Rating: NC17
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 13/06/2007
Last Updated: 21/06/2007
Status: In Progress
How did this happen to him? Him! The boy who had faced down the darkest lord in history and practically destroyed him at the age of one and lived! How could he have lost himself so completely… over a girl!!?? It was an impossible concept to him. Him being Harry Potter, or quite better known as The-Boy-Who-Lived. Please R&R!
Disclaimer
For those of you who wish to skip directly to the fic, all you need to know is I make no attempt to assume or criticize the properties of J.K. Rowling’s work. She is a brilliant author and I love her imagination, but sadly she has created the characters, events, and places of “Harry Potter” and not me. I only accredit myself to writing this story.
A/N: This is my first H/Hr fanfic so please be kind. I love H/Hr above all things in the Harry Potter fandom, and although I haven’t read all six books yet because I am fairly new fan I am already on the fourth. So if everything I say isn’t exactly precise please don’t criticize or scrutinize. This story is taking place right after the third book while including things from the movies and adding some things of my own. This story just came to me, and I hope I can convey it as well as the images in my head for you all to enjoy. Please R&R. It is very important to me. Also I am not British, I am American so please try to keep that in mind, although I will try to keep the language from the book the same as best as I can.
Summary: If you like angst, teen hardships, and great love stories with a lot of tension then I think you’ll really like this fan-fiction. (At least I hope so!) Most of the story is after the third book, although I will be going back to moments where some things have happened that didn’t happen in the book or movie, but the general concept of the third book is the same; namely Sirius, Buckbeak, Harry and Hermione going back in time. I will not be retelling the story because that was J.K.’s job, but I will show some scenes in a different light. For time reference this story takes place in fourth year. This is just a story that came to me and I have to put it down in words because I think it’s unique, and as much as I love reading other’s work I would like to have a go at it myself. Without further ado…
Warning Sign
Crash
How did this happen to him? Him! The boy who had faced down the darkest lord in history and practically destroyed him at the age of one and lived! How could he have lost himself so completely… over a girl!!?? It was an impossible concept to him. Him being Harry Potter, or quite better known as The-Boy-Who-Lived.
But then again, as he kept telling himself, this was no ordinary girl. No. All this torture, and all this pain was due, quite frankly, to the brightest witch at Hogwarts…Hermione Granger.
Hermione. The girl who had saved his life more times then he could count. The girl who always stood by his side no matter what. The girl who understood him in ways no one else ever did in his life. The girl who changed his world, and turned it completely and utterly upside down.
How had he gone from seeing sweet little innocent bookworm Hermione, his best friend, to everything he would ever want or need in his life? Sure, he had always needed her in one way or another, but wanting her the way that he did had to be fatal.
And how did all of this happen to him? He wasn’t sure he knew. He knew the events that had transpired like the back of his hand, and he knew that ever since then it was as if he had been falling from the sky off of his broom with nothing to grasp on to. He was just falling mid air with no sure sign he would ever reach the bottom in one piece.
And then what happened?
He crashed.
He crashed and fell into an abyss so deep and so dark that nothing in his past, not Dementors or Lord Voldemort himself, was as dark as the hole he had found himself in. He knew if he ever wanted to really live again that she was the only one that could drag him out of the suffocating hell that was killing him slowly. And it was quite ironic really because she was the reason for his constant agony. She was the reason he felt he hadn’t been able to breathe right in months. She was the reason, his reason for everything.
Well…the time had come to show that “she” that he meant business, and with that Harry went outside McGonagall’s office to the sheet and wrote his name down. He was going to do this if it killed him because if he admitted to himself he already felt as dead inside as he could.
A/N: Hey guys…I just wanted to tell you that a lot of this story is going to contains songs, and I know that most people just quickly dismiss the song lyrics and read the fanfic, (I being one of them) but I just wanted to say that if you can you should really try to listen to the songs I put in here because they really set the mood and show what Harry is feeling. Okay, thanks! Don’t forget to R&R! And I know the last chapter, and this one are a little short, but I wrote this a few months ago so the first few chapters aren't that long. The good thing though is that they're already written so the updates will be very short. Oh and the song I used in this chapter is “The Scientist” by Coldplay.
Gone
“Come up to meet you, Tell you I’m sorry, You don’t know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart.
Tell me your secrets, And ask me your questions, Oh let’s go back to the start.
Runnin’ in circles, Comin’ at tails, Heads on the science apart.
Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start...”
And as Harry lay on his bed with his headphones jammed into his ears listening to his favorite band, Coldplay, he let his mind go back to the start…where it had all began.
If he was going to be honest, for him, IT had always been there. Like an underlying tumor that’s been covered for years that all of a sudden has spread to every part of your body like a cancer… Well that’s what it had been like, and that’s exactly what that IT did to Harry.
To call him daft would have been an understatement, for how he had never realized his feelings before after all the times that he had been around her he didn’t know. He would feel little stomach flutters when she complimented him, or when he would see that etched brow of worry for him cross her features. It was like she placed him above others, and as her top priority. He couldn’t lie and say that he didn’t love it because he very well did, but anytime he felt those tingling sensations he just pushed the feelings aside and never set much to dwell on them. Until, that is, they were in their third year.
I guess it had started when Hermione sent her beloved birthday gift to him the summer before third year, and he had realized then just how well she knew him. He had simply loved his Broomstick Service Kit, and he loved it more knowing that it came from her. Then when he had finally seen her again at the Leaky Cauldron with Ron…he couldn’t deny that he had felt utter joy at the sight of her at the bottom of the steps, and how her smile widened when she saw him. At the time he just told himself those were all friendly feelings that he felt. He had missed her, and Ron for that matter…that was all. Right?
Oh how daft he had been. He wished he could go back a year ago and just shake himself out of his utter daze of bewilderment. He never was the sharpest tack when it came to feelings or girls.
Another flash of memory fled into Harry’s mind as he listened intently to his music…it was as if he was watching a movie of their history. It was of Him, Hermione, and Ron walking through the train to Hogwarts as he explained the story of blowing up his Aunt. Ron had found it amusing, but Hermione, as always, was in the same range of thinking as he was. Come to think of it they were always on the same page…even then in all their naivety.
He had remembered how worried she had looked when he told her and Ron about Sirius, when he had thought he was out to kill him. Her face was filled with utter fear for him. And then the way their eyes met each others when the train had come to a stop and the lights went out, whilst their cold breaths mingled in the air. They had looked at each other because as he now understood they had both wanted to protect each other.
All thoughts came back to her. Her being the first face he had awoken to after he passed out from the Dementor. Her handing him his glasses, and making sure he was all right. Her calming him when Malfoy belittled him about passing out. Her voice cheering from the stands while he was on his broom during Quidditch. Her being the closest to him, sitting on his bed, when he woke up in the hospital wing after falling from the sky, asking how he felt. Her kneeling before him, drawing him out from his invisibility cloak when he was so vulnerable.
He remembered the little things now as he engraved them into his mind…those little things that were all warning signs of what was to come. They were forever etched into his memory, to his heart. He was just thinking of their times over and over in his mind because they were what kept him going. The past kept him going because as of now they didn’t have a present, and he surely wanted, no, needed a future with her. There was just no other option for him. She was his answer to all the unasked questions he had never known to ask himself. She was just, simply put, everything. Everything that reminded him of the aching in his heart, the pounding in his head, the void of warmth in his soul. With one kiss of her lips, and touch of her skin she had completely and utterly ruined him. He didn’t fathom a way to go back at that point... Back down that road where she hadn’t been in his every waking moment and memory.
So he was stuck…stuck in complete misery day after day.
He had found that nothing he did seemed to take the pain of her away from his mind. Nothing…except for music. Sure it seems strange for a powerful wizard like himself to take a liking to something so trivial, but that was only because he hadn’t taken the time to appreciate its enormous impact. At the end of third year after he and Hermione had helped Sirius escape with Buckbeak he had sent them both owls, with letters and gifts. Hermione’s gift was a book on advanced spells, for Sirius knew she was quite the reader being the brightest witch of her age, as he had called her. Harry’s however was an iPod. Sirius' letter said that it was quite popular in the states, and he had even cast a spell on it so that it could be listened to in Hogwarts and not go haywire. Sirius told Harry that he thought it would help him to take his mind off of things when he got stressed. It definitely did indeed.
Everywhere Harry went so did his iPod. They were inseparable. Funny how he and Hermione used to be just that, and had barely spoken in weeks. Everyone around Harry had noticed the dramatic change in his behavior. He was usually alone, and always had those earphones shoved in his ears. It was as if he was escaping into a different world, and avoiding life at Hogwarts. People especially noticed that he and Hermione seemed to be on rocky terms since the train ride to school that summer.
Oh how he had dreaded that day, but secretly anticipated it as well. It was a nice paradox of irony. He dreaded it because he knew he would have to face her again, and the way they had left things last term he knew he wasn’t ready. But at the same time he couldn’t wait to see her again, and hope against hope that maybe, just maybe she had forgiven him. There was also the added fact of getting as far away from the Dursley’s as possible, which he didn’t even seem to mind much that summer because he was already in more pain then he knew he could possibly have been in. He had never, and would never intentionally hurt her, and that is what made him so angry now. How could she have not known that? That it was something else entirely, and had nothing to do with her.
Well of course it had to do with her you prat he thought to himself. He didn’t know what he was angrier about: her, him or their whole dire situation… probably the latter. He couldn’t stand it anymore… the silence, her absence. The tension when they did see each other. The bloody tension was enough to drive him to drink. He had gotten to be quite the self-pitying bloke latley, even entertained suicidal thoughts. That is what he hated about himself most. How had he, HARRY BLOODY POTTER, become SO pathetic!?
He knew.
Because she was gone.
A/N: Hello again…thanks to the people who have been reading and reviewing, although I know most of you are still confused I am telling you now to just be patient and all the answers will be revealed soon. I don’t want to tell you everything in the beginning because I myself have read plenty of fanfics, and I know that that takes away from a story. So please just be patient with me, and I promise that I will NOT disappoint you. Thanks, and don’t forget to R&R!
Lost
Harry was fed up! He had bloody well had it! Couldn’t he catch a damn break??
He had been in Snape’s class, and as usual, had his iPod on. Harry had performed an illusory spell before hand so that it was invisible to others. Snape must have asked Harry a question several times because he hadn’t heard him until he was standing right in front of him yelling “POTTER!” Harry had quickly taken his earphones out from his ears, which looked quite strange because no one else could see them, and Snape caught on.
“Well, Well, Well…think your cleaver do you Mr. Potter?” With the wave of his hand his iPod was now visible, and he had snatched it from Harry’s hands before he could react.
“GIVE IT BACK!” He yelled jumping to his feet as if ready to pounce.
“How dare you have the nerve to come into my class, and deceivingly listen to this contraption! And then have the nerve to yell! Well now you won’t be able to listen to it at all because I am keeping it until you change your self-righteous attitude! Detention, and thirty points from Gryffindor for your misconduct. Not too cleaver anymore are we, Mr. Potter?” Snape said snidely as he went to turn back around to walk away.
“I SAID GIVE IT BACKKKK!!!!” Harry yelled, as he tried to grab the iPod from Snape. Everyone in the class who had already had their eyes transfixed on the spat gasped.
“Mr. Potter. You would do well to remember where you are, and that I am your teacher! Ten more points from Gryffindor! Care to make it anymore?”
“FINE! DON’T GIVE IT BACK!” Harry went to grab his things off his desk, and just as he did he caught Hermione looking at him with utter coldness, and disappointment. He wanted to die. He turned to walk out the door, and Snape walked right in front of him before he could leave.
“And just where do you think your going? I suggest you sit yourself back down before you take more points from your house, and you have detention indefinitely.”
“No. I’m going to Dumbledore, and you’re going to give me back my iPod or I’ll--
He was cut off when Hermione suddenly rose up from her chair, and gave him one of the coldest stares he had ever seen, but then again he’d seen a fair few lately.
“Oh Harry will you stop being an incessant prat, and just sit down before you cost us all the points we have worked so hard for!”
He was angry now… so angry in fact that he thought he might internally combust…he had heard of it happening before. He walked right in front of her, and looked her square in the eyes with a glare.
“Are you sure you don’t mean all the points YOU worked so hard for Hermione? Because we all know what a know-it-all you are!” Hurt. He was sure he’d seen that look cross her face. And just when he was about to celebrate that he could actually still hurt her she went ahead and shot him…well, not literally, but that’s what it felt like.
“You know what Harry!?…I think YOU’RE the know-it-all! You think the world owes you something because your 'The-Boy-That-Lived?' Well I guess it's your misfortune to know that the world doesn't owe you a thing! You are, quite frankly, the most selfish, self-righteous person I've ever met! Grow up already!"
He stood there, frozen, waiting for someone to shake him and wake him from his nightmare…but no one did. Harry was utterly shell-shocked. Had she just called him the same thing Snape had called him not two minutes ago? Had she actually agreed with him? Who was this girl? She had just embarrassed him in front of the entire class, and he was sure that he had turned twelve shades of scarlet. This couldn’t be the Hermione he knew, could it? The one that he had been dying over for months!!! And suddenly he snapped.
How dare she yell at him, and take Snapes side! How dare she insult him, and tell him what he was, and wasn’t! He had been slowly slipping away all because of her, and THIS is what he got? No bloody way! He was determined to make her feel just an ounce of what he felt.
And then he did.
