Nobody's Perfect

dolfingurl

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 03/05/2007
Last Updated: 17/08/2007
Status: in_progress

Slight AU that takes place during 5th year. Hermione Jane Granger. To the world, she is perfect. But nobody is perfect.

Chapters

1. Prologue

2. Chapter 2

3. untitled

4. untitled

5. untitled

6. untitled

7. untitled

1. Prologue

A short prologue to entice you. If you want more, you know how to ask.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, there wouldn’t be any shipping wars going on, because Harry and Hermione would have gotten together a long time ago.

Hermione Jane Granger. To her fellow classmates, she is the motivated, dedicated worker, overachieving in class and encouraging others to follow her example. Always with her nose in a book, they would use to describe her. To her friends, she is the one who always manages to get them out of trouble, to save them whether they wanted her to or not. To teachers, she is the exemplary student. To the world, she is perfect.

But nobody is perfect.

2. Chapter 2

I looked at the pumpkin juice and tried not to calculate how many calories could be in that single glass. Before I had a chance to move it out of view, another hand took the pitcher and held it over my goblet.

“Would you like some pumpkin juice Hermione? You’ve been staring at it all night.” Harry, a true gentleman, began to pour the juice. I struggled not to show my disgust as the orange liquid spilled into the goblet. And I had to take at least one drink, or else I would tip Harry off.

“Thank you,” I murmured as I choked down a swallow. I felt like throwing up the second the goblet touched my lips, but that would have been a dead giveaway if I vomited in the middle of the Start of Term Feast.

“You haven’t eaten much. Are you okay?” Harry stared at my plate, which appeared to be barely touched. I had swallowed a few bites of food during the meal when someone would give me a look, but most of the food had just been pushed around to appear as though I had eaten it.

I tried to play off my abhorrence of the fatty foods in front of me. “I’m just not that hungry,” I said, hoping that my aching stomach wouldn’t give me away, like it had several times that summer.

At Hogwarts, I had never paid much attention to my weight, because everyone wore the same loose robes. But when I went home this summer after my fourth year and saw all the girls in my neighborhood in tiny bikinis, with their perfectly flat stomachs and thin legs, I realized how fat I had become. I looked in the mirror, and all I saw was a fat, ugly girl staring back at me.

I knew I had to loose weight, and the easiest way was to stop eating. I also became stressed as I prepared for the O.W.L.s coming up this year. As I tried to schedule out my study time, along with my classes and everything else that would be coming up this year, eating just seemed like a waste of time.

Over the summer, I had trained myself to ignore my starving stomach and withstand the temptations of my dad’s “famous” caramel chocolate cake and mum’s amazing home cooked meals. I began an exercise routine, including a two kilometer jog each morning, 20 minutes of weight lifting, and at least 10 minutes of relaxed stretching, like yoga, at night. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen much result.

Now, I’m back at Hogwarts, and trying hard to follow my new diet plan. I knew what everyone would say: “You’re already thin,” “Your plan is a little extreme,” or “Nobody really looks like those supermodels.” But I don’t care what they say, this is my life, my body, and I’ll treat it the way I choose.

“Well, now that we’re all fed and happy, I believe it is time to bid you all goodnight and sweet dreams,” Dumbledore stood and dismissed the students from the Great Hall. I closed my eyes in relief. Finally, sleep, a place to escape from my constantly growling stomach and recharge for the new year ahead.

The next morning, my stomach was quiet and still. I have finally regained enough control to train my body to stop asking for what it wouldn’t get. I’m not starving myself, if any of you are thinking that, that’s just plain stupid. I’m just being very careful about what I am eating. Carbohydrates and fatty meats are completely out. A few pieces of fruit at breakfast, some plain vegetables at lunch, and a small piece of very lean meat at dinner is all I need really.

