One Small Problem

Darkstar

Rating: PG13
Genres: Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 26/07/2003
Last Updated: 26/07/2003
Status: completed

When Harry is accidentally shrunk by an errant spell, and only Hermione knows about it, many strange things could happen. And unfortunately for our poor hero, many strange things do.

Chapters

1. One Small Problem

1. One Small Problem

A/N: I wrote this for a challenge here at PK. This was actually my first public attempt at writing. I’m bored today, so I figured I might as well post the darn thing. Here are the requirements:

Harry is doing shrinking charms, but accidentally shrinks himself down to an inch in height, and its up to Hermione to keep him safe from the untold dangers that Hogwarts has to the vertically challenged, cause when your that small even a run in with a bug can be life threatening. (a mosquito could suck you dry at this size) Hermione must also keep him hidden to preserve his pride.

1. He must be taken to class, which ones I don’t care, use your best discretion.
2. when your that small being put in a book bag is a bad thing, you could easily be crushed.
3. Hermione must keep him with her, unless he gets lost and that’s part of the story, use your best discretion.
4. rating pg-13 and above, anything less it wouldn't be as funny.

Well, here we go.

It was April. Harry Potter was in his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Earlier in the year, he had finally decided that he needed to work harder at his school work, as he found his marks depressingly low. The idea that Voldemort, the enemy of all wizard-kind and the most powerful Dark Wizard in centuries, was out there and gaining in strength, also gave Harry reason to study. Voldemort would no doubt attempt to kill Harry again, and next time, Harry meant to be ready.

Unfortunately, his current course was steering him away from the subject area he would like to be studying in, as the OWLs were in June. He still had not mastered the Shrinking Charm that Professor Flitwick, who looked mysteriously like Wicket from Return of the Jedi, had assigned them. One of his two best friends, Hermione Granger, who was the smartest girl or boy in his year, was trying to help him.

“It’s really quite simple, Harry, I can’t for the life of me understand why you’re having trouble, maybe if you learned the theory behind them you’d have an easier time. I have a book upstairs in the dormitory that might…”

Harry slowly turned his head towards her and fixed her with an look that clearly meant “You have got to be kidding.” She stopped speaking, and slowly blushed, turning her face away.

Harry tried it again, but the book he was attempting to shrink refused to do anything at all. He sighed.

“Maybe we should try this again in the morning,” he said, “I’m really starting to get tired.”

Hermione pursed her lips. “Oh, all right, I suppose. But…just one more try, OK? For me?” she asked sweetly, batting her eyelids at Harry.

He froze. He felt as if she had put him in the Full Body-Bind. “Bloody… Hermione, what the hell was that?”

She blushed again, grinning at him. “Just…try it, OK?”

He sighed and pointed his wand at the book. This time, though, a small spark shot from his wand. Hermione squealed excitedly, thinking he’d finally done it. That was the problem. The spark hit the book, and shuddered for a moment, then blasted back at Harry. In the blink of an eye, he disappeared.

Hermione shrieked. “Omigod, Harry, what happened?” She ran over to where he was standing, and looked about, but he was no where to be found. “Oh, no, Harry. What, what have I done?”

She was about to burst into tears when she heard a small voice.

“Er, Hermione? I think something went wrong, seeing as how you’ve suddenly become a 60 foot tall colossus. And everything in the room is gigantic.”

She looked around for the source of the voice.

“Look down, Hermione. Way down.”

She looked down at her feet. Standing there, in miniature, was Harry. There was no mistaking that mop of black hair.

“Omigod, Harry!” She sat down in front of him. “You’re, you’re so small!”

“Thanks, Hermione, don’t go telling the other guys that.”

She blinked, then realized what he was referring to. “Oh, Harry cut that out. You know that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, you’re…an inch tall. You Shrinking Charm must have backfired or something.”

“I guess so. Er, any idea why?”

“No, I mean, you hit the book…” She grabbed it off the table.

It read on the cover, The Reflecting Book of Reflexive Charms.

“Oh, bloody hell,” she muttered, “it figures I would have used a reflecting book.”

