Dizzy

Epona

Rating: NC17
Genres: Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 6
Published: 28/05/2007
Last Updated: 31/05/2007
Status: completed

Hermione is going out with Ron, but there's something lacking in their relationship. What happens when she notices some things different about Harry? This is my first NC-17 fic, so reviews would be nice!

Chapters

1. Dizzy with desire

2. Dizzy and Confused

3. Dizzy and determined

4. Dizzy and dumped

5. Dizzy. (Attempt at NC-17)

1. Dizzy with desire

A/N: I'm back! It must have been a year since I last wrote a fic, but this plot just came to me in work today and wouldn't go away, and the more I thought on it, the more it drove me crazy. So in the end, I had to write it, for my sanity.

Again, it's been a long time since I wrote, so if this isn't up to standards, that's why. I know this chapter is short, but I don't believe in forcing long-winded chapters out of myself if they don't want to come.

I'd like to know your opinion on whether or not I should try my hand at an NC-17 fic. I'm debating with myself whether or not I'd be any good at it. Meh, depends on what reviews I get. *wink wink* *hint hint*

Well, anyways, enough waffling.

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`Right, so a dyslexic man walks into a bra…'

`Ron, that's the worst joke I've ever heard. Plus it's probably offensive.'

Hermione rolled her eyes at her red-headed boyfriend and sighed, smiling. As daft as Ron was, his jokes never failed to make her smile. It was a pity that this was a rare occasion. When they had first gotten together at the end of the sixth year, everyone had said it was inevitable; what with all the sexual tension they seemed to have. All those fights and arguments were just their way of flirting, so it seemed.

However, it was now the end of the summer. They had been going out for almost two months, and the arguments and fights had gotten worse. Ron seemed to enjoy it. Hermione assumed that he thought she liked it too. She didn't.

Aside from the fighting though, Ron was a good boyfriend. He was sweet, (again, when they weren't fighting), and he made her feel special. He was everything a girl could want and more, which made Hermione feel awful.

She felt, and had felt for a while now, that there was something about the relationship they had that just wasn't doing it for her. She thought perhaps maybe if they took their relationship to the next level and went all the way, the feeling would go away, but there was always something stopping her.

She stood up and walked to the door, her smile fixed on her face, more to show Ron that she did actually care what he was saying than anything.

`Hey, Hermione.'

Ginny suddenly appeared in the doorway, holding a glass of butterbeer and looking glum, as was usual these days. Her break-up with Harry at the end of last year seemed to have affected her more so than it did him, at least outwardly. Since school had ended, Ginny was to be seen plodding around Grimmauld Place everyday, looking sulky. Her long velvety red hair was always falling around her pretty face, making her seem even more miserable. The only times that she was cheer up were when Harry entered the room; she would sit up, toss her hair back and pretend that she was fine. Breezy. Great.

Hermione had to hand it to her. They were all miserable over the summer, with the thought of no Hogwarts to go back to, Dumbledore gone, and Voldemort steadily gaining power by the day. The future seemed very bleak indeed. It was very considerate of Ginny, Hermione thought, to put on a brave face for Harry even though she was going through a tough time herself.

However, nobody really knew how Harry felt about the whole situation because he was never around. He dealt with his own grief and misery by shutting himself in his room, all day, everyday. He had been given his own room; Sirius' old room, and he took advantage of his new privacy by playing music for hours on end, only stopping to come down for food, or to go to sleep. No one minded it though, Harry had a right to be difficult, and he would talk to them when he was ready.

`Hey Ginny. Feeling any better?'

`A little.'

She walked to Hermione's previous seat and flopped into the chair with a dramatic sigh. Ron looked sympathetically at her.

`Don't worry, Gin, he'll come round.'

`No he won't, Ron. He's making out like it's for the best, in case You-Know-Who ever finds out about me, but I'm sure it's just his way of saying “I don't like you like that anymore”…'

`Sometimes it's better that way, Gin,' Hermione stuck her head around the doorway to speak to Ginny before she walked away. `He's not the type to just dump you, is he? If he's doing what you think he is, wouldn't you prefer it this way instead of him actually telling you that he doesn't like you like that anymore?'

`Hermione, that's not…' Ron gave her a funny sort of `don't you think that's a bit insensitive' look, and she shrugged.

`I'm sure that's not the case at all, but if it is, maybe it's for the best?'

Ginny nodded miserably and took a swig of butterbeer. Hermione smiled at her sympathetically and turned out of the room.

She walked slowly down the hallway, thinking about what Ginny had said. Did Harry really not like Ginny like that anymore? No, she thought. He hasn't said that, we shouldn't just assume…

But what if he has? She carried on towards the end of the hall, towards her own room, which was right next to Harry's. She could hear the dirty sounding drum beat of one of Harry's favourite songs and smiled. Who knew Harry would like grungy, heavy rock?

She reached her own door, her head swimming with her thoughts, and glanced at Harry's door, noticing that it was open a crack. Hesitating slightly, she reached out and pushed his door gently. It made no sound as she stepped quietly into the room. Her jaw dropped.

Harry was sitting at the desk in the corner of his room, shirtless, drawing something on a roll of parchment. His hair was wet; obviously he had just had a shower, and had pulled on a pair of black jeans. He had changed so much over the summer, finally being able to do what he wanted after leaving the Dursleys and had exercised this by getting a tattoo and a piercing. Hermione remembered hers and Ron's shock of seeing him with a ring through his lip and a tattoo of a star poking out of the back of his t-shirt. It sat on his shoulder, which at the moment was glistening with water still from his hair. He was nodding along to his music, and mumbling along the words with a quiet husky hum.

And in that moment, with the music playing, and Harry shirtless and wet, Hermione had never wanted anyone so badly. Not even Ron.

Harry was sexy. Completely and utterly, mind-blowingly sexy.

