Only Slightly Nauseating

Eternal Love LJ

Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 6
Published: 27/12/2006
Last Updated: 03/01/2007
Status: in_progress

An amusing version of Lily and James's seventh year at Hogwarts. Plenty of romance and plenty of fights. What could be better?

Chapters

1. Prologue I

2. Prologue II

3. The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

4. Beauxbatons

5. Care of Magical Creatures

6. Note Passing With Sirius Time

1. Prologue I

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

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Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 1

Title: Prologue I

POV: James

Word Count: 1414

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I guess that you could say that I, James Potter, am whipped. I am as whipped as cream and I am as whipped as eggs. Does that make any sense? Well, it doesn't have to make any sense, because I am talking about Lily Evans, who makes absolutely no sense what so ever.

She broke me apart and she tore me limb from limb. She dug deep into the depths of my soul and she found that little ting that got me off. She has all of the qualities I need in a nice, respectable woman, along with all of the other assets, if you know what I mean.

She's like a damn demigod. I wish I could say that she is flawless, but she does have one flaw. That one flaw would be that she finds it funny to turn my down. She seems to get this sick and twisted pleasure out of seeing me withering on the floor, thrashing around like a fish out of water from the pain of not having her love in my life.

Well, I mean, I am exaggerating a little, but the point of the matter is is that Lily Evans drives me crazy. She'll be the death of me, I can guarantee you that. Everyone says that I'm the problem in our little relationship of hatred, but would there be a problem if she just said yes? I don't think so, buddy!

Then there are the people who think I am just plain old crazy for thinking that I could get a girl like Lily. Well, if I can't have a girl that I want, then what kind of girls do I get? I think that it was an accomplishment of me to pick one girl, and, if I do say so myself, I have stuck with this one girl for a good solid three years. I may have an odd way of expressing my undying love for her, but it exists!

And let me tell you, this is a tiring job. No one wants to be turned down 286 times, and to date. No one wants to be called the turned-down-boy, and no one wants to be the laughing-stalk of the school. Not that I ever have been. Come on, I'm a Marauder for Merlin's sake!

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The sun was very annoyingly mocking me in my sleeping state late on that Thursday morning. It kept trying to get into my eyes and it kept trying to creep up on my from under my covers. Well, you know what, goddamn sun? I can defeat you! All I have to do is be smarter than the ball of eternally burning . . . stuff.

Yeah . . . that's not working so well.

The smell of waffles was wafting up the stairs from the kitchen into my bedroom, anyway. Fighting the sun was not worth missing waffles for, everyone knows that.

As I stood up next to my bed and experienced the normal morning dizziness, I looked over at the bed across the room from mine and found it very amusing that Sirius Black, one of the most promiscuous boys at Hogwarts, could be seen kissing his pillow in his sleep. "Oh, Martha!" he said as his sleep carried on.

After making a quick pit-stop in the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth, oh, and flashing a smile in the mirror, I walked down the stairs into the kitchen to find my mother being very motherly like and staking waffles smothered in butter and syrup onto a plate for me.

"You are so darling," I said, tucking myself in at one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Waffles were soon thrashed all over my face as I literally dug in.

"Hungry this morning?" my mother asked, a small smile on her lips.

"Hungry all the time," I replied, taking a sip of milk.

"Is Sirius up yet?" my mother said, getting another plate out of the cabinet.

"He was getting it on with his bed items," I informed my mother. "I guess he misses all of the girls at Hogwarts. He was moaning about Martha."

My mother chuckled and put the plate on the counter. "Dad owled last night," she said.

I looked up from my shrinking stack and replied, "What did he say? Can I see it?"

My mother shook her head. "It sounded very short and urgent. Moody is driving them harder than ever. He says he should be home within a week or two. He really wants to see you off to Hogwarts, but you know he can't make any promises."

I nodded my head and slowly began eating again. "Have they caught any Death-Eaters this time around?"

My mother shrugged her shoulders. "We have to rely on the Daily Prophet to answer questions like that. I'm pretty sure they were able to capture Pawliger and Wulff a couple days ago."

James nodded his head slowly, trying to remember the names. There were so many now a days that it was hard to keep track. "I think that I go to school with their kids or something."

"Yeah," my mother replied. "It's sad how many of them have kids."

There was a moment of silence except for my fork bumping against my plate before Sirius came staggering into the room like he was drunk.

"Sssup, fellas!" he said, his voice slurred. He messily took a seat at the table and banged his leg on his way down. "Sheesh."

"Good night sleep, Sirius?" my mother inquired.

"Guess so," he said, rubbing his knee. "Prongs," he hiccupped, "Do we know a Martha?"

"No," I said, trying to refrain from laughing. "But I'm pretty sure your pillow does."

He gave me an odd look before thanking my mother profusely for her slave labor over the stove just so he wouldn't starve.

"Didn't know I meant that much to you, that's all, doll-face," he winked and did a very good imitation of my own eating.

Soon after breakfast, the morning post arrived through our coincidentally closed window. My mother found it amusing when the owls ran into the windows. Her laugh tinkled as she retrieved the mail from the slightly injured bird.

"Hogwarts letter!" she announced happily as she handed each one of us our properly addressed envelopes.

"Cool," Sirius said, opening his over-enthusiastically. "Damn, I'm not Head Boy. How much you wanna bet that Moony got it?"

"He didn't," I said, my voice cracking like a twelve-year-olds. I stared at the note carefully that was clearly telling me false information. It was impossible that I had been made Head Boy! I mean, I put bunny terds in Dumbledore's soup! I wore turbans to class! I, James Potter, sneak out of school at least three times a week! Not to mention me helping Moony with his furry little problem.

