Lying to Ourselves

memoryspell48

Rating: PG13
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 13/08/2007
Last Updated: 05/07/2010
Status: in_progress

It's been several years since Harry,Ron,Hermione,and Ginny graduated from Hogwarts. Now Aurors, Ron and Harry face dangerous situations on a regular basis. On one mission Harry is struck with an unknown curse with strange side effects. Hidden feelings are revealed and these uncomfortable revelations threaten to tear apart the old Hogwarts romances. (Not AU, just completely ignores the epilogue of doom.)

Chapters

1. Painful Memories

2. What is This Feeling?

3. Fools in Love

4. Repressed Feelings

5. Green-eyed

6. I'm Not the One that you Want...

7. Desperate Measures

8. If I Loved You

9. Looking Through You

10. Bent Too Far

11. Broken and Mended

12. Uncomfortable Conversations

1. Painful Memories

Lying to Ourselves

Disclaimer: All canon Harry Potter is not mine, but the plot of this fan fiction is!

A/N: This story will be canon except I am choosing to ignore that horrible (and I am being kind with so weak of a word) epilogue. This idea has been in my head for a while, and I thought it would be a good way to shake up the H/G, R/Hr ships. Hope you enjoy. Please review if you do! (or don't ;) )

Chapter 1 - Painful Memories

Hermione sat at her desk, which was covered in various stacks of neatly organized papers, deep in thought. She enjoyed her work as at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but it certainly kept her busy. She chewed the end of quill, as she read through a series of documents on reported cases of prejudice towards werewolves. At the moment she was busy promoting further acceptance and rights for those so unfortunate as to have be bitten by a werewolf, like her departed former professor and Order member, Remus Lupin. Things had gotten slightly better after his heroic death in the final battle at Hogwarts, but things were still not the way they should be. There would always be people with deeply ingrained prejudices went out of their way to be refuse be horrible towards groups like werewolves and house elves.

A loud knock on her office door caused her to jump and the papers in her hands and several items on her desk to go flying. She yelped as the rather warm mug of coffee sitting on her desk sloshed all over lap. Thankfully, a quick drying charm fixed the situation.

“Come in,” she said her tone laced with irritation. The door swung open, and rather than one of her co-workers coming to see her, it was her boyfriend Ron. She stood up, frowning in concern as she noted the expression on his face. It made her very uneasy.

“Ron, is everything okay? You rarely have a spare moment to pop by to see me during the day. Did something happen?” she queried, nervously chewing her lip. Her brown eyes darkened in concern.

“I'm fine, Hermione. It's just, we something's happened to Harry,” he said, managing to keep a steady voice. Hermione inhaled sharply, her eyes widening. Her hand gripped the back of her chair.

Ron took a deep breath before answering her.

“Harry, I, and a couple other Aurors were out tracking down some ex-Death Eater's. They managed to take us by surprise and one his him with some sort of wonky spell. He wasn't hurt exactly, but it seemed to be some kind of memory charm. The Healer's assure that he'll regain his memory in time, but they can be certain how long it will take.”

“What?? Oh, Ron, are you certain that he'll be okay?” she whispered, the worry she was feeling made her heart ache as if it was being squeezed by some invisible fist that refused to let go. Harry was her best friend, and he'd been through so much. They all had in the years after Voldemort's return. It pained her that Harry had to deal with yet more hardship in his life.

“I wish I could tell you yes, but until they figure out what spell he got hit with for sure, than I can't tell you yes,” Ron replied sadly, balling his hands into fists as a wave of anger rolled over him. He hated how helpless he was to do anything for his best friend.

Hermione blinked back the tears that had welled up in her eyes. One slid down her face, leaving behind a red trail.

“Have you seen him yet, Ron?” she asked, her voice choked with tears.

“Yeah, they let me see him as so as they made sure he had no other serious injuries. They're going to keep him at St. Mungo's for more tests and other rubbish. He, um, he…well, he had no idea who I was when I saw him Hermione,” Ron replied, his voice cracking slightly as he told her the last bit.

“Um, Ginny, how is she holding up? I assume you've told her.”

Ron sighed wearily. He glanced down at the floor, willing himself to keep his emotions in check.

“Yeah, I have. She's with him now actually. When she came into see him, he just stared at her with these vacant eyes. It was just heartbreaking. It really cut her up.”

Hermione nodded sympathetically, wondering how she'd feel when Harry saw her and didn't recognize her.

Slowly she walked over and slid her arms around him. “It will be okay, Ron. I can feel it. Harry always gets himself into foul situations like this, but he always makes it. I don't know how he does it sometimes, but something just tells me he'll overcome this too.”

Ron patted her on the back and awkwardly pulled away after a few moments.

“Do you think you could get permission to leave for a bit and see Harry. The Healer said that seeing the faces of people he cares about might help, even if he doesn't recognize them at this point,” Ron told her after a moment of silence.

“Oh, of course I can come. My boss will understand, and if he doesn't, than I really don't care,” she answered immediately.

Ron watched as she scurried around her office, throwing some things into suitcase, while using a spell to neatly stack the various documents strewn about the room into neat piles upon her desk. In her haste she knocked over several things that she had just picked up. Ron had not seen her this flustered since, well, maybe when she was waiting for her O.W.L.s to arrive at the Burrow the summer before Sixth Year.

“Okay, let's go,” she said after a few minutes, her briefcase firmly clutched in her hand.

She followed Ron out and locked her office door behind them. She and Ron Apparated together to the street magically concealed St. Mungo's was on. They approached the store front full of ugly mannequins that she remembered from the time when they had all gone to visit Mr. Weasley after he had been attacked by the snake.

Ron informed the mannequin of their reason for visiting and then stepped through the glass.

Hermione followed him, realizing they were going to the floor on which they had seen Gilderoy Lockhart, whose mind had been damaged by Ron's broken wand their Third Year.

Unlike Ron's father had, Harry had gotten his own room. There were three chairs in the hallway just outside the door of Harry's room. Hermione was surprised to see Ginny seated outside in one of them. Her boyfriend's redheaded sister was slumped over, her face buried in her hands. Hermione felt her stomach twist nervously.

“Hi, Ginny,” she said softly as she and Ron approached her.

Ginny looked up slowly, her eyes red, though she wasn't crying now she clearly had been earlier. It was like Ginny to maintain the façade of bravery despite what emotions she might be struggling with on the inside.

“Anything new, Ginny?” Ron asked, patting her on the back as he took a seat next to her. She shook her head, her long ginger hair swishing as she did. She smiled but it was clearly forced. Her smiling lips contrasted eerily with her cheerless eyes.

“Are you sure Gin, why aren't you in there? Are the Healers taking a look at him again?” Ron peaked around the corner and found, in answer to his own question, that the room was empty. He blinked in surprise.

Ginny looked up guiltily.

“I know, I'm an awful girlfriend, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt so much. He is talking to me like he has never met me before in his life. It's just too painful,” Ginny cried her mouth quivering as she spoke.

Hermione stood watching in silence, feeling oddly unmoved by Ginny's reasoning. No matter how much it hurt, now was not the time to be selfish and self-centered. She didn't share any of this with Ginny though, especially not with Ron around. And the waiting was killing her. She knew Harry wouldn't recognize her if he hadn't even know Ron or Ginny, but she wanted to at least get it over with because it would be a painful experience all the same.

“So, has Ron filled you in on everything?” Ginny asked suddenly, turning shifting her gaze to Hermione as if noticing that her brother's girlfriend was there just at that moment.

“Oh, um yes, yes he has. It's dreadful,” Hermione replied, slightly caught off guard and trying to keep herself from getting as worked up as she had upon initially hearing the news about Harry.

“Well, you're awfully calm about this. Harry considers you one of his best friends after all,” sniffed Ginny, looking slightly hurt by what she interpreted as coldness on Hermione's part.

“Ginny,” Ron said in a warning tone. Ginny flashed him a glance of irritation but sighed resignedly.

“I'm sorry, Hermione. This has just been a really long day. You understand.” Hermione nodded impassively.

“Well, Hermione. Do you want to go in and see him now?” Ron asked, rising from his seat.

“Yes, I'm ready,” she said weakly.

“I'll come in with you two, for moral support you know,” Ginny announced, shooting up from her seat like a jack-in-the-box.

Ron shot Hermione a look of confusion but shrugged and took her hand as they entered Harry's room. He was awake and was staring up at the dull white ceiling. He sat up slightly in bed at the sound of people entering the room.

Hermione clasped Ron's hand tightly in her own as Harry's gaze traveled over the three of them. As his green eyes scanned the faces of Ginny and Ron she saw the vacant look in them that Ron had described to her. She braced herself as his eyes moved hers. Their eyes locked and her heart felt as though it had stopped for a moment.

He blinked and his eyes seemed to twinkle for a moment.

“Hermione?” he whispered. Hermione felt her knees buckled slightly and Ron put a steadying arm around her waist.

“Harry, Harry…you remember me,” she whispered.

“Of course I do, Hermione. I love you,” he said, sounding very much like Hermione did at school when telling them things they should have known from Hogwarts a History.

“Bloody hell,” muttered Ron.

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2. What is This Feeling?

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who read the first chapter and wrote me such lovely reviews. I thank you for giving my story a chance. Hopefully this next chapter doesn't disappoint. I may change the end but, but I'll see how people feel about it first ;) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter universe as I am not JKR.

Chapter 2 - What is This Feeling?

Hermione felt an uncomfortable heat rise into her face. She was certain that she was bright red at the moment. Harry loved her? Where in Merlin's name had that come from? Honestly!

She'd come to visit her best friend, expecting him to see her as only stranger, just as he had Ginny and Ron, but instead he'd recognized her and told her that he loved her. Her mind was still reeling.

Harry's words hung uncomfortably in the silent room. No one seemed sure of what to say. Ron was cursing quietly to himself, but not saying anything of consequence. Nervously Hermione glanced over at Ginny who was paused in the doorway of the room. The younger woman's face was very pale making it appear as though her freckles had multiplied as they stood out so sharply in contrast to her skin. Her ear, however, had turned red, very much like her brother's did when he was upset.

Harry was staring at the three them like they were slightly off their rocker.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked finally, looking confused and slightly hurt. He fixed his gaze on Hermione.

“No, no Harry! Of course you didn't!” Hermione said quickly feeling guilty for think only of her own feelings at the moment. Poor Harry had enough to deal with having lost his memory, the last thing he needed was to deal with the drama his surprising memory was bound to cause.

She tentatively sat beside him on the bed being careful not to look over at Ginny. “You said nothing wrong, but I do think you may still be a little confused just yet though,” she told him.

“Hermione, we're best friends aren't we? I really don't know much at the moment, but I am certain what I said wasn't crazy,” Harry insisted, sitting up in bed. He looked very much like the Harry she'd known since they were 11, the Harry who stubbornly clung to ideas if he thought they were right. She sadly smiled as it struck her how different he looked. Though Voldemort had been gone several years she could still she the sadness of Harry's past in his eyes. Now, however, he didn't know for the moment that he was the famous Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, and he seemed years younger.

“Oh, Harry. Yes, of course we're best friends. We have been for a long time, and we've been through a lot together, but we are only friends.”

She nervously wrung her hands together watching his expression carefully. Something about what she had told him was suddenly feeling a bit like a lie and it bothered her. There was an uncomfortable ache in her chest.

She heard a loud sigh of annoyance from behind her and was certain it was Ginny. Harry blinked at her sorrowfully.

“No, Hermione. I think you're wrong,” he said, lying back down on the bed. Hermione sighed, this was draining her emotionally. She gave Ron a pleading look. He seemed to get her silent message.

“Harry, we are just going to step out into the hall for a moment,” he announced in edgy voice. He made his way out of the room, brushing past Ginny who was still frozen in the doorway.

“What the bloody hell just went on in there?!?” Ron exclaimed so loudly that he drew cold stares from several of the people passing through the hallway at that moment.

“Well, it seems that Harry remembers me,” Hermione said dully, the words sounding incredibly foolish the moment they left her mouth. She shifted her gaze to the floor and pretended to be suddenly very fascinated in her shoes.

“No, really, tell us something we don't know,” snapped Ginny, her arms folded across her chest. She flipped her flowing red hair over her shoulder, away from her face.

“Ginny, please don't interrupt!” Ron chided her, wishing that for once his sister would learn when to keep her mouth closed.

“Hermione, I need to know. Is there something going on between you and Harry? How is that he remembers you but not me, the woman he supposedly is in love with? I know you guys are very close, but this really is unbelievable. If Harry was cheating on me, you need to tell me,” Ginny demanded, her eyes flashing, completely ignoring her brother's request. Ron frowned at his sister, his expression darkening.

“Ginny, you know how long Hermione and I have been together. She is in love with me, not Harry. How could even say something like that to her. I know Harry took us all by surprise and that you have a right to be hurt and upset, but don't take this out on Hermione.”

He wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulders. She smiled at him weakly, thankful for his support. She met Ginny's eyes with an icy glance.

“Ron, how can you lie to yourself like that?” she demanded incredulously.

“You told me yourself that you often suspect Harry and Hermione of being together, and Harry told me about some of you're the things the locket made you see. Isn't it possible that there's really been something there,” she argued, refusing to let go of the topic. Ron shifted uncomfortably, the muscles in his jaw twitching.

“Ginny, for Merlin's sake, I thought we were friends! I thought you knew me well enough to know that I don't take other girls' boyfriends. Though it now seems that you don't know me at all. I love your brother and your accusations are hurting us both. We came here to help you through this, and your hurtful accusations aren't making this easier for us or you for that matter,” Hermione said hotly. She could feel her temples throbbing and a headache coming on.

Ginny looked away from Hermione, staring blankly down the hallway.

“You know what, I think we should really get the Healer to come back and look at him. I know that the fact that he remembered Hermione is painful to you Ginny, but he's not doing this on purpose. Who knows what awful spell that Death Eater hit him with?”

Ginny stared at him impassively. Ron grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to focus on him. “Ginny, I know you're upset but don't be a selfish brat. Do you realize you could have lost him? If you really love him you'll be happy that he's beginning to remember anything or anyone at all. It's a positive sign.”

Ginny rolled her eyes at him and set off to go find the Healer who had been attending to Harry. Hermione let out a sigh of relief as soon as the foul tempered girl was out of sight. Tiredly she leaned against Ron.

“You couldn't make repeat this day again if you gave me five libraries of my very own,” she whispered.

Ron patted her comfortingly.

“I'm really sorry. I had no idea visiting Harry would cause such problems. You know Ginny she gets mad and says things that she doesn't mean,” Ron said consolingly.

“Oh, I don't really care. She can say all the garbage she wants because I know it's not true,” he said kindly.

Hermione smiled weakly and leaned wearily against him. After several minutes Ginny reappeared with the Healer that had treated Harry earlier, a gray-haired man with little round glasses and kind eyes.

“Thanks for coming so quickly,” Ron said. The older man smiled.

“It's no problem. Mr. Potter is lucky to have friends watching over him so carefully,” the Healer replied. He looked down at the chart he was carrying. “We, I was quite excited to hear that Mr. Potter has remembered someone.”

Hermione stepped forward. “Yes, he remembered me, sir.” The man looked up at her and smiled.

“Are you his girlfriend then? Many time patients remember the person they love the most, no matter what the spell happens to be that is playing havoc with their mind.”

Hermione's white cheeks stained pink.

“No, I'm his girlfriend, actually,” Ginny said crossly her expression stony.

“Oh, dear, well I can see why Mr. Weasley looks so worn out. I'm sure Mr. Potter's memory was slightly hurtful. But it not right to be angry with the patient, it may even be part of the memory charm used on him that his memories return in such a seemingly strange fashion.” He paused a moment and met Ginny's eyes.

“Please don't worry young lady. He doesn't love you any less I'm sure, and it will be useless to be angry with him. You should be quite pleased that he is remembering anything so soon. It is a very good sign in my opinion. I am going to go in and look at him again. You may all go see him again after that if you wish.”

