Rating: R
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Lily & James
Book: Lily & James, Books 1 - 5
Published: 27/12/2006
Last Updated: 02/01/2007
Status: Completed
100 ways to make Lily mad at James . . . and one more. (Lots of awesomely boss pick-up lines!)
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 1: 1-20
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Summary: The first twenty lines from James's bleeding heart. Oh, woe is James.
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James: "Miss Evans, you look absolutely ravenous today!"
Lily: "What!"
James: "Ravenous. You know . . ."
Lily: "Do you mean ravishing?"
James: "Umm . . . maybe."
Lily: "You better."
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James: "Me. You. Hogsmeade. Now."
Lily: "Potter, get a life."
James: "Fine. Me. You. My dorm. Now."
Lily: "Sheesh."
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James: "Hey, Evans, feeling all right? Because I know that I'm not. See, I have a fever."
Lily: "That's wonderful."
James: "And the only cure is you!"
Lily: Walks away.
James: "Wait!"
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James: "Evans, I have my head in a cloud. I'm thinking of you."
Lily: "I hope it rains today."
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James: "Evans! Come here often?"
Lily: "What's that supposed to mean?"
James: "I have no idea, but some people think it's a good pick-up line."
Lily: "Black?"
James: "Yeah . . ."
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James: "Oh! Where are my sunglasses?"
Lily: "We're in the common room. Why do you need sunglasses?"
James: "Because you are so luminous today."
Lily: "Give up, Potter."
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Lily: "Don't even start today, Potter."
James: "But . . . all the time is a good time to ask you out."
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James: "The string around my heart gets tighter and tighter every day without you, my beautiful Evans."
Lily: "Maybe it'll kill you one day."
James: "I love you too, darling."
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James: "Hark! I have an idea!"
Lily: "Amazing."
James: "Let's pretend that it's opposite day."
Lily: "Let's start with you not asking me out."
James: "Damn."
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James: "Every day without your love is like a day without air."
Lily: "I guess you'll die of lack of oxygen soon, then."
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James: "Evans, you're full of sugar and spice and everything nice."
Lily: "You know why you have brown eyes? Because you're full of shit!"
James: "I have hazel eyes, thank you very much!"
Lily: "Yeah, I know, but saying you're full of shit because you have hazel eyes doesn't make all that much sense."
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James: "You smell."
Lily: "Oh my God, like what?" Checks underarms.
James: "Good! You smell good! Merlin, Evans."
Lily: "Wow, you're really getting better at this, Potter."
James: "Why, thank you, Evans!."
Lily: "Sarcasm!"
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James: "If I could chose just one word to describe you, I would chose 'supercalafragalisticexbealodocious'."
Lily: "Umm, and why would you chose that word?"
James: "Because . . . well, it's long, and it sounds cool . . ."
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James: "Evans? I'm running out of pick-up lines."
Lily: "Already?"
James: "No! I was kidding!"
Lily: "Darn."
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James: Five seconds later. "Are you wearing space pants? Because you're ass is out of this world!"
Lily: "Oh God."
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James: "Evans! Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?"
Lily: "Are you saying that I'm a prostitute?"
James: "Well, I hope not, but if that's how it is . . ."
Lily: "Get lost."
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James: "Hey, Evans! I can see you."
Lily: "That's great, Potter."
James: "Great! How about tomorrow?"
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James: "Hey, Evans, hey! Come here!"
Lily: Walks over slowly. "Yeah?"
James: "There are 265 bones in your body. Want one more?"
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James: "Evans, I have changed my name to Milk!"
Lily: "Why?"
James: "Because I do the body good!"
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James: "You know, Evans, I barely even ask you out anymore. I just . . . say pick-up lines."
Lily: "Wow. No way."
James: "Do you wanna go out?"
Lily: "Yeah."
James: "OH MY GOD, REALLY?"
Lily: "No."
James: "Drat."
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A/n: There you go! The first 20! I hope you liked it! Tell me your favorite.
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 2: 21-40
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Summary: Lines 21 through 40. Should be a trip!
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James: "Evans, if you go out with me, I'll never ask you out again."
Lily: "Okay, I'll go out with you."
James: "Really?"
Lily: "Yes."
James: "Really?"
Lily: "YES!"
James: "Hey, girlfriend!" Giggle.
Lily: "It's over."
James: "What?"
Lily: "It's over."
James: "You're a meanie."
Lily: "Well, now you can't ask me out anymore."
