She Says

She Says

Chapter One: Cold Winter on the Shore

Author: ItsLily2u (call me Meg)

Sweet is the side

Of her room

Window open by candlelight

How would you know

Cold winter on the shore

Chills a dress she wore

It’s on the floor

It feels so warm today

--She Says, by Howie Day

Holding her hand out timidly to catch a snowflake on her fingertip, seventeen-year-old Lily Evans smiled, silently observing the scene before her. It was the most beautiful day--snow blanketed the ground evenly, the sun shone cheerfully from its high perch, laughter rang out in gleeful rounds from some far corner of the grounds.

“Lily!”

The witch jumped, turning to her friends, who were close to the lake. They’d obviously just noticed the loss of one in their numbers.

“Aren’t you coming?”

Lily laughed; it was a loud, beautiful, clear laugh, and ran off the steps of the castle to meet them. “’Course!” She giggled as her best friend slipped--however gracefully--on a patch of ice.

“What were you doing up there, anyway?” Fanny asked, reaching out for Lily’s arm, looping her own through it carelessly.

“Knowing our Lily, she was admiring something, probably writing a pretty little poem in her pretty little head. Naturally.”

Fanny and Lily rolled their eyes at this, both knowing how terrible Lily could be with words. Lily glanced at her other best friend, Tyler Hill, and reached out for his arm as well. He came to her, offering it gladly.

They walked this way in silence for a few moments, until Tyler’s group of Ravenclas friends turned back to see where he had disappeared to. “Oi! You three! What’s taking so long?”

When they realized they weren’t receiving an immediate response from Lily, Fanny, or Tyler, they turned back to the steely-gray lake, their wands drawn. Lily could only imagine they were tormenting the squid… which she knew from experience to be nice enough, if you didn’t bother it. But the moment you messed with the lake-dweller, it would never forget it. She would never personally get on its bad side.

“Ravenclaws are so--”

Tyler cleared his throat, interrupting Lily with an amused smile on his face. He brushed imaginary dust from his shiny Ravenclaw Prefect badge. Fanny giggled.

“Oh. Right.” Those two were always teasing each other.

Lily broke away from her friends and knelt down to the nearest bank of snow, a wicked glint in her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she chuckled to herself.

“What’re you…” Tyler quirked his eyebrows.

“Revenge, of course.”

“Ah. Upon a certain blue-eyed, brown-haired, very naughty Ravenclaw, I‘d imagine.” Fanny grinned. She encouraged Lily in whatever way she could, though a snowball fight did seem like weak revenge on an ex-boyfriend. Though, if Lily was up for it, who was she to disagree? She loved the fiery red-head like a sister.

She and Tyler quickly caught on, neither willing to disagree with a mischievous Lily, both eager to participate--and before the four lake-side Ravenclaw boys (one offending bloke and three innocent friends) knew what hit them, they were being attacked by wild giggles, fierce war calls (on Tyler’s part), and cold snow from behind.

*

“Let’s go to the kitchens,” Fanny whispered playfully. She had a roguish glint to her pale blue eyes as she and Lily made their way back to the castle.

Lily kicked at the snow for a moment, then pulled off her hat. “You know how to get there? Since when?! You’ve been holding out on me! That’s a break of the code of honor!” She tugged on Fanny’s arm lightly, looking sulky and childish, though very prettily.

“Oh, please. You know me better than that. I followed that wimpy Peter Pettigrew down there last night. It’s so easy! I was just disappointed the Marauders have been going there for years, and we’ve never managed to trip in there. Come on. I want to go.” she pouted, trying to look innocent, which rarely worked for her. With Lily, anyway.

“Oh, all right,” Lily rolled her eyes, smiling as she shook her long red hair from her face. “But only because hot cocoa does sound very good. Mmm.” She laughed, looping her arm through Fanny’s once again, as they often did.

“Hot cocoa? Now where would you get hot cocoa at an hour like this?”

The two turned suspiciously to look at Tyler, who was grinning sweetly as he plowed through the snow to be level with them.

“Well. It’s almost time for tea,” Lily scoffed. “But we’re going on an adventure.”

“To…?”

“The kitchens.” Fanny looked nonchalant, like she did those sort of things everyday. Which she did.

Tyler chuckled, taking in the girls’ proud smirks. “You little imps!” He congratulated them. “Well, I couldn’t possibly let you go on this adventure alone. You need someone to protect you. Like me, your brave… knight in shining armor. Or something like it.” He glanced down at his sweater with a grin.

“Ty. We’re witches… Who’re we to be afraid of? A first year Hufflepuff? Not to mention, we’re the brave ones. Remember?”

“Yup, Gryffindors are great for that. You just supply the brains when ole’ Lillykins can’t.”

He shook his head. “That’s for me to decide. Now, come on. We’re going to the kitchens for hot cocoa. Only I want pumpkin juice and pie.”

“You can get that every Sunday at tea.” Fanny raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

“And this is Sunday.” Lily rolled her pretty eyes dramatically.

“What, you two are wanting to skive off an adventure? Thought you were more fun than that.”

“Like hell, Mr. Brave Ravenclaw Man.” Fanny turned around and started back for the castle, flicking her beach-blonde hair over her shoulder as she went. For effect, because it was Fanny doing it.

Lily grinned after her for a moment, then at Tyler. She shrugged, then followed, running to catch up.

Like hell, indeed.

*

Tyler smiled as he walked beside Lily, his best friend since second year… They’d not even known each other in first, let alone heard the other’s name… What with being in different houses and all.

He hadn’t stayed at Hogwarts for the Christmas hols in first year, but after hearing what fun it had been from his mates, Tyler decided he had no choice for his second year.

But by the second day, he found himself in the library, alone. Everyone from his sodding house had gone home, unlike last year. He was miserable, being the only Ravenclaw left, and had no idea what he was supposed to do for all of two weeks on his own in a castle. So there he was, trying to get his homework out of the way, so that he might not have to do it the night before classes came again. At least there was a bright spot.

He’d already finished two essays--his writing slow, neat, and deliberate; he threw down his quill, looking around the library. The place was huge! Of course there were books there to help him with essays; more books on these subjects than he could ask for. Merlin, why was he even in Ravenclaw?

Laughing to himself, he left his things at the table (he’d not seen another student in the library all day, he had no fear of his books being taken) and went to wander between the shelves. He was just rounding the corner to “D-F” when he ran into someone, knocking both the beautiful girl and himself onto their bums.