As I pulled on my socks, just before leaving for my morning workout, Parvati addressed me. “Have you lost weight?” she asked, almost embarrassed. I knew why; she had seen me eat less at dinner last night and wanted me to feel better about myself by acting as if I looked skinnier. But I knew it was all a lie. My mirrors still showed the same fat Hermione, even if my weighing charms were saying I had lost weight; I should really worked on those.

“No,” I replied flatly, then slipped on my shoes and walked out the door to avoid further conversation.

3. untitled

Christmas was fast approaching, and I was dreading it. There was going to be a feast after the last day of class, and everyone around me would be pigging out, with me eating next to nothing and enduring the nauseating scent of the food all around me. The last Hogsmeade trip of the term wasn’t going to be a very enjoyable trip either. My parents love the Flossing String Mints, and had asked me for more, which meant that I would have to endure the sickeningly sweet smells in Honeydukes. I hoped to find some new clothes though. My clothes kept getting stretched out, and seemed to grow every time I put them on. I wish it was a sign that my diet was paying off, but the image in the mirror contradicted that every time I looked into it.

I saw the way people looked at me now, guilty about noticing my weight, and trying to hide it. Surprisingly, Malfoy had not offered any rude comments yet, but I wasn’t counting on that to last long. Just last night he looked like he was about to comment on my dinner, when he was stopped by Harry telling him to go away, which switched his attention to him.

“Hermione, come on. We’re heading out.” Harry beckoned me to follow him and Ron down the path toward the village. I followed behind at a much slower pace. My energy had been steadily declining, but that was to be expected. What with studying for O.W.L.s, doing my regular school work, organizing meetings of the newly formed D.A., and still trying to keep up with my exercise routine, my sleep was suffering, thus zapping at my energy level. I had to force myself to eat at all now; it was simply a waste of time.

“Hermione, would you like to get a butterbeer? It’s so cold out,” Harry offered as we past the Three Broomsticks.

“No thank you. I’m fine. You and Ron could go get some though. I need to go clothes shopping anyway, and you two don’t want to come along.” I countered his offer.

“No we don’t,” Ron agree, not wanting to spend hours watching me try on clothes.

“I don’t mind. Ron, why don’t you meet us in Honeyduke’s in an hour?” Harry was volunteering to go shopping with me?

“Whatever you say mate,” Ron replied, then headed into the warmth of the Thee Broomsticks.

“You really don’t have to come with me,” I urged, hoping that Harry was doing this out of a sense of duty to me.

“I want to. I’m interested to see what kind of clothes you’re going to get. Plus, it wouldn’t hurt to get Dobby a new pair of socks; I doubt how good of a condition his current ones are in,” Harry replied, obviously making an excuse up off the top of his head.

“Well, I’ll just be over here. Come get me when you’re done.” I headed off to the section selling women’s undergarments, knowing that no guy would follow me there. Or so I thought. Harry was on my every step like a lost puppy.

Frustrated with Harry’s constant pressure, I gave up. “I can’t really find anything I like. Let’s go get socks for Dobby.” Harry looked surprised but didn’t say anything. We found a pair of bright purple socks for Dobby and headed to Honeyduke’s.

“Hermione, do you want anything? I was going to buy some Bertie Bott’s,” Harry offered.

“No thank you. I’ll just buy those string mints for my parents.”

Ron joined us a short time later. The sun was beginning to sink low in the sky, and we walked back to school with steadily dimming light. As overwhelming smell of the feast assaulted my senses the second I stepped into the school, and made my head spin.

“Come on Hermione! We’re going to be late! I’m starving!” Ron yelled at me.

“You go ahead. I’ll be…” I didn’t finish my sentence before my vision went black.

4. untitled

A/N: Sorry this update is so late. School has been pretty crazy for me lately. The next chapter will come soon, I promise.

“Hermione. Please, Hermione, wake up,” A soft voice roused me from my deep sleep. I didn’t want to open my eyes; I was so comfortable. A sharp squeeze to my hand startled me enough to open my eyes.