The Healer strolled into Harry's room, closing the door behind him.

“Ron, I want to go home,” Ginny announced.

“But Ginny. You heard what the doctor just said. You never know, Harry might remember you next!” Ron exclaimed, surprised at his sister's behavior.

Hermione frowned but said nothing. She's had enough arguing for the day.

“Ron, I'm exhausted, and I doubt he'll remember me today anyway. It's too painful to see him like this,” Ginny said pleadingly, grabbing her purse off the seat next to her.”

“Please Floo home with me.”

Ron sighed in defeat. He always felt like he was no match for his sister when she was emotional like this.

“Fine, Gin. But I think you're making the wrong decision. I hate leaving Hermione here along,” Ron said, looking over at his girlfriend.

“Don't worry. I'll be fine. Take care of Ginny. She's had a long day,” Hermione said quickly.

Ginny glared at the bushy haired witch for a moment, but then her expression softened slightly.

“Thanks, Hermione,” she said softly. Ron smiled and took his sisters arm walking down with her to the lobby.

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief to have Ginny gone and slumped down in the nearest chair. Her mind was still racing from all that had happened. Despite how surprising Harry's words had been, she couldn't help but be happy that he had remembered her. As the Healer had said it was certainly a good sign.

Closing her eyes, she began to doze for a moment when the door to Harry's room swung open again. She jumped slightly. The Healer smiled at her kindly.

“He seems fine miss. Go in a see him if you like. Maybe he'll remember some more with you around,” he winked and took off down the hall.

Hermione got up and resolutely walked back into Harry's room before she lost her nerve. If Ginny wasn't going to be here for him she would. Harry sat up and grinned brightly when he saw her in the doorway.

“Hermione! You're still here. I heard a lot of shouting in the hallway. I was worried something was wrong,” he said quickly.

She shook her head. “Don't worry about it Harry. Everything's fine. We all just want you to heal and to get your memory back.” She pulled the chair from the corner up to the side of his bed.

“I have no memory of what happened today, but it sure wore me out,” Harry told her, stretching out languidly with a yawn.

“Well, I know, and you went through a lot, so go ahead and try to get some rest if you want. I'll stay right here,” she told him softly. He glanced at her and the expression in his emerald eyes made her happy, yet uncomfortable because she was sure she saw love in them.

He closed his eyes and after a few moments she could knew his slowed breathing to be that of someone that was sound asleep. He looked so young when sleeping. She had never realized how long and dark his eyelashes were, she thought as she watched them fluttering against his cheeks as he slept. After a few more minutes, she decided to get up and let him sleep in peace. She stood up. Slowly she leaned over and brushed some strands of dark hair away from his face. She felt strangely drawn to him at the moment. As if in a dream she leaned over and softly kissed his mouth. Pulling away, telling herself it was nothing more than a chaste little peck on the lips, she hurried from the room to wait outside for Ron and go home herself.

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3. Fools in Love

A/N: I apologize for taking so long between updates on this story. I have three stories going, and I feel awful, as I have barely had time for any of them lately. I hope to update more often though, and I hope my readers will bear with me. Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, LydiaCarol, who saves you all from reading my first version of the chapters, full of errors!

Chapter 3 - Fools in Love

Harry slept soundly that night. Shortly after his eyelids shut he felt himself drift off and the din of the hospital faded away around him. The last sound in his consciousness was Hermione's voice. His body may have been resting, but his mind was wide awake.

Harry found himself in a strange place. He felt as though he was watching the scene before him, yet also participating in it. He was much younger, his hair shaggier and more unkempt than it was in the present. Looking around, he noted that he was in the middle of a giant chess board, the massive playing pieces shattered all around him. Hermione was at his side telling him that he could go on without her, that she would look after Ron, that she was just “brains and cleverness”. He didn't want to listen to her, but his body seemed to be disobeying his heart. He turned to look back at her, but then things went dark.

The memory changed and an aching feeling of pain in his chest was the first thing he noted. He was looking down at Hermione, lying motionless in a hospital bed, her face frozen in blank horror. He tenderly wrapped his warm hand around her cold, stiff one. He felt sad and angry. Taking a crumpled piece of paper from her frozen hand, he smoothed it out gently. Before he could read it, he was taken to a large dining hall, full of noisily conversing students. A large set of doors opened, and he turned to see Hermione coming through them. He stood up immediately and opened his arms as she came running towards him, nearly getting knocked over by the hug she gave him when she reached him. He grinned widely.

Suddenly he sensed that once again he had skipped ahead in time. This time the images were flashing by quickly. Hermione was with him in a dark forest clinging onto him, the ominous sound of a howling werewolf nearby. Now though she was urging him to cast a Patronus, and he did so, watching a silvery stag escape from his wand. He flew off with her on a Hippogriff to safety after that, releasing a man from prison that he didn't recognize. The events going on around him were a blur, yet somehow he didn't care. The main thing occupying his mind was how her arms had felt around his waist as they soared through the night sky together..

Once again time went on. He took in his surroundings and noted that the people all around him were dressed in elegant robes. Looking down at his own outfit, he saw that he was smartly dressed as well. Next to him stood a boy he recognized as the ginger haired fellow who called himself Ron, who had visited him that day at the hospital. He too looked years younger. Harry suppressed a laugh as he noted Ron's outfit, it was rather funny looking and smelled a bit musty or something. Turning, someone descending the stairs caught his eye … it was Hermione. He felt his jaw drop as he saw how gorgeous she looked in her pretty blue dress robes. Ron looked equally stunned by her appearance.

“Hermione, you look amazing,” Harry breathed, blinking rapidly as she walked towards him. She smiled and blushed shyly, averting her eyes.

“Thank you, Harry,” she whispered, sounding pleasantly surprised by his reaction. He watched her walk over to a waiting young man with a rather serious expression on his face. Harry felt that he knew him from somewhere. The somber-faced boy took her arm with a slight smile. Hermione flushed pink and the couple walked away together. Harry felt a flood of jealously as he watched her disappear around the corner.

Suddenly his vision turned hazy and he was in another place. An older red-haired woman was leading him up a flight of stairs and when the door opened he saw Ron and Hermione. Hermione cried out and flung her arms around him, nearly knocking him over with the enthusiasm of her embrace. He warmly returned her hug, pulling away only reluctantly.

To his irritation, his vision blurred and the scene changed on him again. This time he was in the middle of a room full of people, clearly having some sort of celebration. He looked over and spotted the girl he recognized as Ginny, who had also visited him at the hospital. As if he was programmed to, he rushed over to her and threw his arms around her and then he was kissing her. Confusion flooded his mind. He loved Hermione - why was he kissing this girl? He looked over Ginny's head at Hermione, but her expression was unreadable. What was going on?

A new memory flooded his mind before he could process what he had just seen. He was lying on the floor trying to sleep. Turning over, he saw Ron and Hermione. Their hands were just inches apart as if they had been holding hands before drifting off to sleep. His stomach dropped. Were Ron and Hermione together? Hermione was meant to be with him! Before he could fully digest the scene, the dream shifted.

He was in the forest with Hermione. Ron looked very angry and was storming out of the tent, despite Hermione's tears. Ron turned and looked at her and said, “I get it. You choose him.” Hermione threw herself into a chair and sobbed, seemingly inconsolable. Harry, more so than he probably had been when this had occurred in real life, was very confused.

He didn't have time to think long, as he was now with Hermione in a graveyard, and feeling inexplicably sad. He walked out with her and slid an arm around her waist, which filled him with a sense of warmth and comfort. He smiled down at her, and she warmly returned his smile. Why had they all thought he was crazy at the hospital? Being with Hermione like this felt so right.

Next he found himself out in the middle of a forest with Ron, telling him to destroy a locket. Ron was wielding a sword encrusted with red jewels. As Ron opened the locket, phantom shapes came swirling out into the air and proceeded to taunt Ron. They looked very much like him and Hermione, Harry noticed immediately. The phantom Hermione and Harry taunted Ron, clearly upsetting him. Then they suddenly kissed. Ron looked on the verge of tears and after a bit more hesitation brought himself to stab the locket. He looked over at Harry, thoroughly upset.

“I love her like a sister, and I reckon she feels the same way about me. I thought you knew,” Harry heard himself telling Ron. It felt like such a lie though. Why had he sad that? He turned to Ron wanting to take it back.

Now though he was back at the castle, clearly in the middle of some sort of battle. Ron and Hermione came running towards him, Hermione's arms full of some sort of fangs. She turned to Ron with a glowing expression on her face. They where explaining were they had been, but Harry tuned whatever they were saying out. Suddenly they were kissing, and Harry felt as though he was going to be ill and felt a sudden desire to punch Ron.

“No!” he shouted in frustration, trying to contradict his memory, but no one heard him. The dream Harry's mouth didn't move.

Harry's eyes flew open, and he set up in bed like a jack-in-the-box. He clutched at his shirt which was clinging to him due to the cold sweat that was now coating his whole body.

Someone rushed in and the light from the bright hallway illuminated the room. The person rushed to his side, looking him over with concern. They held up their wand and after a murmured spell, the lights turned on. Harry frowned in disappointment at the unfamiliar face of an older woman staring down at him with concern. It was probably just another Healer. He had hoped some how that it was morning and that it would be Hermione there.

“Are you all right Mr. Potter? You're not in any pain, are you?” she queried worriedly, pushing aside the hair off his forehead and staring down at something there. He gave her a puzzled look.

“Is there something grown on my head that someone failed to tell me about?” he asked, raising his hand and touching his forehead.

The woman gave him a strange look, but after a moment a look of realization crossed her features.

“I'm sorry Mr. Potter. I had forgotten that your memory was altered some how by that spell, and that you don't really remember your past. It's really best not to trouble you now with the facts of this at the moment, but you have a lightning-bolt-shaped scar on your forehead. You've had it since you were young,” she explained quickly. She handed him a small mirror that was sitting on the bedside table.

Harry peered interestedly into the looking glass at his reflection and noted that he did indeed have a scar and such a strange shape too, as she had described. He shrugged and handed the mirror back to her. She smiled kindly.

“Anyway, I came in here, Mr. Potter, because you were yelling in your sleep. I wanted to make sure that you weren't experiencing any pain or new problems,” the Healer told him.

“No, I just had a strange dream. Sorry to bother you,” he said with a sigh. She gave him a quick look before being satisfied that everything was alright and left, extinguishing the lights as she closed the door with a click behind her.

Harry rolled over on his side, staring at the small window in his room. The curtains were drawn shut, so there was nothing to see. His mind was far too full to go back to sleep just yet. He was so confused by what he had seen, and he was worried about what he might see in his dreams when he slept again. His body was still weary though, and his eyelids soon felt heavy as he slid into the world of dreams once again.

He was standing in a bedroom that clearly belonged to a teenaged girl who liked Quidditch. He pulled his eyes away from the walls of the room, to see the redheaded girl who had come to visit him that day, standing in front of him smiling. Ginny was her name, he mentally noted. She took a step closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I wanted to give you something to remember me by,” she whispered. He felt her lips press against his, and in the dream the sensation was enjoyable, but inside his head a voice was violently protesting what was going on.

Thankfully the bedroom door swung open, and Hermione and Ron were poking their heads in through the door. Ginny jumped away from him, blushing. Harry felt incredibly relieved. Ron looked annoyed and Hermione had a funny look on her face, but he wasn't sure what it meant..

Harry looked back and forth between Ginny and Hermione utterly confused.

He breathed a sigh of relief when his eyes flew open. The room was bright with morning light and he smiled gratefully to himself. He really couldn't take any more confusing dreams. The first thing he had remembered before any of these stupid dreams was Hermione and that he loved her. And that redhead Ginny had seemed a little mean the other day, and well annoying, why would he be with her? She was pretty, but had he been that shallow?

Angrily he turned over and punched his pillow. A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. It opened slowly and Hermione's curly head peaked around the corner. Harry sat up in bed, beaming when he saw it was her. Seeing he was awake, Hermione grinned and came into the room.

“Harry! How are you feeling today?” she asked brightly, walking over to sit on the bed. He put his hand on top of hers. Hermione felt her stomach flip guiltily at his touch.

“Other than having some rather odd dreams last night, I guess I'm okay for someone who can't remember much of anything,” he replied with a crooked smile.

Her face paled. “What kind of dreams, Harry?” she insisted. She had thought that Harry's days of having nightmares were over after Voldemort's death.

He frowned, confused by her reaction. “They weren't nightmares. They were just very strange, more like visions than dreams, I'd say. I was thinking that maybe they were things that happened to me when I was younger,” he replied. “Some of them were very confusing though,” he added after a pause.

“Why?” Hermione pressed, not wanting to say too much in case it made Harry worry and hold something back from her. She tried to keep her face neutral.

“Well, first of all was I ever with, or am I still with, Ginny? She seems so irritating, so I can't think why I would be. But I was kissing her several times in my dreams,” he said hastily.

Hermione had to bite her lip very hard to hold back the laughter that was bubbling up. “Um, yes you were, Harry,” she told him, honestly.

“But, why? I know that I love you, Hermione,” he asked. She looked down at the covers of the bed uncomfortably. Before Harry could say anything more on that subject or his dreams though, Ron came into the room.

“Morning, Harry!” he said as he strolled into the room, grinning cheerfully.

“Hi, Don,” Harry said kindly. “It's Ron,” Hermione whispered to Harry.

Ron's face fell.

“He still doesn't remember anything or anyone else, huh?” Ron asked Hermione in a disappointed tone.

“No, nothing else,” she lied quickly. Ron looked so disappointed, making her feel a bit guilty.

“Well, I'll go get us some sweets from the cafeteria downstairs. Harry probably is sick of the nasty stuff they give him,” Ron said decidedly. Hermione forced a smile.

“That would be great,” she said. Ron leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before taking off.

Harry turned to her, looking incredibly hurt. She turned back to him as Ron left the room, caught the look on his face, and gasped at how stupid she'd been. Harry had been just been telling her that he loved her. She bit her lip, feeling like a horrible person at the moment. She should have warned Ron to be more careful about parading their relationship in front of Harry.

“You two are together?” he exclaimed in pained voice.

“Harry, I didn't want to hurt you, so I was waiting to tell you. I guess I selfishly hoped that I wouldn't have to tell you, that you'd remember on your own,” she told him softly.

Harry pulled the hand that was still resting on top of hers away, as if stung. “I see. You were going to go on letting me make a fool of myself,” he said angrily, his green eyes flashing. He tore his eyes from hers. “I guess I should have known after my dream though - you two were kissing in one of my memories - but I wanted to believe that not all of my visions were accurate,” he said, more to himself than to her.

“Oh, Harry - I,” she began, but didn't know what to say to comfort him. She couldn't bear to tell him she loved him as a brother because it would hurt him, and in the pit of her stomach it suddenly felt like it would be a lie. She was remembering the feeling of his lips when she had kissed him last night.

“Harry, I have to go,” she said, jumping up from the bed. Harry said nothing; he rolled over on his side in bed, facing away from her. Ron was coming back as she fled the room, and she collided with him.

“Whoa, Hermione, where are you going?” he asked, puzzled by her hurried depature .

“Not now, Ron. I have to get to work,” she mumbled quickly, hardly in control of her emotions at the moment. She didn't dare stop and face him at the moment. He shrugged and let her go.

“What the bloody hell is going on?” he whispered to himself.

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4. Repressed Feelings

Disclaimer: Canon Harry Potter is not mine. Oh, if only. Harry and Hermione would be together and wouldn't exist only in fan fics!

Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long to update. I got busy and neglected the story for a while. But here is a new chapter at last. I hope I didn't loose all the original readers! Thanks as always to my beta reader LydiaCarol who saves you all from stupid grammar mistakes and other problems in my first drafts of chapters!

Chapter 4 - Repressed Feelings

Hermione was so focused on getting out of St. Mungo's as quickly as she could, that she nearly knocked over several people on the way out. Unfortunately she collided with someone just as she reached the exit, and it was the one person in the world she most didn't want to see at the moment, Ginny.

