Fixing Yesterday's Mistakes

Lady Starlight

Rating: PG
Genres: Drama, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 10/09/2007
Last Updated: 10/09/2007
Status: paused

Sometimes we are given a new chance to make things right. Post-DH, ignoring epilogue. Written for the hhr_las LJ comm. Prompt: “The way it should have been.”

Chapters

1. Starting Anew

1. Starting Anew

Disclaimer: No money is being collected, no infringement intended upon the creative property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, or Warner Brothers. Also, I really don’t think JKR would write something like this.

A/N: I am indebted to my beta, Anndee Granger, whose criticisms have only helped me improve.

This fic tied for first place with kyc639 in Session 2, Round 1 over at the hhr_las LJ community.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been only one year since the tragedy of the war. Voldemort had been defeated, but the cost had been high. One could point out that loss of life was minimal, but as Harry Potter sat on the floor of the playroom with his godson Teddy, he could not help but ponder on how life can come full circle. Even though he knew precious little about childrearing, he had insisted on taking guardianship of Teddy, as he knew that Sirius would have done for him when war had taken his own parents. Hermione helped him with everything, as she had always done. She researched childrearing, and helped him shop for everything he needed for his little godson. And if he had a tendency to spoil the boy, Hermione did not say much, only smiling before looking away to hide a more unhappy expression. He was glad for the time that he spent with Hermione, for he was alone for the rest of it. Hermione was the closest thing to a mother that the boy had right now.

Mrs. Weasley tried to help, but more and more, Harry found her overbearing and just wanting to do things for herself, not trusting that a man could take care of a child. Andromeda Tonks was always happy to care for her grandson, especially when Harry needed a break, but she respected her daughter’s decision of a guardian.

Ginny had not been so happy with her conquering hero. She was not ready for the moodiness and his unwillingness to talk about what he had been through while they were apart. The time spent alone with Hermione was another sore point between them, as Ginny could not believe that nothing had happened and kept insisting that he tell her the “truth”.

The little boy pushed over the pile of blocks that Harry had been building, distracting him from his ruminations, and let out a shriek of glee at the noise and mess.

“What do you think that you are doing, little bear?” Harry asked with mock severity. He snatched Teddy up and rolled onto his back to hold the boy in the air above him. His godson giggled as tossed him gently into the air before catching him again, only to do it again.

A soft, almost indiscernible <I>crack</I> came from downstairs and Harry was quickly on his feet with his wand out. He silenced Teddy for expediency’s sake and quietly crept towards the stair well, keeping the boy behind him.

“Harry! Harry, are you there?” a very familiar voice rang out and Harry sighed with relief before removing the charm from Teddy and carrying him down to Hermione.

“Hermy!” the boy yelled as he reached for her.

Harry was only too glad to hand him over as he calmed his shaking hands and steadied his racing heart.

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” said Hermione, reaching to put one hand on his arm. Teddy was held firmly in the other arm as was attacking her unruly hair, one of his favorite pastimes. “I would have Flooed ahead, but I just had to see you and wasn’t thinking much beyond that.”

“What’s wrong, Hermione?” Harry questioned. He searched the brown eyes that he knew so well for some hint, but she was holding her secrets close.

“Not now, Harry. It’s enough that I’m here. Plus, isn’t it almost someone’s naptime?” The last was cooed to the little boy in her arms as she gently extricated her hair from his grasping fingers.

Hermione had unconsciously started rocking back and forth as she always did when she was holding Teddy and Harry just took a moment to watch her, loving the sight before him. She was so good with his godson, giving Harry the confidence that he so desperately needed.

“Harry, I’m going to go rock him for a little bit. Would you mind making some tea and I’ll be down shortly?” Not waiting for an answer, Hermione sauntered off, talking to Teddy about the different kinds of dragons and promising to read him some of his book about Andy the Antipodean Opaleye.

Harry just stood there as she walked away, transfixed for a moment, before shaking himself out of it and heading to the kitchen.

A short while later, she came down with a wisp of a smile on her face before sinking into her favorite chair. She had one just like it at her flat as well and when Hermione wasn’t at Harry’s house, no one else was allowed to sit in it. She took a sip of the tea and closed her eyes, just reveling in the quiet moment.

“Thank you, Harry, I needed this. I always feel so much better when I spend time with you and Teddy.”

“What’s up, Hermione?” questioned Harry as he placed his own cup down.

“I…” Hermione grabbed a scone and started picking at it. “Ron’s started dating.”

“But you guys have been broken up for awhile, I mean… How are you feeling about this?” Harry cursed his insensitivity, but his heart had jumped at her words.

“I….I don’t know. He’s with Luna and they seem rather perfect for each other…in a decidedly bizarre fashion. She makes him happy. It’s good to see him happy. It’s been too long, for all of us.” She put the scone back on the tray, not having eaten a bite, before picking her cup back up and taking a couple more small sips while Harry waited expectantly.