“Miss Granger, I’m glad you’re awake,” Madam Pomfrey said from my right side. I turned to my left where Harry sat, holding my hand. He had a serious look on his face and I could tell that he was worried. Ron sat at the end of my bed, also concerned, but currently distracted with the chocolate frog card he had just discovered.

“What happened?” I asked, not understanding why everyone was so solemn.

“Miss Granger, you passed out. Your blood sugar level was extremely low when Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley brought you in. Do you know why that could be?” Madam Pomfrey fixed me with a steely glare. I knew if I told her the truth, I wouldn’t be out of the hospital wing until March, and I couldn’t afford to miss classes and everything else that would entail.

“I skipped breakfast this morning; I wanted to get some extra studying done before I went to Hogsmeade,” I made up a very believable excuse for me. “I was so rushed while we were in Hogsmeade, I just didn’t think about eating.”

Unfortunately, Harry refuted my claim. “Hermione, we offered to go to the Three Broomsticks and Honeyduke’s. If you were hungry, why didn’t you tell us?”

As Harry stared at me, confused, a light bulb went on in my head. “I don’t have any money,” I lied, trying to sound upset. “I didn’t want you to know.” I was amazed at my acting skills; Harry, Ron and Madam Pomfrey were buying it! Ron even had a look of empathy, something that surprised me.

“I’m so sorry,” Harry murmured.

“That’s why I was going to go shopping. I didn’t think you would follow me. I was just trying to avoid being surrounded by all that food.” Harry, luckily, did not remember my purchase of the flossing string mints for my parents.

“Well, I’m sorry about your financial situation, Miss Granger, but I feel it’s best to keep you here overnight. I think you need a couple well-balanced meals.” Madam Pomfrey stared pointedly at my mid-section. Even she could see the extra weight I was carrying around, and she thought I wasn’t eating right. She then shooed Harry and Ron out of the room, telling them I needed to rest.

I managed to swallow a few bites of the chicken and green beans Madam Pomfrey had set in front of me, but not enough to satisfy her. I stuffed the rest in my napkin to throw away when she wasn’t looking. When she went to the end of the wing to grab some pajamas for me, I quietly banished the full napkin to the nearest wastebasket. I didn’t want her to come back and see that my meal was barely eaten. She returned in a few minutes and looked satisfied at the empty plate.

“Just a few good square meals, and you’ll be good as new,” she commented as she took the plate away and left me alone to change. As I stood there with nothing but my underwear on, I couldn’t stand to see the fat and rolls that erupted from my stomach. I threw on the clothes as quickly as possible to hide the ugly sight.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, Madame Pomfrey let me go after feeding me a full plate of eggs, bacon, and several pancakes. This time, she had given me a plate that kept refilling itself, so I didn’t even have to pretend to eat the food. I just let her think that it had given me too much, and thereby didn’t have to eat a bite of the fattening foods. I rushed out of there as quickly as possible when she said I could go, and headed off to the Gryffindor Common Room, eager to catch up on the studying I had missed the night before. Though I wasn’t able to reach it before I ran straight into Malfoy.

“Watch where you’re going you Mudblood. What’s wrong, you’re running off those extra pounds you gained at breakfast this morning? You trying to be thin?” Malfoy sneered at me. With the jab that hit so close to home, I struggled not to allow Malfoy to see how much he hurt me.

“Just shove off Malfoy,” I replied, then continued my dash to the tower. Again, my progress was stopped, this time more pleasantly.

“Hermione, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, noticing the tears that had escaped from my eyes.

“Nothing, I… I just ran into Malfoy. He was just rude, like normal,” I replied. Harry gave me a pitying look.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of studying to get done,” I explained, then tried to push past Harry. He, however, grabbed my arm to stop me. He let go quickly, a horrified look on his face.

“Hermione, I think we need to talk. What are you doing to yourself?” Harry fixed me with a steely glare.

“What are you talking about? I was just going to go study,” I said, trying to play off what was happening. I knew that Harry had let go of my arm because he had felt the flabby flesh there that I had tried unsuccessfully to get rid of.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ve noticed a lot more than you think I have, and I can’t take another minute of it. Hermione, whatever you’re doing this for, it’s not worth it!” Harry stared at me and blocked my escape route by pinning me against the wall with his hands.