She mulled over the crisis, considering her options. She wasn’t sure how to undo a Shrinking Charm, and considering that it had been a rebounded charm only complicated matters. She supposed that going to Professor Flitwick for help or Professor Dumbeldore, but how to get to either of them without letting the whole school know that Harry had been shrunk?

“Er, Hermione, what are we going to do about me?” asked Harry.

She started, as if she had forgotten he was there. “Erm, I’m not sure, Harry. We won’t be able to do anything until tomorrow, at least, though.”

Harry’s face fell, though it was hard interpreting facial features when he was so small. “Well, alright, then. I’ll just head up to the dormitory, then.”

Hermione stopped him with her hand. “Oh no, you don’t,” she said, “I’m not carrying you up into the boys’ dormitory; it’ll be like all their fantasies come true, and you know it!”

It was true, of course. Hermione had…well grown over the summer for lack of a better word. It was a well known fact that many of the Gryffindor boys secretly pined after her, seeing as how there were only two Patil twins to go after. Hermione stealthily entering their sleeping quarters at night would seem almost too good to be true.

“Erm, perhaps you’re right,” said Harry sullenly. “Then where am I supposed to go?”

Hermione grimaced. “Erm, I’ll just…take you up to my room,” she said quickly.

Harry nearly fainted. “WHAT! You cannot possible be serious.”

Hermione blushed, and grabbed Harry up, holding him in front of her face. “Well, I think that is the best option. I’ll just…erm, keep you out of sight. And make sure you be quiet. I won’t be able to talk to you. Parvati and Lavender stay up late talking about…” Her cheeks reddened even more. With that, she stood, collected her things haphazardly with one hand and headed up the stairs.

“Er, Hermione,” gasped Harry, “could you not squeeze me so hard?”

“Oops, sorry.” She loosened her grip on him.

“While I appreciate the fact that you’re not afraid of physical contact, I’m going to have to ask you to slow down a bit, Hermione. Honestly, what would your mother say if she knew about this?”

Hermione put her other hand to her mouth to keep herself from laughing. She peered down at him. “Now you stop that, Harry, or I’ll throw you in my trunk and forget about you. Where are you hearing that sort of nonsense?”

She entered her room quietly. There were soft murmurs coming from one corner. True to her word, her roommates were gossiping up a storm. She set Harry on the nightstand next to her bed. Rummaging in her trunk, she found some small bits of cloth Harry could use.

“Sorry, but this is the best I can do,” she whispered.

Harry nodded and lay down in a corner out of the way so that no one would see him lest they were looking for him.

She turned back to Harry. “Now, I’m going to sleep, and I suggest you do the same. No peeking,” she ordered.

Harry decided it was best to obey, or else she might have Crookshanks, her cat who now looked gargantuan, to eat him. Still he found it hard to imagine her peeling her clothes off slowly…slowly…

He shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? This was Hermione for Merlin’s sake. He couldn’t think like that. But you’re in the girl’s dorm, Harry, came a voice from inside his head, An unprecedented opportunity.

“Oh, shut it,” he whispered, and closed his eyes.

The next day, Harry woke with a start. Maybe it had all been a bad dream. His immediate surroundings, however, did not affirm that hope. He was lying on top of Hermione’s nightstand. She was still sleeping soundly.

“Well, at least she doesn’t drool or anything,” he murmured, surveying her.

He checked his surroundings again. Parvati and Lavender were also sleeping. Harry tried to figure out a way to wake Hermione without alerting either of the other girls to his presence. This would prove difficult.

First, he tried to shoot a jet of water at Hermione with his wand, but it barely even reached her bed. To him, the spray seemed to be about 30 feet long, but when you’re that short, it’s really only about 3 feet. He next tried to hit her with a Tickling Charm. That didn’t work too well, either. With his reduced size, he thought it was probably akin to a mosquito landing on her cheek. She swatted at the spot where he had hit her.

Then, his solution presented itself. Crookshanks appeared on top of the nightstand. Harry thanked Merlin that Crookshanks wasn’t stupid enough to try and eat him.

“Crookshanks! Wake Hermione!” he called to the cat.

Crookshanks studied him for a moment, then leapt onto Hermione’s belly.