“Whoa, Hermione, you're acting like a troll or something is after you. Is something wrong? You're going to give the hospital some more patients if you're not careful,” Ginny warned her, looking up and taking in Hermione's flustered appearance.

“Sorry, I am just running late for work is all. I apologize for running into you like that. I'll just be going now,” Hermione said quickly, turning to leave as she spoke. But Ginny grabbed Hermione's arm before she could make her escape.

“Wait! Have you see Harry yet? Has he remembered anything more today? I just had this feeling he might remember me today. Has he?” Ginny demanded her expression eager yet anxious. Hermione shifted uncomfortably in the her grip.

“No, he hasn't remembered anyone else. He still only remembers me, no one else, nothing else,” Hermione replied stiffly, careful not to meet Ginny's eyes. She didn't know what had possessed her, but she had the need to remind Ginny that it was only her Harry remembered, not Ginny. It was a mean thing to do, but she was upset about things earlier with Harry and the words spilled out unbidden.

Immediately Ginny's face fell and her eyes narrowed slightly in anger. She was clearly displeased with the news, especially how callously it had been delivered. “Um, thanks. You should probably get to work,” she said shortly, releasing Hermione's arm and heading off down the hallway without another word or look back.

Hermione sighed in relief as she watched her go, shaken from their encounter. She quickly exited, letting the door slam behind her. Thank goodness she had plenty of work to bury herself in today.

Ron, meanwhile, had returned to Harry's room with some sweets, most of which he'd eaten on the way back from buying it all.

Harry was lying on his side, facing the wall, as Ron entered. He hoped Harry hadn't fallen asleep while he was gone.

“Harry, are you still awake?” Ron asked rather loudly. Harry frowned, really not in the mood for anymore visitors, especially not Hermione's boyfriend. He sighed though, as he remembered some of his visions from last night. It seemed that Ron was his best friend. Harry felt a wave of guilt. Even though he didn't remember his best friend really, it would be wrong to treat him badly.

Harry rolled over on his back and sat up slowly. “Hi, Ron,” he said, forcing a cheerful smile.

Ron grinned. “Glad I didn't wake you up. I brought you some sweets. I figured the hospital food might be rubbish,” he said, holding out a pumpkin pasty to Harry.

Harry took it enthusiastically. The food in St. Mungo's was rather bad at times.

“So, Hermione says you don't remember anything more today, huh, Harry?” Ron asked, while chewing a mouthful of chocolate frog.

Harry frowned at the mention of Hermione's name, but Ron luckily didn't know the true cause of Harry's sudden sour expression. The dreams that seemed to have been memories had caused nothing but trouble so far. Harry wearily shook his head.

“Don't worry, mate, it'll come to you. Those Death Eaters are a mean lot, trust me - the curse he put on you is a right nasty one, it seems,” Ron said quickly, patting Harry encouragingly on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Ron. I feel like a big git for not remembering anyone,” Harry replied.

“Ah, don't worry about it,” Ron said quickly, handing Harry a hunk of chocolate with a smile.

Harry sighed and shoved the candy into his mouth. He nearly choked when Ginny's head popped out from around the corner. Her sudden entrance made Ron start in surprise as well.

“Hi, Harry!” she greeted him enthusiastically.

Harry was too busy coughing for a moment to return her cheerful greeting.

She strolled into the room, pushing a few loose strands of her crimson hair out of her face and tucking them behind her ear.

“Bloody hell, Ginny! You should warn people when you're coming. Your brother's getting old you know. I can't take as much of your childish antics as I used to,” Ron reproved her, looking quite annoyed about having been startled.

She laughed brightly and rolled her eyes at him.

“Don't overreact so; you're hardly old, Ronald. After all, you act more like a child everyday,” she sniffed. She pulled up a chair next to Harry's bed, turning her attention to him.

“How are you today, Harry?” she asked, taking his hand and smiling hopefully at him.

Harry froze for a moment, unable to think of how to respond to her question. After all, he sort of did remember her vaguely after his dreams, though he certainly had no feelings of emotional connection to her yet. He didn't want to make her overly hopeful though with his vague visions. So the one about Hermione and Ron had been real and all too true, but what if the rest weren't? And Ron would feel hurt if he told Ginny anything. Because of what Hermione had said to him, Ron thought Harry still remembered nothing, well nothing more than he had the other day.

“I'm sorry, Ginny. My mind is still as empty as yesterday,” he told her quietly, fidgeting uncomfortably under her steady gaze.

She frowned, but sighed resignedly. She'd hoped that Hermione had been lying.

“I was just hoping you'd remember me at least. I know you don't remember this, but you loved me,” she told him.

Ron looked up, his expression dark. “Ginny, have you gone batty? The Healer told us not to tell him things like that. It's like forcing memories on him. It could overload his mind or something!” he yelled at her.

She rolled her eyes. “I just told him one little thing, not his whole life story,” she retorted acidly.

“Yeah, well, I was warning you in case you got carried away with your emotions or some nonsense like that,” Ron replied.

“Fine, I know you're somewhat right. It's just hard for me,” she sniffed, squeezing Harry's hand sadly.

Harry felt extremely uncomfortable. He hated to make someone he really didn't remember so upset, yet hated feeling guilty for something that wasn't his fault.

“Ginny!” Ron said sharply.

“Oh, fine. Could you at least let me have some time alone to talk to Harry?” she asked softly.

“I have to get to work anyway. I'll see you later then,” Ron said, getting up from his seat. “Bye, Harry. I'll try to be by later tonight. If not tonight, tomorrow,” he added.

Harry nodded and smiled warmly, “Thanks, Ron.”

As Ron walked out, Ginny jumped up.

“I'll be right back, Harry. There's just something I forgot to tell my brother,” she said quickly, smiling at him before taking off.

Harry sighed and stared up at the ceiling.

Ginny tracked down Ron, who had not gotten too far yet.

He saw her rushing towards him, and looked rather puzzled.

“Is everything alright, Ginny? You just told me to leave and now you're chasing after me. Maybe you got hit by a spell that messed with your mind too.”

“There's something I wanted to ask you that I couldn't say in front of Harry,” she explained breathlessly, ignoring his rude comment.

“Well, what is it?” Ron asked impatiently.

“Did you see Hermione this morning? I think she's been acting rather odd about all this. When I saw her this morning she was really upset. Clearly something was on her mind, and she'd just been to see Harry. I mean, I knew she'd be upset about everything that's going on with Harry. But she's acting … I don't know … dare I say, in love with Harry?” Ginny blurted out.

Ron looked at his sister like she'd just grown a tail or something. After a moment of stunned silence he laughed.

“Are you daft, Ginny? I think you need some rest. Of course Hermione loves Harry, but like a brother. You should know that. The three of us have been friends for so long. I'd be worried if she didn't care about him right now. You really shouldn't be getting jealous at a time like this anyway; you should be there for Harry not caught up in petty jealousy,” Ron told her, looking rather angry.

She frowned, looking sulky.

“I suppose you're right. Maybe I'm overreacting. Well, I should get back to Harry. See you later,” she said quickly and took off down the hall towards Harry's room.

Harry heard her footsteps coming near and groaned softly. He'd hoped that she'd forgotten something she had to do and wouldn't come back until much later.

When Ginny took her seat next to him again and an uncomfortable silence hung in the room for a while. Harry really had no idea what to say to Ginny, and she didn't seem to want to be the one to start the conversation at the moment. He idly took off his glasses and played around with them, examining a few small scratches on one of the lenses.

“Harry,” she said, breaking the quiet at last, “did you see Hermione today?”

He groaned inwardly. It figured that she'd chosen the last subject he wanted to talk about.

“Yeah, I saw her,” he said shortly.

Ginny seemed unsatisfied with his answer, but said nothing for a few seconds.

“Did you know that she and Ron are together?” she asked bluntly, watching his face closely. His mouth formed a firm line as fought not to react, glad that he already knew. But it didn't make the news any less painful.

“Yes, I did,” he answered shortly.

“Oh,” she, looking slightly defeated. “That Ron, he's scolding me about not telling you too many things you don't remember, but then Hermione went and told you that. Not that he'd yell at her about it. Did you take the news okay?” she queried, seeming genuinely caring.

“Yeah,” Harry said weakly, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

“Oh, well. I just wanted to warn you, since she is the only person you remember out of all your friends, and when you first saw her you said that you love her. Remember?”

I still love her, and not you, he thought, but held his tongue.

“Yes, that's one thing I do remember. I know I must have hurt you, but I really need you to let it go,” he told her.

She looked somewhat ashamed. “I'm sorry, Harry. I know I'm being awful, and jealous. But as you said, I am hurting.”

He smiled weakly.

“It's fine. I just need some rest now.”

“Oh, yes, of course Harry. I'll try to be back later too, probably with Ron and Hermione. Get some sleep. Let me know if you see any new Healers today,” she said quickly.

“Fine, see you later then.” He turned over and shut his eyes after she left the room, though he really didn't want to sleep, afraid of what memories might come to him next.

After work Ron decided to stop by Hermione's office. She almost always worked far later than him, and he had been worrying about her. Something had upset her before she left in such a hurry, and he wanted to know what it was. He hoped that she would be willing to tell him what had happened.

When he arrived he saw that the door to her office was open a crack, and there was soft light pouring out into the hallway. He knocked softly and she jumped, looking up from the book she was absorbed in. Her desk was unusually messy, covered with several huge books and stacks of paper. Some of the book appeared to be on very dark subjects.

“Hi, Hermione. Get behind on your work today?” he joked. She smiled wearily as she closed the book she had been reading with a frustrated thump, pushing it off to the side.

“No, no. I got it all done long ago. I wish I had more to do. I've just been looking through every book I can think of, trying to find out what sort of curse could have been used on Harry. I am getting impatient with the Healers, and I thought maybe I could find something myself,” she replied distractedly, as she flipped through another dusty book.

“Well, that explains the strange reading material. I was afraid I was going to have to turn you in,” Ron joked, holding up a book called The Cruelest Curses and another called Sinister Spells. Hermione laughed halfheartedly.

“Yeah, well none of the spell books I own would be likely to have the curse used on Harry in them,” she said as she pushed another book aside, clearly finding nothing that she wanted in its contents.

“How long have you been at this, Hermione?” he asked, suddenly noticing how frazzled she looked and the number of empty coffee cups littering her desk.

“A couple of hours or so,” she said evasively.

“Hermione, I know you've been taking this whole thing with Harry pretty hard, but he's going to get better and get his memory back. He always gets himself in nasty situations like this, but he always comes through,” he told her softly, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She shrugged it off in annoyance and got up from her chair.

“How can you be so calm about this, Ronald? Who knows what this nasty curse will do to him?!?! Maybe its effects have just begun! Maybe he'll only remember all the horrible things that happened in his life and it will drive him mad. Maybe … maybe …” she couldn't finish what she was saying as her momentary anger turned to sorrow and her mouth began to tremble. She buried her face against Ron's chest, the tears creating a wet circle on his dark shirt.

Ron patted her on the back awkwardly, somewhat taken aback by her emotional outburst. He had known she was upset by everything going on with Harry, but not this upset.

She pulled away after a few moments, hastily wiping her tears off on her sleeve. She sat back down in her chair, staring silently at her desk for a while.

“Hermione, can I ask you something?” Ron said, taking advantage of her calm moment. She nodded languidly.

“What happened this morning to make you run out of the hospital so fast?” he inquired curiously. “I know you had more than enough time before you had to get to work. You would have been early, even by your own standards. Harry didn't say anything to upset you, did he?”

“I really don't want to talk about it,” she replied shortly.

“Come on, Hermione, please. I won't get angry, I swear,” he pleaded.

She frowned, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Please, Hermione?”

“I just did something to upset him, and I feel awful about it,” she finally answered.

“What?”

“It's just something stupid, Ron. He'll get over it. I just feel bad about it because he has enough problems on his mind already,” she told him.

Knowing that he wasn't going to get any more out of her about it than he already had, Ron decided to drop the subject.

He changed the topic, asking, “Want to come dinner with me at my mum's? She's making a really big dinner tonight, and she invited us over.”

Hermione wanted to say no, but she'd been rude enough to Ron already for the night, and he looked like her really wanted to go.

“Yeah, sure, Ron, that would be nice. Let me just get my things together. I'll meet you there because I want to go back to my place and change first,” she replied.

He grinned and kissed her on the check.

“See you soon then. You don't need to change though, you look pretty already,” he said.

“Thanks, Ron. You're sweet, but I really need to shower,” she told him.

Ron looked down at his watch. “Dinner is in 2 hours. That should give you plenty of time, no?”

“Yeah, of course,” Hermione replied.

She gave him a quick hug before Apparating home.

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5. Green-eyed

Author’s Note: So, I’m back. I don’t know if any of the original readers of this story are still around, or interested in this story, but here it is. Hope this chapter was worth the wait. I got so busy for a while, and then I lost my beta reader (I’m still without one, so forgive any mistakes any this chapter I may have missed while looking it over on my own) and then I had trouble even figuring out to post this story, with the changes on uploading (I’m not as computer savvy as I thought apparently). Anyway at long last here it is, and the next chapter won’t be a whole year in coming.

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I’m not JK Rowling, clearly, and I don’t pretend to be. The original HP characters and plot all belong to her. I’m just having fun :)

Chapter 5 – Green-eyed

Hermione Apparated right by her front door with a sick feeling in her gut, it had been foolish to agree to dinner with the Weasleys, probably the company she least needed right now, but she couldn’t say no to Ron. She had been treating him quite badly because of her recent mood, and she had to make this concession for him. Wearily she unlocked the door, closing it behind herself with a half-hearted slam. The glimpse she caught of herself in her hallway mirror startled her, she looked as though she’d aged a couple of years these past few weeks. Looking unhappily away, she climbed the stairs up to her room. There was still quite a while before she had to be over at the Burrow. She was being to feel quite overcome by exhaustion, both physical and emotional, and decided to lie down on her bed for a while. It only took only a few moments for her eyes to drift closed.

“Hermione?” Harry’s voice called to her. She blinked, disoriented by her surroundings. She was at Hogwarts, and in the Gryffindor Common Room. Celebration was going on all around her, and she realized that it must be 6th Year, when Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup. She looked across the room, her eyes meeting Harry’s. Swallowing hard she felt her stomach twist and her heart drop. What was about to happen next in this nightmare was all too predictable. Uneasily she scanned the room, looking for Ginny. The beaming redhead was only a few feet away from her, standing at the edge of the crowd. Hermione felt her hands unconsciously clench around the arms of the chair she was sitting in and her throat felt inexplicably tight. She watched as Harry spotted Ginny, their eyes locking and then she was in his arms and he was kissing her possessively. A sickening twist of jealous gripped her. Hermione was taken aback by the sob that had risen into her throat, and stood up, heading for the dorm. Stopping on the stairs, as her knees threatened to give out, she leaned her back against the cold stone wall, burying her face in her hands as hot tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving red angry marks on her pale skin. “How could I let this happen?” she whispered to herself.

“Hermione, Hermione, wake up!” a loud voice said, rousing Hermione from her far from restful sleep. Looking up with tear-clouded vision she saw Ron bent over her on the bed, his freckled face grim with concern. Rolling away from him and his gaze she quickly sat up angrily wiping away the tears from her face.

He came over to the other side of the bed and sat down next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. “Bloody hell, Hermione! You scared me; I thought Voldemort himself was back from the dead and up here attacking you.”

“I’m sorry, Ron. I was having a really bad dream, one I’d rather not talk about. But, it was just a dream, don’t worry I’m turning into a nutter,” she told him, trying to add some levity to the situation, unable to meet his concerned gaze. He gave her an awkward pat on the back.

“Well, a bit of my mum’s cooking will set you right, Hermione,” Ron assuredly her cheerfully.

Hermione’s stomach gave a queasy lurch, but she forced a smile. She glanced at the clock and then began to rifle through her wardrobe, trying to avoid the concerned stare she knew Ron has fixed on her. The dinner at his house she had unwisely agreed to go to, was supposed to start ten minutes ago. Ron clearly had come by, concerned about her whereabouts, as Hermione was usually punctual to a fault.

