Hermione's Crush

Jester on Fire

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Action & Adventure
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 13/12/2006
Last Updated: 03/03/2007
Status: completed

Near death experiences can create powerful emotions. When Hermione is saved from the troll in her first year, she immediately has a crush on one of her saviours, Harry Potter. Follow her through the years as her feelings evolve and as her relationship with Harry changes. Chapter 7 reposted!

Chapters

1. When It All Began...

2. Handling One's Worries

3. Keeping One's Mind on the Task at Hand

4. Dealing With Jealousy

5. Finally Getting Bolder

6. Digging Herself a Hole

7. Finally Getting What's Due

1. When It All Began...

/Author's note: This scene is an adaptation to the one in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone, the bold lines are taken from the book. Also, I made it so that Hermione was still 11 years old at Halloween of first year. Why, you ask? Well just because :p

This story is written out of pure pleasure and no financial gain is linked to its creation or exposition. The characters are not mine, I just tweak their situations.

Chapter 1: When it all Began

“It's no wonder no one can stand her…she's a nightmare honestly” The words rang in her head like a deafening siren as a bushy brown-haired girl with large front teeth cried in the girls bathroom. `That Ron Weasley is such a moron!' She thought, `how can he have the nerve to make fun of me! All I was trying to do was help him get through his thickness and do the spell right…” Hermione Granger had been crying, locked in her little cubicle, for the whole afternoon.

A girl from her year, Lavender Brown, had tried to persuade her to come out, all the while making fairly nasty comments about Ron to try and make her feel better. She had appreciated the effort but she just needed to be alone and didn't answer, and so Lavender, accepting defeat, had left for dinner. Now all Hermione could hear was the clatter of cutlery and the happy voices of those in the Great Hall.

She felt drowned in emotions: she felt guilty for not being kinder to Lavender, she felt sad, she felt stupid for crying over such a silly thing, and as her stomach gave a small rumbling noise, she realized she felt hungry too. But she didn't want to enter the Great Hall late and make everyone's attention turn to her, not that she expected any to notice she wasn't present, but the big doors to the Great Hall were very noisy and they would surely draw attention to her more than anything.

Suddenly she heard an uproar come from that direction, and a great scraping of benches. Hermione figured the feast had just finished, though it seemed to her it was a bit early. Nevertheless, those noises along with another growl of her stomach made her decide to get out of her cubicle and leave her depression inside.

“Never again,” she thought while looking at herself in the mirror, “never again will I cry because of a boy”. Her eyes and nose were red, and a few tears lingered on the rims of her eyes. She wiped them away and washed her face at the sink. The cold water felt good on her face, and the red colour of her face slowly faded.

As she soaked her face once more, she crinkled up her nose as a horrible smell reached her nostrils. She turned around to see where it was coming from and she let out a high, petrified scream. A troll was in front of her, it looked just like the illustration of a book about magical creatures of Northern Europe she had read. It reared its great boulder-like head to see where the sound had come from, and didn't even seem to register Hermione's presence straight away. She started backing away towards the back wall of the bathroom, since the huge granite-grey mass in front of her blocked all other routes, and hoped that either the troll would go away, or move enough for her to be able to slip away and run for her life.

No such luck.

The troll made its way towards her, knocking sinks off the wall as he went. Hermione was so scared she thought she would faint, and as all her possibilities of escape began to dissolve around her, she felt panic rise in her, something that only ever happened in moments of absolute despair and hopelessness.

Then her heart leapt, as she heard the door open. “Yes! I'm saved! she thought, a teacher must have heard my scream!” but it wasn't a teacher, it wasn't even the caretaker, it was two small boys, one with jet black messy hair and emerald eyes, Harry Potter, and the other with flamboyant red hair and brown eyes, Ron Weasley. She felt mixed feelings, first she felt reassured that someone had come to help, though that feeling wavered slightly at the sight of the two first years, she felt a strange sense of safety and reassurance at the sight of Harry and the bravery that was set in his eyes, and then hatred at the sight of Ron, not only because of the look of fear on his face, but because, in the end, it was partly his fault that she was in this situation.

Harry yelled at Ron to try and confuse the troll while grabbing a tap and throwing it against a wall. The troll heard it, or at least registered something was happening behind him, and stopped moving towards Hermione. It turned around, to see what had made the noise and saw Harry. It looked back at Hermione, but finally started towards Harry instead. Fear and dread ran through Hermione as she saw the troll make its way towards him.

Then the troll paused as a pipe hit its shoulder and Ron shouted something. Harry seized this opportunity to run around the troll and make his way to Hermione while the troll lumbered around to face Ron.

Hermione saw him running towards her, sheer determination in his eyes, and even if pipes were flying and sinks were crashing around her, she felt safe at the sight of him near her. True she had been mad at them before, but it was mostly because of the shock of seeing the three-headed dog, or rather the shock of nearly having her head bit off.

She could see his lips moving and could hear muffled voices. She snapped out of her Harry-reverie but still couldn't move, terrified at the thought of moving closer towards the troll, even if to get out.

The troll seemed to be going mad, all the shouting making him spin around. Finally, it decided to go for the closest one to it, Ron, who had no way of escape.

Harry suddenly took a great running jump and fastened his arms around the troll's neck from behind, while accidentally sticking his wand, that had still been in his hand when he jumped, up the troll's nose.

Hermione admired his move of bravery, even though incredibly stupid, and realised how much Harry cared for his friends, and knew that he would always put himself in harms way to protect them, she wondered if he would do the same for her. “Does he consider me a friend? He must if he risked the troll for me. But does he feel something more? Wait,” she thought, “why am I hoping that? Could I possibly like him? Oh no this is going to bother me for ages now."

The troll gave another roar, of pain this time, and started rampaging all over the bathroom, thrusting his club all over the place trying to hit Harry, who was clinging to the troll's neck for dear life.

Hermione was so afraid for Harry's life that she fainted and sunk down the wall in fright with the image of Harry being clubbed swimming around in her mind. Suddenly there was a great thud and she snapped back up, fearing the worst.

Through the dust that had lifted up she could see Harry getting to his feet next to the limp body of the troll, lying flat on his front on the floor of the destroyed bathroom. He was shaking and out of breath. Ron was standing there with his wand still raised, amazed at what he had done.

Hermione finally broke the silence.

"Is it - dead?"

"I don't think so,” said Harry, "I think it's just been knocked out."

He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy grey glue.

"Urgh - troll bogeys."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron's immaturity while Harry wiped it on the troll's trousers..

A sudden slamming and loud footsteps made them jump and look up. Of course, with all the racket they had made someone must have heard them. A moment later, Professor McGonagall followed by Snape and Quirell appeared. “NOW they come!" thought Hermione angrily, though she had to stop herself from laughing when Quirell collapsed onto a toilet at the sight of the troll.

“What on earth were you thinking of?” said Professor McGonagall, with cold fury in her voice.

“You're lucky you weren't killed. Why aren't you in your dormitory?”

Hermione saw the two boys look at each other and knew there was only one answer that could get them out of trouble, even if it meant lying to a teacher. "After all, they just saved my life, she thought, so it balances out."

So her small voice came out of the shadows.

"Please, Professor McGonagall - they were looking for me."

"Miss Granger!"

Hermione had gotten up so that the teachers finally noticed her.

"I went looking for the troll because I - I thought I could deal with it on my own - you know, because I've read all about them."

She didn't break eye contact with Professor McGonagall but she heard Ron drop his wand. Could it be true? Hermione, the know-it-all teacher's pet actually lying right to a teacher's face, her head of house no less.

"If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now, she tried to reason, they didn't have time to come and fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived."

She knew Harry and Ron were trying to look as though this story wasn't new to them, Hermione tried to keep from shaking, she couldn't believe what she was doing.

“Well - in that case…” said Professor McGonagall, staring at the three of them, “Miss Granger you foolish girl, how could you think of tackling a mountain troll on your own?”

Hermione finally broke eye contact and looked down, she hoped she was at least acting right. Harry was dumbstruck, and Snape looked like Christmas had come early.

“Miss Granger, five points will be taken from Gryffindor for this,” said Professor McGonagall. “I'm very disappointed in you. If you're not hurt at all, you'd better get off to Gryffindor tower. Students are finishing the feasts in their houses.”

Hermione didn't need telling twice and hurriedly walked away.

She walked all the way to Gryffindor tower just like she was asked to, trying not to burst into tears for losing house points. She was ashamed of herself. But strangely, she didn't care as much as she thought, she found herself thinking more about Harry and Ron, and how they were being scolded too. Now she didn't see them as just two boys from her class, that happened to attract quite a bit of trouble, she considered them friends, “well maybe a bit more of a friend for Harry” she thought wryly, the first smile of the day crossing her face, and hoped they would feel the same. Either way she decided to be nicer to them from now on. There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot troll is one of them.

When Hermione arrived at the Gryffindor common room, it was packed and noisy. No one noticed her entering, no surprise to her, but when she saw the food that had been sent up, she suddenly realised how hungry she was. Nevertheless, she waited alone by the door for the boys to get back. Finally, they entered. An awkward silence followed and they said a rapid `Thanks' before going to get something to eat, Hermione finally satisfying her rumbling tummy.

That night, Hermione lay in her bed, thinking of what had happened that day. "I lied to a professor! But I guess it was worth it, well I hope it was, maybe they'll be nicer to me now, I hope Harry does, I'd like to know what lies behind those disarming green eyes." She sighed. "Here we are again, thinking about the Great Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived.” But she didn't see him like that. It wasn't his fame that attracted her. In fact she couldn't really explain what it was she liked about him, she just - did.

Leave it to love to find the first thing Hermione didn't fully understand. "But who really does understand love anyway?" she thought reassuringly. And with her feelings for Harry buzzing around her head, she fell asleep, vowing to never show her feelings for him, because, after all, that's not what you do at 11 years old.

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2. Handling One's Worries

[A/N: Well, here it is, the next chapter. It's my take on book 2, and next one will be book 3, and so on…This chapter I found slightly hard to write, for the simple reason that I couldn't really find a H/Hr moment that I found perfect to rewrite, and so I hope you forgive any possible shortness or length in some parts.

What's in bold=COS book. And I also put an indication of the timeline, as in where I took the snippets from, just for clarity's sake.