“Let go of me Harry!” I yelled at my friend. When he did not respond, I stomped hard on his foot. He let go, and I ran up to my dormitory, knowing he couldn’t follow me there.

Once safely inside my dormitory, I threw myself onto my bed. I allowed the tears that Malfoy and Harry had caused to flow freely. Everyone I knew recognized how fat I was, and wanted to point it out at all times. Even Ron was beginning to look at me differently.

“Hermione, Harry’s in the Common Room yelling for you to come down,” Lavender said as she walked into the room.

“I’m not talking to him. He’s a jerk that just needs to go away!” I yelled, just wanting everyone to leave me alone. I was doing all that I could, but nothing was working to get rid of those extra pounds.

“Hermione, if you don’t get down here this instant, I will find a way to come up there!” Harry’s voice rose from the Common Room. I ignored the threat, and buried my head deeper into my pillow.

“Hermione, I think you should go down there. Everyone’s gathering to see what all the fuss is about,” Ginny advised, her voice coming from outside the door.

I turned away from the door, stubbornly ignoring all the noise that was erupting around me. A few moments later, my head came up as I stared at the wide-open door to my room, and Harry standing in the doorway, his Firebolt sitting on his shoulder.

5. untitled

“Harry, what do you think you're doing here?” I yelled, surprised that Harry had found a way to by-pass the sliding stairs.

“I said I would find a way up here,” Harry said calmly, dropping his broomstick on the floor as he walked into the room.

“You can't be in here!” I screamed at him, wanting nothing more than for my former friend to leave me to my misery.

“I'm not leaving until I talk with you.” Harry stood his ground against my onslaught of screams. Ginny was currently watching from the doorway, but she and Lavender took a clue from Harry's tone and exited the room quickly.

“I'm not talking to you. Goodbye.” I tried to push him out the door with Ginny and Lavender, but I couldn't make him budge. After a few seconds, my lungs ached as I tried to take in more oxygen, and I felt extremely weak.

“Hermione, something is wrong with you, and I want to help you,” Harry said gently, leading me to my bed to sit down. A strange sadness was displayed on his face. He looked like he was in pain, and was trying to hold back the tears I could see glistening in his eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” I asked, not admitting to anything before Harry said something directly. Part of me hoped that Harry was concerned about me spending too much money, or something like that associated with why I was currently broke.

“Why are you hurting yourself like this? Why are you so concerned with being thin?” Harry clarified.

My eyes widened in surprise and I could barely contain the humorless laughter that threatened to escape because of my friend's blindness. “Harry, look at me! I'm huge! All I want is to feel thin and pretty,” I explained, tears welling up in my eyes.

Harry looked flustered and unable to come up with a response. “Don't even think about telling me I'm `perfect the way I am' or any other such crap, because I know people are just saying things like that to make me feel better. I know the truth; I'm an enormous teenage girl who will never achieve anything because I'll be judged by my weight.”

Expecting to get some sort of argument from Harry, I was surprised when I caught him deep in thought. “Hermione, if I can prove to you that you're not fat, will you stop with your crazy dieting and exercise?”

Knowing that Harry couldn't change the truth, I agreed. “You can try.”

Harry muttered a spell I had heard many time before, and a bright red 36 kg flashed in front of my face. “Harry, weighing charms are so inaccurate. I've been trying them on myself all term and they always grossly underestimate, just like this one,” I explained away the low number.

Harry thought for a moment. I saw him staring at some spot on the wall behind me. I turned around and saw myself and Harry reflected in Parvati's full-length mirror. “Come here,” Harry urged, and pulled my in front of my daily enemy.

“What?” I asked, irritated that Harry had chosen this spot to try to prove to me I wasn't fat.

“Just look in the mirror and tell me what you see,” Harry said, coming to stand behind me.