“And…?” inquired Harry, still waiting for Hermione to elaborate more.

“And what, Harry? That’s all there is to say. Honestly, he’s happy and I’m…I’m fine.” Hermione did not meet Harry’s eyes and her words had a rote sound to them.

Harry edged himself closer to her, but she pretended not to notice as she stared out the window at the expansive backyard. “Something’s bugging you, Hermione. You can’t lie to me. Are you happy for him?”

Setting her cup down, Hermione turned to look at him, before picking her cup back up again as if she needed something to do with her hands. “I am happy for him. He and I never made each other happy, things were at best okay and at worst…well, you saw enough of that to know. It’s better this way. After all, he can’t pick a fight about little things with Luna, she’ll just ignore him.” Hermione laughed a little, before continuing, “It just makes me feel—alone.”

Harry had listened to her ramblings carefully, and her last words struck something in him. They had all taken to grasping at whatever happiness they could find these days, trying to make things better, trying to suppress the nightmares of what had happened, trying just about anything to feel good. He was not sure what she wanted, but he was desperate to help her, to see her smile; just having her around made him feel better, and so maybe these feelings were derived from some selfish desire as well.

“I think you should move in here,” Harry blurted out. “I mean…Teddy would really like more time with you, you’re practically his mum after all, and I worry about you in that flat all alone. You could practice magic here too; you wouldn’t have to hide it from your Muggle neighbors. And you already have your own room here, it wouldn’t take much to add an office to it. Teddy and I would make sure to be quiet while you’re working…”

Harry trailed off, wanting to drop his head into his hands and groan. He could not meet Hermione’s eyes as he was too busy berating himself for letting all of that out. At least he hadn’t told her how much he wanted her around, wanted to spend more time with her and maybe, if he admitted it to himself—which of course he wouldn’t—that he wanted something more from her than just her presence.

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione breathed out, and he looked up to see her eyes bright and a huge smile on her face as she sat down right next to him on the loveseat. “It’s not a bad idea at all. I’m here a lot anyways, especially when you’re off training. It would be nice to have someone to cook for, because I know you don’t make much beyond baby food when I’m not around,” she paused to look at him sternly. “I’ll think about it, Harry, ok?”

Harry could hardly keep from grinning at thought of having her in the same house as him. He did not know why he was so attached to the idea, but he certainly missed her whenever she had to go back to her own flat.

Jumping up from the couch, Harry said, “Since I seem to be incapable of feeding myself, how about I go run out and get some groceries and we can cook dinner tonight while you think about it, ok?”

“Sure, I’ll stay here with Teddy to see what you come up with,” replied Hermione.

Harry Apparated out without a sound and Hermione sat there on the couch, grinning.

“I don’t think you have any clue what you’re getting into, Harry Potter,” she mused and then headed up to her room to make plans in case she decided to take him up on his offer.

~~~~~

After a supper of chicken, roast potatoes and a salad—with little bits of chicken, potato and carrots for Teddy—the three of them were upstairs giving Teddy a bath before bedtime.

“So, Teddy,” Harry began slyly, “do you think that Hermione should come and live with us?”

“Harry!” admonished Hermione.

“Hermy be here?” asked the little boy, looking up to Hermione with big, innocent eyes.

Hermione looked back and forth at Harry and Teddy, a helpless expression on her face. She sighed, but then grinned at Harry. “Ok, I’ll stay, but I think there’s going to need to be some changes in the way some things are done around here.”

“Anything, Hermione,” Harry answered, not caring what she demanded, as long as she was around. He didn’t know what he would do if she had said no. He didn’t know why he suddenly needed her so much, but decided to figure that out later.

“I’ll stay in my room here tonight, and you can help me move my things over a couple days from now, Harry. Tomorrow simply won’t work.” Gathering Teddy out of the tub, Hermione stood and started out of the bathroom door. “Well, aren’t you coming, Harry? We have a lot to get figured out.”

Harry started, realizing that he was still kneeling next to the tub. He came to stand next to her. “So, you’re staying, for good?”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of me now, Harry,” she teased, noting how close he was.

“I don’t want to get rid of you,” whispered Harry, so close that her hair fluttered with his breath. “I want you here with m—us. I want--. Bloody hell!”

Harry jumped backwards, having just been sprayed by his godson, who was giggling at the commotion he caused.

Hermione quickly covered him up, but the damage was already done. “I’ll get him ready for bed, Harry, so you can change. We’ll move my stuff the day after tomorrow, ok?

“Ok, Hermione,” replied Harry, as he headed to his room, while Hermione took Teddy to the nursery, humming off-key on her way. He tried to push aside thoughts of what could be, content to just have her around. He didn’t know where all this was coming from or why he needed her so much. “She’s here,” he muttered to himself, “and that’s all that matters right now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued…