The Only One

gryffindor-girl

Rating: PG
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 01/08/2007
Last Updated: 14/08/2007
Status: completed

Something is troubling Harry, and Hermione is determined to find out what it is. Learning that his patronus has changed she tries to get him to talk to her, but he keeps backing away. Then she gets a delivery which changes everything. "Dear Hermione, You were right – as always. I have been avoiding you..." Set ten years after the final chapter of DH, ignoring the dreaded epilogue. Last half of the last chapter is my attempt at writing an epilogue Harmonian style, entitled 19 months later... My first fanfic.

Chapters

1. The Patronus

2. The Haircut

3. The Delivery

4. The Memory

5. The Sacrifice

6. The Fallout

7. The Only One

1. The Patronus

My first fic. Modified and reposted in June 08 to iron it out a little.

Disclaimer: Not mine – JK’s. Just playing.

Warnings: Breaks R/L & D/G ships.

Chapter One

The Patronus

The warm yellow lights of The Burrow shone into focus as Harry felt the familiar pressure of Apparition release his lungs.

He smiled to himself; no matter what, it was still one of his favorite places in the world. Normal night noises assailed him as he walked up the path and he recognized the peace he felt approaching this place. Ironic, when he had been steadfastly avoiding coming here for so long now. But the smell of the flowers in the front garden were so warmly familiar they almost soothed his nerves. Almost. He ran a hand briskly through his hair and reached out to rap sharply on the front door.

He watched the shadow approach the glass panels on the front door and realized he was holding his breath. Letting it out he pasted a smile on his face to greet Ron as he opened the door.

“Harry!” Ron pulled him inside by the arm, wrapping him in a rough hug and patting his back hard.

“It’s bloody good to see you mate”

Harry grinned and returned the hug, letting Ron lead him to the chair by the fire.

He stole a glance around the room; still familiar but definitely redecorated – more orderly than his memories. He noted the photos moving in their frames on the mantelpiece; some group shots of the Order and a few of his god son Teddy, each with his hair a different colour. He smiled and stepped closer to examine them, noticing another picture, over ten years old now, of Ron, Hermione, Ginny and himself. God time seems to go so fast, he thought, vividly recalling the shot being taken the day after they defeated Voldemort and they were heady with victory but also just as heavy with grief. It was a strange time, so bittersweet and his eyes lingered on the photo.

‘...you been?” Ron’s last words came into focus and Harry guessed at a suitable answer.

“Great, yeah fine, just busy.” He smiled at Ron “It’s good to see you”

“You too, Harry” he grinned “Hermione has been on at me to get you here for so long, she thinks you’re avoiding her!” Ron laughed.

Harry’s smile faltered a little but he gathered himself again to laugh Ron’s comment off.

“Of course not – no I’ve just been so busy with Charlie and everything…” he faded off

“Yeah, mate I know” Ron said cheerfully. “Listen, Firewhisky? Butterbeer?” he said as he headed for the kitchen.

“Ah… Firewhisky, why not.” Harry replied.

A whizzing noise erupted from the fire’s grate and the flames swelled and changed, bathing the room in blue.

“Here’s Hermione” called Ron unnecessarily as Hermoine spun into focus in the fireplace.

She straightened and stepped out of the grate brushing at her robes. Her eyes travelled slowly up from her feet, and she visibly gave a start once she focused on Harry sitting in one of the squashy armchairs.

“Harry?” she said breathlessly, staring at him as if she wasn’t sure he was really there.

“Hi, Hermione”

He stood up but didn’t move towards her. Her features flickered with confusion for a second before she strode towards him and purposefully grasped him; in a firm hug as she always had. He noticed he didn’t get his usual face full of bushy hair – he set her back from him and studied her.

“You’ve had a haircut.”

Hermione self consciously touched her long curls.

“Oh I know well, I just got it tidied up sort of… It’s actually longer now I just, I learnt better charms to make it stay… down” she blushed.

Harry reached out and touched a long tendril, shiny and sleek. But he’d seen her new hair before now, nearly a month ago, in a photo in the Daily Prophet. It had been of her and her co-workers in front of the new offices of the Magical Law Enforcement wing of the Ministry. The last time he’d seen her in person was… even longer. She looked good, and he told her so.

“It looks great… you look.. great.”

“Thanks Harry” she smiled, her cheeks still pink. “And you, wow! Look at you without your glasses! I hardly recognized you!” She shook her head, knowing that wasn’t true. He looked the same as always, just older, and sadder. His green eyes were even more noticeable without the glasses and she felt her hand go up to touch his scar automatically “Your scar’s really faded… you look really different Harry.”

Harry smiled and leaned back a little before brushing her hand gently away. “Well that was the idea.” He shrugged. “And it was about time I got rid of those glasses anyway…”

Hermione laughed “Yeah I got sick of fixing them all the time”.

The unacknowledged tension that had lay between them since her arrival seemed to lift a little then, and they laughed together, each recognizing that the other was thinking of their very first meeting and of a bossy Hermione pointing her wand between his eyes and fixing his glasses for the first time.

They smiled at each other and Hermione touched his arm to lead him towards the kitchen. They found Ron heading back, behind 3 glasses hovering in mid air.

Hermione took one and kissed Ron on the cheek; the other two made their way to the boys. Harry took a seat at the breakfast bar and looked away as Ron hugged Hermione and asked her about her day.

She moved to lean on the bar. “I was just saying to Harry how different he looks without his glasses – and his scar. How it’s faded.”

“Yeah! Too right. That’s that Muggle remedy isn’t it?” Ron wiped his lips after a swig of Firewhisky “When they use those Lancers, or something? Dad was fascinated when he heard - but Mum thought you were mad” He raised his voice into a fairly accurate imitation of his mother’s. “That Muggle medicine, I mean he really shouldn’t trust it Arthur, it’s so barbaric!”

Harry laughed as he took a sip of his own drink. “Yeah, well it’s one they have over us wizards because they seem to be fixed”. He caught his reflection in a pan hanging on the kitchen wall. “And the scar… I don’t know if it’s just time or the lack of connection now …but it’s really faded”

He rubbed it absently, reminding both Ron and Hermione of days gone by when he’d rub it in pain.

“I’m glad” said Hermione quite forcefully, causing both men to turn and look at her. “Well I just mean, it’s good, Harry deserves a bit of privacy for a change, he’s had that pressure for too long.”

Harry smiled at her. “Yeah, I can’t say I’m unhappy about it”

Ron lifted his glass “Well, now that we’re together …finally…” –he smiled ruefully at Harry, “…then we should have a toast. To…”

“Teddy” Harry interrupted. He wasn’t in the mood for anything deeper tonight, he just couldn’t take mentioning old or absent friends. “He’s just got his Hogwarts letter.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” said Hermione.

“Yeah I can’t wait to take him to Diagon Alley this weekend” Harry grinned “Get him his Quidditch gear and everything.”

Hermione frowned. “And his wand, Harry- not to mention all his books! Besides, first years aren’t really supposed to have brooms and…”

She trailed off as Ron and Harry laughed at her, blushing, but smiling good naturedly.

“I guess things don’t really change, do they.” She took a drink, shaking her head.

Silence fell over them and Harry stared into his glass. No, nothing changes he thought.

“So!” said Ron a little too loudly. “Lets eat then shall we?”

They busied themselves getting dinner ready and an easy conversation started to flow, reminding Harry of times before – in their holidays at The Burrow. The three of them, doing jobs for Mrs Weasley. It was different – so different now though. There were always so many- too many people in the Burrow at most meal times Harry had been there- but now that Mr and Mrs Weasley had moved to the large house just up the road that George had bought for them, all the hustle and bustle had moved up there.

Harry went to the Weasleys fairly often, usually with Teddy in tow so Mrs Weasley could fuss over him and worry he was too skinny and to make sure that he was taking his Wolfsbane potion when he should. Teddy didn’t mind at all- nothing much fazed the kid, he was as cheerful as his Mum but as clever as his Dad. He’d take the attention good naturedly then pelt off to play with Bill and Fleur’s three girls out in the garden, fighting with Victorie over who got to play seeker and teasing the twins Francine and Freda. George’s kids would even out the field though, with the two little redhead boys around, it would remind Harry fondly of his happy childhood times playing with Ron and his brothers.

Now everything was a little more complicated, ironic, because now life should have been easier without the shadow of Voldemort over them all, but sometimes Harry noted, he felt like it still was – Tom Riddle still affecting his life as much as always. Everything that had happened, his memory of his experiences with the Dark Lord hadn’t faded along with his scar; it felt burned into his memory like a brand.

“…so I was wanted to ask you what happened.”

Hermione was leveling him with a direct stare over her plate and Ron had his head down concentrating hard on eating his meal.

“What…sorry… I missed that.” Harry said apologetically, coming back to the present again.

Hermione looked bemused but started again. “I said, Charlie was saying you two were attacked by a Dementor in New Zealand…”

“Oh yeah… that was crazy, who would’ve thought they’d be down there…”

“And,” she continued stubbornly, “He let slip that you had trouble with your Patronus and that it was a ferret or something?” Hermione finished, staring directly at Harry.

“No, well…what happened was” Harry swallowed his food with difficulty and then stopped.

“You know what, Hermione…I don’t really want to talk about it”

He joined Ron concentrating on his plate, but as he knew Hermione wouldn’t drop it.

“You know, its okay if you’re still upset about Ginny. I know it was you who ended it, but it still must be a little strange with her living with Viktor..”

Harry actually laughed with surprise.

“Oh no, really that’s not it, Hermione, I’m really fine with that - it’s great I think ...” he caught himself, realizing what was coming next.

“Well, then what is it, Harry? We never see you, even if you are in the country and your Patronus changes, which we know means something is bothering you but you won’t tell us anything! I’m worried about you.” She finished breathlessly and Harry noticed her eyes welling up with tears.

Harry put down his knife and fork and cast around for something to tell her. “I’m just, I’m just concerned about Teddy that’s all” he settled for - although he knew instantly that it sounded unconvincing.

Hermione went to start up again, but this time Ron spoke up.

“Hermione, drop it. If Harry doesn’t want to tell us…”

“Really, you guys, it’s nothing” Harry interrupted, determined to settle things down again. “It’s just, I’ve just been busy and, and I don’t know what happened with my Patronus it’s…” He looked at Hermione “It must be to do with Ginny I guess though I really am okay about all that. Please believe me, Hermione, I don’t want you to worry.”

She looked up into his solemn face and decided to drop it for now.

“Okay. If you say so.”

They ate the rest of their meal without incident although Hermione was quiet. They talked about Ron’s work at the Ministry and he confirmed to Harry the rumors that he could succeed Kingsley at his retirement next year to become the youngest Minister of Magic to date. Harry jabbed his arm in congratulations and they laughed about how Percy was most put out that he’d be working under Ron.