In a calmer voice then before he said “You know...I don’t know what I ever saw in you.” When he did he saw her jaw drop slightly, parting her trembling lips. He saw her eyes were glistened with filling tears. And then he thought isn’t that you wanted? To win? And then he had realized in that moment that he had lost. Lost it all. Lost her. There was no way back now because he had just, in so many unspoken words, ended whatever chance there might have been for him and her. He hung his head low in defeat, and walked out of the classroom. Not even hearing Snape yelling “Get back here Potter,” after him, or Malfoy’s “I knew you hated him! Ugh, that was bloody brilliant Mudblood!”
He was lost, never to be found again. If they asked about him in the future they would say Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, and completely lost it over a girl. He didn’t know where to go, or what to do. He felt like yelling his brains out, or sobbing on the floor like a girl. Both seeming like pretty good options at the moment. He was a bloody idiot. He should have kept his damn mouth shut! But then again, she had started in on him first, right? But that look in her eyes, Jesus. He would have lynched himself right there if he could have. He had put that look there, and for that he wanted to cease to exist.
Just then his face bumped into something or someone. "Umph." He looked up to see that it was Minerva McGonagall.
“Oh Harry, do watch where your going,” she said in her stern disciplinarian voice
“Sorry,” he muttered looking at the ground. Seems he had a lot to apologize for lately. Suddenly he felt her hand on his shoulder, and he quickly looked up.
“Harry, can I have a word with you in my office?”
“Sure.” And with that they both started the short walk down the hall.
A/N: I hope you are all enjoying the story so far, although I wish more people would review. I know the chapters are short, but I did that in the beginning so that it would make it easier to update faster. They get longer, which is why I took a break because I was still in school and I couldn't do both. Now I have some free time so I will have to start writing again. But yes, the first few chapters aren't that long. But I think I've been updating a lot to make up for it, so I hope that counts for something. Please continue to R&R! Oh and I just realized that in this scene McGonagall knows about Sirius being good. So for arguments sake lets just say she does in this fic before I get people telling me I'm such a newbie I can't write fanfiction ever again lol.
Complicated
As Harry walked into Professor McGonagall’s office he saw that damn blasted sign up sheet again. He sighed. What was the point now? She wouldn’t care either way now. He dismissed his thoughts when McGonagall told him to sit down.
“Take a seat Harry.” And he did. He watched as she sat across from him, and a look of concern and concentration was sketched on her face.
“Harry…I don’t know that you know this, but I, as well as the rest of the staff have been watching you lately and noticed a change in your behavior.” Was it that damn obvious? He thought. She continued. “I just wanted to know if something happened whilst you were on leave from Hogwarts with those Muggles.” She stressed this last word in a sarcastic and threatening way. Harry almost wanted to laugh…almost.
“No nothing unusual happened…same old fun.” Harry didn’t even look phased. McGonagall studied him for a moment before speaking again.
“Well, I know you may not realize this because I amyour teacher, but if you ever wanted to talk about anything then I am here to help. Even things you feel you can’t talk about with anyone else.” He laughed a little to himself. Yeah, like he was really going to bare his soul to a teacher. Well better her then no one at all Harry’s subconscious dully noted. Oh bugger off!
“Well thank you, but that isn’t necessary,” Harry answered as politely as he could.
“Very well then, if you’re sure then I won’t continue pestering you.” He paused momentarily, and then thought…well maybe just this one thing.
“Well there is one thing...you see Sirius, my godfather, gave me a very personal gift that I have grown very accustomed to these past few months, and just now, in class, Professor Snape took it from me. I was just wondering if there was anyway that you could—err—I don’t know…” She eyed him for a moment then spoke.
“What is this gift that you have grown so accustomed to?” She asked interested.
“An iPod. You see he told me it is a very popular invention in the states, and he thought it would help me with stress. The fact is I didn’t know how much I could love a gadget or music for that matter until he gave it to me. I just don’t know how I’ll get by without it now.” Harry tried to give his best distressing plea, although he knew the way he was looking those days he wouldn’t have to try all too hard.
“Well if you got on well without it before I don't see how it would consume you so to where you couldn't survive without it. Honestly, to grow that attached to a material possession...and I don’t know that questioning a Professors motives is in my forte." Harry just pleaded at her with his emerald eyes. "But if you say that it is this important to you…then I will try and reason with him Potter. Harry, just what kind of stress have you been under?”
He sighed a long exhausted sigh, thought, and then knew that he would never be able to explain the stress he had been dealing with. He felt like he was hit by bludgers every ten minutes, andhadhishappiest memoriessucked out of him by a Dementor at least every hour. He felt so cold anymore, and unattached to everything. He had even been alienating his best friend, Ron, who seemed to be the only person that continued to try to talk to him. But he knew even Ron wouldn’t keep trying much longer with the way Harry had been acting lately. Harry decided a generic answer would have to do.
“It’s complicated.” McGonagall did not look pleased with that answer.
“Harry, you can’t very well keep it inside of you forever. Why don’t you just try to talk about it? Maybe I can help. Aside from being a teacher, I am a woman, and I have lived beyond these walls of Hogwarts." Somehow, Harry doubted that. But he thought he had nothing left to lose, and everything to gain. So he decided he would try to explain his dismal and dire life situation as best as he could to his teacher, though he might have to drink some fire whisky before the night was through…
A/N: This chapter will be a flashback taking place a little before the Time Turner scene; right after Sirius (in his animagus form) dragged Ron into the Whomping Willow. I am not actually going to have Harry saying what happened to McGonagall. I’ll just show the scene instead, and you can assume him telling her how he felt rather then the actual events that transpired. You’ll see why soon. Oh and I credit the screenplay writers of “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” for some dialogue in this chapter because I had to use some of it for the scenes to be accurate. R&R!
A Promise
Wack! Harry and Hermione had just been swatted like flies by the WhompingWillow, and had both fallen to the ground. Hermione was up first, and helped Harry by picking him up by the arm. Harry had felt it again. No Harry! You can’t bloody well have flutters now while there’s a tree trying to kill you both. Just protect her from getting hurt!
And he had tried, tugging her along behind him; hand in hand, and step for step.
And then “Move!” He directed her so the huge branch wouldn’t stomp on her. And then he pulled her up.
“Duck!” He heard her shout just as he got hit with the branch, falling to the ground with his glasses flying off. He could hardly register anything when the tree had tried to step on him again, but he heard it. Her voice, screaming. A high pitched scream, and then his name, and he could barely see her form with his glasses off. He frantically searched around for his glasses so that he could rescue her, and just when he had found them and put them back on he heard her voice yell “Harry!” He saw her grasping desperately to a branch, and before he could think of a way to help her he felt her hand grab his shirt, and pull him with her. He was flying mid air when she threw him into the hole he had seen Ron go through.
He landed on his back with an “Ahh!” That Hermione was strong. And then he realized just how strong she was when she landed right on top of him seconds later.
“Ahh! Oh, I’m sorry.” She said it so cutely though, like she really needed to apologize. Her lips were right against his neck, and her breath was hot from her weakened panting. He shivered. Had her lips always been that soft? He had never known. Her hair was splayed all across his face, and he inhaled her flowery scent. She smelled like nothing he had ever smelled before, which surprised him given the fact that they had been running and sweating. It was a cross between daffodil and lily. Gorgeous, he thought. His hand had subconsciously gone to her hair, and he stroked it which only made her breath become more ragged and long against his neck. He shivered again, and she had slowly raised her head to look at him. Had she noticed?
Oh God, oh god! I’m stroking her hair, smelling her, and shivering like an idiot! Of course she noticed! Okay say something cleaver! Wow, she has pretty eyes. They’re like a cross between honey, and cinnamon. Why is she smiling? Wait, why am I smiling? I probably look like a big buffoon. Okay say something Harry, anything!
“No worries.” As he said this he realized just how close their faces were. Their noses barely grazing. Their breaths mingled. It was the most sexually charged moment (mind you there hadn’t been many) of his life because suddenly he became fully aware of the fact that Hermione was on top of him. Her legs intertwined with his. Her arms around his head. Her lips inches away. Her eyes burning through his very soul. He thought if he died in that moment, he would have died a happy man looking into those eyes. He reached up his hand to brush a stray piece of hair from her face and placed it behind her ear, and she smiled at him. He loved her smile. He loved making her smile, but this smile suddenly looked so unique to him. Like he was looking at it in a new light. Maybe it had something to do with that fact that he had never been that close to her before, and hadn’t taken the time to appreciate her lips, and the way they curved into a cute smugness that was all her. He suddenly admitted the fact that he liked being this close to her, and he wondered what it would be like to kiss the smugness right off of her soft lips.
Snap out of it mate! This is Hermione! You know your bookwormish-bossy-best friend!? Harry wanted to punch that part of his subconscious into oblivion. Sod off you git! Harry was suddenly shaken out of his daze when he felt a weight leave his body, and saw that Hermione had risen to her feet, and pulled on his arm to get him to do the same. He felt a little peeved that she had ended the moment, but he thought that he would have ample time to make new ones with her, and made a promise to himself to do so.
“Where do you suppose this goes?” She asked as he dusted himself off to regain some of his composure to lead them forward.
“I have a hunch. I just hope I’m wrong.” They walked up steps, and all the while the only noise Harry could hear was their breathing. When they came to what looked like an attic door at the end of the stairs Harry stuck his head in first to look around, and just as he had turned he saw that Hermione had done the same. Their noses were grazing again, and it was all becoming too much for Harry not to grab her face and snog her senseless right there. He decided to break the silence, and say something.
“Hi.” He whispered right against her face. She smiled, shaking her head slightly at, no doubt, his goofiness and whispered back.
“Hi. You’re a loon, you know that?” They tried to suppress giggles, but were failing miserably. Wait, weren’t they in there to find Ron?
“I try.” Then Harry decided it was time to get back to business, and help his friend. He stepped forward and turned back to help Hermione up and took her hand in his.
“We’re in the Shrieking Shack, aren’t we?” She asked looking worried.
“Come on.” Trying to urge them forward up another staircase. He started to speed up a bit, with her right behind him, when he heard screaming. He looked into a door opening, and saw his friend.
“Ron! The dog…where is he?”
“Harry! It’s a trap. He’s the dog. He’s an animagus!” Pointing behind Harry, and Hermione. And again, their eyes followed the same path until they saw him…Sirius Black. Suddenly he felt, rather then saw, Hermione move from the spot where she stood beside him to right in front of him where she held him in place with her hands, and stood with her backside pushed right against him. He knew he should be thinking about other things, but the only thought he could muster was of her extreme closeness. Bloody hell man! She’s protecting you now? Why don’t you just wear a damn skirt! Then he heard her speak.
“If you want to kill Harry then you’ll have to kill us too!” She yelled at the man. The man, who he believed to have killed his parents, spoke back.
“No, only one will die tonight.” Suddenly Harry remembered his rage, and he pushed Hermione away forcefully before grabbing the man by his neck, and throwing him to the ground. He pulled out his wand, and the man laughed.
“Are you going to kill me Harry?” Suddenly, before he could answer, Professor Lupin burst through the door.
“Expelliamus!” And Harry’s wand was cast from his hand. Lupin tilted his head to tell Harry to move. When he did he was eagerly greeted by Hermione’s arm, which pulled him right beside her again. Again he was gone from any other thoughts but her closeness. He knew that Lupin and Sirius were talking, but he couldn’t really get his mind to listen until he felt Hermione’s body jerk against his, and heard her tattered breathing. Then she was a few feet in front of him yelling at the men who were, hugging? What was going on?
“NO! I trusted you! And all this time—you’ve been his friend…” She turned back to Harry and Ron before whipping back to the men. “He’s a werewolf. That’s why he’s been missing classes.”
“How long have you known?” Lupin inquired.
“Since Professor Snape set the essay.”
“Well, well, well Hermione you really are the brightest witch of you age I’ve ever met—
Before Harry could even subconsciously agree Sirius cut them off.
“Enough talk Remus…come on let’s kill him!” The man said.
“WAIT!”
“I DID MY WAITING! TWELEVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!” Harry realized that Hermione was beside him again, and she was breathing heavily. Harry eyed Lupin, feeling the sting of betrayal before hearing him speak again.
“Very well. Kill him, but wait one more minute. Harry has the right to know why.”
“I know why…” His voice came out shaky, and he could feel Hermione’s eyes on him. “You betrayed my parents…you’re the reason they’re dead.”
“No Harry, it wasn’t him. Somebody did betray your parents, but it was somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead.”
“Who was it then!?”
“Peter Pettigrew...” The other man answered. “And he’s in this room, right now. COME OUT, COME OUT PETER! COME OUT, COME OUT AND PLAYYY!” Just then Snape burst in the room.
“Expelliamus!” He yelled making Sirius’ wand go flying. Hermione gasped, and pushed herself closer to Harry. “Ahh vengeance is sweet…how I hoped I’d be the one to catch you.”
“Severus…” Lupin tried to speak calmly and approach Snape until he pointed his wand at him, and he backed away.
“I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle, and now here’s the proof.”
“Brilliant Snape. Once again you put your keen and penetrating mind to the task, and as usual come to the wrong conclusion. Now if you’ll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to." Just then Snape put his wand to Sirius’ throat.
“Give me a reason. I beg you.” They went on arguing. Snape threatening something about a “Dementor’s kiss.” Just then Harry reached his arm over Hermione’s back, letting it lay there for a moment until his fingers grazed her hand slightly, and took her wand from her pocket. He approached the men, and Snape ticked his head to the door for Harry to leave when Harry pointed his wand at him and cast the Expelliamus spell making him fly back against a bed.
“Harry, what did you just do?” He heard a frightened Ron ask.
“You attacked a teacher!” He heard Hermione say disbelievingly herself. He would tend to them later. Right now it was time for answers. And after more conversation he got them.