“I’m sorry that I’m running so late. I haven’t been sleeping well, so I’ve been pretty knackered, and I lay down for a moment of rest without realizing I’d fall asleep. You can go tell your mum that I’ll be right over, you can go ahead of me and I won’t delay things any longer,” she told Ron, before he could ask her anything more, hoping he’d take her suggestion. She really needed a moment alone to clear her mind. Frowning, she shoved aside a rack of jumpers.

“No, no, Hermione, it’s fine. You know Mum, she always over does family dinners a little bit, so she was still adding a couple other side dishes to the menu when I left to come get you, and Ginny got held up at work, so it works out fine,” Ron replied as he adjusted his seat on the edge of Hermione’s bed. “Besides, I’d be a real prat if left you’re here alone, what with how upset you are at the moment.” He failed to notice Hermione’s noticeable twitch at the mention of Ginny’s name.

‘Actually, you’re being a prat by not leaving me alone, and by talking about your insipid sister,’ Hermione thought to herself, cringing when she thought about how unkind she was being and guilty for thinking what she had about Ron. He was just trying to be a nice boyfriend, and it wasn’t his fault that he was so terrible at understanding women.

“Okay, we can be off now,” Hermione announced, as she finished buttoning up a light blue jumper that she had put on over her white blouse from work that went well with the trousers she was wearing. That was about all the energy she had for dressing up in her tonight.

“Alright, my mum been dying to see you, and so has my dad. You would’ve thought I told them the bleeding Prime Minister was coming over when I told them you agreed to come to dinner tonight,” Ron said with a laugh right before they Apparated to the Burrow. Hermione felt the familiar tug at her bellybutton and in no time they were in front of the Burrow. Ron had moved out long ago, but often had family dinner with all the Weasleys several times a month. They had all grown even closer after their numbers had been decreased by the last battle at Hogwarts, years ago. Mrs. Weasley hid her pain well though, as did the rest of family.

“Mum, we’re back and I’ve got Hermione with me,” Ron shouted as he came in through the front door. The hands of Mrs. Weasley’s special clock moved to show that Ron was now home. Hermione noticed that Ginny also was. She felt a little twitch of guilt, after all Ginny was her friend, they had grown apart in recent years, but she had always considered Ginny a good friend.

Mrs. Weasley came bustling in her face glowing from the heat of the kitchen. “Oh, you’re just in time dears, we’re all here now, come, come.” The couple followed her into the kitchen were the large family table seemed to be groaning under the weight of all the food Mrs. Weasley had prepared. With magic to help or not Ron’s mother still made the best food that she had ever tasted. Her appetite was a little better than what it had been a little earlier. She took a seat next to Ron being careful to avoid eye contact with Ginny.

“How’s things, Hermione?” asked, Ron’s surviving twin brother George who was seated across from her. He grinned impishly at her. “Still putting up with my brother, huh, thought you would have grown tired of him long ago, he added with a wink and a glance over at his younger brother who was helping himself to a hearty helping of steak and kidney pie.

Ron’s ears quickly turned red and it looked like it had taken a fair amount of restraint on his part to keep him from hexing George silly. Just a few years ago he would have.

Hermione smiled.

“I’m fine George, how about you,” she replied, after a moment of thought. Was she fine?

“I think I’m about the same, Hermione. Been keeping myself busy, with various diversions you might say.”

Mrs. Weasley frowned and shook her head. “You really need to settle down George. Hopefully you will find a nice girl soon, I’m longing for more grandchildren,” she said. She smiled at Ginny and Hermione.

Ginny grinned and Hermione coughed and nearly choked on the piece of boiled potato she was eating. George’s roar of laughter didn’t help matters any. Ron flushed bright red from his ears to his neck and forehead.

“Yes, well I was fairly certain that Harry was going to ask me to marry him fairly soon, well before everything that’s been going on,” Ginny told her mother, glancing over at Hermione.

Hermione bit her lip, refusing to rise to Ginny’s bait.

“Yes, well things will sort themselves out with Harry very soon, I’m sure dear. I hope I didn’t upset you,” Mrs. Weasley said comfortingly to Ginny. “I’m sure I’ll be altering my old wedding dress for you soon enough.”

Ron looked nervously at Hermione who was stabbing a carrot on her plate with particular vehemence and that his mother, trying to give her the hint to get off the subject of Harry. For once his mother seemed to understand and shifted the conversation.

“So, Hermione, dear, how has work been going? Ron says that you are working very hard, perhaps harder than is good for your health. You look so thin and pale darling,” Mrs. Weasley said, reaching over and patting Hermione’s hand.

“Oh Molly, she’s just being a good employee dear, things have been very busy over in her department lately,” Mr. Weasley told her as he cheerfully at his roast beef.

“Yes, don’t worry about me Mrs. Weasley. I have been working hard, but I just didn’t want to let myself get behind, especially recently. I’ll take a break sometime soon,” she assured Ron’s mom.

“Well, that’s good darling, eat up while you’re here.” Hermione smiled gratefully at Mrs. Weasley for not pressing her any further.

“So, Hermione, I guess your busy work schedule is why you haven’t been by to see Harry in a while,” Ginny piped up, making more of an accusation that a comment.

“Yes, that it why, Ginny, although I thought you would be pleased,” Hermione countered, trying to stay calm. Her nerves were worn clean through, but she didn’t want to fight with Ginny over a nice family meal.

Ginny laughed a rather fake sound. “No, no, you know how much Harry loves to see you. He keeps asking about you.”

Hermione looked up from her plate, blinking in surprise. Her heart ached dully for a moment. It felt as though Ginny had twisted a dagger in her chest.

“Well, tell him how busy I’ve been, but I’ll be by soon,” Hermione said, trying to should nonchalant about the whole thing, which took a lot of acting on her part. She simply wouldn’t break down in front of Ginny.

Ginny nodded and for once decided not to push Hermione further.

George looked between the both of them and made a cat noise and a hiss. Ron laughed as all the women in the room glared at him.

Hermione sighed, she couldn’t agree with George more though.

6. I'm Not the One that you Want...

Author’s Note: So, here’s a new chapter, and it didn’t take a year to post ;) I hope you enjoy it. I was torn about how to end this chapter, so let me know what you think. And I am still without a beta reader, so if I made any errors (grammar or typo) please don’t jump on me. I looked it over pretty well, but there’s always a few things that manage to slip past sometimes. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: All original characters are the creation and property of JK Rowling, and I clearly am not her. Don’t I wish…

Chapter 6 – I’m Not the One that You Want…

A knock at the door of Hermione’s office startled her from her deep concentration on the mounds of paperwork before her on her desk. After her heartbeat went back to normal, she irritably called to whomever it was to come in. The familiar face of Luna Lovegood peered around the door. Hermione bit her lip and held back a sigh of frustration. She and Luna were actually friends now, whereas at Hogwarts they were just acquaintances and allies in the DA; for the most part she had gotten past her annoyance with the girl and her sometime wild imagination, but today was not the day for her to be dealing with Luna, she had about an ounce of patience left in her.

“Hello, Hermione,” Luna said with a smile, wearing her ever present dreamy expression.

“Hey, Luna, don’t mean to be rude, but what do you have for me? I’m in a bit of a hurry.”

Luna was often a great help to Hermione, even though she didn’t always have the firmest grasp on reality, she was in fact extremely bright and often helped bring Hermione information for her cases. After Luna cared about all magical creatures, even ones that no one but her and her father had seen.

“Don’t worry, Hermione. Harry will be fine; he always somehow manages to come through everything alright. He’s like a cat in that respect,” Luna mused. Hermione blinked in surprise, slightly taken aback by Luna’s comment. Of course it made sense that Luna knew about what had happened to Harry, one of the Weasleys surely would have told her. However, it was more than slightly disconcerting how Luna had so precisely nailed what was bothering her at the moment. Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortable.

“Yes, Luna, I’m certain that your right. Everything will go back to normal.”

“Hopefully not too normal though,” amended Luna. “After all Harry finally has realized what he has been hiding all along. He was allowing his mind to be clouded for far too long. I never guessed it would take him this long to see the truth. He can be denser than a Grindylow during mating season,” Luna added, closely scrutinized Hermione’s face, observing her friend’s reaction and smiled knowingly.

“Honestly, Luna, I really don’t know what you’re going on about, Harry was planning on getting engaged to Ginny before all this happened. He never has and never will have any real interest in me. Besides Ron and are very…happy together,” Hermione replied, flushing as she struggled for that last bit. Luna just gave her a discomforting look, the one that made Hermione feel as though her mind and emotions had become an open book to her friend.

“Yes, well, I can see that you are still quite confused yourself. But I think this curse is less a curse and more a blessing to you and Harry. I really must be off, I have some research to do this afternoon, but I wanted to drop this packet of information off with you,” Luna announced, placing a heavy envelope on the top of Hermione’s rapidly growing stack of work.

“Thanks, Luna, I’ll see you around.” Hermione said managing a weak parting smile before taking a large gulp of cold coffee from a mug bearing the Gryffindor colors and logo sitting on the corner of her desk.

“See you.”

Hermione sighed as the door of her office close nosily as Luna took off. After doing a couple more hours worth of work she wearily gaze at the time being displayed on the clock that she had hung over her office door. She frowned, not realizing how late it had gotten. Ginny’s words from the other night were still eating at her. It had been quite a while since she’d seen Harry. But he must even want to see her, if even Ginny had conceded that he was missing her.

“Come on Granger, what’s the harm in visiting him?” she told herself. Besides the longer she kept away the harder it would be to work up the nerve to go.

She spent a couple minutes straightening up her desk and fussing around with some papers, making sure nothing was late, though she knew deep down that she was mostly stalling for time. Taking a deep breath she collected her things and closed the door behind her. Feeling suddenly shaky she Apparated to St. Mungo’s’.

Making her way down the hallway, she felt very much like she was going to hyperventilate at any moment, which was completely ridiculous, after all she had known Harry forever, what was there to be nervous about.

Reaching the open door of his room, she hesitantly looked around the corner, wishing with all her might that Ginny or any other member of the Weasley had not chosen this moment to visit Harry as well. Luck was with her and Harry was all alone and flipping through the Daily Prophet and looking thoroughly bored.

“Hey, Potter,” she said, a hesitant smile beginning on her lips.

Harry looked up, with an almost childlike delight suffusing his handsome features when he saw her. It made Hermione’s heart leap into her throat and feel too large in her chest.

“Well, well, it’s about bloody time you came back to see me, Hermione,” he said sitting up and putting down his paper so fast it fell to the floor with a soft thump, he attempted to look angry, but the corners of his mouth quickly twisted into a smile.

Hermione hesitantly walked up to the bed, willing her feet that felt glued to the flow, to comply. She reached out her hand and Harry gripped it tightly, his long, strong finger encircling her softer, smaller hand. Hermione felt as though she had been hit with a sudden fever, as a wave heat rushed over her at the contact of his warm hand against her skin. She desperately hoped that Harry wouldn’t take notice of the fact that she was now probably a vivid scarlet hue. Maybe the curse had rendered him color blind also, or at least less observant.

“So, um, how are you doing?” she asked lamely, unable to come with a wittier conversation starter. She was finding it hard to be coherent, let alone eloquent, at the moment.

“Not too bad, other than the fact that I feel like rubbish because I still can’t remember much of anything, and I’m stuck in this dodgy place. And apparently I’m a very important person, because if I were the Healer taking in charge of my care, I would have let myself go long ago. But they keep telling me that I’m Harry Potter, and they really can’t do that. I really don’t see what in the hell is so exciting about being Harry Potter, but I certainly won’t be forgetting my name anytime soon, that’s for sure. The point is I’m pretty sure this bloody curse isn’t going to make me spontaneously combust or anything bizarre like that, so they could release me, but won’t,” Harry replied, frowning.

Hermione choked back laughter. Poor Harry, I guess it was good that he still couldn’t remember why he was so special to the wizarding world.

“Well, what matters is you are very important to me, well that is to us, to all your friends,” Hermione said with a smile, blushing again as she tripped over her words.

“I’m sure they’ll let you out of here soon. Maybe if you’re nice to me, I’ll make a name tag for you when they let you free, just in case.”

“Yeah, while you’re at it you can make ones for all the people here that say ‘My name is: annoying prat’,” Harry joked as he grinned at her quite disarmingly, which did nothing for her nerves or her racing heart. Had his eyes always been that green? Hermione laughed nervously, brushing a strayed curl away from her face.

“Hey, Hermione? You know that Brandy?”

Hermione looked confused for a moment, “Oh, do you mean Ginny? Your girlfriend.”

“Oh, Merlin did you have to add that last bit. Yeah Ginny, well whatever her name is, she drives me to drink! That is if they’d let me drink here. I know I apparently was madly in love with her and all, but she makes me feel like rubbish whenever she visits. I barely remember anything, and she comes prancing in everyday acting like I’m going to suddenly remember her, pull her in my arms, and shag her on the bed,” he moaned, his amused expression gone.

“Well, she er loves you,” Hermione managed to get out, unable to meet his eyes.

“Lucky me,” Harry said shortly. Hermione barely managed to suppress a snort of laughter.

“Yeah, well, I’m certain things will all sort out themselves out when they figure out this ridiculous curse.” As she spoke Hermione realized with a twinge of guilt that she almost didn’t want that to happen. Even though she was with Ron, she still believed that Ginny was wrong for Harry, so utterly wrong.

She was suddenly all too aware of Harry’s gaze on her and shifted uncomfortably at the edge of the bed.

“So, I guess I should be going, Harry. It’s gotten rather late. I really hadn’t realized,” she said looking up the clock.

“Yeah, suppose you’re right,” he said, trying to disguise his disappointment.

“Hermione, are you really in love, Ron?” he asked, as she stood up and gathered her things. His surprise question stunned her, making her freeze in place. Her knees feeling shaky, she sat back down on the edge of the bed. Harry leaned closer to her, so close that she swore she could hear his heart beat.

Before she could answer his kissed her, his lips warm and insistent. And she made no move to stop him.

7. Desperate Measures

Author’s Note: First of all, I’d like to thank you all so much for your reviews!!! For that last chapter, I received by far the most reviews I ever had on any one chapter of this fic, and I was so happy! It really makes writing worth. Thank you guys for your kind words and support, along with constructive criticism. I apologize once again for my lack of beta reader, I really need to go about finding one, but I’d rather get you new chapters in the mean time until I get one, so please forgive typos here and there. I feel that I did a pretty good job with this chapter, but there are always a few mistakes that I don’t see until it’s uploaded. Thanks guys! Enjoy!!! J

Disclaimer: The usual…I’m not JK Rowling, clearly.

Chapter 7 – Desperate Measures

Hermione felt like she was in a dream, as reality was far too sweet to be real at the moment. She knew she should be protesting, that if she was a far better person she would push Harry away immediately, and perhaps slap him for added drama, but she couldn’t and really had no desire to either of these things.

The unexpected kiss had been very light at first, but as Harry sensed no resistance from Hermione, it became more forceful, certainly not in a bad way. Hermione felt as though she had turned to liquid, as her body seemed to melt against Harry. All the years she had known him, she had always privately wondered why it would be like to kiss him, to have him hold her this close. Of course he hugged her before, but she had never been pressed up against him and kissing him the way that she was now.

It was entirely indecent, since she was still dating Harry’s best friend, but her conscience seemed to be on vacation at the moment. The lack of guilt was more than slightly discomforting, but frankly she didn’t care. She kissed him back, with a passion that surprised even herself, and she felt Harry smile against her lips. Her arms seemed to loop themselves around his neck of their own accord and her fingers entwined themselves in his dark, soft hair that was unruly as ever. His long, cool fingers reverently caressed her cheek.