Ron had proved to be popular with the Wizarding community for his straight forward attitude, mixed with his lack of fear in facing any challenge head on and getting things done. Mr and Mrs Weasley were positively bursting with pride at their youngest sons’ achievements, as they were with all their children - but Mrs Weasley would get teary talking about how Ron ‘proved to everyone that hard work and bravery pays off in the end’. Ginny would roll her eyes every time Molly started that speech but Harry knew she was very proud of her brother too.

“So Ginny’s playing this Saturday night – we’re all watching the game at Mum’s, do you think you’ll make it Harry?”

“Oh …yeah.” Harry glanced at Hermione. “Hopefully…if not Teddy will love to come I’m sure – wearing all his Chudley Cannons gear with his hair bright orange” he laughed.

“Well just lucky for him he can change it back to navy and gold for your games with Puddlemere” laughed Ron

Harry cleared his throat. “Well actually, he’ll have to practice blue and silver… I’ve signed with Appleby.”

Ron raised his eyebrows and looked from Harry to Hermione. “Appleby Arrows! Great – wow that’ll be… but that’s up North how are you going to work that?”

“Well, I figured Teddy’s at school now and so I’ll move up there for a bit. I’ll be able to come back for his holidays of course” said Harry, steadfastly avoiding Hermione’s questioning gaze.

Ron grinned. “Well of course, if they want the world’s most sought after Seeker than they’ll let you do whatever you like! Good on you, mate that’s great. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we’ll have an even split at Mum’s when you play the Cannons – Ginny’s just signed with them again for the next two seasons and they’re looking at picking up Viktor too, huh, if they can afford him… but I’ll still get out the blue and silver for you…”

Hermione frowned at Ron who lost his grin all of a sudden and started stammering.

“Uh I mean, oh sorry I didn’t think…” he blurted

Harry held his hands up, “No, really, I’m fine” he stressed “Seriously, I knew that. Teddy and I went to Ginny and Viktor’s the other night; he really wanted Viktor’s autograph. He probably went through all the colours of the rainbow while they were talking. And Viktor was really great with him.”

Ron laughed and Harry glanced at Hermione, still watching him closely.

“Look, I really better go, I’ve gotta pick up Teddy from Andromeda’s - he’s been there for the last week while I’ve been away and I shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

He scraped his chair to stand up, Ron following suit. “Thanks so much for dinner it was really great.”

Ron grabbed him in a back slapping hug again.

“So good to see you, mate. It can’t take us so long till next time okay? You know you’re always welcome here; you don’t ever need to tell us, just turn up anytime. That’s right isn’t it, Hermione?”

She’d come around to Ron’s side and was looking up at Harry, too closely and a little too sadly for his liking.

“Of course. Harry, you know that” she said.

She stepped forward and put her hand on his arm as she reached up to kiss his cheek, Harry doing the same thing at the same time resulting in an awkward near collision. Harry patted her arm softly and stepped back.

“Well, I’ll be in touch. Take care of each other” He smiled, and only Hermione noticed it the smile didn’t touch his eyes. Then he turned away from the two of them before disappearing with a pop.

“Well.”

“Well what? See, he’s fine, Hermione! What are you worried about?” said Ron, turning to go and get his third helping of dessert from the kitchen.

Hermione stood staring at the spot where Harry had disapparated for a full minute before heading to the kitchen to begin clearing up.

~”~

2. The Haircut

Chapter Two

The HairCut

The house elf in his bright white towel pushed the poker noisily around the fire grate. The dim kitchen gradually became more illuminated as he added wood and built the fire up until the figure sitting at the table behind him called out.

“That’s fine Kreacher, thanks.”

Kreacher turned to his master and bowed.

“Can I get you more Firewhisky Master?”

Harry shook his head. “No thanks, I really don’t think I need anymore.”

He put his arms behind his head and leaned back, rocking his chair by pushing with his legs from their position on the table.

“Uh actually, on second thought, one more thanks Kreacher” he said, staring into the fire.

Kreacher bowed. “Yes sire, Kreacher will be right back.”

The house elf walked off happily humming to himself. Harry smiled thinking of the huge change in Kreacher since he’d first met him at his godfather’s house. The old elf seemed to like nothing more than cooking and cleaning for Harry, and he had even shown remarkable tolerance to Teddy when the young boy had come to live with Harry when he was 6 years old.

Teddy really was living between the two homes of Andromeda his grandmother and Grimmauld place because Harry was so often away with Quidditch or on missions with Charlie but Teddy didn’t seem to mind, he loved both his houses.

The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black had changed much in appearance thanks to both Kreacher and Teddy as one had kept the place spotless and the other had filled it with life and colour.

The curtains were now open most of the time to let in the light, and some of Ron’s friends in the Magical Reversal Squad had finally managed to reverse the sticking charm behind Sirus’ mother’s portrait; it was now in some room in the Department of Mysteries to Harry’s knowledge but he really didn’t care where it was as long as it wasn’t here.

Kreacher surprised Harry by not being offended at her removal at all; in fact he was happy to see her go as she continued to scare Teddy when she’d start up again every time the boy made any noise near the hall.

Harry suspected that the elf’s approval of the boy was partly because Kreacher was a little awed about Teddy’s werewolf geneology – Kreacher did still find fascination in Dark subjects. But Teddy was unaware of this and really the only indication of his werewolf blood so far was his super heightened sense of smell, which so far had only come in handy for him in sniffing out Cockroach Clusters when Harry bought them home.

In fact Kreacher had modified his behavior to all of Harry’s friends; he’d even stopped calling Hermione, or anyone for that matter, a Mudblood.

Hermione.

Harry took his feet off the table and rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his face with his hands.

God it had been so uncomfortable the other night at The Burrow with her and Ron, he’d just wanted to get out of there as quickly as he could. After all these years, she could still read him like a book.

It was why he was keeping away, she could see right through him every time.

But she could never see everything, Harry thought ruefully. And even if she could, if he couldn’t work himself out then how could anyone else possibly expect to.

Kreacher shuffled forward with a glass in his hand.

“Master.”

“Thanks Kreacher” said Harry

“You have a visitor.”

“What?” Harry jerked his head to the clock, it was nearly nine thirty pm. “Who is it?”

Harry could’ve sworn he saw Kreacher suppress a smile as he turned to the walk to the hallway.

“Miss Granger” Harry heard from his departing back.

“Wait, Kreacher?” Harry stood up but the door to the hall swung shut behind the elf and he heard him moving down the long hall to the front door. Harry looked around the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for until his eyes happened on the photo of Hermione from the Daily Prophet resting on the kitchen table by his glass. He snatched it up quickly and stuffed it in his back pocket just as the kitchen door swung open again.

“Miss Granger” said Kreacher as he shuffled past Harry.

“Hi” she said still standing at the door looking a little windswept but smiling as she smoothed her hair.

“Is everything okay?” Harry asked

“Everything’s fine, why?” She froze “Are you… have I interrupted something? I thought… Kreacher said…”

Harry felt a guilty pang looking at her crestfallen face; he had no real reason to be so stand offish to her. He gathered himself.

“Oh no, nothing like that… look sorry, here sit down” He spun a chair around for her to sit on. “Where’s Ron?”

“Well” said Hermione, sitting down and taking her traveling cloak off “I don’t really know.” She smiled a slightly wobbly smile at Harry. “I very rarely do lately.”

“Oh” was all Harry could manage.

She noticed his face fall and pasted on a brighter smile “But you know, that comes with the job…and I’m fine…” she added.

Harry noticed Kreacher bringing back some supper and drinks of his own accord and moved away to let him place it on the table using the opportunity to look at Hermione out of the corner of his eye. She had a desperately sad look about her and he resolved to put his own worries aside to help her with whatever she needed.

“…so anyway I just thought I’d come and see you, y’know see how you’re doing”

He smiled as he made himself a sandwich from the food Kreacher had just laid out.

“Or to check up on me some more?”

She had the courtesy to laugh “No Harry… I didn’t mean… the other night…”

Harry waved her off “No I know – you’re just ‘worried about me’. He grinned and sank his teeth into his sandwich. “Food?” he said with his mouth full, gesturing to the spread.

“Actually… have you got any more of that Firewhisky?”

Harry nearly choked. He tried to recover, and appear nonchalant. “You don’t… I didn’t think you really drank.”

“Who said?” she bristled indignantly “I’ve never said that”

“Ok, ok” he said holding his hands up before pouring her a glass. “It’s just that I’ve hardly ever seen you drink… well not…” He trailed off and grabbed the bottle from Kreacher, filling a glass over ice for Hermione.

“Oh god.” She shook her head, laughing. “Don’t say it. Since George and Hannah’s wedding…” She cringed behind her hands. “Don’t remind me!!”

He was watching her closely, then he tried to smile. “No it wasn’t – you weren’t…”

“Oh come on” She looked at him with one eyebrow raised. “I’m pretty sure I was dancing after the band had packed up”

Harry looked at his feet and his smile widened slightly. “Yeah you were.”

“And they told me you had to carry me to bed – god I still cringe when I think about that night…”

He rubbed his face, looking at the ground. “Hey you were great that night, Hannah said you were amazing for the whole thing, planning it all…” he trailed off.

“Yeah well, I guess I just celebrated a little too much at the end.” She laughed and accepted the drink Harry had poured. “So just one” she said raising her glass.

They settled back, chatting by the fire, Hermione talking about cases she’d been working on lately; Harry regaling her with stories of Charlie and his latest exploits to track various dragons in Australia and New Zealand. Hermione was absolutely fascinated at Harry’s description of creatures she knew so much about but hadn’t actually seen.

“So a real Antipodean Opaleye” said Hermione, her eyes wide. “Oh was she amazing?”

Harry laughed and pushed her arm playfully “You sound like Hagrid you know.”

She smiled and he stood up and shuffled through some photos on the mantle over the fire.

“Yeah she was – the most beautiful I’ve seen. Here.” He sat back down and pulled out a photo from the bunch “Look there she is – you can’t really see how her scales truly glow though, they have this pearly sheen with every colour you can think of in them.”

He held the photo for her to take but she just leaned in and peered at it closely by the firelight. “Oh she’s beautiful” she breathed.

Their foreheads almost touched and Harry thought it might’ve been the Firewhisky that made him turn and look at the side of her face.

“Beautiful” he said.

She turned and looked at him so close, unashamedly studying him. She wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the firelight but the green of his eyes was so intense they were luminescent. And he did look so different without his glasses now. She felt her gaze slip to his lips, just inches from hers. Shaking her head minutely she broke her gaze and looked down then back up at him grinning.

“Your hair Harry.”

“What?” he blinked.

“Your hair is really terrible” she replied laughing

He looked shocked for a moment then grinned running his hand thru his hair self consciously “Well thanks a lot” he said in a mock offended tone

“Oh no, it’s just that it needs a cut!” She pushed her fingers into his hair and held it up to see the length. “Come on, I’m going to cut it for you.”

