Lazy Afternoons

En Shu

Rating: NC17
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 24/12/2002
Last Updated: 21/04/2004
Status: paused

A 7h year H/H fic. Unlike most stories, Harry and Hermione are already going steady. Voldemort has already been destroyed, by whom you ask? Why by everyone's favorite wizard, Harry Potter of course! This story tends to be more easy going and funny, but violence does occur--old wounds don't heal easily. Don't worry, this wont be one of the "New Dark Lord rising" type of fics. And Btw, it's rated NC-17 for a reason. No minors allowed.

Chapters

1. Happy Stupefy to You!

2. untitled

3. Ch 3

1. Happy Stupefy to You!

Lazy Afternoons

Dedicated to my 2 doggies, Moose and Hunter, who I like a lot because they are pretty.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter of the rights to Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does, and she does not sit at her computer writing fanfiction. I do, however, and you will be forced to read whatever crap I dish out. I gain absolutely no, nada, zilch money from this work. I probably wont even gain credibility. I do not intend to infringe on any copyright set in place by Mrs. Rowling, herself, Bloomsbury books, Scholastic, or any other title holder/publisher. Please do not sue me. Please do not bite me. Please do not cut off all my limbs and hang me from a tree. It wouldn't be pleasant.

Chapter 1

They lied warmly in the each other's arms, content that the only heat reverberated was that of their embrace and not the blanket that had long since been discarded, much like their clothing. The sheets on the bed were mangled and wrinkled in many places, alluding to what had taken place between the two not only today, but on numerous other occasions in this very room.

The Head Boy room.

The little girl held the decidedly larger boy's weight on top of her and was clad in only the very skin that God had given her. He, on the other hand, wore his boxers (with something under those boxers�), and slowly brought his hand up to the woman's left breast and began to rub it coarsely.

The woman groaned but stayed still. She loved this game they played. He would try his very best to entice her to make the first move, and she would resist with all the willpower she could muster at that time, causing him to finally let lust overpower him.

Today, she didn't feel like waiting.

With the man still rubbing away with his left hand, the right propping himself up, as to take away some weight from her body, the lady masterfully pulled her foot from under him, without detection, and hooked it into the waistband of the last thing separating the two.

"Nu uh," the boy said, sitting up, allowing her to fully appreciate his rippling arms and chest, "that can be your second birthday present from me. I think I'll give you it later tonight."

The girl chuckled, "Oh Harry, I thought you'd forgotten."

"But then you'd have killed me, and we can't have that now, can we?"

It still surprised her of how a man, no, still a mere boy could joke about death so easily, seeing that it used to be an unwelcome, yet constant visitor. But ever since last month, no, she didn't really want to think about that on her birthday, well, her birthday party for that matter (her birthday was last Thursday, but she is celebrating it on a Saturday, being a Hogsmeade weekend).

"Well," she said slyly, "what's to stop you from giving me one of your special presents now, and one later?"

The devilish glint that came into Harry's eye could've been seen a mile away, were they outside in the streets (which would have been quite the predicament). He slowly and methodically inched his face toward hers, until only a few mere inches separated them, his face just above hers, and whispered sexily, "A fuck load of willpower," and with that he stood and began to dress himself.

The woman remained sitting for a second, processing what she had just been told. With a slightly downtrodden expression and a sigh, she too rose to her feet and scavenged the area for some clothes, noting to herself to restock the small stash she kept in his room, which was, in itself, silly, seeing that they resided right next to each other. "You are very cruel, did you know that?" she finally asked him, in an accusatory tone.

"You mean you don't know? You don't know!" he said in a dramic flair. He then adopted an all too familiar accent, jumped onto a chair next to him, pulled his discarded cloak over his face, and practically shouted, "I am the great Severus Snape in disguise! Mere mortals such at you must grovel, grovel damn you. Why aren't you groveling!? And why the hell wont Bumblebee make me the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? And why is my penis only three inches long? And why do I make passionate love to Professor Flirtwick at exactly 7:30 each night? And what's with my hair? Did a fucking gorilla strap me to a table and sploog all over it?" He finally dropped the accent. "That was a lot more difficult than it seemed, honey."

