a large looking fanny pack from behind her back. Neville's hands immediately went to his stomach to find the padding of his travel belt missing.

"My currency colossomy bag!" Natasha cackled before turning on her heel and disapparating, which left Neville sputtering, running forward to where she had disappeared and turning in circles to see if it was a joke, ready for her to pop out of a dumpster and yell 'Boo!'.

"What! She was a witch?!" Neville shouted to air, not caring to lower his voice for passer-by’s.

Gabby hadn't moved from her position, was instead looking at Neville and shaking her head, "I thought I recognized her from Beauxbatons. Crack didn‘t really do her loads of good."

"Do you think we should go to those sex clubs looking for her? I mean I had all of our stuff in there. Man, Ron is going to kill me," he was squatting now, his fingers entangled in his hair.

"Nev, you're cute when you're worried." commented Gabby smiling. Neville glanced up at her clearly giving her a your-not-helping look.

"Oh, what Nev? There's probably a hundred sex clubs in this city, half of them not available to the public eye. That's why you have street prostitutes like her to lead you to them." Gabby was looking quite amused at his misfortune.

"I'm screwed."

"Come on, let's go get something to eat. You haven't even asked me what I've been up to, geesh," Neville looked up at her unbelievingly. She still smiled down at him, "Okay, I'll buy." He let a small laughed escape his lips before grabbing her hand and walking up the empty street.

....

Five minutes and eight plates of brownies later (and also three attempts from Ron to shove his wand up his nose) found Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the same booth at The Ganja Bowl, Hermione sprawled between the two boys, her feet over Ron's shoulder and her head laying against Harry's chest. Sometime during the eating-fest Harry misplaced his glasses. 'Or perhaps they had broken and fallen off from me banging my head against the table so many times.' The thought made Hart start up a fit of laughter again, ending in small manly giggles. Harry laughing, lead to Hermione giggling and wiggling in her spot, which lead to Ron shaking in his seat with a hand pinched over his face.

"What's- so... funny?" gasped out Hermione before beginning to giggle again.

"I don't- I don't know!" Harry let his head fall to the table again, making the pile of plates rattle, which made Ron shake harder and harder. Suddenly Harry stopped, along with the rest of the table went quiet.

"I'm going to buy a Harley when we get back." Harry stated matter-of-factly, looking at Hermione and Ron with a determined look on his face. Ron split apart his fingers so he could see with one of his eyes to look at Harry.

"What's a Harley?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to buy one."

"Did you know if a horse throws up, it'll die?" asked Hermione placing a small hand on her forehead, still smiling what Harry thought to be a stunning smile.

"I've got the munchies!" shouted Ron to the restaurant, ignoring Hermione's random fact. Ron got up, leaving Hermione's two long, slim, cream coloured, 'Stop it Potter,', legs dangling in air. He ran over to the nearest display of food, which happened to be a young group of Swiss girls, took their side of fries and sprinted back to the table, stuffing his face with the fries as soon as his bum touched the apoulstry.

Harry slammed his hand on the table making Hermione jump and start giggling again, "Fuck buying a Harley when we get back, let's buy one now!" Ron laughed at him, fries spilling out of his mouth.

"You know I read somewhere that Bruce Lee was Hong Kong's 'cha cha' dance champion in 1958. Isn't that amazing for a man with such small feet?"

"Does anyone know where the nearest dealership is?-"

"Damn, it is so hot in here!" yelled Ron, cutting Harry off. He jumped onto the booth's seat and took his shirt of, rubbing his arms, forgetting about the half plate of fries that he still had left.

"'Ey mans, is it time for zum more of ze special brownies?" asked the waiter wobbling up to them, now with a long pipe in his mouth.

"NO! No way! You! You gave us a bad batch of brownies! You are a bad, bad Rastafarian. God, it's so cold in here! Do you mind turning on a heater?!" Ron started turning in his place, looking for someone to do something about the temperature, whether he wanted it hotter or colder, he must not have been able to decide.

"Excuse me Mr.-" Hermione had now sat up in her seat, but was still leaning against Harry. She was giving the waiter her most puzzled look she could manage. He figured she was having trouble pronouncing his name, the state she was in. He smiled to himself.

"Rasta..." 'Hopefully that triggered something in her brain' thought the waiter, taking a puff on his pipe.

"Mr. Rasta..." No such luck. Hermione now had both eyebrows successfully crinkled in confusion.

"-far-"

"Rasta-far..."

"-ian."

"Rasta-far-i-... Mr. Rastafarian. Have you ever wondered why dinosaurs weren't like...yellow! Or neon blue?! Personally- I think those archae-voodoowoodoo- whatever people, are full...of... shit!" She nodded confidently, looking around the restaurant. Many people were staring at Ron, who was well on his way of becoming starkers on top of a table a couple rows down. "Yeah, you Amsterdam-ianers... whatever... you people like the neons don't you? Mhmm, mhmm I can tell."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND A FUCKIN' HARLEY AROUND HERE?!"

....

Neville and Gabby left the small cafe together, still holding hands and laughing at something funny Neville said. Imagine that, Neville said something funny. Gabby was beaming at Neville as she walked side-on-side with him. They wondered around for a while, walking through the more proper parts of Amsterdam, sharing secrets, talking about school and old memories and experiences. After about thirty minutes Gabby stopped at the entrance of a wooded path leading farther down through a abandoned park.

"Well, this is where I apparate back." Gabby was participating in a summer school camp, a program for the students in the exchange program. The rest of her group were staying in the ocean side town of Rotterdam, Holland.

Neville put on his saddest look, "Er… I-I thought you didn't have to be back for another hour?" He didn’t care that he was really just robbed of all his valuables under an hour ago, he didn’t want her to go.

She squeezed his hand and turned to face him. She was so close Neville could feel her soft, warm breath hitting the base of his neck. He was a year and a half older with a couple inches on her 5'5, which gave him the perfect position to gaze into her eyes without getting a pain in his neck.

"I don't. You know," she said barely a whisper, looking up into his eyes, " if you wanted to kiss me right now, I'd probably let you." She let a small laugh at the look on his face, "Not that you're being particularly charming or anything," she added sarcastically.

"My gran told me your not supposed to kiss the girl on the first date. Something about proper manors and being a gentleman or what not," he licked his lips nervously, smiling down at her.

"I think we're way passed that now," she grabbed the back of Neville's neck and pressed her lips forcefully against his.

….

WOOHOO Chapter 8 out!

Sorry it's taken so long, I won't even start with the excuses because there would be too many (sadly I don't think I can say my dog ran of with the final copy...) But anyway it's here and good to go. I have found time inbetween reading two amazing fics (Sun-Kissed Daisies by H/Hr Love & Finding Father by Ancient Werewolf... you should go check 'em out) to write a brand new chapter and then some.

Ok, I’d like to say, no Hermione didn’t get oral from that fruit Lockhart, nothing exceeded heavy licking :]]

YES- Harry, Hermione, and Ron ate HASH brownies! They WERE high! Now I’m pretty positive JKR is going to hunt me down and tazer me until I wet myself for doing that but hey… everyone experiences it, right? [But I really am sorry if it does offend some of you, but hey, your reading a fic based off of Euro Trip… wachoo expect?!]

& YES- Neville and Gabrielle get it on!!! In this fic she is only a year younger because I didn’t want to make it Ginny because then I’d be pressured to add her in as a main character and I don’t want to do that and also I didn’t want it to be just some random person off the street because personally I think Neville would get scared of the girl and run for the hills… so yeah this makes it easier.

Also, those of you looking forward to the H/HR goodness, it doesn’t happen until the end! Yeah, I’ve made my decision and they are going to go through a lot of sexual tension to build up to the awesome, mind blowing sex they have at the end. If you don’t think you can wait- wait for it to be completed then read this.

Err… I can’t think of much else to say… so yeah peace hoommmies [:

-OLIV-

Wait, wait, wait, I remember something… my bad if the part when Neville get’s robbed seems stupid or not funny but I don’t know- it happened the way it happened and I’m much to lazy right now to go back and change the second half of this chapter… so sorry!

A'ight-peace

-OLIVER

please review if it's not to much trouble. i always respond and really like to hear what you guys have to say :D

9. Half Naked Bargaining and Eastern Europe

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Harry Doesn’t Know

Chapter 9: Half Naked Bargaining and Eastern Europe

…

Ron snorted in his sleep, grabbing for an invisible object making him twist off the small bench.

"No! Booby! Booby the seahorse... Booby's my seahorse... oh Booby...Booby..."

"Ron! Trust me Booby's fine, Merlin," muttered Harry still lying on top of the bench, glasses hanging from one ear and button up shirt wrapped around his head like a turban. He twisted in his seat, finding it more comfortable to be behind Hermione with a now hair free arm draped over her side. She sighed and leaned into his back more, her eyes still inattentively closed.

"Oh Booby, your okay, okay, I'll grab you Booby," Ron still was lying spread eagle on the concrete pavement of the sidewalk, a nice thick track of drool hanging from his mouth.

"Someone, shut him up," rasped Hermione moodily, snatching at Harry's arm to bring it tighter around herself as if it was a warm blanket. "Dang Harry, you're warmer with hair." Harry smiled into the back of her head while scrunching his face together, concentrating very hard, well as hard as to be expected after a night like last night. Hermione giggled to herself, "Harry's not quite so hairy any more."

"Viola," said Harry, shoving his arm in her face. Hermione laughed lightly before gathering the strength to lift her own arm again and pull his back so she could see the tiny green hairs that had sprouted all over Harry's fore arm. She giggled again.

"Oh all better now- Harry's a bloody leprechaun," she whispered, her eyes starting to drift back close again.

"Ha, ha," Harry gave a fake sarcastic laugh and poked Hermione in the side, making her jerk and rub her bum up against Harry Jr.

He gave out a small loan, quickly passing it off like he was clearing his throat, "Er, I'll fix it later when I find my wand-"

He was interrupted by Ron gasping from the ground, "What?! You want me to pinch you Booby?"

Hermione groaned, "Mmmm, we should probably wake him up."

"No, him and Booby are fine how they are," he tried, pulling her closer, making Harry Jr. happy and making all the little Harry blood cells start rushing to his lower-mid region.

Hermione's eye lids shot open as she felt Harry begin to get tighter against her. She automatically sat up in her seat, not caring that during the time her feet had flown to meet the ground the had collided with Ron's head, making him shout out in pain. Harry was slowly starting to straighten, releasing his shirt-turban from his head and realigning his glasses. He started combing a hand through the back of his head, giving Ron an irked look with his eyes narrowed.

Ron however, still wasn't fully awake, yet he was now curled up in a ball on the pavement, rocking back in forth, chanting something under his breath.

"Booby, I can't, I have a girlf-"

"RON!" Hermione was now thoroughly agitated with Ron and began prodding his back sharply with her feet. Harry was moving behind her, grabbing for his back pack to find his wand. Hermione could hear him whisper 'Salsaugeo' and then another charm she recognized as the chilling charm.

"Who be who?" slurred Ron half pushing himself up from the ground. Hermione just gave him a dirty look and glanced back at Harry who was trying to conceal laughter and return his shirt to his body again.

Ron now was standing up right, wavering a little as he tried to massage his back from where Hermione had so kindly awoken him. "Man, I just had the weirdest dream."

"We know, by the way thanks for commentating on it for us." said Harry, Ron eyeing between his two best friends suspiciously.

"Oh, no prob. Where's Neville?"

Hermione scratched her forehead and started glancing around, "That's a good question."

"Oh my god," breathed Harry, looking down the street. Hermione and Ron followed his gaze and found a man with an opened button down shirt hanging limply from his shoulders, untied shoes, and bagging shorts striding towards them with a huge grin plastered on his face and a sweet tune being whistled from his lips.

Ron took a look back at the other two, making sure they all where seeing what he was seeing before turning back the bloke that had stopped in front of the group and was stretching his arms wide without a care in the world.

"Neville?" asked Hermione, just as shocked as Ron and Harry.

"Hey guys." he said giving all of them a bright smile.

"What the bloody hell happened to you?" asked Ron looking at him from bottom to top, taking in his very un-Neville like appearance.

"I got robbed!" he said enthusiastically at the trio. Letting out a small laugh and clapping his hands together he added, "It was awesome!"

He watched as all three of his friends surprised faces turned to those of unhappy shock.

...

"I can' believed this!" shouted Ron for what must have been the three thousandth time. Currently all four where walking, laden with luggage, down the abandoned intrastate. Ron stopped walking and turned around to rant some more at Neville. Harry and Hermione set down there backpacks and took a deep breathe preparing themselves for another earful.

"All our money, passports, tickets! Everything- gone!" Neville shuffled shyly in his spot while Hermione started to signal the few cars that would pass with the traditional thumb out. No one stopped.

"Well, whatever he says Neville, I'm proud of you." said Harry giving him a cheeky grin. Neville quirked his eyebrow, his radiant smile starting to lurch back on his face.

"Don't encourage him!" screamed Ron.

"Oh come on you bloody wanker!" yelled Hermione jumping up and down, her thumb still in the air, as another van seized to stop and continued on there way. Harry chuckled at her as she continued to mutter profanities under her breath.

"Hermione, we're on an intrastate outside of Amsterdam, they're not going to stop just because you have your thumb up. You have to show them something they haven't seen before," told Harry smiling playfully at her.

Hermione frowned in concentration, looking between the boys, "Well what do you suggest I do?"

"Just to clue you in Hermione, they have naked lesbians advertising orange juice here. Your going to have to do something that'll knock their socks off." joined in Ron, giving her a wink.

Hermione turned back to the road with a frown, her eyebrows still crinkled. "Wait, why do I have to be the one to do it? Harry you do it!"

"Come on, I'm sure these people would much rather see you topless than me." Harry countered folding his arms over his chest.

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure Harry, I seen a few blokes giving you the look yesterday," added Neville wiggling his eyebrows at Harry, who's mouth was now hanging open slightly. He turned to Hermione who was giving him an innocent half-smile.

"I'm not going out there alone, Harry." she said, she too crossing her arms over her chest. Harry quirked an eyebrow at her and looked back at Ron and Neville, Ron who were rolling his eyes at the both of them and Neville who was turning red from conversation. 'Naked lesbians and orange juice commercials... oh dear...'

"Fine," said Harry holding his hands up in defeat, "I'll take one for the team. But you two have to turn around now, I think I see a truck coming." he said pointing behind him.

"My pleasure," scoffed Ron who turned around without hesitation. Neville went even redder with Harry's statement.

Hermione looked past Harry's shoulder and sure enough a gray van was traveling down the road, heading their way. She glanced back at Harry who wore a small grin and was looking every which way except for her. "Alright then," she said, making Harry move his eyes to her.

"Alright then," he repeated.

She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him, "Well what are you waiting for, turn around and start stripping."

"You too!" he countered giving her the same expression.

"I will Harry, just don't look back at me, I don't want you peeking at my goodies. They're only for the driver's eyes," she told him playfully.

"Fine," he said obliging to turn around and start to pull his shirt up. "But that goes for you too. Even though you're going to have a delicious bum in front of your face that still doesn't mean you can stare. You have a job to do." He finally pulled his shirt all the way off, throwing it to the side. He pushed his glasses back up his nose before starting to unzip his pants.

"Whatever you say," said Hermione quietly, her mouth falling apart slightly as she watched the muscles in Harry's back work with his arms as he pushed his trousers to the floor. Hermione shook her head slightly, 'Deep breaths Hermione, deep breaths...'

"Hey are you working back there?" asked Harry in an amused tone.

"Of course," replied Hermione standing perfectly still, watching intently as he stepped out of his pants and kicked them to the side with his two strong tan legs. She watched as his calves flexed when he put his weight on them. 'Another deep breath.'

"I think the truck's at the bottom of this hill!" Harry said back to her, his thumbs sliding underneath the band of his maroon briefs. 'He wears briefs!' she mused to herself still not taking her eyes off him. Her mouth was now more then partially open, and her eyebrows were crawling up her forehead as she waited with berated breaths for him to take the barrier between his bum and her line of sight off.

HONK HONK!

She flinched as she heard the loud noise. Harry started waving his hands over his head at the gray van that was slowing down for them.

He let out a bark of laughter as the van stopped in front of him and the man started rolling down his window, "Look, Hermione! It worked!"

"Well you look at that," said Hermione cheekily walking past him. Harry's smile vanished immediately as his jaw dropped when he noticed Hermione still completely clothed. Harry's mouth was bobbing up in down, still in shock at her as she continued, "It did work! I'm proud of you my little Chippendales." She gave him a Cheshire grin as she picked up his pants and handed them to him.