Harry pulled back with his hands up “No really Hermione, it’s fine…”

But she was already standing “I’m not taking no for an answer Harry, you know you can’t remember when you had it cut last.” He was looking up at her apparently looking for some defense but finding nothing. “Come on, I promise it’ll just be a tidy up – no Molly Weasley ‘all off’ specials” she grinned.

“Okay” murmured Harry as she set up a chair closer to the fire. He felt tired, too tired to argue, too tired to be defensive anymore, and she was right – his hair was sticking up so much even Teddy was giving him stick.

“Over here” she said, a little of the bossy tone he knew so well in her voice. He got up and walked to the chair sitting down in front of her.

“You should take this off” she pulled at his tshirt.

Harry felt his stomach churn. “Oh no, it’ll be fine, don’t….”

His pleas fell on deaf ears as she yanked at the bottom of his shirt pulling it halfway over his head before he moved his arms to help. As she started to run her wand through his hair, he studied his hands braced on his thighs. How the hell did I get into this he thought.

He felt her hand move to his jaw from behind him to pull his head up level then continue to run her wand from the front of his temple to the nape of his neck.

The sensation felt like lukewarm air blowing over his scalp and this, followed by her fingers running through after it, sent shivers down his spine that he tried hard to ignore.

He felt a little giddy and realized that he hadn’t had someone touch him so intimately in a while now. Her light touch on his bare shoulders as she moved around him to cut the sides seemed to almost burn his skin. He wished she would say something because he couldn’t think of a thing.

Then she spoke, pressing both her hands on his shoulders.

“Relax, Harry.”

He closed his eyes. Ok, he reasoned, it’s just Hermione. It’s just my mate’s girlfriend, doing me a favour, giving me some comfort because she knows something’s up with me. He tried to breathe out and relax as she’d said, his eyes still closed. He had to admit, he was truly enjoying her ministrations, and her deft touch as she moved around him was comforting in the least. He laughed when she muttered under her breath, struggling to flatten the unruly tuft at the front; he knew that was one battle she wouldn’t win.

“There” she said, her voice close in his ears and he opened his eyes, surprised to find her directly in front of him, standing between his legs. She was holding his hair up on end with her fingers, her head tilted to the side looking at her effort with a critical eye.

“That’s much better.” She put her wand in her pocket and pushed both hands through his newly shorter hair, tilting her head both ways to examine the effect.

Harry looked up at her, enjoying watching her face as she scrutinized her work. Her own hair hung down in front of her shoulders, level with Harry’s eyes and he could smell the light perfume of the thick waves so close to his face.

He was still observing her as she moved her hands down to his shoulders to brush off the cut hair that had fallen there. Horrified, he suddenly realized with a jolt that her eyes were full of tears.

“Hermione?” he asked, noting the tears were beginning to brim over. He reached up and encircled her wrists with his fingers “What? What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I really…” She was avoiding his gaze. “It’s silly.”

“No no, come on, what’s wrong?” He released one of her hands so she could wipe her eyes then he found himself reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. He wasn’t actually sure he wanted to hear more but his concern got the better of him. “You can tell me.”

She finally looked down into his eyes.

“Harry, what’s happened between us?”

He froze. That wasn’t what he’d expected. His mouth felt very dry and with difficulty he eventually replied.

“What do you mean?”

Her hands started brushing absently at his shoulder again. “It’s like, it’s like you’re mad at me, Harry and I can’t stand it anymore.” Her voice was quiet and he hated to hear the hurt in it.

“Oh no, no I’m not mad at you.” She still stood in front of him, but looking down at her feet now. “Hey” he said and she returned his gaze. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Then what? I’ve done something I know! Because I know you’re avoiding me. You try everything to keep away from me, ever since…. Ever since the wedding…”

She trailed off and he looked around the room trying to plot his next move. This was bad, very bad, he had to get her out of here. He grabbed her wrist again and led her to a chair, sitting her down and pulling one up beside her.

“Listen, Hermione” he began, then reached for his t shirt and stalled for more time putting it on. What was he going to say? What to tell her?

“You can tell me, I swear I can handle it.” She looked at him earnestly.

And strangely, he could feel himself getting irritated. What did she know, how could she put him on the spot like this?

“I’m not mad with you okay, I… it’s nothing like that.”

She frowned at him and he jumped up.

“Look, there are just some things that I want to keep to myself okay? You don’t have to always know everything – I’m entitled to a little privacy aren’t I?” He heard his tone and knew it was too harsh but he couldn’t stop himself, anger was the easiest emotion right now.

“Well it’s just that I…”

“It’s just that you always need to be in my business but I don’t need that anymore.”

He walked to the table and started abruptly clearing the supper things up.

“I don’t get all caught up in yours and Ron’s lives, why can’t you just leave me alone for a change?”

That had done it. Hermione stood, staring at him as if she didn’t recognize him.

“We were,. you were my best friend” she said quietly.

“Well, obviously that should be Ron now shouldn’t it” he snapped.

Immediately he knew he’d gone too far. He put the plates down on the table again and made to step towards her.

“Oh shit… Hermione…”

“No, no you’re right.” She backed away from him towards the door. “I’m always interfering, that’s what it is, I’m… I’m really sorry, Harry.” She turned swiftly and was at the door opening it just as Harry moved towards her.

“Hemione, wait…” He reached the door and wrenched it open again but he’d already heard the tell tale pop that meant she’d gone. His hands came up to his forehead, his head falling back as he cursed loudly then turned to kick the kitchen door putting a hole in it. He crouched down with his arms on his knees staring at the floor.

“I didn’t mean it” he said to the silence.

3. The Delivery

Chapter Three

The Delivery

The witch selling lunches levitated her cart past Hermione’s office.

“Pumpkin Pasties, Cauldron Cakes…” Hermione heard her call out as she moved through the desks on their floor. She glanced at the clock – midday. This day was dragging and she couldn’t concentrate, unusual for her, but things hadn’t been usual for while.

She thought back to this morning, and her conversation with Ron. She hadn’t seen him for days and they had had nothing to say to each other. She even wished for a row, just to have a decent exchange with him but they were just moving past each other.

Tapping her quill against her forehead she considered that they’d become like friends again quite a long time back, even, dare she admit it, like brother and sister. Something felt off she knew, and she didn’t like it but neither of them had the time or energy to address it. Everything was easier left as it was.

But if she was honest, that wasn’t even what was bothering her. She hadn’t been happy since leaving Harry’s that night, when he’d been so venomous to her. She felt tearful even thinking about it and scolded herself for letting it get to her again. He had been right, she was being a busy body and she needed to let him get on with his life.

A sharp tapping interrupted her thoughts and she turned to the source of the noise. A snowy white owl marked with dark bars across her chest and wings stood on the window sill, wide amber eyes blinking solemnly at Hermione.

“Zita?”

Hermione hurried across the room and quickly opened the window, standing back as the owl sprang off the ledge to land on the desk, scattering papers to the floor.

Harry’s owl.

Hermione stood in shock staring at the beautiful creature, a present to Harry from Hagrid a few years after Hedwig had died. She didn’t look unlike Hedwig but it was her dark markings that made her so recognizable and Hermione had no problem identifying her. She looked down at the owls leg to notice a piece of parchment tied there, along with a small brown paper parcel clutched in one talon. It made a solid clunking noise as the owl moved around the desk, scratching for anything to eat. She looked up at Hermione who finally snapped out of her stupor and moved to the bowl of owl treats she kept on her cabinet, taking some to the owl and sitting down in the chair, stroking her wings gently.

She raised her hands to the owls leg untying the parchment, noticing her fingers trembling as she did. The owl had abandoned the parcel now and Hermione picked it up, turning it over in her hands, noting it was quite heavy and solid. She sat there for a while, before eventually choosing the parchment, and unrolling it, she took a deep breath and began to read.

Dear Hermione,

This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write, but after the way I’ve treated you, I know I owe you at least this.

You were right – as always. I’ve been avoiding you, and I have many reasons why, all of which are not your doing at all.

I hope what I’ve sent you will clear things up a bit. I know this could change things between us irreversibly but I don’t think I can keep the truth from you anymore, you see through me too well. I have no agenda, other than to be honest with you as you deserve. I thought I did what I did to protect you and Ron but maybe that’s just a pathetic excuse.

If you never want to speak to me again, I’ll understand, just please know I am so sorry for any hurt I’ve caused you Hermione, please believe me.

Yours

Harry

Hermione reread the letter several times before putting it aside and picking up the package. She stared at it fearfully, almost considering not opening it. Finally she tore off the brown paper to uncover a small glass bottle with a stopper in it and a silvery swirling substance inside.

Knowing exactly what it was she walked straight out of her office with a sense of purpose, and into the open plan shared area of the Magical Law department. Looking around she spied what she was looking for resting on a cabinet. She picked up the large stone basin and brought it back into her office; closing the door firmly behind her and pointing her wand at the glass surrounding her office making the blinds all come swiftly down at once.

Putting the Pensieve on the desk, she uncorked the bottle, tipping the silver threads of memory into the bowl. The substance swirled in front of her as she stared into its depths nervously trying to guess its contents. At last she took a breath and lowered her face into the basin.

Immediately the floor of her office lurched, tipping her head first into the Pensieve. Falling and spinning in blackness she waited for the sensation to finish as she knew it would – she’d had a lot of experience doing this in her job. Finally her feet found earth and she opened her eyes.

She was standing on grass in front of a dancing blue fire in a brazier. Figures sat around the firelight in a circle and she peered into the dim light to recognize the figure of Ginny Weasley stand up and cross the circle. Ginny was wearing a long yellow dress with thin straps and with a jolt Hermione realized she was at George and Hannah’s wedding. This was after the reception; she remembered lighting the magical flames for the last stragglers to sit around as the night had got colder. Music was playing from somewhere and it was clear none of the small group were going home anytime soon.

Hermione stepped into the circle, getting a good look at everybody there. Everyone was perched on chairs taken from the marquee outside The Weasley’s house where the wedding had been held. There was a group of girls, Ginny, Luna and Ginny’s friend Mandy Brocklehurst, laughing loudly at a shared joke in one corner. Lee Jordan was holding court next to them with a group of wizards and witches, all laughing as he regaled them with an animated story. Then there was Charlie Weasley, sitting low in a chair his legs spread out close to the fire looking into the flames and talking to Harry.

Moving over to them, Hermione caught the end of Charlie’s sentence.

“…you’re more than welcome, mate, you’ve got the experience with dragons and you’d enjoy it ‘Down Under’. Get to see a bit more of the world - its right beautiful down there.”

Harry took a sip from a bottle he was holding and Hermione saw him steal a glance at Ginny. “Yeah that sounds good actually” he said.

“The scenery’s not bad either” added Charlie.