The room was silent.

Harry looked around for his girlfriend, but could see no one. "Hermione!" (A/N and finally we know who the girl is�as if we didn't already) he called out with some urgency. "Herm!" But still he heard nothing, no voice crying out, no frantic movement, and, thankfully, no howls of pain.

Harry hopped down from the chair he stood upon, and began to glance about the room in a hurried and obviously scared fashion. The bright lights in his room seemed to all dim, reminding him of the gloom of Azkaban, where he and ten of the top aurors in all of England assaulted, killing numerous death eaters and dementors alike. That was the first time Harry had killed anything human. Just thinking about that horrible winter night made him begin to hyperventilate. Short of breath, Harry fell to a knee and clenched his eyes, the attacker all but forgotten. He fought his way back up into the standing position, encouraged with the thought of Hermione in trouble on his mind.

"Petrificus Totalus!" A screech cried out from an unknown position in the room. Harry was able to stop the emotions currently taking hold within him, and, just in time, dove out of the spell's path and hid himself behind one of the large chairs that adorned his room. But right now he didn't have any time to admire the beauty that was the Head Boy lair; he was under attack and worse yet, he didn't know where Hermione had gotten off to! Harry, pulling forth what he learned from Alabastor and the three other aurors last summer at Gable Gulch, an isolated, former battlefield where he spent the summer before 7th year, Harry drew his wand, cleared his mind, and stopped himself from thinking about Hermione, seeing that doing so would only cause him to panic.

"Duplico Fererum," his whispered to himself, while pointing his wand toward his stomach. A small stream of yellow light seeped from the tip of his wand and permeated inside of him. About three seconds later, Harry's stomach began to rumble and moan, and an exact copy of Harry began to crawl head first out of his abdomen. Harry winced at the pain this was causing him, but a little pain for protection was certainly better than a painless death, he figured. Life was too good to die now, to die ever.

Harry had often mused about the thought of living forever with his friends and what would soon be his family. Though he knew it was wrong and could bring dire consequences about, he always had an egging feeling deep suppressed, a feeling- a hope, rather- to make another sorcerer's stone. Sure it was selfish, and he knew he wouldn't go through with it, but a guy can dream, can't he?

If a guy could dream, he'd better do it later, considering what could be a rogue death eater or crazed student somehow sneaked into his room- not the living quarters, not the common room, but his room, undetected.

The duplicate or "second" Harry had finally emerged from Harry's stomach, and it seemed to not be an exact copy, rather it had the same shape and form as the Boy Who Lived, but, upon closer inspection, it could be seen through. Not as much as a ghost, but it could still be seen through none-the-less.

"Go onto my bead and try to draw the, the thing's attention," he told the Spectral Harry in a voice a commander would use, and it immediately complied to his wishes, walking from behind the chair and toward the well lit bed, where only moments before, he and Hermione were delving into a rather exciting escapade. On it's way to the bed, however, the assailant took the bait and blasted the faux Harry with yet another body-bind spell, sending him to the ground.

"Haha, Gotcha Harry," a playful voice Harry should have recognized, would have recognized if the adrenaline in his veins didn't overpower him, called out.

But all nonviolent thought was discarded. Harry leapt from behind the chair he was currently using as shelter, perched on the hilt and roared out, "Stupefy!" Harry's voice seemed more like a grizzly bear than a kind 17-year-old boy, and the magnitude bounced off the walls.

The spell spiraled toward a vastly confused Hermione, who was hunched over the spot where "Harry" had fallen to her body bind, then immediately disappeared. The Stupefy curse Harry just fired was barely visible to the naked eye due to the tremendously deadly swiftness it sped at. The curse connected with Hermione's right ribcage, knocking her unconscious on contact, and the sheer power of the spell tossed her like a rag doll into a sidewall, a good 25 feet away. The limp body of the most brilliant girl in school cascaded downward to the ground after leaving a good dent in the wall, bringing a brightly embroidered, yellow and gold Griffindor tapestry to the ground with her.