James: "Well, you were a meanie, so I get to be one too."
Lily: "I'd like to see you try."
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James: "Hey, ex-girlfriend. Wanna get back together?"
Lily: "Supplantare!"
James: "Umm, okay, Evans, if you insist." Walks away and trips.
Lily: Laughs her butt off.
James: "Hey! I fell!"
Lily: "Hey! I tripped you!"
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James: "Damn! Evans, you must be a broom, because you swept me off my feet!"
Lily: "Hah, you made a pun."
James: "No . . . I asked you out."
Lily: "Telling me that I relate to brooms is not asking me out."
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James: "Evans, do you believe in love at first sight?"
Lily: "Sure."
James: "Than I guess I'll walk past you again." Walks past Lily again.
LIly: "Nothing."
James: "Drat!"
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James: "Evans, do you have a mirror in your pants?"
Lily: "No. Why?"
James: "Because I can see myself in there."
Lily: "You sick pervert."
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James: "Oh no! I'm choking! Evans! Help! I think I need mouth-to-mouth!"
Lily: Walks away.
James: "Where are you going?"
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James: "Lily, I think that there's something wrong with my eyes!"
Lily: "Well, you do wear glasses."
James: "I can't get them off of you."
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James: "Your parents should have named you Mickey because you're so fine!"
Lily: "You're parents should have waited a night."
James: "What?"
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James: "Evans, are you Jamaican?"
Lily: "No . . . why?"
James: "Because Jamaican me crazy! Haha!"
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James: "Are we related?"
Lily: "I hope not . . ."
James: "Wanna be?"
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James: "I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down."
Lily: "No."
James: "No? You don't want to turn me down? Great!"
Lily: "No!"
James: "I knew it! You have loved me all these years!"
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James: "Wow! Are you really that beautiful, or do you just remind me of myself?"
Lily: "I don't look anything like you."
James: "Oh. Yeah. I guess that one didn't work. Sirius!"
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James: "You're 'No parking', right?"
Lily: "What?"
James: "Just trying to guess your sign."
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James: "Evans. Do you like chocolate?"
Lily: "Sure."
James: "You can have my bar."
Lily: "Potter, that's gross!"
James: "What? I have a chocolate bar that I don't want." Takes out chocolate bar. "Sheesh, sick mind, Evans."
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James: "If I could rearrange the alphabet-"
Lily: "If you say you would put u and i together, I'll punch you."
James: "No! I'd flip and M and W."
Lily: "Cute, Potter."
James: "Why, thank you."
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James: "Woah, Evans! Are those real?"
Lily: "Potter!"
James: "What? Those flowers over there are really pretty."
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James: "You're so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get in your family."
Lily: "Wow. I didn't know you were gay. Plus, I don't have a brother."
James: "Sirius!"
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James: "EVANS!"
Lily: "What?"
James: "Stop, drop, and roll! You're on fire, baby!"
Lily: "No."
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James: "If the sun weren't here, you'd be the hottest thing on Earth."
Lily: "Sorry, but the sun isn't on the Earth.."
James: "Oh, then I guess you win! Prize: A night with James Potter!"
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James: "Are you a detective?"
Lily: "No."
James: "Aww, too bad, because I need someone to give me my heart back."
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A/n: a lot of pick-up's in this one. Tell me your favorite!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 3: 41-60
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Summary: And I already feel like there can't be any more.
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James: "Way to be, Evans!"
Lily: "What?"
James: "Hot!"
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James: "I love you more than bunnies."
Lily: "I hate bunnies, so I do too."
James: "Thanks, hon."
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James: "Do you like magic?"
Lily: "What do you think, smartie?"
James: "Because I have a magic stick."
Lily: "Immature."
James: Takes out his wand. "See?"
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James: "It's raining."
Lily: "Yeah."
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James: "Nickel if you tickle my pickle."
Lily: "Once again, I'm not a prostitute!"
James: "I have a whole jar."
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James: "I'm gay."
Lily: "I knew it."
Sirius: "That's why he likes you!"
James: "Padfoot!"
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James: "So . . . how am I doing?"
Lily: "Horrible."
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James: "Chicks dig me."
Lily: "Insulting."
James: "I wear colored underwear."
Lily: "Disturbing."
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James: "If I pet you, would you follow me home?"
Lily: "We live here, Potter."
James: "Never thought of it that way . . ."
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James: "I have big feet."