They laughed and Hermione noted a familiar pang inside which she dismissed automatically. So this was when Harry got talking about going to New Zealand, and of course, she thought, he’d have met a lot of beautiful witches down there, he was single then.

She watched Harry as he looked up from his bottle into the distance and she turned around to see herself stumble into the circle. She cringed, noting she seemed pretty unsteady on her feet, though she had to admit her strapless blue bridesmaids dress did look nice. Her hair was still all up save one escaped curl by her ear. She was holding her wand in one hand and a glass in the other.

“So,” she said to no one in particular “I put all the chairs away… so it’s all fine. I just somehow put the dance floor on the roof so I might need some help with that.”

Charlie and Harry laughed and Harry reached up to catch her arm.

“You’re alright, Hermione, just leave it -we’ll sort it later.” He pulled her down to sit in a chair next to him.

“But I have to put all the flowers…”

“Just leave them, you’ve done enough today.” Harry put a hand on her leg and she leaned into him, her head fitting into his shoulder.

It felt surreal for Hermione to be watching something that had already happened to her from a different perspective (though she had to admit she couldn’t remember this from the first time around). But she now saw how you could observe things that you were unaware of the first time as she noticed Mandy tug Ginny’s arm gesturing towards Harry. Ginny glanced over, blinked rapidly, and then looked away. “I’m sure George and Hannah would just want you to relax now” Harry finished.

Hermione smiled dreamily and tilted her head on his shoulder to look up at him. “Wasn’t it beautiful today?” she sighed.

Harry smiled. “Yeah, it was great.”

Charlie spoke up. “You know you looked stunning today Hermione.”

She sat up straight in surprise. “I did?” she said, too tipsy to be coy.

“Gorgeous” grinned Charlie. “The classic hot bridesmaid” he laughed.

“Thanks Charlie!” she said too loudly and she leaned across Harry to touch Charlie on the arm. Harry helped her right herself again after leaning too far.

“Yeah you did Miss Granger.” Harry agreed, looking at her affectionately before putting his arm around her shoulders.

They all sat there for a while, the past Hermione talking with Harry and Charlie then getting up to dance to some songs, Lee joining her a few times and swinging her around. The Hermione watching the events tried to spread herself around conversations to see if there was a secret she should be garnering but nothing stood out. She noticed an awful lot of cool glances at herself from Ginny, when she wasn’t watching Harry. At one stage, Charlie commented on it to Harry.

“You’re getting a lot of interest from the cheap seats there” he said, gesturing to Ginny and the girls.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “It’s been an awkward day.”

“Just watch your back… she’s got an awful temper on her that girl” laughed Charlie.

“You think I don’t know that?” said Harry wide eyed and they laughed. “I don’t mean to hurt her Charlie, there’s just nothing there anymore – I’ve only been honest.”

“I know mate, and so does she.” Charlie took a swig. “It’s not been long since you guys called it off that’s all – she’ll get over it”

The night wore on and slowly the crowd began to move from the fire, filtering in to the house to beds or Portkeys arranged previously to get guests home safely.

Eventually it was Harry sitting, Hermione dancing, and Ginny and Mandy standing next to the fire. Mandy moved over to Hermione.

“Come on Hermione shall we go and put those flowers away?” She looped her arm through a swaying Hermione’s and began to lead her off but Harry was too quick. Standing up he took Hermione’s other arm and steadied her as she fell into him.

“No I think she’s done enough for one night – it can wait till morning.” He moved his other arm around Hermione’s waist and began to walk her off towards the house. “I better get her in to Ron” he said over his shoulder as they left a stunned Mandy and Ginny in the firelight.

Hermione followed herself and Harry as they made their way up to the large country house still glowing with a few golden lights. She heard herself giggling.

“Harry I can’t walk in these, I’ve got to take them off.” She made to lower herself onto the grass before Harry stopped her, pulling her up to stand and lean on his back as he tried to take off her shoes. He couldn’t work out the straps in the dark so he scooped up her legs and carried her; Hermione holding tightly around his neck, her head falling on his chest.

“I’m sorry” she said, looking up at him as he walked. “You should have stayed there, …Ginny…”

“No no no” said Harry, concentrating on keeping his footing. “No you helped me out believe me. I’m not in the mood for the same conversation I’ve been having for the past 4 months.”

She looked up at him; sad understanding on her features, then he watched her expression crack into surprise followed by a huge grin. “Look!!” she pointed over Harry’s shoulder into the sky. He looked back to see one of the bewitched sparklers from the Wildfire Whizz Bangs set off at the end of the ceremony still writing resolutely in the sky in gold letters. The charm had worn off on this one somewhat because instead of reading “George and Hannah” as it had, it now read “Orge and Nah”.

Hermione collapsed into fits of giggles, and Harry laughed nearly as much - making it difficult work getting up the rise to the house, but they finally made it. Future Hermione followed them in as they fell through the door into the dimly lit kitchen in hysterics.

“Shh shhh” said Hermione loudly as Harry placed her feet on the floor.

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked keeping her steady as she stood there.

“Fine thanks” she whispered at full volume, “I’m going to apparate home” She moved away from him but he reached out and caught hold of her again.

“Whoa no... no you’re not, you’ll splinch yourself in this state.”

“I’ll be fine Harry really…”

“Where’s Ron? Isn’t he here?”

Hermione blew a loud raspberry. “He went to bed before, up next to his Mummy’s room” she said.

Harry started to pull her towards the stairs. “I’ll help you up there then…”

“No” she said, wrenching her arm out of his. “No I don’t want to… I wanna go home.”

Harry stood there holding both her hands, obviously weighing his options. Looking out the window back towards the fire he seemed to make a decision. “Okay I’ll take you home” he said.

She smiled a sleepy smile up into his face and stepped in to him as he put his arms out and wrapped them firmly around her.

As Hermione saw Harry turn tightly holding his co-traveller, she noticed him dip his head and press his lips into her hair as they faded out of sight.

*****To be continued*******

4. The Memory

Chapter 4

The Memory

***Continued directly from Chapter 3, Hermione is still in the Pensieve watching the memory Harry sent her.***

The Weasley’s kitchen dissolved from Hermione’s sight and instantly the familiar forms of hers and Ron’s lounge took shape in front of her as her past self and Harry apparated into the middle of the room.

The two of them stood there wrapped in each other for a moment until Harry broke the contact and set her back from him; holding out her arms and looking her up and down then holding one of her hands up to his face, then the other, apparently taking stock that all her limbs and digits had made it through their journey.

Hermione wiggled her fingers in front of his eyes.

“Don’t worry I’m all here” she said in a singsong voice.

He gave a small smile, looking down at her as she closed her eyes and placed her hands on Harry’s hips, resting the top of her head on his chest.

“You okay?” he said, moving his hands on her shoulders.

“I’m fine” she said, grinning up at him and holding on to the front of his shirt to steady herself. “We should have a drink”

He cupped her face in his hands.

“I think maybe not” he laughed. She looked up at him and blinked slowly, unintentionally leaning into his hands. Harry’s smile softened.

“So” he said abruptly, looking around and obviously plotting his next move. “We need to get you fed.”

Following them through as Harry helped her into the kitchen, the Hermione watching the scene cringed at herself – she knew she didn’t handle drinking very well which is why she never did it. She couldn’t believe she had no recollection of this; she thought she remembered clearing the chairs away and being told Harry carried her to bed but none of this. She felt embarrassed and confused; she had never forgotten what she’d done while she was drinking before. Why was Harry showing her this? Just to berate her? She watched him as he set about getting out a frying pan and some eggs. He wasn’t using magic at all and she wondered if that meant he wasn’t as far on the right side of sober as he appeared to be.

As he cooked, she watched herself sitting at the breakfast bar dutifully sipping the glass of water Harry had handed her.

“Oh Harry wasn’t it a great day” she said dreamily.

He nodded and smiled as he cracked eggs into the pan. “Yeah it was pretty perfect.”

Hermione was in a reverie obviously remembering the wedding. “I mean, she looked so beautiful and George looked so proud. And their boys were so cute.” Her face turned sad. “And the part where they lit all the candles and remembered Fred and Hannah’s mother was so amazing, it was just right.”

Harry’s face clouded over. “It did seem weird not having Fred there.”

“I know” said Hermione. “But Hannah is so good with George; I think she really understands because she lost her mother to Deatheaters too.”

Harry just murmured in response and the Hermione sitting at the breakfast bar went on.

“I guess that’s why you marry someone, because they understand you right?”

Harry grinned but kept his eyes on his cooking.

“Well I think a few people would agree that you’re asking the wrong person there.”

She looked at him with a confused frown and he glanced up.

“I just mean, what do I know about marriage? Except about how to avoid getting forced into it.”

Hermione raised her eyebrows “Really?”

“Really” he said bringing two plates across to her. “I don’t know how it feels when it feels right, but I know how it feels when it doesn’t.”

She considered him with an almost comically thoughtful expression and he laughed, pointing at the toasted sandwich he’d made her. “Eat.”

Looking down in surprise she picked it up and they stood there, both with their elbows on the bench eating.

“So you were getting the big pressure from Ginny then?” Hermione said between mouthfuls.

Harry cocked an eyebrow “Yeah, marriage, kids the whole lot. It just didn’t feel right. I mean, her and Teddy got on, but y’know, I don’t know if she was the person to help me raise him.”

Hermione nodded. “Very wise in your old age, aren’t you.”

“I learnt everything I know from you” he grinned.

She scoffed. “Yeah right, look at me! I wish I was dreaming of the white dress and all that but…” She put her sandwich down. “I’m all confused.”

Harry seemed to get uncomfortable at this. “You’ll come round” he said.

They finished their food talking about the wedding again, Hermione obviously sobering up a little.

“Come on” she watched herself say as she finished her food. “Let’s sit outside”

Harry shook his head “No I should let you get to bed.”

“No no I’m not tired yet… pleeease?” She grabbed his arm without waiting for an answer and pulled him towards the door, grabbing a blanket off the back of an armchair by the door. Future Hermione followed, watching Harry as he looked back over his shoulder for a moment then let himself be led.

They stepped out onto the deck overlooking the garden and Hermione looked up at the stars. “Oh wow” she said. It was a clear night and the stars were out in force and Harry looked up admiringly too.

“Right” said Hermione, plonking herself down on a cane two-seater and pulling out her wand from a hidden pocket she’d obviously had made in her dress. Harry hadn’t realised she still had it which he decided was a bad oversight on his part as soon as she held it up, shouting,

“Accio Wine, Accio Glasses!”

He lurched towards her calling “No!” but it was too late- he winced as he heard a great crash behind him. Hermione caught the heavy green bottle with surprising agility as it completed its flight through the window of the closed door and into her hands. Harry turned to catch the two wine glasses just in time as they sailed almost past him.

“Oops” she said cheerfully as she inspected the lid of the bottle, trying to work out how to open it.