She stood rooted to the spot, gazing at him hungrily while he scribbled, not noticing she was behind him. Her eyes travelled over his lean shoulders, and the muscles down his back that were certainly a by-product of many years of Quidditch, chores and adventures. He had a few scars here and there that were obviously gained from battles with different people and monsters, but they only added to the smoulderingly sexy-ness of his body. He had taken his glasses off and although his face was turned away from her, what she could see of his face told her that this made a lot of difference. He looked older, more confident for some reason.

He raised his hand and ran it slowly through his hair absent-mindedly. Hermione couldn't control the small `uhhhhhhh' noise that came from her mouth.

He spun around in his chair and stared at her, blushing.

`Oh… sorry Hermione, hold on, I'll go find a shirt.'

`No…'

He stopped and raised an eyebrow at her, obviously noticing her strange behaviour but she didn't care. She was acting on what could only be called animal instinct. She was completely on autopilot. She didn't even realise what she was doing. All thoughts of Ron and Ginny, or of anything else for that matter were wiped from her mind as she gazed at his bare chest, admiring the small black stars he'd had tattooed onto his stomach. He lowered his head to catch her eye questioningly.

`Hermione… are you alright? What are you- mmf!'

She had grabbed his face and kissed him. Hard.

This was what she needed. This passion. She'd never felt like this before for anyone, and it was amazing. She felt Harry's tongue brush along the bottom of her lip and immediately let him in. Wait, he's not pushing me away?!

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her fingers into his unruly black hair, feeling the dampness between her fingers. There was a soft moan, who from, she couldn't tell. Her throat was so husky and deep with desire that it could have been anyone's. It was as if someone had lit a fire in her belly, and there was only one thing that could placate it.

She pushed him roughly over to his bed where he fell onto it, taking her with him. Taking charge, he flipped her over deftly and kissed her harder. Hermione had never understood the appeal of being rough with your partner, Ron was always gentle with her and it was nice. However with Harry, the passion and desire they both felt was shown by the eagerness and energy of their kisses. He broke from her mouth to plant rough, yet amazingly sweet kisses around her neck and collarbone, and she let out a deep breathy sigh. This was right. This was exactly what was missing with Ron.

…Ron!

They seemed to remember at the same time that what they were doing was wrong, and they sprang apart, red-faced and gasping for air, staring wide-eyed at each other. Harry stood up backed away from her, a note of panic in his eyes.

`What… what did we just do? What was that?' he breathed, frustrated confusion taking over them both.

`I don't know… I'm so sorry, Harry… I…'

Her senses came flooding back to her and with one last petrified look at him, she ran from the room and into her own, leaving a bewildered looking Harry behind.

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2. Dizzy and Confused

A/N: Wow, thanks for all your reviews! Lol, I didn't get that great a response from the lip ring however, but I love it. I suppose it's just a difference of opinion, but I love a guy with a lip ring. But I'll change it to a stud, if that's what makes you all feel better. =) And um… please, no more saying that lip piercings aren't nice - I have one and I love it. It suits my face.

And as for the tattoos, I'm so glad you all like them! I did get one emo comment, but believe it, it was intended as anything but. I'm not a fan of the whole emo thing, REALLY not a fan.

A lot of people said I should try my hand at NC-17, so… I'll give it a shot, I think. =P It's your fault if I'm abysmal though. =P Maybe not in this chapter, but later on.

I'm entirely sure where I'm going with this story. I have a vague idea of a plot, but it's more for getting back into writing than anything.

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He stood, completely nonplussed, as Hermione rapidly fled the room, his bottle-green eyes as wide as saucers, his breathing still ragged and uneven. What had just happened?

Sitting on the bed, he ran a hand slowly through his hair, the way Hermione had just done not two minutes before, only this time it didn't send an electrical pulse through his body like a shot of lightning. He didn't understand, why hadn't he pushed her away? He had just kissed her back, with as much fervour and want as he'd seen in her eyes when she stared at him…

And what was that all about? He thought, reliving the moment when he realised she was gazing hungrily at his bare chest, her eyes trailing from his smooth shoulders to his belly button with what could only be lust. She's going out with Ron… she's not the type… to…

He exhaled loudly and angry, now completely frustrated. Flopping backwards onto his back, he strained his brain for some answers.

Why did she do that? Why didn't I stop her?

He hadn't seen much of Hermione since he'd arrived at Grimmauld Place, and that had been his own decision. He hadn't wanted to see anyone at all. His break-up with Ginny at the end of last year convinced him that there would be awkwardness in the group, Ginny being Ron's sister and Hermione being Ron's girlfriend, they would have to support each other. If Ron was angry at Harry for messing Ginny around, Hermione would have to be too.

Plus there was the added grief of last terms terrible events. Harry couldn't remove the image burnt into his brain of Snape uttering the words of the death curse, hatred etched upon his features as Dumbledore was blasted into the air and fell out of sight, the cruel, sickly sight of the Dark Mark hanging overhead. It was as if he'd killed Dumbledore himself, for the pain and the grief, not to mention anxiety and fear, that he was feeling now were enough to make a ten-year stretch in Azkaban pointless. All seemed hopeless. It was now up to him to find the last of the Horcruxes and defeat Voldemort, and he knew he was no match for this colossal task.

He couldn't ask them for help. Not this time. He couldn't bring Hermione, Ron and Ginny into this. Too many times he had seen them risk themselves for him, and after last term he had realised the real extent of danger they were all in.

So he had decided to keep himself to himself this summer. He'd thought that if he made a few changes to himself, a tattoo, a piercing, music, etc. he would feel like a new person. A person who could start again, distance himself from his friends. Well, they had helped, certainly, Harry did feel like a new person. The music he played everyday was the only thing keeping him sane. He could lie on his bed for hours on end, everyday, morose and grumpy, but it was alright because he was listening to his music. It was his excuse for not having to talk to anyone, because it was driving him nuts otherwise, not being able to talk to everyone.