"Ah," Harry uttered, his face now twisting, still trying to form coherent words.

"Can we turn around yet?!" yelled Ron from the side who had both his hands slapped over his face as if he was a six year old and had just witnessed his parents public display of affection.

"Yeah!" responded Hermione, still standing in front of Harry with a grin gracing her features.

"You..." Harry replied still staring at her in disbelief straight in the eye.

"Me." Hermione shrugged happily, leaving Harry to put the rest of his clothes on.

She joined Ron and Neville (who was busy flipping through his guide book) at the passenger's side of the car, listening to the man give long rapid greeting in German (various times pointing in the direction of Harry and winking).

Ron and Hermione both gave each other confused looks and then looked to Neville.

Neville looked up at them, "Oh don't worry... my uncle spent two years in Leipzig, and when he came back I picked up on a little of the language."

"Anything we can use?" asked Hermione, glancing back at the driver who was still speaking.

"Well I think he was kinda drunk when he was telling me...but I'm fairly confident." said Neville shrugging, waiting for the opportunity to speak.

“Bloody hell,” sighed Ron, backing away to start pacing in front of the car.

After another minute the driver stopped talking and Harry had come to stand next to Hermione.

“Hermione, does anyone understand what he’s saying?” Harry whispered to Hermione.

“Oh don’t worry, Neville speaks bad German. We’ll be fine.”

“Alright here goes,” muttered Neville more to himself as he looked the driver in the eye, “Hello!”

The driver let out a laugh, “Hello!” he replied waving at him. Neville smiled and looked back at Hermione who gave him the thumbs up.

“Um, Mein Deutsch ist krank, aber ich kann auf dir verstehen, wenn das Sprechen langsam ist.”<My German is ill, but I can understand on you if the speaking is slowly.>, stuttered Neville giving him a bashful nod.

“Groß! Ich bin vierzehn Stunden lang gerade gefahren und ich habe nicht an drei Tagen geschlafen! Im Augenblick werde ich auf Alkohol, Benzedrine und jenen wenigen Schokolade bedeckten Erdnüssen verdrahtet, die mich wecken. Ist er für Verkauf?”<Great! I have been driving for fourteen hours straight and I haven't slept in three days! Right now, I'm wired on liquor, Benzedrine, and those little chocolate covered peanuts, which arouse me. Is he for sale?>, he finished giving a wink to Harry who took a step back. Neville stood there looking at him, his mouth agape.

“What’d he say?” asked Ron, breaking him out of his stupor.

He turned around to the group and gestured with his hands, “He said he’s driving… or something.” Hermione smiled looking between Ron and Harry who became more interested.

The driver looked at the group and chuckled, “Jah.”

Neville cleared his throat, “Weißt du, wo Berlin ist?”<Do you know where is Berlin?>.

The driver smiled, “Berlin?” he asked enthusiastically. “Berlin! Ja kenne ich es gut. Ich erstach eine fette Frau in einem Stab einmal in Berlin!”<Berlin! Yes, I know it well! I stabbed a fat woman in a bar once in Berlin!> The group flinched as he gave a thrust forward with his arm and then continued to talk excitedly, “Aber ich bin das Gehen kein wo nahe Berlin.”<Ah, but I am going no where near Berlin.>

Neville's ear perked up, “Berlin?”

“Jah, Berlin! Ich auch griff sexuell ein Pferd in Berlin an!”<Yes, Berlin! I also sexually assaulted a horse in Berlin!> he broke out laughing and started slapping his knee hysterically.

“Nev, what’s he saying?”

“He’s going to Berlin!” said Neville happily holding his arms out.

“Awesome!” shouted Ron, hugging Harry and Hermione. They all were smiling together, patting Neville on the back when the driver spoke again in a mirthful voice.

“Nirgendwo. Nahe. Berlin.”<Nowhere. Near. Berlin> he said smiling, and gesturing every word with his hands.

“Well alright, we’ll just hop in the back here.” Neville responded slapping the side of the truck and walking back to the pile of their bags.

“This is great, Neville, you’ve truly redeemed yourself,” smiled Ron, slinging his arm around Neville and walking to the back of the truck with his bag hung over his shoulder.

Right when Hermione moved to pick up her bag Harry snatched it out of the way.

“Hey!”

“Don’t hey me, you so cheated back there.” said Harry in his mock angry accusing tone.

“Yeah… so…” she replied innocently, sticking her bottom lip out and pivoting her toe in the dirt.

“Oh don’t even try that. I did all the hard work!” said Harry unwillingly giving in to her puppy eyes.

“I think you were handsome enough for the both of us, Harry,” she said taking her bag from his now loose grip as he stared at her with a slight smile and a small blush creeping onto his cheeks, “and apparently… I’m not the only one.” She motioned her head back to the truck where the driver was winking at Harry some more and wiggling his eyebrows at him. His blush and smile immediately vanished. Hermione giggled and ran to the back of the truck where Ron and Neville were waiting.

Harry started to walk back, trying not to notice the driver’s incessant stare on him.

“Hallo, mein kleines Chippendales, warum nicht tun, kommst du sitzt oben hier mit Papapferd, eh?”<Hello my little Chippendales, why don’t you come sit up here with papa horse, eh?>

Harry turned to look at the man who wore a small, but intensifying creepy little grin. “Er, I don’t speak-”

The driver winked again and patted the seat next to him.

Harry turned on his heel and immediately ran to the back of the truck.

…

When the truck came to a stop Ron eagerly jumped out to take in the beautiful a long awaited sights of Berlin.

"Beautiful! We made it to Berlin!" he said taking in a whiff of beautiful Berlin air, which, ironically smelled like suer. Ron choked a little and pulled the strap of is bag tighter to him while taking in the scenery. He furrowed his brows in confusion; this definitely wasn't what he expected.

"Jah," said the driver who had hopped out of the front to help everyone (especially Harry) with their luggage and things, "Niemand von Berlin finden mich überhaupt in Bratislava!"<No one from Berlin will ever find me in Bratislava!> said the man enthusiastically pumping his fist in he hair and then breaking out into another fit of laughter as he walked back to the driver's seat and drove away, giving Harry one last wink as he did so.

"Bratislava?" squeaked Neville watching the back of the van screech away through the distance.

"Dear sweet mother of God," whispered Harry looking in to the part of town that they had not seen when they arrived, "we're in Eastern Europe."

Ron was the first person to start walking cautiously down the street after a few moments of taking in the complete dirt and grime that made up Bratislava. Walking down the dirt street they seen an old man washing his underarms with a moldy towel and smoking a cigarette at the same time, a small and innocent dog, sitting obediently in the grass carrying a ('oh god... is that a hand? Harry's face scrunched up in a repulsive manor') between it's teeth, and various children’s toys laying in the dirt, heads torn off of dolls, and axes put through tires of small bikes.

"Care to explain how this happened, Neville?" Ron asked stopping to turn and look at him.

"Er, well...no."

"Neville, how do you mistake Bratislava for Berlin?" again questioned Ron.

"We all heard the man say Berlin repeatedly," defended Hermione.

"I told you my German was bad, I mean I understood a few words," tried Neville looking down at the ground ashamed.

"Yeah like?"

"Like liquor, arouse, sexually, woman, and assaulted... oh and peanuts!"

"That's the German you picked up from your uncle?" asked Ron incredulously.

"Well yeah, the two years he spent in Leipzig was in jail." Neville said almost bashfully, pivoting his toe into the ground.

Ron turned around on his heel and continued walking. "That's just great, definitely thank your uncle for me, Nev."

"Sorry," mumbled Neville, walking a ways behind everyone else.

"Alright let's just stop. We can fig-" Hermione flinched backwards in the middle of her speech to avoid the trail of water (or so she assumed) that was being thrown out the window of the still standing rubble by a very old woman. "We can figure this out." she said again composing herself and checking to see if anymore unwanted objects were being thrown from the roofs.

"And what exactly do you have in mind?" asked Ron moodily.

"Well-" Hermione again flinched at the sound of a door being opened loudly. The grouped turned to see another old man coming from inside the old graffitied buildings. The few white hairs that remained on his scalp were slicked back, and he wore an open Hawaiian button down shirt and short khaki shorts. He paused when he seen the four young adults.

"You are American?" he asked slowly pointing at them.

"Um, British sir," braved Hermione taking a step forward.

"I love America!" he said again slowly, ignoring Hermione's tries to correct him. "Jah, we just get Miami Vize on the television! 'Ey man Miami Vize number one new show, eh?" he finished twirling the bicycle seat in his hand to imitate a gun.

Harry chuckled uncomfortably, "Right, well we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. D'you know of any trains that'll come through here any time soon?"

"Oh yes very soon," said the man pointing toward an abandoned building that look like a bulldozer had been through, "they are building it now." Harry scratched the back of his head as the man walked over to a bike leaning against a wooden post and popped the seat on, "Enjoy Bratislava," he said as he climbed on the bike, "it's good you cam in summer, in winter it can be very grim and depressing... makes our city look like abandoned rubble and trashy and what not."

The group watched as he rode off down the street and out of site.

"Alright we can handle this." said Hermione optimistically looking between the boys. "Okay how much money do we have?" Everyone started digging in their pockets, Harry pulled out some coins which turned out to be sickles along with Hermione, while Neville took his shoe off and dumped out some coins from within. "I've got three galleons." he said dropping his shoe back to the ground. Harry looked from his shoe back up to him. "Krammer's travel tip," he said innocently. Hermione then turned to Ron who was standing still, arms folded.

"I don't have anything.” he said when Hermione's hand gestured for the money. Hermione glared at him and slapped him across the chest.

"Don't make me hex you."

"What I got noth- fine..." he relented as she fished for her wand in her back pocket. He pulled out three knuts from his front pockets and a galleon from his back.

Hermione started sorting the coins out on her hand. "We have 3 knuts, 11 sickles, and 4 galleons of wizard money. What the hell are we going to get with that?" she asked rhetorically throwing a hand in the air.

... 3 knuts, 11 sickles, 4 galleons and the fanciest hotel in Bratislava later...

Hermione was resting on the large sofa in a luxurious bathrobe, letting the paint on her toes dry when five men in penguin suits marched into the room carrying huge plates full of delicious smelling food and beverages. Ron smiled from his spot in front of the mirror as he tried on an brilliant looking dragon hide jackets at his leisure.

"This day just gets better and better." he said following the men and sitting down at the table where the plate in front of him started filling itself of the food he desired.

"Who woulda thought that Bratislava was a magical community?" asked Hermione casually from the couch.

"Who woulda thought that we could get what we got with the amount of money we had," piped in Harry who was sitting in a fancy massage chair that was charmed to give the perfect massage based on the person.

"Yeah... gotta love that exchange rate."

Harry smiled at her before looking over to Neville who was sitting on a similar sofa with a green mud mask on his face, surrounded by men in penguin outfits, "How ya doin' Nev?" Neville finished pointing out his selection of clothing to the men and responded, "I could get used to this."

"Would ze master like anzething else?" one man asked Ron who was laying back in his cushioned chair having just finished his second full plate.

"I think I'm good, thanks." he replied flipping a coin to the man. The man looked amazed as he caught it and held it up to the light.

"Ah! A knut!" he gasped, turning to what must have been his boss because he was the only one not wearing a penguin suit. He waved the coin in front of his face, "You see zis? I quit," SLAP, "I open my own hotel vith zis." he smiled and skipped out of the room, leaving his boss holding his cheek and staring after him.

Harry smiled the man and shrugged, "So we got five sickles and two knuts left. What is there to do in this town?"

...

Ron, Neville, and Harry walked into the vast room and were suddenly met with loud pounding techno music and an array of flashing neon lights (Big surprise there...). There was a bar to their left which looked like drinks were being served over multi-coloured fire. A short man with a very long pink mohawk was floating in the center of the room. He looked like the DJ according the boxes surrounding him, the head phones draped around his neck, and how he would swish his wand back and forth over the speakers making the beats either slower, louder, less, etc. Along with the music were people bobbing up and down to the beat, looking absolutely piss drunk already. Random cages were also just hanging in the air with sloshed people dancing inside them.

"This is amazing," yelled Neville to the other two.

"Why'd we have to go on this bloody trip right when I've found the girl of my dreams? Couldn't we have done this a year ago, when I had nothing to loose and would have been able to fool around?" Ron asked tearing his gaze away from the various girls who were dancing there life away in outfits that left little to imagine.

Harry just laughed at the him. "Yeah Ron, this definitely sucks for you. We'll understand if you want to just go back to the room and drown away your sorrows in food and quidditch magazines."

Ron scoffed at him, "What are talking about Mr. I'm-not-gonna-get-a-girl-tonight-because-the-girl-I-like-is-my-best-mate-and-I'm-too-scared-to-do-anything-about-it. You'll probably be back to the room before me."

"No I won't." said Harry defiantly.

Ron smiled at him, "Prove it then," he said spreading his arms out, gesturing to the many women in the room who were basically waiting to be taken advantage of. Harry continued to frown at his best mate before he said, "I'm going to get a drink."

A few minutes had past and Harry was working on his third glass of a new drink called Horntail's Breath before someone came and tapped him from behind and whispered in his ear, "Hey good looking, care to buy me a drink?"

Harry nearly choked to death on the sip he was taking and quickly spun around to see who belonged to the sexy voice that was just so close to his ear. Good thing he already swallowed.

"Hermione?!" he gasped, looking at her up and down. Hermione stood behind him smiling down at him. She was wearing a loose thin white halter along with slimming hip-hugger jeans and black stilettos. Her hair fell lazily past her shoulders in soft ringlets that became natural for her nowadays. Her face 'oh that face...' wore barely any makeup, maybe a little mascara but that was it. He continued to look at her, his eyes wide and mouth open.

"Harry? Are you going to just stare at me all night or make a move and buy me a drink?"

"Oh, y-yeah," he stuttered at her turning around and allowing her to sit with him at the bar.

"I'll take what he has," she told the wizard who was bartending. He nodded and snapped his fingers so that a cup with glowing amber liquid would appear in front of her. She took a sip as Harry continued to stare at her.

"Harry, its no fun if I'm the only one drinking." She said giving him a sincere smile. He tore his gaze away immediately and emptied the contents of his cup in one gulp. Slamming it down on the counter, it instantly refilled itself.

"Whoa easy there tiger, I was only teasing you." laughed Hermione at his eagerness. Harry smiled and looked back into her eyes, which made him start to fidget around in his seat.

"Um, you look... er... good." he finally stuttered out. Hermione let out a laugh as Harry silently closed his eyes and shook his head, 'God your an idiot, Potter.'

"Well thank you... that's better than what I got from Ron. Me actually looking like a girl never seizes to amaze him."

"Ron's an idiot. I don't think he'll ever see past you being his little sister."

"Yeah, I think I can handle that," she said downing her second glass of Horntail's. "And you Harry? What do you see me as?" she asked staring into his eyes and not blinking once, quiet enough for only him to hear.

'Was I imagining that, or did she really just ask me what I thought of her?'

"Your my best friend." he said just as quietly, also not blinking.

'ID-I-OT... how the hell do you call yourself a gryffindor?'

She raised her eyebrows at him, daring him to go on.

'Is it just me or did her eyes just suddenly become darker... hmm... it's sexy...'

"Your my best friend in the whole wide world, 'Mione." he whispered again, still caught in a staring battle with those never ending orbs. They unconsciously drifted closer to one another, still staring fiercely between themselves, not noticing anything around them.

"And?" she egged on. Now they were barely an inch apart. Her eyes started to flutter close.

"And I think I'm fa-"

"HARRY! HERMIONE?!" shouted a voice from somewhere in the crowd making the two dart apart immediately. Harry sighed impatiently and clapped a hand to his face, rubbing underneath his glasses in frustration. Hermione turned around to see who had interrupted them.

"Oh there you are!" yelled Ron over the throbbing music. "Guess what we found!" he said with excitement, both him and Neville coming up behind them. "Hey what's wrong with Harry?"

"Nothing," answered Hermione, "so what'd you find?"

In answer Ron brought a neon blue bottle from behind his back and slammed it down in front of them. Hermione studied the bottle for a moment before turning back to them confused.

"What's this?"

"This," said Ron proudly, "is Escada!"

"Krammer says it's illegal in our country because it makes people hallucinate and go crazy!" said Neville with just as much enthusiasm.

"Okay and we would want this because?" Hermione said her brow now furrowed.