Harry stepped over and caught her wand hand as she raised it to the bottle. “I think it’d be best if I do that” he smiled, taking both her wand and the bottle gently off her. Opening it with her wand he poured some into each glass.

“I’m not sure we need this” he smiled ruefully as he passed her one.

“Aw c’mon Harry, just a nightcap” she said as she took it from him and took a sip.

The other Hermione sat down on a chair as she watched the events through her fingers, shaking her head but smiling despite herself. She watched Harry sit down on the two-seater, and saw herself arrange the blanket over both of their laps.

They sat back, looking at the stars, talking and drinking their wine. Hermione leaned over and made short work of removing her heels and Harry took his glasses off and placed them in his pocket, rubbing his eyes. Hermione told him she’d forgotten how handsome he looked without them and he pushed her playfully. She began talking about a muggle treatment for bad eyesight that she’d heard about through work.

Suddenly she froze in mid sentence, eyes wide looking at Harry. He frowned in confusion until she whipped back the blanket in one movement. He looked down to see a garden gnome looking up at him, the foot high creature holding on to Hermione’s bare calf.

“AAAAaaaargh!” she shrieked pulling her legs out of his grip and quickly up onto the seat. Her arms shot around Harry’s neck as she tried in vain to get higher up away from the gnome who was still looking up at them with a smirk on its ugly face. Hermione continued to yelp as Harry broke into uncontrollable laughter.

“Get…it…AWAY!!” she yelled, swatting at the pest on each word. Harry eased his hysterics enough to put his foot under the gnome and with one kick send it sailing in an arc into the bushes where it had come from. Resuming his laughter Hermione swatted him on the chest, her other arm still around his neck -she’d retreated so high she was practically on his lap. She looked anxiously towards the bushes before swatting him again.

“Stop laughing!” she said, trying to keep a straight face. “It’s not funny!” she finished indignantly.

Harry continued sniggering. “No, sorry but that was definitely funny” he said, laughing up at her. “It’s very un-SPEW like behavior of you, Hermione.”

She was still frowning down at him in indignation for a moment before her composure cracked and the corners of her mouth started to twitch. He smiled wider as she broke into full laughter, throwing her head back as they both laughed uncontrollably.

They carried on for a while, stopping then starting again at any slight noise made from the other. Finally Hermione wiped laughter tears from her eyes as they both grew gradually quieter.

Realising she still hadn’t released him, she looked back into his face, now only inches from her own and her smile slowly evaporated. He caught her eye then and fell still and quiet also.

The only sound was their breathing as they sat that way, a breath apart, for what seemed like an eternity. The barest movement forward from Hermione bought their heads closer and the Hermione watching from her chair gave a gasp that no one could hear as Harry closed the distance to bring their lips together.

The kiss was tentative, just a soft pressing of lips and then Harry pulled back a centimetre, his eyes opening to travel slowly up to hers. Hermione opened her eyes too, meeting his, their breath mingling in a frozen moment of hesitation.

Then his hand came up to the side of her face, grasping her jaw and bringing her in to him again. Responding in kind she brought both her hands to his neck, crushing him to her as if satisfying a thirst.

He pulled her further on to his lap as she held on to him, their faces never parting and their hands in each others hair.

They broke apart for a moment, breathing heavily with their foreheads touching, holding each other desperately close.

“Harry…” Hermione began hoarsely, but he cut her off.

“Don’t, don’t…” he said softly, closing his eyes and shaking his head side to side, holding her face to his.

She did as he asked, and silenced herself against his lips again. They kissed like this for some time, breaking away at times to just look at each other, eyes searching the others face and then settling on their lips, and inevitably ending in them kissing again. She stroked his hair and he brushed her face with his fingers, suddenly realizing she was crying.

“Harry… “she said, barely audible “You’re the only one I…”

“Shh” he whispered against her mouth, holding her face and brushing away tears with his thumbs.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Harry” she responded, tears falling in earnest now.

He kissed her some more then pulled her onto his shoulder, bringing her legs in close so he was cradling her on his lap. She cried into his neck and he said nothing, his face anguished as he stared down, rubbing her arm with his thumb, her legs with his other hand.

They sat like that, resting on each other then kissing again, stroking each other’s faces, then hands, and then interlocking fingers and resting again, always touching but never talking.

Watching the scene unfold, the Hermione sitting on the chair wiped away tears of her own then moved to sit at hers and Harry’s feet. Her feelings indescribable, she just tried to get as close to them as she could to not miss one moment.

Hours passed and the three of them sat there, and oddly, Hermione from her position on the ground felt like she was intruding on something very private.

She watched them kiss and cry, even laugh a little at times, but still no words were spoken other then Harry asking if she was comfortable. It was as if they didn’t know where to start, so they just sat there, always touching, never more than a matter of inches apart. The crying said more than anything, an unspoken signal of feelings restrained for so long, and of the punishing guilt just under the surface. When she would cry, he would kiss and sweep her tears away, and then she would smile, studying his face as if she’d never seen it before. Occasionally their kissing would grow in intensity, his palms running over her uncovered shoulders, her hands moving inside his shirt front and roaming over his chest.

Finally, he moved them both so they lay back onto the armrest, Hermione resting her head on his arm so she could still see him. He stroked her cheek then her whole face, tracing his fingers over her lips, her eyebrows and nose as she closed her eyes.

Eventually her even breathing told that she was asleep but he continued to watch her for a long time, until light started to tinge the sky above them. He moved to look at the brightening sky and frowned, staring at the horizon, obviously deep in thought.

Future Hermione still sat on the floor hugging her knees as she watched him, feeling exhausted, her cheeks tear stained. She watched him bring out his wand and study it with unusual intensity for a while before pointing it at the broken window in the door and whispering ‘Reparo’.

He rested the wand on his chest and turned back to Hermione sleeping at his side, studying her face like he was memorizing it. He brushed her lips with his thumb and finally spoke.

“I love you Hermione.”

He leaned in and kissed her softly, his eyes closed, before pulling gently away and settling her back on the seat without him, pulling the blanket up to her chin. He sat on the edge, stroking her hair with a haunting sadness in his green eyes. Then he raised his wand to her temple and spoke.

“Obliviate.”

He took one final look at her then bent down, picked up one of the wine glasses and walked back inside the house, closing the door behind him leaving one Hermione sleeping, and the other staring after him.

5. The Sacrifice

Chapter 5

The Sacrifice

Three witches and a wizard in black robes popped in to sight at the wrought iron gates of Hogwarts. Pausing for a moment they all walked straight through the two winged boars either side of the gates and into the grounds. Two of the witches picked up an animated conversation with the tall redheaded wizard, who was obviously enjoying the attention. The other witch with long curly hair trailed just a little behind the group, seemingly unnoticed by the rest.

Hermione glanced at Ron and his two assistants from the Ministry, the two women laughing loudly at his last comment. She resisted rolling her eyes with difficulty; she knew it would do no good to get herself into a mood before going in to Hogwarts and speaking with the students. She cursed herself again for forgetting her promise to Neville that she would come to this Careers Day – it was the last thing she felt like doing. Even with all her gratitude towards the place, she didn’t want to be back at Hogwarts with all the memories it would bring up.

She sighed inwardly as she walked silently behind the other three, purposely studying the grass under her feet rather than glance up at the tall jumble of towers and battlements of her old school. She’d spent the last two weeks avoiding any thought of her past, burying herself in her work, taking on as many cases as she could to avoid thought altogether. Eating and sleeping had come a distant second and she knew it couldn’t go on, but she felt like her world had been turned upside down and she had no idea how to right it. It was apparent that Ron hadn’t really noticed, he was so caught up in himself lately, and Hermione didn’t know whether or not to be grateful or hurt.

Coming out of the Pensieve on the day she’d watched the memory Harry had sent, she’d been immediately full of purpose, she was going to Ron to talk with him, and then she was going to Harry… and then she stopped. What if Harry didn’t WANT to speak to her? He’d kept that memory from her for a full year and avoided her ever since. He obviously had regretted it. She would be embarrassed if she wasn’t so angry at him. But the anger was tempered, she had to admit - by every time she slipped and thought about seeing the two of them, tangled in each other… She felt her face begin to flush hotly as she recalled again the hours she’d watched herself in Harry’s arms.

A hand clapped down on her shoulder.

“Y’right?”

Ron bent and peered into her face with a questioning look as she hastily diverted her thoughts and adjusted her features.

“Fine” she said. Looking up she recognised the double oak front doors behind him and realised they were at the entrance to the school. She took a deep breath. “Let’s go” she said.

They turned together and walked up the stone steps and into the Entrance Hall, the sights, sounds and smells of their past assailing her as they walked over the flagstone floor. Neville was standing by the doors of the Great Hall, his face breaking into a wild grin when he turned and caught sight of them all.

“Oh hi! Hermione, Ron!” He came forward and embraced Hermione warmly, then grabbed a smiling Ron in a rough hug too. “Thanks so much for coming” he grinned as he shook hands with the other two witches. He turned to Ron “I can’t believe it Ron- Senior Undersecretary to the Minister! Gran’s saying you should go all the way to Minister when Kingsley retires, she reckons…”

Neville talked on as he led them into the Great Hall. Hermione couldn’t help but smile at her old friend and his enthusiasm.

“So we’ve got everyone set up at stations and the students will go around to the stations they’re interested in and talk with you all...”

As he talked they moved into the Great Hall and Hermione looked up, noting the enchanted ceiling held a brilliant blue cloudless sky above; in contrast to the overcast skies outside, possibly to make the Hall brighter for the special occasion. Clusters of desks were grouped together in clumps around the room, with pamphlets and posters displayed around them with bright and moving headings like “A Champion at Charms? Terrific at Transfiguration? Healing could be for You!”

Neville led them past the desks towards the front of the large room, pointing out a room off the side of the hall that they could wait in until the students were brought through house by house. Suddenly a high pitched screech shattered the air. She turned to see a pretty witch in lavender robes flying towards them, and then Parvati Patil was hugging both her and Ron in a cloud of hair and sickly perfume.

“Oh it’s so great to see you guys!!!” she cried, as Hermione pulled some of Parvati’s hair from her mouth. “It’s just like old times!!”

Hermione looked sideways at Ron expecting him to be equally amused by her greeting but instead saw him smiling warmly in the expression she’d come to recognize as his politicians guise, one he was getting increasingly good at. She left them to it as they began to discuss Parvati’s new appointment as the Divination Professor.

Moving away from the group she headed to the door of the antechamber Neville had motioned to. Another unbidden memory prodded her as she opened the door and stepped through – that this was the room Harry had been ushered to just after his name had been pulled out of the Goblet of Fire in their fourth year. It was perhaps this thought that made her think she was seeing things as she stepped into the room to see Luna, her white blonde hair showing up brightly against her purple and black robes, standing next to the huge fireplace, talking to Harry.