In a panic, Harry sprinted toward the woman of his life, and, after a few minutes had passed, had healed her, woke her back up, and placed the tapestry back where it belonged. Of course he began to apologize for his stupidity.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry, Herm. You scared the hell out of me, you know?" Harry continued to apologize to a rather shaken up Hermione.

"Harry," she placed her hand to his lips, "shut up." And with that he gave him a quick peck on the mouth, obviously meant to tease him. "Now are you happy that you took that magical healing course with Madam Pomfrey?

"Oh yes, being shrieked at by a damn fanatical hippo-like-woman for a double period sure did make my day, Herms, it sure did." Of all the teachers he loved at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, there were only a few he�detested. Those being the overzealous potions master, whom Harry rescued after Death Eaters discovered that he had been spying on them, via the Polyjuice potion. Harry had to admit that his information on He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was invaluable, but the things that man said about his late parents could have lead other men to leave his sorry carcass to die. The second teacher Harry harbored ill will toward was the psychotic nurse, and also the so-called seer, who he hadn't had to put up with since early 6th year, when he walked out of her class once and for all when, through reading the stars, she announced how Harry and Hermione were "linked." No one in the school about that, save for a choice few Griffindors Harry trusted, before Trewlney spilled the beans.

Aside from those he hated, the Head Boy had even grown to accept the overbearing deputy headmistress, still adored Dumbledore, and felt a sort of unexplainable to the seemingly callous Defense teacher: Moody.

"Yes, I always do know what is best for you, don't I?" Hermione responded with a quip of her own.

"That's why I love you," Harry said a bit sarcastically, gaining a bit of a giggle from Hermione. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her forth, closing the space between them. He relished holding her in this manner; all his troubles seemed to just float away.

"And this is why I love you," she said grabbing a hold of the front of Harry's jeans, surprising him with her boldness. Harry jumped a bit backward out of shock, before recovering and looking at her pretty, no, beautiful face. On it there laid a horny smirk, the smirk only he ever got to see. Harry stopped himself from succumbing to her naughtiness and composed himself before she thought anything was wrong.

"Didn't think the Head Girl was so shallow," Harry smirked. Hermione scoffed.

"And you said you'd never hurt me," she countered, but, after realizing what she had said, opened her mouth to make an apology. Harry talked first, however, and his words greatly relieved the anxiety-struck Hermione.

"Ahem, I didn't hurt you. The Stupefy curse knocks out its victims, mine just likes to throw them afterwards. So you never felt pain. Quit playing the sympathy card"! He said in a joking manner.

She replied with a McGonagall like yell, "Suck an egg, young Potter!"

In the same tone, Harry replied, "Suck on it, young Granger!"

"Well, if you insist�" she replied as seductively as possible, which was surprisingly very seductive. Harry could feel himself harden from their closeness and the entire mood of the room, which had thankfully changed.

"Why are you so horny today?" he asked his one true love.

She stared him in the eye, as if in disbelief (Which she probably was). "Why are you complaining?"

Were they under different circumstances, Harry would have taken her where she stood, without a second's hesitation, but, being her birthday, he wanted the day to be perfect. He couldn't ruin what he worked so hard to prepare for her.

"C'mon Herms, move, move, move! Get yourself dressed and we'll go to the common room.

Hermione smiled and realized that her Harry was absolutely horrible at staging a surprise party, but she'd at least pretend to be surprised. His naivety and purity had to have been key reasons as to why she loved him so much. He rarely spoke bad about anyone (except Snape), he never hurt anyone purposefully (except once when Malfoy kept badgering her and Harry decided to play knight-in-shining-armor. It was surprisingly funny to see Mr. Holier-Than-Thou Draco begging for mercy on his knees) She also loved that man because of his unfaltering loyalty (he had even forgiven Ron after he came back from the war zone where the final battle against Voldemort and his Death Eaters took place. Ron had openly accused him of being a terrible friend, a liar, and a glory hog, but Harry, her Harry, just told him to not worry about it). Harry never really told her much about that fateful day where he killed Voldemort, Pettigrew, and a number of countless other Death Eaters, but she'd often hear what had happened from his dreams and she didn't know how he coped. Most of all, however, she loved him because Harry loved her. Loved her for who she is, defends her from trouble, and even listens to her demanding cries of studying for the N.E.W.Ts rather than going out to Hogsmeade on a Sunday.