Turns out that Peter Pettigrew was Ron’s rat, Scabbers, and had hidden himself for twelve years in his animagus form. Pettigrew was in fact the one who had handed Harry’s parents over to Voldemort to be killed. Remus and Sirius had remained loyal to his family, and had wanted to kill Pettigrew right there, but Harry insisted for them not to. He wanted to take him back to the castle so that the Dementor’s could have their way with him. He had figured too that his father wouldn’t have wanted his two best friends to become killers. And with that they had made their way back to the castle.
Harry had wanted to talk to Sirius, but at the same time thought he should stay behind with Hermione and tend to Ron, whose leg was accidentally bitten by Sirius in his animagus form. She had told him she would stay with Ron because she knew, as always, what he had needed at that moment. Sirius was the closest thing to family he had, and she knew he would want to talk with him. He silently thanked her for that. As they were talking, Sirius had suggested that if Harry wanted to he could and live with him. Just then Hermione broke them from their conversation.
“Harry!” She had just looked at him, and pointed to the full moon. And with that Harry, as well as everyone else, knew that Professor Lupin was about to change into a werewolf. And as he did, Pettigrew transformed back into a rat and got away. Harry had tried to go after him, but as if Hermione could read his thoughts she grabbed him back the second he even attempted to run. And when she approached the werewolf to see if there was any signs of consciousness from Lupin left Harry thought his heart had sunk to the ground. But she had just as quickly come back to his and Ron’s arms.
Then Snape reappeared, and he had just started to yell at Harry when he too saw the werewolf, and instead tried to protect them. Harry was surprised by his gesture, but later reasoned it was probably just because he was a teacher, and it had been a reflex. Sirius was back in his animagus form, and had tried to fight off Lupin, but Harry had run after them to make sure the werewolf wouldn’t hurt him. He had thrown a rock at his head, and it had approached him angrily ready to scratch into him when he heard what he thought to be another werewolf howl. He had just been saved, and silently thanked whatever it was because the werewolf followed the cry.
He heard Sirius’ whimpers, and then saw his form change back into man. He ran after him to see if he was alright when he realized he was on the ground unconscious near the lake. Just then the water around them turned to ice. Sirius awoke with a yell, and Harry looked to see Dementor’s flying over-head. They had already begun on Sirius when Harry cast the Expecto Patronum spell. It wasn’t nearly strong enough, and then they started on Harry, then Sirius again, taking turns. The cold was filling Harry’s body, and then it stopped suddenly when he saw what looked like a deer of bright light walk across the lake and then encircle all of the Dementor’s, making them take off. Sirius breathed life again, and before Harry gave into weakness he saw the light fade from the wand of a figure standing across the lake. Could it be? Then he saw black.
A/N: Hey guys...thanks for all the reviews. Hope you like the fast updating because that will come to an end once I have to resume writing lol…although I will try to keep the updates rolling as quickly as I can. This scene takes place after Harry was in McGonagall's office, and the whole Time Turner scene will be rehashed as well. Just sit tight, read & review! The song in this scene is "I Still..." by the Backstreet Boys. Also the chapter after this is a long one...so I think you will all be happy to know that.
One
"Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?
Baby
No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go..."
And Harry couldn't...he just couldn't. No matter how angry he had been at her in that instant in Snape's class he knew then that he could never possibly let her go. Even if she wasn't around him like she used to be, and even if she refused to speak to him, or acknowledge his presence...he knew.
The thought that kept crossing his mind was that she didn't.
She probably assumed, and rightfully so since you were a complete prat he added, that he had regretted everything from those nine dreadful words he had said to her that played through his head night after night. "I don't know what I ever saw in you." And her face, her eyes that rimmed with tears just from those nine little deceitful words he wished so hard had been nine different ones. Nine words that could have told her the truth of the pain, and hell he was going through without her. But no, he had wanted to get her back. HA! Backfired didn't it you bloody git?
"...I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you
Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last (to last)
I try to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know..."
She didn't know...how could he expect her to? After what he had said to her he regrettably admitted to himself that he wouldn't blame her for never speaking to him again. And then he thought if he were in her shoes nothing she could ever say to him would change what he felt for her, or make him turn her away. So in turn he decided that she didn't care for him that way anymore, or in anyway anymore. He hated the torture his subconscious mind put him through, but he hated the feeling that settled uneasily in his stomach, and made a knot tighten in his throat more that his fears may in fact be true...she doesn't care.
Sitting in the common room on the couch by the fire, and listening to his music Harry thought about his visit to McGonagall's office, and how she had in fact helped a fair bit. She had gotten his iPod back from Professor Snape for him, which had helped in itself because music was somewhat of a therapy for Harry. Aside from that he had told her everything...well, not everything because...well, let's face it, he couldn't. But he had told her the importance of everything that had happened in snippets, and how it had made him feel. She told him that women were simpler then men would ever imagine...they just asked for honesty, and more then likely they put up a front of being strong-willed just so they didn't disappoint their gender. They didn't want to cave first.
Harry had pondered that he didn't care about disappointing the world if it meant he could be with Hermione again, and have her feel the way he felt for her...he would surely do it with no questions asked. It wasn't about being the stronger one to him because he knew whole-heartedly that she had reduced him to a weakened blubbering buffoon, and he didn't care. No...his issue was that if he were the first to breech the subject, or pour his heart out to her she would down right reject him if she didn't punch him in the face first like she had down to Malfoy in third year.
He was scared. Harry Potter was scared of being rejected by a girl. Petrified, if he let himself be honest because she was the girl in his opinion. The alpha and omega of everything in his world. He knew if he wanted to win her back he would have to go bigger then words. He would have to go above and beyond, and embarrass himself like he had never done before. And he was going to...his name was on the sheet, and all plans were a go...well except for the train wreck that would proceed if she wasn't won over by his grand gesture. No, she had to be... there was just no other options for him. There was no plan B.
He stared into the fire as if to ask it how did it all come down to this? How did we get here? He knew because it was the sole memory that kept his blood flowing, and his brain functioning. It kept his heart beating, and his soul inside. It kept giving him the will to wake up every day even when he would rather lay in bed to block out the world. One memory of one night had kept him going for months with no sign of a second coming.
One.
A/N: Hey guys...this chapter the longest thus far. It is also the time turner scene done my way. Forgive where my thoughts traveled, but it would have made for much more interesting watching, in my opinion. This is the last chapter I had written so the next update may be a little while because it’s been months since I started this. So be patient with me. I’ll update A.S.A.P. Enjoy & R&R! I accredit the Harry Potter screenplay writers of “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” for a lot of dialogue contained in this scene.
Possibilities
"Harry?" Hermione's soft voice called. Slowly Harry opened his eyes, and said the last thought that was on his mind before he blacked out near the lake...
"I saw my dad," He said realizing he was in the hospital wing, and that Hermione was right by his side. She got closer to him, bracing herself on the bed with her hands, shocked at his awakening and the impact of his words.
"What!?"
"He sent the Dementors away. I saw him across the lake." He smiled at the thought, and her presence. She was even closer now, and she put her hands on his arm like she always did when she had something to say when she was worried. He realized then that he loved wakening up to Hermione's face, and since he had done it on many occasions (because he'd had quite a few scares in the past) he was growing used to the fact that she was always by his side. He liked it, a lot, and he would never take their time together for granted a second longer. He rubbed his hand up her thigh that was pressed against his bed, and smiled before she spoke again.
"Listen Harry they've captured Sirius. Any second now the Dementor's are going to perform the kiss." Now he was awake.
"You mean their going to kill him?" He reached for his glasses before sitting up on the bed looking to Hermione for her answer.
"No it's worse...much worse. They’re going to suck out his soul." Just then Dumbledore came through the doors before Harry could react to the impact of Hermione's words. She was already on her way to do it for him, as usual.
"Headmaster you've got to stop them! They've got the wrong man!" Her voice cracked. He had to regain his composure, and not let her do all the work this time. This was his godfather after all...his only real family.
"Its true sir, Sirius is innocent." Harry said stepping to Hermione's side to concur.
"It's Scabbers who did it..." Ron's voice came from the hospital bed on the other side of the room. His leg was in a cast, and Harry wondered why he hadn't noticed him before. Then he thought well when you wake up to her face you don't very well want to notice anything else, am I right?
"Scabbers?" Dumbledore questioned.
"Yeah, he was my rat sir...well he's not really a rat. Well he was a rat, he was my Brother Percy's rat, but then they gave him an owl..." Hermione whipped around back to Dumbledore probably tired of Ron's babbling, as he was.
"Point is we know the truth. Please believe us." Harry thought if she put it that way how anyone could not believe her was beyond him...she was so sincere. Dumbledore put his hand on her shoulder before speaking.
"I do Miss Granger, but I'm sorry to say the words of three thirteen year old wizards will convince few others..." He said as he walked over to Ron's bed. "A child's voice, however honest and true is meaningless for those who forgot how to listen." Then Dumbledore placed a firm hand on Ron's foot, and patted it.
"Ah." Ron whimpered making a painful face, and inhaling deeply. Just then the clock chimed and Dumbledore looked like he had a plan. He had to, he always did.
"Mysterious thing time..." He said before walking past Harry and Hermione toward the chiming. "Powerful, and when meddled with dangerous. Sirius Black is in the top most cell of the dark tower." He quickly turned back to them. "You know the laws Miss Granger...you must not be seen. And you will do well I feel to return before this last chime. If not the consequences are too ghastly to discuss."
Wait, what? What was he talking about? Laws? Consequences? And why on earth was he telling Hermione? Surely she’s just as baffled as I am. He looked at her, but she had a concentrated look on her face as she listened intently to Dumbledore's every word.
"If you succeed tonight more the one innocent life may be spared. Three turns should do it I think." He winked before walking out of the door. He popped in again. "Oh, by the way, when in doubt I found retracing my steps to be a wise place to begin. Good luck." And then he was gone.
"What in the bloody hell was that all about?" Ron asked, taking the words right out of Harry's mouth.
"Sorry Ron, but seeing as you can't walk." Harry was completely confused, and when Hermione reached in her jacket he was distracted as well. She pulled out a long chain, and looped it around Harry's head so they were both encircled around it. She put her hands on a small oval in the center, and when Harry placed his hand on it she smacked it away. Hey! He thought, as he stared at her determined face that was focused on the oval. Okay, so no touching then?
Just then she turned the circle, which held what looked like an hourglass inside, and it started spinning backwards. All of a sudden flashes of scenes from the previous day rapidly circled around them, and Harry was fixated on them until, that is, Hermione's face was inches away from his and she wrapped her arm around his neck to take the chain off of him. It was just for a second, but he thought she was about to kiss him. Yeah, keep dreaming. He must have been dreaming because he just thought that they had gone back in time, and that just wasn't possible...was it? She put the chain back in her jacket, and he finally spoke.
"What just happened? Where's Ron?"
"Seven-Thirty...where were we at seven-thirty?" Wait, am I supposed to answer?
"I don't know...going to Hagrids?" Just then she grabbed his arm for him to follow after her, which he would gladly do at any time of the day.
"Come on...and we can't be scene." She started running so he ran too, trying to keep up.
"Hermione?" He asked once they had started running. "Hermione? Hermione, wait." He said after a few minutes. "Hermione will you please tell me what it is we're doing?" Just then she had stopped running when they came to an opening, and she looked out, which he did as well and saw him, Hermione and Ron from earlier in the day when she had punched Malfoy in the mouth. Wait a second...
"But...that's us. This is not normal--" Just then she swung her arm around to push him back, and then placed her hands on his shoulders, forcefully pushing him up against the wall. He was suddenly out of breath, and then she reached back in her jacket for the chain. He thought he would lose it. He was transfixed by her, and their eyes were locked. He suddenly wanted to smash her up against the wall, and see just how forceful she would be pinned against him.
"This is a time turner Harry..." He looked down to see it in her hands, and he tried not to stare at her chest. Best friend, best friend, best friend...HERMIONE! Best friend who I want to snog senseless right now. Best whatever else I want to do with her, but won't let my mind think. "McGonagall gave it to me first term. This is how I've been getting to my lessons all year."
He tried to formulate a coherent thought so he wouldn't look like he had been starring at her chest, and thinking about doing obscene things with her. It was her fault really...she's the one who pushed me up against a bloody wall!
"You mean we've gone back in time?" He said looked back up at her face. She nodded, finally taking her hands off of her jacket so he could no longer stare.
"Yes. Dumbledore obviously wanted us to return to this moment..." Yeah...wonder if he would have wanted that if knew what I've been thinking. Hermione leaned back against the opening to look back at their earlier selves. He came right up behind her. "Clearly something happens he wants us to change." He closed his eyes, and smelled her hair. I could change it all right now, he thought wickedly. He opened his eyes to see the earlier Hermione punch Malfoy square in the nose.
"Good punch." He said, trying to focus on the task at hand.
"Thanks. Malfoy's coming!" She pushed him back again, and they quietly slipped past the opening so they wouldn't be seen by the earlier Crabbe, Goyelle, and Malfoy.
"I'm going to get that jumped up Mudblood!" Malfoy had said. She definitely was jumped up Harry thought, but if anyone was getting her it was going to be him. She had started inching forward, and Harry could see her backside all too well. When she squatted he could also see the lower skin of her back peeking out from her jacket. Jumped up in deed, he thought. Then she had inched forward again before breaking out into a run to the wall their earlier selves had just been in front of. She peeked behind it, and Harry came up right behind her again. He didn't want to get too close this time because it was all just too torturous. So he tried to focus again.