“I see what I see every morning; a fat witch in stretched out robes. The only difference is you're behind me,” I complied reluctantly to Harry's request. I saw Harry's reflection pull another thoughtful face.

“Oh yeah,” Harry murmured, his eyes widening in remembrance and insight. He pulled out his wand and conjured a large piece of parchment. “I saw this on one of those makeover shows my aunt watches,” he explained.

He pulled a quill off of my desk and handed it to me. “I want you to draw a life-size outline of yourself.”

I looked at Harry incredulously. “You want me to what?”

“Draw a life-size outline. Like those chalk outlines in all those movies,” Harry reiterated.

“You mean the outline of murder victims? That makes me so much more comfortable,” I stated. Harry just gave me a look and pointed to the paper.

I sighed and began to draw. A normal sized head on top of a fat neck, with thick shoulders extending to flabby arms. I returned to the torso and created the fat stomach that was the bane of my existence, followed by fat thighs that only slightly slimmed down to my feet. Though my drawing skills definitely leave something to be desired, I thought it was a pretty accurate picture.

“There,” I said angrily, still not knowing why I was doing this.

“Lay down,” Harry said, pointing once again at the paper. This time I actually did laugh in Harry's face.

“Why?” I asked, not believing that Harry knew at all what he was doing.

“Just do it,” Harry ordered, his voice sterner than I had heard in a while. I complied, still confused why he was doing this. Slowly, Harry sketched the outline of my body on the piece of paper. I sighed, knowing this would only prove that I had been generous about how thin I really was.

“Okay, you can get up,” Harry said after completing the final line around my feet. I stood up and stared at the paper in surprise. Harry had stepped away the instant he had finished, so I knew he couldn't have messed with it.

“That can't be right,” I whispered, completely unable to believe that Harry had sketched me accurately. But I had been able to feel the quill against my arms and legs as he had traced me.

“Hermione, if anything, I drew you too fat,” Harry murmured in reply. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I took in the image before me. The dark picture I had angrily drawn was enormous compared to the outline that Harry had done. I couldn't comprehend the pencil thin arms and only slightly larger legs on the paper as my own.

“What did you do to it?” I asked Harry, my anger reaching a breaking point. But something deep inside me said that Harry's drawing was completely accurate.

Harry insisted that he had done nothing, but I ignored his explanation and just allowed myself to fall forward into his arms. “What have I done to myself?” I questioned myself more than Harry. As he held me close, for the first time I realized just how thin I had become.

Harry pulled away from the embrace to take my hands in his. “This is not all your fault. I should have confronted you about this earlier, when I first suspected what you were doing,” he told me softly. I couldn't look him in the eye as he talked about all the things he could have, and should have done. Instead, I focused my gaze on my wrists; they looked as if Harry could break them in two with little effort.

“Hermione, don't worry, I'll help you,” Harry murmured.

I smile up at my friend, and felt something in my stomach begin to flutter. It wasn't hunger pains; I was all too used to those. It was something different, something special. As the fluttering continued and worked itself up into my chest, Harry began to lean down and his eyes closed slowly. With an equal amount of care and time, I closed my eyes and went up on tiptoes.

As our lips met, I knew the careful line between friendship and something more had been crossed and could not be salvaged, but I didn't care. I enjoyed the soft moisture of Harry's lips on mine, and just held on to the moment as long as I could.

“Hermione, are you alright? Harry was…OH MY -“ Parvati exclaimed from the doorway. Harry and I broke apart in haste.

“Would you like to join me for dinner?” Harry asked, effectively ignoring Parvati's interruption.

“Sure,” I replied, and followed Harry down to the Great Hall.

A/N: For those not familiar with metric, Hermione's weight was 80 lbs.

-->

6. untitled

A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long to update. My family just moved, so I didn't have time to write, plus I didn't have internet access for a while. I hope you enjoy this next installment though!

