Reaching for Normality

REACHING FOR NORMALITY

For once, things were going right.

Last year was an atrocious period of her life she’d hope never to repeat again. The prophecy Harry had told her and Ron haunted her all that year, the feeling of uselessness and inevitability hanging over her head. The ‘E’ she received on her Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL only made things worse, and what made it finally hit bottom was the Advanced Potions textbook that Harry had attained later on that year. From that point on, Hermione didn’t seem to be needed. She couldn’t help. She needed to, wanted to help as best as she could, but everybody around her seemed to had been rejecting her, making her feel inferior, suppressing her and making her feel hopeless. And even on top of all of that, Harry’s behavior and actions made her very confused.

It seemed that all fifth year, and especially immediately after it, he was becoming closer to her. Forming a tighter bond that making her feel both hopeful and scared of the implications of such a bond. But… what happened to it? Where did it go? They were questions she asked herself all last year. It seemed that the only things that seemed to drive him at all last year were that wench of a Weasley and that damned Potions book.

Frustration, feelings of inferiority, and sadness continued to grow and grow all last year inside of her until finally she had to vent it out. She didn’t regret what she did to Ron Weasley. She had to sacrifice her chance to go to the Slug Club party with Harry so she could stifle his petty whines, and what did he do? He went and started feeding off of Lavender Brown’s face. But what she did regret was the petty way she acted in return, taking Cormac to the party when she harbored absolutely nothing for him, using him only as an object to frustrate Ron and make him realize what he was doing. It was stupid of her, she knew that now.

And she knew better now, too. She knew what happened with Harry.

Harry didn’t deserve any of this. He spent the first ten years of his life under physical and emotional abuse, only to be thrust into another world where problems for him only seemed to grow. His aunt and uncle were no longer the only problem, and they alone were the sort of guardians nobody should live under. His new problem was Voldemort. A despicable being she hoped would die a horrible death. She hated him with her entire being. How could he have done such things to such an innocent boy? Why couldn’t people live him alone? Not only was a dark wizard after him, but now he had to have been betrayed from a closer source.

Ginny Weasley. The feelings of hatred she harbored for her were almost as strong in magnitude as the feelings she harbored for Harry’s aunt and uncle, and maybe even Voldemort. How could she have done what she did last year? That stupid girl lied to her when she said she was over Harry, and to finally appease her own desires, she went and started using Felix Felicis. She supposedly said it was only meant to be “one time,” but she knew that addictions to a potion don’t begin to happen until the person drinking it makes it a habit. Ginny had taken it more than once before she was addicted, that was for sure.

Her Quidditch performances last year were all due to this new-found habit of hers, and the sudden attraction Harry had founded with her was only a forced effect of the Felix Felicis. It explained everything about what happened between him and Ginny, and Ginny was the cause of it all. She had to muddy up his confused feelings of his emotions even more than they already were.

Ever since she and Harry had overheard all this when Lupin and Poppy were looking over Ginny while she was bedridden at the Burrow, only a day before Fleur and Bill’s wedding, Harry had become very drawn into himself. He had immediately rushed off to the empty field outside of the Burrow as soon as the words “Felix Felicis” came out in the open to explain the reason for Ginny’s diminishing health.

But she immediately ran after him as soon as he had done so, ignoring any warnings her mind was giving her, trying to tell her to let him go through this himself, and came down to sit by him while he was situated on the field, still and quiet.

She just sat there. She knew he noticed her, but she also knew that no words had to be said right now. She was there to comfort him, and when he’d like to talk, he would. And eventually, that’s what he did.

“How could she have done this? I trusted her,” Harry said, almost whimpering and with that strangely empty voice, tears began to come to her eyes. But she wouldn’t let them fall. This was her time to help.

“Harry, I can’t begin to tell you how angry I am at Ginny right now, but I think it’s my fault for not trying to be more suspicious last year. I should have known that something was amiss, but I was too busy being frustrated… and stupid.”

Harry replied with a small chuckle, a sad look still on his face, and then said, “Yeah, I guess we were both stupid last year. Me with that textbook, and you with…” He looked over to her with a curious look.

“…With my petty acts of frustration with Ron. I was just angry with him because he had treated me like dirt after that invitation I gave him for the party.

“I mean, Honestly! though, he’s such an ungrateful git at times. I can’t believe that some people might think we’re ever going to get together,” She finished for him, finally feeling a load off of her now that she had told Harry what was behind what she did last year. She betrayed him, too, but not to the degree that Ginny did, and now was the time to heal their bond.

Harry looked slightly surprised so he said, “So, nothing’s going between the two of you?”

She shook her head, and Harry smiled slightly, albeit with misery still written on his face.

“And you and Ginny?” She dared to ask, only to be pleased to get a shake of the head in return.

And then they returned to a comfortable silence. Both of them knew that they could get past this, as long as they were together.

Ever since then, they were closer. The bond they had, the unbelievably strong connection that they began to form during fifth year, returned in full strength. Even during the horcrux hunt, she and Harry were the masterminds of all their searches and efforts. They were the two who stretched themselves to exhaustion looking over books and scrolls, finding any clue they could use to look for and destroy the horcruxes.