He grinned over at her, wincing slightly, then jumped to his feet. He offered the girl a hand, trying to place her name. She was certainly familiar. Maybe he had a class with her… Yes. That was it.. She was in his Herbology class. A Gryffindor.

She smiled and took his offered hand. The two looked at each other curiously for a moment.

She had straight, dark red--maybe burgundy--hair pulled back into a ponytail, with side swept bangs-- very fashionable for a girl, and the prettiest, most green eyes he’d ever seen. Her lips were pink, her teeth both a dazzling white and a desirable straight; altogether, her smile was every definition of perfect. She was clad in all simple muggle clothing-- blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a navy zip-up sweater over all. Tyler thought she was adorable.

Tyler, being the talkative second-year he was, found himself at a loss for words as he stared at this… vision.

The girl recovered herself first, taking a large, leather-bound book from the floor. “Merlin! I’m so sorry!” She laughed, and he thought that was perfect, too. “I don’t do that often, I swear.” She turned around, her eyes roving the ground. “Ah.” She disappeared behind a bookshelf, and Tyler nearly ran after her, but there she was again, a maroon bag over her shoulder. She smiled curiously, one hand on the yellow shoulder strap of her bag, the other playing with the pocket of her jeans. “I’m Lily Evans. Gryffindor. Dunno if you know me.”

Tyler grinned. “Tyler Hill. Ravenclaw.”

“Second year?”

“Mm.”

“Me too.”

He grinned.

“I think we have Herbology together then, right?”

He nodded; she smiled. That was all it took.

He liked her right away.

-

“Lily!”

The red-head smiled, amused, as the Ravenclaw nearly fell out of his seat upon seeing her. “Hey, Tyler!” She brushed her bangs from her eyes.

“Saved you a seat. The only other people here are Slytherins!” he whispered, with a laugh. Both looked around conspicuously.

Lily laughed back. “I don’t imagine those ones like McGlover like to spend much time with their mummies at home, then.”

“Speaking of which… Why didn’t you? Go home, that is,” Tyler hadn’t spoken with Lily much; they’d parted not long after meeting in the library, with promises of seeing each other soon. But he already liked talking to her. She wasn’t like other Gryffindors; all the ones he knew were stuffy. But not Lily.

“My sister.” she replied simply, turning a bit in her seat, pouring two glasses of pumpkin juice, one for each of them.

“Oh.”

-

“Favorite Weird Sisters’ song?” Lily giggled as they climbed up the marble staircase.

“Marble Canyon!” he smiled. It was an… interesting song. Rather stupid. Almost funny.

“Ooh! That’s the best!”

“Okay… Favorite class?”

“Bad question! Potions. So easy.” Lily shrugged loftily.

But Tyler cringed. “Ick! Definitely Herbology! Astronomy! Anything outside. I can’t wait for Care of Magical Creatures.”

“Mmkay…Professor that’s the wildest partier?” Tyler laughed.

“Oh. McGonagall, obviously. Look at her hair.” Lily’s head of house.

“What? No, it’s Slughorn.” And his.

“Ha!” Lily snickered. “If you had to do one thing for a day, what would you fear doing the most?”

“Wearing girls’ knickers.” he guffawed.

“They aren’t so bad, honestly. Okay. Mine’s being stuck in the muggle world.”

“If you could-- what?” Tyler cocked his head to the side, distracted from his question.

“Really.” Lily shrugged. “I like being a witch, I never want to go back! Actually, I could think of a million answers to that question. Like swimming--big fear, since I was, I dunno, three or so. Or maybe even being finding out that some huge monster lives in the castle. Wouldn‘t that just be the most lovely of things?” Lily cleared her throat with a strange laugh.

“Erm… alright. Least favorite Slytherin?”

Lily slowed her pace to look sideways at the Ravenclaw. “They’re not all bad, you know.” She was silent a moment to let this statement sink in, a sad look in her eyes. “But I don’t like that Mulciber bloke much. He’s odd.”

“You’re friends with a Slytherin? Lily! I always heard Gryffindors were brave… Anyway. I pick Snape. He needs to get on the next train--”

“He’s the one I meant.”

Tyler looked at the redhead in amazement. “Not all bad…” he muttered. “All right. I believe you.”

There was a moment of silence. “Who’s your best mate?” Lily asked, genuinely curious. She watched him through her green eyes.

“Brandon,” Tyler said matter-of-factly.

Lily smiled and gave him an odd look. “Mine is Sev. And Fanny, too.”

The two walked on in silence for a few moments, enjoying the company, but each sighed as they neared the next corridor; he would have to go left, she right… It was almost time for curfew and neither wanted to chance being out at night, considering the only other students who were in the castle were older Slytherins (and a few Hufflepuffs, probably hidden in their common room).

The glanced at each other and smiled shyly.

“And you, too, I think.” Lily added. “My best friend, that is.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Tyler beamed.

And with that, the two parted, each smiling at having found a new best- friend..

*

“Hey, Lils?” Tyler asked, as they neared the snow-covered steps that led to the castle.

“Hmm?” She looked up as they made their way up the steps, but was distracted as the oak doors creaked open. The four seventh-year Gryffindor boys spilled out; they saw Lily and Fanny, their fellow housemates and held the doors open politely. They even smiled, which the girls received kindly.

Tyler, however, frowned. The Marauders--as the four called themselves--were not polite. He watched as the “leader” of the group, James Potter, who was also Head Boy--Merlin only knows how he managed it--smiled and waved at Lily, who worked alongside the prat as Head Girl.

She nodded back, though he had never really been her favorite person.

“Favorite class of the week?” Tyler pulled the attention of the Gryffindor girls back onto himself, not caring if the others could hear him.

“Mmm.. Tues--No, Wednesday, knowing the week is half over.”

Tyler chuckled. “Sunday. For tea.”

Fanny smirked; she’d never been invited on Lily and Tyler’s game, in fact, it was rather amusing just to listen, though she thought she’d heard some of these questions a hundred times.

“Favorite season?” Lily quipped.

“Winter.”

“Hmph.” She scrunched her nose in response. “Spring, by far.”

He grinned. “All right, who‘s your best mate?” The question he’d wanted to ask, anyway.

Lily’s eyes grew bright in remembrance. “Fanny.” She smiled, looking over at him, though it might have been a sad one. There was one less name to her response since the last time Tyler had asked.

Fanny looked proud at having been named first.