Obviously, he would have kept out of Ginny's way anyway. The awkwardness that he felt on the night he had arrived at Grimmauld Place was not something he wanted to subject himself to everyday. He was sure it wouldn't be a problem if he'd felt the same way about Ginny as she did about him, but the truth was he'd lost whatever feelings he had for her. It had seemed so surreal to him, the moment when he realised he didn't love Ginny anymore. He convinced himself that he was insensitive and selfish, having strung her along for those couple of months, telling her he loved her, all they'd done together, and now, he was throwing her away? It was for these reasons that he could not face the rest of the group.

Now, though, Hermione had gone and ruined it. She'd broken his barriers that he'd worked so hard on. He didn't understand how she could come into his room and kiss him like that, when she'd shown no interest before, and especially now she was with Ron. Was there something wrong with the relationship between them? He didn't think that she would use him, going back to Ron when she wanted then sneaking a kiss from him when Ron wasn't around. What was going on?

He closed his eyes and sighed. Hermione was his best friend, she had been for 6 years. He'd never even thought of her before as someone who he'd be sharing a heated kiss with. She was just Hermione. Yes, she was pretty, he'd always thought so, but that had been the extent of it. He'd never even considered it. Now he couldn't get the image out of his head. The way she'd roughly grabbed his face with her dainty hands, the eagerness of the kiss she'd given him, the way he couldn't have pulled away even if he'd wanted to…

Nothing like that had ever happened with Ginny. Yes, there was the odd impulsive, passionate kiss between the two of them, but apart from that it was all above board, they knew what was happening, there was no passion about it but it was nice. They'd never done anything past the odd touch, the grazing of his hand under her shirt.

Hermione however had been so caught up in their moment, as had Harry, that they'd not even thought about where or what their hands were doing. Harry could feel the softness of her skin under his strong fingers as he'd drawn his hand slowly up and down her side, pulling her t-shirt up with it.

Angrily, he punched his pillow, though the distorted sound of a guitar from his CD player drowned the dull thud out completely. He knew that Hermione had started something now. The only problem is, could he control it, or would it be yet another thing that would drive him insane.

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Hermione paced anxiously around her room, biting frantically at her nails. She couldn't for the life of her understand why she'd done that. All she knew was after seeing Harry like she had, the skin on his back and chest glistening with water, giving it a soft sheen like on those cheesy perfume adverts, the tattoo on his back becoming more real the more she looked at it, she knew he had to have him. She had to taste him, feel the rugged, masculinity that just oozed out of him in that moment. She didn't know whether it was the music, pumping in her ears, forcing emotion to rise to her surface with it's heavy yet slow, subtly sexy drum beat, or the flush of blood that drained from her head as she went into autopilot, but she knew that in that moment, Harry had never looked so sexy.

It wasn't as if Harry wasn't attractive before, or that she'd never noticed it. In fact, all throughout her fourth, fifth and sixth year, she was battling against a nasty internal conflict as to who she thought she loved most, Ron or Harry. She loved them both immensely as friends, but she knew that the romantic feelings she was having for the both of them would eventually tear the three of them apart if she didn't do something about it.

Then Harry had kissed Ginny, and after all Hermione's efforts to choose between them, she'd had her mind made up for her. It seemed like the way it was supposed to be; after all she'd spent all that effort trying to wind up Ron by hanging around with that Cormac guy, he had seemed a lot more interested in her than Harry, and the way that it had worked out, it was just so convenient. Her and Ron. Harry and Ginny. Perfect. Surely that was how fate had set it out?

But maybe this isn't supposed to be just convenience…

She knew it was wrong to do so, but she now started comparing Harry and Ron together. Not just at kissing, at the little everyday things too. She remembered all the little nice things Harry had said to her. Obviously, he hadn't realised how much they'd meant to her, with her little internal battle going on, but she could remember clearly the day he'd told her he thought she was pretty, when she found out he'd told someone that she was the brightest, smartest witch in Hogwarts, his reaction to her appearance at the Yule Ball. That was Harry's thing. He never covered up the thoughts and feelings that people normally did. Instead he'd bottle away all the angry and negative thoughts that he should have vented out, and only occasionally let them out on poor unsuspecting victims. Unlike Ron, who spent the whole of the Yule Ball trying to cover up the fact that he liked Hermione by being horrendously nasty to her, and ruining her evening, and when trying to give her compliments, he ended up insulting her rather than making her feel good.

He was nice, for his part though, Ron. He was good to her, giving her cuddles, kissing her nose when she felt sad, doing things for her. He was a lovely boyfriend, and any girl would be lucky to have him.

However, she had never felt the same passion with Ron as she had just done with Harry.

Oh, what am I going to DO? She thought as she flopped down onto her bed and turned to stare blankly at the ceiling. I do love Ron, I know I do. But Harry is… Ohhhhhh!

She turned on her side and roughly wiped her eyes on her sleeve, her frustrated tears making her even more angry.

I don't even know if he likes me like that… I mean he's just broken up with Ginny. He might still like her. And it's not like I gave him a chance to say anything… but he didn't push me away. Why didn't he push me away?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door, followed by a head of short red hair poking it's way through her door.

`Are you alright, Hermione? You've been gone awhile, why are you in bed?'

She hurriedly wiped her eyes on the sheet knowing it would do no good, and sat up slowly to face him. She was very aware that her hair was a mass of frizz, Harry's hand having run through it in haste. Thinking up the best excuse she could, she gave Ron a weary smile.

`I'm fine, Ron, I've just got a headache. Can I have some time alone please? I might try to get some sleep.'

He looked at her thoughtfully, and Hermione felt an inward jolt of panic. Had he noticed something?

`Hmm, you do look tired. Your eyes are all red. Have you been sleeping already?'

He nodded at her atrocious mass of hair and she nodded.

`Yes, I was. Can I go back to sleep now please, Ron?'

`Well, I thought I could sit with you…' he began, sauntering over to her bed and sitting on the edge, a mischievous smile attached firmly to his face. `You know, Ginny's reading in the sitting room… Harry's… well… Harry..'

Hermione shifted uncomfortably.