“Oopmh!” She sat up with a start. “What are you doing, you silly cat?” She wrapped him up, but he started mewing and pointing his paw at the nightstand. She looked over.

“Morning, Hermione,” said Harry pleasantly. She scowled for a moment.

“You set my own cat on me?”

“Well, I wanted to wake you up so you could take me to Dumbledore, or Flitwick, or whoever can change me back. Preferably as soon as possible.”

“Oh, all right, Harry. Just let me get dressed. No…”

“Peeking, I know.” He turned away and shut his eyes. He could hear her whistling off-key as she presumably pulled her robes on.

She grabbed him up. “Alright, now listen. I’m going to stick you in my book bag and head down to the Great Hall. Hopefully, Professor Dumbledore will be there and we can sort this all out.”

He nodded. She stuffed him in amongst a couple smaller books. He tried to get comfortable, but the bag suddenly rocked and he was thrown off his feet. He soon found himself stuck between two books in the bottom of her bag. He was jostled around. He tried to imagine where Hermione was right now, and he guessed she was going down the stairs. After another few minutes which seemed like hours, the bag finally landed with a hard thud. The top opened up and Hermione’s hand appeared, rummaging through.

“Oh, drat, where has he gotten to?” She finally grasped him and pulled him up surreptitiously. “Are you OK, Harry,” she asked.

Harry looked at her through broken glasses, his robes very disheveled looking. “Ooh…Never make me do that again, please. I beg you.”

“I…I’m sorry, Harry, I didn’t think it would be that bad. Well, come on.”

She grabbed him up and carried him up to the head table. There was only one problem. Neither Professor Dumbledore not Professor Flitwick were present. She tentatively approached Professor McGonagall. “Er, Professor, I need to see Professor Dumbledore. Or Professor Flitwick.”

Professor McGonagall looked at her. “I’m afraid you can see neither, Ms. Granger. Both have come down with some kind of sickness. Madame Pomfrey believes it’s food poisoning associated with airplane fish. They should be well by tomorrow.”

Hermione gasped. This was not looking good. She muttered a thank you and headed back to the table. She sat down with a heavy sigh.

“Something the matter, ‘Mione?” asked a male voice. Ron plopped down beside her and immediately began eating.

She looked at him crossly. “I told you not to call me that. It sounds so…undignified.”

“Are you telling me you don’t know anything about being in an undignified position?” he asked with a grin.

Her face became flushed. “Ron Weasley! How dare you insinuate such a thing!”

When she realized that everyone was staring at her, she sat down meekly.

Ron quickly changed the subject. “Anyways, have you seen Harry? He didn’t come up to sleep last night, so I guess you and he crashed out after…studying last night.” His eyebrows raised suggestively.

She stared daggers at him. Then realized she needed to make up an excuse quick, and that she was still holding Harry in her left hand. She quickly hid her hands under the table in her lap. “Er…” Then she had her solution. “No entiendo ingles, Ron.” She said, while thanking Merlin she knew Spanish.

“Huh?” Ron became very confused.

“Si tu quieres hablar a mi, tienes que hablar en espanol.”

Ron began to glance around the room. “Er, I’ll…see you later, OK?” He went over to talk to Seamus and Dean.

She brought Harry back up and hid him beside her book bag. “Are you OK, Harry?”

He dusted himself off. “Well, I never thought I’d be between your legs this fast, but otherwise I’m OK.”

She glared at him. “Why must all you boys insist on being so crude?” she said, exasperated. “Look, Dumbledore and Flitwick are sick, so there’s nothing I can do. We’ll just have to wait.”

“But, I don’t want to stay in the dorm all day. I’d get so bored.”

She bit her lip. “Well, I guess I could take you to class with me. Since I have Arithmancy, you won’t have to suffer through Divination with that bat Trelawney.”

Harry sighed. “Well, I guess so. This way I won’t fall behind. But…we’ll have to get my homework out of my dormitory first.”

She grinned. “It’s settled then. C’mon.” She grabbed him and remembering, stuffed him in her pocket. She ran off to Gryffindor Tower.