After some time, she regretfully pulled away from him. She could hear his slightly labored breathing which matched her own. Thankfully Harry wasn’t hooked up to any sort of monitoring equipment or they surely would have set off some alarm. She could feel the heat of gaze on her and her cheeks warming in response, but couldn’t meet his eyes. She looked down at her hands, now folded in her lap, and sighed softly. Long concealed, carefully suppressed emotions were now spilling over within her, and the feeling quite overwhelming. What surprised her the most was that she had yet to feel even the slightest twinge of remorse from her actions.

“Harry, I’m quite speechless… for once,” she whispered, her voice filled with a whole assortment of feelings, unable to anything more than utter his name. Hermione looked up her brown eyes locked with his brilliant emerald ones, causing a shiver to run up her spin.

“Hermione, I know what a prat I was to kiss you like that, but I had to do it. I had to show you how I feel. I’m sorry if I just botched this whole situation up further,” he said looking quite apologetic, but also slightly smug if she wasn’t mistaken. “After all, you’re dating my best friend, who I don’t remember but probably shouldn’t be trying to steal you from.”

“Oh, Harry, it was the both of us. I could have hexed you quite thoroughly if I wanted to you know, but I decided against it,” she told him, her lips twisting into a wry smile.

“I’m pretty glad that you didn’t choose that option. The kiss was far better.” His eyes flashed mischievously.

“It probably wasn’t the best idea though. I shouldn’t have done that. You’ll be remembering everything really soon, and I’m just probably messing with your head and emotions in ways that I shouldn’t be,” she said, looking up and catching the glare of one of the Healers walking down the halls. It was well past visiting hours, she was surprised no one had forced her out of the room. Maybe they were willing to been rules for any visitors of Harry Potter’s. She smiled ruefully to herself.

“Hermione, my head’s a mess already, what will a little extra confusion hurt, you know. I’m already nutters.”

Hermione sighed, and pressed the tips of her fingers to her temples, trying to clear her mind for a moment, trying to hold back the wave of emotion threatening to overtake her at any moment.

“I really, really have to go, Harry,” she said dully, failing to come up with a better farewell, glancing at the clock above his head. She had tried to sound nonchalant but had failed miserably. Her visit with Harry had been very good and very bad all at once. He grabbed her arm as she stood.

“You have to promise that you won’t stay away so long this time. Right now, you’re all I have. Please, don’t let what happened keep you away. I swear I won’t kiss you again,” Harry told her.

Hermione smiled, and impetuously leaned and planted a firm kiss on his mouth, feeling a sob rising in her throat as she stepped back. “Maybe it’s not yourself you should be worried about Harry,” she said with a humorless smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be here.”

“Okay,” he said simply and she could see in his face that he didn’t’ doubt her.

She grabbed her handbag and clutched it tightly, unable to turn to look at him again as she left his room. Entering the hallway she ran to the hallway, ignoring the confused and annoyed looks of people making the night rounds to check on the other patients on Harry’s floor. She had to get home and sort things out in her mind. Harry thought his mind was cluttered, hers was far worse.

Apparating the moment she got out of St. Mungo’s, she had never been more relieved to get home.

She kicked off her trainers and closed the door behind her before climbing the stairs to her room. She put her hand to her mouth, gently touching her fingertips to her lips. Harry’s kiss was still on them, as though he just kissed her a few seconds ago. Quickly she stripped off her clothes and threw on an overlarge t-shirt, before sliding under the covers of her welcoming bed. The world felt so much less complicated and confusing in the safety of her home and warm bed. She felt Crookshanks jump up on the bed beside her and his purring as he settled himself into the curve of her body. She bit her lip hard, willing back the tears that had been attempting to come ever since she bid Harry goodnight. Trying not to think of any of the night’s events, she focused on her cat’s purring and gratefully felt herself drifting asleep.

She woke long before her alarm went off or the sun had reason, not even the hazy glow of dawn had begun to light up the sky. Groaning she turned over. Sleep had been a welcome release from the workings of her mind. Now that she was awake she couldn’t block out what had happened last night forever.

At least it was a Saturday, and she didn’t have to go into work. She really couldn’t face anyone today. After last night she felt as though she had shown her whole hand, when she really didn’t know how things would work out once the curse released Harry from its hold. The Harry with a memory genuinely lover her, but what would happen when his memory returned. Would he go back to Ginny? That questioned she realized had been haunting her from the first time she had seen Harry after the curse hit him. She hated not knowing what was going to happen, she was Hermione Granger after all, wasn’t she was supposed to know everything?

Before she would have been ready to deal with the next blow to come; now she wasn’t so sure. Ron loved her, and she had once been so very certain that she loved him, but one kiss had made everything come undone. Had she been settling when she chose Ron? It sounded horrible, even just within the private confines of her mind, but there it was. She stomach twisted, she felt worse than she had after she had after riding Buckbeak the Hippogriff. How could she face Ron now?

After lay there for a time, staring out the window, she finally fell asleep again for a while, the ring of her mobile phone jarred her back awake. Frowning, she flipped open her phone to see who was calling. Her eyes were still too tired to read the glowing display on the phone.

“Hello?” she said sleepily, still only half-awake.

“Hermione! Sorry, seems like I woke you up, thought you wouldn’t be asleep anymore, you’re always awake at some crazy hour even on weekends,” Ron far too chipper voice said on the other end.

Hermione silently groaned. Of all the people she couldn’t deal with today, Ginny was number one, followed closely by Ron.

“Yes, Ronald, I was still asleep. I’ve been working quite late these past few weeks you know, I thought I deserved to sleep in,” she snapped sitting up in bed and leaning her head back against the headboard.

“Sorry, Hermione, I didn’t mean to make you go mental on me,” he said in a joking tone, but she could tell that he was hurt. Her stomach twisted queasily and she frowned, there was that elusive guilt.

“S’okay, Ron I’ve just been having a dreadful week,” she explained quickly.

“Yeah, I cottoned on to that, Hermione. Really, I’m sorry to bother you, but I need you to come over today, soon as you can. There is some news about Harry that I need to talk to you and Ginny about. The Healer called early this morning.” Hermione heart came to a screeching halt before resuming its rhythm in double time.

“Ron? Is everything okay? Why didn’t you call me sooner?!?” she demanded.

“Whoa there Hermione, I didn’t mean to panic you, everything is fine, and there are just some things the Healer needs me to discuss with you and Ginny.”

“Okay, I’ll be over as soon as I can.”

Hermione arrived at the Burrow shortly before Ginny, who came in the door only a few minutes after Hermione settled herself in a chair by the fire. At least it saved her from having to make a lot of awkward small talk with Ron. She was guessing that Ginny was the type to sleep in all the time based on her appearance. It irked her slightly that Ginny still managed to look pretty, despite the fact that she was dressed in an older jumper and jeans, her coppery hair pulled into a loose bun. The annoyance that was written across her face certainly did nothing for her looks though.

“Really, Ronald, it is 8 in the bloody morning. This better be important,” she announced as she sat on the couch across from her brother.

Ron mumbled something indistinct under his breath, and Hermione was certain she heard a nice assortment of profanity amongst his grumblings.

“I swear you have the memory of pygmy puff, Ginny. It’s something about Harry, I told you on the phone,” Ron said in irritation. He took a large bit of the piece of toast covered in jam that he had been snacking on when Hermione had first come in.

“Well, stop cramming things in your mouth and tell us what’s going on. I’ve yet to develop any clairvoyant abilities. ”

Hermione shot Ginny a malevolent look, which she pointedly ignored. Ron put down his food, looking longingly at the remaining pieces of toast on his plate.

“Well, I went to see Harry this morning, and the Healer told me they’re kind of lost as to what this curse is, but seeing as it’s been a couple weeks and Harry has yet to show any signs of having any other reactions to the curse, he figures Harry can be released.”

“But”, Ron added quickly, “He can’t go back to his flat. The Healers still don’t know how and when Harry’s memory will come back and even what will happen when it does, but he doesn’t think Harry should be alone.”

Ginny perked up considerably. “Well, he can stay with me of course. After all we were practically engaged and he was over at my house, all the time.” She smiled smugly as she added the last bit. Hermione almost expected her to clap with joy like a 5 year old getting a new dolly.

She briefly considering throwing one of Ron’s jam covered pieces of toast at Ginny but decided against it. Why stoop so low?

“Well, that was what I suggested, but they didn’t go for it, Ginny. After all to Harry you’re pretty much a stranger. They think that Harry should be with Hermione,” Ron told her.

“No!” Hermione and Ginny said in unison.

Ron and Ginny both looked at Hermione in surprise.

“What’s wrong with you, Hermione? Don’t you want to help Harry?” Ron asked in confusion.

“Yes, but…” Hermione began. “Yes, but I find Harry incredibly sexy and may not be able to keep myself from sleeping with him,” her mind finished for her. Hermione bit her lip and shifted in her seat uncomfortably.

This wasn’t going to be good.

8. If I Loved You

Author’s Note: So, I have a new chapter finished at last. I apologize for taking so long to update, but I have been busy but also searching for a beta reader, which proved to be far harder than I thought. I think I may have finally found one, but we’ll see. I edited this chapter myself, so I apologize for any mistakes but I think I did better than usual sans beta ;) I wanted to not waste anymore time about getting it up. Hope you guys enjoy it! Happy Easter! And Happy Passover! (Whatever you celebrate or don’t, enjoy the weekend)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, not mine, since I’m not JK Rowling, clearly. Just having some fun with the characters from her work!

Chapter 8 – If I Loved You

Hermione felt utterly paralyzed for a moment, her limbs unwilling to move, her lips unable to impart any sensible words or thoughts to Ron and Ginny, sitting there, one looking at her expectantly, the other regarding her suspiciously.

She blinked rapidly, her heart thumping wildly against her chest, her throat felt as though it were closing. She had never had a panic attack, but she supposed that this was something akin to what one felt like.

“Hermione? What’ll it be? Are you going to help Harry out or not?” Ron pressed, clearly growing impatient. He looked woefully at his now cold toast, his frown growing deeper. Letting good food go to waste was quite the tragedy in Ron’s opinion.

Hermione took a sip of the tea that Ron had brought her when she first got there; it was still quite hot and burned like liquid fire as it slid down her throat. At least this assault on her senses managed to snap her out of her stupor quite effectively. As she set the cup back in the saucer her violently shaking hands caused it to rattle noisily and tea to slosh on the table and her hand. She cursed softly under her breath as she hastily wiped off her hand.

“Well, the thing is Ron, I’m rather busy during the week, you know how much I’m at work, and I know that I won’t be able to keep an eye on Harry like I’ll need to. I understand that the doctor wants him with someone he remembers, but I really don’t think he should be with me,” she blurted out at last, rather proud of herself for managing to put together several coherent sentences, even if she had only managed to come up with a very week excuse at best. She shifted uneasily in her chair.

Ron’s ears turned very red, a clear sign that he was annoyed, and Ginny just gaped at her in open-mouth surprise. Clearly she had been expecting Hermione to say something more along the lines of ‘Sure he can stay with me; I’ll even share my bed with him.’

“Hermione, I can’t bloody believe you. I thought you cared about Harry! Do you want him to go completely mental? He might if he has to stay with a stranger like me or Ginny! ‘Sides he’s not a child. You don’t have to bloody babysit him all day,” Ron snapped, as the rest of his face turning the same bright cherry shade of his ears.

Hermione felt a wave of guilt and anger wave over her. Ron just always had to be overdramatic didn’t he? If only Ron knew just how much she really cared for Harry, he wouldn’t be pushing the matter; he would be doing anything his power to get Harry to stay far, far away from her.

“Oh, Ron, leave her alone. It’s not as if he’s her boyfriend. He really should stay with me, like I’ve been saying all along,” Ginny told him in a decided, if not victorious tone, chiming in at last.

He stood up, towering over his younger sister by quite a few inches. “Ginny, I went over this with you already. It’s a dreadful idea and you bloody know it. How thick can you get? Merlin, have you all gone nutters on me? Going to your flat, which I know littered with pictures of you two snogging and such is the daftest idea. I really don’t think the doctor would go for it.”

Ginny, who usually lived to defy her brother, looked surprisingly mollified.

“Fine, Ronald. He can stay with you then.”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You didn’t listen to a bloody word I said Ginny! How thick can you get?”

She shot him a withering glance, but didn’t respond immediately.

Before Ginny could, Hermione cleared her throat loudly and took a deep breath. What was the point? Harry would just have to stay with her. She frowned in annoyance as her heart lurched with nerves, but also what she knew to be excitement.

“Oh put a sock in it, the both of you! He can just stay with me okay?” The Weasleys stopped arguing and looked over at her in surprise. She quickly suppressed the twinge of guilt though.

She stood up, cleared her throat noisily, and put on her coat with a decided air. “I really have to be off to work, and I’m sure that you and Ginny do as well.”

“Oh, well okay,” was all Ron managed, still looking rather confused.

Ginny looked unhappy about the final decision but didn’t say a word in protest managing to keep any mean spirited comments to herself this once.

Hermione, having collected her things, headed for the door. “Just let me know before you bring him by okay?” she said to Ron letting the door slam begin her.

The cold morning air felt incredibly refreshing. It was going to be a long day to be sure.

That night Hermione lay on her couch in her nightgown, trying to focus the new book she just bought on her way home from work. Stopping in her favorite bookshop and browsing was always way a good way to clear her mind. She had been waiting for a call or message from Ron to let her know when he would be there with Harry, but she hadn’t heard a word since that morning.

She let out a sigh of irritation and put her book down on a nearby table where it settled with a loud thump. Her eyes were sore from looking at paperwork all day and her nerves felt quite raw. Moving over onto her side she adjusted herself into a more comfortable position among the cushions. Soon she felt her eyelids closing and didn’t have the energy to fight them, feeling her body drift off to sleep.

Several hours later a loud knock on her door jarred her awake. Sluggish from sleep and extremely annoyed, she made her way for the door. Whoever it was better have a bloody good reason for waking her up so late or they would be getting a rather large piece of her mind.

She carefully opened the door, erring on the side of caution despite her sluggish state, her fingers curling instinctively around wand. To her surprise and relief it was Ron and Harry. She had almost forgotten what she had been waiting up for in the first place. Her eyes met Ron’s and then her gaze shifted slowly over to meet Harry’s. He had his usual effect on her and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. She was suddenly keenly aware of how little her nightgown was covering and self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest.

The two came in, and Ron looked at her a bit sheepishly.

“Sorry we came so late, clearly you didn’t know we would be coming,” he frowned slightly as he seemed to have noticed for the first time what she was wearing at the moment. Blushing furiously Hermione hugged her arms closer to herself. “Anyway, they took forever about letting him out. They made him look through piles and piles of paperwork and then for security reasons they wanted us to leave late at night. It was bloody ridiculous. But here he is all yours.” He gave Harry a rather hardy slap on the shoulder. Ron’s words made Hermione’s heart give a little lurch.

Harry didn’t seem to notice Ron’s gesture; he gaze was rather disconcertingly fixed on Hermione. She shifted her weight uncomfortably between her feet, looking down at her brightly polished toes.

“Thanks, Ron. It’s fine. Glad you both got here safely,” she told him. “You can be off. I’ll get Harry settled. You’re probably both exhausted.”

Ron yawned in agreement.

“Yeah, I’ll be off. Keep me updated, Hermione. I’ll be by tomorrow to see how you two are getting on.”

He left and she heard the pop of him Apparating not long after to the door closed behind him.

She was alone with Harry. Of course she had been many times in her life, but it had never felt like this before. Before they had been just friends, now she wasn’t sure what they were. He gave her one of his endearing crooked little smiles that she hadn’t seen in years and she felt herself relax slightly. It was ridiculous to be absolutely ridiculous to be nervous around Harry.

“How are you Harry? Glad to be out of St.Mungo’s I bet?” she said unable to think of anything more than some inane small talk.

He laughed. “Glad doesn’t begin to cover it. Don’t know what they were feeding me, but I’m certain it wasn’t food.”