Lily: "I hate feet."
James: "Oh. You were supposed to get it!"
Lily: "I do get it."
James: "HAHA! You dissed yourself."
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James: "Evans, if I told you you have a nice body . . . would you hold it against me?"
Lily: "That was a good one, Potter. NO!"
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James: "Wow, your father must be a drug dealer because you're dope!"
Lily: "HAHAHA!"
James: "Is that a yes?"
Lily: " . . . No."
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James: "I got arrested once for bringing these guns to school!" Holds up arms.
Lily: "I'm getting sick of this . . ."
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James: "Do you like chess?"
Lily: "Sometimes."
James: "Be my queen and mate me with you knight moves."
Lily: "Not that much."
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James: "Hey. Evans, are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day!"
Lily: "Who the hell is telling you all these cheesy lines?"
James: "I make them up."
Lily: "Really?"
James: Embarrassed. "Yes."
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James: "Do you have a quill? My mother told me to write her when I fell in love."
Lily: "I don't have anything to say to that."
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James: "Did your head hurt when the angel dropped you from Heaven?"
Lily: "Did your head hurt when your mother dropped you on your head when you were a baby?"
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James: "Wow, it's really hot in here."
Lily: "Potter, you're standing next to the fire."
James: "No, I think it's because you're here."
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James: "I made a discovery!"
Lily: "What?"
James: "The sea is salty because you took all of it's sweetness!"
Lily: "Yeah, and it's spice, and it's everything nice."
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James: "Your hands are soft like a catfish's belly!"
Lily: "What the hell?"
James: "Umm . . . never mind."
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A/n: Running out of ideas. Haha. Tell me your favorite!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 4: 61-80
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Summary: Woahness!
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James: "I want to lick your skin off!"
Lily: "Please don't."
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James: "Honk!"
Lily: "Um . . . are you feeling okay?"
James: "Well, I still have a fever, but yes, I'm feeling fine."
Lily: "Why did you honk at me?"
James: "Because you're hot!"
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James: "Arr! Your boots shiver me timbers!"
Lily: "I'm not wearing boots."
James: "Come on! I don't even get props for pretending to be a pirate!"
Lily: "Arr."
James: "That was sexy."
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James: "Evans, you make my heart melt into my stomach."
Lily: "I . . . give you acid reflex?
James: "Of course not! I love you!
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James: "Should I skip the pick-up line today and ask for the slap right now?"
Lily: "Sounds lovely." Slap.
James: "Ow! I didn't think you would actually slap me!"
Lily: "I have a lot of pent up anger."
James: "Smack me again."
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James: "Woah, Evans, you're so sweet I'm getting cavities just looking at you!"
Lily: "Yeah, your teeth are kinds bad."
James: "What? Really?"
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James: "Hey, Evans, I like rice!
Lily: "You can't even try to make that one into a pick-up line."
James: "Yeah, I know."
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James: "If one million people were at one million type-writers, not in one million years could they write all of your beauty down on paper."
Lily: "They wouldn't write it, they would type it."
James: "Smartie."
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James: "Okay. Evans, get this. There are two trains and they're leaving different stations at the same time. They both need to travel 1,000 miles. Train J, which is Train James, is traveling at 95 miles an hour, and Train L, which is Train Lily, is traveling at 85 miles an hour. How long will it take for you to go out with me?"
Lily: "How come you get to go faster."
James: "Not the point!"
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James: "How about we play spin the bottle?"
Lily: "How about we play spin Potter and hit him with a bottle?"
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James: "Evans, why did the James cross the road?"
Lily: "The James?"
James: "Because you were there!"
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James: "Are those tick-tacks in your shirt or are you just happy to see me?"
Lily: Slap.
James: "Sorry."
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James: "Evans, you are my rose. I am your tree. But . . . our love will be our garden!"
Lily: "Good thing I hate plants."
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James: "Wow, Evans! You're my Lucky Charms because you're magically delicious!"
Lily: "Wow."
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James: "My love cannot be explained verbally, therefore, we should take a trip up to my dorm so I can demonstrate."
Lily: "Ew! No way, Potter."
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James: "If every thought I had of you turned into a rain drop, Noah would have to build another ark."
Lily: "Oh. I see how it is. You want to flood the world. Good going, Potter."
James: "No! That's not what I meant!"
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James: "Kissing is the language of love. We should talk more often."
Lily: "Leaving now."