Anyway, keeping in mind I make no profit from this, read on, and hopefully enjoy..]

Chapter 2: Handling One's Worries…

==

While Harry is stuck at the Dursleys, completely disconnected from magical contact.

==

Hermione paced her room over and over again, her brow creased and her hands fiddling with the hem of her robes. She had gone in circles around her room so many times she was surprised she hadn't dug a trench already. She just couldn't get her mind off Harry, more precisely on the fact that he wasn't answering any of her letters, and there were a lot of them.

She had tried not to send too many, but her growing worry made her all hectic and she needed a way to transmit it to someone, so she wrote letters. She sent a couple to Ron, asking if he had gotten any news, and he responded that he was in the same situation as her, with no news and no idea why.

At first, she wondered if he just didn't want to reply, maybe he thought she was a nag, maybe he was only acting as her friend because he pitied her, maybe… Too many questions played around in her mind, each one more ludicrous than the next, but she couldn't help it. She absolutely abhorred not knowing the answer to something. Her nails were bit to near non-existence, there were no more cookies left in the house, she had finished those non-sugar pastries in under a week, she was losing her mind, and she hated herself for it. Well, kind of…

Her only escape were her studies. Though they didn't exactly have summer homework, she still found something to do, and was hell-bent on getting her mind off of Harry for a bit.

Finally, some solace came to her in the form of a tattered owl from Ron, giving her a letter that said that he and his brothers had a plan to go and get Harry, or at least see what was up. She was so excited that some questions would finally be answered that she didn't really care how they got to him, she just hoped it wouldn't be illegal.

She started writing a letter back to Ron, and started over, there were too many scribbles and crossed-out words on the parchment. Half an hour later, she had a neat little pyramid of paper balls on her desk, and she was slowly scribbling her newest attempt at a letter. She wanted to seem worried, yet not too much, and she tried to seem as interested in the both of them, even if the letter was purely about Harry in her head. Finally after many tries, she finally had a letter with less than half of it crossed out.

Dear Ron, and Harry if you're there,

I hope everything went all right and that Harry is OK and that you didn't do anything illegal to get him out, Ron, because that would get Harry into trouble, too, and then he'll be punished and I wont be able to see him . I've been going out of my mind with worry really worried and if Harry is all right, will you please let me know at once, but perhaps it would be better if you used a different owl, because I think another delivery might finish your one off.

Schoolwork was my only outlet I'm very busy with school work, of course, and we're going to London next Wednesday to buy my new books. Yay!!! Why don't we meet in Diagon Alley? You better bring Harry.

Let me know as what's happening as soon as you can or I'll go completely bonkers , love from Hermione.

She didn't know why she added the `love from Hermione' part, but it just felt right. She hoped she would see Harry in Diagon Alley, and maybe she did kind of miss Ron after all, so she also hoped to see him too.

She watched the owl fly away, and sat on her bed, grabbing the book on her nightstand and continuing where she left off during the night before. She never got tired of reading Hogwarts: A History.

----------======----------

==

During the Dueling Club, Lockhart just got hit with a spell from Snape.

==

“Enough demonstrating!” Hermione was relieved to see he was alright after that nasty Disarming Charm, because Professor Lockhart had taken quite a nasty fall.

“I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me…”

Oh great Hermione lamented Harry is of course going to be with Ron, who will I be with then? She glanced at Neville. She wouldn't mind being his partner, after all, she doubted it would be too hard to disarm him. But he got paired with Justin Finch-Fletchley as Lockhart passed them.

Then she spotted Snape moving towards them, and seeing the cold gleeful look in his eyes, she reflexively stepped closer to her two friends.

“Time to split up the dream team, I think,” he sneered. “Weasley, you can partner Finnigan. Potter - ”

Harry moved automatically towards Hermione. She of course noticed this, and made an inner whooping in her mind. Please let him be with me, pleeeeaaaase, she pleaded Snape wordlessly, knowing it was no use, really.

“I don't think so,” said Snape, smiling coldly. “Mr Malfoy,” he said in a fake `sudden-idea' voice, as if he hadn't planned putting them together from the start, “come over here. Let's see what you make of the famous Potter. And you, Miss Granger,” he scanned the faces, and, finally spotting one he thought adequate, he smiled evilly. “You can partner Miss Bulstrode.”

If there was one person Hermione did not want to duel, it was her. Millicent Bullstrode, yiekh… Hermione thought it would be more appropriate for her to be holding a banana than a wand. She looked like a cross between a hag, an overfed gorilla, and a cartoon cavewoman. To say she looked dim just didn't cut it.

Hermione turned and gave her a weak smile just for politeness' sake, and was not surprised when Bullstrode just looked at her with a sort of confused hunger in her eyes.

“Face your partners!” called Lockhart.

“No boyfriend to save you now,” she uttered. Merlin even her voice sounds under-evolved, thought Hermione as she scowled.

“Harry is not my boyfriend” she seethed, hoping the square-shouldered `girl' in front of her didn't catch the flicker of wistfulness in her brown-haired opponent's eyes.

In all honesty, she supposed Bullstrode meant she didn't have one of her boy-friends there to help her out, but her poor vocabulary skills, along with that touchy subject for Hermione, made that Millicent was now faced with a riled up enemy.

“And bow!”

Hermione bowed politely while Bullstrode grunted.

“Wands at the ready!” shouted Lockhart. “When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent - only to disarm them - we don't want any accidents.” Well then you shouldn't have put me with this monkey-girl, I'll be ripped to shreds! Hermione lamented inwardly. “One…”

Expelliarmus…Expelliarmus…Expelliarmus…recited Hermione.

“Ready to lose?” she snickered, receiving a death glare from Hermione.

“Are you talking to yourself now, then?” she replied coolly. She knew it would take Millicent a bit of time to get it.

“Two…”

She could see the light bulb go `click!' above the broad girl's head in front of her. But strangely, she smirked:

“Taking out your frustration about Potter not liking you on me are you?”

Hermione saw red and went primal.

“Three!”

Her wand, and the fact that her opponent was massive, forgotten, she jumped on the offending stocky girl and started scratching the hell out of her.

Or at least, that's what she had intended to do. Millicent seamed to have prepared for it, and Hermione barely got a scratch in, before she was caught in a head lock. She tried to fight, her face red with rage, or was that because she was suffocating? In the end it was no use, her enemy was much too large, and she started whimpering in pain.

Everyone around her was still moving, a haze of greenish smoke hovering over the scene, which she supposed was somehow Ron's impaired wand's doing. She vaguely heard Lockhart vying for calm and control and the noise dimmed down a bit, but Millicent wasn't getting the hint. Hermione tried to tell her to let go, but all that came out was a sort of growl.

Luckily, Harry leapt forward and pulled Millicent off. It was difficult, she was a lot bigger than he was. Hermione inhaled a great thankful breath as soon as that gorilla let go of her, and gave Harry a hug. He was caught off-guard, and he was awkward, but she still felt him relax slightly, and she withdrew with a huge grin on her face.

She barely got a chance to thank him before he was pulled away and set up in front of everyone, something she was learning that he hated, and that he was ironically always forced to do.

He had once again saved her from a big ugly foe, and it looked to be it that it would be a constant, he would always be her saviour. Though Hermione would not settle to be the damsel in distress, she would never be able to deny that Harry had a sort of Hero-image in her mind.

----------======----------

==

The day Hermione is petrified and is brought to the hospital wing.

==

Great, just great… she thought witheringly. So I'm going to be stuck like this until those bloody mandrakes are mature enough. Woopdi-fuking-doo.

Not much is known about the state in which a person is, mentally, when they are petrified. Because it is a very rare happening that people somehow do not die at the sight of a Basilisks eyes or other circumstances that result in petrifying, there aren't many accountings.

She remembered reading something like that in a book while in the library, in fact, the same one that she had ripped a page out from, the one that she still had clutched in her petrified hand.

Well I'll write a whole book on this state once I'm back to normal. Though on the outside, she was frozen, on the inside, she still thought, felt, saw, smelt and heard what was happening around her. It made sleeping a hard task, and she didn't exactly see much since her gaze was directed to the ceiling. The worst though was that she couldn't study. Tests were coming up soon, she knew, and she was incapable of studying!

Suddenly, she heard footsteps, and the curtain around her bed was opened.

“Hermione!” she heard Ron shout. Yes! My friends are here. She was elated that her friends had come to see her, and it hit a spot in her heart that they were distraught over her state, however horrible that sounded. She had spent most of her primary years with barely any friends at all, so it felt nice to know that someone cared about your well- or ill-being.

But she also hoped they would see the page in her hand, so that they would figure out what the monster was and put a stop to the attacks. Damn it, look at my hands!! You stupid immature boys too scared to even take a girls hand! Look. at .my .hand . She wondered if her face was red from anger.

Harry though didn't have any reaction at all, and she wondered why. She strained her ears for any sound, but she couldn't make out anything. McGonagall then ushered them away, leaving her alone with her thoughts once again. She groaned inwardly.

==

That night.

==

It was night, and everything was dark in the hospital wing. Not a sound could be heard, except for the wind blowing through the trees of the Forbidden Forest in the distance. Hermione tried to sleep, the darkness mirroring closed eyelids, but found she could not get used to sleeping with her eyes open, at least not yet.

She kept wondering why Harry had had no reaction whatsoever. Maybe he did, but just not an audible one, she tried reasoning with herself, but that suggestion brought her little consolation. It made her question what he considered her. After all, every time he was in the hospital wing she was always the first one by his side. She thought it was a natural urge, not because she had a crush on him, but because they were friends. And him not having any reaction, just as if he didn't care, saddened her.

A young teenage Hermione left alone with only her thoughts tends to roam near the self-doubting and insecure regions of herself, and misled thoughts and conclusions come up that totally occupy her mind. For this reason, she did not hear her curtain ruffle, though it was barely audible anyway.

If Hermione had not been petrified, she would have screamed bloody murder as a hand was placed on her fore-arm, but the present-state Hermione showed no reaction. She heard the ruffling of a cloak and then a dull thump as it must have been dropped on the floor.

She wondered what this person was doing there, in the middle of the night, staring (at least that's all she hoped he was doing) at a petrified person. She was startled when she heard the person speak:

“I promise you Hermione Granger, that I will catch whoever did this to you, I won't let him get away.” She recognized not only the voice, but the determination set in it. Her heart warmed intensely as she realised that her being attacked did affect Harry, and that he had risked getting caught out after curfew to come and see her and make her a promise.