Thankfully, Hermione was able to get Crookshanks to get Harry’s homework, which had been lying on his nightstand. Now she only needed an excuse which would fool the teachers, not just Ron. Harry told her to tell them he felt sick and was just going to stay in bed, since Madame Pomfrey would have her hands full with the food poisoning.

Hermione carried Harry in her pocket to their first class of the day, which was regrettably Potions with the Slytherins. She waited outside the door for Professor Snape to show up.

Ron edged up next to her. “Er, are you going to talk to me now, Hermione?” he asked.

She flicked a strand of hair out of her face before facing him. “Well, technically I did speak to you, Ron, just in another language. What is it?”

“Well, Harry’s still missing, isn’t he? And you never really answered me the first time.”

Hermione sighed, considering whether or not to tell him the truth. She thought the better of it though. There were too many people around, including Draco Malfoy and his gang. She didn’t want to embarrass Harry. “Ron, Harry felt sick, so he just stayed in bed. He figured Madame Pomfrey had her hands full with the food poisoning and all.”

Ron eyed her, as if not quite believing her story, but he nodded slowly.

Snape showed up, but was unable to find any reason for taking points from Gryffindor. Soon, they all had simmering cauldrons of what was supposed to be a cure for whooping cough.

Hermione had set up her books so that Harry could be on her table, but out of sight. He had wanted to actually hear what Snape was saying.

At that particular moment, Snape, however, was berating Neville as usual. “Longbottom, tell me, what color was this potion supposed to be?”

Neville sat quaking, as he knew he had messed up again. “Er…I don’t remember, sir.”

Snape fixed him with a dark glare. “Green, Longbottom, green! And yours…” He ladled out a bit so everyone could see. “Is purple!”

Harry decided he had had enough of Snape’s rudeness. He pulled out his wand and used a well-aimed Transfiguration spell.

Suddenly, Snape’s hair turned the color the potion was supposed to be, a deep, sickly green color.

Snape started. A hushed and terrible silence fell over the class. No one uttered a single sound, and Harry suspected that many had stopped breathing. Despite the fact that he was tiny and there was little chance Snape would figure out that it was him, he knew he had stopped breathing.

Snape’s eyes narrowed to black points. “Who did this?” he said in a harsh whisper more terrible than any yell Harry could imagine. Snape’s gaze fell on Ron.

“Mr. Weasley! What do you know about this?” Snape was suddenly in front of Ron. Ron quavered before him, but shook his head. Hermione, meanwhile, managed to sweep Harry back into her pocket without anyone noticing, quite a feat considering Snape was only three feet away.

Lacking anyone to punish and any evidence, Snape nonetheless took twenty points from Neville for getting his potion wrong. Class ended, and the Gryffindors stalked out sullenly.

Ron tried to make the best of it. “Well, 20 isn’t too bad, after all. At least none of us got detention, right?”

Still, by lunchtime, everyone was laughing about Snape’s hair turning green. Though he arrived at the head table with his hair its normal greasy black, there was a glint in his eye that made everyone feel cold.

Harry, unfortunately, was feeling very hungry. He was so small that Hermione didn’t think his body would be able to absorb any food particles, so she refused to feed him. They only had one more class, though, but that was Care of Magical Creatures. Hermione wasn’t sure she should take Harry along, in case Hagrid had some new weird creature that would try and eat him.

“Don’t worry, Hermione, I’ll be fine,” he insisted, so Hermione carried him in her pocket.

They arrived at Hagrid’s hut. They were to be studying owls today. There were over a dozen sitting around Hagrid’s hut. Hermione stood next to Ron as Hagrid came out. She had Harry clenched surreptitiously in her right hand, her arms folded across her chest.

“Well, the firs’ thing yeh’ve got ter know bout owls is…” Hagrid could get no further, as the owl he was using to demonstrate with suddenly took flight and aimed for Harry. Its beak snapped at her hand. She shrieked and tried to fend it off with her left hand. It kept going for her hand. Hagrid grabbed it and shut it in a cage.

“Sorry bout that, Hermione. Don’ know what got inter him.”

When the others were occupied, Hermione lifted Harry up.

“Are you OK, Harry?”