She loved him because he was a kind, loving, sweet Harry Potter, not because he was the powerful, unflinching, legendary hero Harry Potter.

But he still couldn't keep a surprise party secret!!!

Hermione would soon realize she couldn't be more wrong.

Like it, love it, worship it??

Review it!!!

2. untitled

3. Ch 3

Lazy Afternoons Chapter Three

I don't own Harry Potter

THIS IS A MATURE NC-17 story. If you are under 17 leave now. Please. This is something you don't need to see. There are mature themes expressed herein not intended for minors. Read at your risk.

Down the hallway and into the Common Room walked Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, hand in hand. And as Hermione gazed around the normally subdued room, she noticed it was� exactly the same as always.

�Hey!� she laughed at Harry.

�Aww, what did I do now?�

�Nothing, nothing,� she said, �though I do admit I was expecting a surprise waiting here.�

�Oh, I�m sorry-�

�No, no don�t be. I actually don�t mind a day to ourselves.�

�Neither do I,� he grinned.

Hermione smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. She was just as eager as he in all honesty. She gave Harry a peck on the lips. �So�where are you taking me?�

Ever since Voldemort�s demise, trips to Hogsmeade occurred just about every single weekend at Hogwarts. Students crammed the large train in the hopes of being the first seated at The Three Broomsticks or testing out the new George Weasley prank gift at Zonkos. There was always an air of jubilation and excitement. But Harry Potter, the twice savior of the wizarding community couldn�t easily walk a few steps before being hounded by the masses.

So he either completely changed his appearance or just apparated store to store to avoid any wandering eyes. Harry, in his combat training, had undergone just about everything a wizard needs to overcome any sort of situation, no matter what the odds. And one of the many abilities he had to learn was the complex art of apparation, and, being the masterful wizard he is, Harry easily exceeded his trainer�s expectations.

And although Harry thoroughly disliked having to �store hop�, or morph, it beat being caught, and he could always sit back in a nice, dark candlelight restaurant with Hermione and transform back to normal.

�Well,� Harry said as he and Hermione walked out of the Common Room, �I was thinking-�

�That�s a first.�

�Ohhh, original,� and it was good to see Hermione in a playful mood; she�d been all but devastated when news of the Final Battle leaked, and that coupled with the fact that millions died, including Ron and countless other close friends, Harry was surprised that Hermione could even put on a brave face. So Harry tried to make Hermione laugh as often as he could�partially to bring both himself and Hermione out of the rut, but also because he owed it to Ron to try and continue his smart-ass legacy.

�I was thinking we�d just beat the rush and arrive before the train even leaves.� Harry blurted a twinkle in his eye.

�And how, pray tell, will that happen?� Harry removed his wand from his side pocket and pointed it at Hermione. �Okay, a little scared, now� Hermione said.

Harry fired a bright white spell and Hermione transformed from the thin, chestnut haired head girl he loved so much and into a voluptuous blonde haired girl with a pair of skin tight jeans and a top that showed off a little more skin than she would have liked to. The jeans weren�t really skin tight; actually, they were more along the lines of bone-crushingly tight.

�No, I am not going like this, Harry,� Hermione said, matter-of-factly.