"Look! Buckbeaks still alive."
"Of course. Remember what Dumbledore said? If we succeed more the one innocent life could be spared. Let's go." She urged him forward with her hand before her hair passed his nose. He inhaled slightly before following after her.
They ran rapidly down the many steps before they ducked behind the pumpkin patch. They were out of breath, and panting and Harry’s hand…well it was close to Hermione’s. Just as he was about to splay his fingers over hers they heard a swarm of crows, which startled them. They also saw that Dumbledore and the executioner were approaching Hagrids hut.
“Here they come, I better hurry.” Harry said getting to his feet. Hermione grabbed his arm dragging him back down closer to her. They were inches away again, and Harry thought he was going to slip up soon and do something uncontrollable. She broke into his thoughts with her explanation.
“Fudge has to see Buckbeak before we steal him, otherwise he’ll think Hagrid set him free.” Harry silently realized she was smarter then her own good. With her hand still in place on his arm they turned to the window to watch their previous selves conversing.
“That’s Pettigrew.” Harry said breathing angrily like he would up and strangle him in a second’s time. Again, and much more forcefully this time, Hermione grabbed his arm again to face her. His breath on her face…oh the temptation.
“Harry you can’t!” She pleaded. Suddenly he was pissed at her.
“Hermione that’s the man that betrayed my parents…you don’t expect me to just sit here?” Harry argued. Her expression clearly showed that she did, and then her answer confirmed it.
Harry tried to break free from her again, and she pulled him down before pulling him after to follow her. Then she sat with her back facing one of the pumpkins, and he sat right next to her. She was panting, and he thought she was really trying his patience of control.
“Harry…you’re in Hagrid’s hut now. If you just go bursting in he’ll think you’ve gone mad.” She said before turning her head and exposing her long slender neck to him. I’ve gone as mad as they can go, he thought and just as he was about to show her how mad he was she spoke again. “Awful things happen to wizards who meddle with time Harry. We can’t be seen.” And by her tone he knew he ought to listen to her. They heard the voices of Dumbledore, the executioner and Fudge approaching.
“Fudge is coming.” Hermione said before turning to look back to the window at their earlier selves. “And we aren’t leaving. Why aren’t we leaving?” Just then she found a marble stone on the pumpkin and must have decided that she wanted to get them caught because she whirled it through the window before it broke the jar in Hagrid’s hut. She made a cute little whimper when she did though so Harry thought at least something good had come of it. She whipped back when she thought she would be seen and tucked half against the pumpkin, and half against Harry and from the air that carried he got a good whiff of her hair again. He inhaled, and thought focus.
“Are you mad?” He asked her. She had to be because she got another stone and whipped it through the window to hit earlier Harry in the back of the head. Another whimper, and he thought it was worth it for the bump she had caused. Harry subconsciously rubbed his head for how painful he remembered his head had stung. Hermione had a good arm.
”Ow, that hurt.” He said playing his pitying plea like it would score him points.
“Sorry.” She said sweetly, but unaffected. Oh, that would soon be changed. She then turned to her side so that she would have better access to view the scene. Her bum was pressed right against Harry’s legs, and he had to clench his hands to stop them from moving to her waist.
“Come on we’re coming out the back door. Go.” So they made a run for it. They both hid behind two different trees. She brushed the tree branch back to look out. Harry had moved to stand behind her because he didn’t know what she was looking at.
“Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?” She asked looking at her own bushy hair as she stepped on a branch. She quickly whipped around so her back was now against the tree. Harry was right in front of her now, and was pressed firmly against her. His hands were on either side of her, and her breath reached the hollow of his neck. He shivered, and let out a breathy sigh right into her ear.
“Hermione,” He pleaded or scolded her for stepping on the branch. She let out a quick sigh, and then moved her leg so that Harry’s leg was between her own. What is she playing at? He thought. He suddenly realized as she had started to crouch down, and he caught on. She slowly moved back behind the pumpkin patch with her ass sticking out, right into Harry. She turned her head right into his, and their lips barely grazed.
“Okay. Go Harry. Go.” She told him. She was quite bossy, and he liked it. Harry started to inch forward, and crows were biting at his feet. He thought the whole situation was almost humorous because all he could think about was that he was going to die before he properly got to kiss her.
“Get off.” Then he came face to face with the hippogryph again…Buckbeak to be more specific. Yeah…I’m going to die now, and I had to wait until a situation like this to realize I had balls to act on my feelings. Typical. Harry bowed to Buckbeak, and silently prayed the beast remembered him. And he bowed back. Harry undid the chain, as he heard the door to Hagrid’s open. He waited until it closed again.
“Okay, Buckbeak come quickly. Come with us now, okay? Come on.” Harry tried to pull on the reigns of the chain to move the enormous animal, but to no veil. He turned his head as if to ask Hermione what to do.
“Keep trying, come on.” She said as she gave him an encouraging swat. That’s all it took really. Harry pulled again with all his strength until the animal craned its neck. “Buckbeak, okay, quickly. Hurry up, okay?” Harry hoped he didn’t look like a weakling in front of Hermione, but he shrugged it off. “Hurry up now Buckbeak, okay?” He pulled again until the animal let out a weird growl, or was it a crow? At least now he was sitting up, and just then Hermione saved him. She had ferrets, which was like doggie treats to hippogryphs. Smart girl Harry concluded.
“Come on. Come on Buckbeak. Come and get the nice dead ferret.” Just then Buckbeak jumped up throwing Harry backwards to the ground as Hermione threw the ferret to Buckbeak. She had more to bait him to move. “Come on, it’s here. Come on Beaky.” Just as he finished devouring the first one he went for Hermione’s hand and grabbed the next one. It almost looked like the animal was going to take it off. She let out a gasp, and Harry thought it was cute. They froze as they saw Dumbledore, Fudge, and the executioner coming out of Hagrids. Hermione used the ferrets again to bait Buckbeak to move.
“Come on Buckbeak. Come on.” They were now in the woods hidden behind trees when the group at Hagrids had realized that he was missing.
“Where is it? I saw the beast just now…not a moment ago! Fudge asked
“How extraordinary” Dumbledore added.
Buckbeak came behind Hermione and tried to grab at the dead ferret around her neck, and she raised her hands in annoyance. Harry laughed to himself. She’s a pistol.
“Well we must search the grounds.” Fudge demanded.
“Well search the skies if you must Minister. Meanwhile I’d like nice cup of tea or a large brandy would be nice. Oh executioner your services are no longer required. Thank you.” Dumbledore said like a giddy kid. The executioner smashed a large pumpkin out of fury. Harry and Hermione had already broken out into a run into the forest with Buckbeak following behind hoping to get a ferret. Hermione threw him one, and laid the last on the ground.
“Now what?” Harry asked.
“We save Sirius.”
“How?” Harry asked baffled.
“No idea.” Hermione said as she was already running forward. Harry followed after her. They stopped when they were facing the Whomping Willow.
“Look its Lupin. And Snape’s coming.” Suddenly, standing there with Hermione by his side for what seemed like an eternity (with no one the wiser) Harry realized he could do it forever. That this wasn’t just lust or raging hormones, but it was so much deeper. It was just the simplicity in knowing she was always with him, and he planned to make sure that she always was. He wanted more. He wanted her. He even entertained the thought of loving her, but he didn’t like that word just because he had never heard it enough growing up to believe it even existed. But he knew it did because what other word could describe what he felt for Hermione? That had to be it, but he wouldn’t let himself admit it just yet.
“And now we wait.” Harry said. She nodded.
“And now we wait.” They sat down against a tree, and waited. Bats flew by them, and it was the closest thing to romantic that the situation would allow. Buckbeak was snacking on the bats and having a good time. Harry was having just as much fun being with the only person in the world he wanted to be alone with. It wasn’t in an atmosphere he would have liked, but it never was really, and that’s why he loved it.
“At least someone’s enjoying himself.” Hermione said watching Buckbeak. Harry felt the slight twinge of hurt at that statement.
“Yeah.” He decided if that’s how she felt then best not pour his heart out at the given time.
“Hermione?”
“Yeah?”
“Before…down by lake when I was with Sirius… I did see someone. That someone made the Dementor’s go away.”
“…With a Patronus.” She added because she knew everything. He turned to her surprised that she knew. “I heard Snape telling Dumbledore. According to him only a really powerful wizard could have conjured it.”
“It was my Dad. It was my Dad who conjured the Patronus.” Harry concluded.
“But Harry… you- your Dad’s—“
“Dead. I know.” He said a little harsher then he meant to. But he did know and he didn’t want her to think he was some barking lunatic. Even so, he felt a little gut wrench when he saw he had hurt her. “I’m just telling you what I saw.” Harry said as he turned around at war with himself to apologize and tell her everything or just leave it be. Before he could decide anything she was up.
“Here we come.” She said. He decided to smooth things over with telling her something else of importance, something he wanted to tell her anyways.
“You see Sirius talking to me there?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“He’s asking me to come and live with him.”
“That’s great.”
“When we free him I’ll never have to go back to the Durley’s. It’ll just be me and him. We can live in the country…someplace you can see the sky. I think he’ll like that after all those years in Azkaban.” He was happy when he saw her happy for him and smiling. The awkward tension was gone. They turned back to watch the scene as Lupin changed into a werewolf.
“Let’s go.” Harry said taking off. They stopped when they saw the earlier Harry being cornered by the werewolf. Hermione then made a howling nose. Harry placed his hands over her mouth to stop her from getting them killed. She whipped them off.
“What are you doing!?”
“Saving your life.” She made another howling noise.
“Thanks.” He said, meaning it. She had saved his life countless other times in countless other ways. “Great. Now he’s coming for us.”
“Yeah. Didn’t think about that. Run!” She said holding his arm before taking off, yet again. They ran, and ran and then Harry fell, but she didn’t leave him for a second and went to help him up. Now they were clutching hands, and then they ran behind a tree. He knew it was a near death situation, and he shouldn’t be thinking things like how cute she looked flushed, but he was. He really couldn’t help it. She was so close. He heard her whimper, and move them around the tree. Her breath was on his chest, his neck, his ear tempting the shit out of him. Then she moved them again, and they turned to see the werewolf right in front of them. Harry grabbed Hermione close to him. Just then Buckbeak was flying through the air towards Lupin. They were battling, and Harry needed to see if Hermione was alright. He moved to put his back to the tree when she buried her face in his chest.
“That was so scary.”
“Shhh-- hey. Hey look at me.” When she did he realized how close their faces were. He took his hands and smoothed them over her face to reassure her. “You’re alright now. I’m not gonna ever let anything bad happen to you, okay?”
“Okay…same here.” They were so close he couldn’t stop himself. So he moved his hand until it was under her chin and it was pointed up at him. Then his face was moving as if by a magnetic force to hers. His nose grazed hers, and he moved it to smooth over her cheek. Then he moved it behind her ear to breath in the scent of her hair.
“Harry.” She said in a throaty hush into his neck. He could feel the heat from her breath and that was it for him. He couldn’t contain himself, not for all the time in the world because this moment may never come again. He put his hand on the back of her neck and with a little more force then he intended smashed his lips to hers. At first she didn’t respond, probably out of the shock of it. But then she pushed her lips back to his. That wasn’t enough for him…not after all the bloody waiting he did. So he daringly slid his tongue out across her lips and when he felt her mouth open in a gasp he opened his as well and slipped it in. It didn’t take her long to do the same, and soon their mouths were at war. Tongues were circling around each other, teeth were biting lips, and still Harry’s thirst was not satisfied. He moved them so that Hermione was now pushed against the tree. He knew she felt the bulge below saying hello, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His hands were on her waist, and hers were in his hair. Suddenly he wanted all of her. He tore his mouth from hers with a gasp, and moved his lips to her chin to suck on it. Then he moved along her jaw line and planted kisses up until he came to her ear lobe, and he sucked, and nibbled until he heard her whimper.
“Harryyy. Ugh, what are we doing? We—we have to stop. Have to—hmmm.” He didn’t quite understand what “hmmm” meant but he was sure it wasn’t a bad thing. So he continued his work on her neck, sucking and biting. He slid his tongue across the hollow of her throat, and put his lips against it in an open mouthed kiss. He swore he heard her hiss. Wait, is she a parselmouth now too?
“Harryyy. Harry what—what are you doing to me?” In a little more of throaty voice then he wanted to sound he looked into her eyes and answered. “What you do to me every time I look at you.” Her jaw fell. She was shocked, but how could she be? Why would he just kiss her just to kiss her for not apparent reason? Before he could hear her answer the wind around them blew and they looked up to see the Dementors starting on their way.
“Sirius.” Harry said determined to save his godfather, despite how much he wanted to stay behind and snog Hermione that it hurt. “Come on.” He said grabbing her hand and running back through the forest. They stopped when they were looking at Sirius surrounded by the Dementors.
“This is horrible.” Hermione said.
“Don’t worry, my Dad will come.” He reassured. “He’ll conjure the Patronus.” They watched as more Dementors came after Sirius, and the Harry across the lake.
“Any minute now. Right there. You’ll see.”
“Harry listen to me. No one’s coming.”
“Don’t worry he will. He will come.” But now Harry wasn’t so sure because he was still watching Sirius and himself, the happiness being sucked out of them by the Dementors.
“You’re dying…both of you.” He heard her say in a distant voice like she didn’t want to believe it herself and Harry couldn’t take it. He wouldn’t let himself die, not when he had just had one of the best, if not THE best moment of his life not more then five minutes before. It wasn’t fair. Why should he be deprived of happiness? No. He wouldn’t let the Dementors suck his life away. He ran a few feet until he thought he was close enough and pulled out his wand, yelling with everything in him that wanted happiness, that wanted to continue that kiss with Hermione, and that wanted to save Sirius.