But it thankfully all paid off.

*

She sighed and looked over to Harry, who was draped over on a sleeping bag, eyes closed and off in a state of slumber. His still figure and sad demeanor made her heart break. Even in sleep, he couldn’t find the peace and happiness he deserved.

They were in a dark and ominous cave, up in the Cambrian Mountains. After a frantic search through tomes in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts Library, and through letters and diaries that Dumbledore had left for them in his will, they finally pieced together that Voldemort’s past had a strange connection to these mountains, and that there was rumored to be a strongly-enchanted cavern high up here.

They had just stumbled across the path yesterday, a path leading straight into the mountain near the top of the mountain. The path lacked a ceiling, the sky freely open to them as they had followed the path and eventually found this cave. As soon as morning came, they all planned to go out and search on farther ahead to see if they could find this cavern, and hopefully find the horcrux hidden there.

Looking at Harry again, she could still not believe how much in love she was with him. The more-than-friendship feelings she had for him began to form near the end of third year, and eventually became solidified at the end of fourth year, when she was so close to losing him. That’s when she realized the depth of her love for him. That’s when she realized the importance of the part he played in her life. Their dreaded sixth year, however, were when her hopes, hopes so well build up after fifth year, came crashing down.

But this year, things were going right for once.

She knew that she couldn’t live without him. That’s for sure now. They were too intertwined in each other’s fates. If he were to die, she was sure that there’d be nothing left for her to look forward to in life. Harry was the reason for her existence; without him, she’d still be trapped in the worlds and realms of her books. She would still be without friends and without any dreams. Because she thought then, before she met him, that it was foolish to consider that anyone would ever want to associate with such a bossy, stubborn bookworm like her, let alone like her more than a friend would.

But with Harry, she finally realized that there was something to look forward to. She could look forward to spending her life with him. Harry, who was such an intense, silent, uncertain, young man. The boy who saved her life in first year, from the troll that came across her while she was in the washroom at Hogwarts. The boy who did so much for her throughout her life. And she knew. She knew she had the power to help him, like he did for her, by giving him the happiness he never had, and if they survived Voldemort, she vowed that she would, inconsiderate of whatever position she had in his life.

Voldemort. She hated him for what he had done to Harry last year. It seemed as if he had stopped his assaults on Harry’s mind all last year, but that had turned out to be completely false, like a lot of things were last year. Voldemort decided against taking the route he had in fifth year, strongly assaulting him from time to time with visions and dreams, and instead chose to do so at a more gradual and passive pace. The result was the strange, arrogant behavior he began to have.

And that was also the reason for his oppressed magic. She knew she should have been suspicious for the way he couldn’t get non-verbal magic, and how weak he was with his other spellcasting. A witch or wizard’s body is filled with magic, and that magic, in times of needs when other magic assaults the body, works itself to defend the body from harm. That was what happened to Harry last year. The magic inside of him was trying to defend him from both the effects of Felix Felicis and Voldemort’s steady assaults to his mind. It oppressed all his other magic and now Harry was having strange surges of magic and power he’s never had before.

It seemed as if the negative things from last year might still be the reason for a thankful asset this year. The magic that was working to defend his mind subconsciously from Voldemort ended up building Harry’s defenses so now he no longer needed Occulmency. His body subconsciously learned it. And now, Harry’s magic was more powerful than ever as it began to heal.

And once again, she began to realize the immense stupidity of Ginny Weasley. By trying to serve her own greed, she had possibly destroyed the Wizarding World’s only chance. After the wedding at the Burrow, Ginny had finally awoken two weeks later, still looking as if she had aged a decade or two, but when she realized that the secret of her deceptions were out, she immediately trapped herself in her room and refused to talk to anyone.

To Harry and her, though, this particular decision on Ginny’s part was cause for a great deal of relief. They were unsure about how the either of them would act when they would finally talk to her about what happened, but she knew that Harry would probably end up forgiving her. It was in his nature to, but she was not as generous. She would make Ginny pay; she was sure of that.

But, thankfully, that was all behind them now. They were getting closer and closer to the possibility of destroying Voldemort once and for all.

*

She used to be quite sure that she could never be angrier and more hateful of Voldemort than she was. But she was wrong. Very wrong. It had turned out that the final horcrux, the last one they had to destroy, was Harry’s scar itself.

She should have known, and she might even have had suspicions, but she had always oppressed any thoughts of it, any assumptions. She never could imagine Harry ever having lived with such a despicable and abysmally revolting piece of a soul, and the fact he had made her want to cry. Because she knew that they would have to destroy it, like any other horcrux.

At first, she was very close to wanting to just trap herself in a room and cry until she starved to death. She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to. She couldn’t live without him. But, eventually, the logic in her brain kicked in. She realized that this is the time she should be more helpful, more caring to Harry, even if it was to help him embrace the possibility of his death so he could save everyone else.

He might have been saving everyone else, but he’d be failing her. But she didn’t blame him. She never could blame him for anything. Not with the sort of pain he’s gone through and is still going through right now.

*

She was the first to figure it out. The possible way to separate the soul piece in Harry’s scar from Harry himself without having him to die; but the thought of it made her shudder and remember the memories from such a place.

And that was way they were there: in the Ministry of Magic.

It seemed tragically ironic that their journey might end here, where it truly started.

But she mustn’t think that. She mustn’t have such thoughts in her head.

Harry was standing in front of the veil, only his wand in his hand and a black cloak around his shoulders. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling at such a sight. This might be the last time she’d see him, and so she made a decision which might change her life for better or worse.

If this could be the last time they’d look upon each other, see each other’s faces, she had to tell him. It was undeniable that he would pass on without knowing how much love there was out there for him, in the shape of her heart.

And with that thought in mind, she came up to him slowly but with a decisive air, and touched his shoulder gently. He turned around, a frown on his face that only seemed to become more defined as he took his hand and started rubbing away the tears on her face.

“Hermione.” That simple word, her name, spoken out loud, made her breath quicken. She could feel the raw emotion inside of it, could feel the compassion he felt for her, and she realized she never had to doubt it before.

He felt the same way.

Ignoring the fact that several members of the Order, and Ron, was around them, she let logic and reason go to the wind and snaked her arms around his waist as she slowly tip-toed up so she could join her lips with his, smiling as she found Harry doing the same, his hands coming to rest behind her neck.

And when their lips met, it was euphoria. It was heaven. Nirvana. It was every good and happy feeling all wrapped and intertwined in one. This was the purpose of her meeting Harry, helping Harry, and becoming closer to Harry. This was the resolving and dismissing of every doubt that the either of them might felt. This was completion in every form. They both knew that there was something to come back for.

The kiss they shared was soft yet fervent, gentle yet passionate. It held the promise of future kisses like these, but also held the doubt that this might be the last, and so they continued to kiss like that for what seemed like hours.

And when their lips came apart, the feeling of dread and anxiety came back. But now, there was another feeling inside of her. Love. And she knew. She knew he knew that he wasn’t going to go kill Voldemort for the Wizarding World. He was going to kill him for her.

And inevitably, “I love you.” His voice was a whisper, yet held the tone of a heralding cry.

She smiled, her breath coming out in short strong gasps. She knew she shouldn’t feel this happy, but she did. And she knew exactly what to say in return.

“I know, of course.” And she did. The two of them always could tell what the other was thinking, and this was no different. And the smile that came on his face was worth a thousand proclamations of love. She found her soul mate; no more doubts were between them of that. “I love you too.”

When they came apart, she couldn’t help but notice Ron’s grin, and the knowing looks on some of the other faces. Ron was the only person she told of her feelings for Harry, while they were in the hospital wing last year, and she knew that he undoubtedly approved.

Even amongst such evil, she realized, happiness could be felt. And she hoped that after that evil was gone, the immense and endless happiness she felt would still be there.

*

But she found out that there was no reason to doubt, just like there was no reason to doubt before. The minute he came out of the veil, intact yet looking weak, as if he had run a marathon, she immediately lunged for him before anyone else could even move a muscle. Her arms came around him, and held him before he could fall from his failing strength. And when he saw her he smiled. Such a sight made herself want to move mountains so she can always make him feel happy. Sobbing freely, her arms around his waist, she said, “You’ve come back.”

And he weakly replied, “I promised.” She knew he really never said so in words, but understood all the same as she beamed at him brightly and helped him walk over to the others, knowing there was still work to do.

“It’s done? The horcruxes are gone?” Ron asked with obvious relief in his voice. And Harry and Hermione both said in unison, “Yes.” The grins that came on their faces and the others made her want to simply cry out in the heavens about how happy she was, but it’s too early for that. One more task awaited them, she reminded herself.

And she knew that Harry would not be alone for that.

Author’s Note:

For anyone who’s wondering, I am still working on Harry Potter and the Blossoming of Fates, so don’t worry! I haven’t abandoned it, and I hopefully won’t in the future. It’s just that Deathly Shallow has left a bad taste in my mouth that I’ve yet to clean out, and I felt that this Post-HBP one-shot was a good way to make things right. I am also working on another Post-HBP fic (a novella) called Finding the Path, which will be my personal depiction of the Harry-Hermione relationship after HBP – it’ll be definitely much more defined and adventurous than this fic and I hope that it’ll please all of you as much as it is pleasing me to write it. I’m probably not posting that until it’s all completed and completely edited, so look forward for that in the next few weeks.

I sincerely hope that this fic wasn’t too OOC, or too cheesy. It was just one of those moments of inspiration where I just had to write this down. I wanted to give Harry and Hermione the justice they deserve, and I hope that that goal carried across well with the story. If it’s well-liked, I might even consider writing a sequel, but I think I wrapped this up quite nicely as it is.

I also suggest that anyone who was as disgusted as I was by JKR’s latest attempt at writing an ending to the HP series (which she obviously dreadfully failed) to go and check out the Rewrite Project I’m a part of – we’re trying our best to create a to-canon ending to the HP series that all of us, especially us Harmonians, can treasure.

So, until next time,
Alexius