Thanks Harry she wished she could have said, it means a lot to me. Now get back to bed before you get caught breaking more school rules you prat!

As if he had heard her, he adorned the invisibility cloak she knew he had, and disappeared back through the curtain, leaving behind a Hermione who finally felt that she may be able to fall asleep after all.

-----

==

The two boys visit Hermione, having used it as an excuse when caught in the hallways without an escort. Near the end of the book.

==

A few weeks later, when she was pretty sure she was going mad, they came to visit her again, and they sat down close to her bed, she could hear them speaking.

“Wonder if she did see the attacker, though? Because if he sneaked up on them all, no one'll ever know…”

You twit! It's not a person! It's a great big ruddy snake! But then she calmed, as she felt someone's hands on hers, the hand in fact. Yes!! They finally saw it!

She heard Ron say he would keep guard, and knew it was Harry trying to pry to parchment from her hand.

When it finally came out, she heard their astonished voices as realization hit her, and felt hope inside her that the basilisk would be stopped, Harry would pull through, she had faith in that.

Took you prats long enough! She wished she could've spoken at that moment, just to tell them that. Then they lost her when they started talking about girl's bathrooms. Finally, they left. Yes! They found out, now they can stop the basilisk and we'll all be safe!

Wait, then a realization hit her, that heroic fool!!

And she was left to her own worries as her two best friends went off into danger without her.

[A/N: So the Harry/hero image for Hermione is my idea. She was saved by him, so I think it's normal that she see him like that, much like Ginny sees him. But Hermione is much more mature, and that image of him will change, she will see him as just-Harry soon enough.

Harry's night-time visit is totally dedicated to Canoncansodoff, who pretty much gave me the idea, thx!

Hope you guys liked my take on the second book, and the next update will definitely be sooner. Thx for reading and Happy New Year!!]

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3. Keeping One's Mind on the Task at Hand

[A/N: Alright, here it is, book 3. This is just one big moment, none multiple. Hope you guys like it, see ya in a review maybe?]

Chapter 3: Keeping One's Mind on the Task at Hand

“This is it Hermione -“

Just by the tone in Harry's voice she knew that at this moment nothing would be able to take his mind away from the task at hand. Once again his determination amazed her. After this whole ordeal, the running, the cuts, the bruises, the running, the revelations, and more running, he could still manage to do everything as if he was in top form.

But that's how Harry is, she thought, he'll put himself through anything and everything to save his friends, or in this case, his family, that is to say his godfather, Sirius Black.

Hermione had learnt that and many more things about Harry over the 3 years of their friendship, that had started after he and Ron had saved her from the troll in 1st year.

She remembered how awkward it was at first, and then how inseparable they became, earning themselves the nickname “The Golden Trio”. They had had many adventures, filled with dark creatures and evil wizards, and had come out of each with an even stronger bond of friendship.

She set her mind back to the task at hand, saving Sirius, as Harry gave her a leg up so that she could get onto Buckbeak, then seated himself in front of her.

“Ready? He whispered to Hermione. You'd better hold onto me - “

Hermione didn't need telling twice and fastened her arms around his waist as they soared into the dark sky. She tightened her grip around him as they went higher and higher, and closed her eyes while expressing her dislike at the present situation - she was afraid of heights…

With her eyes still closed, she tried to forget about the fact that she was getting farther and farther away from the ground, trying to relieve the slight headache brewing in her mind. She suddenly realized how close she was to Harry. She could feel his stomach muscles, tensed to stay straight on Buckbeak as his wings raised powerfully, and she started picturing him without his shirt on. Damn it Hermione! Snap out of it! she scolded herself, you haven't thought of Harry like this since you were in first year!

Well…maybe second year…

And..and a bit of third year…

Who are you kidding, you dreamt of him just last night!”

She tried to concentrate on something else.

She took a deep breath to try and breath away her thoughts. But failed spectacularly . She could smell his scent, but not the smell of perspiration or dirt, but his Harry-scent, and she inhaled a big waft of it, and it soothed her, made her melt, made her all mushy. She gave up trying to fight it.

She kept her eyes closed, but not out of fear anymore, she wanted to concentrate on the terrific scent tickling her nostrils, and loosened her grip slightly as she leaned more into his back, hoping that he would see this as her being scared, and not suspect anything.

We' re here again, back to your feelings about Harry…

She had thought long and hard about what Harry meant to her. It had started as a simple schoolgirl crush, like any other left out girl, she was attracted to the first boy who was nice to her, and that boy had happened to be Harry. She had thought that's all it was, a simple crush, nothing more nothing less.

How wrong she had been…

As she got to know him, she realized just what an amazing person he was. She got to know the Harry underneath the image that people had of him, though they weren't that far off, he really was worthy of admiration.

Her analyzing personality picked up on all his small habits and little defaults, because she wanted to know all about him. She never wanted to forget a thing about him, she wanted to be able to know what he was thinking with just a look.

So she studied him like she studied a book, drinking up every detail about him, though all the same making sure he didn't notice her doing it. Her “evolved crush” - as she sometimes called it - was under no circumstances meant to be known by anyone else.

She didn't want to be rejected, and so she kept it to herself, staring at him whenever she had the chance.

When he talked to her, she would stare into his eyes, so that he knew he had her full attention. But Hermione wasn't really looking into his eyes, she was examining all his hand movements - he was so energetic when he talked - she was examining how his eyebrows moved ,how he ruffled his hair from time to time, careful to replace his fringe to cover up his scar.

She was brought back to the present situation as Harry quickly pulled backwards on the rope attached to Buckbeak so that he would stop. Luckily she was holding tightly on to him so her body just followed his movement.

She opened her eyes, they were at a stop, well as much as you can be with huge wings flapping on the sides of you as you hover in the air.

Harry peered into a window and pointed at it, shouting “He's there!”. He managed to tap sharply on the glass and Sirius looked up. His jaw dropped, and he ran to the window. He tried to open it, but couldn't manage.

Finally, something I can help with! she thought happily as she shouted to Sirius to stand back. She took out her wand, still keeping an arm around Harry's waist, even if she was perfectly balanced, she just liked having her hand there. “Alohomora!”. The window sprang open but Black continued to look amazed and just stared at the Hippogriff.

“How - how -?” said Black weakly.

“Get on - there's not much time, you've got to get out of here - the Dementors are coming.”

Black finally came to and managed to squeeze through the window and swing a leg over the Hippogriff's back, pulling himself straight, sitting behind Hermione.

“Ok Buckbeak, up!” said Harry, shaking the rope around his neck. “Up to the tower - come on!”

Buckbeak began once more flying upwards, this time towards one of the towers. He landed with a clatter on the West Tower while Hermione and Harry slid off instantly.

”Sirius, you'd better go, quick!” Harry panted.

But he still didn't move, incredulity still visible in his eyes. He started asking questions and the two kids yelled at him to leave straight away, lest someone notice that he had escaped.

“GO!” Harry and Hermione shouted together.

He finally got it and wheeled Buckbeak round to face the open sky.

“We'll see each other again,” he said “You are - truly your father's son, Harry…”

And with that, he left, and they both watched him fly off, slowly becoming a black dot in the sky, until he disappeared behind a cloud and was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly Hermione realized that they too had very little time.

“Harry!”

She tugged at Harry's shirt until he came back to his senses and they immediately ran down the stairs as fast as they could.

They had 10 minutes.

They heard voices and flattened themselves against the wall just at the bottom of the staircase. They recognized the voices as Snape and Fudge, and waited for them to pass to start running in the opposite direction, towards the hospital wing.

They crossed staircases and corridors, both of them ignoring the stitches in their sides that they had and continuing to run as if they were being chased by a werewolf. They heard a loud cackle ahead. Harry directly pushed Hermione into an empty classroom just in time as Peeves bounced around in the corridor.

Hermione could feel his breath on her, his breathing fast, as he pinned her to the wall, staring into space, concentrating on the sound in the corridor. Hermione tried to do the same, but the close proximity of Harry face was overwhelming. She couldn't concentrate on anything other than what was right now inches away from her face. It took all the control she had to stop herself from leaning in, fulfilling the growing desire inside her. His scent once again made her melt, and she felt all the muscles in her body relax as it filled her lungs, and flowed through her veins like a drug. She took deep breaths, saturating herself with his scent, that wonderful smell. She just stared at those ensnaring green eyes, alert and worried. She wished she could comfort him, but found she had lost the use of her limbs, and just silently and contently watched him.

Merlin how I wish this could have been in a different situation, without the worry and haste around us, so that I could do things to Harry that would so totally betray my image of a geeky know-it-all that- Peeves' cackles snapped her out of her unholy thoughts.

Three minutes left.

They were running again, I'm gonna lye in my bed for a week after this, it feels like all I've done all day is run! she thought, unable to talk because of her panting. Peeves had passed and they were again rushing along corridors and stairs towards the hospital wing.

1 minute…

And they got there, and met Dumbledore at the entrance. He listened through the door, and then opened the door to let them in when he was sure that their counterparts had left. They quickly and swiftly climbed back inside their beds as the lock behind them clicked. Hermione had only just hidden the Time-Turner back under her robes when Madam Pomfrey came striding out of her office, in a very bad mood.

They both thought it best not to test how angry she actually was and accepted the chocolate she offered them without protest. When she returned to her office, a loud moan from the end of the wing brought their attention to Ron, who had just woken up.

He sat up, looking blearily around while rubbing his head. “What - what happened?” he groaned.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, reading each others' thoughts, and they couldn't help the grins they showed.

“You explain” said Harry helping himself to some more chocolate.

[A/N: I skipped the part where Snape bursts in shouting at everyone, because there's no interesting way to change it and since it doesn't really change anything in the story I just didn't write it. Hope you guys don't mind, and hope that you liked the chapter. Please review!]

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4. Dealing With Jealousy

Chapter 4: Dealing With Jealousy

==

Tri-wizard Tournament, Second Task in the lake.

==

She inhaled a great breath.

She woke up as soon as her head broke the water's surface. The water was freezing, and she had trouble getting her breathing to steady up. She wondered where Harry was. She turned around to see a big shark head staring at her and shrieked, swimming away quickly. Then she realized it was Krum when she saw the rest of his body, since only his head had been transfigured, and relaxed, though still stayed at a bit of a distance, those teeth didn't look too welcoming.

They both approached the edge of the water, Krum keeping his head underwater yet standing on his feet, so that the closer they got, the more he looked like a sort of sea ostridge. Finally Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey came over to them and transfigured Krum back to his normal self, while wrapping them both in thick towels and pointing them to where they should join the other champions and freed hostages.

As soon as Hermione spotted them sitting there with cups of steaming potion in their hands, she noticed the only champion missing.

“Where's Harry?” she asked, her voice quivering slightly with worry.

“I dunno what the hell he's doing,” Cedric spoke first, “I finally got to the bottom of the lake where you guys were tied up and he was already there, with Ron floating loosely next to him, and he was fighting some merpeople to try and get to you to cut your bonds and get you free -“ At that Hermione's heart lifted slightly, the fact that Harry would fight mermen to save her warmed her up more than the Pepper-up potion, that Madam Pomfrey had given her, ever could have. But she continued to worry, because if Harry had been there first then why hadn't he been back already, since the rest of the hostages had been saved?

“I `ope `e did not get `urt by ze Gryndylows like me, zey are vile creatures dose sings! Because of zem I do not know where my sister is!” said Fleur, clearly distraught. She continued ranting about how they should be expulsed from the lake, that in her school no dangerous creatures roamed freely or were left untamed. But Hermione wasn't listening.

Fleur's hostage hadn't been returned, she knew Harry, and he would never leave someone behind, But surely he hasn't taken the song seriously, she thought I mean he has his moments but he isn't THAT thick..

But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense, and she didn't want to think of a more dangerous reason either, so she stuck to it.

She was so thoughtful, so worried about Harry, that she hadn't said a word since getting to the group of champions. Krum turned to her, and tried to get her attention. He tapped her on her shoulder but still she didn't look at him, too engrossed in her thoughts and her brow furrowed, her eyes staring into space. So he quickly pecked her on the cheek, and she immediately turned to him, replacing her frown with a look of shock, her eyes round and wide. And they were face-to-face, inches apart. She was Krum's girlfriend after all, so he leaned in to kiss her.

Hermione gave a huge jerk backwards. They had been kneeling on the floor, and she jumped backwards so hard and fast that she kneed Krum in the chin, making his head knock upwards, and making a sickening snapping sound, as his bottom jaw was rammed into his top one.

He instantly pulled back, massaging his chin and looking completely embarrassed, staring at the ground. He hoped that the others hadn't seen what had happened. Luckily, Cedric was staring at Fleur, slightly drooling, and Cho was glaring at Cedric, then at Fleur and back at Cedric, trying to decide who she was going to shout at first. As for Fleur, she was in her little own Fleur-World and didn't notice anything at all.

Hermione was lying on her back, pressed up on her elbows, staring at Krum with a look that clearly said `What the hell do you think you're doing!?', her mouth slightly open in shock.

He was completely lost for words, and she looked murderous, so he thought it best not to make a scene in front of the others, and pulled her away from the group. They walked a bit, and as soon as they were out of earshot, she started shouting at him, asking him what the hell he thought he was doing, that he had no right etc…all the while letting out the stress and worry she had over Harry, taking it out on Krum.
He didn't know how to fix it, he didn't know what to do, he was cowering under this angry Hermione, and he tried to justify himself.

“I thought it vould be alright! It is vat boyfriend and girlfriend do!”

Hermione's rage flared up a notch and it was like her eyes were on fire.

“I am NOT your girlfriend, nor am I your prize, I'm not something you can do whatever you want with!”

Nice one Viktor he thought to himself.

“But I thought you felt the same about me as I did about you, I mean I'ff neffer felt the same vay about a girl before...” he attempted.

At that, Hermione was simply taken aback, never had anyone said something like that to her, let alone a boy.

Krum seemed to think that her ceased shouting meant that she felt the same way and continued: “Hermione, vould you like to visit me over the summer? If you're not doing anything ov course”.

Hermione was saved the trouble of finding a nice way to say no by a huge cry from the crowd, something had broken the stillness of the water's surface.

“Harry!” she cried, and ran off to the water's edge, towards Harry, leaving a disgruntled Krum just standing there with no answer in her wake.

Her heart was beating fast as she rushed to see if he was ok, the worry slowly draining out of her as she saw him and Ron walking towards them, along with a shiny-haired girl and a sort of escort of Merpeople.

What did he do now! she thought, a smile crossing her face. He always managed to make the most dramatic of appearances, and didn't ever mean to.

She tried to get to him but was pushed out of the way by Percy, Fleur and Madam Pomfrey, each rushing to a different person. When Hermione finally managed to get to Harry, he had steam gushing from his ears.

“Harry, well done!” she cried. “You did it, you found out how, all by yourself!”

She congratulated him exuberantly, something she somehow hadn't bothered to do to Krum.

“You haff a water beetle in your hair, Herm-own-ninny” said Krum suddenly appearing out of nowhere. She brushed it away impatiently, not even looking at him, and returned her attention to Harry, fully knowing that Krum had tried to get her focus back onto himself, instead of Harry.

Then the question that had been on her mind since she had regained consciousness burst out. “Did it take you ages to find us?”

She knew that wasn't it, but she didn't want to ask him if he had been thick enough to wait down there to get everyone back, even though the presence of the shiny-haired girl, who by Fleur's reaction Hermione had figured out was her sister, practically validated her theory.

But Harry's eyes darted around to the judges table, and they both noticed Karkaroff watching them, and she let it go, knowing that he would explain in detail later on, away from the prying eyes of Karkaroff.

Hermione took his arm and guided him towards the other champions. Cho and Cedric were having a heated argument, Cho pointing a few times towards Fleur, and Cedric with a frown that clearly showed he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Madam Pomfrey was attending to Fleur, who pushed her away, not caring that her robes were torn and that she was covered in cuts and bruises and asked that she look after her sister.

Fleur then turned to Harry, who had just arrived, Hermione dropping his arm straight away, not wanting Fleur to notice and make a big deal out of it. She was already in enough trouble with Krum, even though she didn't care about making it worse, she still didn't need someone to start suspecting something going on between her and Harry, so as to make Harry suspicious.

After all, Harry is a smart boy, but she blessed his daftness when it came to girls, because she wasn't ready for him to find out about her evolved-crush, not wanting to ruin their friendship if he rejected her.

Hermione didn't hear what Fleur said to Harry but when she bent down and kissed him twice on the cheeks she immediately felt her face flush with rage, approaching the point of outburst similar to that she had had with Krum.

How dare she!! That stupid, bimbo-ing, incapable, self-absorbed, pretentious - but her thoughts were cut short by Ludo Bagman's magically magnified voice booming around them, making everyone jump.

While he started awarding points to the champions Hermione tried to calm her jealousy down. Watch your jealousy flares, she told herself, he's not your Harry! Well at least not yet… she thought wryly, a dreamy smile coming across her face. She shook her head, You've got to watch it, it's the second time you've overreacted over something like this.

==

During the Yule Ball.

==

She watched as he danced with Parvati on the dance floor, completely clueless as to what to do. Parvati might find it annoying that he didn't know how to dance, but Hermione thought it was cute to see how much effort he had to put into it and quietly wished she were the one teaching him how to dance. He was so handsome in his dress robes, she wished she could walk up to him and tell him she got so dressed up just for him, that he was the guy she woke up for in the morning, that he was the boy who was on her mind day and night.

Suddenly she felt a hand move down her back, and turned to see Krum's harsh Bulgarian face smiling back at her. Not that he was ugly; he had a chiseled face, with a strong jaw, and a ruggedness that came with his age. But he was nothing like Harry, he didn't have his charm or his bravery, to say the least of the differences.

But beggars cant be choosers, and no one else had asked her, so she had said yes and gone with Krum, after all, the whole point of this tournament was international magical cooperation, and he had a sweet shyness to him after all.

The song changed and she saw Harry and Parvati walking back towards the tables, well more like Harry dragging Parvati away, and all Hermione wanted was to follow him. But Krum grabbed her arm and lead her deeper into the crowd of dancers, so that they were all sandwiched together in front of the stage, some dancing rather stupidly, and others just swaying with the crowd.

She couldn't see a thing, except for people's backs or arms here and there, and of course Krum who was doing a weird sort of chicken dance. She barely managed to stifle a laugh, she didn't want to hurt his feelings but it was hard to keep a straight face when he put his hands behind his neck and started to sort of thrust his body back and forth.

The song finally ended and she rushed out of the crowd, not wanting to be squashed again. She was just about to move towards Harry's table when Krum emerged from the crowd just in time to stop her and tried to pull her back in, but Hermione couldn't go back in there, it was like a moshpit at a metal concert, or like an overcrowded water park. She laughed at the prospect of explaining water parks to Krum and simply said she was thirsty and asked him to get her a drink.

As soon as he went off she looked towards Harry, and saw him looking at her, a strange look in his eye. Why is he looking at me like that? she asked herself, a smile drawing itself across her face, and she quickly wiped away the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead, strangely they had appeared after the dancing, as soon as she had met his gaze.

“ -Oh what? So you're going to be nervous around him now!?”, she mentally battled with herself

“- Well it's not my fault that he has that effect on me, it's those eyes, those emerald green eyes they just -“

“- Yeah, yeah, whatever, get a grip, wave at him, get his attention and go say hi!”

She did as she had told herself and waved at him and then started walking around tables and chairs to get to him. But as she moved, she noticed that his gaze didn't follow, he was still staring at the same spot.

“- Maybe he's day-dreaming” the confident voice in her head spoke up.

“- Ehem, it's night time now, how do you expect him to be DAY- dreaming at night?” the smart-ass voice commented.

“- What, you expect me to say he's NIGHT-dreaming? How stupid is that!”

“- OY!! Let's get back to the present party shall we? Coz while you've been bickering, he's still staring at the spot where we were” another voice sprang out.

With all the noise the band and dancing people were making, plus the silly voices in her head, Hermione's head was starting to hurt. She closed her eyes and began massaging her temples. Then the last voice that had spoken said:

“You do realize how stupid you look just standing on the spot with your eyes closed while everyone's dancing right?”

She growled frustratedly and opened her eyes. She finally made up her mind, that is to say quieted all the voices in her head, and followed Harry's gaze to see what he was so longingly staring at.

“CHO!!!” the voices all shouted together, and each one started defaming her, each with their own `researched' vocabulary.

“WHAT!! He's staring at HER!!” a voice towered over the others “ How dare he! I spend hours getting ready! Putting on make-up and doing my hair, I spend galleons on a dress, and HE'S staring at other girls! And plus he's looking at that pretentious idiotic man-enslaving thinks-she's-queen-of-the-world - “

“- Well she's in Ravenclaw so she's not really an idiot is she?” the smart voice butted in.

“GAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Hermione's mind exploded as the voices rambled on. She got very red in the face at the sight of him staring at her and would've burst out screaming if that wasn't what she was doing inside her head,

“I seriously need to get myself something to release my stress” one of the voices said, unheard by all the rest, since the voice was still exploding in her mind. “Maybe a diary..”

She took a few breathes and calmed down a bit, as she regained her composure, she was still rather pink in the face, but her boiled blood was slowly returning to normal, and her face was slowly becoming normal again.

She decided not to let this little detail bother her, and went to draw Harry's attention to her, and maybe see if he wanted to dance. Normally she wouldn't be so forward, but she had to show-up Cho, even if she hadn't really done anything

As she approached him he finally turned his attention to her.

“Hi” said Harry. Ron didn't say anything.

“It's hot, isn't it?” Said Hermione, acting as if the dancing had been the cause of her face getting all red. “Viktor's just gone to get some drinks.” She didn't know why exactly she mentioned him, but she wondered if it was some inner irrational desire to make Harry jealous.

She was just about to ask him if he wanted to dance when Ron cut in and started accusing her of betraying Harry, to help Krum. It struck a nerve in her already stressed out mind and a huge row ensued, effectively ruining her chance to ask Harry, along with her whole night.

==

Back to the task

==

…Mr Potter's score is forty-five points” boomed Bagman's voice at the end, catching Hermione by surprise. She quickly recovered however, and started clapping hard with the others, beaming up at Harry's incredulous figure.

Krum made one last attempt at Hermione's attention, but was shot down once more.

She had eyes only for Harry.

[I put voices in her head because I needed a bit of dialogue, normally it would be a friend who would argue with her, but since she's told no one, I have to insert voices in her head. But I personally think she would have inner battles, seeing as she had been used to being friendless. Anyway that's all, plz take the time to leave a review.]

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5. Finally Getting Bolder

[A/N: So, fifth year, here we go, once again, bold=not mine=JKR's, happy reading]

Chapter 5: Finally Getting Bolder

==

One night, not long before their departure for school.

==

“5 years Hermione!” one of many voices said inside Hermione's head “It's been 5 years since you first started liking Harry Potter, and where are you now? Hmm?! You're not his girlfriend, you're not his ex-, you haven't even TOLD him what you feel for him!”

“Well,” another voice tried reasoning “I'm one of his best friends, before I was just a nobody and now at least I'm closer.”

“Oh whoopti-fucking-do!” the first voice retorted “Your relationship is as platonic as a man and his pet. Although maybe not Filch. Except that in your situation, it's all one sided.” The voice retorted, sounding remarkably like Cho.

“But you can change it! TELL HIM THAT YOU LIKE HIM!!” said another, kinder, voice.

“I'm trying!! But every time I gather up the courage it's never the right moment!”

“Yeah, every time you gather up the courage, he's either asleep and it's 3 a-clock in the morning, or he's miles away from you, and you're day-dreaming about him” the Cho-like voice taunted her.

“Oh yeah!? Well I'll go tell him now then! Ha! How do you like that?!” the third voice said, taking charge.

“Oh, please, be my guest!”

Hermione flipped off the covers and was just about to get up when the voice added:

“It's 2h30 in the morning by the way, just so you know…”

She sighed while replacing the covers. Hermione was lying in her bed, and it was indeed 2h30 in the morning, she was having another inner-debate about Harry, and about her feelings for him. They were becoming more and more frequent, and she was getting more and more frustrated that she was getting nowhere, her shy side always overpowering her daring side. She also made a mental note to read up on hearing voices, because these inside-her-head arguments were getting outrageous.

It's true it had been 5 years since she had fallen for Harry, and it had passed through crush, “evolved crush” and now she was slowly realizing that she was actually falling in love with him. True they had never gone out, but she knew him better than most did, the only exception being Ron, and they had done so many things together, that it was pretty much impossible not to fall in love with him.

“I bet even Ron loves him in a weird non-homosexual brotherly best-friend-ish kind of way” she mused “and we mustn't forget Dobby! I bet those socks Harry gave him will never be the same again after what I imagine Dobby did to them.” She smiled in the dark moon-lit room.

“I guess no one is safe from falling in love with the Great Harry Potter” she sighed inwardly “Let's just hope I tell him about my feelings before Ron tells him about his” she thought, the smile lingering on her face for a moment. She could just imagine Ron trying to explain how he felt to Harry, how hilariously awkward he would be.

“If only he had been made prefect, then that would have created perfect opportunities for me!” she lamented.

“Yes yes, we know you wanted that, I think everyone in Harry's room at Grimmauld Place that day knows it too” a voice responded.

Hermione blushed at the memory, slightly ashamed and embarrassed.

She was in her and Ginny's room in Grimmauld Place, quickly opening her school letter, to see the new books they would need. She took out the two pieces of parchment, tossed the usual reminder of term starting on the first of September, and looked at the book list.

She was slightly disappointed at seeing only two additions for the year but stared at the second book on the list. “Defensive Magical Theory,” she thought, putting emphasis on the last word of the title “there must be a mistake, there must be another book that we have to buy that covers the practical area of DADA…”.

She decided to go see what the boys thought and was about to put the letters back into the envelope when she noticed it was heavier than usual. She looked inside it, wondering what more the school had sent, and her breath got caught.

“YES!! Yes! Yes!” she screamed in triumph, making Ginny who was lying on her bed next to her jump, though not as high as Hermione was jumping at that moment.

“What is it Hermione?” she questioned, her head bobbing slightly as she followed her best friends progress of hopping around the room.

She was lost for words, she couldn't really say anything, and she was just too excited, and just flashed the red and gold badge. Ginny's reaction was much similar and she jumped and hugged Hermione, congratulating her, and joining her in her hopping about.

When they separated Hermione rushed to the door, to go see if Harry had been made prefect. “He must have been,” she assured herself “with all he did there's no way he could not have been made one! Oh it'll be perfect, we could patrol together, and could spend so much time together alone at night, oh how romantic! And maybe we could go near the astronomy tower, and go near the tall windows, where it's most illuminated, and maybe put some pillows on the floor, and then we could - “

“DAMMIT HERMIONE!” a frustrated voice said in her head and she let out a breath she wasn't aware of having held. She realized she had been standing outside the boys' door and quickly bashed open the door in excitement.

She scanned the room, her eyes dashing from Fred to George to Ron and finally Harry, who was holding the same badge as her in his hand. A few moments of hesitation and she bounded on him, crushing him under her flying mass of bushy hair while screaming.

“I knew it! Me too Harry! Me too!”

But Harry wasn't hugging her back, and gently pulled her off him, and told her that it wasn't he who had been made prefect, but Ron. Hermione's happiness took a serious slicing, and her smile fell, her night time patrol dreams were blown apart. She refused to comprehend the situation, and continued stuttering, while her mouth fell open wide.

“I...I...well...”

She quickly realized her tactless behaviour, and tried recovering, but failing desolately, as her face turned redder than the badges she, and now Ron, were holding in their hands.

“Aw crap! This ruins everything!” she thought, while still trying to fix her slip-up, and praising Ron to a certain extent, hoping they would all overlook what had just taken place.

“Anyway, got to get to sleep now, long day tomorrow” she recited in her head, for what seemed to be the billionth time, since she always ended her night-time Harry-debates with the same phrase. And she fell into a deep sleep, her dreams undoubtedly resplendent with images of Harry, and probably the moonlit pillow-covered floors of the astronomy tower.

* * * * *

==

In the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid `introduces' them to his half-brother Grawp, the loveable lumpy giant.

==

“GRAWPY, NO!”

A great big earthy hand was reaching towards Hermione, and she was so terrified that she just stood there, her face livid, all blood leaving her and going somewhere else in her body, so that she was as white as the clouds above. The look on her face resembled the one she had when she faced the troll in first year.

Pure terror.

With lightning fast reflexes worthy of his seeker position, Harry seized her around the waist and pulled her back, pinning her behind a tree, effectively protecting her from the huge hand, which was now grabbing at thin air, missing their tree only by inches.

They could hear Hagrid shouting and scolding Grawp from behind the tree, and decided he could handle it on his own and just stayed where they were, away from Grawp's grasp.

Hermione clung to Harry with all her strength, involuntarily shaking and whimpering, her eyes close to tears. His arms were wrapped protectively around her, and she could see he was listening closely to what was happening with Hagrid and Grawp, because he always stared blankly into space when he did that. She suddenly went all numb, all her muscles relaxed, and she fell into exactly the same state as the one she had been in that night 2 years ago. Once again she could feel his scent engulf her, like a lovely warm duvet wrapped around her, her eyes were half closed and she let out a long content breath, just to inhale an even bigger one, filling her lungs with that wonderful smell that was Harry's.

“You've got to pull yourself together!” the daring voice inside Hermione's head said “or better yet, pull YOURSELVES together!” it paused “Pull him in for a kiss! Come on, you're already so close to him it'll take practically no effort”

“WHAT! You think that if I can't even say I love him that I'll be able to just randomly kiss him!” the shy and rational side replied.

“Well that's what Cho would've done!” the voice said tauntingly.

“OOH THAT'S IT! It's ON! I will bloody snog him senseless, THAT will show little-miss-stuck-up how platonic our relationship is!”

Hermione carefully shifted in Harry's grasp, positioning her head closer to his.

“This is it…I'm gonna kiss him.

“ I'm gonna kiss those lips that I've dreamt about so many times, I'm finally gonna get somewhere with him, this is it…” she thought frantically, her heart suddenly speeding up.

She could see everything so close, his scar somewhat hidden beneath his jet black coloured bangs, his eyes glinting with determination and courage, and a few beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

And just as she was leaning in, just as she was about to finally do what her heart had wanted her to do for so many years, just as she was about to snog him senseless and fulfil her heart's desire, he poked his head around the tree, and she completely missed his face, and just stuck her face in the side of his shoulder.

She frowned, gritting her teeth and tightened her fists. “OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!! WHAT THE HELL!!” and she continued mentally cursing as she thought of every insult that passed through her mind.

If she had had any blood left in her face she was sure it would've filled up her cheeks, she was so utterly embarrassed. Luckily Harry didn't notice her crash-and-burn attempt; he was still peering around the tree, checking if the coast was clear.

“Nice one” the Cho-like voice taunted.

“Oh don't you start!” another voice warned.

Hermione finally composed herself, her face finally regaining its normal colour, and turned to see what Harry was looking at, though still keeping her head against his chest, she at least deserved that little compensation for such an embarrassing and failed attempt at a kiss.

Hagrid was staring up at the sky, pinching the bridge of his nose, and she could see his face covered in blood. She concluded that Grawp had hit Hagrid in the face, and effectively broken his nose. Normally, she would've rushed to his aid, but the circumstances were such that she just couldn't get herself to move from her spot of comfort.

Eventually they started back towards the castle, Hermione moved out from Harry's embrace, without showing her reluctance of course. She may be getting bolder, but that doesn't mean she had to be foolish, she'll show him she loves him when she's ready, the moment must be perfect. Sadly, perfection is an elusive prey, and can easily be chased away by any wrong occurrence. It would be quite a fair few months before Hermione finally professed her love to Harry.

* * * * *

==

Department of Mysteries.

==

Hermione flew through the air as she was thrown into a bookcase by the Death-Eater's spell. The contents of the bookcase rained down on her head as she was pelted with a multitude of heavy books.

“Ironic that those things you love so much can hurt that much huh?” said the Cho-like voice that she never managed to get rid of.

“Oh will you please SHUT IT!!” one of the many voices threatened.

Hermione reflexively covered her head with her arms and curled her head forwards as the last few volumes fell off the shelves. She had sharp pains on her back and arms where the books had hit, most landing on their corners and digging into her skin. The initial slamming into the bookcase had taken her breath away, and she needed a moment to regain it.

“Come on, you can't let Harry down, he needs your help, you need to show him he can always count on you” thought Hermione.

Either way, slow recovery in a situation like this was impossible. As a Death Eater started shouting for others to come, fear captured her while courage overrode it, and adrenaline pumped through her veins, fuelling her muscles, numbing the pain, and activating her senses.

She got up and immediately silenced the shouting Death Eater, he continued moving his lips, but no sound came from him. He was then thrust aside by one of his comrades and she was just about to jinx him when Harry beat her to it. She was impressed by his speed and was in the middle of congratulating him when the dumb Death Eater came back and slashed through the air with his wand, leaving a flaming streak of purple fire in it's wake, which appeared replicated on Hermione's chest, going from her shoulder to her waist.

Her face froze and she felt as though a huge burning gash had been opened on every layer of her body. For her, everything suddenly appeared in slow motion, and every detail around her began to slowly disappear into darkness.

First all sounds faded away, as if she was being plunged underwater, everything became muffled and indiscernible. Then a dark shadow surrounded her view of the surroundings, so that the broken glass, the book shelves, the desks and the books, all were vanishing bit by bit, so that all that was left was Harry and the Death Eater.

As she turned to face Harry, believing these were her last moments, she wanted to tell him she loved him, to tell him that there was someone in this world who cared for him more than themselves, that he was not alone, but how do you say all that when you can barely see anything around you, and all is becoming dark?

Why is it that it is only in our last moments that we decide to say the most important things to the people that mean most to us?

It seamed as if hours had passed, when it had been barely seconds in reality. She wanted him to at least know how she felt, and even though it wasn't exactly the perfect moment, it was really now or never for her.

But sadly, she was denied her last wish, and all she managed to let out was the first letter of Harry's name, barely letting out a whisper of a syllable, and all she got out was a small “Oh” as though of surprise.

She then passed out and crumbled to the floor in a heap of bushy hair and robes, with the terrified look on Harry's face frozen in her mind. She faintly heard a voice calling her name, but she couldn't muster the strength to respond, and succumbed to the pull of darkness that was gently claiming her whole body.

“I didn't even get to tell him I loved him” a voice deplored somewhere in the darkness, and echoed around her, as if she was in a dark cave.

It was that, more than anything, that kept her from totally going into the numbing darkness eating away at her consciousness. It was that thought that drove her away from the numbing and calming sensation pulling at her consciousness. She was going to tell him, she needed to tell him, there was no way she would go without him knowing her feelings for him. It was her determination, her drive; in her mind, he was her reason for living at that instant.

[A/N: Sry for flashbacking so much in my story, but I wanted the beginning of the chapter to have that inner conversation, and so to keep chronology, I had to tell the prefect story as a flashback. Also, it doesn't say that Hermione hugs Harry during the prefect misunderstanding, but I made it so just for the interest of the story. Anyway, thx for reading, and please take a few seconds to review. Thx for reading!]

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6. Digging Herself a Hole

[A/N: Ah! Here it is, the dreaded book 6, *shivers* I tried to explain it as best I could, and I hope it’s satisfactory. I play a little between direct memories and related memories, ull get what I mean when u start reading. Hope it’s not too confusing, and good reading!!]

==

Dumbledore’s Funeral.

==

“How had it come to this?” she lamented, while watching Harry and Ginny walking away from the neatly aligned white chairs, hand in hand. Hermione was sitting in one of the back rows of the funeral, on a seat next to where Harry had been, with Ron on her other side, against whom she was now leaning her head, silently crying against his chest, letting the tears fall against his dress robes, while he awkwardly caressed her hair, trying to comfort her, and his own tears fell and mingled with hers on the soft surface of his robes.

But this was not where she wanted to be, was not with whom she wanted to be. No, the person she wanted to be weeping against, the person she wanted to be comforting her was walking further away, with another girl attached to his arm.

And she cried.

She cried for Dumbledore. Though she never really knew him as well as Harry, she still knew what a great person and wizard he was, and how important he was to Harry.

She cried for Harry, for the ordeal he must be going through, blaming himself for some mistake that only he could make out as his. Once more, someone had gotten close to Harry, and had been taken away. “Why does he have to lose so much when all he does is give” she thought, a few more warm tears waterfalling down her cheeks.

And finally, she cried for herself, for the hole she currently found herself in, and for the irony that came with the fact that she had helped dig it. The whole year she had been getting further away from Harry, completely the opposite of what her heart desired.

==

At the end of the previous year, when she thought she was on the edge of life, she had clung to whatever she could, just to be able to see him, and tell him what she felt for him. But when she had awoken, Harry was in no state to bear the burden of her love, already crushed under the loss of his godfather Sirius. To tell him she loved him at that moment wouldn’t have brought him the comfort she wished she could have given him, but would instead have given him yet another thing to worry about.

So she had postponed her declaration, thinking it for the best, and decided to give him time. “I’ll tell him eventually”, she would tell herself. After they parted at King’s Cross, she couldn’t stop thinking about him, worrying and wondering. And most of all she wanted to be able to be there for him, to tell him everything would be okay, to show how much she meant it, in person. But she had to settle for feeble ink scribblings, mere shadows of what she wanted to express to him. In letters she attempted to console him, knowing full well that he would not read any of it, and just amass a pile of letters, while wallowing in his depression. But she hoped he would pull through, she hoped he would not stay deep in depression, and maybe see the light, and see that others needed him, that she needed him. She hoped he would be rational, and see that it was useless to replay the scene over and over again and blame himself, that Sirius would not have wanted Harry to waste away.

When she arrived at the Burrow, and learned that Harry would also be arriving, she made a decision, that she should tell him then, when she saw him. She recited what she was going to tell him over and over again, analysing every single detail, every single flaw she found had to be eliminated. Of course she knew so much could go wrong, and that it all depended on how Harry reacted. She was done waiting, she was ready, and she accepted what the consequences could be, seeing the potential of a blooming relationship between them enough to risk the friendship they already had.

And on the night before his arrival, her heart was pounding, and her fingers were trembling with anticipation and dread. She felt elated because she was finally going to release her long held secret, and she also felt worry at the unpredictability of his reaction. All she could hope was that he would feel the same, or at least not turn her down or anything of the sort.

She went up to her room after dinner, thanking and complementing Mrs.Weasley on her cooking, and bidding everyone a good night. It was fairly early, and usually she never went to sleep so early, but she wanted to be well rested and fresh, so as to make the best impression on Harry the next day, and not have sleepiness hinder her declaration. She quickly changed into her pyjamas and unfolded the covers on her bed, when someone knocked on the door to Ginny and hers bedroom.

“Are you descent in there?” came a perky voice from outside the door.

“Yeah Ginny, I’m dressed” Hermione replied, recognising the voice as her best female friend’s.

The door creaked lightly as she opened the door and walked in, her flowing red curtain of hair swishing behind her. Only when she closed the door and assured herself that it was locked did she break the confused silence that had come to settle in the room.

“I kinda wanna have a private chat with you…”

“Of course Ginny, what about?” Hermione asked politely, sitting up on the edge of her bed and patting the spot next to her, signalling the redhead to sit down. But she waved it off and began pacing. Hermione was puzzled by her peculiar behaviour, she usually was so confident.

“Um…you remember how in first and second year I…ah…had a crush on Harry right?” she didn’t stop her pacing, and was now fidgeting with her hands, staring at the floor while walking in a ellipse in the centre of the room.

“Yeah…” She pronounced it lengthily, urging her to continue.

“Well…er…I know I told you it was just a crush and that it passed…but…I never really…um…got over him” and at that she stopped her pacing and looked at her friend, waiting for her reaction.

Though Hermione’s face and body language didn’t betray it, inside her a brutal battle was waging, her mind battling against her heart, the first deciding to see to why Ginny was telling her this and what she wanted from her, and her primal heart wanting to scream ownership of Harry Potter and declare her undying love for him while beating Ginny to a red-haired pulp.

As always it was her rational mind that won, and Hermione settled for a nod, showing Ginny that she should continue. She seemed more confident now.

“I know that you told me to move on, that he didn’t see me that way, and I tried! I did! I mean I went out with other guys and everything! But the more I tried to forget him, the more I realised he was the only one I wanted! I mean the guys I went out with were nothing compared to the Harry Potter”.

And there lay the depth of Ginny’s feelings. Hermione knew that Ginny wouldn’t love Harry as much as she did, because she didn’t know him as well as she did, and because she didn’t want the same thing from Harry. What she knew of him was what she read in articles and glimpsed briefly in the few encounters they had had together. And of course she was bound to feel something for him since he saved her life.

“Hey, don’t forget that you started having feelings for him when he saved you from the troll” a voice came up in her head. “True,” another one answered, “but that was in first year, and I’ve had 5 years to get to know him, and to see him for what he really is, not just the poster boy for bravery and victory over evil”.

“Um…if you say so, but why are you telling me this?”

“Because I need your help” Ginny replied, a desperate look in her eyes.

Hermione could faintly see where Ginny was going with this, but she wasn’t going to help her get there. All she did was nod again.

“I’m going mad, I can’t take it anymore, this image of little sister he has of me. It’s driving me out of my mind, I need to get him to notice me! And I’ve tried everything I could think of, everything! And it hasn’t changed anything” she sighed. “I’ve tried talking to him more, I’ve tried hanging around him more, I’ve tried insinuations, I’ve even been pretty forward a few times, and he STILL doesn’t see me as anything more than his best friend’s –“

“Ahem” Hermione interrupted indignantly.

Ginny redirected her gaze on Hermione, a confused and questioning look in her eyes, then after a split-second of hesitation she realised what she had said wrong. “Oh right, ONE of his best-friends’ sister”.

Hermione may want more of the relationship she had with Harry, but she was still proud of how close she actually was to him, and no way would she be overlooked just because she was a girl and boys are usually closer.

“I mean he hasn’t even looked at me below my eyes! What kind of a boy is he!?” continued Ginny.

Hermione snorted. “Goes to show how well Ginny knows Harry, if she thinks doing all of those things will attract his attention.”

Ginny seamed to think the snort was for Harry’s comportment, instead of mocking her own, and powered on. “And now, this is where you come in. I need you to get him to notice me. You’re the closest girl to him, and I’m not about to go to Ron for advice on how to get to snog his best mate.”

“So this is what she wants hmm…”pondered Hermione “she wants me to get her Harry”. This placed her in a difficult position, because if she said no to Ginny, then there would be no way to find an excuse that would convince her that it wasn’t because she wanted Harry for herself. And of course not only would it ruin her friendship with the girl, but Ginny would probably go into one of her famous raging fits and go and tell Harry about Hermione’s feelings for him. So, by saying no, she would lose her best female friend, and her perfect declaration would be ruined, and possibly her friendship with Harry as well.

But if she agreed to help Ginny out, she could lose her chance at having Harry, only to be replaced by Ginny.

Finally, Hermione decided that agreeing would be less risky, because it only posed a potential threat, whereas she was sure of Ginny’s reaction if she denied her request.

“Ok, what do you need me to tell you?” Hermione said in the end. And as Ginny’s face lit up, they embarked on a long discussion of all that is Harry, and what Ginny should do to get him. Countless times did Ginny gasp in surprise at certain descriptions of Harry’s personality, another reminder of how superficial her obsession with him was.

Hermione was confident that she could deviate Ginny from Harry, and that anyway he would never go for her. But she didn’t know of how determined and convincing the youngest Weasley could be, and could never suspect that by agreeing to Ginny’s request, she officially started digging a hole that she would find herself stuck in at the end of the year.

So of course, the next day when Harry arrived, she did not profess her love to him, and either way never found a moment when she was alone with him. She stepped down from her determination, and left a spot for Ginny to gradually take the spotlight in Harry’s life.

Another problem was added to the equation when he told her and Ron about the prophecy, because it appeared that the weight of the world did ultimately rest on his shoulders, and she was surprised he wasn’t crumbling under all the emotional torture and mental strain he must have gone through the last month.

Though he was not in a depression, and she was grateful for it, she noticed a slight dimness in his eyes, their brilliance slightly faded since the last time she had seen them. And his smile did not seem to reach as high as it used to. Her heart saddened. “Would he ever feel truly happy again?” she wondered. And it only furthered her want to make him happy. But now was not the time, he still needed time, and she would wait to get to Hogwarts, where they would be more apart from Ginny.

Meanwhile her red-haired friend was still bombarding her with questions about what to do with Harry, to the point where Hermione was even suggesting what she should say.

==

The months passed, and Hermione was slowly getting brainwashed by Ginny. Every night she would ask Hermione what to do, and every time Hermione would help, Ginny would blabber on about how perfect Harry and she would be together.

Hermione was never a very confident girl, except when it came to studies of course. And as more time passed, and Ginny got closer to Harry, she began to buy into Ginny’s words, and began to think that they truly were meant to be. Especially when she would see how he smiled at her. It was his old smile, his happy one, not the shards of it that he would flash at anyone else.

And because of how much she loved him, she wanted his happiness most of all, and so she stepped away from Harry, slowly realizing that he didn’t appear to need her anymore anyway. It broke her heart when Ginny and he got together, when they kissed in front of the whole common room, in a film-like embrace. “That’s the stuff you see in romance movies” she though sadly “the stuff that has a dream- like ending.” And she knew she had done the right thing for Harry, that even though she was in agony, it was worth it just to see that smile of his, even if it wasn’t for her.

==

Back to Funeral

==

And so she cried for her predicament, her partly self-inflicted predicament.

All she could wish now is that she would manage to get over him somehow. But in her heart she knew it would be impossible, a love like she had for Harry never completely went away. All she had left was hope, either that she would get over him, or by some miracle, he and Ginny would break up, and she would manage to get back into the passenger seat of his life, so that she may try to change the tides again.

She never expected the latter to actually happen...

7. Finally Getting What's Due

[A/N: So I decided to separate the two stories, coz I realized I'm pretty fond of the style of this story after all. This is the final chapter, hope you guys don’t find it too cheesy or soppy or maybe too fast. Either way, happy reading!]

Chapter 7: Finally Getting What’s Due

==

Bill and Fleur’s Wedding. The Burrow’s Backyard.

==

“This is depressingly familiar,” she thought, still seated in one of the many seats put out, as she spotted Ginny leading Harry towards the dance floor, hand in hand. She did however take pleasure in Harry’s reluctant expression.

She had learnt of their split on the train ride back, and had fought very hard to hide her delight. It was her second chance, her opening back into Harry’s life. For the past week that she had spent at the Burrow, Ginny had gone on and on about how she wouldn’t let Harry leave her behind, about how he ‘needed’ her, and usually it would be all Hermione could do not to snort at her friend’s delusions.

As Hermione had known he would, Harry completely blew Ginny off upon his arrival at the Burrow two days after Hermione, and stoically maintained that she neither knew what she would be getting herself into, nor would she be emotionally capable of handling it.

It seemed Dumbledore’s death had given Harry a cynicism that he applied to all situations. He appeared emotionless now, cold and calculated, always.

Well, almost…

Hermione awoke in her bed, half-covered by the moonlight bathed covers. She tried to get back to sleep, but it seemed to elude her. After a while, she gave up and got up to make herself a mug of warm milk. She didn’t know if it really did help but old habits die hard.

She silently descended the stairs of the Burrow and as she crossed the living room something caught her eye to her left. She turned to see Harry sitting in one of the armchairs, the moon reflecting off his glasses.

“Hey Hermione” he croaked.

Unsure whether to sit down near him or leave him with his thoughts, she muttered a shy “Hey” while shifting feet.

The silence was deafening to Hermione’s ears. The awkwardness was a deep reminder of how much they had drifted apart.

“You couldn’t sleep?” he offered. His tone held no hint of indifference, so Hermione sat on the couch in front of him.

“Yeah, I was going to make myself some warm milk. What about you?”

“I don’t trust my subconscious enough to sleep” he uttered with a resigned sigh.

“Nightmares?” she knew this was a rare thing for Harry, reaching out. He could have said ‘me too’, but he chose to give the extra detail, and Hermione would be there for him.

He paused. “Yeah, pretty much darker versions of my already dark memories.”

He didn’t want pity, he had simply accepted what he had gone through.

“You want to talk about it?” The question seemed stupid to her, but she was giving him a way out if he wanted one.

“Too many to talk about really.” He paused. She didn’t know what to say. “What scares me the most is that I know that soon, more will come, that I will go through even darker times, and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to handle it.” He snorted. “Some Gryffindor I am…”

She immediately reached for his hand. “It’s completely normal to be afraid, and you would be foolish not to be. You just have to have faith Harry, you will be able to get through it all. You– We” she corrected “will find a way.”

His brow softened as he gazed into her eyes, her determination touching him to an indescribable point.

There was something deeply intimate about the scene. It was like a rebirth of their friendship. Time passed by unnoticed, as both of them sat in a now comfortable silence, until Hermione shivered, and suddenly realized what little clothing she was actually wearing.

Her blush was almost visible in the dark room as she got up and moved towards the stairs. Just before her foot touched the first step:

“Hermione,” he called out softly, “thank you.”

No other words were needed.She continued on up and tucked herself back into her bed. She fell asleep easily, a warmth inside of her that no amount of warm milk could have given her, making sleep much less elusive.

That night went unspoken of, as did the next nights, where Harry and Hermione reaffirmed their friendship. They were very dear moments to Hermione, and they were what kept her jealousy at bay, as they showed her a side of Harry that she knew no one else would ever be able to see.

And so with confidence did she get up from her seat and walk over to the two teens swaying unevenly on the dance floor.

“May I cut in?” she asked in a most unwomanly way.

“Um, of course.” Harry said politely, hurt flashing across Ginny’s gaze as he let go of her. He then placed his hands gawkily on her hips, and she linked her hands behind his neck. His unease was so obvious that Hermione couldn’t help at laugh.

She took one of his hands and walked away from the swaying couples.

“Come on” she smiled at him.

His relief was blatantly evident as they made their way to where Hermione had been sitting, and where they would spend the rest of the night talking and laughing under the reproachful watch of a certain red-headed girl.

==

Night of Harry’s Birthday. Godric’s Hollow.

==

“Come on Harry, you’re of age now, we should celebrate!” pled Ginny.

Harry, Hermione, Ron and her were sitting in the living room of the newly repaired house and Harry had just finished opening his presents.

“Well, what do you suggest?” He didn’t like the devilish glint in her eye.

“You ever played truth or dare?...”

++

“Ok Harry, your turn,” Ginny said “truth or dare?”

After a moment’s thought and a glance towards Ron who now had his trousers on his head, he said:

“I think I’ll play it safe and go with truth.”

Ginny’s evil glint was back. “Time to show Hermione he doesn’t care for her as much as she thinks he does.” She thought.

“Hmmm, okay. Well then Harry, in all truthfulness, what would you do if Hermione here, died?”

The question was painfully blunt, but no one objected, the two girls raptly awaiting his answer.

Oh fuck. What do you say to that? What would I do if Hermione wasn’t here anymore? The thought was almost impossible in Harry’s mind, he couldn’t picture himself with an unreachable Hermione. And there and then, something finally clicked. Feelings that he had ardently been fighting finally became undeniable in his mind, and his mind realized something that his heart had been trying to get through for ages.

I love Hermione.

The words rang out in his mind. I love Hermione Granger.

But he couldn’t tell her. No way! It would destroy our friendship, it would be too awkward. All this of course in the span of a few hundred milliseconds.

“I would…” kill myself if she died. Can’t say that, must hide these feelings. “I would be um, really sad.” He said lamely.

His words hung in the air for a few seconds before Hermione got up and ran away from the room, a sob escaping her.

Harry’s mouth fell slack. What have I done? Ginny’s mouth twisted into a triumphant grin. Ron’s mouth opened to let out a sigh. “Mate, go get her.” The multiple meanings in his command did not go unnoticed by Harry, and they crossed gazes. Ron nodded and received one in return, and Harry got up, looking for Hermione.

It was Ginny’s turn to be slack-jawed as she watched him go.

He knew where to find her. He remembered two days ago when they had first explored the house how Hermione had said the balcony in what had been baby Harry’s bedroom, and evidently was now his, was her favourite part of the house, and that is where he sought her out.

His bedroom door was open and a lamp was on in the corner. He saw the sliding window-doors were open and a figure was leaning against the railing of the balcony, the lamp light not quite penetrating onto it.

He tiptoed forward warily, unsure of what he would say, but hoped it would come to him. As he drew closer, he realized she was till crying, her sobs audible. He hesitated, crying girls weren’t his strong suit, though he always seemed to attract them.

He stepped onto the tiled balcony fairly loudly so as to make his presence known, and the brown-haired mass flicked round as Hermione sought to see who was there.

Harry had expected to see anger, maybe mild hatred, surprise even, but as she focused on him through shiny chocolate muffin coloured eyes, his heart twinged as she seemed to despair even more. She turned her gaze back towards the dark view of hills and forests spread out in front of them, a few lit spots showing where houses were.

“Hermione” he whispered, “err, are you okay?” He could have slapped himself for such a stupid question that earned him a weak laugh and a sniff from Hermione, but no worded response, her eyes still fixed on the horizon.

“What’s wrong?” he tried.

“Oh Harry…” she sighed. He couldn’t tell if it made her cry more or less, her cheeks already soaked and her eyes brimming with unshed tears. He waited patiently for an answer he feared would not come.

“Do I really mean that little to you? That you would just feel ‘sad’ if I died?”

His lie that should have safeguarded their friendship was all but destroying it. She shivered then, and though he didn’t know if it was because of the cold or her thoughts, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed her head against his chest. Somehow, his mind told him it was the right thing to do.

She instantly wrapped her arms tightly around his back and clung to him like she never wanted to let go, her sobs intensifying and Harry’s shirt quickly getting soaked.

He had a choice to make. Either maintain his lie and scar their friendship, or tell her the truth and risk their friendship as well.

Words started flowing from his mouth that he didn’t realize he had thought to say, but that strangely came naturally. He was finally listening to his heart.

“You know, they say there are two kinds of love,” he began. Not the best beginning to a love declaration but she didn’t laugh or make any sound. “there’s romantic love, where you want the other person, which is what I had for Ginny, “ and at the mention of his ex-girlfriend Hermione tensed, but still did not interrupt him. He was glad she understood he had to let it all out in one go. “then there’s rational love, where you want another person’s happiness, which is what I feel for Ron.” He pronounced his best-friend’s name with a certain finality, which Hermione took as a sign that she could speak.

“And me?” she asked tentatively, the side of her face resting on his chest.

He knew the importance that rested on his answer and so paused for a second, this though did not help Hermione’s doubt.

“Well you,” he smiled “you’re a mixture of both.” And at that he looked down to meet her questioning gaze, to show the sincerity of his words through his own.

“When we were in first year, you kept nagging us in the beginning,” he said with particular fondness, ”but no matter how annoying and frustrating you were, I couldn’t help at see what a good person you were, and you were pretty much the first girl to speak and be nice to me, so the neglected little boy inside of me immediately had a crush on you.” He never broke eye contact, and he mentally thanked her good sense to let him finish. He did notice her perking up at his last words.

“Of course, there was no boy shier than me, so I didn’t do anything about it did I? And I was eleven, I had barely passed considering girls were from another planet.”

“The more I got to know you, the more you endeared to me, and it also helped that you stopped nagging some.” She smiled at that. “But, in the summer before third year, Ron confessed to me that he liked you, that you getting petrified affected him quite a bit, and well, he’s always been my best mate and he means the world to me. No girl was going to come between us, so whatever seeds of love that I had for you I buried deep inside and filed you under “Not Allowed” in my mind, you were Ron’s, at least in my head.” He added at her scolding look. “And they’ve stayed buried, but they’ve grown their roots, and I couldn’t help at indulge in the moments we spent alone together.”

“Those feelings, I realize now, had been slowly resurfacing over the last few weeks as we got closer again, and when Ginny asked me what I would do if you died” he felt her hold her breath “I couldn’t bear the thought.” She exhaled slowly. “If you died, I would collapse, break down, I don’t know what I would do without you there. And that made me realize what I had kept hidden and denied for so long.”

“I love you Hermione, and ever since I met that bushy-haired incredibly smart nagging little know-it-all on the train I haven’t stopped falling in love with you.”

It was an intense stare, and their lips were inches apart. He suddenly realized her whole body was pressed against his, and he could feel her breath on his lips. Her scent intoxicated him, the mixture of vanilla and lavender numbing him like it always did, and he leisurely leaned down.

Time seemed to stop as they were barely half an inch away from each other, nothing else existed except for the two of them. He knew she wanted this too.

And then it all went fast-forward. Their mouths crashed together in an intensely fiery kiss. Harry lowered his arms to her waist as Hermione slipped her arms around his neck.

It was the Hallmark-card Kodak-moment romance-movie-finale type of kiss. The type that people recall with fireworks and applause in the background.

They finally pulled away, breathless, and both with lopsided grins. The black-haired boy looked a tad dumbstruck, and the brown-haired girl had a dark glint of desire in her eyes. She licked her lips, and pounced on him as they shared a deeper, even more passionate kiss.

His surprise was very short lived, and he tightened his arms around her waist and lifted her up, to which she responded by linking her legs around his waist, all this without breaking apart of course.

He tried walking back into the room, but his foot caught the bottom ridge of the sliding windows and they tumbled backwards onto the floor. Two muffled “mphs” were heard and their foreheads banged together. Hermione jolted back and apologized before kissing his forehead.

This let Harry press his lips against her exposed neck, where he proceeded to lick, nibble, suck and kiss until he earned a delicious gasp from his brown-eyed love.

But she wouldn’t let him continue and pressed her lips hard onto his and started fumbling with his jeans buttons. Harry realized where she was going and had been unsure if she would have wanted to go all the way. Either way he knew his first time would be with her.

He pulled away, effectively receiving a growl of protest from Hermione which almost made him forget what he was going to say. “Wait…” he got out breathlessly. Hermione, it seemed, had other ideas and started unbuttoning her blouse while kissing his collar bone.

“I’m done waiting” was her simple reply. She pulled out her wand, waved it around in multiple directions and cast unspoken spells. The window closed, as did the door, and Hermione readjusted herself on top of Harry.

Barely a second and they were kissing once more, her blouse now unbuttoned and her hands back to his jeans. He pushed her shoulders back, breaking the kiss once more.

“What!?” she asked with frustrated indignation, the lust shining through her iris’. He had wanted to ask if she was sure, but he realized there was no need. Instead, he just uttered:

“I love you”

She was taken aback for about a millisecond and smiled. “Yeah, I love you too. Now shut up and get naked” she ordered disarmingly. He complied, as she followed suit, and for the first time, they made love, but it was surely not their last.

==

The Morning After. Godric’s Hollow.

==

Harry woke up in his bed with such an intense feeling of contentment that he hardly believed he wasn’t dreaming. Hermione was still sleeping next to him, facing him, her hair splayed out beautifully over the pillow. She was tucked tightly under the covers, and he gently disentangled himself to get his discarded pair of boxers.

He sat on the edge of the bed, and contemplated his next move. He could stay here with her and Ron, like they had planned to, and set up HQ in Godric’s Hollow, or he could run. Hermione was now prime target number one, and Harry did not want to put her in even more danger. If he ran, at least she wouldn’t be targeted so specifically.

But he didn’t know if he could trust anyone else but himself to protect her, for whether she was his girlfriend or not, she was still someone close to Harry, and so had maintained a bull’s-eye on her back.

He looked over his shoulder at his sleeping love, and all thoughts of running dissipated. The gush of happiness that he felt was undeniable, and he wouldn’t be able to stand a day without her there.

He thought he’d make them some breakfast while waiting for her to wake up and so walked over to the door. But just as he grasped the door handle, a high-pitched tone rang out in the room, and Hermione jumped awake, her wand appearing in her hand, aimed at Harry.

“Don’t you dare try to run away to protect me!” she said forcefully.

Harry cracked a smile at that and walked over to his slightly groggy girlfriend.

“Trust me,” he kissed her “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll face everything together.”

And so they would…

To think a simple little girl’s crush had started it all…

[ There we go! All done, so please leave me a final review so that I know how my story was. Feedback is the most important. Thank you very much for following the story, and sorry for any confusion due to my indecisions. Cheers all!]