“And you, too, I think.” Lily continued, a sparkle in her eyes.

“I was thinking the same thing.”

She Says

Chapter Two: What’s Goin’ On in Your Head

Author: ItsLily2u (call me Meg)

And that’s why I’m wondering why

You had to tell me

What’s goin’ on in your head

*

“No, it’s really not that bad of a class.” Lily peered at her dark-haired friend through her long red hair. She waved at a group of passing Ravenclaws as they made their way through the corridor. “Really.”

The boy at her side rolled his eyes. “You only say that because that boy is in there--”

“Who? Potter?” Lily laughed. “No. That has nothing to do with it, actually. We don’t even really talk. I like Charms, I don’t see what’s so horrible about them. They’re really quite fun, Sev.”

“Only because you do well at the spells. But there are more useful classes… Or more useful things to learn, anyway.” Severus gave her an odd look. “Like Defense. I mean, it could definitely be a better class, and the professor is lacking true knowledge of the arts, but… still. I like it, most of the time. Or even Potions. I like Potions.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “You just feel like arguing with me right now, because you’re still mad about that Potter thing this morning.”

“How…” Severus stopped in his tracks. “How did you know about that?”

She smiled patiently. “Sev,” She reached out for his hand. “Potter has an impossibly huge mouth, as well as a pathetic penchant for teasing and pranking people he dislikes, the prat.” She took his hand in hers, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Come on, let’s go see if we can get our table at the library.”

He smiled, noting that her hand hadn’t left his own.

*

“When did winter even start?” Fanny asked, pushing her long, wavy blonde hair over her shoulder. She pulled her cloak closer.

“I dunno.” Lily shrugged. “I wish it would hurry and get over with though. I loathe cold. Maybe I should just go outside and do a great, big drying charm… Do you think the bloody snow would go away?” She rested her chin in her hand, watching the four Marauders--James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew--approach. “Maybe an Evanesco.”

“You don‘t like snow?” James Potter asked. He looked truly curious.

“I loathe it.” Lily repeated--and looked like she was about to add something else to accompany this remark, possibly something to do with loathing Potter, as well, but Fanny stopped her.

“Why, hello, boys.” She pretended to have just noticed them, smiling her bright, cherry-red smile up at the four. Sirius and Remus grinned back in response, saying their hellos; Peter mumbled something about homework and detention, though he appeared minutes later at the Hufflepuff table, next to a sixth year; James only had eyes for one Ms. Evans, though the Marauders and Fanny were the only ones to take any notice.

Lily’s attention turned away from her housemates as a familiar dark-haired and dark-eyed Slytherin entered the Great Hall. She watched him with sad eyes, as he sulked his way over to his table. She sighed once more, caught up in her memories. He certainly seemed to be on her mind a lot lately.

This thought made her sigh yet again.

*

“Sev!” Lily gushed, rushing forward. “I was so afraid you’d gone home early again! You aren’t going to your aunt’s again, are you? I hope not! I’m happy you’re going home, too. That’s fun, because now I’ll have someone to talk to.” Her arms wound around his small frame in a tight hug. But after a moment, she was walking away. “I’ll be right back, okay? I have to go find Fanny! Go in my compartment, I promise I’ll be back!”

He watched her go with a sigh, not really sure how to take this. Fanny wasn’t too horrible. Yes, she was a Gryffindor through and through, but she was usually fairly decent when she was in his company. She didn’t make too many rude comments, like Lily’s other friend, that Tyler from Ravenclaw. Oh, he was an annoying sort.

Pushing the compartment door open the rest of the way, Severus entered it, lifting his bag back onto his shoulder.

“Oh, hello, Snape.” Tyler looked up from his book. He was near the window, and was now looking at Severus with eyes that easily spelled mistrust.

“Wood.” He replied with a slight sneer. He only put up with Lily’s friends for her sake. If he hadn’t cared so much about the stubborn, fiery red-head, he wouldn’t put himself through all this. “Haven’t you been reading that book for a while, now? I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart, read fast, and all that.” It was his best shot at civility.

Tyler’s eyes narrowed even further. “It’s the third on in the series, you dolt. And I started reading them last Tuesday, thanks.” He let the book fall closed with a snap. It landed on his leg. “And, just so you know, the only reason Fanny or I act like we don’t dislike you around Lily is because she asks us to. Don’t think for a moment that we enjoy your miserable company, Snape. I know she trusts you, but I doubt she always will. Someday, she’ll see that you are to be trusted or loved. It’s only a matter of time until you show your true colors. We’d as soon have you out of this compartment as have Potter with us.”

The look of disgust was returned. “You think I enjoy being around a Mudblood such as yourself? Don’t fool yourself, Wood. In fact, next time you think on it, remind yourself that I loathe you the same way you loathe me. And believe me, if she trusts me, it‘s for a reason, probably more of a reason than--”

The other boy opened his mouth to cut him off, but each were interrupted by the compartment door opening once more. Lily and Fanny walked in, smiles on their faces.

Lily’s widened at the sight of both Severus and Tyler still in the same compartment, as though she was witnessing progress between her two friends; Fanny’s smile grew when she saw Tyler, but faded to a frown as she noticed the cold look Severus aimed at Tyler‘s slender form.

“Aren’t you all so happy? We’re not fourth years anymore!” Lily tossed herself into the empty seat next to the Slytherin. She pulled her feet up into the seat with her, leaning back comfortably.

Fanny noticed the dark look Tyler gave Severus, who looked quite pleased.

“It is odd to think we only have a couple years left,” Fanny supplied, feeling uneasy with the two boys glaring daggers at each other.

“Oh. I forgot to mention, Lils, mum found a new house, after all. We’re moving in next week, after dad gets released.”

“Oh, Ty!” Lily jumped across the compartment, to join him. She wrapped her arms around him. Snape made an odd noise, almost a growl, but it went unnoticed. “That’s the best news ever! He’s really getting out now? How is he doing?”

“Wonderful, now that he’s getting out soon.” He hugged her back.

“That really is good to hear.” Fanny smiled widely and joined in on the hug. “We’ll get to see him when he’s feeling better, right?”

“Oh, I would love to see your new--”

Without a single word, or good-bye, Severus was out of the compartment, leaving the three Gryffindors behind, two happy, one puzzled.

*

“Oh. Hi. And to what do we owe this rare pleasure?” Marianne Wallace, another seventh-year Gryffindor with whom Fanny and Lily shared a dorm (and were good friends with), quirked an eyebrow at the boys, dragging Lily’s attention back to the conversation.

Of course, the seventh years were all known to talk, but… The boys were an entity of their own. They were the Marauders: they did pranks, they caused laughs, they charmed girls, they brought about general mischief. They were like Hogwarts Celebrities. There was not a single person in the school who did not know the foursome’s names. They were just known.

“We just thought it would be nice to join our own house and year-mates for dinner. If you wouldn’t mind, that is,” Sirius sent his charming smile over Mary’s way.

“’Course we wouldn’t.” said Fanny brightly. “Would we, Lils?” She knew her best friend well; Lily truly could not stand James Potter.

But, if Fanny had her way, that wouldn’t last long. She knew that if Lily would calm down long enough to talk to the poor bloke, she would see that the really was nice… and quite smitten with her. And she was just the sort of girl to fancy him back.

“No, not at all…” Lily said somewhat absently, but seriously at the same time.

They were all surprised to see Lily smile.

She smiled in Potter’s presence.

Tyler, who had eaten in silence across from Lily, now looked up in disgust. Every girl dropped at the Marauder’s feet like they were some sort of gods. As far as he was concerned, they were prats. They pranked Slytherins and could be funny--but they used girls, lots of girls. And hurt them. He wasn’t about to see that happen to one of his friends. Or best friend.

James, who had taken a seat next to Lily, looked up at her as she talked with her friend (though she seemed far away from the conversation, somehow), Fanny, who was on the other side of the table, next to that Ravenclaw bloke, Hill. He longed for something to talk with her about. Anything. He watched as she flipped her red hair over her shoulder to keep it out of the way, her green eyes dancing with laughter as she said something.

He was happy enough to be next to her. Maybe he should leave the talking for later.

She did seem to be sighing quite a lot today, though didn’t she?

*

“Exam wasn’t too bad, not for an OWL, anyway, eh?” Tyler grinned as he ran down the corridor to catch Lily by the arm. “Hey.”

“No.” She replied coldly. “It wasn’t.” She continued walking.

The Ravenclaw blinked and he looked stricken. “Lily?” he called out uncertainly. She’d never used that tone with him before.

“I’m fine.” was her immediate response.

But a moment later she stopped in her tracks. That’s when he noticed the tears, that her upper body shook in anxiety.

“Lily?” he said once more, reaching out to her.

“I’m fine. Really!” She choked out, clearly contradicting herself.

“Come ‘ere.” Tyler whispered, pulling her into his arms around her, situating himself so that her head was tucked into his neck, her arms comfortably folded up against his chest. She didn’t resist him, but continued to cry, instead, and he continued to hold her. They stayed that way for as long as her tears endured, sobbing the sadness away, in her case, and doing the best to help, in his.

But eventually, her exhaustion and misery gave way, and her knees began to buckle underneath her.

Instead of fighting her, and trying to keep her small frame upright, Tyler slid to the floor with her, his arms still wound around his dear friend, one encircling her waist, the other draping her shoulders lovingly.

“I’m right here, Lils.” he breathed softly, using the pad of his thumb to wipe her cheeks free of tears.

“So you won’t call me a Mudblood, too, then?” She sounded hurt, bitter, unhappy… everything he never wanted her to be. “By being here you mean you’ll let me help you by keeping that blasted over-pompous self-sufficient prat known as James Potter--” Her voice hit a high pitch, and her eyes looked even more red. “--from embarrassing you in front of the entire school? You won’t just… you’ll…” The confused look in his eyes slowly registered with her, because after a moment she sighed and blinked. She looked apologetic. “Oh, Ty. I’m sorry. It’s just… I just… He--”

“He, who?” He brushed the hair from her feverish face.

“Sev,” She hiccupped.

Tyler blinked, reminding himself to stay calm. “What happened?” he asked slowly. Inside, he was aching. He’d always hoped that slimy git would mess things up royally with Lily so he’d leave them alone for once, but now that it had actually happened… Well, he wanted to make the barmy git take it all back.

By the time Lily had finished the story, the tears were nearly gone and she appeared much more relaxed.

“That bastard! Lily, I am so sorry.” He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay… right? I should’ve known. He’s been so cold lately. I’m fine, really. I just…. I didn’t think he’d be so rude, not in front of…” She sighed. “Ah, let’s go up to the Gryffindor Tower, ok? Will you go with me? Do you mind?”

*

“Erm… Could I walk you to the common room? I mean--if you’re going there. I will if you’d like me to. Well, okay, I mean…”

James Potter had always been incredibly awkward around Lily Evans--thus making himself look like either a blubbering prat or a complete git. Either way, it was bad. He had never been on her good side.

He was sorely tempted to reach up and smack himself in the forehead.

“That’d be all right.” Lily agreed. She nodded.

James blinked. He couldn’t see directly into her face; they were on the spiraling stairs, leaving Dumbledore’s office after a Head meeting. She was a few steps below him, and, well… he had to wonder if she was feeling well. She hadn’t even laughed at his stuttering. Had she heard him correctly?

He was still fretting over this as neared the landing; she stepped off gracefully, looking more beautiful than ever and James… stumbled. Naturally. But she didn’t laugh at him. In fifth or sixth year, given the opportunity, she would have at least smirked.

The bitter-looking gargoyle slid into place as they left it behind.

She still wasn’t looking terribly unhappy at the prospect of James Potter walking beside her; in fact, she looked like she was just out for a stroll, looking out the windows and smiling slightly. James couldn’t help but wonder at her.

Though it seemed that all week, she’d been off in her own world.

“So, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” At Lily’s blank look and raised eyebrows, he continued. “The meeting,”

“Oh.” She smiled slowly. “No, I suppose not. They have to let us feel like we’re doing something right occasionally, eh?”

James laughed quietly, as they walked on in silence again, now approaching a stairwell. Merlin, for knowing so much about the girl, he had not the foggiest idea about how to start a conversation--a real conversation--with her.

Lily sighed, for the upteenth time, it seemed like. She just seemed overwhelmed with the memories. Yes, of course she missed her best friend… But he’d hurt her. Deeply. And she had Fanny and Tyler. They were stable, good friends. They would never hurt her like that.

She didn’t need him… right?

*

She Says

Chapter Three: You Don’t Have To Run

Author: ItsLily2u

Disclaimer: I am jobless & broke… Enough said.