Hermione froze mid step and stood staring, dumbstruck as the heavy door swung shut behind her. The bang of the door closing was the only sound as both Harry and Luna stared back at her, Luna smiling serenely; Harry having much the same reaction as Hermione, seemingly frozen mid sentence.

Unable to go one step further, she felt physically and mentally paralyzed. She just stood looking at him for an uncomfortable amount of time, noticing he had on his pale blue Appleby Quidditch robes. God, how could she have been so stupid. Of course Neville would have asked Harry too – a professional Quidditch player. If she could have moved, she would’ve actually kicked herself for being such an idiot and not realizing he would be here. He looked horrified, standing there staring at her, but- and she scolded herself for thinking this – god he looked good. His jet black hair was especially untidy; she thought it likely he’d flown here. She tried her mouth out to see if it was working yet but had no response.

Finally Luna came to her rescue, crossing the distance to her and looping her arm through Hermione’s.

“Hi Hermione” she said warmly, leading her to the fireplace and towards Harry. “How have you been?”

Hermione finally snapped out of her stupor and tore her eyes away from Harry for the first time to look at Luna.

“Oh, great – fine Luna, thanks” she mumbled. They had reached Harry who was still standing in exactly the same position. Hermione steeled herself and looked up into his eyes – he was staring down at her with a stricken look on his face. Realising she had to get it together and greet him in front of Luna she found her voice.

“Hi, Harry” she said.

Harry, obviously keen to keep a good face on things, stepped forward awkwardly, putting his hand to her arm but not actually touching it, and leaning in his face to her cheek as if to kiss her hello as he usually would – though she just felt the barest brush of his rough cheek on hers. In that moment, she caught the scent of his skin and she closed her eyes briefly, unnerved. She stepped well back, putting Luna in-between them.

Harry finally spoke.

“I didn’t realize you were coming.”

She smiled dryly. “Neither did I.”

There was a pause, and then he said quietly, “I’m sorry, Hermione.”

There, he’d done it. He’d brought it out in the open. And all of a sudden every moment of the last few weeks welled up inside of her, on an enormous wave of emotion she could feel threatening to pour out. She looked him squarely in the eyes.

“And what am I supposed to do with that? ‘Sorry?’ That doesn’t help me at all.”

He flinched visibly and she almost felt sorry for him but the anger was overtaking her now. Luna continued to watch the conversation as placidly as if she was watching a tennis match, turning to look at each of them as they spoke.

“I know, I don’t know…” he started

“No, you DON’T know!” she barked at him. “You don’t know what I’ve been going through.”

He frowned and she recognized his anger rising also.

“Hey, do you think I like that I’ve had to carry this around for over a year…”

“That was YOUR choice! I didn’t have any choice!” she yelled.

His face fell and he took a step back, “Look I thought I was doing the right thing….”

She gave a sharp hysterical laugh. “Oh, of course you did! It was all for everyone else, it wasn’t to save yourself of course…”

“NO it wasn’t!” he yelled back, stepping in closer to her now. “Do you really think I was only thinking of myself, Hermione??”

Stepping forward as well, she looked up into his face.

“I have no idea what you were thinking” she said hotly.

He looked at her in confusion, the turmoil inside visible on his features. “I just thought it was… best. I didn’t want you to have to …deal with anything”

She raised her voice again as tears came down her cheeks now. “Well you should’ve given me the choice, Harry!”

“I know…” he began

“Because I would’ve….”

“….I’m really…”

“I would’ve chosen to remember!”

She threw the last words as him and they seemed to slap him across the face. He stood back, shocked, not taking his eyes from her. Then a loud bang echoed around the room and they turned to see Ron standing by the door that had just shut, watching them.

None of them were aware of how long he had been there, but the air in the room seemed very dense as he remarked quietly, “We’re needed out in the Hall now” and turned away, leaving through the door and shutting it firmly behind him.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and then both turned to look at Luna who seemed quite undisturbed, a serene smile on her face. “Come on then” she said in her ethereal voice as she put her hands on their backs and moved them all towards the door.

Stepping through into the main hall, Hermione looked around for Ron and saw him with the Ministry witches at a bunch of desks, appearing to watch as they charmed some material to drape over their display. He folded his arms and cast a look back over his shoulder towards her, so full of contempt she flinched. She willed herself not to look back at Harry and Neville came to her rescue as he bustled up to them, ushering her and Luna towards one station and Harry into the far corner by the Quidditch equipment.

The rest of the afternoon was too busy for her to evaluate what had just happened, as she spent the time answering questions and demonstrating charms. Her gaze flicked over to both Ron and Harry; Ron sat at a table talking with students and Harry had his hands full keeping autograph seekers happy and attending the queue wanting a turn with a broomstick and a Snitch. Neither one glanced her way for the entire afternoon and she wasn’t sure if she was glad or devastated about it.

Finally, the students started to thin out and Neville came around to tell them they’d be going to the staffroom soon for some food and drinks as a thank you. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him go to Harry and not long after, saw Harry leave the Great Hall for the Entrance Hall without a glance back. She sat heavily on her seat with her head in her hands.

“It’s a huge sacrifice you make you know.” Hermione heard Luna’s voice pipe up in her ear.

“What?”

“You, and Harry.” Hermione turned to look at her; she was still smiling that maddening peaceful smile. She was already frustrated at Luna as she’d not answered any questions all afternoon, as she’d explained, she was an Unspeakable, so she couldn’t tell them anything about her job. At the end of her patience, she snapped.

“What the hell are you talking about Luna?”

“Well,” said Luna unfazed, taking a liquorice wand out of her pocket and beginning to eat it. “It’s always seemed strange to me.”

Hermione couldn’t take anymore and just sat looking at her, waiting for her next words.

“It’s just that, I don’t see why you prioritise Ron’s happiness over both of yours.” She twirled the liquorice around her finger. “What makes him more important than you two?”

Hermione looked at Luna, aware her mouth was hanging open a little. She had no idea what to say and began to stutter.

“I don’t… I’m not sure what…”

“You don’t need to worry” said Luna matter-of-factly. “I’m not telling anyone. You know I consider Harry one of my very best friends.” Hermione looked into her big silvery eyes and recalled Harry’s fondness for this strange but lovely girl. At this, she gave up all pretence and visibly sagged, exhausted from the days events.

“Thanks Luna” she mumbled. She looked up hopelessly. “I just have to figure out how to move on from this.”

Now it was Luna’s turn to look confused. She tilted her head to the side and studied Hermione for a while. Then she said “You know, for someone so smart, Hermione sometimes, you’re really stupid.”

Hermione coughed and widened her eyes.

“Pardon?”

“Harry’s patronus. You do know it’s changed.”

“I know that…” she began

“It’s an otter.”

Hermione felt herself go cold from the tip of her head to her toes. “An …an otter?”

“Yup” said Luna, watching her closely. “Your patronus is an otter, isn’t it?”

Hermione didn’t answer and Luna didn’t ask again. She just set about clearing away desks with her wand, humming to herself. Hermione looked over at Ron, now talking with Principal McGonagall, and strode purposefully towards him.

6. The Fallout

Chapter Six

The Fallout

Harry walked steadily to the front door of Hogwarts, nearly reaching the steps before his Supernova 4000 caught up with him, flying straight into his outstretched hand. He launched himself off the top step swinging the broom underneath him and once underway, pulled up hard, soaring into the air in a steep and fast climb. As soon as he got height, he crouched low over the polished wood handle, gathering speed.

He grit his teeth against the thoughts crowding his mind but he couldn’t out run them, his conversation with Hermione playing over and over again in his head as he flew. With a sigh he sat back a bit, slowing down, inwardly cursing. How had he made such a mess of everything? The last thing he wanted was for Hermione to be mad at him, but the hurt and anger had been so clear in her eyes and had cut him to the bone. Looking down below he saw the village of Hogsmeade and with an instant decision, pulled into a wide arc to begin his descent.

He thought about the Three Broomsticks but changed direction at the last moment, pulling up outside The Hogs Head Inn. He pushed the door open and strode straight to the bar, glancing around; grateful no one he knew was in there. Ordering a Firewhisky he moved to a table in the corner, leaning his broom against the wall and taking his Quidditch gloves and forearm guards off.

He made short work of downing his drink and then just sat there, staring at his empty glass, alone with his thoughts. How much had Ron heard? He wasn’t sure but he felt a hollow pit in his stomach remembering the poisonous look in Ron’s eyes – he’d seen Ron mad at him before, but he’d never seen him look like this. Harry toyed with his glass as he remembered her eyes, upset and angry, but still that devastating deep brown that was his undoing. Those eyes he felt he could drown in. He gazed at the floor.

“Drinking by himself… it’s not a good sign…”

Two pairs of dragon hide boots stepped in to his vision and he looked up to see Bill and Charlie Weasley smiling in front of him. Strangely, even in the circumstances, he wasn’t unhappy to see them; he’d gotten close to both of them over the years, enjoying their laid back view of the world. The fact that they were both a bit older than him didn’t seem to come into it and Bill had supposed once that it was because Harry seemed a lot older than he was, likely due to all the things he’d had to deal with in his relatively short life. Working with Charlie as a dragon keeper on a few trips had bought them close, and both the elder Weasley boys had a real soft spot for Teddy, both taking him out whenever they had time.

He smiled the warmest smile he could manage and stood up, pulling out some chairs for the brothers to join him. Bill had brought him another drink and he accepted it with thanks, sitting back down in his chair.

“Been up at Hogwarts?” Charlie asked.

“Yeah” Harry took a sip. “Careers Day. Trying to tell the kids to get an education so they can chase a Snitch around all day like me.” They laughed. “Teddy actually talked me into doing it; I think he’s trying to prove to McGonagall that he really doesn’t need to study too hard because he’s going to be a Quidditch player… I can’t come up with an argument against him either” he smiled.

“I bet Hermione will set him straight on that” Bill laughed.

Harry’s face fell before he could catch it and he took a gulp of his drink to hide it. Bill eyed him speculatively. “She and Ron up there?”

Harry avoided eye contact. “Uh yeah, and Luna and others…”

“I’m a bit worried about her” Bill mused.

Harry wanted to ask who but thought better of it, luckily, Charlie asked for him.

“Who, Hermione?”

“Yeah” said Bill “They came around the other night, and she’s just not herself. She’s skinny as a wand and, I don’t know, I can’t put my finger on it…”

Dread clenched at Harry’s insides and he self consciously ran his hands through his hair. Bill kept on.

“Fleur agrees too. But bloody Ron wouldn’t have a clue. Too caught up in his work, which is all very well but that girl is gold and he’ll lose her if he’s not careful.”

Harry was almost painfully uncomfortable now and cast around for any subject at all to change the conversation to. Charlie chipped in again.

“It’s Harry.”

Thinking he was hearing things, Harry’s head snapped up to Charlie to see his friend, glass in hand lying back in his chair, smirking at him.