He quickly made himself at home and sat down on her couch and she sat next to him careful to keep a safe distance between them. She trusted Harry completely but certainly not her own mutinous body. Desperately she hoped Harry didn’t sense her inner turmoil. For Merlin’s sake she was practically panting like a dog over him.

“Want me to show you the guest room? I got it all ready for you; I bet you’re just bushed.”

“What I’m not going to be sharing your room with you?” Harry asked in innocent tone, but the corners of his mouth twitched with the smile that threatened to creep onto his lips.

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder; doing her best to look completely scandalized and laughed, feeling more relaxed at once.

“Well, now you’re quite delirious Mr. Potter, maybe you should still be at St. Mungo’s.”

“Hey! I’ll be a good little lad I promise,” he replied, getting up from the couch surprisingly fast considering his long, lanky frame.

“Well, follow me!” Hermione made her way down the familiar hallway of her flat and opened the door to the room she had set up for Harry. There was a narrow bed with a small table by it and a desk that had a couple of plants on it, but not much else. She didn’t often have guests really and hadn’t put much effort into her guest room.

Harry followed her in. “Thanks Hermione, I really appreciate this.”

She smiled, “Oh, it’s the least I can do Harry.”

He gently stroked her face with the tips of his fingers and tenderly kissed her on the forehead, sending a flood of heat through her body.

“Good night Harry,” she choked, quite certain that the bones were quite gone from her legs as she attempted to leave the room.

In the hallway she sighed heavily and leaned against the wall for a moment. This wasn’t going to be easy.

9. Looking Through You

Author’s Note: Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter. It is longer than the last chapter, which was too short for a lot of you ;) Hopefully this a bit more worth the wait. By the next chapter I hope to at last have a beta reader, so hopefully this is the last chapter you have to put up with me beta-ing for myself!

But I do want to make sure that I thank you all for your reviews, especially for that last chapter. I appreciate them all so much!!! Enjoy J

Disclaimer: Harry Potter = not mine, enough said. No infringement of any copyrights, etc. intended.

Chapter 9 – Looking Through You

Hermione sat at her desk, slumped forward with her head resting on her folded arms. Despite how horribly tired she’d been while waiting for Ron and Harry to come, after saying goodnight to Harry, she had been anything but sleepy. Now she could feel herself falling asleep right there at her desk, something Hermione Granger had never done in her whole life, whether it be at work or at school. Coming in to work a couple of hours early to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had seemed such a good idea at the time. Turning her head slowly to the side, she reached over for her coffee mug and glumly stared down into it. She had been hoping that there would be at least one sip left, but there wasn’t even a little drop left. Sighing she forced herself to sit up and reached for a stack of paper would that she really needed to look through hoping that keeping her mind busy would help her remain conscious.

A loud knock at the door of her office about half an hour later, completely ruined the forced concentration that she had managed to scrape together. She felt like smacking her head against the desk in frustration when she saw who it was at the door, Ron. Even normally she didn’t really welcome a visit from him at work, as he always talked for far too long when he came to see her, and if it was in the mornings he always set her behind and made himself late for work in the process.

“Come in,” she managed with the little enthusiasm she could muster.

Ron proved to be a bit more welcome of a sight when she noticed that he had brought her some coffee from the café around the corner nearby. Since she was currently running on only three hours of sleep at the most, caffeine in any form was a very welcome sight.

“Hey, Hermione, I didn’t expect you to be in yet. I was just going to leave this coffee waiting for you for when you came in,” he said, smiling as he set the cup down on her desk.

“Yeah, well I’ve been kind of behind, and wanted to get some paperwork done before too many people came in to the office yet,” she replied, taking a large gulp of the coffee despite the fact that it was still quite hot.

Ron took a seat in the chair in front of her desk and opened a bag, clearly from the bakery. He pulled out a muffin which he ate with his usual gusto.

Hermione felt a twinge of guilt for being annoyed with him. He was only trying to be kind to her, and he didn’t know what inner turmoil she was going through these days, although she didn’t dare tell him. Jealously had always been one of Ron’s major flaws, especially when it came to Harry. Even after all that happened their last year of Hogwarts, she still saw it in flashes every now and then and didn’t particularly feel up to dealing with a bout of his jealous right now.

“So, how’s it going with Harry?” he asked, slightly hard to understand as he spoke while finishing up the last bit of muffin.

Hermione sifted uncomfortably in her desk chair, trying to mask it as an attempt to smooth her skirt, and replied, “Oh, fine. He hasn’t even been with me a whole day yet, so I can’t see that I would have much to complain about, unless he was a sleepwalker, then I’d have something I guess. Or if he was the sort to eat all the food in the fridge and then not remember it the next morning.”

Ron laughed. “I roomed with Harry for 7 years at Hogwarts; I would’ve warned you about that if he did anything strange.”

She smiled wearily. Ron eyed her with a look of concern.

“Are you doing okay, Hermione? You’ve been looking pretty work out lately.”

“Oh, isn’t that flattering. You really shouldn’t be flirting with me at work, Ron,” she told him with a small grin creeping across her lips.

He rolled his eyes in amusement and slight annoyance and stood up, brushing muffin crumbs off his lap.

“Oh, don’t Ron, you know they make house elves clean this offices, despite my insistence that they hire a cleaning service or something to clean them instead,” she protested.

“Hermione, the house elves get paid quite well now thanks to you, or else the bloody Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures wouldn’t be using them to clean their offices,” he grumbled in annoyance.

“It hardly matters,” she sniffed.

“You’re a treat this morning, Hermione,” he told her, shaking his head. “I think I’ll be off to work. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Ron, thanks for the coffee,” she said, trying not to sound overly eager to have him go. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, and she suppressed the sudden urge to pull away, luckily he seemed not to notice.

As he made his way he bumped into Luna, who was coming to see Hermione, nearly knocking over the petite blonde.

“Oh, bloody hell! I’m sorry, Luna,” he said. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem at all Ronald,” she said with a dreamy smile looking at him with her large silvery eyes intently.

He looked relived and gently patted her shoulder. Hermione watching intently was surprised to see the usually imperturbable Luna flush delicately. “Have a good day ladies!” he said in parting. Luna stood in the doorway a moment longer, watching him go.

“Isn’t his hair just an exquisite shade of scarlet?” Luna commented as she came through the door. Hermione suppressed a laugh. Luna had the knack for making the strangest observations and such random remarks.

“Erm, yes I suppose it is Luna.”

Luna looked thoughtful for a moment but then produced a stack of papers from her messenger bag and put it down on Hermione’s desk.

“Yes, well here’s some information I found recently that I think would interest you. I just wanted to drop it off before it slipped my mind.” Luna looked around for a moment, making quite sure no one was in earshot, then leaned over the desk and whispered conspiratorially, “So, how was it?

Hermione face scrunched into a look of utter confusion. Luna really was living up to her old nickname today.

“How was what?”

“You know, sleeping with Harry?”

“Dear Merlin!” exclaimed Hermione, nearly falling off her chair. “Why on earth would think we’ve been, well you know, having sex?” the question ending in a hiss.

“Well, I heard that Harry had come to stay with you, and you two have always had an obvious attraction to each other, despite the fact that you both have always denied it. And lately you’ve looked quite tired of Ron, so I figured you two would finally act upon your feelings.”

“Luna, that’s utterly ridiculously. Honestly, I don’t know how you think up these things,” Hermione told her dismissively, trying to sound as indifferent as possible, but carefully avoiding Luan’s eyes.

Luna gave her a disbelieving look, but simply shrugged.

“Well, we shall see. Have a good day, Hermione. I’ll see you around.”

Hermione sighed. “Thanks for the info, Luna, see you.”

Luna nodded and headed out.

Hermione frowned. Was she so bloody obvious, or was Luna just strangely adept at reading her like an open book? Yes, having Harry stay with her was a fabulous idea, just fabulous.

She attacked the paper work she had been trying to get finished before the two interruptions with grime determination.

Hermione looked at her watch and blinked in surprise. It was already well past six, and only now did she realize how quiet the office had gotten all around her. Very few people were still in; most everyone had gone home to their families and a warm supper. Leaning back in her chair she stretched out her stiff legs and back muscles.

She put her desk in order at record speed, wanting to get home to make sure Harry was alright. Throwing on her coat and grabbing her bag, she quickly closed and locked her office down behind her.

The night was rather chilly but the cool air felt rather pleasant to her after being in the stuffy office all day, as she strolled down the street. She often liked to walk for a little bit before Apparating on her way home, still preferring to do things the Muggle way from time to time.

As she turned the corner, a horrible chill ran along her spine. She turned and looked over her shoulder, making certain that no one was following her. After living through some of the most dangerous eras in the Wizarding world, she was more alert to danger than some, especially at night. Her hand immediately flew to her wand, her fingers tightening around the familiar object.

She took a couple more steps but couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. It would probably be best that she Apparate home now. Before she could, a menacing figure appeared in her path. Whoever it was, they did not look they had anything but the worst intentions.

“Good evening Miss Granger,” the hooded figure said. A shaft of moonlight hit the man’s face and all she could she was the harsh glint of his teeth as his mouth twisted into a malicious smile. She could see him going to pull out his wand.

“What do you want!?!?” she demanded, trying to sound unshaken.

“How’s Mr. Potter doing? I understand that he recently had a bit of an accident?” she felt her stomach twist into a knot as she was gripped with anger and fear. This was clearly one of the people who been there when Harry been struck with a curse.

“You have no right to even speak his name, you swine,” she spat. The man let out a little snarl, and stepping forward he slapped Hermione with such force that she was knocked to ground.

Stunned but still in control of her faculties, she pointed her wand at the man and hit him with a defensive spell before he could do anything worse. She was very lucky that he had decided to simply hit her rather than using any sort of dark magic he most likely knew on her. She could feel a warm trickle of blood sliding down her chin from her split lip. Before he could collect himself, she Apparated home. In a panic she ran to her door, first making certain that no one was there waiting for her before going to open her door.

Apparently the first man had simply been a warning meant to instill fear.

She quickly unlocked the door and slammed it behind her, putting a few extra protective charms on the locks.

“Harry, Harry!” she shouted in a panic. He entered the living room, coming out from the kitchen. He looked concerned, having heard the note of alarm in her voice, his frown deepened when he saw her bloodied face.

“Bloody hell, Hermione! What happened? Are you okay?” he demanded, rushing towards her.

She threw her arms around him, giving him a rib-crushing hug. He made a noise of surprise and pain. She loosened her grip and quickly pulled away from him, giving him an apologetic look.

“Thank Merlin that you’re okay. I ran into what I’m certain was one of your attackers on the way home, and I was so worried that they had come here for you,” she explained quickly, gazing at his dear face in relief, so glad to see him standing in her living room perfectly unharmed. He was old worn clothes and he clearly hadn’t done anything with his hair after taking a shower, as it was sticking up in several places, even more than it usually did.

“No, no I’m fine. I’m so glad that you’re okay too,” he said, talking her face in hands, gently running his thumb over her split lip. She shivered with mingled pleasure and pain. Her heart was hammering so loudly in her chest that she wondered if it was audible to Harry as well.

“Yes, well, I don’t even know if you’d remember any magic. I was so afraid that you would simply be an easy target for them.”

He smiled and gently kissed her cheek before pulling away and taking out his wand. He pointed it her injured lip and softly murmured a spell that she recognized as a healing charm. She the cut on her lip stop bleeding and knit back together part way and looked at him in wonderment.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you remembered your magic?” she spluttered, completely shocked.

Harry grinned and laughed heartily. “Well, I was kind of afraid Ginny would use my magic for her own evil ends,” he told her with a straight face that held for only a moment before the smile he had been fighting won out.

“Well, I’m glad that I don’t have to spend time re-teaching you magic. You know you have always been rubbish at it,” Hermione joked, having a little fun at his expense.

“Oh, really, I find that hard to believe Miss Granger.”

They both dissolved into laughter, their eyes meeting as their laughter died.

She surprised herself and Harry by pulling him tightly against her. Her resolve from the past several weeks all completely dissolved. She couldn’t deny how powerfully she felt about him anymore. It no longer mattered to her if it meant an irreparably broken heart when Harry’s memory returned; she wanted him more than she had wanted anyone.

He broke the kiss looking down at her in concern.

“Hermione?”

The way he spoke her name held a whole host of questions in a single word.

Her answer to all of them was yes.

10. Bent Too Far

Author’s Note: Look who’s back! I’m thoroughly ashamed for taking so long with an update, I know I promised I wouldn’t be so bad again, but life got in the way. But mostly it was due to the fact that I was hit with a horrible writer’s block and searching desperately for a beta. I found one, but I think I’ve now lost them by taking so long with getting this chapter does, so please forgive the fact that I have no beta still, but I thought you’d rather have the chapter now than wait for me to search for a beta once again.

Anyway, I’ll stop babbling now! Hope this chapter was worth the wait ;)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, the original books and the characters are not mine. All are the property of J.K. Rowling. I’m just having some fun with them.

Chapter 10 – Bent Too Far

Hermione groaned, and slowly half opened one of her eyes, peering out at the time displayed on the alarm clock on her bedside table that was emitting very annoying beeps and buzzes. She sighed softly in annoyance when she saw how late it was, as she groggily attempted to turn off the alarm. Her eyelids felt inordinately heavy as they drifted closed again. Though it had been a fitful night’s rest, she would much rather be having a dreadful sleep, than be awake and have to deal with reality after the events of last night. Disappointment and hurt washed over her anew as it all came flooding back over her. In the light of morning she remembered all over again why she was alone in bed, alone as usual. Waking up she had half expected him to be in the room with her, his arms wrapped around her.

Damn Harry and his sense of honor!

They had been so close, so very close to what Luna had been predicting all along, Hermione and Harry sleeping together, but for once Harry had been the voice of reason. It wasn’t the norm for certain; it was usually her telling him that things were wrong or foolish and impetuous.

He felt too guilty about betraying the trust of best friend and girlfriend that he couldn’t even remember. In a way she was glad that things had not gone farther, Ron did not deserve to be cheated on, but in another way she was deeply sorry that nothing had happened. She put her fingertips to her lips, the feeling of Harry’s lips upon hers an all too fresh a sensation still, and a shudder of remembered pleasure when through her. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she turned on her back and stared at the ceiling, trying to clear her mind.

But he had been right, as much as she didn’t want to admit this to herself.

She got up slowly, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Slipping her feet into her slippers, she went over and began to wearily flip through her cupboard, looking for something to wear before getting in the shower. Giving it little mind, she grabbed a top and skirt and tossed them on the bed.

Hermione stepped into the shower, purposely getting in before the water was quite warmed to give her sluggish senses a jolt. Away from her bed and the numbing abilities of sleep, reality was starting to sink in and she was no longer damning Harry’s good sense last night. It would have been very wrong to sleep with him, and unfair to Harry and to Ron. And worst of all she would have been sinking further into her illusions of her and Harry being together in the end, letting herself believe her own delusions of a happy ending would cause more pain for everyone in the end.

Because he had chosen Ginny in real life hadn’t he? Not Hermione Granger.

Their love seemed to be doomed to be confined to dreams alone.

She choked back a sob and pounded her fist against the shower wall in, the tears that fell burning her checks as they slid down her face more the water of her now hot shower. For several moments she just stood there with her eyes closed, letting the water fall on her upturned face, holding back another sob rising in her throat.

Starting today she could allow nothing more between her and Harry other than friendship, she knew that know. The lines couldn’t be blurred anymore, or she wouldn’t be able to keep herself from crossing more and more that she shouldn’t. It would hurt too much if she didn’t stop this from moving forward any further, although Harry had done quite a good job of putting on the breaks.

Reluctantly she got out of the shower after several long minutes passed and mechanically stood in front of the mirror, attempting futilely to detangle all the knots that had formed in her quite curly, sometimes bushy and unruly hair. Giving up, she tied it back into a messy ponytail and went to her room to throw on the things she had set out before for work and put on a little makeup.

On the way back to her room she had heard noises in the kitchen, which meant she would have to face Harry before she went to work since he was up early too it seemed. It was probably better to face him know rather than later though and having to worry about it when she got home from work.