“Hermione, will you pass me the steak and kidney pie?” Harry asked, his plate piled high with about every dish there was on the table. I pushed the platter over towards him, and resumed the methodically swirling of my potatoes on my plate, trying work up the willpower to eat my lunch.

“Hermione, just take a bite. Remember the picture?” Harry admonished once again, pulling out the single event that shocked me back to myself.

“Okay,” I replied slowly. My fork came up to my mouth as slowly as possible, with just a tiny bit of potato on the very end of it. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about the calories, fat, and other contents of the food, and took a quick bite. I swallowed quickly, then took a huge gulp of water to wash it down like it was some nasty medicine.

“I guess that's a start,” Harry sighed.

I gave him a sorrowful look. “I don't think I can just go back to the way it was just in one day,” I explained to him. “I want to eat right, I really do. It's just so hard to change.”

“I know it must be hard Hermione, but I'm here for you,” Harry replied with a smile. I returned his smile, then went for an unprompted bite of my chicken.

It had been three weeks since Harry had confronted me about my eating disorder; I was now recognizing it for what it was. The major problem was trying to combat the effects it had had on my mind, and my eating habits. Harry had been a major help through all this. But even he couldn't get me to overcome the delusions I had put in my mind about the food I ate.

“Hermione, it's not so hard. I don't know how you managed not to eat,” Ron questioned me around half of his roll. I glared at him, half for his comment and half for his rude gesture.

“Ronald, in polite company, we chew and swallow our food before making a comment,” I chastised his behavior.

“Sorry,” he muttered, then took a big gulp as he swallowed the roll.

“What's wrong Granger? You afraid your food is going to attack you?” Draco sneered as he walked by. I felt a prickling behind my eyes and tried not to let the Slytherin see how he affected me.

“What do you want Malfoy?” Harry stood up and began to reach for his wand.

“You can't stand up for yourself anymore Mudblood? You have to have Potty fight for you?” Malfoy said with a smirk.

“Now you're just asking for a fight,” Harry defended me, but hesitated to actually attack due to the full staff table that sat at the head of the hall. Most of the teachers seem to be observing the interchange very closer, ready to jump up at the first sign of a fight.

“Maybe we should settle this some other time. We never did get to our Wizard's Duel did we? Tonight, midnight, down at the Quidditch pitch,” Malfoy said after glancing at the wary professors himself.

“I'll be there if you actually decide to show up this time,” Harry replied, giving the staff table his own look.

As Malfoy walked off, I turned to Harry. “What do you think you're doing? You can't fight with Malfoy! He's a prefect, he could bring a Head student or teacher with him to get points docked for being outside after curfew!” I insisted, not wanting Harry to get into trouble because of me.

“Don't worry. Malfoy may suspect it, but he doesn't know for sure about my invisibility cloak. And I highly doubt he has a clue about the Map. If he comes with anyone other than his second, I'll just slip away, and let him get caught by another prefect,” Harry explained, smiling at Ron, who, after Malfoy walked away, had returned to stuffing his face.

“You mean me?” he said around a whole drumstick.

Harry just nodded. “Hermione, you should eat that,” he said, pointing at my pile of green beans. I smiled at Harry's plan, then proceeded to nibble at the vegetables.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

At 11:45, I heard shuffling coming down from the boy's dormitory. I sat quietly in the corner of the deserted common room, determined not to let Harry and Ron head out without me.

“Hermione, what are you doing here?” Harry asked, pulling the cloak off to reveal him standing in the middle of the room.

“I'm not letting you go without some back-up. Plus, Ron and I can corroborate each other's story when McGonagall asks us about finding Malfoy at the Quidditch pitch,” I interjected a voice of reason into my friends.

“Sounds good to me,” Ron shrugged.

“We can't fit three people under the cloak anymore,” Harry also reasoned.

“That's why I changed our rounds to include the pitch tonight. Ron and I are late for duty,” I grinned at my friends, then pulled Ron towards me and we walked out of the common room, Ron pinning his prefect badge on his pajama top as we headed down the corridor. Harry pulled up beside us, and pulled his invisibility cloak up around himself.