“Wha..?” Harry stammered

“It’s you mate. She’s in love with you. Always has been. I figured it out not long ago, when I was talking to her - about you.” Bill was taking a keen interest, watching them both through squinted eyes.

“Nooo… no I don’t think so…” Harry began.

“Absolutely” grinned Charlie, and Harry had an impulse to lean across the table and clout him. Bill was still squinting at Harry with his head on the side.

“You know, that makes a lot of sense” he came up with eventually.

Harry stared at them both, incredulous. “What the hell are you guys talking about??” He looked from one to the other. “She’s…she’s practically married to your brother!”

Bill smiled and shook his head. “Those two haven’t been good together for years Harry. You’ve gotta know that. It’s just neither one will be the one to give it up- Ron’s almost said as much to me.” Harry stared at him, his mouth hanging open. “So the question is, do you love her?”

The afternoon had almost been too much for him and he felt distinctly light headed as he stared at them. The silence dragged on and he felt a sort of surrender inside as he admitted quietly, “More than anything.”

Charlie widened the big grin on his freckled face and Bill sat back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his ponytail.

“Well, well.”

Harry sat there looking at the table, numb. He felt like the very fabric of his life was unraveling; everything he had carefully hidden for so long was now sliding out of his control. He knew part of him was relieved that he wouldn’t have to play this constant charade anymore but he was wildly disorientated. He pressed the palms of his hands to his forehead and leaned on his elbows.

“It’s not as big a mess as you think it is Harry.” Bill was looking at him across the table. “Granted, it’s a bit complicated but you and Ron are brothers, and you’ll have to work this out one day.” Perhaps not realizing he did it now, he began absently tracing one of the long scars on his face. “All I know, is that if you find a woman who knows you, the real you, and will love and stand by you through anything…. You can’t let her go. It’s as simple as that” he finished.

Harry looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time and then sat up straight in his chair. Slowly he got to his feet and then looked at both of their faces.

“I’ve got to go” he said.

Charlie kept grinning and Bill pulled out his seat to let him by. Harry walked past then turned back in a preoccupied state to his gloves and broom but both brothers pushed him away again.

“We’ve got it mate” said Charlie as he motioned to the door. “Go.”

Harry nodded at him then bolted out the door and turned on the spot.

**************************************************************************************************************************

Harry cupped his hands around his eyes as he leaned into the glass windows of the The Burrow. No sign of life in there either.

He stood back and looked up at the house, cursing to himself. Now that he wanted to find Hermione instead of avoiding her, he couldn’t track her down. He’d been back to Hogwarts, her office at the Ministry and now The Burrow but no luck.

He knew the next place he should go but hesitated, for the first time since he’d spoken to Bill and Charlie. The little nagging voice at the back of his head that had been calling for attention got louder. ‘And what are you going to do when you find her, Harry?’ it asked.

“I’m making it up as I go along” he said out loud, then turned on the spot.

He waited patiently for the squeezing sensation of apparition to subside so he could take a breath again but as soon as the Wesley’s house came into focus; his straining lungs were knocked sideways as he felt a large object collide painfully with his ribs. He landed heavily on the grass, the back of his head thumping the ground.

Seeing stars he tried to get his bearings, sensing a weight on him, and arms around his waist. His assailants shoulder was pressing him into the ground, but he could feel they were recovering from the tackle quickly. Managing to take his first real breath he recovered from the surprise and grabbed hold of the body under their arms, struggling to turn them and roll them on to their back. The attacker was fairly strong, rolling them over again and he tried to halt their progress with his legs as he came back on top but couldn’t stop their momentum. Then he heard a voice. Ginny’s voice.

“Ron!! Stop!!”

In shock Harry stopped struggling and the attacker swung up on top of him again. He looked up to recognise Ron above him, now sitting back to grip Harry’s robes at the front of his chest. Momentarily confused, Harry froze, staring at him.

“Ron?” he asked

Ron didn’t answer, his face an angry mask as he pulled back one of his fists and pummeled it straight into Harry’s face.

“RON!!”

In the split second of black when the pain exploded in his brain, Harry started to figure out what was happening and took his hands off Ron, pulling his arms up to his head to deflect blows with his forearms in a conscious effort not to fight him. Ron yanked Harry’s face close to his with a fistful of his robes.

“Get up you fucking coward!! Get up!!” he screamed at Harry an inch from his face.

Harry took a look at Ron’s distorted face and his temper got the better of him, launching himself up he drove his forearm under Ron’s chin and shoved him over on to his back. Ron renewed his force now he had some resistance again, and bought his legs up to kick Harry off him. They both jumped up, turning to face each other, circling warily.

“Ronald!!! What is going ON!”

Harry gave a fleeting look over to see Molly Weasley just arriving at the front of the house next to Ginny who was holding her mother’s wand hand down, physically restraining the older woman who looked completely bewildered. Arthur Weasley was behind the two, standing there watching with a kind of sadness etched on his face. Behind him, George was ushering his two little boys inside with their mother before turning back to the scene. Harry registered all of the family and their reactions just before his head snapped sideways again, his lip splitting instantly from the force of Ron’s knuckles.

“RONALD!!”

Harry used Ron’s momentum to pull him down to the ground in a headlock, Ron struggling and cursing.

“Ron, stop!” Harry growled as he fought to contain him. Ron gave another surge and pushed himself up and over, causing Harry to tumble with him, both of them scrambling on the ground as Ron tried to connect his fists with Harry again and Harry trying to block himself effectively. Connecting a few more times, Ron began to lose steam and finally Harry pushed him off and away with his feet; Ron finished sitting and Harry crouching, both panting on the grass looking at each other.

Ron managed to gasp out some words between breaths.

“…Asshole… you gutless asshole….”

Harry frowned at him, trying desperately to piece together the details, glancing at the Wesley’s still watching at a distance. Ron spoke again.

“She told me everything.”

Harry’s eyes widened and he let himself fall back on to his backside, hanging his head between his legs. He couldn’t speak, this felt so surreal, like he was watching a bad drama but from the wrong side of the action.

“Everything Harry! You kept it quiet for a whole year… modifying her memory – what is that?? Is that something you do to all the girls is it? How many have you done that to Harry?” Ron yelled.

Now Harry felt rage rising. “I’ve NEVER done it before! Do you think I…. I didn’t WANT to do it!!...”

“Don’t you DARE!” roared Ron, rising to his feet again now, Harry following suit. Arthur got to them before they got too close again, George just behind him as Arthur placed himself between the two, putting his hands to Harry’s chest. George placed himself at Ron’s shoulder ready to restrain him. “Don’t you dare, PRETEND that you did that for ME!!”

“Ron…. shit…” Harry stepped back closing his eyes briefly. “I thought I was doing the best thing at the time. For everyone.” He looked at Ron imploringly. “I know it won’t matter… but I’m sorry. And don’t blame her, it was my fault, I took advantage…”

“Ha!” Ron gave a sharp laugh. “She didn’t need any encouragement!” he spat. “The two of you must’ve had quite a laugh at my expense… Why do you always have to take everything I have!!”

He made for Harry again but George held him fast, Arthur looking over his shoulder, moving in front of Harry a little.

“Everything!!!” Ron screamed “You always have to win at everything!!”

Harry looked at him, puzzled, then held his hands up in the air. “Winning?? How does this get to be about winning and losing?? It’s always about that with you!! I’m not in competition with you Ron! And if I was, I LOST EVERYTHING A LONG TIME AGO!”

That stopped Ron. He stared at Harry for a moment. Then he turned and walked to the steps of the house and sat down, his head in his hands.

Harry watched him, and then glanced at Arthur. Locking eyes, Arthur gave the barest nod towards the step and turned with him as Harry walked over to Ron. He noted Ginny and Molly still standing watching, Ginny’s arm still around her mother but now more in comfort than restraint. They both looked on with sadness in their identical eyes, and then Ginny offered the smallest supportive smile towards him.

Harry eased himself on to the step that Ron was on, noting the soreness and bruising in his body already setting in. He stayed silent and waited for Ron to pull his head up from his hands.

“I’ve always known.”

Harry said nothing, waiting for him to continue. George and Arthur had moved back a little, still standing close enough to intervene if needed.

Ron stared into the distance. “I always thought it would be you and her. But then, when it wasn’t turning out like that, I thought, well, maybe for once, someone prefers me. Maybe that’s the one thing I’d be better at you in. I know that’s no way to look at setting up with someone…it’s just that I felt so proud. ” He turned to look at Harry who was gingerly feeling his split lip. “And I wanted to deny you, I really did Harry. I wanted to hurt you. So I guess that makes me no better right?”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t know. I think we all lost our way a bit.”

Ron picked up a stray twig and began to twist it. “So, we’ve broken it off.”

Harry’s head whipped around to him in surprise. “Ron, I didn’t….”

Ron held up his hand to stop him. “No, it’s been coming for absolute years. I’ve just been too stubborn to do it.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“I know.” Ron touched the bridge of his nose cautiously, feeling for a break. “Pretty stupid I guess.”

A hint of a smile played on his lips and Harry gave a small smile too.

They sat there in silence for a while, and heard Ginny and Molly walk back into the house. Then Harry spoke up.

“I’ve never wanted to hurt you. Or her. And now look…” He closed his eyes. “I’ve lost you both.”

Ron turned to look at him. “Don’t be stupid.”

He didn’t even want to look up in case he hadn’t heard right until Ron put his hand on his shoulder. He looked up at his friend.

“Look, it’s not like I’m bloody happy.” He shook his head. “But even I can’t deny what’s right in front of my face. And Hermione and I… we’ve been different for a long time now. I guess you sparing my feelings for a decade is long enough…”

Harry stared at him in surprise.

“Yeah” said Ron “I’ve known all along.” He took a deep breath. “And….I’ve known she feels the same.”

Now Harry shook his head. “It’s not like that, mate – I think, if there was ever anything, for her… then… it’s gone.”

Ron actually let out a short laugh. “You’re an idiot Harry.”

“What?”

“Don’t you know her by now? It’s self preservation.”

Harry still looked perplexed and Ron just shook his head.

They sat there in silence again, until Molly came out and insisted on examining Harry’s lip and looking over both of them, taking stock of their injuries. She bought out drinks and hugged them both without words and Harry felt infinitely grateful for her.

“So.” Ron bought his wrist up and looked at his watch. “If you hurry, you can still catch her.”

Harry squinted at him through the late afternoon sun.

“At the airport” Ron said as he rose to stand on the steps. He looked down at Harry still sitting and Harry could see the internal struggle as he finished; “She’s taking a muggle flight to Australia. Heathrow, at seven.” He turned and started walking up the path.

Harry stared after him, torn. “Ron!” he called out.

Ron turned around.

“I…Thanks.”

Ron just nodded, and walked away.