James: "Okay sweetie! I'll talk to you later!" To strange person in common room. "She loves me."
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James: "I think I need to go to an institution because I'm crazy! Crazy for Evans!"
Lily: "Corny."
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James: "If you were a bottle of Firewhisky, my liver would have collapsed."
Lily: "Romantic!"
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James: "I'd die for you, Evans."
Lily: "Don't say that!"
James: "Too bad I love living with you!"
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A/n: Thanks to all the people who gave me some lines! They'll all make it into the story somehow, I promise!
Tell me your favorites! R/R!
Oh, and um, yeah, I've decided that I want to make this a 6 or 7 chapter story, and I've been telling people 5. Sorry!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 5: 81-100
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Summary: Only two more chapters after this one!
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James: "I want to see you cry just so I can wipe your tears away."
Lily: "That was sweet."
James: "I know."
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James: "Hey, Evans, do you have any raisins?"
Lily: "No."
James: "Cool, then we should go on a date."
Lily: "Logical, but no."
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James: "Mmm, Evans, your father must be an electrician because you turn me on!"
Lily: "Do you even know what an electrician does?"
James: "Um, turn things on?"
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James: "Evans, your body is like onions. It brings tears to my eyes."
Lily: "Are you saying I smell again?"
James: "No!"
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James: "Me. You. Twister. Firewhisky. Tonight."
Lily: "Barf."
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James: "Evans, you make Eskimos want air conditioning."
Lily: "An accomplishment."
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James: "If your hotness was equal to fire, the Earth would blow up."
Lily: "That's nice."
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James: "I not only lack in more pick-up lines, but I lack in you!"
Lily: "Aww! I liked the lines!"
James: "Do you want me to tell you the space-pants one again?"
Lily: "No thanks."
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James: "If I were a bear, I'd want your honey!"
Lily: "Who are you? Pooh?"
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James: "Oh, Evans, you dropped something."
Lily: "Say 'your pants' and die!"
James: "My jaw!"
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James: "I've had my shots!"
Lily: "They don't have shots for Chlamydia."
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James: "Evans! Evans, quick!"
Lily: Walks over slowly. "Yes?"
James: "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you?"
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James: "Ow!"
Lily: "What now?"
James: "I just bit my tongue. Can you kiss it and make it better?"
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James: "I'd like to take you out to dinner."
Lily: "Really?"
James: "Yeah. And I already know what I'd get. A cheeseburger with a little bit of you on the side."
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James: "Let's play doctor! I'm the gynecologist."
Lily: "Think we could get McGonagall to play with us?"
James: "Ew! No!"
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James: "Feeling good, Evans?"
Lily: "Yeah, I guess."
James: "Wait until you feel me. I feel great!"
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James: "Let's skip the awkward silence. Let's go out at 8."
Lily: "No."
James: "Darn."
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James: "If we die together, I'll hold onto you so we can both get into Heaven."
Lily: "Yeah, because you probably couldn't get in another way."
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James: "Roses are read, violets are blue, I would do anything to go out with you!
Lily: "Hats go on heads, hands go in mitts, I have yo say, man, you smell like-"
James: "Enough!"
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James: "Oh, Evans! I want to . . . roll you up in a hot tortilla shell and spread hot, steaming, taco meat all over your delicious body!"
Lily: "Gross, Potter."
James: "Ice cream?"
Lily: "Sure!"
James: "You're kidding."
Lily: "Yep!"
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A/n: Wow! 100 reviews? You guys ROCK! I love you all so much! Thank you for all the awesome feedback!
Oh, and today is my mother's b-day! Hooray!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 6: 101
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Summary: One-shot, baby! ONE MORE CHAPTER AFTER THIS!
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Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath before walking towards James, who was sitting by the window writing. He looked very concentrated, and his eyes were squinting.
"Po- um, James?" Lily said, feeling very awkward.
James looked up, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.
"L-Lily?" he said, not sure if he should approach her by her first name.
"What are you doing?" she asked, looking down at his paper, forgetting why she even wanted to talk to him in the first place.
James pushed the paper away out of Lily's view. "Nothing," he said convincingly.
Lily gave him the hairy eyeball. "I don't think so," she said. "Can I see?"
"It's just some homework."
"That's why you pushed it away when I asked what it was," Lily said.
James pouted and pushed the paper back towards her. "Don't hate me."
Lily grabbed the paper and started reading it.
"'If I had one hair for every time that I thought of you, I'd look like a Gorilla'," Lily said slowly. "James, are these pick-up lines?"
"That was my next one," James said, smiling.
Lily smiled down at the paper and said, "I don't hate you."
"Really?" James said, "Because even Remus thinks that you would have said yes by now if you were ever going to."
Lily started to play with the hem of her school shirt. "Potter, I don't want to talk about it."
"Oh, so we're back to Potter again? Come on, Lily! All I do is stand here and tell you funny things and compliment you and all you do is hate me . . . well, dislike me, and I just want to know what I'm doing wrong, you know? It's kind of deflated me, after all these years."
"Maybe you should think about what I like to hear instead of throwing comments about how I relate to onions in my face."
James laughed for a second, but then realized that Lily was serious. "I'm sorry, Lily. I just thought that girls liked it when guys were funny."
"I do like it when guys are funny. You just got off on a bad start with me," Lily replied.
"Okay, what do you like in a pick-up line?" James asked.
"Oh, come on, Potter. I'm not going to answer that," Lily said.
"Why not?" James said, "You tell me that I should pay attention to what you want, then you won't tell me! You're not cooperating, Evans!"
"Fine," Lily said. "First off, pick-up lines are for bars and hoes."
"Should I write this down?" James asked, smiling.
"Second," Lily smiled, "You have to sound like you mean it. Walking up to me and saying, 'Wanna go out?' doesn't have a lot of passion."
"Okay," James said.
"But, I don't want anything corny, like a fancy dinner with candle light. I like simple things."
"Like what?"
"Like cuddling," Lily smiled.
"Cuddling? I'll cuddle with you whenever you want," James said.
Lily continued smiling and looked down at the floor. "Um, maybe a flower."
"What kind?"
"A Dandelion," Lily said.
"What? Those are everywhere!" James said. "Why would you want that?"
"Because if you get me a Dandelion, I know that you went outside and got it yourself. Well, I mean, you could Accio one, but you can't go to Hogsmeade and buy me a bouquet of Dandelions."
"Okay, okay, you win. Go on. What else do you look for in a guy?"
"And I like it when a guy doesn't ask me out in front of everyone," Lily said, staring down James, who smiled, "Because then it doesn't put pressure on me to say yes."
"Okay, so nothing corny, Dandelions, no pick-up lines, passion, cuddling . . . anything else?"
"Would you just be yourself in front of me for once, Potter?"
Lily looked at him seriously before turning back around and sitting down with her friends on the other side of the common room, leaving James to think.
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It was two weeks later and exactly 2:06 AM. Lily was downstairs in the common room about to sneak out to go to the kitchens to get some hot chocolate when she heard the door to one of the boys' dormitories close. Normally, she wouldn't care, but ever since her conversation with Potter a couple weeks before, he's honestly all she's been able to think about. So with high hopes that it was James and not someone like Pettigrew, she stopped short of the portrait hole and waited for footsteps.
Soon, the messy hair that Lily had grown to like James's hands in, came into view. She let herself smile for a moment before quickly turning around and acting as if she was about to leave.
"Evans?" James's voice said softly. She closed her eyes for a moment before turning around again.
"Potter? What are you doing up?" she asked.
He shuffled his feet and said, "I . . . wanted to see the fire," he said, taking a seat on one of the sofas. "Isn't it . . . um, pretty?"
She refrained from laughing and took a seat next to him. "Wonderful," she said.
James sat there, trying his hardest not to look at her and not to be awkward. "What are you doing down here?"
"I was going to the kitchens," Lily replied. "I want some hot chocolate."
"Head Girl is sneaking out?" James smiled.
"Oh, yeah, like you can comment on that," Lily said.
"No, I really can't," James said slowly, realizing that he had said the perfect conversation ender. "Hey, Evans, can we talk?"
Lily looked sideways over at James and said, "Yeah, I think that we should."
"Do you like me?" James blurted out. "I mean- damn, um . . ."
Lily laughed and leaned back against the couch. "Yeah, I do like you."
James whipped around and said, "Really?"
"No," Lily smiled.
"Evans!"
"No, James, I really do like you."
"Prove it," James said, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Potter, I really like you!"
"How much, then?" James asked.
"All the way to that table," Lily said, pointing to the table in front of them.
James laughed and leaned back with her. "I think that you love me all the way to the moon and back."
"I think that you're full of shit."
James smiled and closed his eyes. "Well, I sure like you all the way to the moon and back."