“EXPTO PATRONUM!” Just then a huge light flared from his wand, and the Dementors began to swarm away from it. The light continued until they were all gone. Harry couldn’t believe it was him that he had seen earlier, that he had that kind of power inside of him.
Out of breath, and exhausted Harry turned back to Hermione who awaited him with a smile. He took her hand and led her onto Buckbeak first, and then came behind her so that he could hold her steady. Harry knew Hermione was afraid of flying, and he took humor in this. Once they were up in the air though, he vocalized what had been on his mind.
“You were right Hermione. It wasn’t my Dad I saw earlier. It was Me. I saw myself conjuring the Patronus before. I knew I could do it this time because…well I’d already done it. Does that make sense?” He asked a frightened Hermione in front of him.
“No! But I don’t like flying! AHHHH!” She let out a deafening high-pitched scream when Buckbeak decided to drop lower to the ground. Harry’s arms moved around to Hermione’s waist so he was hugging her tight to him. His chest was heaving from laughing at her.
“Do you find this humorous?” She scolded in a teasing tone looking over her shoulder and pressing herself more closely against Harry’s front, no doubt to torture him before he plumitated off Buckbeak to his death.
Hmmph. He whimpered into her hair as he tightened his arms around her waist. No doubt she couldn’t feel the friendly bulge again, but if she was going to be lethal then so would he. He pressed his lips close her ear and a little more gruffly then he realized said “No. Nothing humorous about it.” Maybe Hermione didn’t realize it, but she gasped slightly and arched her back so she was even closer then before. Suddenly Harry’s hands had a mind of their own and they slipped until they were down at her sides, across her hips, and then landed on her upper thighs were he gripped down roughly. Again his lips came right near ear where he breathed deeply. She shuddered.
“Hermione… don’t push me.” He said insistently. And then she threw her head back a little so that her neck was exposed.
“Push you?” She laughed a breathy laugh. Harry didn’t think she realized it, but to him her voice had never seemed huskier or more appealing then it did. “You—she said this while pushing her back closer to Harry to emphasize that he was in fact the “you” she was referring to—you’re the one who started this.” Then she wiggled her ass right into him, and even if it was unintentional Harry knew if he didn’t have her by the end of the night he would surely die from either blood loss to his brain, or blood being lodged internally to his southern regions. He dropped his head to her shoulder to compose himself. Then he smelt her alluring scent and decided it was beyond his control. He placed an open mouthed kiss on her shoulder, and moved up her neck an sucked on her till she threw her arms up around his head to push him more closely to her. I guess she got over her fears of flying? He decided to take advantage of her current position and moved his hands slowly back up until he was gripping her breasts fiercely. He heard her make a low throaty noise between a moan and a whimper, and almost lost it right there. He put his lips to her ear again before speaking.
“And I finish every thing I start.” He said before sliding his tongue across the shell of her ear, which caused her to grab chunks of his hair and tug his head closer until he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to breath from suffocation.
“Good.” Just then Harry raised his head to see that Buckbeak was rapidly heading closer to the ground and with their current positions it was a wonder they hadn’t fallen off yet. Hermione also threw her head back up to see what was going on. She gasped, no doubt, frightened again by the fast approaching ground. She threw her back closer to Harry telling him to protect her, but her ass went right into his hardness that he was trying so hard to forget about. And in the one shove of her back, he lost all sanity. He wrapped one arm around her waist, his face coming over her shoulder so he could hear her rapid breathing. He pushed into her once, holding his breath and she stiffened, which pushed his erection further against her ass. He lost his reserve and let himself spill out against her. They were both breathing heavily when it was over, and suddenly he felt like a big ass git. He dropped his head against her shoulder, and sighed into her back.
“I’m sorry. God…I’m so bloody sorry Hermione. I just… I couldn’t control it any longer.” She placed her hand over his that lay on her waist, and patted it.
“It’s okay Harry. I guess now you’ve finished what you started." She said, chuckling a nervous laugh. Harry snapped his head up and was suddenly insulted that that’s what she thought he had meant. He had wanted to finish for them both. He leaned in close to her ear, and brushed his nose against it.
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.” He said softly as he intertwined his fingers with hers that were still resting on top of her waist. He could hear her heart ramming against her chest, and how she was trying to control her erratic breathing.
“Oh.” Was all she said as if realizing the inevitability that they both were going to finish this whole thing later. Harry felt the slight twinge of hurt and guilt that he was pressuring her to do too much too soon. He slowly tried to remove his fingers from hers and as he was removing his arm she stopped him by placing her arm forcefully on top of his. She tilted her head as if to question why he was suddenly withdrawing from her. Then she read his mind, just like she always did. “No Harry. I didn’t say I didn’t want to so don’t assume things.” And just then they had reached the ground with a thud, and even though there were other important matters to deal with at the moment the night was still young, and full of possibilities…
A/N: Okay…so it’s been a while since I have written this story because I started it months ago, and then school and life got to be too intriguing. Well now that I have time I am starting to write again so forgive me if it takes me a while to get back into the swing of things. I am going to try to make the updates as quick as I can, but they will be slower then usual just because I don’t have every chapter written now. So please be patient, and keep reading and reviewing.
Things Looking Up
Everything had gone smoothly with setting Sirius free. Harry was happy to see him go so he could escape the Dementors, but still wished he could have proven his innocence. Harry and Hermione got back to the castle in time before the last chime, and Ron was a little puzzled as to how they had moved places in the room without him seeing. Hermione joked that they couldn’t honestly be in two places at once, but they laughed together knowing that would forever be their little secret.
After visiting with Ron for about an hour Harry and Hermione found themselves wandering the halls back to the Gryffindor common room in something that usually never befell them—silence. Harry had started to say something a hundred times to explain himself for kissing her, but he always stopped himself because he thought it would sound so trite. Oh, and by the way I snogged you because I think you’re hot, and every time I’m around you I can’t control myself…want to carry on where we left off? They were so close to the common room now that he couldn’t bare it if they parted without fulfilling the need inside him to kiss her and touch her again…only this time without werewolves or hippogriffs present. Suddenly he said the first thing that came to his mind just as she did the same…
“So I was thinking I might go for a swim tonight in the Prefects bathroom…would you care to join me?”
“Harry—would you want to…Harry stopped walking to face her, and smiled apologetically.
“I’m sorry…what were you going to ask me?”
“Oh nothing…I was just thinking that since we really didn’t eat I wondered if you would like to grab something from the kitchens with me is all.”
Harry grinned mischievously. “I cannot believe my ears…That you, Miss Granger, are suggesting we sneak around the halls at night to steal food. Isn’t that against the rules?”
Hermione started to back pedal her words. “Well…yes, but it’s not that…it’s just that we—She stopped herself mid sentence when she saw Harry’s grinning school boy face, and how he had crossed his arms. He even poked his ear out a little to act as if he was hearing something intensely interesting. “My you are taking mickey, aren’t you? And how did you plan on going into the Prefect’s bathroom to swim seeing as you aren’t a Prefect, and therefore you would also be breaking the rules?” She asked this while dealing him her amused glare and crossed her arms as well. Harry had to laugh.
“Wow…if Ron were here to witness what we have done to you... Well, let’s just say he’d never let you live it down. We had such a bad influence on you. I admired your no fuss, play by the rules, and obedient ways of the past…but that’s all out the window now.”
Hermione decided it was time to play his game... so she walked slowly towards him, which had him walking slightly backwards into the wall. With her most lethal glare she put her hand behind Harry’s head on the wall and looking him square in the eyes before leaning in to put her lips right against his ear.
“Oh, see that’s where your wrong Harry…you’ll find that I can be very obedient when prompted by the right person,” She said this and her breath was hot against his neck making him shiver. She emphasized her point by sliding her leg up the back of his thigh and brushing her nose along the shell of his ear. Harry proceeded by grabbing her forcefully by the arms and with one hand on her lower back pushing her right into his fast approaching arousal making her gasp in surprise. Now that the ball was back in Harry’s court it was his turn to talk huskily in her ear.
“I guess I’ll have to keep that in mind then, wont I?” He then decided to take full advantage of her aggression by starting to place open mouthed kisses on her neck. His tongue laved the pulse points of her veins, making her whimper lowly in her throat.
“Guess so…hmmm.” He loved it when she made that noise. He loved that he could make her feel that beside herself because the Hermione he knew was very level headed, and he knew she wouldn’t be making any kind of noises unless it was beyond her control. Well, I’m in control now he thought guiltily. He continued to suck on her neck and then unknowingly bit down a little harder then he meant to when he moved his hands down to squeeze her ass. Her hissing brought him back from his intoxicated state.
“I’m sorry…did I hurt you?” His hands went instinctively around her neck checking for any swelling and placing soft little kisses all over her neck. She giggled.
“Yeah, a little,” she said with the coyest look he’d ever seen. Like that friggen cat before he ate the canary this one he thought haughtily.
“Okay…” Harry slid his hands down each side of her neck and brought it closer to his lips where he kissed it once, but only opening his mouth slightly. “Better?”
Hermione pouted, looking like a little kid trying to get him to fix her boo-boo. She shook her head. “No.”
“Okay...” He slide his hands up and down her neck sensually, which he saw caused her eyes to flutter closed. Then he ran his lower lip up her neck where he then started to place long open mouthed kisses. He also noticed her breathing becoming erratic under his touch. “Better now?” She opened her half lidded eyes, and shook her head again, suppressing a little grin. He then began to massage her neck a little, sliding his hands down sensually. He felt her muscles relax more, giving him total freedom to do what he pleased. He drug her head as close to him as possible with one hand, and the other he placed on her lower back pulling her flush against him. He could hear her hitched breaths becoming shorter and shorter. She was watching him with supreme curiosity on just what he planned on doing next. He then started his work on her eyes where he placed soft feathery kisses, which led him to her cute little nose that he nipped playfully.
He bypassed her lips, which was where he wanted to kiss most, and moved around to her ear where he slid his tongue across the shell of it and then flicked his tongue on her ear lobe. Then he slid the tip of his tongue all the way around her neck until he came to the spot he had bitten where he then latched on like a leach. He sucked on her neck so long and luxuriously, like it was an ice cream, and he had to get every dollop of flavor before it melted. Her head was falling back as she was gasping and whimpering, so he moved his hand up her neck, behind her ears to keep it steady. He even began to push her against him with his hand on her lower back. When he was sure he had tutored her, and himself enough he pulled his lips off of her neck and tried to look at her, but her eyes were still closed.
“I think it’s all better now.” He said while dragging a thumb across her cheek. Her eyes opened again, still lidded, but she looked a little peeved at him for ending the necking of her neck.
“Oh do you know? Well if you want me to go get someone else to do the job properly then I can always just—she started to pull away from him and looked around like she was going to leave. He smiled at her as if he were an animal looking at his prey showing her he had other ideas by grabbing her ass in both hands and pulling her closer still against him, and his arousal, which was quite evident. Then with one hand against her neck he crashed his lips to hers. For so long this had been all he could think about, and now here he was…snogging Hermione senseless, but it still wasn’t enough. His senses were on overload. He seized her up suddenly underneath her ass, and she hitched her legs around his waist. He then turned them around, and she moaned when he pressed into her as her back hit the wall. He hitched her hands over her head with one hand, as his other was under her ass holding her up. He then decided he needed the function of both of his hands so he let hers go, which landed in his unruly black hair. With his now free hand he slid it under her shirt to feel the smooth skin of her stomach. The softness of it made him moan into her mouth. Before it could creep any further she put a hand to his chest to push him back a bit, and broke their kiss gasping.
“Harry…” She said trying to catch her breath. He would have none of it because he was already kissing and sucking at her neck again. Before she could get drug back into a state where she couldn’t make a coherent thought other then hmmm she laughed and pushed him back again. He looked at her with a drunken stare, and she smiled thinking it was the most adorable thing in the world so she gave him a soft chaste kiss on the mouth. Before he could deepen it she pulled away again.
“Harry…as much as I am enjoying this we can’t stay out here in the open. Anybody could walk out and see us, and I know some guys fantasize about that, but I’m happy never having experienced anything like that.” Harry laughed, loving how she said everything so matter-of-factly. He could never tire of her.
“Okay…well where would like to go then Miss Granger?” He asked still holding her around his waist. She put her finger on her chin and tapped it like she was debating something. He laughed again, and she dealt him a glare.
“And just WHAT is so funny? I’d like to find the humor here too!”
“Nothing…nothing. You’re just so cute when you think. I love watching the way your beautiful mind works.” He said with a sheepish smile. She ran one hand through his hair, and put the other on her chest, obviously touched.
“That is just…the sweetest thing I think you’ve ever said to me Harry.” She said this in awe. Harry dismissed it with a shake of his head to regain some pride, but found it utterly impossible wit her big doe eyes staring at him.
“Well…it’s true. And I think you’re beautiful as well,” he said while kissing her softly on the mouth before pulling away to look at her seriously. Hermione found it hard to find her voice after that line, and she was glad Harry was holding her up or she might have lost the ability to stand.
“Well…you’re pretty beautiful yourself. Did I ever tell you that?” She said in complete seriousness. Harry shook his head to say no.
“No, but you told me now. That’s good enough for me,” he said smiling. She smiled back. “I reckon we ought to decide what we’re going to do now,” Harry said lifting Hermione slightly to boost her a little. She suddenly felt sympathy for him.