We got to the pitch, and to my surprise, Malfoy was actually standing there, Crabbe and Goyle flanking him as usual.

“Potter decided to send you two to tell me he's too scared to show?” Draco sneered.

“No. Harry just didn't trust you enough to show up without some else to get him into trouble. Like back in first year?” I reminded Malfoy about his cowardly attempt to put Filch on Harry's trail.

A short moment later, Harry appeared from behind a pillar. I questioned him silently if others were present, and he answered me with a nod and smile.

“Let's get this over with,” Harry muttered, and pulled out his wand.

“Which is your second?” Draco asked. “I don't want to be double-teamed after I get you.”

“Ron. And yours?”

“Goyle.”

“Good.” The two combatants stood about twenty paces away from one another. Surprisingly, they both remembered the niceties Lockhart had taught us back in second year, and bowed to one another. That was the kindest gesture offered before the curses began to fly.

“Reducto!” Malfoy cried out. At the exact same moment, Harry fired off the Jelly-Legs jinks. Malfoy began to wobble around as Harry dodge the reductor curse.

Colored lights lit up the field, with neither attacker gaining any advantage. The duel was dragging on to a full hour when Draco seemed to have gotten desperate.

“Cru-“ he began, when a large hand came down on his shoulder.

“Wha' do you lot think you're doin'?” Hagrid questioned the group. Harry lowered his wand quickly, looking sheepishly at his giant friend. Ron and I both began to sputter out excuses, while Draco looked quite scared under Hagrid's trashcan lid sized hands.

“It's nearly one in the mornin'. You all get up to the castle now, and I'll only take ten points from each o' you. Now get,” Hagrid commanded in his gruff voice. I had never heard him use such a stern tone of voice, even when he chastised us for some of the thing we had gotten into in the past.

“Sorry Hagrid,” Harry, Ron and I murmured in unison, before following the retreating Slytherins into the school.

“You're lucky Hagrid came when he did,” I murmured to Harry.

“Yeah, but didn't he hear what Malfoy was about to do? He deserved detention, at least,” Ron mentioned vehemently.

“Ron, we're lucky we didn't get detention. What does it look like, when three prefects get detention for being out of bounds?” I reasoned. We walked up the steps, and I began to get really woozy.

“Harry, Ron, I…” I stopped, and began to wobble, dangerously close to passing out.

“Hermione!” They both ran towards me, and helped me to gently sit on the stone steps.

“When was the last time you ate?” Harry asked pointingly.

“Dinner,” I mentioned quickly.

“And how much did you eat?” Harry asked again. I slowly ticked off a short list of what I had eaten that night.

Harry consulted the Map quickly, then muttered, “in for a penny, in for a pound. Why don't we take a short trip to the kitchens before bed?” he added louder.

“Sure!” Ron replied excitedly, and looked as if he was about to run off towards the fruit bowl painting. He stopped short, and aided Harry as he helped me get slowly to my feet.

“I just need a little snack,” I murmured, but Harry was ignoring me.

“Mister Potter, sir. Dobby is most pleased to see you again!” the house-elf mumbled from around Harry's waist. He gave a sheepish smile, then pulled the small slave away from him.

“What can Dobby get for Mister Harry Potter?” he looked at Harry with admiration shining in his eyes. Harry looked at me, ignoring Ron as he rattled off a list longer than his last potions essay of food that Dobby could get him.

As I contemplated, my stomach growled, and I realized just how hungry I was. “Do you have any lasagna left from dinner?” I asked, the craving suddenly hitting me. Dobby scampered off, and returned with a full, steaming pan of the pasta dish.

“Thank you Dobby,” I replied, and grabbed a fork for myself and Harry. We sat at the replica Gryffindor table, and tucked in. Harry and I talked as we ate away at the pan. During a break in our conversation, I looked down and realized that I had eaten at least a third of the pan so far.

“What? When did I eat so much?” I questioned.

“You tend to eat more when you're not so focused on your food. How do you feel?” Harry asked.