"Right, Prongs, having premonitions over there?" Sirius asked.

"No . . ." I said slowly. "I got Head Boy."

I heard a plate drop and crack as it hit the floor. I felt wind pass by me as my mother ran to my side to read over my shoulder. "You . . . you really got it?" my mother asked. "James Potter . . . my little boy!"

"He's not so little anymore, ma'am! He's Head Boy!" Sirius said with sarcasm.

"That makes almost every man in the family," my mother said. "You know, that's how I met Dad. We were both Heads in our seventh year."

"But you were both in Gryffindor," Sirius pointed out, "How come you didn't know each other before then?"

My mother's eyes turned glassy and she replied, "Well, we knew each other before then, but not . . . like . . . that," she said slowly, a smile forming on her lips.

"Too much information!" I said, getting a little creeped out.

My mother left the room to owl the family, telling them the great! news. She went off muttering about how I might actually make her proud.

I sat there for a moment and thought about the responsibility I'll have during my seventh year. "You know," I said to Sirius, "I'm going to be pretty busy next year if I want to land Evans, coach Quidditch, and be Head Boy."

"Yeah, and you have to remember that you're a Marauder," Sirius pointed out.

"Evans . . . Quidditch . . . Head duties . . . and pranks?"

"Maybe we'll buy a time-turner while we're at Diagon Ally," Sirius suggested.

I shook my head and left the room, planning to fully enjoy the couple of weeks of freedom.

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A/n: Hey guys, what's up? I hope that you liked this chapter. Leave a review and be cool. The first two chapters will be James's and Lily's views on each other and a little bit of extra stuff. Just kind of starting the story off. It'll get better, I promise!

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2. Prologue II

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

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Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 2

Title: Prologue II

POV: Lily

Word Count: 1091

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My hatred for James Potter goes a little deeper than his persistent plans to court me. See, what most people don't know is that he stalks me. It's not normal when someone comes up to you at nine o'clock at night and says, "So, how was that banana that you had three weeks ago at breakfast?"

Maybe I exaggerate a little, but maybe I don't. My friends would say that I am crazy, mad, insane, for not wanting Potter. For not wanting to shag Potter's brains out. How could a normally functioning sixteen year old girl not want to get hot and heavy with the sexiest Quidditch player in the school?

Am I the only one in this school with some dignity? I guess my life is a little deeper than boys and sex. I like a good laugh, I love a good book, I don't mind schoolwork, and I really enjoy learning new things.

Plus, a lot of people think that my life revolves around James Potter. Stay away from James Potter. Turn James Potter down. Go boo James Potter at the Quidditch match. Go wish death on James Potter. Then, I get to go to my friends and complain about it all!

NO! In reality, I really never dwell all that much on James Potter. My brain is too full to have airy thought of James Potter floating around. I have depth and I have a meaning. Anyway, why would I think about him a lot? I don't have to talk to him a lot, and all he does is annoy me. I don't know about you, but if you're away from the annoying thing in your life, you don't tend to spend hours dwelling on the subject.

Like I am now. So, I'm going to say that I'm done. Finite.

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"Lily Evans, you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen," he whispered to me. I giggled in response and attached his lips to mine. I must say, it felt quite good.

He led me slowly over to the bed and began kissing down my face and he quickly found that spot on my neck that made me shiver. I gasped and giggled again, running my hands through his hair.

Suddenly, he stopped. He said, "Do you hear that?"

"What?" I asked, completely enthralled by the boy. He put his finger up to stop me and listened carefully.

Then, I did hear it. It sounded like an earthquake. The room started shaking and splitting in half. He was drifting away on the other block of room and I was staying put. He smiled and waved at me while he blew me a kiss.

I started to scream to him to come back and I tried to walk towards him. Falling down the crack . . .

I sat up in my bed with a jolt. I looked quizzically around my room and felt thumps of quake. I got up out of my bed when they didn't stop and opened the door to my bedroom. Oh, I thought to myself. It's just that Dursley kid walking around.

I rubbed my sleepy eyes and walked quietly to the bathroom and did my normal morning routine before heading down the stairs for some breakfast.

In the kitchen, Petunia was flaunting the fact that she had a man, and I couldn't seem to find little Mr. Prince Charming. Not that Dursley was anything of the sort close to a normal Prince Charming . . .

She had her hand on his shoulder and she was basically on his vast lap. His chin bobbled as he looked down at Petunia, probably wondering how he got such a skinny girlfriend. In fact, Petunia was almost skin and bones. She always claimed that it was his personality that drew her in, but after talking to him for about thirty seconds, I was able to figure out that Dursley was very much a prick. He was very confident in himself, which wouldn't be such a bad thing, if he didn't always talk about himself. He wasn't interested in you at all, no exceptions. You revolve around him.

"Vernon, would you like to have some of my pancakes?" Petunia asked, holding up her food filled fork.

Vernon shook his head and said, "I'd rather have my own."

I snorted into my napkin and began a peaceful breakfast.

Petunia ignored his request and forced the fork into his mouth anyway. She kissed him on the cheek as he chewed. "You're lips are chapped," was what he had to say about it all.

Petunia moved away from him slightly and felt her lips. She licked her lips and then shook her head, slowly finishing her pancakes.

I laughed out loud and Petunia shot me a death glare. My mother patted me on the shoulder, but she really had nothing to say. It's not like they she Dursley, either.

There was a tap at the window, and a Tawny owl appeared, perching itself on the sill. Petunia shrieked like a little girl and Dursley went onto rant about how owls are ridicules, preposterous birds.

"They always coo in the nighttime, but you never actually see them. They are a waste of my time, and I don't give a bloody hell if they can turn their heads all the way around. They are stupid, and they have no use for me! Do you hear this, Petunia? I never want to see an owl again! Get that pigeon away from me!"