7. The Only One

Chapter Seven

The Only One

Strange looks followed the dark haired man as he made his way through the crowd. It wasn’t necessarily his bruised face or his split and slightly swollen lip. It wasn’t even his strange attire of a pale blue robe emblazoned with a silver arrow, or his footwear with long brown chin pads up to the knee. It was a kind of electricity about him as he strode purposefully through the airport; like he sent out a type of radiance that made people turn and part easily around him as he walked.

He was hurried but appeared single minded, looking up at the signs for the gate numbers and then following them, walking fast. Turning in to a waiting area, he stopped at the doorway, scanning the room, apparently seeking someone.

And then he found her.

Sitting at the end of a row of plastic chairs, her hair almost hid her face as it hung down to the book that she was leaning over. He almost smiled at seeing her like this, her nose in a book, as he’d seen her so many times before. But this time was very different and his fond amusement was overshadowed by nerves as he made his way over to her.

He was one row away before she looked up, sensing something. Their eyes met instantly and he slowed then stopped, looking at her. Her mouth fell slightly open as she took in his appearance, seeming to disbelieve her own eyes. They stayed like that for a moment, long enough for a few of the other passengers sitting near to actually turn to look at them, a few even elbowing their companions to watch.

“Hi” she mouthed, intending to say it but no sound coming out.

He smiled a crooked smile then moved closer, lowering himself slowly into the seat next to Hermione. She was studying his face, as if still not sure he was real and then she gasped and automatically reached her fingers up to his mouth.

“Harry… What…?” she said, softly touching her fingertips to the dried blood on his lip, then gently tracing the bruise forming on his cheekbone.

Harry shook his head slightly but didn’t pull away from her touch.

“Ran into Ron.”

The colour visibly drained from Hermione’s face. “Oh no, Harry – I’m so sorry…”

Shaking his head again he raised his hand to cut her off. “No really, it’s okay.”

She still looked distraught as she studied his face and then her features turned to annoyance.

“I had no idea he’d do that…” she said, examining his face still. “I can’t believe he’d do that.” she said bitterly

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing I didn’t expect.” He paused. “And it wasn’t all bad…Ron’s the one who told me you’d be here.”

That surprised her. “He did?”

“Yeah”

“Oh.”

There it was now, the reason he was there. The conversation they had waited so long to have and here they were, on the threshold of it, and neither one seemed to know how to cross it. They sat there, both silent, both looking at Hermione’s hands laying on her lap. He spoke first.

“Where are you going?”

She hesitated then said “I thought I’d stay with Mum and Dad for a while.”

He nodded, and then there was silence again.

“I really am sorry, Hermione.” She looked up at his face to find him staring at her. “I know this is my fault. I just wish I could fix it all for you.”

She turned her head to the side, looking at him critically.

“It’s like you think I wasn’t there that night.”

His brow knit in confusion as he studied her face, weighing his response.

She smiled a little. “I know I don’t remember it”- Harry grimaced a bit at that- “but, Harry… I knew what I was doing.” she finished quietly.

He studied her for a while, letting her words sink in. Then he spoke.

“Can I ask…what made you decide to tell him?”

Hermione looked off into the distance considering before she answered.

“Luna said we shouldn’t prioritise Ron’s happiness over ours.”

Harry grinned fondly. “Yeah she’s said that to me before too”

“She’s right” said Hermione.

He shrugged his shoulders “She often is.”

“And …Luna told me about your Patronus” she said quietly.

He actually laughed a little. “Yeah. That happened just after the wedding. I thought it would come right again but…” He reached up and brushed some of her hair from her forehead, away from her eyes. “Still an otter” he smiled.

Her lips curved self consciously as she looked down into her lap. Harry spoke again softly.

“Didn’t that…. Didn’t you realise then, how I feel?” he said. She shook her head.

“Harry, you have no idea. I’m just so used to denying any feelings I have about…. me and you. It’s been a part of me for so long, it’s an automatic response.” She looked at him now. “Every time I’ve felt jealously, or maybe….a moment between us, I’ve tried….I’ve just tried to put it out of my head.” Tears welled in her eyes again.

“Self preservation…” Harry murmured, almost to himself, remembering Ron’s words.

A disembodied voice interrupted from over the loudspeaker. “Flight NZ425 to Sydney is now ready for boarding through Gate 17.”

Hermione looked up at him and they searched each other’s eyes for an instant and Harry knew this was it – this was the moment that would decide.

She stood up slowly and he followed her, still trying to find the right words. “Hermione…”

She reached down and clasped both his hands in hers. “Maybe I should just go, Harry.”

His breath caught for a moment, and he thought of turning and walking away – as was his way, as he always did with her.

But he found himself gripping her hands tightly and speaking instead.

“When I look back on everything... it’s always been me and you. At the most crucial moments I can remember…it’s always me, and you.” He was holding his voice steady but the desperation for her to understand was palpable in his green eyes. He raised his voice a little.

“And I’ve been everywhere, all over the world, and I can’t run away from that feeling. It’s like…” he seemed to accept some sort of defeat as he said “It’s like …you’re the only one that feels like home.”

Her eyes widened and she stared up at him, motionless.

He looked down at their joined hands. “It’s been over ten years of hiding how I feel, Hermione and now… I just want to be wherever you are.”

He pressed his forehead to hers and shut his eyes tightly. “Don’t go” he whispered.

Looking up at him, it was like she was seeing him for the first time. Bewildered, she reached up and touched his cheek, and he finally made eye contact with her. Then she frowned, her expression worried.

“I don’t know… Harry… How can this all work?” she asked quietly. She shook her head. “No one will understand.”

They were so close to each other now that no one could hear them, but some stood watching, mesmerized. He bought a hand up to her face and traced her lips with his thumb.

“I can’t care about that anymore. If you love me like I love you…. Then I’m past caring what anyone thinks anymore. All I know is that I just want to be wherever you are” he said again.

Hermione fell into him then and he crushed her against his chest, burying his face in her hair. She pulled back after a while and he held her head lovingly in his hand, resting their foreheads together again. She reached up for his wrist and turned her face to kiss his palm, tasting her own tears. Closing her eyes she shook her head, disbelieving, until he found her lips with his own and kissed her.

The queue moved around the couple, as they stood there wrapped in each other, kissing so tenderly, that some of the onlookers had tears in their eyes. It was that same electricity that had followed the man around all day, and it touched every one of them that saw it. They all filed on to the plane, leaving behind the couple who stayed wrapped in each other till the plane took off, at which they turned and walked with their arms around each other, out of the airport. And no one would ever know this, but all of the people on that plane that witnessed that kiss called the person they loved most in the world as soon as they landed.

EPILOGUE**************************************************************************************************************

19 months later

The four children ran squealing and laughing after the silvery horse, chasing it’s wispy tail as their Aunty held her wand out, making it dance all over the yard for their entertainment. The three girls sighed as they ran their hands through it as it passed, marveling at it’s beauty, but the boy with the light blue hair studying it with determination, bent on catching it and disrupting it’s smoky form. Ginny laughed as she wheeled her Patronus around to face Teddy and he turned away from it as it jumped over him, laughing too and running away.

Hermione laughed at Teddy’s efforts as she watched from her seat on the grass, her plate perched on her knees as she ate. She smiled fondly as Molly Weasley called out to Teddy to caution him against running so soon after his meal. The late afternoon sun burned orange as it sank lower towards the sea, the light playing over the huge expanse of calm water.

She pulled her gaze away from the cliff top view of Shell Cottage and inevitably, her eyes sought out her husband.

He was standing with Bill and Charlie Weasley, laughing over some shared joke. He talked animatedly, obviously retelling some story of his and Charlie’s adventures, giving Charlie some good natured ribbing. Charlie made some comment back and all three erupted into laughter. Then he caught her eye and held a hand up in a wave, holding her stare and smiling at her now. Teddy came up to him then and he leant down to listen to him, their foreheads close.

She still couldn’t believe he was hers, to touch whenever she wanted. She’d watch him often, just enjoying that she could, without restraint. Then she’d always go to him and touch him, press her face into his chest as if to reassure herself that it had really happened – that it had all come true. He’d catch her sometimes, studying him, and he’d smile a smile he used only for her. He knew what she was doing because he did it himself.

They’d been married here, right in front of the pretty whitewashed cottage overlooking the sea. She still remembered the look in his eyes as she walked from the cottage on her father’s arm to join him at the cliffs edge. After a few months of them getting together, it had been strange, it seemed like everyone had accepted it like it had always been that way. Ginny and Viktor had fallen pregnant not long after and the slightly cool manner with which Ginny had treated Hermione with at first had totally faded once her son had been born. Ron was another story.

He’d been slightly difficult at first, bitter and hurt. It hadn’t helped that Rita Skeeter had had a field day with the story, proudly proclaiming that she had broken the story about Harry and Hermione years ago, and writing long pieces about the heartbroken Undersecretary and his deceiving friends. Still, the furor died down after a while and once it was no longer fresh scandal, Ron’s injured pride had a chance to heal. He started seeing a pretty witch named Aquila who worked in his department and their wedding was planned for the next year, after the election that should see Ron become Minister. They were on speaking terms now, and after a few tentative lunches, she started to feel their friendship warming up again.

Harry and Ron had taken a bit longer – until Bill, Charlie and George got them altogether for a night on the Firewhisky, but in the end, it was Percy that had got them talking again. Not in any grand negotiation, just that when he arrived at Charlie’s that night, he made for such hilarious entertainment by being unable to handle his Firewhisky and loudly singing Celestina Warbeck songs, that Ron and Harry found common ground again laughing at Percy like they used to. Since then, they’d spent more time together – Ron even taking Aquila to one of Harry’s games this last weekend. It wasn’t perfect between them, but Harry actually thought it felt more like their real friendship than it had for years.

She broke out of her reverie as she sensed him coming up behind her, smiling at him as he sat himself down on the grass.

“Whatcha thinking about?” he grinned at her, reaching up to pull a stray blade of grass from her hair.

“Nothing” she smiled back. “Just happy.”

He let his hand drop to her face then to her neck and under her hair, pulling her to him for a quick but promising kiss, pressing his nose on hers for a moment before letting her go.

“Beyond happy” he said simply, then touching her cheek briefly, he stood up again to go over and join Teddy and his uncles, getting ready to set up a friendly game of Quidditch. A wispy Jack Russell Terrier materialized in the middle of their circle and said in Ron’s voice; “Be there in ten minutes – I call for Keeper” to much laughter.

Hermione smiled and stood up, walking over to Ginny and Fleur to coo over the baby. All was well.

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I better declare that the title of this story was inspired by the lyrics of a song; it’s a beautiful song by an Australian girl called Missy Higgins. It’s called Ten Days, these are the lyrics;

It’s been ten days

Without you in my reach

And the only time I touch you

Is in my sleep

But time has changed

Nothing at all

You’re still the only one that feels like home

I’ve tried cutting the ropes

I let you go

But you’re still the only one that feels like home.