Lily didn't respond, so James looked over at her. She was openly staring at him. "What?" he asked.
"You're . . . not being corny."
"One point for James."
Lily smiled and put her feet up on said table. "Fine, I like you all the way to Astronomy Tower and back."
"The lake and back?"
"The lake and back," Lily confirmed.
James turned and draped his legs over Lily's stretched out ones. "This much?"
Lily leaned over and put her face about five inches away from his. "This much."
James leaned in closer so their noses were touching and asked softly, "This much?"
Lily saw James close his eyes, so she pressed her nose harder against his, but then suddenly leaning back against the couch once more. "This much."
James sighed and laughed. "You're going to kill me."
Lily looked over at James to see him staring down at her hand on the sofa cushion. "You have pretty hands, Lily."
"You have weird taste, Potter."
He looked up at her and smiled, then took her hand in his and laced his fingers through hers. "I like you this much."
Lily smiled and squeezed her hand really tight. He instantly let go and tried to get his hand back. "Oh, so that's how much you love me, hah?"
"Ow!" he said, laughing and moaning at the same time.
Lily let his go and he started to message his hand. "Kiss it and make it feel better?" he pouted.
"You already used that one," she said. "Only it was your tongue last time."
"At least I didn't tell you that you smell."
"Like what?" Lily asked, a smile spreading across her face.
"Hey, we have a couple of inside jokes," James pointed out.
Lily's smile left and she said, "I guess we do."
"And that makes us friends."
"I guess it does."
James grabbed her hand again and said, "With benefits?"
"With respect," Lily said, taking her hand back.
"So . . . we're friends who like each other to the lake and back?" James said, laughing.
Lily laughed too and turned towards James. "Maybe you are kinda funny."
"Maybe you are kinda right," James said.
Lily laughed and hit him light on the arm. "Don't go on prattish on me again."
"Oh, so you're making up words to describe me? Prattish?"
Lily looked into the fire and said, "No. You have deflated this year. A little."
"A little? Aww, come on, Evans? Only a little?" James asked.
"To that table," Lily smiled.
"Oh, so we're gonna start with the table again? Maybe I should move it a little bit further away from you."
"Yeah, like closer to the lake."
James laughed and put his feet next to Lily's on said table. He gave it one big kick, making it almost reach the fire. "Hah!"
Lily turned to James with a playful shocked look on her face. "Oh no you didn't!"
"Oh yes I did!" he said, standing up and jumping over the couch. He raced over to the window and stuck his tongue out. "Whatchu gonna do? Hah? What? What?"
Lily laughed and ran over to him, almost knocking him over. He took advantage and laced his fingers through hers again, only playing Mercy for real this time.
"Damn, Evans, you're strong," he said, not wanting to really put any pressure on her.
"Why thank you," she said, twisting her hand around.
"OW! Mercy, mercy!" James said loudly. He smiled when she let go and he started ticking her. He attacked her sides first, then going up to her neck and ears.
James couldn't believe how ticklish Lily was. She was like an eel out of water. He had to pin her to him using his arm and one leg to make sure she didn't fall onto the ground laughing. When his hand touched her ear, she completely lost it and tears started streaming out of her eyes.
"Oh my . . . James!" she giggled, barely able to breathe. Her laughter was filling the room and James was happier than he had been in a really long time. He was making Lily cry, laughing so hard.
He let his hand stop and her giggles softened. He blew slightly on her ear and she started rubbing her ear against her shoulder.
"Do that again, Potter, and die," she said, catching her breath.
"What? Tickling you, or this?" He blew on her ear again and he could tell she was smiling.
"Both," she replied.
He turned her around using his arm and leg that were pinning her. She was about foot shorter than him. James was at least 6'2, and Lily was always complaining about her 5'3 height.
He lifted her up and her legs automatically, mostly out of protection, settled around his legs. "Potter, put me down! This isn't funny! No one's lifted me up in years, and I want to keep it that way! I'm falling! I'm slipping! Potter, put me down!"
James just laughed and brought her up to his eye level.
Lily stopped talking and James whispered, "You have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen."
He saw a little red reach her cheeks as she said, "Thanks."
James smiled evilly and slid his hand down her back to her bottom. She instantly went into more objections. "Potter, get your hands off my ass! Potter, stop it! Would you? Stop! This isn't funny anymore, Potter! Rape! Rape!"