"Yes, shookums," Petunia said, burying her head in her arms. She never liked owls either, but she had kind of gotten used to them after six years.

My mother unhooked the leader from the owl's talon and said, "Hog- um, it's a letter from Grandpa about his hogs."

Dursley's head shot up. "You're Grandparents' have hogs? My favorite great-uncle Patrick had a hog farm."

My mother clearly wished she never made up the little white lie and was dragged into a hog conversation with the most pleasant person in the world. Petunia seemed happy that they were bonding and she seemed to miss that we most certainly didn't have a grandfather who had hogs.

I took the letter and brought it upstairs so I could open it in peace. Closing my door behind me, I sat on my bed and tore the envelope open.

Head Girl . . . I got Head Girl! I jumped up from my bed and danced around my room, opening all of my windows and throwing my curtains open. Suddenly, everything seemed ten times better.

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A/N: How did I do? Let's face the facts here, it's harder to write about Lily's home life than James's, because James has Sirius and everything. Petunia and Vernon aren't all that great to write about . . . they're not funny in the slightest.

R/R please :) You know you want to!

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3. The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]

Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 1

Title: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

POV: James

Word Count: 2181

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The train rattled its way towards Hogwarts as I was happily staring at a wonderful little Lily Evans give a speech to the Prefects. She kept sending me worried glances that clearly were asking whether I was feeling all right and maybe if I had forgotten to take my medication this morning.

Oh, don't worry about that, Evans. I have a fever, and the only prescription is you!

"And, I have a list of the passwords right here, and make sure you remember them . . . you guys are Prefects for a reason. And fifth year Prefects are the ones that show the first years to the common rooms, remember!" Lily said, handing around the password sheet.

The Prefects started talking amongst themselves and I took the opportunity to start an enriching conversation with Lily.

"So, Evans, looking forward to a year of me?" I asked. "Now you can't get rid of me! This is like, the best thing since sliced bread."

Lily rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water. "Actually, I'm not looking forward to spending a good portion of my time with you. I know, shocking."

I just kept smiling at her. "You know you love me. You know you want me to give you the sperm to your babies, and you know that I'm a sex God."

Lily couldn't help but smile for a second and she turned to me. "You're head is the size of Kansas. Calm down, buddy."

My smile went up to my ears and I said, "I'm your buddy!"

Lily sighed and told the Prefects that that was all, and they were able to leave if they wanted, but we were still here for questions.

One of the Slytherins came up to us while all of the Prefects were still in the room and asked very loudly, "Are you sure that Dumbledore isn't on Floo Powder?"

Lily gave him a weird look and said, "No, I'm not, but why?"

"Because he made Potter Head Boy."

He nudged his friend in the ribs and they chuckled for a moment. I gave them a scowl and told them they were next. They were running out of the room for their lives. (Or not . . .)

None of the other Prefects had any questions, so Lily and I were able to leave the compartment and join out friends in the back of the train. Lily was very disappointed in her friends for choosing to sit in the Marauder's compartment.

"Welcome!" Sirius said as we opened the door. "You missed the trolley."

"Damn," I said, stealing one of Remus's Chocolate Frogs. "This Head Boy stuff is a piece of cake. It'll be a synch compared to Quidditch."

"I wouldn't say that," Remus commented. "It actually gets pretty hard. Since you're Head Boy, you have to make all of the decisions like Hogsmeade and if the school is ever attacked, which looks pretty likely this year, you have to be there to help Dumbledore 24/7, not to mention your nightly patrols. Prefects only have patrol about twice a week . . . you get it every night. And you have the responsibility on your shoulders to do well in school, you know all of the younger kids look up to you. I'm not saying that you can't deal with it, I'm just saying you shouldn't expect this to be a walk over a rainbow."

Sirius snorted and repeated, "'A walk over a rainbow.' Classic one, Moony."

"Thank you," Remus said proudly.

The five girls on the other side of the room, Lily, Menelopy (El) Paramore, Juniper Eustis, Emberlynn Scarafone, and Hilaire Ruark (the only on the group not a Gryffindor, she is a Ravenclaw), were all sitting and talking contently until Sirius made the leap of his life over to them. He landed on Juniper's lap with his head on El's shoulder. He kicked Peter in the process and sent his right shoe flying into the air, hitting Moony's book.

I started to laugh as the girls exploded into protest.

"What the hell, Black! You almost knocked my eye out!" El shouted.

"You're like a freaking boulder! Jesus, how much do you weigh?" Juniper asked, trying to push the tub of lard off her legs. (Well, he really isn't fat, but he sure is bigger than Juniper.)

Emberlynn fell on the floor, dying of laughter. She snorted at least three times by now and couldn't breathe. "Merlin, Black, you're going to kill me!"

The door to the compartment opened the in walked Severus Snape with some of his cronies behind him. He surveyed the situation and his united eyebrows rose in horror. "I see that-"

"You're just arse, Snape!" Sirius shouted, standing up before Snape could even comprehend what he had said. "You are the tissue to my nose! The scum on my shoe and you're the T on my O.W.L.s! Leave!"

"You guys are going to get yourselves killed," Snape said. "I guarantee it." He walked out, his 'friends' following him and he slammed the compartment door closed after him.

"There," said Sirius. "And that's how you take care of a Snivellus."

"You guys are so immature," Lily said. "Would you just stop?"

Sirius turned and looked at my girl. "I love you, Lily. But you hurt me. You can't stop me from practicing my calling in life (which is Snivellus hunting)."

Lily shook her head and looked out the window.

This will be a long train ride, I thought.