"Because, Hermione they call this 'the blue fairy'... this nights going to be crazy-amazing now that we have this. It makes you forget your troubles and leads you to believe you're in a state of paradise; hence 'Escada'," he said matter-of-factly like it was the most obvious answer in the world. Harry's head was now looking directly at the bottle.

"Did you get it from the bar?" Hermione asked, her eyes also resting on the alluring bottle.

"No- I stole it." said Ron with sarcastically take the bottle in one hand and tapping the top of it with his wand in the other. "Now will you quit being little Miss Prefect and take a drink, you want some Harry?" he finished, pouring even amounts into four glasses that the bartender had serviced them with. Harry merely nodded mutely and took a glass into hand.

When everyone had a glass, Hermione looked cautiously between all three of her friends. "Well, here goes nothing."

Within the time spand of two seconds the silky blue liquid had traveled down her throat and pounded down to her stomach. They all slammed their glass down at the same time and waited a few moments for something spontaneously crazy and terrific to happen.

"I gotta say I'm not feeling anything," said Neville looking around to see the others reactions.

"Me neither," replied Harry looking into the cup to see if he missed any.

"This doesn't feel illegal, or like liquid paradise," added Hermione, who was just sitting there staring into the distance.

"Sober as a Percy," Ron sighed. "What about you?" he asked to the glowing blue fairy that had plopped down on his shoulder.

"I'm not feeling a goddamn thing. This Escada is bullshit."

"I hear ya mate."

"So..." Neville began looking at everyone, "who's up for round two?"

...

"Come On Everybody
Get Loose Tonight
Throw A Hand In The Air
If Ya Feelin Aiight
We Don’t Care If Ya Stare
Cause The Music Is Tight
Lemme Hear You Say YEAH
So We Can Do This Right"

The spontaneous craziness started after their second round of drinks.

And it was the fastest four and a half minutes of their lives.

The four were currently situated in the center of the dance floor, now each had their own bottle of Escada, and were jumping, grinding, and all together dancing like crazy people. Ron had jumped onto Harry's back, careful to not spill his now half empty bottle of goods, and was being spun around like a never ending horizontal faris wheel.

The next thing they knew all four were trapped in one of the floating cages. Hermione, not realizing that she was floating twelve feet, in the air started doing the robot with Ron and Neville, while Harry collapsed to the ground in hysteria holding his stomach.

When they had safely returned to the ground they all started dancing on the once shy and bashful Neville.

"I LOVE EASTERN EUROPE!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, throwing his empty bottle into the distance.

"EUROPE!!!!"

...

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat together, at a table farthest away from the bar. Another barmaid with French braids came by and put more full bottles on the table. The three just sat there staring at them before Hermione spoke up, "Bottles are meant to be drunk right?" she said shrugging and grabbing for one.

Ron let out a loud belch when he was finished chugging the strange liquid. "Tomorrow...Berlin!" he stated slowly resting his hands on the table.

Harry and Hermione shared a laugh at him before both glancing out into the crowd.

"Will you look at that," muttered Hermione, nudging both drowsing boys on either side of her. Harry swiped a hand over his face before following Hermione's gaze. His face dropped.

"Neville's hooking up with another girl?"

"What?!" shouted Ron, following to the spot where Neville had a girl with silverish blonde hair pinned up against one of the beams, their lips locked.

"Oh they don't look like their going anywhere." said Harry with a large grin spreading over his open mouth.

"To right of you Neville!" shouted Ron slamming a hand on the table. "I'm proud of da lil' booger. First Gabrielle," he said all eyes drifting back to Neville who was now being walked around on the floor by the girl, their lips still together. "And now..." the trio watched as the seemingly woman changed shapes to an extremely short person with balding hair and a lump on her back. Neville and her lips broke apart giving them a proper look at her face, "Oh my god!" they all said together, Ron falling off his stool. Neville stood there a moment before finally opening his eyes and looking down to the girls face. He screamed and fell backwards as he seen a old and wrinkled face staring back at him wearing a grin with only three teeth poking out and with multiple warts and hairy moles all over.

"Poor bloke," muttered Hermione as Neville continued to scream on the floor, wiping his tongue on the sleeve of his dress shirt.

"He just can't catch a break," added Harry taking a swig out of the bottle.

"First Gabrielle, and now a hag. It's like one step forward and two steps back with him." replied Ron with a pitiful tone.

"That was more like a few million steps back," said Hermione.

"If this is Neville's paradise, then I don't want to know what his hell would be like."

"Probably orange juice commercials with naked lesbians..."

"Poor bloke."

...

Hey guys,

Sorry it’s been so long. We’re hitting our highest peak in the market and my job has kinda been draining my energy. (I haven’t been drunk or partied since St. Patty’s Day!) But I think this chapter turned out okay. I’ve had it written for a while just not posted… I started to get a little unmotivated because I think I’m starting to follow too closely to the movie. But don’t worry! Originality is coming! And so is some goody H/Hr interaction next chapter. And I mean inter-interaction ;]

Thanks for reading!

-oliver

10. The Big Question

Author’s Note:

Alright so I’m honestly really close to updating, I have to versions of the next chapter written but I didn’t want to make the wrong decision and be flamed to much for it soooo I’m taking the popular vote of what you fans want to happen. [People who are screaming at me because they want Harry and Hermione to hook up for the love of God already then this is for you]

Should Harry and Hermione be virgins?

Ya or Nay?

Now understand on one side I didn’t want just Harry to have had sex, because I wanted to show that Hermione has had a relationship (definitely NOT with Viktor hehe) and could have a confident sexy side…

But then again if I wanted to stay close to character with them both I believe Harry would be too noble to just jump in the sack with Cho, but to rather wait til marriage because the poor sod actually believed he loved the silly sla-… hem, hem… girl.

And also it being Hermione’s NEWT year I think in character Hermione would be way too worried with Head Girl duties and studying then to also jump in the sack with some undeserving bloke.

* Now also understand that if you chose for them to be virgins it won’t be as hot and sexy as some of you may wish… because come on, the first time is always awkward*

Please just let me know in your reviews and thank a lot for your input. The chapter should be out by the weekend :]]

-Oliver

11. All Pooped Out and A Near Fatal Drowning

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Harry Doesn’t Know

Chapter 10: All Pooped Out and A Near Fatal Drowning

A/N: Thanks for all your guys’ help. I’ve read every single reviewer’s ideas and reasoning and I have made my decision, so thank you all for your tremendous help. Now to explain why I didn’t update when I said I would, my daughter had an allergic reaction and ended up in the hospital late Friday night and all of Saturday. She’s fine now, back to playing football in the house in her tutu and waking me up in the early hours to bake a cake for Captain Crunch’s [her puppy] birthday.

Okay so enough with my rambling and onto the chapter. I hope you guys like it and keep in mind I AM a bloke, but I think it went pretty smoothly.

…

The quartet were sitting quietly on an old stone staircase facing the street, waiting for their ride. Hermione had her chin in hand and was trying desperately to keep her eyes open. Harry was slumped against a pillar, rubbing a hand over his forehead. Neville and Ron however, were both wide awake, Ron leaning back casually with a small smile looking at Neville who was sitting up straight and alert, eyes wide open looking out into nothingness.

"So," started Ron wanting to ignite conversation between the gloomy bunch. No one acknowledged him, Neville still staring aimlessly.

"Wild night, eh?" asked Ron with a wry grin, again trying to start a discussion. Hermione gave him a scowl while Neville's eyes darted around nervously.

"Yeah, pretty wild. I mean I know I was out of control. But what about you guys... Neville?" Ron asked after no one responded.

Neville gulped loudly, "Yeah, it was fun." he whispered hoarsely.

"Oh come on Neville, it was beyond fun! You kind of disappeared there for a bit at the end... what happened? Run off with any cute girls?" Ron wiggled his eyebrows at him when Neville gasped.

"Ron quit," Hermione warned fixing him with a glare.

"Uh, no, no girls." replied Neville, shuffling his feet on the ground.

"Oh, of course. Hey Nev, can I see your Krammer's?" Neville silently handed the book of to Ron while he immediately started flipping through it.

"Oh look Bratislava!" he said pointing at a page in the book. "Hmm, interesting, it's the capital of Slovakia, home to the National Slovakian Gallery, oh here's a fun fact! You snogged a hag!"

"I did not!" shouted Neville quickly as Ron started roaring in laughter. "She was a girl when I kissed her!"

"Neville... had a... snog session with...-" laughed Ron, holding the book to his chest for air support.

"Enough Ron!" moaned Harry from the corner who was now massaging his forehead carefully.

"Oh, you’re right mate," said Ron regaining his composure, "How's it feel that Neville got more action from a hag last night then you did from Herm-"

"SHUT UP!" chorused all three looking at Ron in disgust as he rolled over in the grass laughing at the three's expression.

Before Ron could encourage the fight anymore a small compact car pulled up screeching to a halt in front of them.

"'Ey Americans! You want go to Berlin? I'm your ride, hop in!" The man they had met yesterday morning was waiting for them in the car, clad with slicked back white hairs and button down Hawaiian shirt.

The four looked cautiously between themselves before gathering their belongings and cramming into the small car.

...

"Uh-oh," said McGruff from the driver's seat.

"What's uh-oh?" asked Hermione, crinkling a brow in worry. They had been driving for the past five hours in which the man called McGruff went on and on about what he loved about America and interrogated the four on why they did not watch 'Miami Vize'. Hermione was in the middle of Harry and Ron, with Neville in the front of the very cramped and rickety car. Hermione started to get nervous when she heard a series of clicking and what sounded like the crunching of gravel.

"My baby," said the old man gesturing at the car, "she uh... all pooped out." With that there was a resounding thud where the four fell forward slightly as result of the sudden stopping of the car.

"What do mean she's all pooped out?" asked an anxious Ron who was just realizing what had just happened.

"She need more, uh... gas-o-line!" he smiled finally thinking of the word. He looked around at the four individuals who did not seemed pleased at all.

"What do you mean she needs more gas?!" Ron practically screamed at the man, going of into a tirade of what he could have done to prevent this problem. Hermione and Harry shared a worried look before turning back to Ron. Neville sat quietly in the front seat.

"'Ey calm down there young American-"

"WE'RE BRITISH!"

"Okie dokie. Ah, the town, uh... Leipzig is only a fair twenty miles away. I could walk der, and uh be back vith the gas-o-line by morning!"

"Is that safe? Walking into a town like that at night?" asked Hermione with a concerned tone from the back seat. She received a glare from Ron saying 'Who gives a bloody hell if it's safe, the wanker's going.'

"Ah, no worries my dearest lamb, I have run vith the bulls in Leipzig before." he continued giving her a small wink in which Harry shifted closer to her. "I vas in prison there for two of my life years, I know the vay they think," he finished leering in closer to the three in the back seat and tapping his index finger to his forehead slowly.

"Er, right. Well... best get going." offering the man a small smile and hoping he would move his face away from them.

"Wait, wait, what are we supposed to do here until morning?" asked Ron getting suddenly agitated.

"You either want him to go or not Ron," Hermione told him giving her a look daring him to object otherwise.

"No worries, mi bella, there is a lake, just there!" he said pointing towards the line of trees beyond the meadow where glistening water sparkled off of what was left of the dimmering evening sun.

"What are we supposed to do with a lake?" asked Ron again.

"Well, ah, water! Yes, water, and uh, swimming!" he said starting to move his arms imitating swimming. Ron gave the man the dumbest look he could muster. "Ah bath, baptise yourself-"

"Great! We're all set, better get going and be safe!" said Hermione before Ron could come back with a not so pleasant remark.

"Ah don't worry about me shining lamb," he said getting out of the car and starting to button up his Hawaiian shirt before starting to chuckle to himself, "I am not afraid to slap a few but cheeks, eh?" he smiled at them and left with a wave walking down the single road leading off into the countryside.

"That man scares me," muttered Neville before opening the car door and hopping out.

"Where are you going?" asked Harry starting to shift in his seat to peer out of the car some.

"Aren't we going to the lake?" he asked innocently pointing in the direction of the meadow.

"Don't be ridiculous Neville, get back in the car." huffed a moody Ron, folding his arms across his chest and glaring into the distance.

Hermione watched Neville obediently get back in the car with a disappointed look on his face. Hermione sighed shooting a small glare at Ron before starting to unbutton her jumper to reveal a cotton white tank top underneath.

"Alright Neville get out of the car," she said while she casually leaned over Harry to unlock and open his side of the door.

"Uh, what?" asked Neville looking back to see Hermione successfully slide her jumper off her shoulders.

"Well it's a rather warm evening isn't it? And I fancy a good swim, don't you?" she asked flashing him a smile. Neville excitedly got out of the car and started of towards the lake with Ron scoffing in the background. Hermione sighed at Ron before swinging a leg over Harry so she was straddling him, her face extremely close do to the brevity of the car, "What about you Harry? Fancy a swim?" It was a quiet question full of some compelling intensity Harry had never heard from her before. He swore he could see darkness taking over her eyes again. Then she smiled, opened the door and took of running after Neville towards the small lake.

Harry sat there for a moment and stared after her, watching everything from her chestnut hair and they way it bounced in perfect rhythm with her movement to the way her small navy shorts rode up a smidgen as she ran.

"Oh, you two make me sick," muttered Ron beside him.

"Shut up, Ron," Harry said quietly before getting out of the car and running after her.

When Harry passed the thin line of trees he was met with a beautiful clearing with the body of water right in the center. I was more of a large pond rather than a small lake, but Harry still thought it was perfect. Small flat pebbles led off the shore line and there was a little spot off in the corner with logs that would do well to sit on. He looked around trying to find where Neville and Hermione had gone off to.

Before he had a chance to call out he heard a scream and flipped around to find Neville jumping into the water from a large rock that towered about fifteen feet above the surface. He was down for a while before he came back up, whipping the brunette locks out of his face and laughing along with Hermione who was now at the top of the rock.

"How's it feel Nev?" she shouted.

"F-f-freezing!" he stuttered out before diving back under and swimming in small circles.

Hermione noticed Harry staring up at her and shouted to him, "Harry get up here! Don't think your taking the easy way out!"

"Wouldn't dream of it 'Mione," he yelled back before running around the water and light scatter of trees to climb on the rock with her.

"Alright deal is you have to jump." informed Hermione when he reached the top and was now looking out amongst the pond. It look a considerable deal larger from here. He looked back to Hermione and smiled letting out a small laugh.

"You gonna go swimming in that?" he asked referencing to the thin white cotton tank she had on.

'You gonna go swimming in that?" she asked not bothering to answer his initial question. He looked down to realize he still had on his navy blue shirt.

He scoffed playfully before bringing the shirt up and over his head and discarding it to the side. "No," he responded smiling.

"But you're going to go swimming in your pants and shoes?" she asked with a devilish grin. He looked down at himself and then looked into her eyes with his own grin forming.

"Alright, I know where you're going with this. And I am not shedding anymore clothes until I see some stripping from you missy. Or have you forgotten the half nude display I put on to get us a ride?"

"You mean 'we'," she said playfully wiggling her index finger between herself and Harry.

"No, I mean 'I'. You didn't undress at all, you little cheat."

Hermione gasped and feigned a hurt look, "I'm appalled! I took my shoes off!"

"Oh yes, and I'm sure those sexy feet of yours were enough to arouse an insane man to stop and give us a ride."

"Hey you never know," she said, sliding off her sandals, and gently kicking Harry in the shins with one of her 'sexy feet'. Harry laughed at her and she scoffed, "You mean to tell me that this foot doesn't turn you on?" she asked in a playful sexy voice.

"Mmmm, they are sexy, but that isn't what really turns me on," Harry said smiling.

"Oh really. Well then what does turn you on Mr. Potter?"

Harry looked at her as his flirtatious grin turned to into a shy smile. "Your eyes," he said just above a whisper. Her joking smile also dropped as his eyes bore intently into hers. "It's like, there dark yet light at the same time, like they reek of comfort. They have such an openness that shows off your knowledge and wisdom, but they also hold their secrets, right? There's just something in there that I haven't been able to figure out yet." She opened her mouth slightly as he brushed a small strand of hair off her face and tucked it delicately behind her ear. She was willing herself to come up with something witty but she couldn't find it in herself to ruin this moment with him so she bit her lip instead. Harry let out a low laugh, "And the way you bite your lip, how you have that small corner stuck between your teeth, it makes the rest of your lip pout out, kinda like your holding back from something, anyway it makes your face all the more gorgeous." Hermione let out a breath she had been holding as he finished speaking. 'Oh Merlin, is this really happening?' She could feel the butterflies in her stomach ignite as he reached a gentle hand forward, entwining his fingers with hers.