He was shook up, and had a few small cuts, but was otherwise fine. “Yeah, I’m fine. Guess that owl tried to eat me, huh?”

Hermione’s face appeared ashen. “Oh, Harry I don’t know what I’d do if…” Her voice trailed off, and she lowered Harry, unwilling to speak further on this subject.

After that lesson, she left for the library. It was difficult for Harry to study alongside her, as he couldn’t turn the pages, and it took him forever to read a page. He contented himself to listening quietly to Hermione’s constant “Hmms,” which she seemed to utter about twice a page.

Suddenly, Harry realized something. He had to answer the call of nature. This was not good. How was he supposed to go? He walked onto Hermione’s book, almost getting himself flipped over by her page-turning before she realized he was there.

“Er, Hermione, I have to go to the bathroom.” He tried to sound nonchalant about it, but his voice came out rather strangled.

Her eyes widened a moment. “Oh, er, well, shall I take you outside, then?”

She grabbed her books and stuffed them in a bag before carting him off to the grounds. She picked a secluded tree, then set him down.

“No peeking,” he said to her with a grin, before turning his back. She likewise turned around, blushing at having her own words turned around at her. She could hear him humming lightly as he relieved himself. She grimaced.

“Alright, we can go back to the library now.” She grabbed him up.

“Are you aware that you hum when you, erm, go?”

He looked shocked. “I do? Well, maybe I do. But at least I don’t whistle while I dress and undress.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “Who does that? Ron?” For one wild moment she had a bizarre mental image of Ron whistling very poorly while throwing a dirty shirt on.

Harry grinned. “Why, you do.”

“WHAT?!”

As they discussed their strange habits, Professor McGonagall approached. Hermione quickly stuffed Harry in her pocket.

“Ah, Ms. Granger. You will be happy to know that Professor Dumbledore is well again. You may see him if you wish.”

Hermione’s eyes lit up. “Oh, thank you, Professor!” She set off at a dead run, up to the Hospital Wing. Along the way, though, she tripped on the stairs, sending Harry out of her grasp. He bounced once on the stairs, knocking him out cold, and then landing…

…In her shirt. With a panic, she looked down her shirt, searching for Harry.

“Harry? Harry?” she whispered. She saw him lying unconscious. “Oh, dear.” Looking about stealthily, she reached down her front and started rummaging around, trying to get Harry out. She stopped suddenly when she heard loud cries and yells from in front of her up the stairs.

Ron, along with Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and Neville, who was hiding behind Ron, stood there laughing at her.

“Omigod, Hermione? I know guys try to cop a cheap feel every now and then, but…” Ron broke off laughing.

Hermione’s face grew very hot. She realized what it must have looked like to them. She got up and marched right in front of Ron.

“Ronald Weasley, if you ever again address me in such a…humiliating manner again, I will personally write a letter to your mother!” Ron became very quiet then. He feared his mother above all others. Hermione stamped past him.

“Wait, Hermione, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” But Ron’s words were lost as she moved on.

She reached the Hospital Wing in no-time. Pausing before she entered, she grabbed Harry out and walked in. Professor Dumbledore was lying in bed reading what appeared to be a home gardening magazine. His feet, which did not have his customary boots on, instead had mismatched socks covering them.

“Ah, Ms. Granger. Professor McGonagall informed me you wished to see me?”

“Er, yes, Professor. You see, Harry and I were practicing Shrinking Charms, and well, something went wrong.” She held out Harry to Dumbeldore. He peered at Harry’s minute figure.

“I see. His spell rebounded on him?”

“Yes. He was using a reflecting book..”

He waved a hand. “Ah, say no more. The Reflecting Book of Reflexive Charms, I presume? We have had…similar accidents in the past. Do not fret.” He took Harry and set him on the floor. He then pulled out his wand and muttered a spell. Harry immediately became normal sized again with a faint pop. “Ennervate.”

Harry woke up with Dumbledore’s spell. He groaned.

“Oooh, what happened?”

Hermione blushed furiously. “Erm, I’ll tell you later. C’mon, we’re missing supper.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him down to the Great Hall. And thus ended another day at Hogwarts.