Taking one last look in the mirror, she gathered her courage and walked through the kitchen, pointedly avoiding looking over at Harry, who was wearing a much worn t-shirt and eating a rather burnt piece of toast as he flipped through one of the various daily papers that an owl delivered to her every morning, she had subscriptions to several. Harry with or without his memory was not a fabulous cook, despite Ginny’s tales of the romantic dinners he made them, not that Hermione had ever believed her. Hermione let out a little snort of laughter despite her melancholy mood as Harry took a large bit of an especially charred slice. Harry looked up, puzzled and gave her a weak smile, as if uncertain as to how she would react to him.

She twisted her lips into an unconvincing smile in return and went over to the counter to make some coffee, so that she wouldn’t be forced to stew over these things all day at work.

“Any interesting news?” she asked lamely, attempting to make conversation. She frowned to herself as wiped up a glob of jam that Harry had spilled on the counter.

“Not really. The attack on you made it in there, first page, just so you know,” he replied, apparently not picking up on her mood.

She groaned softly in exasperation, the news story meant she would be getting several calls of polite concern from various people that she really did not have time to deal with and who would not have bothered to pay her any mind any other day, except at the moment she was interesting enough to capture their attention.

“Um, well that’s nice,” she responded flatly, glumly watching the coffee drip down in the pot as it brewed, it’s gurgling mirroring what she was feeling in her nervous stomach.

Harry got up from the table and put a hand on her shoulder, she jumped at the unexpected contact. She cursed herself inwardly for being so strongly affected his touch still.

“Hermione, please don’t be mad at me, I –“

“Harry, really it’s fine. I’m not mad, I swear. I don’t want to talk about last night. You were right, you were the sensible one, as much as I hate to admit it, so let’s just let it go. I really can’t talk about this.” Her tone brooked no argument.

Harry wouldn’t drop it though.

“No, Hermione, I think that we really do need to talk about. I need to make you understand.”

“Really, we don’t, I understand everything just perfectly. You won’t remember this, but I was the brightest witch of my age.” she replied acidly, still refusing to turn around and look at him.

“Hermione!” He grabbed her arm, and gently, but forcefully turned her around to face him. She glared up at him out of the corner of her eyes

Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the phone in her kitchen ringing.

Puzzled as to who would be calling this early in the morning she went over to answer the one in her kitchen. Her heart was hammering as she lifted the receiver. Calls this early in the morning tended to be bad news.

“Hello?”

“Hermione? It’s Ron! I heard that there was an attack last night, and one of my co-workers called me saying that it was you, they saw it on the front page of all the papers, and I just had to make sure that you were okay and everything is fine over there,” he explained.

Hermione sighed, feeling guilty about the irritation she was feeling at the moment, when she should be thankful about his concern for her. Her stomach gave a nervous flip as she looked over at Harry, who was trying to look like he wasn’t listening into the conversation, but very clearly was.

“I’m just fine, Ron. As a matter of fact, I’m just about to leave for work. I’m really behind on paperwork and things like that, but thanks so much for calling.”

She heard him let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks goodness, Hermione, what with the nutters who attacked Harry still on the loose, you never know what could have happened to you.”

“That true, but nothing like that happened thank Merlin,” she replied stiffly, glancing over at the clock above her refrigerator.

“Well, I know you need to be off, but I wanted to check in on you, and I meant to call anyway because I wanted to invite you and Harry out tonight. I thought it would be fun. I’m inviting Luna and Ginny, and a couple other old friends, it’ll be great.”

Unable to come up with an excuse for being unable to attend Hermione heard herself agreeing to go when there was a list of several other un-enjoyable things she’d rather do running through her mind.

“Well bye Ron, have a good day, see you tonight,” she said quickly, careful to avoid eye contact with Harry, as she hung up the phone.

“Ron invited us out tonight,” she announced to Harry as she went over to grab her briefcase and put some paperwork in it that she needed for today.

“That’s nice, but I’d rather not go thanks,” Harry replied sourly, now refusing to look at her either.

“Whatever, I’ll just tell Ron you weren’t well. I’ve got to be off, I’m quite behind and Ron’s call just made me more behind schedule,” she said and quickly made her way to the door, slamming it behind her.

“Yeah, all right, Hermione, have a good day,” Harry said, not even sure that she had heard him, his lips twisting into a sad frown.

After enduring far too much unwanted attention due to the newspaper story all day long, Hermione ended up being able to get very little of what she had intended to done at work that day. If someone asked her one more time how she was doing, or about the details of the attack, she felt as though was going to hex them thoroughly.

Gathering up her papers, she groaned softly to herself as she remembered that she had agreed to go to the little gathering that Ron was having tonight. What on earth was it ever for? There was nothing to celebrate that she could think of at the moment. Taking a small mirror out of her bag, she examined her appearance and her reflection frowned back at her, she looked like rubbish but she didn’t really care.

Leaving work quickly, making sure that no one she knew spotted her, she stepped outside and Apparated to location Ron had told her they were meeting at tonight.

She re-Apparated just a few feet away from the pub, one she couldn’t remember having ever been to, and looked around to see if anyone else she knew was arriving. Not seeing anyone, probably she surmised, because she was running a bit late, she walked in from the slightly chilly air into the warmth of the pub.

“Hermione!” she heard a familiar voice shout.

She looked over to see Luna waving her over to a table. Hermione felt a wave of relief wash over her to see her when not all that many years ago it would have filed her with annoyance.

“Hey, Luna, I was worried I would be unforgivably late,” she said sliding into the chair next to her friend.

Luna took in Hermione’s appearance with her silvery gray eyes as Hermione ordered herself a drink.

“Why, did Harry finally decide to shag you when you got home from work?” Luna asked in her usual blunt fashion that never failed to take Hermione off guard, no matter how long she’d known the girl.

Hermione felt suddenly far too warm, as she was flooded with embarrassment and pain and thoroughly unnerved by Luna’s comment. It was as if she knew that it had come very close to happening.

“No, no. Why would say that, Luna? I had a lot of distractions at work today because of the attack that happened last night. I came straight here from the office,” Hermione replied, trying to sound composed, even though she was anything but.

“Oh, well, another time then,” Luna replied simply, taking a large sip of her drink. “I think Professor Trelawney would agree with my prediction.”

Hermione, who had been in the middle of taking a rather large sip of the drink she had just ordered, nearly choked.

Luna smiled very faintly, though the same dreamy expression in her eyes that was always there didn’t fade. “I was only teasing about that last bit, Hermione. I’m not very good at humor I’m afraid. For some reason no one ever seems to know when I’m joking and when I’m not.”

Hermione couldn’t help but laugh, despite the rather foul mood she had been in. Ron and Ginny appeared together at the table while she was still in the middle of her fit of giggles.

“Someone’s gotten a jump on us I see,” Ron commented as he sat down, looking over at Hermione’s half empty drink as he took a seat next to her.

“No, no, I’ve only just got here,” Hermione managed to say after a moment.

“Not sure I believe that, Hermione, but I’m glad you came out tonight, and I called this afternoon and convinced old Harry to come out too, even though he was being a bit of prat. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, eh?”

Hermione was very glad that she wasn’t drinking anything just then, hoping that the nonchalant expression she was fighting to maintain was convincing.

“Yes, isn’t that just lovely, I haven’t seen my Harry in so long it seems,” Ginny gushed, looking far too smug about it for Hermione’s liking. She was also starting to wish that she had changed clothes before coming her as she self-consciously straightened some wrinkles out of her skirt.

Before she could reply, a squeal of delight from Ginny made it all too clear that Harry had just arrived. His slightly dirty appearance attested to the fact that he’d had to use Floo powder to get there, since he probably didn’t even remember what Aparation was. She fought the urge to get up and make sure that he was alright. Sighing softly, she took a sip of her drink.

Harry took a seat next to Ron, avoiding Hermione’s gaze. She was able to take some comfort in the fact that he still seemed slightly disturbed by Ginny who had clutched onto the sleeve or his shirt and kissed him on the cheek. He looked at for a moment and then said, “Hi, Lily,” he said halfheartedly to her, pat her hand awkwardly.

Her face fell.

“Harry, my name is Ginny. Lily was your mum’s name,” she corrected him in a saccharine voice, forcing a smile to cover her obvious irritation.

Harry blinked in surprise, “My mum? I have been wondering about her. Did we have a row or something? I wondered why my parents haven’t been around to see me what with me being in St. Mungos and all.”

Hermione’s eyes widened and she glared at Ginny, trying to intimidate the foolish girl into keeping her mouth shut.

“Oh, you mum and dad died a long time ago,” Ginny told Harry matter-of-factly as she took a sip of her drink.

“Ginny, you’re such a prat, why’d you bloody have to go and tell him that,” Ron shouted, clearly as angry as Hermione was feeling about his sister’s callous behavior. Ginny colored, turning as bright red as her brother was prone too, as if suddenly being hit by the enormity of her slip of the tongue.

Harry meanwhile looked quite stunned still, Hermione’s stomach twisted as she observed pain he had been able to live without affecting him once again now.

“Do you want to go home, Harry?” she asked him softly, leaning across the table and looking him in the eyes for the first time that day.

“No, I don’t want to ruin everyone’s night. I’m fine, really, let’s just have some fun, yeah?”

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Ginny said, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“It’s fine,” he replied shortly. He turned to Ron. “So, what are we celebrating tonight anyway mate?”

“Well, Harry you couldn’t have asked that at a more perfect moment, mate. My birthday’s coming up soon, but I wanted to do something tonight that I’ve been meaning to for a long time, and if things turn out right, it will be the best present I could get.”

Everyone looked at him curiously, looking thoroughly confused about what he was on about. Suddenly he got up from her seat and Hermione felt herself begin to panic. It was suddenly all too clear to her now what he was going to do as she caught the look in his eyes.

“Hermione Granger, would you marry me?” he said as her took her hand and got to his knees.

Hermione went whiter than any ghost seen at Hogwarts and what quite certain that she was going to heave. Ginny looked quite delighted. Harry looked as ill as Hermione felt. His face was a pale shade of green.

“Ron, I-I…”

She got up from her seat and pulled him outside into the cold.

“Hermione, what’s wrong, are you okay?” he asked, looking hurt.

“Ron,” she began, her voice cracking, “I absolutely can’t marry you. I’m sorry I’m so sorry.”

He blinked looking like he’d been slapped in the face.

“But I thought that’s what you wanted. You’ve been a bit strange around me lately, and I reckoned it was because we’ve been together for so long and I haven’t proposed or anything,” he said miserably.

“No, Ron, you misunderstood I guess. I don’t know what to tell you, I’m just so thrown for a loop here” she babbled, as she had no idea what to tell him to put things right.

“No, I know Hermione. I get it, really I do. Just so you know, he loves you, but only like a sister, nothing more,” he said quietly, as he shoved his ring back in his pocket, leaving Hermione alone in the cold.

11. Broken and Mended

Author’s Note: A slightly fluffy chapter, but I wanted to give a little bit of attention to Harry’s point of view at this point. Not sure if I’m happy with the chapter, but I thought I’d post it. Once again forgive any mistakes. I looked this over several times, but I’m still without a beta reader (I give up!) so be patient with me. (At least this update is coming much sooner than you guys probably expected, eh?) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Harry Potter, the characters, the canon story, etc. do not belong to me in any way, are all the property of J.K. Rowling. Just having a bit of fun with them ;)

Chapter 11 – Broken and Mended

Harry rapped his fingers anxiously on the table, trying to surreptitiously turn around and have a peek out the window to see if Ron or Hermione were in view. He was hoping that his assumptions about what her answer to Ron’s sudden proposal would be, but was getting more and more uneasy about the whole thing by the moment. He turned around again grudgingly unable to see anything. For all he knew she could have said yes and they had taken off alone to celebrate. Frowning he took a rather too large sip of firewhiskey and began to cough as it burned his throat as it went down.

When he managed to stop coughing, he looked up and noted that Luna, the girl he apparently knew already, but just “met” again tonight was staring at him peculiarly with her large silvery grey eyes.

He gave her an awkward sort of half smile and quickly looked away, at a loss for what to say to her. To his surprise she reached across the table and patted his hand.

“You really needn’t worry, Harry. I’m quite positive that Hermione doesn’t care about Ron. She’s far more attracted to you and is in love with you. She just likes to tell herself that she loves Ron,” Luna told him in her blunt way, the expression on her uniquely pretty face not altering in the slightest despite her bold and astonishingly blunt comment.

Ginny glared at her out of the corner of her eyes. Harry wondered why Luna didn’t react, if that look had been turned on him he would be fleeing the pub about now.

“What do you know about any of this, Luna? Are you Hermione’s man stealing advisor or something now?” Ginny snapped accusingly at the younger witch.

“Actually I don’t think she requires any help. It’s awfully hard to steal something that’s already been lost,” Luna responded matter-of-factly, but serenely as always. She twirled a lock of her long blonde hair and took a sip of her drink which she had provided her own outlandish straw for.

Ginny’s frown deepened and she took a large sip of her drink before turning around to take a look out the window herself. Clearly she was nervous about the outcome as well.

They didn’t have to wait in suspense much longer though, as Ron came back inside alone, a dark look on his face. He clearly had not gotten the answer from Hermione that he wanted. Harry’s heartbeat came to a halt for a moment and then resumed at a rapid rate.

He knew that this was the wrong time to feel joy, but he had found some hope in the fact that she had refused the engagement, that she would no longer be living in her world of denial. Deep down something told him that maybe he should be feeling sorry for his best mate, but well…he didn’t. Actually he felt like celebrating. Ginny probably wouldn’t take that too well though.

The party in his head was interrupted by the sensation that someone was staring him down and he looked up hesitantly to see Ron glaring resentfully over at Harry who shifted uncomfortably in his chair. What did Ron have to be angry with him for? Honestly why did Ron and his girlfriend seem to be completely mental?

He smiled hesitantly at Ron, but the red head’s continued to silently glower over at him.

“You know guys, it getting late, and I really don’t think the Healer would like me overdoing in yet. I think I’ll just be on my way. Maybe I’ll be able to catch the Knight Bus, or get hit by it, either would be good,” Harry blabbered uneasily as he stood up and hastily shoved his arms into his coat.

“Yeah, I bet you are in hurry to get home and go to bed,” Ron muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Harry to hear.

Harry decided that it was best to just ignore that little jab especially since he had no yet be able to remember the catalogue of spells he had known at one time that he could’ve defended himself with.

“Harry, I’ve barely gotten to see you since you got out of St. Mungo’s. Please stay just a little bit longer,” Ginny complained, seeming to have forgotten her annoyance with him for the moment.

“Yes, well if I am around all these old friends for too long, there’s a possibility that I might remember everything I’ve forgotten all at once, and then my head would explode or something really horrible like that,” Harry told her attempting to look very serious about what he was saying, though it was very hard to keep a straight face as he said it. Miraculously she didn’t seem to want to argue the accuracy of this statement, as sighed and settled back her seat pouting in a rather adolescent fashion.

Harry looked away and rolled his eyes.

“Well, night guys!” he shouted as made a hasty retreat.

He sighed in relief as he stepped outside and away from the pub. Clearly he should have listened to Hermione and not come tonight. He didn’t know what Ron’s problem with him all of the sudden was but it had probably been best in the interest of self-preservation to get out of there as fast as he had.

He looked around in the darkness, unable to spot Hermione anywhere nearby. Ron clearly hadn’t taken rejection well; he just hoped that Ron had taken out more of his anger on him and not Hermione. Sighing he walked further down the street, calling her name.

Hermione was still standing outside in the cold night air, leaning against the side of a building, the hard brick wall giving her little comfort as she tried in vain to collect herself after what had just happened between Ron and her. Her ears registered the sound of Harry’s voice calling out to her, but she didn’t respond. At the moment she didn’t feel like she could form any sensible words and honestly didn’t feel like trying. She felt sick with guilt but also filled with a wonderful feeling of relief. She had known that this was coming, that it would be only right to break things off with Ron eventually, but she truly hadn’t expected it to be like this. Even if what she had been denying to herself all along and she had fallen out of love with him, she hadn’t meant to hurt him like this. However, he’d hurt her too, he’d gotten a little of his own back, that was for sure. Unintentionally he had managed to rub salt on her most vulnerable wound.