She gulped, "Anything else?" she whispered, shuffling forward slightly so he could hear.

His smile grew wider, "Yeah actually, then there's your smile, which kind of counteracts with your eyes. You may not know it, but when you curve your mouth upwards," he moved his other hand to cup her chin, brushing his thumb across her bottom lip, "it gives off the tiniest ray of hope and comfort, which can make it like anything’s possible, with no pressure added because you and your smile's still going to be their even if you fail. It's beautiful, perfect even, it's just so... you." He let out small laugh once he finished, letting his hand and gaze drop from her face and trying to take a step back but Hermione caught him before he moved.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked breathlessly searching out his eyes again.

"I've always known you were beautiful, Hermione," he responded quickly "I just, I don't think I ever appreciated you until now."

Hermione stood there looking at him for what seemed like forever, just twitching her jaw trying to form a coherent thought. After Harry looked thoroughly bemused Hermione let out a breath and chuckled, "You just rendered me speechless Harry." He let out a hearty laugh before she continued smiling, "And that's no easy feat," she teased poking him on the chest.

"Yeah, well you deserve to be told how amazing you are." he said genuinely, leaving Hermione to have her joking smile slowly disappear off her face again.

"You think I'm amazing?" she asked again softly. 'Oh how the hell is he saying the sweetest things so perfectly? Wasn't he supposed to be the flustered one when he was genuinely speaking from the heart? What happened to the teasing? I'm in control with the teasing!!'

"Yes Hermione!" he seemed to say a little impatiently, yet all the more compassionately. "How can you think so little of yourself? I know you're amazing, and any guy should give his left nut to be with you." He finished, picking up a oval shaped pebble and chucking it into the water below.

Hermione stared at him for a moment as he stood slightly in front of her looking out over the lake, pondering what he had just said. 'That's got to be one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me... leaving out the nut of course...' She shook her head quickly, trying to think of something smooth to do. 'Alright Granger just play it cool... calm and confident... be in control... oh to hell with it, I have to know if he's feeling the same way I am.'

She folded her arms across her chest. "And you Harry? What would you give to be with me?"

"Me? I'd give up both nuts but I want to have kids someday so..."

Hermione sighed letting her arms drop to the side, 'Of course he was kidding. I don't even know what I expected from him. He's your best friend, Granger- FRIEND-'

Hermione, to busy with her internal ramblings, didn't notice Harry situate himself directly in front of her. He took her face in his hands as her eyes snapped up to meet his staring at her. She had a questioning look on her face, but didn't voice protest.

"So I guess we'll have to find another way," he said lowly before dipping his head slowly. Hermione's eyes fluttered close as soon as she realised what was about to happen.

'Oh Merlin, he's going to kiss me. Yes! YES-'

"Oi, you goons, get down here before Neville drowns himself in the shallow end!'

Harry let out an aggravated growl, abandoning his position so close to Hermione's partly opened mouth.

"Kind of busy here, Ron!" he shouted down with as much calm fury as he could muster. Ron looked up at his two best mates, and he noticed that they were standing about a hair away from each other. His eyebrows shot to the middle of his forehead when he concluded that they were just about to eat each other's faces.

"Oh... err... sorry Harry... and Hermione... please continue," he replied sheepishly as possible without bursting into fits of giggles that would put Lavender and Parvati to shame.

"Sorry," Harry whispered turning back to Hermione and lowering his head again.

"Uh, guys?"

"WHAT?!" screamed Hermione this time, her eyes aflame with irritation as yet again Harry pulled away.

Ron seemed to flinch visibly with her tone of voice. "Sorry, it's just... Neville's still drowning."

Sure enough Neville seemed to be floating head down near the shore line, every other part of his body flailing above water creating quite a disturbance.

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

…

AHAH!

Now, how many of you want to find out where I live so you can throw me in a tank full of sharks with frickin’ lasers attached to their frickin’ heads? I bet a lot of you, and truly I did not think I was going to end here, but it did so deal with what you got. The next chapter should be up maybe tomorrow, or the day after, or if my daughter falls asleep early, tonight! So don’t get your knickers in a twist and make sure you come back for next chapter and all the really horrific, gross, mushy, gushy, romance stuff that I can’t believe I wrote in my sane state of mind.

-Oliver

12. Denied... NOT!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Harr Doesn't Know

Chapter 11: Denied... NOT!

A/N:Alright, alright so you here's the chapter you've been waiting for and it's only been a week and a half over due. I'm sorry truly, I've got no wonderfully constructed excuse because in reality, I just got lazy. I told myself that I'd post it before I went on vacation and then I told myself that I'd post it when I was on vacation but when I was on my vacation, about to post it, I realised it was rubbish and decided to chuck it and start all over, so here it is. Finally.

WARNING: This chapter has been changed to NC-17 because of all the mushy gushy gross romance stuff.

And thanks to my wonderful beta Danni [:

...

The group of four were currently sitting around a conjured fire on the edge of the lake. Hermione had summoned her wand in time to pull Neville out of the lake and afterward had to cast a relaxing charm while his back was turned. He swears that something was down there latched to his hand and it kept pulling him deeper into the water when in reality he had swam through a blotch of thick, long grass and had simply had an anxiety attack and freaked out trying to get his hand free.

Ron let out a loud belch as he finished the sandwich Harry had conjured for dinner, "Merlin, Harry hopefully you'll never be in a dyer situation where you’ll have to depend on your wand for food, because that was the worst ham sandwich I've ever had."

"Yet you still ate it Ron." added Hermione giving him an amused look.

"Well of course I still ate it, that would be just bad manners if I hadn't."

"Well Ron if you'd prefer to go eat a pine cone, be my guest," said Harry leaning back against the log he was sharing with Neville.

"No, but I would prefer for Hermione to make me another one of those brilliant exproso things, because those are fuckin' delicious." he said raising his previous mug in Hermione's direction.

"Ooh, me too!" squealed Neville holding up an identical mug.

"It's called an espresso, Ron, and no," she finished defiantly shaking her head, "you both promised last time that that would be your last one. You don't need anymore!"

"After the pile of dirt I just ate, yes I do!" said Ron defensively flinging a hand to point at Harry. In return, Harry sent a pebble flying at Ron's head.

"OI! And now I'm being assaulted! Please Hermione!"

"Please Hermione," started Neville who looked at her with puppy eyes, "I still have the chills from being under earlier, I could really use a little sprucing up."

Hermione just gave him a quizzical look. Neville was wrapped in a thick gray blanket sitting next to warm fire. She rolled her eyes and spoke, "Alright fine, but when you can't sleep for days, don't come crying to me for a sleeping draught because I will have no sympathy." Ron and Neville were squirming in there seats with huge grins on their faces as Hermione waved her wand and their mugs where filled with the creamy dark espresso with foam on top.

Ron looked happily at the mug and then at Hermione, "Don't worry 'Mione," he said taking a small sip, "hopefully when we get to Berlin and I see Leigh I won't want to sleep for days."

"Oh gross, Ron!" shouted Hermione playfully as Ron tipped back the rest of his espresso and Neville and Harry chuckled.

"I hope she doesn't mind but when I get going, it's like I can't stop, I get-"

"Alright, I think that's my cue to go for a walk." said Hermione standing up from her uncomfortable seat of the log.

"I'll go with you," exclaimed Harry instantly, jumping for the opportunity to be alone with her.

"Oooh," cooed Ron and Neville together, both with identical indigenous smirks and waggling their eyebrows in Harry and Hermione's direction.

Hermione gave him a soft smile, "I'll be okay."

"Alright," he said a little put out, "we'll talk later?"

"Sure," she said heading off to the opposite side of the lake. He slowly sank back down to his seat on the log, watching her disappear into the darkness beyond the lake.

Harry turned to see Neville with wide, laughing eyes, who had his fist conveniently shoved in his mouth to keep quiet and Ron with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips. Harry gave them both confused looks.

"DENIED!" shouted Ron in a deep robotic tone as Neville howled with laughter.

"Ha-ha, shut it." said Harry dryly throwing his own mug at them.

...

Harry finally came upon Hermione laying in the middle of a long, grassy meadow beyond the lake, her hands placed by her sides, her eyes gazing up at the sky.

"Beautiful night, eh?" she asked nonchalantly, not breaking her gaze.

"Er... yeah," he said after a while of just looking at her, her face illuminated by the bright shining stars and half crescent moon shining in the sky.

"We got really lucky that it's a clear night and not raining," she continued with the casual banter.

"Yeah we did. I brought you a blanket just in case you're cold." he said finally coming to lay down next to her. She smiled at him taking the blanket and throwing it over the both of them.

"Thank you."

"So I managed to calm Ron and Nev down and they're currently passed out on top of each other."

Hermione chuckled, "Oh I don't even want to know," she said giving Harry an amused glance.

"Okay, okay, I did have to take them out by force but only because they were on the verge of disrupting mother nature."

"Oh god," she continued to laugh to herself. Harry smiled at the look on her face deciding to press her a little further.

"They wanted to start making the mating calls of wild boars and-"

"Harry!" exclaimed Hermione with a smile on her face but still with enough authority in her voice to get him to stop.

He laughed at her "Alright, alright."

She snuggled deeper into the blankets, resuming her gazing at the stars.

He smiled at her and then felt around on the ground, busying himself by playing with the long stringy grass.

"So..." he sounded, still looking aimlessly around and ripping up the grass. Any hopes that they could just jump back to where they were when they were interrupted was ruined as she silently lay on the grass, looking up with a content smile on her face.

Hermione took a deep breath before she started, "Harry what you said to me earlier was the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Harry just looked sideways at her for a moment before responding, "Well it's completely true."

She met is eyes looking sideways as well, "So, am I your rebound or something?"

"What?" asked Harry truly confused.

"From Cho... am I your rebound from her since you guys were in love and then she broke up with you..."

"Hermione, stop," he ordered holding up a hand. "First, you're not just a rebound for Cho. Everything I said to you earlier was how I really felt, and I've just been trying to tell you this whole trip . Hell I started having feelings for you before Cho... before the war-"

"Wait, what?" she asked sitting up to balance on her elbows, "Since before the war? What happened... why didn’t you say anything?" she asked again, clearly unnerved that his feelings ran that far back.

"Terry Boot happened, along with Danny Porter, Steve Atkins, Max Hawthorne, SEAMUS-"

"Oh you know that only went on for a week after that Hogsmeade trip."

"Yeah, and that was a week of torture for me, hearing how my best friend 'the sexy bookworm' was a great snog. It wasn't fun for me... or Ron... but he was too busy sending his love letters off to Leigh."

"We only snogged that once," she muttered innocently, turning her head away from Harry.

"Still. And I didn’t want to be involved with anyone before I killed Voldemort because of the chance of me dieing, and after the war I told myself I'd tell you, or try to do something about it, but when I seen you with your new boyfriends and I saw that you were somewhat happy with them... I didn't want to bugger that up for you. You deserve to be happy 'Mione."

"You deserve that too." she whispered grabbing hold of his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I wanted to be. That's why I started up with Cho. And everything was going so well with her that I think I fooled myself into thinking I was the one with her- but what... it turned out I was more like a hundred and one-"

"-Two hundred... and one more like." Hermione said with a small smile and a cock of her head.

Harry laughed, "Yeah probably. So do you still have any doubts about me?"

"I don't doubt you Harry," she said immediately looking him in the eye to show that she was being sincere, "I just-"

"Can't believe this is true?" he asked looking to see her response. He watched as her eyes looked down to their conjoined hands.

"More like actually happening," she said quietly.

"Hermione," he said rolling over on his side and propping himself up on an elbow to cup her chin with his free hand, "I'm not the only person that thinks you're amazing." He was so close that Hermione could feel his hot breath hit her partially open mouth. 'You're a Gryffindor... you can do this Granger, be brave!'

"But you're the only one that matters to me," she spoke softly before tilting her head up barely an inch and pressing her lips against his.

Harry responded almost instantly, his lips pressing fully against hers as his hand moved from its position below her chin to the back of her neck. They never broke the kiss as Harry laid her head down gently and moved slightly on top of her. She opened her mouth to him, heir tongues tenderly meeting for the first time. Her lips opened wider as his tongue delved deeper, touching every crevice and exploring every soft spot. When they separated for air Harry continued pressing damp kisses down her cheek, making his way to her jaw and then eventually sucking lightly on her neck, making Hermione gasp and wriggle beneath him.

He smiled knowing he had found her weak point. His hands slowly traveled down her sides, his numbs delicately tracing over her breast. Hermione gasped again, know breathing rather hard. Her fingers went to the back of Harry's neck and then worked their way through his messy hair.

Now that his hands were gently touching and rubbing underneath her shirt he moved his head back to kiss her again. This time Hermione took control of the kiss, immediately deepening it and pulling him even closer. She pulled her right leg up slightly, which pressed her groin against Harry's making him moan in pleasure. She could feel his growing erection just below her belly button and it inspired her to be bolder in her actions. Her hands moved from his hair, down his well toned back and to the hem of his shirt tugging on it lightly.

Harry got the picture, and broke the kiss to rid himself of his navy blue shirt (pulling his glasses of with it) before returning to Hermione's hot mouth and pressing into her harder.

Both Harry and Hermione's hands were aching to touch naked skin. As their tongues were locked in a fierce battle, Harry's palms moved up under Hermione tank top to cup her clothed breasts. A soft moan emitted in the back of her throat, spurring Harry to continue his assault on her.

Hermione, feeling the need to be back in control, quickly flipped them so she was straddling his hips while still kissing him passionately. Harry, not complaining about the sudden change, quickly removed Hermione of her top and threw it off to the side somewhere, leaving her in her swimming top. Their mouths fused together again while Harry's eager fingers made their way to Hermione's soft back, searching for the tie of her bikini. Once he found it his fingers clasped around it. He broke the kiss to look into her dark eyes asking for permission. She nodded, allowing him to pull on the strings and bring the top over her head, leaving her chest bare in front of him. His hands positioned themselves on her waist as he just stared at her for a moment with an open mouth.

She looked at him confused for a moment, "Is something wrong?"

He shook his head feverishly, "Your gorgeous," he breathed out. She sat up slightly as his hands moved up her body and finally took a gentle hold of her breasts, kneading them and rubbing his thumb over her nipple.

Her eyes rolled back and she let out a length breath as he kept up his ministration on her. Before she knew what was happening, one of Harry's hands had moved to caress her cheek and brought her down for his mouth to claim hers yet again. This time it was slower, and more savouring as their tongues softly stroked together, one of Harry's hands still holding her in place and the other moving in between her two breasts to give them equal attention.

Hermione's hands started roaming down Harry's bare chest, feeling every muscle he so proudly showed. Her mouth trailed not far behind, kissing her down his ripped chest and abs. When her hands finally hit the material of his jeans, she looked up at him, her hands moving to the centre to take hold of his belt buckle.

Harry was now propped up on his elbows, his bright emerald eyes staring down at her. "Are you sure you want this?"

She took a breath before nodding her head and preceding to unbuckle and unzip his trousers with delicate hands. Once his pants were eliminated along with his socks and trainers, Harry again flipped them over so Hermione was laying on her back in the soft grass, their long forgotten blanket tangled up somewhere on the side.

He moved on top of her, his hands on either side of her shoulders holding him up so he wouldn’t crush her. As he kissed her again he slowly moved his full wait onto his right hand as his left one danced down her flat stomach and to her buttoned shorts. He managed to get them loosely unbuttoned without breaking the kiss, and soon enough they were both laying there in an intimate embrace, both clad only in their knickers and boxers.

His hand moved down to rub her over her black satin panties, making her moan and squirm in her spot. He smiled against her lips as he felt her hot wetness seeping through her knickers. Hermione, knowing the little bugger was smiling at her torture, let her hand slide down and cup him, her thumb brushing over what she knew was his tip.

He groaned, his heart beating faster and faster as she kept squeezing him. 'Okay, that's enough games...' he decided to himself as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her panties and began to slip them down her legs. Hermione bit the corner of her lip as she herself started to pull of his black boxers. She could feel him against her as his erection finally sprang free and touched the wetness of her mound.

She moaned softly as he started stroking her entrance with one of his long slender fingers. He loomed over her giving her a small kiss as he pushed a finger into her making her purr deep in her throat. His first finger was quickly followed by a second, as he pushed them in and out rhythmically.

"Is that okay?" he asked as her breathing became shallow.

"Yes," she moaned out, "you're perfect."

He smiled at her, still pushing his fingers in and out of her and now his thumb coming up to play with her bundle of nerves. "Really?" he asked giving her another small kiss, "Because some people say that my hair's too messy. And I could have made an improvement on many History of Magic assignments."