James just laughed and moved his other hand into her hair. "I'm going to fall!" Lily said.
"Not with my hand on your ass," James reminded her.
"Yeah, you could stop that," Lily said.
"Make me," he whispered. He blew on her ear again.
"I'm too tired to fight right now," she replied and she put her head on his shoulder.
"But you were full of energy just moments ago," he said playfully. He pinched her bum and she squirmed around a little bit.
"Do that again and we'll have another problem," he said, a slight groan in his voice.
"Gross, Potter," she said sleepily.
James slowly walked over to the couch they were on before and sat down. She didn't move over or say any objections when he adjusted her and wrapped his arms around her.
"Cuddling," she whispered.
"Two points for James," he smiled, closing his eyes.
"Do you have any Dandelions?" Lily asked.
"No, sorry," James said.
"Oh, I guess you go back to zero," Lily smiled, trying to get out of James's arms.
"You're not going anywhere," James said. "I've wanted you to be on my lap for six years, and now you're here. You're not moving."
Lily looked up at him and said, "I guess so."
"I have passion tonight, right?" James asked, twirling her hair in his finger. "And I haven't said any pick-up lines."
"We've made references."
"Okay, now you're just looking for excuses. You can't deny that I have four out of five points," James said.
"No, there were six things," Lily said, snuggling in deeper.
"What was the other one?" James asked.
"Actually, there were two. Be yourself and you can't ask me out in public,” Lily reminded him.
"Well, negative one for Lily. That was only a little corny."
Lily smiled. "No! I have the same amount of points as you do."
"Passion? Do you have any passion for me at all, Evans?" James asked.
"Maybe I do tonight."
"What about tomorrow?"
"What about tomorrow?" Lily asked.
"Is this a one-night type of thing?" James asked.
"Were you implying again that I'm a whore?" Lily asked, smiling.
James groaned and put his head on the back of the couch. "You take everything I say the wrong way, Evans."
"I take it the funny way," she whispered.
"Are you tired?" James asked. He stroked her hair.
"Mmm," she said quietly.
"You . . . um, probably want to go back up to your dorm, then. You'd hate me for life if everyone saw you on top of me in the morning."
"On top of you?" Lily said, snapping out of her tiredness. "You make it sound like I chose to sit like this. You wouldn't let me leave!"
James looked at Lily in the eye. "Did you really want to leave? Because if you did, I'm really sorry."
Instantly, Lily felt bad. "No, I'm- it was- I was just-"
"It's fine, Lily. I'll see you in the morning," James said.
Lily got up slowly. She stopped and sat back down on his lap. "Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight, Lily," he said.
She leaned in really close so their noses were touching.
"You're not getting away this time," James smiled. He put his hand on the back of her neck and pushed their lips together. James could swear that his heart stopped beating for a full three seconds. I'm kissing Lily Evans, I'm kissing Lily Evans.
She broke the kiss off and kissed him on the cheek one more time before standing up. "Five points for James," she said. Her eyes were a little out of focus and she looked a little dazed.
"Five points for Lily," he smiled.
"I'll see you in the morning," Lily said, putting her hand where mine was a moment ago on her neck.
"Hey, Lily?" I said as she turned away.
"Yeah?" she asked, facing me.
"Maybe you'd like to have some breakfast with me . . . or maybe we could take a walk around the lake or something . . . tomorrow," James said, more nervous than ever about asking her out.
"Six points for James," she replied.
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A/n: Oh my god, I am SOOOO proud of this chapter! Leave a review!
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
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100 Ways to Get Rejected and One More
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter 7: Appreciation
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Summary: ATTENTION! PLEASE READ!
Okay, I promised another chapter and unfortunately, this is it.
IF YOU WANT MORE CHAPTERS, TELL ME!
Review and tell me so I know. If I get enough positive responses, then I'll make a sequel, only it won't be pick-up lines, it will be a continue of the last chapter. Give me some ideas on how I can write the story so I make you happy!
This is all of the pick-up lines that readers have sent in from both Fanfiction.net and Portkey.org.
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FANFICTIONDOTNET READERS:
Potterlady4691:
If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
Irishdancerfromroi:
James: Did it hurt?
Lily: Did what hurt?
James: When you fell from Heaven!
ChezE122091:
1) Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
2) Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3) Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
4) Do you want to see something swell?
5) Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
6) I'm conducting a field test of how many women have pierced nipples.