Harry turned the street corner and felt a flood of relief when finally spotted her, although he could hear her soft sobs even before she came into sight. Stopping a moment he closed his eyes as his mind was suddenly hit with an overload of images.

First he saw Hermione looking absolutely lovely at a dance at what appeared to be Hogwarts, the expression on her face as she came over to where he and Ron were standing going from one of absolute joy to sorrow after something Ron said to her. He wasn’t able to hear just what Ron had said, but it obviously hurt her quite deeply.

Next the image flashed to Hermione sitting alone, sobbing softly as little magical yellow birds circled her head. A moment later her expression went from one of sorrow to absolute rage as Ron came in the room with another girl who had clearly just been snogging. Harry saw himself beside her, trying awkwardly to comfort her.

Finally, in the most confusing flash of memories, Harry saw Ron leaving them both standing in the doorway of a tent, not responding or turning around as Hermione called for him to come back. When he disappeared Hermione threw herself into a chair, sobbing in absolutely despair. The memory Harry stood there, clearly at a loss as to how to comfort her.

But as quickly as the memories had flooded his mind they slipped away. He slowly opened his eyes and rubbed his temples feeling quite confused by what had just happened. When Hermione was less upset, he would have to tell her, but for now this could wait.

“Hermione?” he said softly as her approached her, but she didn’t look up and acknowledge his presence.

Gently he walked over and put a comforting arm around her shoulder, drawing her to him. Rather than fighting him, or pulling away as he had expected, he felt her body relax against his. Hermione clutched his coat fiercely, as if afraid that if she didn’t hold on tightly enough, he too would slip away from her and out of her life.

“Hermione, I don’t know what the real Harry with his memory and all would say to you, maybe he wasn’t as rubbish at dealing with crying girls, but I just want you to know that everything will sort itself, I swear.” He gentled patted her head, running his fingers through her hair.

A laugh, rather than a sob, shook her body. She looked up at him, her face tearstained, but smiling. “Oh, don’t worry Harry not then or now will you ever been skilled with dealing with girls,” she said, hiccupping as her sobs and the giggle mingled.

They smiled at each other and their gaze met for the first time that day.

“I don’t think it would be a stretch to guess that you don’t want to go back in there, eh Hermione?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe Ginny could give me some parting advice as good as Ronald’s,” she replied in an acid tone.

Harry looked at her in concern. He’d never heard her sound quite like this, even when she was angry with him this morning.

“What’d he say, Hermione? Do I have to hex him?”

She caught his expression as he spoke and looked away, but froze as she let his words process a moment longer.

“Hex him? Harry, do you remember magic, any spells or anything?” she asked, conveniently steering away from answering his question, but truly desirous to know if he had remembered more, after all only a few minutes previous Ginny had forced him to remember that his parents were dead. Maybe that memory had triggered something in his mind.

Harry looked at her a moment before answering. “I don’t where that came from, just slipped out. Don’t think I could hex anyone if I tried but that’s what I wanted to do.”

Hermione smiled sadly. “We’re a mess, the pair of us, aren’t we?”

“That we are, Hermione. Let’s go home then, I don’t think Ron wants me back in there either. I felt lucky that he didn’t hex me. He looked right murderous when he came back inside and looked over at me when he came back in and Ginny looked like she’d be a willing accomplice.”

“Yeah, I expected as much from Ronald. You wouldn’t remember this, but he’s always been a bit envious of you.”

“Jealous of me, what for? So far what I can remember of my life seems like rubbish. So far I know that my parents are dead, I’m a wizard who can’t remember any magic, and I’m dating a completely mental girl named Ginny instead of you.”

Hermione sighed and smiled sadly, though she couldn’t help but be touched by his words.

“Speaking of Ginny, I’m sure she’s in about the same mood as her brother so we better get out of here pretty soon. You can Apparate home with me. I’m sure you don’t remember how that feels, so I’m just warning you it’s a bit of a well, nauseating sensation before you get used to it.”

“Well, I’ve just been in St.Mungo’s for weeks eating their dodgy food, if that didn’t make ill, this sure won’t.” Hermione rolled her eyes, but a smile played across her mouth.

“All right then, just put your hand on my arm.”

His warm, large hand closed gently around her forearm, she could feel it even through the fabric of her coat, and Hermione had to wait a moment, and take a deep breath before she even thought of Apparating or she likely would have been splinched a dozen different ways. This was getting ridiculous. If Harry noticed her hesitation he didn’t say anything.

In another moment they were home, and she was never gladder to be there.

Harry followed Hermione inside after she unlocked the door and pushed it open.

Hermione walked over to the couch and plopped down wearily without even bothering to take her coat off. She closed her eyes, trying to block out thoughts of the night’s events and Ron’s final words for her. At least things were over with Ron and she didn’t have to feel so guilty all of the time.

She felt Harry sit down on the couch beside her, as the cushion sank down a little more. Tiredly she moved closer to him and tentatively rested her head against the hollow between his shoulder and his chest and made a small sound of contentment. The sound of his strong, steady heartbeat was wonderfully soporific. Harry didn’t seem to mind having her head resting on him in the slightest, as he didn’t move at all, for which she was very grateful. She needed his comforting presence more than ever tonight. Really wasn’t it always Harry picking up the pieces of the mess Ron made with her emotions. She gently kissed Harry’s cheek and settled her head back on Harry. Harry grinned and Hermione didn’t see but his cheeks flushed so bright red in would have done the Weasleys proud.

After a couple of minutes Harry could tell by her shallow breathing that she was sound asleep. Smiling, he kicked off his trainers and put his feet up on an ottoman to make himself move comfortable. Carefully he wound his arm around her waist, taking care not to wake her, and pulling her slight body closer to him. Sleep began overtaking him and he felt himself closing his own eyes and surrendering to. As he too began to drift off to sleep, he whispered, “I love you, Hermione, even if you don’t believe me,” and kissed the top of her head.

He slept far better that night than he had since the first couple nights at St. Mungo’s.

Hermione woke up still feeling quite tired. She sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. After a moment she realized she wasn’t in her bed but rather on the couch in the living room. She smiled to herself as she noted the pillow under her head and the warm blanket that Harry had covered her with.

Wearily she made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Still half asleep she bumped into a shirtless Harry who was just coming out of the bathroom having taken a shower and let out a noise of surprise. That woke her up more efficiently than if someone had slid an ice cube down her shirt.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Harry. I’m a bit of a zombie in the mornings,” she told him, unconsciously resting her hand on his bare chest as she spoke. She snatched it away as her cheeks flushed pink.

Harry grinned down at her in amusement, clearly enjoying her flustered state.

“Don’t worry about it, Hermione. That didn’t hurt at all. You should bump into me move often,” he replied, a playful twinkle in his eyes. He bit his lip to hold back a chuckle at the expression that was on her face.

She smiled back at him and his leaned down at kissed her on the forehead before taking off down the hall whistling a tune that sounded vaguely like one of the song that had been played at the Yule Ball. Hermione grabbed at the wall, as her knees buckled slightly and sighed. Did that boy know what he was doing to her?

Her plan for keeping things strictly platonic between the two of them was not looking as appealing or easy as she had initially hoped.

12. Uncomfortable Conversations

Author’s Note: So, I know this chapter took way too long for me to post (way to long being a big understatement). I apologize. Life just got away from me, and I just didn’t have the time to devote to writing this story or my others that I wanted :( But, I’m back and hopefully it won’t take years before the next, though I won’t lead anyone one and say that I’ll have chapters up super quickly all the time.

Anyways, I hope you all forgive what a long time in coming this chapter was and enjoy!

Disclaimer: As always, I must say that Harry Potter is not mine, it’s all J.K. Rowling’s. I just enjoy having fun with her characters.

Chapter 12

Hermione was sitting at her desk, trying to focus on her work when the door to her office flew open. Startled, she nearly fell back in her chair as she sent the paperwork she had been holding flying.

She shot a nasty glare up at Luna, the surprise visitor, as she put a hand to her chest, as if this motion would help steady her rapidly beating heart.

“Merlin Luna, haven’t you heard of knocking? I thought you were one or all of the Weasleys coming here to off me!”

Luna laughed, though her features remained in their usual dreamy expression that they rarely veered from.

“So, now that you’ve taken a few years off my life Luna, what was it you needed?”

Luna leisurely took a seat in the chair in front of Hermione’s desk and leaned over to sniff the plant that Hermione had on desk. She sat back up and proceeded to gaze at it thoughtful for a few moments.

“You know, I think your plant may have an infestation of Speckled Glibberts. I’ll take care of them for you because they really can cause all sorts of problems,” Luna told her, seeming to not of even heard her friend’s question.

Hermione sighed deeply and tried not to roll her eyes as Luna plucked off a leaf at examined it closely.

“Um, thanks Luna. Not to rude or anything but I really am quite busy, so what were you in such a rush to see me about?”

Luna’s face took on a semi-solemn expression as she leaned over and whispered, “I just had to know. How good is he?”

“How good is who Luna? Do you have a question about a new employee or something because I know you can’t possible asking about Harry and his abilities in the bedroom, right?” Hermione replied trying to sound unperturbed, though she knew her face was horribly betraying her as her cheeks were beginning to feel quite warm. She hoped that she was keeping her voice low as she realized the door to her office was still ajar. She most definitely did not want any of her co-workers overhearing this conversation.

Luna’s already large eyes widened slightly. “That good huh? Well, that’s what I guessed,” she commented frankly.

At that moment Hermione was incredibly grateful that she was not eating or drinking anything because she felt vaguely like she was choking anyway.

“Luna, please. We can talk about this at lunch later,” she leaned over hear desk and finished in a whisper, “Besides we haven’t been together yet, so I wouldn’t know the answer. You know what, I actually prefer we never talk about this.”

“Hmmm, that seems silly. Oh, well I can give you some pointers if you would like, if you’re nervous or something. You know you can learn a lot from the mating habits of the – “she began, but Hermione stopped her, frowning and waving her hands around while making a face of disgust to stop Luna before she gave her information that she’d want to erase from her mind immediately after hearing.

“Oh, Merlin no! I most definitely do not want to hear about any creature, real or otherwise, and its mating habits!” Hermione exclaimed, covering her ears in case Luna didn’t listen to her protestations.

Luna was still staring at her unnervingly with her large silvery eyes when she looked back up at her.

Shrugging her shoulders, Luna stood up from her chair. “Okay, Hermione if you say so. I’m sure you’ll change your mind at some point. I must be off, but I’ll see you at lunch.”

Hermione nodded weakly not certain if she had it in her to have any more conversations with Luna today.

After Luna left, she put her hands in her face and rubbed her aching temples. If only Luna knew how much she wished that had something to report to her at last, as much as she had been trying to deny it to herself. After all it seemed pretty bloody obvious to all of her friends that she was attracted to Harry in a very non platonic way.

Getting on the floor she crawled around under her desk, picking up the papers that she had dropped in reaction to Luna’s surprise visit. Sitting back down in her chair, she set about putting them back in order when her mobile phone rang.

Groaning softly to herself, she picked it up after letting it ring two more times. This was becoming a pattern. She clearly was never going to get any work done any time in the near future.

“Hello,” she answered, trying not to sound as irritated as she felt.

“Hermione?”

She frowned to herself in confusion, surprised to hear Harry’s voice on the line.

“Harry, is everything okay? How did you remember my number?” she asked quickly.

Harry chuckled.

“Hermione, I may not remember much, but I wasn’t robbed of my ability to remember how to work a phone, and you’re in my phone list, one of the few names in it I recognized.”

“Oops, sorry Harry. Did you need something?” Like you want me to come home right now so that you can kiss me senseless, her mind added oh so helpfully.

“Um, yeah, I just wanted to let you know that I wouldn’t be there when you get home from work. I’m going out to dinner with Winnie. There are some things we have to talk through. She called me crying and wailing like a banshee this afternoon, so I told her I’d go,” he replied, sounding less than pleased about the prospect of said dinner.

Hermione suppressed a giggle. “Do you mean Ginny, Harry?”

“Oh, yeah, wish I could remember that girl’s name, stupid dodgy memory.”

“Um, well good luck then,” Hermione said, trying to ignore the knot of jealousy that was twisting in the pit of her stomach despite the fact that Harry didn’t sound any happier to be going to see Ginny than she was for him to be going.

“I’m sure going to need it. I hope I’m all in one piece when I get home. You might need to wait up for me, in case I need prompt medical attention,” he told her.

She laughed.

“Sure Harry, I’ll brush up on my healing spells.”

“Good, well I’ll let you go, I’m sure you’re busy.”

“I’ll see you later tonight than, Harry. Have good time.”

“Oh, yes it will be jolly good fun for one and all,” he replied with a heavy sigh. “Bye, Hermione.”

“Bye, Harry.”

She sighed and put it back down on her desk and felt the knot is her gut twist a little tighter. It felt so silly to so nervous about Harry and Ginny’s dinner, after all the Harry without his memory couldn’t stand the girl, but the spell Ginny had once had over him was not to be underestimated, even now.

Harry stood in front of the mirror, trying in vain to get his tie straight. He hoped that once he got his memory back he would be a little more debonair than he was at this moment. Then again maybe his preparations for tonight’s dinner just weren’t going well because he really, really didn’t want to go anywhere with that crazy redhead.

Grimacing at this reflection he lifted his dark bangs and closely examined his forehead. He gently traced the lightening shape scar on his forehead with one finger. He’d noticed it after looking in a mirror for the first time after getting out of St. Mungo’s, but had figured it was a result of whatever spell had caused him to lose his memory. Lately though he wasn’t so sure. It was such a peculiar shape. Perhaps Hermione would know.

Hermione…

He took out his wallet and gently ran his fingers over the picture of himself and Hermione that he had carried around.

Merlin grant him strength for dinner with the horrifying redhead.

“Why’s he going out with Ginny?!?” Luna demanded after Hermione had filled her in on the conversation she’d had with Harry.

Hermione shrugged and looked down at her plate, moving the bit of her untouched salad around with her fork.

“Now Hermione, you’ve really got to listen to my advice, you really just need to shag Harry to sort out your feelings,” Luna advised her in a serious tone.

“Not this again, Luna. That doesn’t solve anything, it just complicates things.”

“Hmmm, sometimes yes, but it clears things up other times. Like with me and Neville.”

Hermione gazed at Luna with thinly disguised horror. She really didn’t want to be hearing any of the details about this. It was like a train wreck though, she just had to ask and find out more.

“Err, what do you mean by that?”

“Well, I kind of fancied him, and so we’d just do it and it really cleared up our feelings. I just didn’t really have attraction or chemistry like I thought.”

“But you look so…innocent,” was all Hermione could manage, Luna’s words kind of made sense though.

Luna smiled knowingly.

“So, was it like that with you and Ron?” Luna inquired.

Hermione frowned and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Um, I can’t believe I’m actually telling you this, but it was really awkward with him the few times we’ve slept together,” Hermione admitted, talking as softly as possible.

Luna gave her a puzzled look for a moment before asking, in a voice a bit too loudly for Hermione’s liking, “You mean you haven’t shagged him in years?”

Hermione flushed bright scarlet. “Yeah, it was just awful the first time, and I gave it a few more chances but it was horrible, so I told him that I felt guilty about doing because we weren’t married, and he dropped it after that. It was really bad.”

“Hmmm, I always thought Ron would be amazing in bed,” Luna commented nonchalantly. “I say give Harry a go and you’ll be really surprised.”

“Bloody hell,” was all Hermione could manage in response.

Hermione was wondering if her head was more messed up that Harry’s hexed one. Especially since she was becoming sorely tempted to follow Luna’s very bad advice.