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As the train pulled into the station, we all hopped up and began unloading our luggage from the racks.

"May I carry your bags, Head Girl?" I asked Lily.

"Absolutely not. That would mean that I trust you with my personal things. Which I do not."

I reminded her once again that she was going to have to deal with me all year and I think she shivered . . . but it was probably out of anticipation, not out of fear. Right?

Dropping our luggage off at the pile, we began looking for some carriages. El went up to one of the thestrals and started petting it.

"El, stop," Hilaire said from inside the carriage. "That's really weird when you do that."

El smiled and walked into the carriage, which also had Juniper, Emberlynn, and Remus.

Lily nodded to the five in the carriage and said, "Sure. I see how it is. I see . . . you're trying to kill me, aren't you? Well, I guess I'll just have to go to Black and Potter and Pettigrew."

"I guess you will," Emberlynn said, smiling as she closed the carriage door.

Lily stood, staring at the closed door, her jaw dropped. She stomped her foot on the ground and turned to face the three beaming boys.

"Shut up," she said, climbing into one of the vacant carriages.

"I wish I had friends as great as yours, Lily," Sirius said.

Lily sat there, her arms crossed, sitting as far away from Peter as she could in the seat, staring out of the little window provided.

I smiled and tapped my foot slightly on hers. She looked at me for a moment but didn't respond. I kicked her a little harder and she sent me one of her Death Glares. I winced a little and then did it again.

She turned to face me fully and kicked my shin really hard. She huffed and went back to the window.

"Ow," I said, rubbing my shin through my robes. I bit my lip and could hear Sirius chuckling next to me.

The torches glowing through the windows in the medieval-looking castle cast a romantic sparkle on the lake as we passed. I wanted to take Lily's hand, but then my shin gave a particularly painful throb, and I decided against it.

As the carriages stopped at the entrance to the school, Lily was the first one out and ran as fast as she could to try to find someone she could stand. She settled for walking with Cherohess (Hessy) Narayanan (don't even ask me how to pronounce that) and Carrie-Lee (Carrie) Alves from Ravenclaw.

"This is the year, Prongs," Sirius said, putting his arm around my shoulder and patting me confidently. "You have her wrapped around your finger."

"You think?" I asked.

"Of course!" Sirius said very sarcastically. He let me go and laughed his way up the steps. Peter caught up with me and we walked to the front doors, almost getting trampled by the crowd.

Peeves was there to greet everyone at the door. And, if you were really lucky, you got a food stamp, which in the language of Peeves is a smack on the forehead.

"I just don't know what to do, Wormtail," I said as we walked into the Great Hall. "I mean, I really like Lily and all, but maybe she's just . . . too stubborn. Maybe she's not worth all of the wait. I wish that she would just let me talk to her for, you know, a couple of minutes without her biting my head off."

Peter nodded and said, "You know, Prongs, this really might be your year, though. You're going to be spending a lot of alone time with her, and she has to do it, unless she wants to lose her position. Which we all know she would never want to do. She might not like you right now, but you're a pretty cool guy. I've known you since first year and I think that you and Lily would work out of you two hooked up. Just don't be so straight forward with her, you know?"

I nodded and punched Peter in the arm. "Thanks, Wormtail."

"Anytime, Prongs," he smiled.

We took a seat across from Sirius and Remus in our usual section of the table. The Hall was so loud that we couldn't even hear each other if we talked normally, so we just sat there and played Patty-Cake until Dumbledore hushed us.

"I would like silence for the Sorting, please," he said, smiling down at the students.

As the years go on, the Sorting seems to take longer, and longer, and longer. Sometimes I'll imagine that it was me up there getting sorted, and I'll try to remember how nervous I was, but it's getting harder and harder every year because Hogwarts is such my home now, I can't ever imagine feeling nervous about just entering it.

As the last student was sorted into Hufflepuff, Dumbledore stood up once more and made a short announcement. "I'll save the big speech for after the dinner, but I do have a very big announcement to make this year." His eyes were twinkling very brightly.

"TRIWIZARD!" Sirius shouted.

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "No, Mr. Black, I'm almost certain that the Triwizard Tournament has been discontinued."

"Aww," Sirius said, sticking how tongue out at Dumbledore.

"Tuck in!" he said, waving his hand over the hall, sending food into all of the plates.

"Merlin, I'm ravenous!" Sirius said, taking the whole bowl of chicken and eating. He took the potatoes and threw a couple of spoonfuls into the bowl and added a little corn plus half of the saltshaker. "Damn, this is what I call food."

We were all watching his with disgust. "Prongs," Remus asked, "What did you feed him over the summer?"

"Food," I replied, wincing as Sirius spilt some of his pumpkin juice into the bowl.

"I think I'll stick with the rolls," said Peter, taking the basket.

"Hey, you're going to share that!" Remus said, taking a couple.

"I'll be right back," I said, swinging my feet over the bench and walking down to where Lily and her Gryffindor friends were sitting. "My dearest, loveliest, most beautifulest lady in the whole wide world, may I have some of your chicken?"

Lily and her friends looked up at me. Lily replied, "Why don't you just eat your own chicken?"

I pointed down the table at Sirius and they all saw his devouring the bowl of chicken/potatoes/salt/rolls/pumpkin juice/corn and Lily quickly handed me her bowl of chicken.

"Just give it back before Sirius sees it, please," she said,

"Sure thing, doll face," I winked as I walked back to my seat.

After all of the food, desert and main course, was consumed, Dumbledore stood up once again. "I'll start off saying welcome, all new students, and welcome back, all old timers. I'm sure that this year will be a great one." He smiled and continued. "I would like to ask everyone, each and every one of you, to please consider what is happening out on the wizarding and muggle world this year. As we all know, Voldemort is at his highest point yet, and we all need to unite and fight against him.