`I thought… you know… now would be a good time to…'

He winked at her and she knew exactly what he meant. Ron had been dropping hints lately about their sex life, or lack of. She'd made excuses lately, feeble ones that she was sure even he could see through, but apparently not. She'd said stupid things like `No, Ron, Ginny's only two doors down…' and `What if someone comes in?' at a little past midnight. The truth was that she just didn't want to. There were moments, of course where she'd stare at him from behind, checking him out and thinking of things that she wouldn't have minded him doing to her, but when it came to it, he just didn't feel like it. And now was one of those times.

She felt herself getting angry with him, then realised she had no right to be. She'd just spent the best of the last five minutes kissing his best friend stupid, and here she was getting angry at him for wanting a bit of attention when she was feeling guilty. She supposed the best way to go about it was to use another excuse and hope he wouldn't be offended.

`Look, Ron, I'm really not feeling well. Maybe another time, okay?'

He narrowed his eyebrows in an unmistakably angry frown, and she closed her eyes wearily. She could feel him stiffening, and braced herself for an argument.

`What's the matter with you lately, Hermione? You never want to do anything with me. You've been looking at me like I've pissed you off for the last couple of weeks. What is it? Don't you fancy me anymore or something?' He stood up and turned to look at her as she opened her eyes and looked blankly at him. `And now you're looking at me as if you can't be bothered with me.'

`Look, Ron…' she began, but he cut her off.

`If you don't want to be with me, Hermione, just say so.'

She felt herself getting angry with him, but she willed herself not to. It's not his fault, it's yours. She thought, her teeth clenched. He's got a right to be angry…

`Hermione, answer me!' His voice was raised slightly now, and she could swear she heard the volume on Harry's music turn down slightly next door. `What's the matter? Do you want to be with me or not?'

`Ron! I've got a headache! Please, I don't want to talk about this now…'

There was a silence after this statement, in which they stood, staring at each other. She could see something in Ron's eyes that looked like hurt, but there was something else there altogether. Betrayal? Did he know about her and Harry? Anger?

`We'll talk later, okay, Ron?' She said at last, noticing with a leap of her stomach that Harry's music had been turned off. `I know you're angry, but we'll talk later okay?'

She gave him the best apologetic smile she could muster and he frowned further still, sighed, and stomped from the room.

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The next few days were tentative. Hermione and Ron had made up, even though Hermione was feeling like crap. Nothing had changed in their relationship, there were still problems, but for the moment, she felt like she had one less thing to worry about. She could focus on this thing that was happening with Harry.

She hadn't seen him properly since the `incident', though there was an awkward meeting down in the kitchen when she and Ron were making a cup of tea and he walked in. Noticing Ron wasn't looking, he looked at her and raised his eyebrow, not saying a word. Hermione blushed and turned away, thankful that Ron hadn't noticed their exchange. Harry said nothing except a muted `Hi' to the both of them, then left with an apple and some fruit juice.

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3. Dizzy and determined

A/N: Heya, thanks for all the reviews. Couple of things:

Some people have said that Tattoos and piercings etc. are a bit muggle for Harry. I agree completely. But then, who said Harry has to have everything from the magic world? I shall explain my reasoning behind this a bit later on in the story, but for now, I'll just say that it's Harry rebelling against his muggle relatives, not his wizarding relatives. There must have been things he wanted to do when he thought he was a muggle that he couldn't, and these might have been some of them. =P

And Tank03: About the CD player working in the magic atmosphere of Grimmauld Place: Well spotted, I wondered how I was gonna work that myself. =P But then, I realised, they have wizarding wirelesses, do they not? So isn't it possible they have them to play CDs, or the magic equivalent? But well spotted. =P

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A few days later, Luna Lovegood arrived at Grimmauld Place. Her father had joined the Order after hearing the news of Dumbledore's death, and Luna had come with him to stay at Grimmauld Place with Ginny. Hermione was glad of the company for Ginny, not to mention for the distraction to keep her mind off Harry.

She was still with Ron, however rocky their relationship was, but her mind kept wondering to Harry shut up in his room all day. His music never ceased, which was as normal, but he seemed to stay in his room even more than before. He hardly ever came downstairs to eat with everyone, and preferred his meals at night, when everyone had gone to bed. The rest of the group thought that he was just dealing with things in his own way, and didn't say anything, but Hermione was worried. Had she ruined Harry's friendship with herself and Ron? She decided she needed to talk to him, to try and sort out the mess that she had made, and she decided that she had better do it sooner rather than later.

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, she crept silently out of her room and crossed the hallway to Harry's room. His music had been turned off; it was at least half 11, and he always made sure to turn it off at 8, considering other people. Tentatively, she knocked on his door, very gently, so as to alert him that she was coming in, but so she wouldn't wake him if he was asleep. She timidly poked her head around the door.

He wasn't asleep, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor at the foot of his bed in a three quarter length black shirt and a pair of long green shorts, allowing her to notice a second tattoo she hadn't seen before; another black star, smaller this time, on his calf muscle. She directed her eyes away from it at once, before she started to admire it. Instead she looked at the book he was flicking through, a dark arts encyclopaedia of sorts. She raised an eyebrow at it, but her questioning look was quickly subdued by the look on Harry's own face.

He was staring at her with a weird mixture of anger and curiosity. His deep green eyes hid a complex mass of emotions, and she could tell. Shuffling into the room bashfully, she walked over to him, shutting the door. She could tell he was definitely stiff with her, but she was relieved when he moved over on the carpet so she could lean against his bed with him.

`I thought we ought to talk…'

He nodded, and popped a bookmark into his book, setting it softly onto the floor.

`Probably, yes.'

She took a deep breath to prepare herself for this. The whole situation was making her feel very uncomfortable anyway, but now she was here with Harry, considering the last thing they were doing when they were together, made her even more embarrassed. She looked at her lap, keeping her eyes firmly away from his.

`Um… I want you to know… I… never meant for what happened to… happen…'

`So why did it?'