I paused a moment, then gave Harry a huge grin. “I feel full!” I replied with excitement. I had not felt this full, or this good, since I began my crazy diet.

“See? You just need to forget that you're eating, and listen to your body. It will tell you when it's had enough.”

I smiled at Harry. “Thank you.” I leaned over the table to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Oy, what are you two doing? Don't you know there're children in here?” Ron said with a mouth full of potatoes.

“Swallow,” I replied, not breaking eye contact with Harry as we smiled at one another.

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7. untitled

I watched as Harry swirled his vegetables around on his plate. I would have been worried about him, recognizing the signs that I gave out when I was struggling with my eating habits, if I didn't know what caused this behavior.

“Harry, you really need to eat something. You can't bring Sirius back by starving yourself,” I urged my boyfriend.

Yes, my boyfriend. Despite the challenges with the DA, the crazy attention of Cho Chang, and the death of Sirius Black, Harry and I had agreed that sometime during the year, a line had been crossed. Instead of going back, we were determined to move forward.

Harry gave me a small smile. “I thought I was supposed to give you the pep talks,” he murmured.

“Not if you're the one who's not eating,” I replied.

The End of the Year Feast did not hold its normal excitement for us. Gryffindor's Quidditch Cup victory was empty for the banned Harry, and none of us were ready to forget, as much as we wanted to, the events of that crazy night in the Ministry. I was still on four different potions for the curse that Dolohov had thrown my way, but the pain was lessening everyday. But while my physical pain was fading day after day, Harry's emotional damage would not be repaired for some time yet.

We watched the countryside rush past as the Hogwarts Express headed towards London. Our compartment was quiet, none of us really able to broach what had occurred in the Ministry that night. Neville and Ginny had joined us, along with Luna. Luna's face was once again hidden behind her copy of the Quibbler, while Ginny and Neville were talking animatedly, but quietly, about plans for the DA for next year. Ron, as usual, was eating all the food he could get his hands on.

Harry sat quietly, seemingly mesmerized by the moving scenery outside the window. I didn't know how to really help him through his pain; it was something that I had never experienced.

“Harry, can I talk with you, alone?” I asked my friend. He gave me a questioning look, but proceeded to follow me outside the compartment door.

“Harry, you have been such an amazing strength to me these past months. If it weren't for you, well, I'd…” I didn't know how to put into words exactly what Harry had done for me.

“You saved me from myself. Now, I want you to know, I'm here for you. No matter what,” I finished quietly.

“Hermione, thanks,” Harry replied. The two simple words meant so much more. More than words were passed between us as Harry recognized just how much I was willing to do for him.

“I love you.”

THE END!

Important A/N:

Okay, the story is done, but anyone who wants to stay late can get the moral of the story.

Eating disorders are a serious mental health issue. They are in fact a mental illness, and are the most serious of any others. Anorexia Nervosa has one of the highest death rates of any mental illness; anywhere from 5 to 20% of those struggling with the disease will die. As much as 1% of American women suffer from Anorexia, or almost 1.5 million women. And while most sufferers are women, 5-10% are men. It is a sobering disease that affects people all across the nation. If you or someone you know are struggling with an eating disorder, please seek professional help. Any trusted person can help you on the road to recovery.

Many reviewers have said that they couldn't see Hermione as being anorexic, but for many women the goal of this extreme diet is not to lose weight, but to gain control. Hermione's perfectionist attitude makes her a person that could become anorexic. I personally think that Hermione is too smart for that, but my major purpose in writing was to broach a subject that many people find difficult to talk about, and I hope gives at least one person the courage and strength to help themselves or someone else who is struggling with this disease.

I took my information from two internet sites that have links to finding help. Please visit Something Fishy or the National Eating Disorder Association websites to find out more at http://www. something-fishy. org/ or http://www. National eating disorders. org. (just take out the spaces)

Thank you for reading my story, and for taking seriously the struggle of many women in America, and around the world.

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