What’s wrong

Come around to another time when you

Don’t have to run

*

“So, erm… Do you know what you want to do outside of Hogwarts?” he asked curiously. That was a decent question. Perfectly safe and stable, and he was sure to get a good answer.

Lily sighed. “I’m not sure, honestly.” She sounded tired. “I just took a load of classes I thought would set me up with some good opportunities. Who knows?”

James blinked slowly. He’d never considered the idea that Lily wouldn’t know what she wanted to do--she’d always seemed so sure of herself--in everything that she did.

“So, tell me something else about yourself, Ms. Lily Evans, Charms--and Potions--Extraordinaire.” He winked.

Lily smiled for a moment, then sighed and looked sad. “There’s nothing, other than the fact than I’m Head Girl, don’t know what I want to do after school, I’m muggle-born, and… well…” She looked at the floor. “I study a lot. I’m quite boring.”

“You’re not boring, Lily.”

Suddenly, Lily was scowling at him. “Oh, Potter, don’t be nice. It isn’t becoming on you. You don’t know a thing about me, except what everyone thinks they know.”

James took a step back, but he was frowning, now. He did know things about her… If only she knew. “Well. Fine. You may not agree, but I don’t think you’re boring. I think you’re anything but boring, Lily. And I expect Brandon--”

Her eyes flashed. “Don’t even mention him around me.”

James swallowed. He could never say the right thing around this girl…

Did that mean she’d broken up with him? Had he done something to make her mad, and they’d be back together in a few days? Or had he… Ooh, if he’d done anything to hurt her, he’d be sure to get after the Ravenclaw the next chance he had.

James Potter was--if nothing else--a damn good dueler when he needed to be.

Lily inhaled sharply, looking as though something had just sprung to life inside her. “Ooh… That bloody prat!” She crossed her arms over her chest, scrunching her nose. He’d never seen her do that before, but he certainly loved the look; she was adorable. But a moment later, James thought he could see tears in her eyes. “I didn’t even expect a thing! We’d been together three months! He was always telling me how happy he was. Though I guess that should’ve been an indication. Three months, and he just…” she trailed off, biting her lip with a sound something like frustration. “’It was fun while it lasted, Lily.’” she mocked, a deep scowl on her porcelain features. James wanted to laugh, hold her, and hit this Brandon blighter all at once. “I mean, who the hell says that?” She was nearing hysterics. James doubted she would want to cry in front of him, so he made a small movement, as if to hug her, but stopped; just to remind her he was still standing there.

Her head snapped up and she looked at him, hard. “Oh, why am I telling you this. You wouldn’t know a thing about… Oh, that‘s right. You’ve broken plenty of girls’ hearts.” She snorted. “You would know.” With a graceful eye roll, Lily turned to walk in the other direction, and leave James standing in the hallway, but he reach out and touched her arm with his fingertips.

“Lily, people are wrong about us… You have to understand that. Both of us.” He paused, letting her think on this for a moment. “If, as you say, everyone thinks you’re boring, they‘re wrong. But they’re wrong about me, too, and I want you to understand that.” Looking down into her green eyes, slightly hazy from the tears, James couldn’t help but wish--yet again--for everything he didn’t have. He’d wished after it for years. “I’ve not had half the girlfriends people say I have, you know. I’m not a spoiled mummy’s-boy, and I don’t just “get with” girls… especially to do something stupid, like break their hearts. And… I’d never… just…” He was finding it harder to remember what he was saying, as he stared into her eyes. But Lily hadn’t moved or looked away. He took this as a good sign.

He almost started to lean down, but he caught himself just in time. That would certainly make her run away. Merlin, that’s the last thing he wanted to do.

Suddenly, Lily blinked and shook her head. She stepped away.

“Do you know what you want to do?” She changed the subject, though sounding genuinely curious, but he may have been hoping for too much. Probably she was just trying to recover from being so close. Had they almost kissed? Surely not. He was imagining things…

“An auror. Without a doubt. My dad’s a auror, a damn good one. I’ve always looked up to him, even as a little kid, and I knew I’d be just as good as him someday.” James smiled thoughtfully. “I always remember him coming home after work and going into his study. I’d follow him in there and ask him about a million questions about his job. The poor bloke,” He laughed. “He has to come to Hogwarts sometimes, and he’s always at the station to leave me and pick me up; have you ever seen him? Maybe sometime you could meet him, and he could--”

Lily scoffed, throwing James an offended look. “Naturally. Off you go, yet again. It’s always about you! And I’ll bet he’s just like you. I get enough conceit and arrogance from one Potter. I don’t need it from another bloke who’s probably not a jolt different from his son. In fact, he probably molded you into… this.” With a deep, disapproving scowl, she departed, leaving James stranded in the corridor wandering what he’d said.

*

It had very a painstakingly long day.

Though lately, it seemed like they all were.

Three Hogwarts students had lost their families in the last month, and more were sure to come. These days, it seemed like nothing was okay. Deaths, disappearances, curses, and tears weren’t uncommon anymore.

It was sad, that everyday, it was routine for each person in the Hall to watch the owls come in through the high windows, to unroll their copy of the Prophet, and scan the headlines, expecting more news of the infamous Lord Voldemort-- newly coined “He Who Must Not Be Named.”

Lily’s mind was heavy with such thoughts as she wandered the halls that night, not for the first time. True, Prefects were never supposed to patrol alone, but it was the sixth year Gryffindor’s turn, and she didn’t mind covering for Remus. He deserved it, and besides, Lily didn’t mind patrolling alone anymore, as it was the perfect opportunity to think and get some clarity.

Although tonight, clarity seemed impossible, and her thoughts were heavy.

But with a single flash of light, they grew worse.

There wasn’t time to consider who had just fired a spell her way, or even why. Her only thought was to make them stop. Magic wasn’t allowed in the corridors, anyway!

As another spell came too close to her right ear, she frowned. Alright, magic wasn’t allowed, but she wasn’t about to let someone curse her, not without fighting back.

She muttered a quick “Stupefy” and hurried forward, hoping for a glance of who it was. But a dash of bright green light cracked and broke a bit of the wall to the right, making her jump. An Unforgivable. Whoever she was deuling had just tried to use an Unforgivable on her!

She fired a disarming spell ahead, and the flash of light was just enough. Both deulers gasped and froze in place.

She stood perfectly still, her body fully alert, legs in deuling stance, one hand holding her wand outstretched, the other hanging limply at her side, her eyes wide and pinned on the solitary figure just ahead and to the right.