She glanced at him through the curls falling around her face. He was frowning, but he didn't look angry anymore. She was relieved slightly.

`I don't know… I just… had to… I mean… Oh, this is embarrassing…' She took another deep breath and threw her hair back, resigning herself to the fact that she'd just have to come out with it. `I guess me and Ron have been having some… problems.'

`So you used me.' He said, and she was sure she heard some hurt in his voice. `You were horny and I was there.'

`No! No, it wasn't like that at all…' She had to make him understand. `I just… you see… there's something lacking in our relationship… and I just… I came in here, and saw you half-naked and… well…' She blushed and looked away. `I've never seen you looking so sexy… with your tattoos and your lip, and your messy hair and…'

She cleared her throat and realised she was starting to ramble about embarrassing things. Harry looked less angry now, and even (Hermione hoped) a little amused.

`I guess… I just had to have you. I don't have that kind of feeling with Ron… but there you were… and it wasn't a matter of `you're my best friend and not my boyfriend, I can't have you', it was just more of a… `uhhhhhhhh'…'

`I know, I heard.'

She laughed, gently, and looked up at him, feeling much better. It felt like the awkwardness was fading away, slowly.

`So where does this leave us?'

Nope. There it was.

`Harry… I… I may as well be straight with you. I… kind of… fancied you… before…'

His eyes widened and she was amused to see he was surprised.

`You didn't know?'

`No, I didn't. I thought you just fancied Ron.'

She shook her head and chuckled bitterly. There she was having this massive internal battle with herself and here was Harry and Ron, completely oblivious to it.

`No, it was both of you. But then you kissed Ginny… and well… Ron asked me out. It seemed like that was how it was supposed to be.'

He nodded, thinking, and turned to stare into her face. She could see he was as confused as she was, but there was something in his face that she couldn't decipher. She couldn't look away.

Her mind went blank, again, as she lifted her hand to his cheek, and stroked her soft thumb across his bottom lip. His eyelids fluttered closed as he savoured the feeling. His lips were dry, and she found herself licking her own to wet them. The gap between them seemed to be smaller than before, and she almost jumped as she felt Harry's hand fall softly on her leg. She knew this was wrong, she had managed to keep a tiny bit of self control this time and she gently drew backwards, as Harry's eyes fluttered open again, boring into hers. That was it. The small amount of self control she was struggling to keep onto flew out the window as she crashed her lips onto his.

At first it was just a mixture of hands in hair and tongues colliding in their eagerness to be together, that passion from the other night coursing through their veins as they held onto each other like a vice. The energy from their kiss soon cooled down to sultry, sexy desire as Harry leant backwards onto the floor, taking Hermione with him, not breaking from her. She climbed over him, their mouths still connected, as he slid a hand into her shirt, touching her hips and sending sparks throughout her belly. The fire was there again, burning into her soul. Her skirt was hitched around her waist as she straddled Harry's hips, feeling the physical effect that she was having on him, which aroused her even further. She pressed her hips into his erection and he groaned, grabbing a handful of her soft curls and kissing her harder. His hand was trailing slowly up her waist and she growled impatiently. Hearing this, Harry grinned into their kiss, the stud on his lip digging gently into her own and she moaned. Eager to please, Harry speeded up his movements and grazed a hand across the lacy material of her bra.

There was a soft knock on the door and they froze, eyes wide and petrified. Instantly, Hermione threw herself off the floor and headed for the door.

`No! Not out the door! They'll know what we've been doing!' Harry whispered frantically as he searched around for somewhere where she could hide. His eyes landed on the wardrobe. `In here!'

Hermione ran to the wardrobe, wrenched open the door and dove in. She watched through the keyhole as Harry checked himself, then opened the door slowly.

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It was Ginny.

`Hey,' she said as she entered the room, looking bright and breezy. `I thought we could have a talk?'

`Um, well, now isn't really a good time, Ginny… I was…' Harry searched around in his brain for something to say that wouldn't incriminate him. `I was just looking up some stuff for the Order.'

`It won't take long, I promise,' she begged and Harry had to cave in. He didn't love her anymore, but it didn't stop him from wanting to make her happy. `I just wanted to ask you something.'

Harry's mind wondered to the wardrobe, where he was sure Hermione was listening intently. He didn't fancy having this conversation with Ginny while Hermione was in the room, but he knew he was going to have to do this sometime, and anything he said might give away that Hermione was hiding in the wardrobe.

`Okay,' he sighed. `Go ahead.'

`Good.' She sat herself on his bed, cross legged, completely comfortable. Harry wondered where all the awkwardness had gone between them. `I wanted to ask you if you still loved me.'

`Heh, straight to the point still, I see.' Harry smiled. Somehow, he knew Ginny could take this. He even suspected that Ginny was starting to get over him.

`Well, do you?'

`Well… if I'm honest, Ginny… it's not that I want to hurt you, you know I don't… but no, I don't anymore. I'm sorry.'

He looked at her tentatively and was pleased to see she was still smiling.

`It's okay, Harry. I presumed that was how you felt. If I'm honest, I'm relieved, it means I can get on with my life now.' She grinned at him and he returned it, feeling for the first time in ages a sense of relief. Chuckling slightly, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

`You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that. I knew you'd be okay with this.'

She giggled back and straightened up, Harry's hands still around her. He'd forgotten that Hermione was in the wardrobe. Reaching up, Ginny placed her lips on Harry's in a chaste, comfortable kiss. It lasted a good few seconds before she pulled away and stood up, Harry following her.

`Thanks, Harry. You were the best boyfriend I've had, you know.'

`You too. Girlfriend, I mean.'

She laughed. `Yeah right, you only went out with Cho, and that was a disaster.'

He laughed along with her and pulled her into another hug. `Shuddup, Rusty.'

`Oy! Don't call me that!' She pulled away, faking an angry expression, referring to the nickname he'd thought of for her one day when he'd made a joke about her hair looking like her head had rusted, and had laughed himself silly for ten minutes at his own joke, much to Ginny's chagrin. `You know I don't like that… Scruffy!'