“I’m sorry…you can put me down now. I must be heavy to hold all this time, and your arms must be tired.” Even though they were, he’d never let her know that. He simply smiled, and shook his head no.
“You are as light as a feather, and I may just have to carry you around in my pocket now for
good luck,” he said smiling proudly at his answer. She could see right through his charade so she
decided to surprise him with her next move, which actually surprised her in the way she didn’t even
think to question it or feel nervous or shy because after all…this was Harry.
“Oh that’s sweet Harry, but if you carried me around in your pocket I wouldn’t be able to do this…” She daringly slid her hand to his crotch and cupped him, and he lost his will to hold them both up and dropped Hermione to her feet. She laughed, taking her hand away knowing she had won. He realized it had been a game of hers he’d lost, but suddenly he didn’t care. Suddenly he wanted more of that cupping, and more touching on both ends. So while she was celebrating her victory Harry backed her up to the wall and decided to do the same thing Hermione had done to him…so he slid his hand to her crotch and cupped her. He revealed in the way the smile faded from her mouth into an O shape, and her head fell back against the wall. Only thing was that Harry didn’t take his hand away that fast, he stroked her a few times over her jeans making her moan. Suddenly he removed his hand and pressed his erection right against her to make her feel hot and heavy he’d been all night for her. She moaned louder, and had to bite down on his shoulder to silence herself.
“Hermione…” Harry breathed roughly into her ear. “As much fun as this playfulness has been I think it’s time we decide what were doing tonight or I’m just going to take go a cold shower before you kill me.” She laughed looking at him.
“Well we could go down to the kitchens, grab some food, and then go for a swim if you still want to.”
“Well that depends…will this swimming require you to wear a bathing suit?” Harry asked incredulously as he kissed the side of her neck.
“Well…no because when would I ever need a bathing suit here at Hogwarts? No, I’m afraid I left all my bathing suits at home.”
“So what does that mean Miss Granger?” Harry asked, as his head almost exploded with the possibilities.
“Just that I’ll probably go in my undergarments. I never understood what the big deal was anyway. They look the same as bathing suits to me,” she said this like it was the most natural conclusion known to man. Only thing was undergarments didn’t quite absorb water the way bathing suits did…they pretty much just got soaked through, but Harry was in no way going to disagree with her brilliantly thought out assessment.
“Well sure… I completely agree. So off we go then…Prefects bathroom!” He had already seized her hand and started dragging her in the direction of the bathroom. Hermione stopped him.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Hermione asked. Harry almost died when he thought she meant protection.
“What? There’s me and you…I think that covers it.” Harry said anxiously.
“One- The Invisibility Cloak, so we aren’t seen, and two- I need to eat something first.”
Harry sighed “Right then, I’ll go get the cloak, and then well go to the kitchens. Wait here; I’ll only be a minute.” Harry said as he turned to go to his dormitory silently cursing whoever invented the fact that humans, even wizards and witches, needed food to survive. He couldn’t complain though because it seemed he was getting everything that he wanted far faster then he ever imagined. Things were looking up as far as Harry was concerned…up in all sorts of ways he thought wickedly.
A/N: Hey guys…sorry for taking so long, but I took a bit of a break because sometimes I need to do that to keep my interest in writing a story or because I am having a mental block for ideas…or just because I get busy doing other things. I recently just finished GoF, so yah for me! Oh and for the people that commented about the electronics, it was in GoF, and it was the part I had not gotten to yet. I just started OotP and I love it already. And I don’t care what anyone says, there is SO much H/Hr canon that it so absurd to be how people could tell us to reread. Like the whole scene right in the beginning when Harry was furious at Hermione and Ron just because they were together without him…OMG! He was SOO jealous! Yeah…don’t get me started on all the canon I have found cause I could write a book lol. Anyway…I have never written any sexual mature scenes before, so please be kind. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I’m so happy you all like it so far. I know I have been giving a lot of flashbacks scenes, but it’s essential to know what happened, and why they are in their current state of...well the bitterness that has taken over. I hope that’s okay and I think this is the last chapter I’ll write in flashback form until I go back to the present day anyways, but there may be more to come later on. Okay…here goes chapter nine… Enjoy!
Just…Just What?
Harry had come back to meet Hermione with his cloak in about a minute, like he said he would. They were both under it and Harry walked behind Hermione holding the cloak around them both. The only noise they heard was their breathing or Hermione’s little giggles when Harry’s breathe would tickle her skin. They had finally reached the portrait outside the kitchens, and after tickling the pear in the picture the door swung open for them. They had only been in the kitchens once before, but it had been on an errand for Dumbledore, and with about a hundred house-elves present. Now it seemed so much bigger in its desolate state. Harry pulled the cloak off of them seeing as the coast was clear from any sign of being caught.
“Wow…I never realized how big this kitchen was. Ron would pass out,” Harry quipped as he looked around in awe. Hermione smiled at Harry’s fondness for their best friend.
“Yeah…if he didn’t eat everything stocked in sight first,” Hermione joked back. They laughed. Harry went to the huge restaurant like refrigerator to see what their choices were for food. He couldn’t believe how enormous it was inside…bewitched probably to hold more food. Hermione propped herself onto the counter to wait.
“Hmm…” Harry said as he surveyed the contents. “What are you in the mood for? Because if you name it then it’s probably in here.” Harry said turning back to Hermione. She tapped her chin again, knowing that he loved it now, and milked it for all its worth.
“Ummm…hmmm…what can I go for?” She asked herself as she lolled her head from side to side. Harry simply stood with his hand on his hip, and tapped his foot.
“Well…sure…let’s take all night,” he said sarcastically. She turned to him with those sweet innocent eyes, and looked perplexed.
“Why? Is there somewhere we have to be or something we have to do that I am not aware of?” She asked. Harry stopped tapping his foot, and dealt her an I’m on to you look.
“No…nothing in particular that I know about. Just that you were so hungry earlier that I thought you would pass out if you weren’t fed right away. Or maybe you might have done something drastic like…I don’t know, eat me?” He said mockingly. Hermione didn’t seem to have caught the joke as she bore a look of stern concentration.
“Well…there’s an idea. I might need some ingredients though…just to get you to suit my taste buds.” She said hopping off the counter, and walking sensually to the refrigerator. She pushed Harry aside, and bent over dramatically so she could look inside. He just stood there with his arms crossed determined not to fall back into her trap even though he was feeling himself slip slowly back into a trance. He watched her pull some food out of the refrigerator into her arms, and then nod to herself.
“That should about do it I think,” she said swinging the refrigerator door closed with her foot. Hermione proceeded to put the ingredients on the counter. Harry saw a bowl of strawberries, a jar of hot fudge, a container of ice cream, a jar of cherries, and whipped cream. Hermione then pulled out two bowls from the cabinets, and three spoons, the bigger one used to scoop the ice cream. She patted the countertop informing Harry she wanted him to sit. She then proceeded to scoop out the ice cream; chocolate and strawberry flavored, into the bowls. She then took out her wand and performed a heating spell on the jar of hot fudge, which she then poured liberal amounts of onto the ice cream. Next she took the whipped cream out, and first put some on her finger to taste, and then did it again, offering her finger to Harry. He was already lulled back into the trance she seemed to put him in. He grabbed her wrist, and brought her finger to his mouth, sucking off the cream. When he had gotten it all off he traced his tongue down her finger.
“Mmm…that was delicious,” he said with a satisfied grin. Hermione didn’t seem phased. She just continued making their sundaes by finishing them off with a cherry each. She then pulled one out of the jar, and sensually brought it to her lips sucking on it before pulling it into her mouth and biting it slowly of the stem. Before she could swallow it however Harry drug her to him and kissed her hard, successfully capturing the cherry from her mouth with his tongue, and then swallowing it whole. When she opened her eyes she looked at him like he had seriously offended her. She crossed her arms over her chest.
“That wasn’t very nice Harry,” she pouted. Harry pulled her arms away from her chest and took her hands in his. He gave her an apologetic smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry…It just looked so good that I had to have one.”
“Yeah one, but not mine! There’s a whole jar right there.” She laughed, but still looked like she was trying to keep up her I’m cross with you glare, even though he knew she was just teasing. Two can play at that game he thought. Harry picked up the jar and pulled out a cherry while juice was still dripping off of it.
“I’m quite sorry…will you take this cherry as a sign of my deepest apologies?” He asked sweetly. She nodded going to take it from him, but he wagged his finger at her to show her that was not allowed. “Allow me,” he insisted politely, as if he was escorting her somewhere. She chuckled, and shook her head at his silliness. She knew he was trying to put the ball back in his court and take hold of their little game. She obliged him, promising herself that she wouldn’t let him sway her control while she was in leading place.
With one hand he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, and then tilted her head back by her chin. He softly grazed his thumb across her lips, and she let out a little puff of air from her lips. Oh no she thought. He’s going to think he’s got me right where he wants me now. He slid his hand that was not holding the cherry down her neck, and then brought it back up to trace the shell of her ear with his finger down to her jaw, as if he was memorizing her into his mind. She started to close her eyes when she felt him press the cherry onto her lips and slid it across them like it was Chap Stick. She went to open her mouth, but he had already pulled the cherry away and put it into his mouth, holding it by the stem where he sucked on it. She stared at him like she hadn’t eaten for days, and that cherry (and Harry himself) were the only food in sight. He watched her intently as he sucked on the cherry, knowing he was torturing her. He watched as her lips had parted, and she looked like she was lost in rapt concentration, as if she was reading Hogwarts, A History for the first time. He finally pulled the cherry out of his mouth, and then licked it with the tip of his tongue for good measure. Hermione just continued to stare at him, looking more feral then he had ever seen her look before, and he thought she was seriously going to eat him whole. He thought it was time to shed her some sympathy because if she had done that to him he would have seriously keeled over by now. He brought the cherry back to her lips to offer it to her, and she stared right back at him as she took it into her mouth. She’s going to kill me he thought forewarning himself.
Hermione then took the stem of the cherry into her teeth. She pulled it out from her mouth slowly, still staring Harry down. He had also realized that she was moving closer then she had already been, and now was right between his legs. He decided to lock her in by crossing his legs around her ass…she didn’t falter. She simply grabbed Harry’s face with one hand and pulled it towards her where she then decided to re-suck the stem of the cherry. Then she did something that made Harry lose all sanity, she dragged the wet stem across Harry’s lips while her breath was hot against his face. Well…games over. I played honorably, but she is just…a scarlet woman. Ron was right about her. Harry had snapped…with his legs still locked around her ass he hoisted her up as hard as he could, and grabbed her with his arms as well until she was straddling him on the counter. He pulled her into a kiss so hard he was afraid they would both be bruised the next day. He had never had such a primal need to touch her like he did at that moment…to be as close to her as possible, but that whole cherry charade had awoken something animalistic inside of him that needed her so badly he thought his chest would implode.
With his hands in her soft hair, her tongue sucking on his, and her heat pressing right against him he thought he would die from all the raging beauty of feeling. He moaned into her mouth, no longer able to suppress the beast he had never known existed until she had awoken it. She pressed down on his erection as she moved her legs into an Indian style position. They both moaned, and started clawing at each other like animals trying to tear each other apart. His hands were gripping her breasts, and her nails were digging into the skin of his back. Suddenly all the clothing was unbearable in the heat they had ignited between them. Harry unzipped Hermione’s jacket, and tossed it on the ground. Then he slid both hands under her shirt, and pulled it off in one fell swoop, while she had already started to pull his off as well. With their chests exposed they decided to take advantage of the newly discovered treasure of skin. Harry stared at Hermione in rapt delight. He moved his hands up her back, up and around to her shoulders, down her neck and then onto her breasts, which were still covered by her bra. He squeezed lightly making Hermione whimper and throw her head back as she writhed a bit on his crotch. He then gripped down more roughly, as he growled against her neck because she kept rubbing herself onto him. He then became more daring and slid one hand underneath her bra to grab her bare breast. She moaned, and dropped her head to his shoulder. “Harryyy” she croaked.
The huskiness of her voice made all the remaining blood in Harry’s body lodge itself southward. He then moved his other hand underneath her bra so that he was cupping and kneading her breasts with both hands. “Mmm…Harryyy. Don’t—don’t stop.” He didn’t plan to, but it was time to get rid of the bra. He must have been impatient because as he went to undo the clasp it smacked against Hermione’s back. She didn’t seem too hurt by it though because she laughed.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
“It’s okay…do you want me to do it?” She asked him, knowing he did before he answered. He nodded, grinning and loving that she could read every thought in his mind. So she reached around and undid the clasp, dropping her bra to the floor with their shirts. Just as Hermione had turned around, and before she could even think straight she was on her back on the counter with her legs still wrapped around Harry’s waist. He decided to take advantage of this new position. His hands were already back on her breasts, touching them with increased gusto. Hermione did a little adventuring of her own as her own hands slid down Harry’s sides until they were on his chest. She then pulled him up before he could resist into a hot kiss, which was cut short as Hermione mouth seemed to want to adventure his neck, and collar bone. Harry’s breathing was becoming more and more ragged. She then flipped them over again so that she was straddling Harry with his back on the counter top. Her hands then resumed their work on his chest, moving them up and down while her thumbs softly grazed his nipples. He moaned as they became hard from her exercises almost immediately. She then decided to see what they tasted like so she leaned over to grab the jar of hot fudge and she dug the spoon into it and then took it out so that it was dripping a stream of chocolate right onto Harry’s chest. He shuddered when it made an impact on his skin because it was still quite warm. She dripped a line of chocolate down his chest to his navel, and then she added some to each of his nipples. When she was satisfied with her work she put the jar back onto the counter, unaware that Harry had removed both her and his trainers during her little project.