�Ah, come on, no one will know it�s you.� Harry pleaded, �Besides, you look so good.� A glare made Harry sputter. �Well that�s not to say that�I mean you do look good normally, but�not to say� I love you, sweetie,�

�Wow, what a smooth operator,� Hermione chuckled. �And I love you, of course,� she said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

By now the pair were somewhere in the vast expanse of hallways. Hermione spoke up, �What did you mean by �We�ll arrive before the train even leaves�?�

�In due time, my lady, in due time, let me get changed first.� He pointed his own wand at himself, but before he changed himself, he realized they were all alone. No one was around, just two very horny teenagers in a hallway all by themselves. Out of nowhere grabbed Hermione and pushed her into the corner of the hallway. �Actually, changing can wait,� Harry growled. �Pleasure before business, right?� and he began to wildly kiss Hermione�s neck.

�Hey, no! Stop Harry; this is like cheating on me,� Hermione moaned. �Harold J-James P-Potter� no Harry�� He cupped her left breast and she realized she might as well stop trying to resist him. The blonde Hermione moaned loudly and grabbed Harry�s hair as he assaulted her sweet neck before devouring her mouth.

The two nearly tore each other�s clothes off as they went at it. Harry pinned her to the dirty ground and began to unbutton her jeans. Hermione moved her hand to block him.

�Don�t worry Hermione, we wont get caught. Relax,� Harry said. Hermione moaned again as he undid the jeans, unzipped them, and discarded them on the floor. Hermione lied with her legs in Harry�s lap, clad only in a simple blue thong and her tiny shirt.

�Happy mother fucking birthday!� Harry yelled and ran his fingers up and down her crotch. She slightly arched her back and grinned. �I promise today is all about you, honey. Anything you want�� he slid his pointer finger inside her little pussy, ��you got.� Hermione was still tight seeing that Harry had just taken her virginity a few weeks before.

Unfortunately, their fun wouldn�t last long. Draco Malfoy had come down one of the moving staircases and heard Harry�s voice. So Draco picked up the pace and ran to confront his enemy.

�Potter, the hell are you doing here?� he demanded as he turned the corner. Unfortunately for Draco, the scene before him was one he�d never forget. A bubbly blonde was sitting in Harry�s lap with a look of horror on her face, staring back at Draco. Harry continued to probe the girl�s walls.

Harry did no want to face this today. �What does it look like I�m doing, douche bag?� he spat back, not stopping his fingering to even look up at Draco. Hermione shrieked and tried to somehow hide herself.

Audibly flustered, Draco was able to retort with his usual coolness, �Seems to me, Potter, you�re making advances on some random groupie. The mudblood not good enough for you?� Harry removed his finger from Hermione�s box, pulled his wand from his pocket, and waved it a few times, nullifying spell on Hermione. She turned back into the familiar Head Girl minus most the clothes.

Draco feared an attack when Harry drew his wand and grabbed for his own. He began to cast the disarming charm but he stopped dead in his tracks after seeing the blonde turn into Hermione, a woman he hated with a loathing more intense than the fire of 100 suns.

He lowered his wand, but kept it out,� Harry gritted his teeth. He looked over at Hermione. She was pissed. �Too ashamed of her are you? Have to hide her up if you go anywhere? She is an ugly broad; that�s obvious, but why not go for a more attractive girl, Potter? This is too much trouble for you, isn�t it? Though I will admit though, the muggle does have a nice set of tits. I never noticed that.�

�That�s enough Malfoy!� Harry yelled and raised his fist. But just before he charged Hermione grabbed his arm. Still in only a thong and shirt, Hermione tried to stop a problem before it started.

�Harry, don�t let him provoke you. Draco's just a shell of a man now. There�s no need to prove to him you can kill his sorry ass. Just let him say what he wants. He�s really not worth it.�

�Dammit mudblood, let the pussy come at me. Don�t listen to your bitch, Potter. You can think on your own.�

Harry just stood stoically for a few moments, drawing in deep breaths. He grabbed Hermione and pushed her into a nearby classroom.

�Draco, I no longer wish to join in your little games. I don�t care about that anymore,� Draco snorted. �I�m through.�

Draco smirked. �You�ve turned even softer, Potter. The mudblood (Harry closed his eyes) took whatever ounce of testosterone you had left from you. You�re just a pussy, Potter. N no good Griffindor pus��

�You know he screamed?� Harry said coolly.