With that, she reached up, ruffled his hair, then stuck her tongue out and walked out, shutting the door. Harry smiled.

There was a sniff from the wardrobe and Harry realised with a jolt that Hermione was still in there. He crossed the room, yanked open the door and she stepped out, looking harassed. He didn't know what to say to her. Now that Ginny had left the room, they were all alone again, and the feeling of wanting to grab her and start kissing her again was rapidly returning. However, they both maintained their self control this time around, and before he could say anything, Hermione had grabbed his face and pulled him into a mind-blowing kiss before pulling away and rushing out of the room.

Harry waited until he heard her door shut then crossed over to his bed and fell onto it, groaning. This was getting far too complicated. Hermione had fancied him? Then why had she said yes to Ron? What if he and Ginny had never happened, what then?

And what about Ron? He thought as he closed his eyes. We're both betraying him.

He tried to keep his mind on Ron, and what he was going to do, but it kept wandering back to Hermione's face as she grinded her hips into his, the way she bit her lip in that seductive manner. He needed to feel her skin under his fingers again, he loved the shape of her sides, the little dip between her ribs and her hips, that curve that he had his fingers on ten minutes ago…

No. This is not happening. This can't be happening. Adamantly, he opened his eyes and tried to wipe the image from his mind. I'm not falling for Hermione. She's going out with Ron. I can't let this happen. I'll just tell her that I can't see her anymore while she's with Ron.

That might be forever though..

Then so be it. If that's the way it has to be…

His mind made up, he jumped to his feet, undressed and got into bed, trying to think of anything else except what had happened tonight. He tried not to think of all the things Hermione had told him.

`I guess… I just had to have you…'

`I've never seen you look so sexy…'

`It was just more of an `uhh…..'

`I… kind of… fancied… you before…'

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4. Dizzy and dumped

A/N: I'm not going to rework this story. I like this story, lip ring and all. In fact, I LOVE the lip ring. So *raspberries*.

Lol, I'm kidding. You're all entitled to hate the lip ring, as much as I'm entitled to love the lip ring. It's lucky I don't do this for money, because then I'd have to re-write it. As it happens, I'm doing this because I enjoy it, so no rewriting for me. =P

Hermione spent the next couple of days in some kind of stupor. Anywhere she went, whatever she did, she couldn't keep her mind of Harry. She knew it was stupid, Ron would notice something soon, and she didn't even know properly how Harry felt, although from the other night, it seemed that it wasn't as if he didn't like her like that.

The truth was that Hermione had the distinct impression that she was falling for Harry. This in itself was a dangerous realisation. Now that she knew she felt more for Harry than she did Ron, she would have to do something about it. Otherwise, it just wouldn't be fair on any of them. However she knew that if she were to tell Ron what she and Harry had done, that would be the end of their friendship, and Harry needed that more than anything at the moment.

They were sitting in the sitting room on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. The members of the Order were all out. Fred and George were now old enough to join the Order and had done so as soon as they could, so the only people left in the house were Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna and Harry.

All of them, save Harry, who stayed in his room and played his music again, spent their morning playing gobstones and chess, and generally mulling around, chatting and laughing. Although they had so much to be miserable about, it was so sunny outside that they found it hard to be in a bad mood.

`Maybe we should go get Harry,' piped up Ron, who had just beaten a fuming Ginny at chess again. `He needs to come out of his room for a while. Get some air, see people, you know.'

Hermione perked her head up and listened intently to the conversation.

`Do you think he'll join us?' Luna walked over to the couch and sat down next to Ron, who, Hermione noticed, did not seem to mind at all. In fact, she swore she could see a smile being suppressed. `He doesn't seem very people-friendly at the moment. Perhaps it's because of your break-up, Ginny?'

`Oh, no, we're fine about that now. I talked to him about it.' Ginny replied, matter-of-factly. `I knew he didn't feel that way about me anymore anyways, it was only a matter of time before he told me. I'm just glad things ended when they did. Otherwise we'd have gone through that whole bad break-up thing…'

Ron and Hermione looked at each other. Neither could tell that the other was thinking the same thing. Would their break-up be a bad one?

Hermione knew they were coming to the end of their relationship. They hardly spent any time alone with each other anymore, and Hermione could sense that Ron was getting tired. She knew it was her own fault, she didn't give him enough attention and she knew it. However, she didn't want to have to be the one to break it off; she wanted to give him that. He didn't seem to want to be the one either though, because it carried on for about a week. Hermione hadn't seen Harry in that week, so she hadn't had a chance to tell him what she was going to do. In fact, the way they had left things, she wasn't sure what he wanted at all.

She did know, however, that breaking up with Ron was for the best. He made his move a couple of hours later, in her room.

She was sitting with a book open on her lap, reading up on anything that would help the Order when he came in bashfully, tripping over his own feet.

`Hermione, can I talk to you?'

`Sure, Ron, what's up?'

He sat down on the edge of her bed, but made no sign of wanting to come closer. Hermione could see that something was definitely bothering him.

`I think… we should break up, Hermione.' He said awkwardly. `It just seems like we're not going anywhere with this, it's lost whatever it had.'

Hermione smiled. Ron wasn't as daft as he made out, and she was glad of it. Reaching out, she drew him into a hug, chuckling at his surprised face.

`I agree, Ron, I really do.'

She felt him grin, and wrap his arms around her in return. This was exactly how it was supposed to be. This comfortable feeling with Ron was something she'd missed when they'd started their relationship. She was always worrying about what their hugs meant, how far did he think this hug would go? But with this one there was none of that. No expectations. Just friends, who loved each other dearly.

`Um… Hermione?'

They broke apart and Hermione looked at him with a warm expression on her face.

`Yes?'

`Um…' He still seemed embarrassed. `I was wondering… would it be totally inappropriate to tell you that… I kind of fancy someone else?'