His stance mirrored hers, though somewhat more tense and aggressive. His eyes, however, were the very opposite of hers, their dark depths shined maliciously and were mere slits as he glared in her way.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed like all the other little kiddies there, Mudblood?”

“I could say the same to you, Snape.” She said it like it was the worst sort of insult.

“You’re afraid I’ll curse you again, aren’t you?” He stalked closer, sneering down his long nose at the shorter girl.

“What’s that supposed to mean, huh? You couldn’t hit me if you wanted. You didn‘t, even when I was unprepared and without my wand,” She blinked stubbornly back. “I’m a magnificent deuler. Top of the year, if you’ll remember. Care to test me again?”

“You’re not bad,” he corrected. “But you don’t want to mess with me, Evans.” His gaze seemed to soften, although Lily thought she might have imagined that.

She simply replied by staring back in distrust. He edged closer, until he was maybe a foot away. She glared back up into his steely gaze.

“You look uncomfortable, Evans. Mistrusting. Disbelieving.”

“You think I should look any differently around you? You’re not to be trusted. I don‘t know how I ever did.”

His eyes went to the floor. “Look, Evans. I don’t have time for this.” He turned to go, expecting Lily to stay behind. “I--”

She reached out for his arm. “You know what? No--” She pulled at his wrist to turn him around. “We have some things to talk about, you two-faced prat.” As her arm slid further down his cloak, he shuddered and met her eyes again. He froze.

Lily watched the look on his face, then followed his gaze down to his now exposed forearm. Lily gasped.

It was his mark.

That was all it took; Lily’s eyes met his for one brief moment, then she turned and was gone. He stared after her, his heart pounding in his chest. He still loved that girl with all his heart.

But by not being friends with her, he was protecting her.

*

James tried. He truly did. He tried all bloody week to just talk to the girl (but to no avail) ever since their conversation Sunday night…

The conversation that left him wanting--no, craving more of her. Needing her, even.

He’d had classes and meals with her, not to mention the times he saw her in the corridors and common room. But James had never known she was so incredibly good at ducking, dodging, and denying him--both deliberately and deviously. When she was in his presence, she was straight back to making her old, snarky remarks… Only James found they hurt a hell of a lot more than they used to. He had never wanted the weekend to come so badly--for he and Lily patrolled on Saturdays, Sundays and Mondays (unless there was a Head Meeting with Headmaster Dumbledore). But time, it seemed, was not taking his side this time.

The Marauders hadn’t figured out exactly what was wrong-- but they could guess the general root of the problem. The illustrious Lily Evans.

And while they had always been James’s supportive best mates, they couldn’t help but laugh quietly at his increasing awkwardness. They always had, throughout the years.

Peter--though not known for his tact-- was quite good at accidentally stumbling across his mates problems. “Prongs.” And he was always the first to crack. “That’s it. Get up. Now.”

The other three-fourths of the Marauders looked up from their posts, curiosity written across every feature. While Peter was the tactless, clumsy one, he was not bold.

Right now, he was bold, and they knew to pay attention.

“Whatcha’ doin’ with him, Wormtail?” Sirius smirked from his bed. His tossed his chocolate frog away carelessly, far more interested in the happenings of his mates. He leaned his legs over the edge of his four-poster.

Peter ignored him. Instead, he rolled off his bed and pulled himself up to his full 5”5. He blinked across the room at James, who was peering out at him, half-hidden behind the scarlet drapes of his four-poster. He looked afraid to come out.

“We all know something happened between you two.” Peter narrowed his eyes; James squirmed; Sirius moved to see everything better; Remus smiled slowly at his nervous friend’s audacity. “So. You’ve two choices. One--” Peter held up a finger. “Sit here and enlighten your three mates with every bloody detail of what happened until they’re bored to tears. Or two--” Another finger. “Go find your Ms. Evans and apologize, discuss it all, and have everything okay again.”

James blinked stupidly.

Two minutes ago, he’d been sitting there on his bed, looking at the old, crumpled Transfiguration notes of Lily’s from fourth year. He was walking behind her on the way out of class one day and was amazed to see her throw it away, alone with a bunch of spare parchment; Lily Evans never threw away anything that she thought might be of use later. She kept every test, every note… probably all of her essays, too. But she was relating a story to Fanny at the time--something to do with her sister--so she must not have noticed. She’d never done well in Transfiguration, anyway, Merlin bless her. The notes didn’t even really make sense.

So James had jumped at the chance, and had cherished them ever since.

True, the Marauders liked to rib him about it, but he didn’t mind. Not really.

“Well?”

James glared at Remus. So, what? He was in on it, too?

“Sirius?” James looked over at his best mate, his brother. He expected a bit of help, at least.

Sirius shrugged, a smirk in place. He held up the Marauder’s Map. “Sorry, mate, I’m busy…”

James narrowed his eyes at him. Busy? Looking at the map? “Hmph.” Some mates he had… He scowled at the three, edging himself off the bed, to gather his cloak. He left Lily’s paper on his trunk.

“Gits.” he muttered, leaving the door open, which he knew they’d hate.

“He does realized you’ve just done him a huge favor, doesn’t he?” Sirius said aloud, looking around the room. The smirk remained.

Peter shrugged, climbing back onto his bed again. “It was just… maddening. Funny, but maddening.” He wasn’t feeling bold anymore. He was shy, nervous Peter again.

Remus laughed suddenly--throwing down his book.

The other two looked up in surprise. “What’re you up to?”

Remus looked up to Sirius, a hand on his stomach, still laughing. “Peter just yelled at James!”

There was silence for a moment.

Sirius grinned. “Cheers, Wormtail!”

“Prong’s face was kinda funny…” He admitted.

The three boys all grew serious for a moment, but it didn’t last long.

*

“Okay. I’ll see you all in a few days…” Lily leaned over to hug her friends, one at a time. “Be careful, okay?” They squeezed each others hands. “I’ll be at your house before the meeting.” Lily looked at Alice. “I promise!” She, Fanny, and Tyler all walked away together, waving at their friends, back on the platform. They were some of the only students remaining at Hogwarts for Christmas.

Severus Snape stood nearby, leaving moodily against a sycamore tree. It was cold out and he felt the ice against his thin shoes more than he should have. His breath came out in steamy puffs.

It was the last time the girl he loved would see one of her dearest friends, and it was his fault.