"I like your hair," she said moving a hand to come up and play with it, while bringing him down to properly kiss him. He pulled his fingers out of her as he deepened the kiss more. Not breaking the kiss, he situated himself over her, positioning himself at her entrance. She moaned and brought her legs up ready to wrap them around his waist.

"Hermione," he exhaled, breaking the kiss for a moment before dipping his head down again.

"Hmmm," she sounded, her lips still locked with his.

"I've never- so I mean... I-I'm not su-" he stuttered looking her in the eye.

Hermione smiled at him gently before silencing him with a kiss. "It's Protecio."

Harry gave her a quizzical look, "Have you ever-"

"No, but I know everything, remember?" she said giving him yet another lingering kiss.

He grinned at her, "You little vixen," he said lustfully before grabbing his wand out of his pants and casting the contraception charm.

He again moved over her, readying himself at here entrance. "Ready?" he whispered.

She moved her hands up to grip his shoulders, her legs spreading further and folding up slightly. She looked into his eyes a moment before nodding.

His mouth came over hers as he slowly entered her, waiting to hit her barrier. He remembered Seamus and Ron talking about this one night last year after a Hogsmeade weekend. How you're supposed to go gently until the barrier and then push through quickly. They used the reference of 'ripping a band-aid' but then again they are Seamus and Ron.

He looked up into her eyes, seeing the anticipation and want. He gave her a soft kiss before burying his head in her shoulder and pushing through.

Hermione let out a strangled cry as her eyes snapped shut. 'Oh god, you will not let these tears fall Granger, you will not!' she scolded herself as she could feel the water pool in her eyes. She defiantly pushed them back and opened her eyes to see Harry looking at her apologetically.

"It's fine," she said quickly cutting him off, "I'm fine." She took a second before moving her hips against his. He took the motion as a sign to continue and gradually started moving in her.

Eventually the pain began to fade away and was replaced by sensations that far surpassed anything she had ever felt before. She began to move with him, meeting him thrust for thrust. Harry began to pant as he buried his head in her shoulder again and started moving harder and faster, though still keeping control, in her. He was amazed at the way her body felt completely sheathing him. The way her muscles would periodically tighten around him, making him drive into her harder.

Meanwhile, Hermione wasn't bothering to muffle her cries that were escaping her open mouth. One hand was still gripping his shoulder while the other was looped around his neck, pressing his body into hers. Her head turned to lay right next to Harry's as he continued to plunge into her. Every pant and moan she heard from him was building up in her lower region just waiting for release.

Suddenly Hermione's eyes began to roll back in their sockets as she began to cry out Harry's name, her body warmed head to toe. It lasted a few moments as Harry continued to move frantically in her before his climax ended and he crumbled on top of her, his head laying in the crook of her shoulder. They lay together for a while panting and still in a daze from what just happened, before Harry had the strength to roll off her, reach for the blanket and then move back over to her, pulling her on top of him as he threw the blanket back over them.

They don't know how long the had been laying their, wrapped in each others arms, giving each other lazy kisses, but they both did know that they were perfectly content and happy there.

"Who would have though the trip to Berlin would lead us here?" asked Harry quietly, his eyes drooping from exhaustion.

Hermione smiled, "Are you complaining?"

"No," he said quickly, tightening his grip on her, "this is perfect."

"Mmm," she agreed sleepily, "I want to stay here forever."

"I don't know about forever, but we can stay here tonight."

"That's not the way I want Ron and Neville to find out about us." she said glancing up at him.

Harry grinned mischievously, "Ron and Neville are under the influence of a very powerful sleeping spell."

Hermione giggled as she closed her eyes, "So that's what 'by force' means."

"Yes, bless their poor little hearts, but this was just too good for them to come interrupt. Plus they had nine of those bloody espressos for Merlin's sake; they were getting a tad annoying."

Hermione giggled and buried her head deeper into Harry's shoulder. Harry just looked over to her and smiled. He couldn't for the life of him believe how lucky he was. He was on this trip with his closest friends, he finally got to admit to Hermione how he felt, and not only did she feel the same way but he had lost his virginity to the girl of his dreams in what seemed to be the most perfect time and place imaginable. 'Only one thing left to do...'

"Hermione?"

"Hmm?" was the muffled response from next to him.

"I-" he took a deep breath 'Don't be a little Nancy girl Potter- TELL HER!'

"I love you."

The breath hitched in Hermione's throat as her eyes snapped open. "What?" she asked, sitting up a little to get a proper look at him.

"I love you," he said again without hesitation.

Hermione could feel the tears begin to build up in her eyes as she gazed down on her best friend - no, her lover. She cocked her head to the side, "Really?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, really. I love you." he finished smiling at her. 'That's actually rather fun to say...'

She continue to stare at him with her now intensely bright chocolate eyes. A small smile began to spread across her face. "I love you too, Harry."

"You're not just saying that?" he couldn't help the large grin he was now wearing.

Hermione shook her head, "No. I love you Harry James."

He smiled as he came up to capture her lips in yet another mind blowing kiss. She returned the kiss with just as much fervour, beginning to lazily run her fingers through his hair almost as if it was the natural thing to do. As the minutes passed, their snog session became more heated as now Harry was again on top of Hermione readying himself to enter her.

Harry broke the kiss to look at her with a smirk across his lips, "So I guess we really did get lucky that it was a clear night and not raining. I don't know about you but cold rain would really suck for me."

He brought his lips down to her again as Hermione burst out into a fit of giggles which were quickly silenced as he kissed her and entered her for what wouldn't be the last time that night.

...

A/N: You can leave a review on your way out if you'd like. Telling me that I shoul never attempt writing a shag scene ever again or anything you'd like. If not, I really do appreciate you reading!

13. Morning Yodels and Happy Ending In Berlin?

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything.

Harry Doesn’t Know

Chapter 12: Morning Yodels and Happy Ending In Berlin?

A:N/ This will probably be finished before DH comes out, so read the AN at the end and give me your ideas if you want to see more! And again, thank you to Danni for the quick beta.

…

"YODDELAY-HEEE-HOO!" shouted a cheerful voice from the distance.

Harry groaned from behind Hermione, tightening his arm that was thrown lazily over her waist so that she was now fully against him with his head laying protectively over hers.

"What is that?" whispered Hermione still half asleep. She closed her eyes tighter, trying to block out the morning sun.

"Just a bird. Go back to sleep," he rasped back, placing a kiss on the side of her head and snuggling in closer.

She smiled as she felt something hard against the back of her naked bum, "I guess that’s not the only thing awake, eh?"

"Shut it, you," he smirked as he pinched her bum playfully making her squeal.

"Why Mr. Potter," she teased beginning to turn around to look at him, "Aren't you- AHH!" she let out a loud shriek pulling the blanket up to her chin.

"What's wrong?" Harry began jumping immediately and fretfully touching her shoulder. He looked over to where her wide eyes were focused, "Bloody hell!" he yelled, protectively leaning over Hermione to let her hide behind him.

"Wakey, wakey, hands of snakey!" said McGruff cheerfully, rubbing his palms together and giving Harry a wink.

"Where the hell d'you come from?" exclaimed Harry, looking down to make sure everything below his waist was covered.

McGruff tried to turn his eyes to get a peek at Hermione but she only pulled the blanket up more and huddled further behind Harry. "Didn't you get me yodel?"

"Your what?" Harry asked impatiently. This wasn't exactly the morning after he had planned...

"My yodel. It goes something like YODDELAY-HEE-"

"Alright!" Harry yelled, cutting him off. His hands were brought up to his ears trying to protect them from the sudden shrill shrieking. "No, we must have missed it."

"Ohoh, I can only imagine, eh man?" he said holding his hands in front of him, curled into fists and pumping his hips back and forth.

Harry just stared at the man, totally appalled. "No," he said simply with a look of disgust. Hermione groaned and pressed her head deeper into Harry's back.

"Oh right, right," he chuckled, winking his right eye and then his left in an obvious manor.

"Is there something you need?" asked Harry with severe impatience in him tone.

"I'm back vith the gas-o-line! The two young foals are still sleeping. They must've had a pretty tiring night too, eh?" he asked raising a mirthful eye at Harry and Hermione, who were both staring at the man in repugnance. "Too bad I had to leave, I'm known to be very pleasuring," he said shaking a finger at them, like they would actually care to know this, " my friends from prison didn't call me the energizer-rabbit for nothing, eh!" he finished with a shout, bouncing happily on the balls of his feet.

Both Harry and Hermione's jaws dropped and eyebrows shot into their hair line. 'Wow...' Harry thought to himself, 'what a way to kill an erection...' His eyes dropped down to give an apologetic look to his member that was now laying relaxed underneath his layer of blanket. 'All hope is lost...'

"Well come now, young love ducks!" he said loudly snapping his fingers. "We get on the road, and we get on the road now!" he looked excitedly between the two faces expecting them to jump up starkers and start getting ready to go.

"Um, right, well d'you think you can give us a little privacy?" spoke Hermione finally finding her voice.

McGruff looked like he didn't even know what the word meant for a second before clapping his hands together and giving them another crazy smirk, "I'll go give a go at waking up the two wood peckers," he finished hurrying off through the grass.

Harry turned around pensively to look at Hermione, "I am so sorry."

She shook her head at him, "It's not your fault Harry. We should have remembered that he would be back."

"Yeah, but you don’t expect the bloke to surprise attack you like this," he said running a hand down her bare arm.

"What a way to ruin the mood, huh?" she asked still a little dazed.

"Oh, you have no idea. I've never just dropped an erection so quickly in my life after seeing that man." he told her rather seriously.

Hermione giggled at his expression before leaning in and giving him a much anticipated kiss. Harry wasted no time in deepening the kiss and slowly they sank back to the ground together, still lip locked.

A loud masculine scream made them break apart, closely followed by, "OI! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"No fear, the energizer-rabbit is here!"

Harry sighed and looked back to Hermione with a wearisome expression.

"I guess we better go help him," said Hermione, beginning to reach around for her clothes.

"Who, Ron or McGruff, because Ron's probably about ready to pound McGruff to a bloody pulp."

...

An hour later found Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and McGruff all packed back inside of his small car speeding down the highway. Harry and Hermione were again in the back of the car holding hands and every so often sending each other small smiles, which only gave a moody Ron something more to grumble about after his awakening that morning. Neville was again seated in the front passenger seat, frequently sending sceptical glances in McGruff's direction and then scooting deeper into the door. McGruff was sitting in the front seat without a care in the world, humming a song that he had no doubt heard from 'Miami Vize' and supporting a bruise looming over his eye.

Well... Ron had to do something about the whole energizer-rabbit wake up call...

The four were pulled out of their own little worlds as the car came screeching to a halt, throwing everyone in the car forward ungracefully.

"We're here!" shouted McGruff, drumming his hands on the driving wheel excitedly.

"Really?" asked Ron dropping his bad mood immediately to look out of the car's yellow window.

"Really, really!" again shouted McGruff. "Listen my little hoppers, I have taken immense delight in driving you, and the getting the gas-o-line for you, and then driving you some more. Now Americans, we shall take separate roads in life... so get your stuff and get out of my car, eh!? I have places to ride and but cheeks to slap!" he finished howling with laughter.

The four looked at him in bewilderment, not even bothering to again correct him about their nationality, before grabbing their bags and climbing out of the car with a muttered 'Thanks'. As soon as Neville closed the door McGruff pressed the gas and took of like thunder down the city street.

The group slowly turned around to look at where they had been left. Ron let a huge smile plaster itself on his face.

A green sign stood proudly on the street across from them: Unter den Linden

They had made it to Berlin. Ron let out a loud whooping sound and picked Neville up, swirling him in the air. Once he had set him down (since Nev was getting rather green in the face) he started digging through his back pack looking for something.

"Ahah!" he said finally, pulling out a thick stack of parchment. "Leigh said in one of her letters that she lives in the flats right across the street from the British Embassy which is like two blocks up from Unter den Linden!"

"Wait, you don't know exactly where she lives?" asked Hermione with a frown.

"Well of course not, if I had I would have flooed here."

"So what are you supposed to do, go around knocking at every flat near the Embassy?"

"No," Ron scoffed, "Only the ones across the street from it."

Hermione sent him a glare as he smiled at her, "Come on Hermione, we came all this way. Can't you just go with me on this?"

"Ron, I really just feel more comfortable thinking-"

'Fine, I didn't want to come to this...' Ron thought. It was time to pull out the big guns. He rolled his eyes at Hermione cutting her off in the middle of her charade and said in the rudest tone he could muster, "For Merlin's sake, Harry, control your damn woman."

All three of his friends’ jaws dropped to the ground. Ron raised his eyebrow, trying to keep a straight defiant face as he continued, "Honestly, this is why women should be kept on a bloody leash. A short leash at that."

"What?" asked Hermione now livid. It didn't take a lot for Hermione to get mad at Ron, however it wasn't everyday he accomplished to see her eyes aflame in fury.

"You heard me, Hermione," he said folding his arms and tilting his head trying to give a more superior look about him.

"No, 'Mi, he was just kidding-" Harry tried in a gentle tone but Hermione had already cut him off.

"THAT'S IT RONALD WEASLEY! YOU'RE DEAD!"

"Oh shit," Ron managed to mutter quietly before turning on his heel and sprinting down the rest of the sidewalk and across the street, Hermione right on his toes. Neville and Harry both shared a rather nervous look before grabbing up their bags and heading after Hermione, which wasn't an easy task seeing that her long legs were carrying her faster and faster down the street towards Ron, who they both could tell was scared out of his wits.

Ron was dashing down Unter den Linden as fast as he could. 'Why does she have to be so bloody fast?' He thought to himself as he took a sharp left taking him down a rubbish strewn alley with a few trash cans scattered here and there. 'Just one more block,' he encouraged himself. He could tell Hermione was gaining in on him and he was already beginning to get cramps in his side. Running was definitely not his favourite thing to do. He cheered to himself as he passed the buildings and again was heading across a major street.

Cars came grinding to a stop as the seen Ron and Hermione and then Harry and Neville, who were a little ways behind them, rush out into the street. The angry 'honks' coming from the cars didn't deter Ron or Hermione for that matter as they continued darting past empty rubbish bins in a new alley. Ron could feel the sweat pouring of his fore head, 'Note to self: never use the big guns on Hermione again. Ever again...'

However, a waving flag had caught his attention at the end of the alley they were quickly coming to the end of. A British flag. Ron smiled, knowing this must be the Embassy they were running past and then across the street must be the complex where Leigh lives. That alone urged him.

With his new spurt of energy he started moving his legs in longer strides, putting much more distance between him and Hermione. After what felt like ages, he had come out of the alley and passed the final street. With a loud 'huff' he doubled over outside a large concrete engraved sign, putting his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

And of course three seconds later he was being tackled and pinned to the ground face first by his rather irate best female friend. She had managed to pull one of his arms painfully behind his back, his other one hanging limply off to the side, and was sitting on him, her knees pressing into his spine, while her other hand was pushing the side of his face into the ground.

"OW!" Ron yelled, but it had no affect on her as she pulled his arm back harder.

"Take it back!" she said fiercely, the fire still evident in her eyes.

"I take it back, I'm sorry!" he shouted as clearly as possible with his head still being pushed into the concrete. By then, Harry and Neville had showed up both out of breath and panting. Harry was trying to gently ease Hermione off of Ron.

"How dare you, Ron, how dare you!" she yelled getting louder with every word.

"Hermione, I didn't mean it, I only said it so you would follow me here!" he again shouted, his words being muffled into the ground.

"What?!" Hermione exclaimed. Neville tapped her on the back and pointed across the street. Her head turned furiously to take in the sight of the British Embassy. Her eyes narrowed, "You tricked me?!" It was a question since Hermione, being the sensible and smart one, was never tricked. End of discussion. Never. Tricked.

Ron smiled into the dirty sidewalk, "Yes, and it felt amazing." Hermione defiantly pulled Ron’s arm back more making him groan.

"Sweetheart, come on," said Harry in a smoothing tone, "he's already suffered enough. He's run two blocks and now you've probably ripped his shoulder out of socket."

"He would deserve it!" she interjected hotly.

"Yes, he would," he said beginning to pet her hair comfortingly, "but he did it out of the sake of love. Love for a woman. Doesn't that make him worthy?"

Hermione smiled at him looking him in the eyes, "No. But you've convinced me all the same."