Hermione didn't know what to say. Disbelief etched her features before she realised that Ron had done almost the same as what she had done with Harry. The only difference is, she thought with a pang of guilt, Ron could wait. She didn't.

Ron was looking at her with a very worried expression on her face, and she could tell he was mortified to think he'd upset her. She decided to release him from his pain and she grinned at him. His relief was palpable.

`I'm very pleased for you, Ron. Can I ask who it is?'

`No.'

`What?' She laughed, sensing that Ron was obviously very embarrassed about it. She already had a vague idea who it was, but she wanted him to say it. `Why won't you tell me? After all we've been through?'

`Oh, all right! It's…. mmfff…' He mumbled the last part so incoherently that she had to lean forwards to hear.

`Who?'

`Luna, alright! It's Luna!' He half-shouted, then looked shocked at his outburst and looked around nervously, as if Luna could hear him. Hermione laughed.

`Thought so.'

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A few hours later when everyone had gone to bed, Harry poked his head outside his bedroom door, looking around for anyone who might be around. Finally satisfied that everyone was asleep in their rooms, he crept out, taking care not to let any loose floorboards creak under his weight. Closing his door, he turned to the one next to his and knocked gently. Not hearing a reply, he tentatively opened the door and looked in.

Hermione had obviously not heard his soft knock as she didn't turn around when he came in. She was shuffling something on her desk; it looked like a roll of parchment. She must have just had a shower, because her hair was damp, it clung together in thick strands which reached down her back in ringlets. Already dressed for bed, she was only wearing a grey tank top and a pair of pink hot-pants which showed off her long, smooth legs.

It took all of Harry's self-control to remember why he was there. He closed the door quietly, placed a silencing charm around the room, then cleared this throat softly, letting her know of his presence.

`Oh, Harry! I wanted to talk to you actually, but I thought you might be asleep-`

`Can I talk first?'

She looked taken aback as he cut in, trying to complete his mission before his knees gave way.

`I don't think we should see each other anymore, Hermione. Not while you're with Ron.'

He had expected tears. Crying. That's why he had placed the silencing charm around the room. He fully expected Hermione to shout at him, telling him that they needed to see each other, he couldn't break away from her like this. What he hadn't expected was Hermione to break out in a huge happy grin. He raised his eyebrow at her and she giggled.

`That's the thing, Harry! Ron broke up with me this morning! He fancies Luna!'

`Luna..?'

`Yes!' She jumped up happily and ran over to him, flinging her arms around his waist. `He knew we weren't going anywhere, and he broke it off!'

Harry looked at her, astounded. She looked so happy, her face was shining with mirth. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to break that happiness. She seemed to notice that he wasn't smiling, however, and she stopped smiling herself.

`What's wrong?'

Harry broke away from her and turned away. He didn't want to look at her when he made her miserable.

`Hermione… what does this mean? Because you know I can't-`

`Oh, balls to that.'

Harry stared.

`What?'

She giggled and carried on smiling. Harry looked on, completely stunned. He'd never heard her say anything so un-Hermione-ish.

`I said, balls to that. I'm not having you ruining this because of him.'

How did she know that? Harry shook his head in disbelief as Hermione giggled in front of him. How did she know that he was thinking of what would happen if Voldemort found out? Then again, he thought, she'd always known what he was thinking, and she was always as stubborn. She wouldn't let him ruin this, he knew she wouldn't. He grinned.

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5. Dizzy. (Attempt at NC-17)

A/N: Here you all go, my attempt at NC-17! Thanks for all the reviews and support! Now if this sucks, I have someone to blame! :P

If you wouldn't mind, I'd like as many reviews as possible on this, so I know whether to delve into NC-17 in the future.

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`And you're sure Ron's okay with this?'

She grinned back at him, seemingly reading his mind.

`Totally.'

`Great.'

With that, Harry grabbed Hermione around the waist and threw her onto her bed, Hermione giving a shriek of surprise. She giggled loudly as he kissed around her neck and shoulders with the same fervour as the first time they'd kissed, and she wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pushing his head as close to her as she could. His lips crawled up her neck and onto her lips as Harry once again slid his hand under her shirt. The roughness of his hands trailed upwards slowly, teasing her until she growled, much like the last time he did that. And again, he was only to happy to please, only this time, there was no material to stop him.

He took her breast into his hand and squeezed, the palm of his hand grazing her nipple. She arched her back and growled again, louder still. She could feel him grinning into their kiss and she reached for the bottom of his shirt, pulling it deftly over his head while he continued to massage her breasts, giving each one as much attention as the other. She ran her lips over his neck and shoulders, giving special attention to the star shaped tattoo that she loved so much. She ran her hands over it lovingly, noticing the warmth of Harry's hands had left her chest. Looking down, she saw him lift the bottom of her top up, and taking the hint, she took it off. Immediately she blushed; she had no bra on and Harry was staring at her as if he'd not eaten for several days. He grinned evilly at her before dipping down and starting on her belly button, kissing up a few kisses, then down a few, up a few, down a few. This pattern was driving Hermione insane as she grabbed Harry's hair in between her fingers. Finally he arrived at her breasts, and Hermione gasped audibly as he took one into his mouth, his hand paying due attention to the other.

After a while of Harry's attention to her chest, she decided that it was her turn to tease him. Easily, she turned them both over so Harry was underneath, then slowly kissed her way down his front. She ran her hands slowly and gently down his sides which made him giggle. She stopped and looked up at him, laughing and he cleared his throat, then made a very deep manly sounding `Ha. Ha. Ha.'

Hermione laughed and continued kissing her way past his belly button, undoing the large metal buckle of his belt. She felt him shudder as she broke open his button and slid down his fly, revealing a pair of plain black boxers. She grinned selfishly and looked up at Harry as she slid down first his jeans, then his boxers, wanting to see his face as she teased him. His eyes were closed and his jaw was clenched, he was moaning softly and she could catch phrases like `Fuck, baby…'

Hmm. Baby. I could get used to that.