As if the girls had read his thoughts, Marlene turned around, in the doorway of the train, and Lily left the path that lead through the forest and to Hogwarts, to run back to her. They hugged once more, and Lily looked at her seriously.

“I just have this horrible feeling, Marly!” She whispered.

“Oh, Lily,” Marlene giggled. “You’re mad. I’ll see you back here in just a few days, you madwoman.” She winked and hurried onto the train, watching Lily leave over her shoulder. She waved once more and disappeared onto the train.

Lily turned around halfway up the path, and saw Snape just a few feet off. Her eyes went cold. It had been months since they’d spoken.

He lowered his head a bit, though didn’t take his gaze from her. If he had the guts, he would tell her how he truly missed her. He missed her amazing humor, her wild ideas, her fiery temper… He missed everything about his best friend. He loved her and wanted her back in his life.

But maybe… maybe it just wasn’t possible right now. Maybe someday.

For the second time since he’d been watching her, Snape wondered if she had heard his thoughts, for she walked very close to him, her beautiful green eyes bright over the golden scarf tucked around her throat. She was frowning slightly, but looking sad even more.

“Go on, I’ll catch you up,” she directed at Fanny and Tyler. They looked on disapproving as they passed by.

“I won’t bother you.” She said softly, so that he barely heard her. He almost doubted she’d said anything, but he saw the silver puffs of breath before her and knew she had. “I just wanted to say… I am truly sorry that you had to go and change so much,” Her eyes looked heavy and sad.

Though his heart ached and felt downtrodden at this statement, he had to look unmoved. But the look on her face at his next words hurt even more than saying them. “You mean, you’re sorry because you couldn’t, Evans.” He blinked, to keep his eyes from looking watery.

She took a step back. Her eyes closed. “Alright. We’ll keep it that way.” She opened her eyes once more, and sadness all but seeped from them. She looked stricken. “I hope that your “almighty” Lord discovers what a two-faced, lying, horrid bastard you are, Snivellus.” she bit out, though he had the impression she had difficulty saying the words. He had difficulty hearing them. “You’ll get what’s coming to you,” She whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“I could say the same,” He sneered, trying to keep up his hateful front. Oh, how he hurt.

She looked hurt, as well.

“No, you couldn’t.”

It was the last time they’d ever spoken.

*

She Says

Chapter Four: I Hope You Know

Author: ItsLily2u (call me Meg)

And when she said she wants somebody else

I hope you know

That she doesn’t mean you

--She Says, by Howie Day

&

Lily pulled her hair back into a ponytail, wiggling down deeper into the cozy armchair. She could possibly stay here all night. She glanced around the common room as she tugged a band around her copper curls, quite thankful the room was partially empty. She preferred it that way.

Fanny and Elyse were somewhere around, probably trying to finish up that incredibly difficult Defense essay, though it was more likely that they were doing something goofy and pointless, like playing Gobstones again. Eurgh, Lily could never see why people liked that game so much. The liquid stunk for hours and burned your eyes if it got in them.

The common room was oddly empty of the four Marauders. Lily found this shocking because the boys loved to be around people--thrived off the attention. Sirius did, at least. And Potter, that narcissistic git.

Merlin.

Lily’s eyes darkened as she remembered their conversation Sunday evening. They’d actually had a decent day--she’d seen him, he’d held the door open for her (and her friends), they’d eaten dinner sitting next to each other and he’d not thrown himself next to her, he’d been civil, polite, and knowledgeable all through the Head Meeting, and they’d had almost an entire conversation worth remembering. But then…

Just when she thought he may have grown up some, he had to ruin it. She gave him some credit--he no longer called her “Evans” in that childlike manner (though she did still call him Potter, Merlin only knew why), and, now that she thought about it, he hadn’t asked her out yet since that one time near the end of sixth year. But still! He’d dashed it all by reminding her how famous his family was, and rich. By reminding her everyone thought of her as boring, and of him as fun-loving and brilliant. By reminding her that her boyfriend had broken up with her five days ago with one of the lamest excuses she (or her friends) had ever heard. By reminding her he was a pureblood, and she wasn’t. By reminding her he had those obvious advantages over her, no matter how she might try… By reminding her how stubborn and arrogant he truly was, even if she had forgotten it all for a little while.

And ever since that night, he’d followed her around (like in the old days, she thought dryly), presumably to apologize. But he wouldn’t know what to apologize for, would he? Someone with an ego like his wouldn’t recognize the signs. He was hopeless.

So Lily had ignored him, basically, much like she had in years before. If he came walking up, she would go another way, just for fun; sometime he saw her disappear, sometimes not. She, for one, did not care either way. If he spoke to her, she replied, but all answers were terse, pointed, and gave nothing away. He had to be getting the point. She knew his poor friends were.

She was nice enough to them.

With a sigh, Lily heaved herself from her armchair. Sure, it would be lovely to stay there by the fire all evening, but… Apparently, it kept her thoughts on Potter.

And that was just too much.

She waved at Fanny, telling her she was going to the kitchens, since she’d missed dinner, and disappeared though the portrait hole without waiting for an answer.

Fanny waited a moment, then laughed. “I must say, I do wonder what goes through her mind sometimes.”

Laughing quietly, she went back to her game of chess with Marianne, with Elyse watching with interest.

Fanny could sometimes understand boys: they were pretty unpredictable, she understood that. Sometimes, they wanted one thing, sometimes another. She just learned to bat her sooty eyelashes and smile prettily-- it worked generally well, to get whatever she wanted, but she still didn’t fully understand boys, except that they broke hearts.

She usually understood Lily. She wasn’t too hard to get, you just had to listen to the thing she said, dig for a deeper meaning, and call her upon them later. You had to shake things up every now and again, and be mischievous. It’s just how Lily liked it best, though no one saw that side of her. Yes, for being her best friend after seven years, Fanny thought she understood Lily fairly well.

Now, take chess. It was Fanny’s expertise. She understood chess. It was solid--predictable--and very, very strategic. You just had to know your pieces, their strengths (and weaknesses), and how to direct your troops.

If only life were so easy.

“Look, it’s James Potter--and he’s looking for someone,” Elyse said suddenly. She smiled devilishly up at the lost Marauder. “A galleon says it’s a certain red-headed friend of ours.”

Mary giggled. “You’re on. It’s probably just a book he’s after. Or Black.”

“No, the others are all in the dorm, I saw them all go up,” Fanny whispered, joining her friends in watching James scan the room.