"Now, on a happier and lighter note, Filch would like me to point out the list of objects not allowed in the school, or on the grounds. He has added a couple over the summer and they are very vital." Dumbledore coughed a little, signaling he was being sarcastic.

"Now, the big news . . ."

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A/N: CLIFFY! No, really, though. This is a good idea. I don't think I've seen this done anywhere else, and I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. I really hope that I don't disappoint you, and I don't think that I will!

R/R!

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4. Beauxbatons

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

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Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 2

Title: Beauxbatons

POV: Lily

Word Count: 1418

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"Now, the big news that I mentioned before," said Dumbledore, his mouth curving into a big smile. "It has to do with the Head Boy and Girl."

I smiled slightly to myself. He never mentions the Heads in his speech . . .

"This year, the Heads, who happen to me Lily Evans and James Potter, are going to be taking a cultural trip."

My heart sank down to my butt. Does he mean I have to leave school alone with Potter?

"Miss Evans and Mr. Potter will be taking a trip to the wonderful school of Beauxbatons for the month of November. They will get to experience what it is like to go to a school other than Hogwarts, which is a very important interaction to make. Now, the reason why I am telling this to the whole school is because of two things. First, you may be able to go on this tip, also. If this works out and turns out to be a positive experience, we will do this every year with the Heads from both schools. And yes, there will be some students from Beauxbatons coming to stay at Hogwarts. But the other reason is, is that the end of this little experiment, all of the students year four and up will be coming to Hogwarts for a ball."

The hall started to buzz with excitement at the thought of dancing with all those foreign kids.

"Quiet down, please," said Dumbledore. "Now, I know that you're all tired, but I do wish to say one more thing. Quidditch will have to be held back this year, seeing as Mr. Potter is the Gryffindor Quidditch captain-"

The hall instantly booed and groaned.

"Now I don't want to hear all that much of a fuss. This really only effects the month of November, which is never all that great of a month for Quidditch anyway. Now, off to bed with you all!"

The sound of scraping chairs was heard all over the Hall as the students began talking excitedly about the future ball.

It looked like I was the only one not pleased about this.

James instantly ran over to me and threw his arms around me. "Wow, Lily, I can't even tell you how happy I am! Oh my gosh, this should be so fun! I can't wait until November!"

I nodded my head gloomily and pushed him away.

He ruffled his hair and said, "Hey, where are you going?" He quickly caught up with me and said, "All right, Evans?"

I shook my head as we exited the Hall. He slowed his walking to match mine and asked, "What's the matter? Why wouldn't you want to do this? I mean, I would think that you would love to go to a new school and all."

"Yeah," I said, agreeing. "But you're not my first choice of company."

I felt said company stop walking. I turned around to see one of the most hurt faces I had ever seen in my life. He looked like he was going to cry. "You- you really hate me that much? That . . . you hate me so much that even something you would love to do is horrible . . . just because I'm there?"

I realized the impact of my words and my face softened. "No, James, it's not that, it's just . . ."

"What is it then?" he asked. "You know, Evans, you really are incorrigible. All I have done to you in the past couple of years is try to be your friend. Sure, I ask you out like a fiend, but I do know that you can't have a relationship with someone if you don't even get along with him or her. I really don't want to give up on you, Evans, because this year-"

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, could I have a word?" said the voice of Professor Dumbledore. James turned around and saw Dumbledore standing behind him. James cleared his throat.

"Sure, Professor," he said.

He lead us through the hallway into one with almost no people in it. "I am guessing that your summers were good?"

"Just fine," James replied.

"Mine was horrible, actually," I said. "My sister got this horrid boyfriend and she had him over the house all the time. It was not fun."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure this trip will raise your spirits," Dumbledore smiled.

Soon, we were in a hallway that I knew lead us to the Headmaster's office. We rounded one more corner and we were standing in front of the big statue that symbolized Dumbledore.

"Crumb cakes," Dumbledore told the statue and it sprang to life, allowing us access to his room.

"Please, settle in," Dumbledore said, gesturing towards a couple of chairs placed in front of his desk. "We have a few things to discus. Now, to make things go faster, it would be better if you just let me talk and establish the rules with you. Well, actually, first I should tell you the password to the Heads' common room. The password is Fibble-Jinx, which you should change about once a month or so.

"Now, about the trip. I know that this year is N.E.W.T. year, and that you will be under a lot of stress for that. But I can assure you that Beauxbatons will do its best to prepare you for it while you are there. The students there also have to take the test, and they will be studying just as hard as you are.

"Surprisingly, it is an English speaking school, so you don't have to worry about learning French or anything like that. All of the books in their library are also in English, so you may find that useful in your stay.

"This is a cultural experience, and I do hope that you will write to the school in general once or twice a week while you are there. I won't read the letters to the students, because I'm afraid that they would probably find it terribly boring and they would probably rather be eating their dinner.

"Quidditch is another problem. You have a lot of responsibility this year, James. I dubbed you Head Boy with confidence in your ability. Please, don't back out of anything unless it is absolutely necessary. You are allowed to train your team before you leave and of course, when you come back. You may appoint a temporary captain if you want your team to train while you are gone. Also, there will be no games at Hogwarts or Beauxbatons during your absence.

"At Beauxbatons, you will get assignments and you are expected to complete them. I'm sorry if they assign you things we have not covered yet, and I'm sorry if they assign things to you that you really don't want to do, but you are representing our school. Please do your best.

"While you are there, you will be staying in their Heads' quarters, which is much more lavishly decorated than our own, I must say. Their whole school is a bit fancier than ours, but I'm sure that you will be able to find your way around.