She pulled her eyes away from his face to look down at his most intimate area and if possible, she grinned even more broadly. With an evil glint in her eye, she brought her hand to the tip of his penis and rolled it around in between her finger and thumb, playing. Teasing. His eyes flew open as he realised what she was doing and he growled.

`You're teasing me.'

She merely grinned and carried on playing. The effect that it was having was clear; his eyes kept opening and closing, rolling backwards and his teeth were clenched firmly shut. Laughing, she decided to put him out of his misery. She grasped the whole thing in her hand and began to pump up and down.

`Fuck!' He shouted, grabbing the sheets in his fists. Hermione giggled and pumped faster, causing Harry to growl and hiss, trying to keep quiet.

`What's the matter?' She asked him innocently, her hand still tightly around him.

Opening his eyes, he growled at her and brushed her hand away. She looked confused for a moment, before he grabbed a fistful of her hair, and pushed her head down, not so hard that she couldn't stop him, but hard enough to make her understand his urgency. Her mouth wrapped around his penis, and she brought her hand up to grasp him. Working with her mouth and her hand, she pumped him harder, his hand in her hair clenching so hard it almost began to hurt. grabbed a fistful of her hair, and pushed her head down, not so hard that she couldn't stop him, but hard enough to make her understand his urgency. Her mouth wrapped around his penis, and she brought her hand up to grasp him. Working with her mouth and her hand, she pumped him harder, his hand in her hair clenching so hard it almost began to hurt. Yet she carried on and on until he pulled his hand away.

`Hermione… I can't… hold on…'

She pulled away to watch him breathe deeply like he'd just run a marathon, his face hot and flushed. He looked down and her and grinned wickedly.

`My turn again.'

He flipped her over, pulled his jeans off the rest of the way and went to work on her hot-pants.

`I like these. You need to wear these, a lot.' He said huskily, as he slid them slowly down her legs, leaving her exposed to him. She could feel herself blushing as he looked over her, the hunger in his eyes turning to fire in his belly. Slowly he crawled up over her so that his face was hovering above hers. Then suddenly, with one slick motion, he slipped a finger into her.

`Oh!'

Hermione arched her back with pleasure, her eyes widening as Harry stroked her. He slipped another finger into her and she moaned. He watched her intently while bringing his hand up her thigh, feeling her butt and bringing it across her back. After a minute or two, his hand left her. She looked up to see what he was doing, then gasped loudly as she felt his lips against her opening. The feeling of his tongue doing amazing things to her was enough to send her over the edge.

He brought his head up to look at her, his eyes filled with so much want and need, her heart almost burst wide open. He needed this. He'd shut himself away for so long, not letting anyone in that he craved this contact. He looked up at her, a burning question in his eyes, and she understood.

`We don't have to do this…'

`No,' she said, bracing herself. Harry crawled over her so that his face was hovering over hers. `We do have to do this. I couldn't stop now even if I wanted to.'

Harry didn't need telling twice. Upon hearing those words he brought his lips firmly onto Hermione's, his tongue demanding access to her mouth. The mere fact that he kissed her before doing anything else after she'd just given him permission made her love him more than she ever thought she could. He respected her, and she loved him for it.

Breaking the kiss, he got into a position above her, his tip almost touching her, and stared into her eyes. Breathing deeply, she nodded and he pushed in.

Tears filled her eyes as she tried not to yelp out in pain. Harry froze.

`What's the matter? Did I hurt you?'

`No… it's okay… it's normal. Carry on…'

`But you're crying-`

`Carry on!'

Reluctantly, even though she was sure it was killing him, he moved slowly in and out of her. The pain slowly started to fade away as he sped up, still keeping that gentle pace. After a few moments, the pain had gone, and she grinned at him.

`I'm okay now.'

He took this as a signal, and started to build his speed and force, slamming into her as she moaned and shook beneath him. She could feel the sweat forming on his skin, the warmth between the two of them was enough to make her dizzy. He carried on pounding into her and she felt the fire in her belly flare up, however this time it was more of an explosion going off. She felt the throes of pleasure wash over her as she prepared for her climax. Finally, with a loud gasp, she came, and felt rather then saw Harry screw up his face as he finished at the same time. He collapsed onto her, red-faced and sweaty, and she threw the sheets around them both.

`That was…' He started. He looked like he couldn't quite get the words out.

`I know…' She was the same.

Untangling themselves from each other, they relaxed into a more comfortable position; Harry with his arm draped over Hermione, who snuggled into his chest. She lay on his arm and listened to his breathing slowing down, feeling herself getting tired.

`Stay with me?' She asked, threading her fingers through his.

`Of course.'

She smiled.

`Hey, I wanted to ask you something,' she said randomly, and she felt his head perk up to listen. `Why the tattoo and lip? You know they probably have magic versions of those…'

He chuckled and she sank into his embrace, his warmth washing over her. He kissed the back of her shoulder and sighed.

`It was just something I've always wanted to do, since I was little. My Aunty and Uncle used to hate them. So naturally I wanted one. And I've been so pissed off by the magic world lately, I just wanted something muggle for a change. And the lip… well, I just like it.'

She giggled at him, and he kissed her shoulder again.

`Did it hurt?'

`Yes.'

`Do you think I could take it?'

He lifted his head up to look at her questioningly.

`Why? What would you want?'

She turned her head and grinned at him cheekily.

`A snitch. On my hip.'

He laughed and wrapped a finger in her hair.

`Ah... I love you, Hermione.'

She turned her head once again to look at him, surprised.

`You do? Really?'

`Yeah,' he said. `I'm sorry I didn't say it before. It's just that too many people mistake it, I think, for just a really strong fondness for someone. I think that's what I did with Ginny. I wanted to make sure before I said something like that to you.'

She smiled serenely. She knew how much it meant to Harry to be told someone loved him. After years of abuse and a loveless family, it was something he needed.

`I love you too, Harry.'

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