He gave her his goofy grin before leaning in and pressing his lips to hers. Underneath them, Ron looked appalled, "What? Are you kissing? Hermione, are kissing my best friend? Hermione, I know you're not kissing on top of me-OW!" Hermione had broke the kiss and had pulled on Ron's arm one last time before climbing off him and standing next to Harry, his hand reaching for hers instinctively.

Neville had helped Ron to his feet as he was now stretching his back out with his hands on his hips twisting forward and backward.

"Christ, Hermione," he muttered before finally glancing down between hers and Harry’s bodies at their hands tightly clasped together. He pointed like a child pointing to a tiger at the zoo and said 'ew' rather immaturely.

"Oh, shove it Ron," said Hermione taking a threatening step forward as Harry placed his free hand on her shoulder and both Ron and Neville took a step back from her.

"Anyway," said Ron casually before turning around and looking at the large building, "Oh look we're here!"

Hermione rolled her eyes as she, Harry, and Neville followed an excited Ron through the courtyard and into what seemed to be a very posh and richly decorated main lobby.

"Erm, excuse me," spoke Ron to a blonde man sitting at the front desk equipped in a full tuxedo suit. "I'm looking for a girl... who is supposed to live here... her name’s Leigh..."

The man gave Ron and the three standing behind him a puzzled look. He spoke a sentence in German, which Ron only assumed to be him telling them that he didn't speak English.

"Of course you don't speak English," Ron muttered to himself, his shoulder sagging.

Neville looked sadly at Ron, "Maybe I could-"

"No." said all three at once. Neville took a step back and looked to the ground.

"Thanks Neville, but I just doubt the German you know would work here." said Ron trying to cheer him up.

Neville looked up and shrugged, "I was only trying to help find Leigh."

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help over hearing that you were looking for Leigh, the lovely young lady living in the penthouse with he father, Don?" said a woman with a British accent from behind them. The group all turned to see a middle aged woman with brown mousy hair and bright blue eyes.

"Yeah!" voiced Ron, "You know her?"

"Well I just said I knew her, silly boy. Though, I haven't heard many people refer to her as that."

Hermione quirked a quizzical eyebrow at that. As she was about to ask her what she had meant Ron interrupted her, "Where'd you say she lived?"

"The pent house sweet, boy. It's on the top floor. Take the elevator, there," she finished pointing to two shiny silver doors firmly pressed together.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" said Ron as he turned immediately and took of for the lift. Hermione muttered her own 'Thanks' to the woman before following Ron, pulling Harry and Neville behind her.

"How do you open this thing?" Ron was muttering as the three came up to him. He was standing very close to the silver doors, trying to pry them open with his fingers.

"Uh, Ron." said Harry in amused tone. Ron looked at him about to give him the 'I don't have time' speech when Harry pointed to a small button on the wall and pressed it. There was a small 'ding' and the two silver doors separated, opening to reveal a quaint little compartment.

"Oh," said Ron, poking his head in to take a little look around. "So this is the p-"

"This is the elevator Ron," said Neville smiling.

"Oh, right. So, uh..." Ron voiced, preparing himself to take a step in.

"Oh, Ron wait!" called Hermione just as he had raised his foot.

"What?"

"I can't let you go up there looking like that." she said stepping forward and taming his hair with her fingers and pulling on the collar of his shirt. "Okay," she said patting his chest and giving him a reassuring smile.

He smiled back, "Alright, wish me luck."

"Good luck," chorused the other three as Ron took a step into the elevator. He turned around to give them one last smile and saw Harry give him the thumbs up and Hermione looking at something on the wall with a shocked expression before the two silver doors clanged together.

As soon as the doors had shut Hermione nudged both Harry and Neville in the side and pointed to the little bronze plate of suites and the last names of the owners. Both their eyes widened as they read the last name that was scrawled next to pent house suite.

Meanwhile Ron had been waiting in the same position for a few moments with his hands clasped behind his back. A few moments later he began bouncing on the balls of his feet and looking around the cabin. 'So... when exactly am I going to get to the pent house?'

On the other side of the doors Harry, Hermione, and Neville were sharing amused grins, both because of the realisation who he was going to see and also waiting for Ron to realise that he wasn't moving anywhere.

"Uh Hermione?" he called ten seconds later.

She smirked, "Press the 'P' button on the front panel, Ron."

"Um," he said looking around and noticing a fancy bronze panel. Sure enough the first button at the top had a shiny gold P engraved on it. "Right, gotcha." He pressed it and seconds later he felt the compartment jolt into life and began carrying him upward, "Wicked," he breathed with his hands placed cautiously out at his sides.

There was another small 'ding' and the doors opened revealing a lavish hallway which lead to a single door at the end.

He slowly started making his way for the door. As he reached the door, he paused, bracing himself for what was behind that door- for whom was behind that door. He stood there taking deep breath after deep breath. Right when raised his hand to knock he heard a familiar 'ding' and turned around to see Harry, Neville, and Hermione exit off the elevator. Ron started shaking his head in confusion as Harry came up and clapped him on the back, "We came all this way, mate. We're not gonna miss this," he said as if it were the most obvious conclusion in the world. He smiled as his friends gathered around him.

Finally taking one last deep breath he raised his fist an knocked on the door.

They waited a few moments before they heard soft foot steps approaching from the other side and the door knob turn.

It opened to reveal a very old and fragile looking woman in a black and white maid uniform. Harry smirked at Ron, "And there is the love of your life, mate."

Ron elbowed in the stomach and turned back to see the woman who was giving Harry a once-over, "Um, Hi I'm here to see Leigh." The elderly woman just continued to glare at the teens.

Ron cleared his throat, ready to repeat himself when an middle-aged man with greying blonde hair came up to the door and practically screamed in woman's ear "Ich habe es, du kann gehen!"<I've got it, you may go.> As soon as the old lady was out of sight, the man (who Ron assumed to be Leigh's father, Don) turned to look at the kids, his eyes widening when he looked to Harry. "How may I help you lot?"

"Hi sir, I'm Ron, a friend of Leigh's. We were wondering if she was home?"

The man's eyebrows raised when Ron said 'Leigh'. "I'm afraid Leigh's not home."

"Do you know when she'll be back?" Ron asked, a worried expression starting to form on his face.

"I'm afraid she's gone for the summer. She took a muggle university program, where they go from great city to great city visiting museums and old churches and such." He noticed Ron looked completely crest fallen and decided to tell him a little more, "She was supposed to be going back London to visit some friends for the summer but she suddenly decided not to and she wouldn't tell me why."

"I think I might know why," muttered Ron, suddenly very ashamed of himself.

"You know she leaves from Rome tomorrow for Tokyo and from there she will be quite unreachable."

Ron looked up into Don's eyes and nodded solemnly, "Well thank you for the information sir, we'll just be on our way."

Don nodded and before closing the door told him, "Cheer up sonny, you'll have your happy ending soon enough, I reckon."

...

Harry, Hermione and Ron were seated out in the courtyard on an elevated flower box. Neville had excused himself saying he had to use the loo.

"You tried your best Ron." tried Hermione, offering him an encouraging smile.

He took a deep breath staring at a meaningless spot on the ground, "She leaves for Tokyo tomorrow and then she's gone, probably go off and find some other bloke, and totally forget about me."

"So it's over, just like that?" asked Harry quietly from his spot next to Hermione.

"What else is there for us to do? It's not like we can floo or apparate cross-country-"

"No, but we can board a muggle air plane and be in Rome by 9 a.m. tomorrow morning." said Neville coming up in front of the trio and throwing a brown paper bag in Ron's lap.

"What's this?" asked Ron opening the sack.

"About 900 euro." said Neville, modestly shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Where'd you get that?" asked Hermione in amazement as Ron and Harry began to thumb through the notes.

Neville shrugged his shoulder, "I had a galleon stuffed in my shoe from a while ago. I told the antique shop across the street it was ancient Aztec gold and they believed me. Bought it off me for 900 euro."

The trio were staring at him in shock. 'Neville, doing something clever... that was something to be shocked about'

"Neville do you have any idea what you've just done?" asked Ron in a serious tone.

"Uh..." Neville stuttered. 'Had he done something wrong. Figures... that's what he gets for being brave and spontaneous...'

"Nev, you just gave me another shot at getting the girl of my dreams," he finished in a now much more sincere and kinder tone. The trio stared up at him in silence with smiles on their faces, idolizing him for once in their lives.

"Well let's go! Krammer says you're supposed to check in an hour early for any international flight!" he finished quickly as Ron jumped up and grabbed his face.

"I'm naming my first child after you," he said before kissing his forehead and taking a step back gathering his bags but not breaking eye contact, "We're going to Rome!"

Hermione flung herself at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and Harry gave him a congratulatory punch on the shoulder, both taking of after Ron who was heading in the direction of the street to hail a taxi.

"Ow," breathed Neville grabbing his now aching shoulder and staring after his friends with a smile on his face. 'Wow, this bravery thing feels good...' he thought before picking up his bag and slinging it over the shoulder that didn't feel like it was about to fall off and running down the street to catch up with his friends.

…

For those of you who don't know Unter den Linden is a famous boulevard in Berlin with loads of important buildings and other boring stuff like that. So, my dear readers, I hate to say that their will be only one more chapter to go. I’m sad to finish, since this will be my first completed fan fic, so obviously I’m a little reluctant to let it go.

So I leave you with this: ANY IDEAS FOR AN EPILOGUE?!

14. The End is Near

Disclaimer: Don‘t own anything.

Harry Doesn‘t Know

Chapter 14: The End is Near

…

"Alright, let's split up and see if we can go find some information on where they'd be," said Ron looking around at the crowds of people that were going about their business on the busy Roman streets.

"Okay," Neville said taking out his guide book, "Alright Harry and Hermione, you guys can go search around the Vatican. Ron and I will go through Trajan's Column. Agreed?"

"Agreed." they said together. Harry took Hermione's hand and started to walk to the left. With one last "Be careful" from Hermione, they were gone roaming through the crowds.

"Where is this place Neville?" asked Ron, tightening the straps of his knapsack and squinting through the crowds, looking for an easy way out.

"Um, we can take this alley here," Neville pointed to two towering buildings with a thin alleyway running between it, "And then it should be just beyond the next street.”

"Alright let's go." Ron helped nudge Neville along through the mass of people. He could tell the close proximity of all these people were making him frantic.

"Breathe Neville, we're out," Ron said checking if any on coming traffic were driving his way before crossing the street.

Neville gulped, "Sorry I just have minor panic attacks sometimes." He cupped his hands over his ears and took three long breaths.

Ron laughed, "Alright there pal?"

Neville gulped again, "I knew I should have brought my inhaler."

Ron starting laughing once again making Neville's mouth twitch into a smile, "Oh Neville, you poor sod. The ladies must love you. So sensitive and fragile..."

"Hey! I'll have you know that Gabby thinks all my insecurities are really cute. And my fragileness."

"You and Fluer's sister, huh? You never told us how that went." Ron shook his eyebrows at him suggestively.

Neville turned red and looked down. Ron could tell he had a modest smile on his face, "Let's just say there was a desperate need for my inhaler afterwards..."

Ron chortled trying to keep under control, "You dog, you! Oh, I bet Gabby loved that..."

"Yeah... It was more calm the second time-"

"What! Neville! Are you kidding me?!" Ron wore a proud grin on his face as they kept walking farther down the alley.

Neville nodded timidly, "Why do you think I didn't come back until morning?"

"Neville, I- I don't know what to say... except that I am so proud of you mate," he finished clapping Neville on the back.

"Really?" Neville asked giving Ron an incredulous look.

"Yeah really! Back to Gabby though- was it her first time?"

Neville's face contorted into a wondrous look, "I don't think so... but then again we didn't really talk about that, it just sort of... happened. But isn't it supposed to hurt their first time?"

"Yeah. Maybe Gabby was just a trooper and sucked up the pain. I remember my first time with Lavender she just kept... I guess it was moaning but it was more like- AHHHHH!!!"

Three men walked out of a metal door that had just been slammed open in Ron's face. The men’s’ heads started looking around for the source of loud groaning.

"Do you 'ear something?" asked one of the men with spiked black hair and cigarette hanging limp from his long fingers. The two other tall men with metal chains hanging from their pants and skin tight leather vests shook their head.

"Ohhh, my face..." groaned Ron from the ground.

The first man turned around quickly and grimaced as he seen Ron on the ground clutching his nose with blood oozing out the sides. Neville had bent down to try and help Ron up.

"Ooh, that does not look pleasant," said the man putting his cigarette in his mouth so he could reach in his own vest for something. He pulled out a what looked like a tissue, but it was torn and there were yellow stains all over it so you couldn't be sure. "'Ere my friend, take this- it'll help."

Ron gave a disgusted looked at the man but Neville grabbed it and shoved it in his face causing him to groan again.

"Oh that's really nauseating man," he said in a thick Italian accent.

"Can you help him up," asked Neville tugging at one of Ron's arms. The man snapped his fingers and his two friends stepped forward to help Ron sit on a nearby crate.

"Those metal doors... they can be a real bitch, 'ey?" The man tried to laugh but let out a repulsive breath as Ron turned around and vomited behind the crates. "Ooh, he doesn't look so good," he said slowly looking over to Neville.

"Well his face was just slammed in by a metal door and the bones of his nose are probably swirling around his nasal cavity right now."

"'Ey, are you trying to say this is my fault man!" he ran a hand through his spiked black hair and started stalking back in forth in front of Neville, taking wild puffs from his cigarette and then pointing at Neville, "This isn't my fault man, 'ow was I supposed to know sasquatch here was gonna be walking by my door at ze exact moment I was to come out, 'ey?!"

"No, I-I didn't-"

The man paused Neville by holding up his hands, suddenly very calm, "Okay- I'm sorry, I overreacted," he put his cigarette back in his mouth and smiled an eerily wide smile at Neville, "'Ey this can be solved. Without ze police! We are friends, no? My name is Eli, and you are?"

"Er- Neville." he stuttered surprised by Eli's sudden hostility turned to friendliness.

"And zis is?" he asked pointing his cigarette towards Ron.

Ron groaned and leant back over the crate to throw up again. Neville frowned and patted Ron's back. "Ron."

"Wonderful- this is Ricci and Toni-"

They were interrupted again by Ron's retching. Neville sighed, "He probably has a concussion. We should get him to the hospital-"

"Hospitals wospitals- what are they good for?"

Neville was about to answer when Eli shouted louder than necessary, "NOTHING! We can help man, and we can help him right now," Eli nudged Toni and Toni passed over a bag of small objects.

He took out a few pills from the plastic bag and then took out a handsome black flask from his vest, "Here we go Ron, swallow these and you'll be all better! No more pain!"

Neville gave Eli an incredulous look but Ron was too out of it to care. With a shaking hand he grabbed the three pills and shoved them in his bloodied mouth followed by a swig of his flask. Whatever the contents of the flask was, it didn't make Ron feel any better. He groaned in pain as the liquid and pills burned its way down his throat.

"What exactly did you give him?" asked Neville loudly making a grab for the flask and bring it to his nose to smell. He gasped in shock as the familiar smell of alcohol burnt through his nostrils. Before he could say anything a fist came flying at of nowhere and connected with his cheek.

"Oof!" sounded Neville as he fell to the ground.

"'Ey man I gave him medicine! I'm just trying to be a good guy and help your sasquatch friend out! And this is what I get! Are you accusing me of something man?!"

"I- oof!" he screamed as a foot kicked his stomach.

"I didn't give him drugs! I ‘elped him- now ‘e won't feel pain!" Eli was still ranting in the middle of the alley as both Ron and Neville continued to groan. After a few moments Ricci grabbed him,

"We're attracting people!" he said pointing towards the opening of the alley.

Eli took a calm breath and then bent down to grab Neville's mouth, "We were never here, understand?"

Neville nodded and Eli smiled standing up, "Good!" he said brightly walking backwards toward the other opening of the alley, "Have a nice day and enjoy Rome, 'ey? It's a great family place," he finished running off with his friends.

Neville moaned again as he grabbed his stomach and tried to pull himself up to check on Ron with his other arm. Sitting on his knees, he touched Ron on the shoulder. He looked up at him with bleary blue eyes and a small hopeful smile on his face. It would have been cute if he didn't have blood running down from a small cut on his forehead, his nose, and his mouth which all dripped down into a thick red line on his white shirt.

"Ron, are you alright?" Neville asked cautiously.

Ron scowled a bit confused at him. It was a few seconds later when he smiled and let out a giggle.

"Oh no..."

"Ron! Neville!" shouted Hermione from a ways down the alley.

Neville lifted up a hand to motion for her and Harry to hurry up.