"Now, do you have any questions?" Dumbledore finished.

"How's the food?" James asked.

Dumbledore chuckled and said, "In abundant supply, Mr. Potter. I'm sure you will be very well-fed."

"They won't, um, have a problem with me being there, will they? Me being Muggle-born and all . . ." I said nervously.

"No, not at all," Dumbledore said. "The reason why we did this program with Beauxbatons instead of Durmstrang was just that problem. Durmstrang is a very prejudice and proud school."

"Oh, and what kind of classes do they have there?" I asked.

"The same as we have here . . . but I can't assure either of you that you will be in classes together, unfortunately. When you get there, you will get a schedule. I'm pretty sure that they will be based on the classes you are currently taking, but they may have to make some changes to it. You could always talk to the Headmaster if you are having any trouble."

"Aren't there Veelas in Beauxbatons?" James asked.

Dumbledore smiled and replied, "There may be one or two, but I can't guarantee. Remember, Mr. Potter, personality, not looks."

James nodded and smiled.

"Now, I will let you two go to bed," Dumbledore said, standing up. "If you think of any more questions, I'm always here."

We nodded and said goodnight, leaving the Headmaster's office and heading for the Heads' common room.

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A/N: I know, it was kind of boring. But I wanted to lay down the ground rules for the trip so I wouldn't have to mention it again and so it makes sense how they can just randomly leave school for a month. You know what I mean? Well, next chapter I want to have a fight with Lily and James (seeing as it will be the first time they will be alone, hehe) and the schedules and stuff like that. Should be a trip!

Till then!

R/R

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5. Care of Magical Creatures

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

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Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 3

Title: Care of Magical Creatures

POV: James

Word Count: 2160

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The walk to the Heads' common room was stretched by silence. Lily walked awkwardly behind me as I lead the way. I kept thinking of what Peter told me and I tried not to get too mad at Lily for what she said to me before we met up with Dumbledore.

'She might not like you right now, but you're a pretty cool guy. I've known you since first year and I think that you and Lily would work out of you two hooked up.'

'Yeah, but you're not my first choice of company.'

It looked like Lily had realized what she said after she said it. Maybe I was just overreacting. I mean, it's not like Lily's usually nice to me or anything. I should be used to this by now. Yeah, this is just stupid. I should turn around and apologize to her for freaking out and making her feel so bad. I should-

Wait, Prongs, what are you doing? Lily was the rude one, not you. She's the one who told you to screw off. She's the one who's done the mortal wounding here! She's the one who owes me an apology.

But . . . she did try to give me one . . . one of the first times she's been half nice to me in a while. But her niceness shouldn't be counted in this situation-

"Potter, are we almost there?" Evans asked, stopping short. "I'm really tired and we've been walking forever."

I looked around and realized that we had passed the common room about three minutes ago. Sensing that Lily didn't want to hear I had done anything wrong again, I just pushed past her and began walking in the other direction again.

"Oh, so we just walked passed it?" Lily asked. "Stay on Earth, Potter! You can't start losing it now."

"I'm not losing it," I grumbled. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Lily asked. "Are you planning another prank with your juvenile friends?"

I rolled my eyes and replied, "No, I was thinking about maybe apologizing to you for . . . I can't even remember anymore. It doesn't matter what I was thinking about, Evans, because what I do doesn't have anything to do with you."

Lily snorted and said, "Yes it does! Especially this year. And, maybe you never noticed, but you basically stalked me, so what you did usually did effect me, because it usually was about me."

"Don't flatter yourself," I said. "You don't know what you're talking about. And you say that I'm the conceited one."

"I've never called you conceited," Lily replied.

"Right . . . that was Sirius. But the point of the matter is is that . . . we've reached the Heads' common room."

I stopped in front of a portrait of a very old man. He resembled Dumbledore a little. His white beard wasn't quite as long and his nose wasn't all that crooked, but his spectacles were half-moons and he looked wary yet surprisingly up beat at the same time. He gave us a warm smile as we reached him.

"Password?" he asked politely.

"Fibble-Jinx," I said.

He let himself swing on his hinges and opened the passage to a magnificent room. The candles were placed in just the right places, creating just enough light to read, but not enough to keep you up if you decided to take a nap. The rugs were a rich tan color and the walls were full of portraits and little decorations. There was plenty of room for both Lily and I to do our homework and just chill out. I noticed that there were three doors, two leading to each of our dorms and one leading to a bathroom. The sofas and armchairs were placed neatly in front of the roaring fire.

To sum it all up, it was absolutely worth being Head Boy just to be able to use this room.

"Wow," Lily said, tracing her fingers over one of the portraits. "This is wonderful."

"It really is," I agreed, taking my robes off and throwing them on the sofa. I quickly took my shoes off and ran onto the couch directly in front of the fire.

"Ahh," I said, leaning my head back and relaxing for the first time all day. The warm air tickled my feet, warming up my whole body.

I opened my eyes and peaked up at Lily. She was looking at my shoes in disgust. "Um, Potter, in the future, could you please keep your hideous shoes away from me? I don't like them . . . or feet all that much."

She stepped over them and sat down in one of the armchairs. We sat in silence for a moment or two before Lily said, "Potter, we should talk about this year a bit. I have to deal with you a lot more than I would like to and-"

"Oh, don't get started with that crap," I said, sitting up. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture about how I'm a stupid idiot with no potential. You heard Dumbledore back there. He has a lot of confidence in me, and he wouldn't have made me head Boy if he didn't think I'd fit the description."

"Hah! Fit the description! Potter, you don't come within ten feet of the description of the 'model student' a Head is supposed to be."

I rubbed my eyes warily and replied, "This conversation is going no where, and I don't want to fight with you tonight, either. I think I'll just go-" I began to get up, but Lily stopped me.

"Well, maybe I'm sick of you being such a procrastinator! We're going to have to have this conversation, so sit down now!"

I eyed Lily wish caution and sat back down. "Don't bite my head off, sheesh."

She shook her head and said, "Well, if we don't tell each other exactly what we are expecting out of the other, than we will bite each other's heads off. And not just tonight, but all year long. I might dislike you, Potter, but it's a damper of my day whenever I fight with you, because I hate being argumentative. I hate confrontation and I hate it when people get on my bad side. You seem to do everything I hate everyday, all day. Maybe if we just talk about it, it can stop."

I sighed and covered my face with my hands. "Evans, if it were that simple, we would have been able to get along a long time ago. I wish I could say that I express the same want to have a little feeling expression time, but I just want to get to bed. Tonight might not be the best night."

"I just think that we can't be Heads together with the relationship we have now."

"Dammit, Evans! You're so bloody confusing! One second you'll do anything to get away from me and you're telling me you'd rather live in misery than live fully with me, and then the next second, you're telling me that we should sort out our differences and learn to get along! Well, guess what, princess, I'm not the one with a problem in our little 'relationship.' I'm the one who's been trying to do this for a good three years now and at least I actually mean it! You just want to succeed being a good Head Girl. Well, you want to know the truth about all of this responsibility that's been thrown at me this year? I think that I can do it. I can do it with or without you and I can blow everyone a mile away. I think that when this year is over, it'll be the best year that I've ever had at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, regardless of whether we got along or not. You've been a little speed bump in my life, Evans, but maybe I've finally gotten over it. Just loosen up, will you? Maybe if you just loosened up and went with the flow, you would see how everything around you is actually just how it needs to be. Open your goddamn eyes and let me go to bed. I will see you in the morning after I have had a very, very hot shower, and have enjoyed a series of dreams."

Lily was sitting there, looking at the ground, and a small frown on her lips. She didn't look up at me as I walked into my dorm and slammed the door.

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Surprisingly, I woke up in a very good mood. The sun was bright and the breeze was just right. Things were rhyming and I was humming.

My shower was indeed very hot and it was indeed very nice. There was no sign of Evans and for the first time in my life of knowing her, I was glad. I was glad that Evans was not there. I was so happy, I almost wanted to say it aloud.

Putting on my school robes, I walked out of the common room and headed for the Great Hall for some delicious breakfast. As I got closer and closer, the sound of happy, jolly students awaiting a year even more of happiness and jolliness got louder and louder.

I quickly found my Marauder buddies sitting in our usual spot at the Gryffindor table. Rushing over to them I rubbed Sirius's head before sitting next to him. "Howdy, comrades!"

They each gave me an odd look before returning to their breakfast of choice. I scooped out a bunch of hash browns and got a big glass of pumpkin juice.

"Full moon is tomorrow," Remus said. "At least it wasn't today, like it was last year."

Sirius instantly perked up. "Oh! Yeah, this will make my day! We have to plan what we should do. Where were you last night, Prongs? We could have planned it then if you were there."

"Heads' common room," I replied. "I don't have to stay there if you guys don't want me to, but I might actually want to use it this year. You know, to be away from all of the craziness and stuff."

"Yeah, well, we don't want you to use it tonight, okay? And we have to take full advantage of these little rendezvous now because this is our last year here. Oh, Merlin, we're getting old. And crippled. Oh, I can't get old! I'm too sexy to get old," Sirius said, touching his face.

McGonagall started walking up and down the Gryffindor table, giving the students their schedules. Once she stopped at us she sighed, "I can't believe that you guys have actually made it to your seventh years. Now, let's start with Mr. Black."

She turned to Sirius and Sirius said, "Minerva, you look quite dashing this morning. Maybe I could escort you to the Beauxbatons Ball?"

I laughed and McGonagall turned a light shade of red. "Stop being so childish, Mr. Black. Here is your schedule and I suppose you want to switch out of Care of Magical Creatures to make room for some of the more important subjects. Like Potions. Professor Slughorn would happily let you back in his class. He was actually wondering why you wanted to stop."

"It is not a matter of stopping and starting, if you will," Sirius said. "It is more of the matter that Potions is immensely difficult and I have better things to do than Potions. Like Care of Magical Creatures, for instance. Kettleburn and me are like brothers. He's the Marsh to my Mallow, and I would adore being in his class."

McGonagall rolled her eyes and said, "Just come see me when you want Potions back.

"Now, Mr. Lupin, what about you this year? Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration . . . well, you seem to have your priorities in order. Do you wish to change that?"

"No thanks, Professor," Remus smiled as he took his schedule.

"And, Mr. Potter, I am surprised that you're not joining Mr. Black in Care of Magical Creatures."

"Backstabber," Sirius muttered.

"You have the sane schedule as Mr. Lupin. You okay with that?"

"Just fine, Professor," I smiled. "Thanks."

"Now, Peter Pettigrew. Um, Charms, Herbology, Astronomy, Ancient Runes, oh, and Care of Magical Creatures, of course. What about Transfiguration? I would let you in, Pettigrew, and that's a compliment. No Potions, no Defense, not a good choice, Peter."

"I know, Professor. But I don't think I can handle the other classes," Peter said, a blush creeping up his neck.

"I'm sure you can," she said, changing his schedule without confirming it was his wish. "Here you go."

Peter looked down at his schedule and saw that it matched Remus's and mine. "I'm going to die this year."

"If anyone's going to die, It'll be me," I said. "You're smart, you can do it, Wormtail."

"Do you still have Magical Creatures?" Sirius asked.

Peter shook his head and Sirius looked very sad. "Curse her."

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A/N: I hope you liked the fight. If you want to call it a fight. Don't worry, there will be screaming fights later on in the fic when Lily and James get sick of each other's constant company.

And just so I don't have to mention it in the next chapter, Lily and all of her friends (El, Juniper, and Emberlynn) all have the same schedule as James and Remus, and now Peter. None of them chose to take CoMC either :)

I want to start making the fic funnier and stuff. Now that my OCD has stopped taking over, I can calm down and just have some really funny stuff happen to them.

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6. Note Passing With Sirius Time

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.

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Only Slightly Nauseating

By: Eternal Love LJ

Chapter: 4

Title: Note Passing With Sirius Time

POV: Sirius

Word Count: 1018

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I closed the doors to the school and breathed in a breath of fresh air. I smiled at the sky and skipped over to Professor Kettleburn's first class of the year. Me!

"Professor Kettleburn. Josh. How are yah doin'?" I asked. I took a seat down in the grass, waiting a perfect class.

"Well, Sirius, you are my only student in this class this year, so I guess we can do whatever you want," Kettleburn said.

"I want you to enrich my life with knowledge of the most fearsome creatures in the world. I want to shiver myself to sleep at night, thinking of your words. I want this class to affect my life in the best possible way, but scar my brain forever. Teach me, Kettleburn! Teach me!"

Professor Kettleburn scratched his beard and said, "Sure, Black. Let me go get my book."

We spent the rest of the period discussing the fascinating lives of Erklings.

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"How was Potions?" I asked James as we sat down in Transfiguration. "Care of Magical Creatures was just a blast! Did you know that Erklings like to eat children? They can get killed if you hit them hard enough over the head with a cauldron, though. That's really good stuff to know when you're six and getting attacked by them."

"It sure is, Padfoot. I'll be sure to remember that when I'm six again," James said.

Professor McGonagall walked out of her closet and sat at the chair behind her desk. "Welcome to N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration," she said. "You have made it a long way, and I am proud of each and every one of you."

Looking around the room, I noticed that there were only ten kids in the whole class. All of the seventh year Gryffindors, and Morpheus Byer and Orpheus Harris, two Ravenclaw boys.

"This year, you will be put to the absolute test. Your Transfiguration this year will have to be of one of your highest priorities if you plan on doing well on this section of the N.E.W.T."

Her speech was boring me beyond words, so I took out my wand and started twirling it between my fingers. I gave a huge yawn and leaned back in my chair. I looked down at my school bag and took out a piece of paper and a quill with ink.

Prongs, talk to me.

I handed the little piece of parchment to my left where James was. He looked at me and rolled his eyes.

No, I can't. I have to pay attention.

No, you don't, you fag. This is Note Passing With Sirius Time. There is no time better and there is no other time.

I'm the fag? No, really, Pads, I have to pay attention in class this year. I don't have any other time to read notes and stuff.

Who are you?

We'll be able to hang out and talk tonight and tomorrow during Full Moon.

I don't want to wait that long!

You just spent the whole entire summer with me and you're complaining because of one day without me?

You complete me.

Right. And I'm the fag.

At least I'm not the one with an elephant collection.

At least I don't have a Muggle stamp collection.

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Black! Do you understand the importance of knowing about Animagi?"

"Yes," we both answered truthfully.

"Alright then," she said, walking over to us. "Tell me; do you choose what animal you turn into?"

"No," James replied. "You turn into the animal that matches your personality best."

"And for the process to be legal, what steps do you have to take?"

"You have to contact the Ministry of Magic and inform them of what you are doing. Then, once the process (which is long and hard and complicated) is complete, you then have to tell the Ministry your individual 'sign', you might want to call it, and then they record it down with all of the other Animagi."

McGonagall nodded slowly and said, "And what animal do you think you would be, Mr. Black?"

"A dog," I said confidently. "Because I love to play!"

Everyone laughed a little and she said, "Okay, and Mr. Potter?"

"A stag," James replied, "Because I'm just so sweet."

"Well," McGonagall said, "You seem to know Animagi better than the other things we focus on in class."

She walked back to the front of the room and I sighed, crumpling up our note and muttering, "Evanesco."

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"I wish that Flitwick didn't give us any homework," I said as the Marauders sat down by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. "Then I'd have no homework and I could think about Full Moon."

"I can't do any of the homework tonight," James said. "I have to make this stupid chart for the Prefects then I have patrol for two bloody hours. Two hours! Who the hell thought of the idea to make two people walk around in circles for two hours! Every night! I don't know why Dumbledore thought I could do this. Or why he thought I would want to do this. I hate this. I hate this so much."

Just as James was finishing his rant, the Gryffindor girls walked in. "That's not what you said last night, Potter," Lily said.

As the girls walked up the stairs to their dorm, James smacked his hand down on the table. "Damn! She wasn't supposed to hear me say that!"

"Why not?" Remus asked. "Why would she think any differently?"

"Oh, I made a huge deal out of it last night about how no one can think I can do this and how it's not true and how I can deal with it all. Bull shit, it was."

"Have you asked Evans out this year yet?" I asked. "Maybe that would help if she said yes."

James pondered this for a second. "No, I haven't asked her yet. Maybe I should."

"Maybe you should," I said more firmly.

"I think I will. Tonight during patrol."

"Like it really matters when and where," Remus said. "That stopped mattering in third year."

"Oh, shut up," James said.

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A/N: This one was shorter than the others . . . but I think it's just fine. I wanted to make a loose chapter.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure that was right about the Animagi stuff. Point it out if I said anything incorrectly! Thanks.

R/R!

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