�What,� Draco asked.

�He screamed. He begged me not to kill him,� he said matter-of-factly.

�Oh what now?�

�The poor bastard didn�t know my wandless magic is every bit as potent as whatever I can get out of this little motherfucker right here,� he held up his wand. �Thought he had me cornered. He charged, wand out, started the incantation for the killing curse, but I just blasted the poor bastard in the chest. He met the wall. You ever see a man spit up blood, Draco? It�s can be a pretty sight.�

�What the hell are you blabbering about, Potter?� Draco seemed a little uncomfortable to Harry.

�I put my little switchblade to his neck as he lied there. He begged me not to kill him, said he was brainwashed by the dark lord. Well, I left my compassion at home that day.� Harry paused instinctively, as if building tension. �I cut the fuckers throat and watched him bleed.�

Draco just stared at him.

�That man was your father, Draco.�

Draco underwent a look of horror. He stuttered and struggled for both words and air.

�I must say I was ashamed, Draco. I thought Malfoys had a fighting spirit. Your old man didn�t even scratch me. Such a shame. And don�t get me started on the lackeys. They couldn�t fight to save��

�Go to hell!� Draco sputtered before rushing Harry. Harry sidestepped and easily avoided Draco�s blow.

�Unless you somehow surpassed Voldemort�s power overnight, I would advise against it,� Harry mocked.

Draco, breathing heavily, removed his wand. �Cru-�

Harry was on top of him immediately. He punched Draco in the nose, busting it open, and slammed his head against a wall. Draco slumped, unconscious, on the wall. Harry was livid. The bastard had tried to use an unforgivable,--in Hogwarts no less. He grabbed Draco by the jugular and lifted his sedated body off the ground.

�Reinnervate!� Harry yelled. Draco awoke, choking because of the death grip on his throat. A forearm to the jaw sent Draco hard against the cold, concrete wall. He managed to maintain consciousness despite an obviously broken jaw. A series of kicks to the face remedied this, however, and Draco Malfoy once again descended into unconsciousness.

Hermione saw everything from the classroom, which Harry had magically locked. She stood in both awe and horror for a few moments, before snapping back into reality and breaking the lock and running out of the classroom. �No, no Harry! No!� she screamed. Harry wasn�t listening. He revived Draco again, then smashed his face against the wall. Blood smeared with mucus to make a murky brown color on the wall.

Hermione, still in nothing but her skimpies, ran over to her discarded clothing and grabbed her wand. She pointed at Harry and fired a disarming curse. It Harry in the back, but nothing happened. He continued to beat Draco.

Still unconscious, Draco was flung across the ground. He slid for a few seconds before grinding to a halt. The last remaining Malfoy was bleeding heavily from multiple gashes in his skin, his jaw, his nose, his neck and espically from his forehead. Harry wasn�t done with him yet, but Hermione jumped on his back, grounding him back in reality.

�Harry no! It�s just not worth it. Don�t kill him please! Just stop,� she begged.

�He deserves it, Herm, but I won�t kill him. Calm down.� Harry aimed his wand at Draco and cast a healing spell. Draco stopped bleeding and went back to normal. Hermione was obviously relieved. Sure, she hated Draco, but she didn�t want him dead. This was a little too much to handle.

As Hermione went to grab her clothes, Harry crawled to Draco, who was still out cold. �You make sure you thank her. You thank her for your life when you come to, you sniveling bastard. I wasn�t going to show you any mercy here. If not for her� you�d be on a one-way ticket to the devil by now. You�re one lucky bastard. You hear me?� Harry began to twitch a little. He grabbed Draco by the throat again. �I swear, you dirty bastard. One more mudblood comment�one more weasel comment, and you�re dead. You are dead. And I swear it. Don�t let me hear it ever again.� He let go of Draco and strolled over to Hermione. She was finished dressing, but was staring at the ground.