"Nev, what's the- oh my god!" said Hermione clapping a hand over her mouth to stop from screaming. She knelt down beside Ron and stared at him with scared eyes.

"What the hell happened to him?" asked Harry franticly also kneeling down next to him. Ron was sitting there peacefully, with his eyes closed and blood still dribbling from his nose.

"Ron," said Hermione quietly, "Ron, can you hear me?"

Ron opened his blue eyes a bitter wider than a normal person and stared straight at her.

"Ron, who did this to you mate?" He turned his eyes to stare at Harry, remaining silent.

"Some guys came through this metal door and it smacked Ron pretty hard in the face. His nose is definitely broken, and he might have a concussion because he threw up a few times," Neville said also rubbing his cheek.

Hermione pulled out her wand from the knapsack, "I can fix his nose, but I don't have a potion for the pain," she said a bit despondently. "Episkey," she said effectively tapping her wand softly to the bridge of Ron's nose.

Ron let out another girlish giggle much like Umbridge as his nose reconciled. Harry and Hermione looked at each other befuddled before looking up at Neville. Hermione then whispered a cleaning spell over Ron's face and clothes to get rid of the blood.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Nev?" asked Harry turning to look back at Ron who had caught his lip between his teeth and was rolling his eyes back and forth like it was a fun game.

"Um, well- the guys that hit him... Eli was his name... he-he-"

"Neville, get to the point."

Neville gulped, "He gave Ron some pills, followed by a shot of alcohol."

"WHAT?!" Harry and Hermione shouted at the same time.

Neville nodded, "Yeah..."

"Those pills could have been anything!" said Hermione looking back at Ron who was blowing little bubbles with his gooped up saliva. "God what is she going think?"

Neville looked up," What? You mean you found L-"

"Yeah," said Harry looking back to Ron with an amused grin on his face.

"Harry, this isn't funny. We've come all this way and now he's basically high!"

"What do you think those pills were?" asked Harry.

"Probably ecstasy-"

"Ecstasy?" asked Neville with a curious tilt of his head.

"It's a muggle drug-"

"Hermione!" said Ron suddenly.

Hermione looked down to Ron who was looking at her like he had never seen her before. She bent down so he could talk to her, "Yes Ron?"

"Hermione..." he said emotionally, "Your eyes..." he grabbed Hermione's hand and continued to stare into her eyes. Harry shared an uncomfortable look with Neville.

"What about my eyes, Ron?"

"They're like... they remind me of cookies," he said simply.

Hermione shook her head completely puzzled, "What, Ron?"

"You're eyes look like cookies," he then laughed, "Hermione I want to eat your eyes!"

"Bloody hell," she muttered as Harry and Neville started chuckling. She turned back to glare at them, "This is NOT funny. What are we going to do with him? She's only here for today, and she'll probably only be at the Vatican for another half hour..."

"Alright, let's just relax," said Harry stepping forward. "Now Ron, you still want to go see Leigh, right?"

Ron gasped, "Yeah..."

"Okay then, we found her! Now you just have to cooperate with us so we can get you to her, alright mate?" he said as if he was talking to a small child.

"How's my hair look?" asked Ron as Neville and Harry helped him to his feet.

"It looks great Ron," said Harry supporting half of Ron's weight.

Ron scoffed, "Yeah compared to yours." Harry scowled at him as Ron continued, "Hermione, how does my hair look?"

"It's perfect Ron, she'll love it."

"Good, that's good. So where is she?"

"You see that big building across the street?" asked Harry pointing, "That's called the Vatican. Her group is touring through there right now."

Ron turned to look at Harry like he had never seen him before, "You're such a good friend Harry, I love you," he leant his head over Harry's.

Harry gave Hermione a worried glance. She shrugged back in response and cleared the way so they could cross the street.

"I wonder if she'll have big honkers," said Ron.

"Big what?" asked Neville perplexed as they tugged Ron across the street.

"You know..." Ron gave Harry and Neville a look, "Big hoooonnnkers," he said emphasizing the word by holding out both hands a ways away from his chest.

Hermione gave him a disgusted look, "You know Ron you're lucky you're not in your right state of mind right now, otherwise your nose would be broken again."

Ron gasped and held a hand to his nose, "Anywhere but the face- I'm about to go see the love of my life, I don't want to look like a sasquatch."

"You don't look like a sasquatch Ron," Hermione said a bit desperately as she led them through the crowd. She stopped at another crosswalk and allowed the traffic to pass.

Ron held a hand up to her cheek when they finally caught up with her.

Harry looked like he was quickly losing his patience, "Ron, what the hell are you doing?"

Ron innocently looked back to Harry to see him on the edge of loosing it and then looked back to Hermione. He smiled and let go of her face, letting Harry pull her back into him.

"Sorry, I-" Ron started smiling and shaking his head back and forth, "It just feels so good. You have really soft skin Hermione," he looked back up at her who was giving him an appalled look.

"Ron-" Hermione began but he cut her off.

"OOH green light!" he exclaimed excitedly running across the street.

"This isn't gonna be good," muttered Neville as they took off after him.

---

"This line's too busy. I seen another entrance a bit back there, we should go there," said Harry, examining the large line running out of the Vatican's entrance.

"Yeah, you're right Harry. Come on Ron, we're going in through another entrance," said Hermione loudly in Ron's ear.

Ron jerked into awareness and looked around with wide eyes, "Sweeet," he said allowing Harry and Hermione to grab his arms and lead the way into another alley.

"Look, here it is," said Neville as the broke away from the crowded entrance and into the side alley. Sure enough, a big orange sign that said 'Musei Vaticani' stood in front of two open oak doors with two guards in front dressed in ridiculously bright robes, holding long spears.

"Alright, Ron act normal," whispered Harry as they approached the guards.

"What?" whispered Ron back, "What do you mean?"

"Don't act like you’re wasted!" Harry said with an urgent tone.

Ron started snorting with laughter, "Wasted..."

"Bloody hell," Hermione, Harry, and Neville said together as they tried to walk nonchalantly past the guards.

They were a foot step away from entering when the two guards brought their spears down in a swift motion, stopping them from going any further. The group jumped back as it happened.

"Arrestar, nessun’entratar. This entrance is for private tour groups only," the guard on the right said in an accented and annoyed tone.

Harry and Hermione gave each other suspenseful looks.

"Oh, but, um, we ARE a private tour group," said Hermione finally, stepping forward, "We've come all the way from England," she said with an eager nod like it was the coolest thing in the world.

After a few moments of the guard staying silent Hermione launched back into speech. "Um," she sounded looking back to see Ron tittering up and down.

"Harry I need a potty break..." tried Ron but Harry just shushed him.

Hermione looked back at the guard with a new found confidence, "You see we're from the Bedlam Hospital. It‘s a psychiatric hospital in London; the bloke with the red hair is mentally retarded."

The guard gave her a look before glancing past her to see Ron now jumping up and down with his hands clasped over his crotch. "Si, I can tell... how very, very sad..." the guard muttered with remorse.

Hermione also look back at Ron, then turned back with a pitied look, "Yes, yes it is."

The guard seemed to regain composure and straightened his posture, "But if you are a tour then where is your guide?"

Hermione seemed to brighten up, "Oh we have a fantastic tour guide!" she turned back and grabbed Neville's hands and pulled him forward, "Right here!"

Neville looked completely scared and tried to protest but Hermione shut him up by mumbling over him and pushing him closer to the guard. He looked up at the man towering down at him with a stern glare, "Um, hi."

"Well?" the guard said impatiently.

"Well?" Neville squeaked nervously. He heard Harry clear his throat loudly behind him, "Right, well... the um... the Vatican, has been used as a papal residence ever since the time of emperor Constantine the Great in the fifth century A.D.!" he finished excitedly turning around to smile at his friends. He turned back to the guard and gave him a questioning look, asking for admittance.

The guard continued to give Neville a strange look before raising his spear, "Very well, potete entrare.”

"Oh," squeaked Neville excitedly. He turned back around and cleared his throat, "Now if you'll all follow me please." Hermione smiled at the guards as she and Neville entered the Vatican followed by Harry.

Ron (who still had both hands clasped over his crotch) was stopped by the first guard. He put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to speak slowly, "Have a very special day, for a very special little man," he finished with a wink.

Ron wasn't paying attention though. His eyes were locked on the man's front where a long gold chain resided above the silky material of his robes. Ron brought a hand up from his crotch to rub it down the front of the guard's uniform.

"Nice," Ron whispered as the guard's face contorted into one of revulsion. Ron was about to bring his other hand up to swipe over the guard's face when Harry came rushing back to him.

"Ron, no!" Harry said struggling to grab Ron's arm and throw him into the building. Harry looked back at the guard and shrugged, trying to muster a smile, "He- he's you know... a little..." Harry brought a finger up to tap against his forehead and then hurried back inside to stop Ron from licking a statue.

"Oh Ron put that away!" cried Hermione urgently slapping a hand over his mouth to keep his tongue from flying around everywhere.

Ron replied some muffled words that went by unnoticed by Hermione.

"Oh Ron, you have to pull yourself together! Do it for Leigh!"

"Where?!" shouted Ron, spinning around trying to get a glimpse of her.

"No Ron," said Harry, catching his arms in a tight grip so Ron couldn't move away, "What she's trying to say is that Leigh is here somewhere and that you have to put yourself in order, or she's not going to give you the time of day."

Ron looked at him with wide, tear-filled eyes, "Am I blowing it?"

"No Ron, not yet," Harry responded tapping his shoulder.

"You're such a good mate, Harry," Ron said emotionally. Harry didn't have time to move out of the way before Ron launched at him and clung to him with dear life.

"Um, Ron..."

"I love you, Harry," Ron sniffed.

"Ron... come on people are staring..."

"As touching as this is boys, we need to hurry up and find her," said Hermione with a bossy tone.

Harry finally pushed Ron away and straightened out his clothes. "Alright I'm pretty sure they were up on the second floor when we seen her," muttered Harry as he grabbed Ron's arm to pull him forward. They were walking peacefully up a few flights of stairs when Ron spoke,

"Wait a second... how do you two even know what she looks like? I don't even know what she looks like," he said a bit miffed. You could tell by his speech that the drugs were really starting to kick into full affect.

"Shit," whispered Harry, sparing a desperate glance at Hermione.

"Um, remember Ron, you showed us that picture of her a few days before graduation?" said Hermione hoping Ron would just forget about it.

"Nu-uh... I never even had a picture of her..."

"Yeah you did Ron, remember? You were showing it off to Seamus and me," spoke Neville, trying to keep his tone convincing.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah!" said Neville with a smile.

"Huh..." said Ron turning his head to stare absently in front of him. "Well does she have big honkers?" he directed the question to Hermione who glared at him while smacking him over the head.

"OW!" he screamed clutching at his head. People from around the museum turned to find the source of the loud and echoing noise.

Hermione laughed innocently, "Sorry, he's just a bit..." Harry tapped two fingers to his forehead for her and that seemed to be enough for the people. They turned back around and resumed what they were doing.

"It hurts so bad," Ron moaned clutching his head.

"Ron, honestly, shut up and walk," Hermione said sternly pushing him up the last step of the staircase. “If you’re good I’ll give you a gumball.”

Ron’s head snapped up, “Ooh, what’s that?” he asked excitedly.

“The greatest things on earth,” said Hermione seriously.

"Alright, come on I think they went this way," said Neville motioning for them to go down a corridor. They walked until the halls became extremely quiet and they came upon two different doors with a long rope in a glass case in between them.

"Which way did they go, Nev?" asked Harry.

"Hey what's this?" asked Ron enthusiastically, opening up the glass case and tugging on the rope.

"It's nothing Ron," said Hermione slapping his hand away.

"Nev, which way?" Harry asked again a tad impatient.

"This way," Neville said pointing towards the door on the right, "I'd stake my reputation on it."

Harry shared a look with Hermione before saying, "Okay then we'll go through this one," he finished opening the door on the left and walking through it.

"They've got loads of old stuff here," Ron said with a giggle. They all passed through the door as a faint bell was sounded off into the distance, causing the people of Rome to stop in shock.

"Dio mio," said a local man stopping to look up at the Vatican. "The bell of San Marco... the pope is dead!"

"Oooh," said Ron as they burst through an old oak door. The four spilled into the room, silently taking in the beauty of their surroundings.

"We should go, there not here and we're definitely not supposed to be- Ron stop rubbing my hair!" Hermione said turning around. Ron's arms snapped back to his side and he tried to restrain his giggles as his eyes roamed innocently over the room.

Harry sighed in annoyance, "This is getting fucking rid- OW!"

"You can't curse in here," hissed Hermione.

"Oh shit, you're right," Harry said playfully. Hermione hit him again.

"Fuck! I should stop huh?" Harry teased as Hermione raised her hand to swat him again. He grabbed it just as it was about to connect with his arm and pulled her in to him to kiss her. Hermione smiled into the kiss and wrapped her other arm around Harry's neck.

"GROSS!" Ron shouted over his shoulder. Harry and Hermione broke apart and rolled their eyes at Ron.

"Later," Hermione whispered in his ear making Harry smile and kiss her cheek.

"Hey check it out!" Ron said excitedly making Harry, Hermione, and Neville turn around cautiously.

"I'm the Pope!" he said raising his hands above his head which was sporting a tall white hat.

Harry and Neville sniggered while Hermione glared at him, "Ron, take off the Pope hat," she spoke with a calm fury.

"Oh it's okay Hermione, I'm Catholic-"

"Ron, no you're not." laughed Harry.

"True," he said swaying slightly, "But I could be."

"Ron take it off god damnit!"

Ron gasped as Hermione groaned, "Ooh, you took the Lord's name in vain! You're going straight to hell!" he said mockingly.

"Ron take it off," Hermione growled charging at him. Ron moved behind the table as a barrier and started taunting her.

"I'm gonna kill you, Ron!" shouted Hermione, running around the table trying to reach him.

"Hermione, sweetheart, calm down," said Harry trying to grab her around the waist as she ran by him. She effectively stepped on his toes and continued on her chase after Ron.

He was now hiding behind a dummy doll that was wearing glamorous silk robes. "Which way am I going?" he taunted, trying to fake her out by shoving the doll every which way. The last shove he pushed the doll too forcefully and it went toppling over, leaving Ron nothing to hide behind.

"Harry, take it," he said as he lifted the hat off his own head and plopped it on Harry's as he ran past.

Harry's hand went up to readjust the hat as Hermione stopped in front of him panting slightly, "Harry James Potter, put the hat down."

Harry grinned at her, "And, uh, what do you think you're gonna do if I don't?" he asked arrogantly.

"No more sex."

"What?!"

"WHAT?!" Ron was glancing between them with the widest eyes he could muster. "S-sse-"

"Yes sex, and we'll never shag again if you don't put it down." she said coldly, now folding her arms over her chest. Harry looked at Ron and Neville for support but Neville was off busying himself in a corner and Ron looked like he was about to hyper-ventilate.

Harry looked back to her and gave her a hard look, "You're bluffing."

Hermione scoffed, "I'm bluffing?"

"Yeah, I don't believe you," he folding his arms and leaned his head back pompously.

They stared at each other for a few moments before Hermione's face twisted into an alarmed look, "Harry-"

"See, I told you. You couldn't hold out on me."

"No, Harry the hat-"

"Yeah, not gonna work," said Harry still smiling arrogantly at her.

"Harry the hat's on fire!" she exclaimed pointing a hand up to the hat.

"Sure," Harry said sarcastically, "The hat's on fire... you're on fire," he finished sending a wink at her.

"Oooh, pretty," said Ron pointing a happy finger also at Harry's hat.

"No Harry, I'm serious," Hermione stepped forward and yanked his arm so he would step in front of the mirror.

Harry's eyes widened as he seen the bright flame burning it's way down the hat, "Oh- holy shit!" he shouted immediately taking it off. "What do I do with it?"

"I don't know!" replied Hermione anxiously.

"Neville take it!" Harry said shoving it at Neville.

"What do you want me to do with a burning Pope hat?!"

"Fireplace! Throw it in the fireplace!" shouted Hermione flinging a hand toward right side of the room. Neville ran over and dumped the hat in there right as it burst into large amber flames with smoke billowing everywhere.

"Oooh," giggled Ron clapping his hands together as a thick smoke filled the room.

"We need to get out of here," said Harry grabbing Hermione and pulling her into him.

"Where's the door?" coughed Neville.

"Here! Let's go," shouted Harry through the smoke as he pushed the door opened and ran into the hall with Hermione. Neville was quickly to follow leaving Ron in the room stumbling around and giggling.