When she resumed her spot on Harry she made sure to be deliberately cruel in bouncing up and down on him until she found a position that suited her comfort. He gripped down on her sides to still her, and she took pity on him from the site of his face, and how it was screwed up in concentration. Poor bloke she thought. She stilled, and put both of her hands on both sides of his head. She then leaned down sensually, and gave him a soft peck on his lips, then his chin, his neck, and then where she really wanted to be…his chest. With the tip of her tongue she licked the line of chocolate down his chest to his navel where she swirled her tongue around in a circle, and dipped it inside for good measure which had Harry grunting and jiving his hips. Hermione thought the pressure felt quite pleasant between her thighs, and she wanted to keep it there for as long as possible. She planted feathery kisses with her lips all over his chest, and when the all the chocolate was gone except for the remaining on his nipples she decided play time was over. She placed an open mouthed kiss on his nipple, and sucked the chocolate off sensually, while rubbing against him at the same time. This relied up not only Harry, but her as well because she was moaning against his chest. When all the chocolate was gone she looked back up at Harry whose eyes had seemed to go black with desire, and didn’t even know what hit her when she was flat on her back again. He pulled her legs apart from behind his back, and rested them flat as his knees were on either side of her.
He took advantage of his current position and crawled his way up her body like a cat. He put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her long and hard while sucking on her tongue to get the taste of chocolate and cherry into his own. They both moaned at the pleasant combination of tastes. He then moved his hands from her cheeks, down to her neck, where he stopped to lick shortly. He then moved back to her breasts, and it was his turn to enjoy tasting them, only he decided the whole chocolate bit was too much of a bother, and he would rather taste only her instead. He took the first one in both hands and squeezed it, where he then pulled it into his mouth where he laved it in plenty. While he was doing that his other hand decided to not leave the other breast unattended, so he rubbed up and down on her nipple, revealing at the feel of its hardness. Hermione was whimpering, and writhing more and more as he continued. Her sounds made his hand grown bolder, and it decided to make its way down her chest to her navel where his index finger dipped inside causing her to gasp and thrust hard against him. He grunted against her skin, and then made his way to her next nipple with his mouth while he hand continued its adventure southward to the waistband of her jeans. He was starving to kiss her lips again so he did, while both of his hands unbuttoned her jeans, and slowly pulled the zipper down. With this new space Harry’s hands moved around to the back, inside her jeans to grasp her ass and squeeze it roughly causing her to moan into his mouth. Time for these to go he thought.
Harry then moved the jeans down her ass, and she lifted her hips slightly to help him. He slid them down her legs, and then they were gone and she was clad in only her knickers and socks, which he then decided needed to go as well. He lifted her foot to him, and looked down at her with a little evil grin and he slipped her sock off her foot, and then swung it around a little throwing it, which made her laugh out loud. He did the next one faster, and then they were gone and all that was left of her clothes was her knickers…that little piece of article taunting him with the treasure that lay beneath. He drank her in with his eyes, as he was still sitting up with his knees on her sides. She leaned up, and smoothed her hand over his cheek, and looked at him with loving eyes. She then kissed his mouth slowly, and he revealed in the tenderness of the moment. When she broke it he thought his heart would break from how beautiful he found her to be. Her curly tresses a little wilder then usual due to their current activities, her lips reddened from the whole cherry ordeal, her cute perked up nose he found adorable, and her eyes…they were the same reassuring ones he had grown to love...cinnamon and honey colored, and full of warmth and compassion. He let out sigh of air, and pushed a stray lock behind her ear.
“You’re beautiful…did you know that?” He said as serious, and genuine as thought he’d ever sounded. Hermione smiled, and her heart swelled at the look on his face.
“No...I really don’t think so Harry, and it’s really lovely of you to say that again, but it’s not necessary. I appreciate the gesture all the same though,” she said as if it was inevitable that he could not find her beautiful. He looked at her with a disbelieving, angered expression.
“Gesture? What!? Hermione…I’m not just saying that because I feel I have to or because I feel it would be a nice gesture. I’m saying it because I honestly believe you’re beautiful. In fact I’ve always known it, since the day we met, but being just friends I never thought it would be appropriate to just say it, but I’m saying it now because…well, your beautiful.” He finished bashfully, but all the same sure of himself. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him repeatedly all over his face, which had him laughing. She then finished with kissing him fully on the lips, and dragging him back down on top of her to regain some of the heat they had started before. When it really started to burn they broke the kiss gasping for air. Hermione pushed Harry off of her a little, and put a shaky hand on Harry’s belt, which she started to undo. Even through his daze of lust he smiled at her lovingly because he found it nearly impossible that Hermione would be afraid to do anything…even this. He put his hands over hers to stop her, and he looked down at her to tell her that he would do it himself if she wanted, but she looked at him more sure of herself and he knew she was determined to do what she started. He smiled, and let her continue on. Once she had his belt undone she worked on the button of his jeans, and then the zipper. He then lifted himself to his knees and she pulled them down…he then pulled them the rest of the way off, along with his socks. When he finished he then returned to his kneeling position over her sides, while she sat up. They stared at each other in rapt awe…chests and skin exposed, and in only their knickers. They drank each other in before the desire to touch became too great. Harry grabbed the back of Hermione’s head and pulled her into a hard kiss. Their hands seemed to get the general idea, and started to grab at all the skin it could reach. When Harry’s hand reached Hermione’s thigh he moved it up and down making Hermione impatiently wiggle. He then moved her thigh a little so her legs were spread. He then decided to torture her by moving his hands to her breasts, and the sides of her hips, up and down her thighs, tracing the outline of her hip bone with his finger down closer and closer to where she wanted it to be…but not quite.
“Harry!” She panted, begging him to just do it already. He looked up at her innocently as if he was completely unaware of what she wanted.
“What?” Well…if he thought she was going to keep the pleading game up he was terribly wrong. So she instead sat up, and grasped him through his boxers making him moan and fall over on top of her. He was the one panting now because she just held him, and did not move her hand an inch.
“Hermione!” He begged. She looked unaffected by his pleading.
“What? You don’t like it do you? Well that should teach you a lesson not to get me all worked up only to leave me unsatisfied.” She stated in her bossy, you-should-know-better sort of way when she finally let go of him. He glared at her.
“Hermione…that’s a little bit different. I didn’t start something and not follow through with it. I was just getting you prepared and wanting for my next move.”
“Well Harry…a woman has needs and you certainly weren’t meeting mine,” she said crossing her arms in mock resignation. Harry knew she was joking, but to say that to a guy with his solider saluting was a little disconcerting. He then decided to teach her a lesson by grasped her ass, pulling her forward, and landed right on top of her, making sure she felt that he was all ready to “follow through.” He watched her with rapt attention as her eyes dilated, and seemed to roll to the back, and her head fell back against the counter with and “umph” as she moaned. Okay so maybe enough was enough…time to show her his next move. He took his hand and put it between them, where he was settled, and cupped her against her already wet knickers, which made her moan louder, and that did it for him. He then moved off of her so that he could grasp the waist band of her knickers, and pull them off her long slender legs, which he admired with a kiss on the side of her thigh. He threw them, and he then crouched over her again like she was his prey. He then put his thumb to her bottom lip where he rubbed it a little, and opened her mouth for her suck on it for a few beats before it was too much for him to take.
He then looked down at her body, and was in complete disbelief to see Hermione lying naked beneath him. Even though he had imagined it happening so many times before it was so surreal to him to have it actually happening that he was sure he was going to wake up any minute in a sweat like he did so many nights before. But he didn’t…it was really happening. All his wishes were being granted, and the only thing he could do was just go along for the ride. But what if this isn’t what she really wanted? I mean it wasn’t like they did any talking on the matter, so how did he really know how she felt? Hell…he wasn’t even sure how he felt himself. She suddenly opened her eyes, and sat up a little to probably see what the hold up was.
“Harry…is everything alright?” She asked nervously, as he watched her try to cover herself up a little. He tossed her hands aside forcefully as if to tell her that his pause wasn’t about her, but he saw in her eyes that she felt ashamed and hurt that maybe he didn’t want her now that he had seen her up close. She was already so insecure. He felt like an ass, but he wasn’t good with the talking about emotions crap so he didn’t know what to say.
“Everything’s fine. Let’s just… continue. Okay?” He went to lean over to kiss her, but she arched her back to pull away from him, and she turned her face. He tried to turn her face toward him, but she defiantly kept it away from his, and she had already slid up the counter into a sitting position with her knees in front of her chest to cover her. Yeah…that was definitely the wrong thing to say you ass! He thought to himself scathingly. Harry moved to his knees again and shimmied closer to Hermione trying to see her face to get her to look at him.
“Hermione…” He said trying to move her face to look at him. “Hermione…I’m sorry. Will you please just…look at me?” Stubbornly she obliged him and he saw her angered expression, and the tears that she was trying to keep from falling.
“Just look at you? Like we should have just continued, right? Well I don’t just do things Harry! Not just because!” She yelled at him, and he really felt the lowest he’d ever felt. Hermione was already one of the most insecure people he’d ever met, and he should have kept all actions and dialogue in constant consideration knowing how emotional she was likely to become…even long pauses of searching for the right words.
“Hermione I’m sorry, okay? I am really, really sorry.” He said pleading, as he tried to move closer to her, but she just wouldn’t be swayed that easily…not this girl, not this night.
“Yeah, so am I Harry.” She said looked at him fully with such hurt and blatant disappointment at Harry that he would have done anything for that Time Turner to go back and change what he’d said.
“What does that mean Hermione?” He said desperately, needing to know that she didn’t regret any of what happened.
“It means that I’m just…ready to up to my room. I’m tired, and it’s been a very long day so…” She looked down at her clothes. Harry nodded, knowing the moment was gone and would probably never return again. He hated himself, but he knew he had to try to win back points in any way he could. He hopped off the counter, and gathered her clothes that were splayed all across the room, and handed them back to her with a sad smile. She snatched them, and dealt him a glare. He turned his back, and occupied himself with finding his own clothes. When he had fully dressed he waited until he knew it was safe to turn back around. When he heard her hop of the counter he turned to look at her, but she was busy pulling her feet into her trainers and avoiding his eyes. He sighed, and went to put away the ice cream and other contents in the refrigerator. He cleaned the bowls and spoons in the sink, not bothering to do magic at the moment, and then put them back where they belonged. When he turned back he watched Hermione as she put the last of her garments back on as she zippered up her jacket. She refused to look at him. He didn’t know what to do…he had never been in this position before, and he didn’t know what sort of thing to say to make it better. Maybe nothing could he thought hopelessly. No…I can’t let that be the case. Not when we came this far.
Harry walked over to Hermione, and put his hands on her both of her shoulders to get her to look at him. He knew he probably looked like a big emotional git, but he couldn’t help it…his heart was actually hurting at the thought that he’d ruined it all for them by just being himself. He took a deep breath…
“Hermione…please, please look at me.” She turned her head finally and looked at him, and for the first time ever Harry couldn’t read her expression. He couldn’t make out what she was thinking, and that terrified him. “I am so, so sorry. Please know that nothing that happened tonight was just because. I would never, ever use someone, especially you, for that sort of thing. Don’t you know that?” With the unreadable expression on her look he thought she might.
“Yes, I know Harry. I just would really like to go upstairs now if that’s alright with you.” He could do nothing else but nod sadly, and grant her what she wanted.
The walk upstairs was about as silent as the one coming from rescuing Sirius, except that this one wasn’t filled with possibility or hope. No, this one was filled with tension and loss. With a feeling of coming so close to an inevitable truth, only to have been taunted, and the moment blown away. Harry hung his head low in misery as they walked, and he tried to snatch a glimpse of Hermione’s expression ever so often, but it was the same unreadable one as before. She just looked determined, and sure of something, and he didn’t know what. Probably that you are an absolute moron! When they reached the portrait Harry spoke the password in such a low voice that the Fat Lady had to ask him to speak up twice.
“FORTUNA MAJOR!” He yelled, losing his last bit of patience. He watched as the Fat Lady gasped, taken back at his loudness. He didn’t even look over at Hermione to gauge her expression. He just wanted to hole up in his room and brood.
“Very well, Mr. Cranky Pants!” She joked because apparently Harry’s life was just so bloody funny!
“THANK YOU!” Harry said as he stormed into the empty common room. When he got there he stopped, and turned to walk Hermione to her dormitory at of sheer habit.
“That’s okay Harry. You don’t have to walk me,” Hermione said striding into the direction of her room.
“But I want to,” Harry said matter-of-factly. She stopped, and turned around to face him.
“Well I’d rather you didn’t…if that’s alright with you.” Harry didn’t know if he heard the undertone of anger, but Hermione kept her voice very level and calm, and he was a little suspicious.
“So what Hermione…are you just never going to talk to me again?”
“I never said that Harry. I just would rather be by myself right now if that’s alright with you.” She said crossing her arms, as if to protect herself from him.
“Fine then. Go be by yourself, but just know that I tried to apologize, and I don’t want this to be a ‘well Harry hurt me so I’m going to sulk around now’ thing because I said I was sorry Hermione!” Harry finally said, fed up at the whole scenario.
“I’ll keep that in mind Harry. And for the record I don’t ‘sulk around.’ That would be your area, wouldn’t it?” She said snidely.
“Oh are we going to throw shots at each other now because it would be nice if you let me know.”
“Well I thought I was just responding to your comment. But now I’m just going to go up to my room now. Goodnight Harry.” She whipped back around and stormed off to her dormitory.