�Hermione� dear�� He began helplessly. He knew he had fucked up. He shouldn�t have lost it like that but he just couldn�t take it anymore. He couldn�t stand people like Draco. The fact that obvious death eater sympathizers were alive and well in Hogwarts made him cringe. Harry thought that after the war, everything would go to how it should be.

Harry just stared at Hermione helplessly. He didn�t know what to say or do. He never wanted to see this side of him: the killer instinct. She didn�t really know what had actually happened in the Great War, but he suspected the clever brunette was beginning to understand it wasn�t all heroics and valiance. Harry wasn�t sure how long it would take for before he broke down and told her everything.

�Harry, don�t worry, okay? You just snapped. Don�t apologize. Just�I don�t want to see that again, really. My goodness,� she wiped a bit of sweat of her forehead. �Look, you know that I truly love you. No matter what, I love you, Forget the past,� she wrapped him in a loving embrace.

He stared into her eyes and started to sob. She started to cry, too. The two were truly happy, and Harry was relieved as he�d ever been. For a second he thought she run from him, afraid. He sighed and held her close as tears streamed down his face. He wanted to kiss her, but he just couldn�t move. He sighed again.

�Well, let�s get out of here before he stirs,� Hermione said of Draco. �How are we going to get to Hogsmeade, anyway? We can still make the train.�

�No. Just hold on tight, okay?� she gripped his waist, unsure of what was about to happen. Harry clutched his wand hard in one hand, the other crushing against her back.

�Hold on tight!� he yelled. There was a loud crack. All the wind fell from Harry�s body, and the duo was transported to a small, black room. It seemed like a closet. Harry collapsed and wheezed. Hermione was quite fine.

But Harry�what, how? That wasn�t a portkey, but how? You can�t apparate in Hogwarts.�

�No� my dear� lady,� Harry was breathing almost ruggedly. It sounded like he had a heart attack. And for all intents and purposes, it felt like he had one. �You can�t� McGonagall can�t� no one can� but me.�

His breathing was slowly coming back to normal. �You see, my love� I�m not an ordinary wizard. Things that have never been done before, I do. Things that have never been tried before, I try. If you know that I don�t die when hit with the killing curse, what would stop me from apparating through Hogwarts? It just hurts like hell��

�Hmmm� I guess that does make sense,� Hermione said. Harry opened the closet door, and the two tumbled out.

Harry led her through a few doors into a tiny, candlelit room with a table for two. Beautiful carvings of fantastical creatures and gothic paintings beautified the room. The walls were a slate grey with intricate designs leaving no inch of wall uncovered. For a lack of better words it was majestic.

�Recognize it?� Harry smirked.

�Oh Harry! You�ve taken me here before. I remember this was the time we� oh, yes.� The two had dined here about two weeks ago, and, needless to say, things got a bit passionate. After ordering the appetizer and a bottle of wine, Harry began to get a little randy and blocked the whole section off before the waiter could even take their entr�e order. It was one of the most passionate affairs the two had had, lasting for almost three hours.

�Well, no better place for your birthday, right?�

She smiled and took his hand. It was about 11:00 A.M. now. Today was going to be one hell of a day�

Shitty cliffish hanger, I know. I know its been a long fucking time since I updated. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I promise the next chapter will be out within a month, hopefully 2 weeks, but usually my promises don�t mean shit.

Hope you liked my fun/nasty/vulgar story so far. Yes I know, the characters are OOC. It�s FANON. I chose to do that. Please don�t give me a crappy review because you don�t think Hermione would act like that. It�s the way it is.

Now, without further adieu, pleaseReview! Seriously. Any review helps. I thrive on them. Don�t be shy. PM me if you want. Email me. AIM me. TALK TO ME!!!!

Not that I�m desperate or anything. I am willing to beta your story if your story is kinda like mine. If its fifth or sixth year, I�m just not interested. 7th or post Hogwarts H/H only plz. And no angst. I prob have too high expectations, but whatever. Thank you, goodbye!