Outside the Vatican the crowds of Romans started cheering as the seen white smoke being emitted through the chimney.

"They've elected the new pope!" shouted the local from before.

Back in the room Ron was struggling to open a window to breathe. He ran into it straight on and got tangled up into the long drapes.

"Hey! Stupid curtain- I'll kill you I swear-" he felt a long poll drop onto his head, along with the slack of the curtains falling. Finally he pushed through the window and stumbled out onto the balcony to take a few gulps of breath. As he push the curtains over his head and grabbed onto the pole for stability he was able to take a look at his surroundings.

And he was met with awed and cheering faces of thousands of people, eagerly taking photos and clapping him on.

Ron stood there for a moment with wide wondrous eyes. After a moment he started to giggle and bob his head up and down, "Hey, hey, hey..." He waved at the crowd making them cheer harder and him laugh harder.

"Okay, okay," he said after a few minutes of people ogling at him. He raised his hands up for silence and the crowds obeyed.

He cleared his throat and spoke, "So um, how's everyone doing? Great day isn't it?"

The people below looked at their peers completely confused before starting to cheer again.

"That's right cheer for me- I am the almighty Weasley! I will-"

"You! STOP!" shouted an Italian accented voice from behind Ron. He turned to see three large guards running through the room trying to get to him.

"Bloody hell," Ron whispered frantically, throwing the staff down and starting to untangle himself from the golden curtains.

Whispers enveloped the crowd as Ron continued to undress the drapes. "Is he getting naked?" asked one Italian. "Ooh, I hope so," her peer whispered back raising her binoculars to her eyes.

"Young man, STOP!" the guards repeated as Ron finally broke free. He looked to his right and noticed a large curtain running all the way down the building. Looking down at the crowd and then back to the guards, he took a large leap and clutched onto the banner.

He slid rather quickly down the side of the building and tumbled off at the end. People quickly surrounded him and helped him to his feet.

"Ron!" shouted Hermione hurrying up to him. "Ron, are you alright?"

"Yeah- my arse is just really, really throbbing right now... but I'll be fine." he said as his hands ran over his bum repeatedly.

"That was the stupidest-"

"Coolest-" Harry and Neville cut in.

"Stupidest thing you've ever done!" Hermione finished giving him a stern glare.

"Leigh! Leigh, is she still here?" Ron asked looking throughout the crowd. One group in particular looked back at one of their members.

"YOU, STOP!" shouted a guard hysterically running up to the four of them. Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Ron were quickly surrounded by six bodyguards all in their ridiculous get ups. Ron smiled and reached out to touch the man's gold chain again.

"No, stop!" he said swatting his hand away. Ron cowered back with a hurt expression, grabbing his hand. The guard continued, "You, and your retarded friend... you're all in very, very deep trouble."

"Trouble!" shouted another voice coming to stand next to Ron. The familiar man with his leather vest and spiked black hair glared at the guard and took another drag of his cigarette.

Neville gasped, "Eli!"

Eli turned to wink at Neville, "Toni, Ricci- I think these men are insinuating that our friends did something wrong."

"Stupid men," said Ricci flinging his cigarette bud at the front guard.

"Don't worry. We'll talk it over, right boys?" said Toni, the bulkier of the three, stepping forward in front of the four friends.

Toni and Ricci continued to advance on the guards but Eli turned around and smiled at Neville and Ron, "Feeling better?" he asked brightly.

Neville sighed and Ron nodded his head, "I'm having a few pains here and there but ultimately I'm alright. Hermione fixed me up pretty well." he said nodding over to Hermione.

Eli looked over and smiled, "Ooh, mama mia."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him and Harry took a step to stand in front of her for protection.

Ron sighed, "Now all that's left is-"

"Ronald?" said a dreamy feminine voice from behind them.

Ron spun around to look at the girl standing behind him and his jaw dropped.

---

Okay, Okay- I know many of you want to strangle me right now… but hey! A chapter’s a chapter! I’m not to sure how well this was beta’d since it was beta’d by me. I sent this to my beta last Friday and haven’t had anything back which is kind of depressing and why I’m uploading tonight. You’ll get the final chapter Sunday for sure.

15. The End is Here

Disclaimer: Don‘t own anything.

Harry Doesn‘t Know

Chapter 14: The End’s Not Near… It’s Here

…

"L-loony?" Luna Lovegood stood there in a thin yellow sundress with a long silver chain hanging around her neck and a purple flower of some kind sitting behind her ear.

She nodded, "What are you doing here?" she asked glancing him up and down as Ron did the same to her.

"I- um, err..." 'God look how hot she is. Bloody hell she's all grown up.'

Luna continued to stare at him as he continued to stutter.

"Leigh..." Hermione trailed off hoping to give Ron a boost.

"Oh, right, I'm uh- looking for Leigh." Ron said with a confident nod. A small grin appeared on Luna's face. "Yeah see she's kinda my girlfriend but then I sent off a letter when I was piss drunk telling her to leave my genitals alone-" The crowd 'ooh'd in sympathy- "Yeah, it was pretty bad. So then we," he motioned back to Harry, Hermione, and Neville who all gave Luna triumphant grins, "pretty much have been all over Europe- getting drunk with footballers then getting high in Amsterdam... Neville finally lost his virginity and Harry and Hermione finally got together and now their shagging on a regular basis-"

"Getting off track mate," Harry said, pulling Hermione closer as Eli turned to her and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Right, anyways... it was all so I could find her and tell her that I love her and that she can do whatever she wants to my genitals..." Ron finished taking a deep breath and looking back at Luna. She was wearing a weak smile as she stared intently at Ron. "So what are doing here?" he asked after a while.

"Oh, I'm with a summer program taking a tour here." Luna said nodding back to a group of people.

"Oh that's lovely. Leigh was doing that too," Ron said nodding. "Speaking of Leigh we should probably go find her," he said turning back to Harry, Neville, and Hermione.

"Um, Ron I think you've found her," said Harry quietly smiling over at Luna.

Ron gasped, "Really? Does my hair look alright?"

"You're hair looks fine Ronald," Luna chimed in.

Ron turned back to her, "Oh thanks, Luna-" Ron stopped and became very quiet. "Wait a minute..." He looked at her and then laughed, "No..."

"Is something wrong?" Luna asked hesitantly.

Ron shook his head, "Her name is Leigh-"

"Yes. I admit I was a little nervous a few days before I left for Berlin so daddy bought a Wily Orkid raccoon," Ron and everyone else around her gave her a weird and confused look. "If you rub it in it's ticklish spot it'll emit the sound of your good luck charm. And this one gave out the name-"

"Leigh," whispered Ron in shock.

"Yes." Luna nodded waiting for Ron to make the next move.

"So, you're the one I've been writing to this whole time? The one I've been spilling my heart to... the one I fell in love with," he asked pointing a finger at her.

"Well, I didn't know you would fall in love with me..." Luna trailed off.

"Wait so, you don't love me back?" Ron asked sadly.

"Don't you see Ron! That's why she signed the letters with her good luck charm; she hoped you would return her feelings!" told Hermione exasperatedly from behind him.

"Oh."

"You're very intelligent Hermione," Luna said.

"I know."

"So... it's you." Ron said again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me again," said Luna dejectedly, ready to turn and walk away.

"Well… wait!" Luna turned back around and the crowd anxiously listened in.

"Yes?"

"I um, I mean I came all this way, and..."

"And?" she prompted him, clasping her hands in front of her.

Ron took a deep breath, "And I think you're really pretty... and I like your honkers..." he finished pointing at her chest.

"Thanks, I think you're pretty also, and they like you as well."

Ron nodded, "Good to know... so um..."

"You know I can quit this at any time," she said motioning back at her tour group.

"Yeah you should do that because we'll both be unavailable for a few days."

"Why's that?" asked Luna a bit anxiously.

"Well I mean... don't you wanna snog and then go have crazy, mind blowing sex?" he asked hopefully.

Luna gave him a strange look which was really something for Luna.

"Oh no," muttered Hermione, "Luna he's a little out of it- someone gave him some pills-"

"I think it's romantic," said Luna dreamily.

"Really?" asked Hermione.

"Really!" asked Ron excitedly.

Luna nodded, "We can go back to my hotel room..." she suggested with a smile and raised eyebrow.

"God I love you," Ron said coming forward.

"I love you too," she replied, meeting him half way and wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he crushed his mouth down on hers. The crowd stood there for a minute as they watched the couple vigorously kissing each other. Finally someone within started a slow clap which inspired the rest. Eventually all of Vatican square was clapping and cheering at Ron and Luna (Luna's legs were now wrapped around his waist and they were unashamedly licking and pawing each other).

"That's my boy," said Harry wrapping his own arm over Hermione.

"Yes, yes grab her buttocks friend," said Eli as he brought a camera out of his vest and started snapping pictures. "Yes own her! Own her!"

Harry, Hermione, and Neville laughed as they watched Ron and Luna continue to snog the life out of each other.

"Neville!" said a French voice.

Neville spun around to see Gabrielle standing there smiling at him.

"Gabby, what are you doing here?" he asked going up to her and kissing her on the lips. He could hear Harry wolf whistling from behind them.

"I told you I was in that summer program," said Gabby.

"Oh right, right," Neville smiled at her and Gabby bit her lip.

"You know I've got some time before we leave again..."

Neville smiled timidly and started turning red, "Really?"

"Yeah, and I also have a hotel room..." she raised her eyebrows at Neville. He immediately spun around to Harry and Hermione,

"I'll meet up with you guys later," before they could respond Neville had grabbed Gabby's hand and they were both scurrying off through the horde of people.

"Imagine that," said Hermione wearing a smile. She was truly happy for her two best friends.

"Yeah... now do you think she knows about the hag in Bratislava?" asked Harry cheekily.

Hermione gasped and nudged him in the side, "Don't you dare Harry James!"

Harry smiled and leaned in to kiss her cheek, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone."

"Good," she smiled as he continued to kiss his way down her neck.

"You know I did basically take off that hat so..."

"You did, didn't you." Hermione turned to look him in the eye.

"Yeah so..."

"Is that what you want Harry?" she asked as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

He leaned into her and groaned, "Yes..."

"You know what I want, Harry?" she asked seductively.

Harry's mouth went dry and his pants got even more tighter, "What?"

Hermione smiled and grabbed his hand, "To go see the Basilica di San Clemente! I hear it's beautiful!"

"Really?" squeaked Harry as Hermione tugged him through the crowd.

"Yeah- I mean, we're here in Rome. How many times are we going to be in Rome?"

Harry smiled painfully at her innocent attitude, "Right. When in Rome..."

---

"Jesus, Luna," Ron gasped as he fell onto the bed. Luna quickly climbed on top of him and ripped his shirt off.

"Is something wrong?" she asked quickly lowering herself on top of him and kissing his hard chest.

"God, no!" he moaned as her kisses became more wet and lowered to his trousers, "It's just- I wish I would have thought about you like this back when we were together in school."

"You mean you wish we were doing this when I was fourteen and you were fifteen?" she asked incredulously. She squeaked as Ron flipped her over and started running his hands down her legs.

"Merlin- I would have been the coolest fifteen year old ever if that were the case-"

"Will you stay focused?" Luna asked impatiently tugging his belt off.

"Wow... Loony Lovegood telling me to stay focused," he groaned as Luna's delicate hand wrapped around his throbbing member. "This is great... I love you so much..."

---

"See Harry, isn't this fantastic?" said Hermione as they stood at the end of an old rickety church.

Harry looked down to see Hermione's excitement and couldn't let himself damper her fun, "Yeah, 'Mione, this is great." he smiled for her satisfaction. He couldn't help but think of what he'd like to be doing right now.

"Ooh, look confessionals! I don't think I've been in one of these since I was ten," she said stepping inside and closing the door after them. Harry looked around the small wooden compartment wondering what was so great about a small, dingy box with a tinted window in it.

"What would you have to confess at age ten?"

Hermione got quiet, "I, um, snuck a few pieces of candy after Halloween."

Harry gasped dramatically, "How dare you!"

Hermione nodded solemnly, "Wasn't even sugar free candy either."

Harry gasped again and slapped a hand to his forehead.

"It's not funny, Harry! My parents would have been so angry with me if they found out."

Harry laughed and grabbed her around the waist and burying his face in her neck. "But I guess I have quite a few sins to confess as of lately," Hermione whispered. Harry let go of her and moved back slightly to look into her eyes.

Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in seductively, "Not to mention the sins we're about to commit..."

Harry chuckled as Hermione started to place lazy kisses down his neck and started unbuttoning his shirt, "You planned this all along didn't you?"

"Yep," Hermione said simply.

"This confessional just got a whole lot more interesting," Harry said back, starting to unbutton her shorts.

"Told ya it'd be fantastic," she said before kissing him hard on the mouth. Harry smiled into the kiss and hoped that no one would be stupid enough to enter the opposite side of the confessional for at least a few hours.

---

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Neville all met up a few hours later in the center of Vatican square. All four were smiling lazily and peacefully as they approached each other.

"So..." Harry started looking with a knowing smile at both Ron and Neville who had love bites trailing all over their necks.

"So..." Neville said.

"Feeling alright, Ron?" asked Hermione slyly under Harry's arm.

"Never better," he said hoarsely.

The four of them laughed together.

"Our plane leaves tonight at nine," spoke Harry looking at everyone to see their reaction.

"Yeah, about that..." Ron said scratching the back of his head.

"Well you guys can cash my ticket in," Neville said boldly with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"What was that Neville?" asked Ron in fake shock.

"Well Gabby's getting out of the program early... and her parents won't be back from Africa for three weeks so... you know it'll just be her stuck alone in that big old house-"

"And I guess you'll need to stick around to scare the monsters out of her closet?" asked Hermione with a quirked eyebrow.

Neville, "Yeah, that among other things..." The four laughed again at Neville's boldness and Ron clapped him on the back.

"Good for you, Nev."

"Yeah, that's awesome."

Ron looked at his friends, "I just want to say I'm so happy we got to take this trip together. It was the best time of my life."

The four stood their smiling serenely before someone interrupted them.

"Neville?" called a voice in the distance. Neville turned around and smiled at Gabby.

"I gotta jet guys," he said with a smile not taking his eyes off her. Ron pulled Neville into a hug and clapped him hard on the back. Harry and Hermione followed suit, Hermione giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Stay safe," she said.

"Be good." said Harry punching his shoulder again.

"Wrap your tool!"

"Thanks Ron," Neville said with a smile, "Alright well... I'll see you guys back in London."

Neville had made it about half way to Gabby when Harry called out to him, "Neville! What happened to your guide book?"

Neville grinned, "I don't think I'll be needing that anymore." He waved at them one last time before reaching Gabby and walking back down the street with her.

"We taught him that," said Harry nodding over to him.

"Taught him what?" asked Hermione.

"Confidence."

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

"Okay- I'm alright with you two dating and doing something that rhymes with nagging," Harry and Hermione looked at each other and smiled as Ron continued, "But I will not tolerate these cute little romantic kisses from time to time and whatever disgusting things you might get up to."

Hermione nodded, "Okay Dad."

Ron scowled at her, "I'm serious. Harry if you break her heart I'll go find that Eli bloke and have him... I don't know, rip your liver out or something equally disgusting and painful."

Harry nodded, "He probably needs a new one of those anyways..."

"I wouldn't doubt it." said Ron nodding.

"You have nothing to worry about Ron, I'll treat her right," he said quietly looking down into her eyes.

"See like that," Ron interrupted, "the whole staring into each other's souls thing... just... no..."

Hermione laughed and came up to hug him, "Oh, I'm gonna miss you Ronniekins..."

"How'd you know I wasn't going with you guys?"

"Simply because you said you were going to be unreachable for days earlier... and we know you don't kid about stuff like that," said Harry highly amused as Hermione came back.

"Well... yeah you're right." The three shared a laugh again before Ron spoke, "So what are you're guys' plans?"

Harry and Hermione looked at each other again, "We don't know yet... I mean there's a whole world to explore, ya know?"

Ron nodded, "True that mate." He sighed and started tapping his foot on the ground.

"Go," said Hermione with a smile.

Ron looked at her, "Hmm?"

"We know you want to get back to Luna. Go... we'll see you back home."

Ron smiled and stepped forward to put his arms around them, "The golden trio, 'ey?"

"Always," smiled Harry.

"Always," Hermione added leaning her head on Harry's.

"Yeah... always," finished Ron.

---

HAHA! And that's all! FINISHED!! Sappy ending? GOOD, THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING FOR!

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