“Yeah, well…you too!” Harry yelled to an empty common room. And with that he went to his own room to think about just what would save them now.
(End of Flashback)
A/N: Hey guys! I know it’s been a while since my last update, and I apologize, but I needed a break. I actually wrote this over the summer, but I didn’t know if I was satisfied enough to update it as a chapter. I figured since updating something is better then nothing, that I would just update what I have, and then if I want to add more to it later I will let you all know. I finished all the books though, and I saw the fifth movie, which I personally loved, so that’s good for me…I haven’t been THAT big of a HP bum lol. My heart broke from the DH’s epilogue though…I have to say that I thought that piece of the book was garbage. The rest of it was good though, IMHO. And I was one of the convinced Harmonians that thought we had a chance for our ship to sail in the last book…I was sadly mistaken. =[ It’s okay because that’s what good fanfics are here for lol. Hopefully my own will fall in the “good” category. What you need to know about this chapter is that it takes place in the present time of the story, which is right after the fight in Snape’s class and McGonagall’s office visit. Also the song in this chapter is called “Trouble” by Coldplay. Bear with me…It’s been a while. Oh and don’t forget to R&R!
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Friends? I’ll Give You Friends
Breakfast in the Great Hall was something that Harry tried desperately to avoid lately. Strike that. Every meal was a meal Harry tried to avoid going to the Great Hall for mainly because he didn’t want to have to sit and be tortured by Hermione’s ever close presence. It only served to remind him that they didn’t share that close bond anymore, and therefore couldn’t just strike up a conversation like it was second nature. It was real agony to be right near her and not able to ask how she was or what her day had been like because frankly she was the only person Harry wanted to talk to about such trivial things. After McGonagall’s office visit Harry told himself to stop wallowing and start living. That by holing himself up in his room to eat, or brood wasn’t going to bring her back so he might as well get on with his once day-to-day normal routine. Walking into the Great Hall the morning after “the fight” as it was known to all of Hogwarts he tried his best to still his pounding chest by taking long cleansing breaths…time to start living he thought.
And then he saw her, and pretty much all his ideas of “living” were minimized to a small pile of goo on the ground, which is where his whole body seemed to have seeped. You can do this. You HAVE to do this he kept telling himself. Do this, and maybe you can start to be the guy she once knew. Do this and maybe you can start to be the guy YOU once knew.
He sat on the opposite side of the table from her because he had to take baby steps. After all he didn’t want to totally invade her personal space, especially when “the fight” had only happened yesterday. He put some food on his plate, and placated himself with moving it around because he couldn’t find the will to eat its contents. With his arm on his head he tried to nonchalantly look down the table to see her. She looked miserable, if that was to be any comfort to him, almost as miserable as he did except she forced a fake smile when people greeted her “Good Morning.” She even tried to involve herself in meaningless conversation, but he could see her heart wasn’t really in it. Just like your heart hasn’t been in anything lately either, huh chap?
Then he saw Ron enter the Great Hall, and he watched his internal struggle with which of his friends he should sit with. On the one hand, Ron had really tried to be there for Harry, but on the other he had also been there for Hermione. He seemed to have put their petty differences aside to really be there for her when she needed him the most. Harry was a little resentful about it at first, but then told himself that it was better Ron then anyone else, and at least he trusted Ron completely. In the end Ron decided that Harry getting off his arse to enter any room with her as well was believable enough to be called a “miracle,” as he put it, so he of course had to sit with the so called miracle himself. For that Harry was extremely grateful because he didn’t know if he had it in him to watch Ron and Hermione sit together without him just yet, while he watched from the sidelines.
“Morning Mate,” Ron greeted as he readied himself to a nice heaping of food…it was, after all, when Harry saw him the most elated, when he was eating. Harry stifled a smirk at this knowledge.
“Morning.” Harry said watching his best mate shovel mounds of food into his mouth.
“So, how you holding up?” Ron asked nonchalantly between bites. Harry actually felt grateful that he asked him because usually his “feelings” were known as off-topic discussion. Even though Ron played off his questions, Harry always knew that he was more concerned for his well being then he let on.
“Ah, okay. Well as can be expected I guess. I was actually thinking about doing a few laps around the Quidditch pitch later. I haven’t really flown since we got back, and I really can’t wait to get up there. You want to come?”
“Sure thing…Good for you mate. Glad you’re getting back to your old self.” Ron said proudly. Harry reddened a little, and felt a bit uncomfortable at that.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it that, but I am trying.” Harry couldn’t help but look down the table, and was surprised when he saw Hermione looking at him. She did, however, look away rather quickly, but it was still something. I’ll take anything I can get he thought mournfully. He then watched her sigh, and look rather glum, and he thought maybe he was making her feel uncomfortable by just being around. He knew he shouldn’t really be blaming himself for such things, but he felt rather like anything that made her look upset had to do with him. Yeah well maybe not everything is about you Potter…ever think of that? He opted for his sanity and told Ron he was going to take a walk for a bit, and that he would meet him on the pitch later. As he walked out he cast Hermione one of his best pleading, please forgive me, looks. He watched her eyes follow him all the way out. Progress, after all, took time.
As he walked around the grounds he decided to sit by the lake and think…something that very well could cause him to go barmy, but also something he couldn’t really avoid. It helped to just remember, the good, as well as the bad.
O no, I see, I spun a web, it's tangled up with me.
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I said.
O no what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
I turned to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done…
(Flashback)
The time had finally come to get on that beloved Hogwarts Express, but for Harry it was like a bittersweet truth he didn’t know if he wanted to come yet…but it did, and it seemed much before he was ready for it. He smiled at the Weasley clan as they all greeted him with good spirits, especially Mrs. Weasley who hugged him like Mama Bear. They all said they had all missed him at the Burrow, and asked what he had been up to. After all the trivial discussion was out of the way Harry found himself searching for a compartment that had room for him and Ron to sit. It seemed the Fates had a funny sense of humor because the only compartment that wasn’t full was the one that Ginny, Neville, Seamus, and Hermione were already in. Harry sat himself across from Seamus, who was, in Harry’s opinion, a bit too close to Hermione for his liking.
But Merlin she looks good Harry thought longingly. Her white dainty skirt showed off a nice portion of her long, slender legs that could seriously haunt a blokes dreams for years. She had on a cute flowery tank top with flip flops that showed off her nicely polished toes, and Harry thought her new little ankle bracelet was the most adorable thing in the world. France really did suit her. As Harry was giving his greetings to Neville he couldn’t help but eavesdrop on Seamus’ discussion with Hermione.
“Wow Hermione, I really can’t get over how great you look. Me mom is always saying how pretty she thinks you are because she knows your like the brightest witch in our grade, but Merci…you look great!” Seamus said a little bit too enthusiastically for Harry’s taste. He cleared his throat a little loudly, as if to signal that Seamus was pushing it. Since Seamus had absolutely no idea he and Hermione hooked up that night last term, or that Harry had pined over her for a year he obviously didn’t catch the warning. Hermione, however, who had blushed furiously over his compliments, simply thanked him and offered a change in subject. She also gave Harry a once over glare of what he could only guess was annoyance at his little “cough,” but he wasn’t about to apologize anytime soon. Doesn’t she know that any bloke other then me gawking over her, and singing her praises is going to be a problem? Obviously not Potter…especially if her “birthday card” was any indication of how she felt for you. Oh sod off! Harry’s subconscious was really becoming a problem.
That damn birthday card though…Harry would rather have not gotten one at all. Usually Hermione sent him a few dozen letters over the summer, plus a nice lengthy birthday card wishing him the best, and a gift. This year all he got was a “Hope You Have A Happy Birthday Harry.” – Hermione. Harry hadn’t really been expecting anything, but when he got that he searched the letter backwards, and forwards to see if there was more to it then meets the eye…but sadly there it was in black ink, the reality of their situation. Harry was tempted to rip the letter to shreds, but he just didn’t have the heart to be so drastic with anything that came from her.
And now here he sat, across from her as she looked more like an angel then anything he probably would ever see in his life, and all he wanted was for things to go back to normal between them. But not normal, normal…normal like he knew that one blissful night that seemed liked centuries ago, before his big mouth got him in trouble. But those days were long gone, and who knew if and when they would ever be back. Harry sighed, and decided it was time to bring out his iPod, but before he had even gotten a chance to put his earphones in Hermione decided she was going to strike up a casual conversation like they were best buds who had no negativity looming over their heads.
“Harry…is that the iPod Sirius gave you?” She asked as if she didn’t already know the answer, and they had been talking the whole ride. Harry bit back the urge to say something to the extent of What’s it to you, but decided it was immature, even for him.
“Yeah” he said simply, deciding to take the high road, which was to do the least amount of talking possible so it couldn’t get him in trouble.
“Oh.” And Harry had thought she finished, but she began again after a few moments pause. “That was really nice of him to send us gifts, don’t you think?” She asked, and he was surprised she even cared to ask what he thought.
“Yeah, it was. Little thing came in handy all summer, and helped me through a fair bit of emotional stress,” he said before he thought better of it. He silently kicked himself for letting his mouth open to speak before he had planned out his words.
“Why, have you not had a good summer? Was it the Dursley’s? Did they mistreat you?” She asked, looking concerned and it was a bit more then he could take, especially when he had a lot of pent up anger and frustration at her for deciding to forget everything that happened between them, while not really speaking to him at all.
“No, my summer was just grand. I have you to thank for that. Oh, and by the way…thanks for the birthday card. It really lifted my spirits.” Harry said this while trying to maintain his pose of not being affected by the fact that he hadn’t spoken with her in so long. He knew he had done just the opposite by voicing his irritation with her. He suddenly wished there wasn’t a compartment full of other people, even if they were his friends, but as luck would have it they didn’t seem to want to be there either. Ginny, and Neville looked around saying something about “maybe we should go,” but Harry couldn’t really process it. He felt like vocalizing his feelings at her was an outlet, and a good one at that. He stared right at her with a mask of triumph, arrogance, and blatant disappointment. Somewhere mingled in all of those masks was a mask of heart wrenching pain, but he thought he was covering it quite well. Hermione looked back at him, and once again he couldn’t make out what she was thinking, but he could see her face was steeled with determination again.
“Well, I’m sorry you didn’t have a good summer Harry. I’m also sorry you think it’s my fault, but I don’t know how they could have been the case, seeing as I was in France…But this is neither the time nor the place to talk about that. And about your birthday card, I’m sorry I didn’t have the time to write you anything longer, but my parents and I were traveling all throughout France this summer so I rarely got the time to do much correspondence.”
Harry actually snorted on a bitter laugh at that. She had to be kidding him. How was she going to act so calm, cool, and collected? Harry was about ready to crack underneath his skin for everyone to see, and she’s talking about correspondence!?
“Of course you don’t see how that could have been the case! You have purposely seen to have fit our situation into a separate case all together! One that you can put aside, and dig through whenever you feel like it…well guess what!? I don’t even know why you sent me anything for my birthday, let alone a one liner! Why even bother at all? So I could mentally abuse myself ALL SUMMER? WHAT!? Is my summer with the Dursley’s not punishment enough for all my wrong doings that I also have to endure stunts like that from you!? Harry had built this moment up in his head for so long, this confrontation he knew he had to face…this one with her. And now he was standing up and yelling for all of the damn train to see and hear, and frankly he didn’t give a shit.
He suddenly realized that she was standing up as well, and her face was red from either from embarrassment, anger, or a mixture of both…he couldn’t be sure. Until, that is, she gave it to him, BIG time. “What situation Harry!? The one that derived from one night that led to nowhere good!? I thought we both had the summer to think everything over and realize we were better off as friends! So I did the right thing in sending you a one lined card. And it wasn’t a stunt! Anything else I would have written you could have been interpreted the wrong way, and frankly, I don’t have time for anymore misunderstandings. Last term was filled with enough of them, don’t you think?”
Harry vaguely registered that she had gone on to say something about doing the right thing, and misunderstanding, but he couldn’t really hear it because there was a ringing in his ears from that one word. Something inside Harry had died from that word. That one syllable that could seriously render him speechless, and utterly powerless to the pain that it caused him. Friends. He didn’t want to be just friends, but what’s worse is that was what she had wanted for the both of them. He didn’t even realize he had walked out of the compartment, past the many on lookers, until he had reached the loo and locked himself in.
How did this happen to him? His summer had been a complete and utter bust because he was in a constant state of utter despair because of her. But SHE seemed to have been getting her tan on, doing God knew what else, and taking a minute of her time to write him a one-liner for his birthday so he wouldn’t misinterpret things. He was supposedly supposed to have been thinking that they should have remained friends…FRIENDS!? I’ll give her friends!
He suddenly could hear again, as the ringing in his ears dwindled, and he made out that Hermione was banging on the door for him to “come out here right now!” “How could you walk out when I was not even done talking! That’s very rude Harry!” So Harry opened the door abruptly, and did the only sane and rational thing left to him…gave her a taste of her own medicine.
“Oh I’m sorry if you thought that I was rude, but I was done talking. Seems to me that your wanting to be “friends” isn’t going to happen because I don’t! I got enough friends, but thanks for the offer. If I get bored of them I’ll be sure to keep you in mind, but in the mean time…I’ll be going this way.” He said pointing in the opposite direction of the compartment he had sat in before. Before he was out of ear shot he turned around to see a bunch of people crowded and obscuring Hermione’s view from him. That makes it easier to walk away…leave it be. He saw Ron’s presence looming about, and told him to be a friend and take his things off the train for him, than he turned and walked down the hall to find another place to sit, preferably alone.
(End of Flashback)