7) I've got a thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
8) My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your blouse in a public place
9) Want to see my hard drive? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
10) You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
11) True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place
12) You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
13) James: Do you sleep on your stomach?
Lily: No.
James: Can I?
14) How about you sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that pops up?
15) Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
16) Be unique and different. Say yes.
17) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on Earth tonight.
18) If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
19) That outfit looks good on you . . . but it would look even better in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
20) If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between holidays?
21) I wish you were a screen door so I could slam you all day long.
22) What so you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract out clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
23) James: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear . . .
Lily: Nice try, but I am wearing underwear.
James: Shoot, it much be an hour fast.
24) Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
25) Baby, you're so sweet, you out Hershey's out of business!
26) James: Are you a parking ticket?
Lily: What?
James: Because you have fine written all over you!
27) Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
Ikinder:
1) My love for you is like the Energizer Bunny. It keeps going on and on and on . . .
2) If you were a library book, I'd check you out.
3) You are the hottest thing since sunburns.
4) I was just checking your tag to see if you were made in Heaven.
5) If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
6) My watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
7) Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
8) Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa Clause what I want for Christmas?
9) You are like a clam; hard to open, but it's worth the pearl.
Kickasschicka:
1) (In response to my "I love you more than bunnies" pick-up line.)
James: "Yo, Evans! Have you ever kissed a bunny between the ears?"
Lily: "No . . ."
James: Pulls out pant pockets. "Would you like to?"
Lily: "I hate bunnies! I already told you! Gross!"
2) James: "If you've been naughty, Evans, go to your dorm!"
Lily: "I haven't been naughty, Potter. What are you on about?"
James: "If you want to be naughty, go to my dorm!"
Lily: "Oh, Potter, that's just wrong! Peter snores!"
3) James: "Hey, Evans. My bed broke . . . can I sleep in yours?"
Lily: "No, but I'm sure Sirius won't mind!"
James: Gags.
Lily: "You know that gag reflex?"
James: "Yeah . . ."
Lily: "I have one every time we talk."
James: "Evans! Come back!"
4) (Walking by the lake.)
James: "You're as hot as rock, Evans."
Lily: "Why, thank you. Since rock is usually cold. Thrown rock at James.
James: "Ow! I meant rock as in rock music. Isn't it popular with Muggles?"
Lily: "Sure, James. Sure."
Anonymous (credit to XdefyXgrvityX):
James: "Do you like water?"
Lily : "Um . . ."
James: "How about sugar water?"
Lily: "I guess . . ."
James: "Well, I got the sugar if you got the water."
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PORTKEYDOTORG READERS:
H/Hr Love (signed):
1) Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
2) If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
3) I just got my library card. When can I check you out?
4) Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away!
(A/n: Haha, that one goes along with the whole 'you smell' fight Lily and James have been having.)
Holly Black (signed):
1) Yo baby, you be my Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King. You treat me right and I'll do it your way.
2) Love is a sensation caused by temptation to feel penetration. A guy sticks his location into a girl's destination to increase the population for the next generation. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
3) You've got all the curves, and I've got all the angles.
4) Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Lina1989 (signed):
James: "Hey, Lily, I didn't know my mother and father-in-law had children . . ."
Lily: "Yeah, me neither. Who is the girl I should feel sorry for?"
Anonymous *Tessa (unsigned):
James: "It's my birthday. Can I have a kiss?"
Lily: "Is it really your birthday?"
James: "No. But can I have a kiss anyway?"
Alana (unsigned):
1) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.
2) Excuse me, do you have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
3) Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.
4) That's a nice shirt. Could I talk you out of it?
5) Your daddy must have been a baker because you've got a nice set of buns.
6) Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
7) Be unique and different. Say yes.
8) You make me so nervous and flustered. I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.
9) James: "I can't wait until tomorrow."
Lily: "Why not?"
James: "Because you look better everyday."
10) Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
11) Mmm, you bring a new meaning to the word 'edible'.
12) Can you kiss me on the cheek so I cam at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
13) If I had a knut for every time I saw a girl as pretty as you, I'd have . . . one knut.
14) If I had to make a patronous, you'd be my happy thought.
15) Love is a sensation caused by temptation to feel penetration. A guy sticks his location into a girl's destination to increase the population for the next generation. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?
kT (unsigned):
James: "Wanna make millions?"
Lily: "I guess . . ."
James: "Millions of babies!"
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A/n: REVIEW AND TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO DO A SQUEL!
Love you all!
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