“Call him over,” Elyse giggled behind her hand.

“Oi! Potter!” Fanny smirked. “Have you gotten lost? Or are you looking for something?” She quirked an eyebrow playfully. “Or quite possibly-- someone?”

James crossed the room, cutting through a group of wide-eyed, ribbon-clad fourth years who eyed him hopefully. He didn’t notice. “What makes you say that?” He asked it as a legitimate question, almost looking guilty.

Fanny shrugged, still smiling. “Dunno. Just guessin’.”

“’Kay. Yeah. I am, then.” He looked shy.

“A someone or a something?” Mary jumped up in her seat, laughter in her voice.

“Well. A someone, I suppose.” Suddenly, James looked up, grinning handsomely. “She’s ‘bout this tall,” He held his hand up. “With green eyes, red hair. Head Girl. Very charming sort of lass. Avoiding me like the plague as of late. Seen her?”

Elyse cackled, her eyes sparkling. “Yes!” Mary shot her a look, knowing her exclamation had more to do with the fact that she won a galleon.

“She went for a walk,” Fanny supplied, smiling at him knowingly.

He looked crestfallen. “Oh.” He’d never find her in the castle--it was far too big. There was no telling where she went, or how long she’d be gone.

“To the kitchens.” she finished, at his look. She liked this Potter, though she wasn’t sure why. He seemed genuine… And she didn’t believe that waffle about him and other girls. There was no way. He was obviously smitten with Lily. Hogwarts had lots of people who liked to spread rumors, that’s all. “She left… about ten minutes ago. Should be getting there, just about… now.”

“Oh! Thank you, Fanny!” He flashed them each the trademark Potter grin--lopsided, bright, definitive--complete with sparkling hazel eyes. The three were taken aback.

“Wha--?”

“Wow,”

“Merlin--”

They watched him sprint to the portrait hole--then turn back-- “Fanny, just move your bishop and it’s a checkmate! I so owe you!”

Mary blinked, looking down at the chess board. “Urgh, Lily’s so lucky, and doesn’t even realize it.”

“Yet. Doesn’t realized it yet.” Fanny corrected. But she’d help her get there. This would be one of those mischievous things that Fanny did that Lily would love to do… it would just be a while until she figured it out. Any bloke was worth it if he knew chess better than Fanny.

“Do you think every guy smiled like that when he talks about his girl? Or is it just James? Because… damn.” Elyse blinked.

The three girls sat in silence for a moment, contemplating this, staring at the portrait hole. “Just James,” they all three said at once.

Fanny laughed, then prodded her bishop to move out of the way. Of course.

*

“Hi. Hello. How are you. Lovely evening, isn’t it? Evans? No! It’s Lily! Lily! Argh!” James threw his hands to his hair, pausing for just a moment before he went to the kitchens. “I should not call her Evans.” He smiled, pretending to greet the love of his life. “All right, Lily?”

“It’s best if you don’t practice.”

James whipped around, jumping nearly a foot into the air, his stomach flopping. Dear Merlin!

But it was only a portrait of a witch, about two meters away from his post. She had brown hair in perfect curls and smile at him with straight white teeth.

“Oh, yeah?” But she was a pretty witch. For a moment, James had imagined he’d been caught by none other than the illustrious Ms. Evans.

“Just trust me,” She winked and edged out of her portrait.

“Hm.” Maybe she was right. Ick.

Without another moment’s hesitation, James turned back towards the kitchens. He’d been close to the corridor, but had stopped just before he got there, to “practice” what to say to Ev-- erm. Lily.

He’d only just started to take the left that would lead him--eventually--to the kitchens when a timid voice called out to him.

“Potter?”

He felt his heart skip a beat.

She was coming from the direction of the dungeons… He eyed her curiously.

“What’re you doing?” they said at once.

Lily blushed. “I just turned down this corridor and I heard footsteps. I turned back and saw you… I was going for a walk. I now it’s odd, but… I almost like the dungeons, in a… mad--” James was highly tempted to say kinky, but didn’t think Lily would appreciate it much. “different sort of way. It’s not like the rest of the castle. My friends would laugh.” She smiled slightly, looking at the stone floor. “But what are you doing down here?” Slowly, green eyes met hazel. She twirled a piece of her coppery hair, almost nervously.

“Kitchens…” he said, which was half-truthful. After you, he added mentally.

“Ah.” She smiled.

“Would you like to… join me?” He was spared by embarrassing stutters or mumbles in his request this time. He smiled, feeling better.

“Well,” She hesitated. “I, erm…”

He should’ve known she would say no. She was still mad… for whatever reason, even if she wasn’t steaming at him right now. He cut her off right away.

“Lily, I want to apologize.” This shocked her. “We both know I don’t know what I said Sunday that made you angry, but I want to… apologize all the same. I didn’t mean to offend you and make you run off. I was just trying to talk to you. Really.” He look her straight in the eye, hoping she believed him. She had to. He really did mean it.

Lily stared into his eyes for a moment, then looked over the rest of his face; her features relaxed. “No, Potter, I should be apologizing.” She reached over to touch the wall, running her fingers over the cool stones, as if to have something to do with her hand.

James nearly fell over in shock. What?

“You’re right. We shouldn’t fight. We’re seventh years, practically adults. We’re the years Heads. It’s just hard admitting when you’re wrong, you know? I guess we just need get over our old differences, because I don’t think they’re still our differences anymore.” She smiled, dropping her arm to her side. He blinked, realized it was the first real smile ever directed at him. He’d received his first Lily Evans smile. “I’m actually,” she laughed quietly, “every bit as stubborn and persistent as you.”

They stood there for another moment or two, Lily smiling, James trying to recover shock.

“Right, then. I’ll accompany you to the kitchens, then, shall I?” She supplied after letting the impact of her confession sink in properly. She eyed him closely.

The look of astonishment faded, in place of a moment of uncomfortable shifting. Lily smiled.

“Well. I,” James blinked, his mind working furiously quick, or trying to. He was bloody miraculous when it came to making up lies! He’d done it a thousand times before with his mates, he’d had to, to protect the reputation of the Marauders! Why wasn’t it working now? “Erm. I had no, ah… intention… of eating.” He knew why. Because it was Lily Evans, the only girl he’d ever really thought was pretty, or intelligent, or amazing, or anything, really. He knew that.

Lily raised her eyebrows with a slight smile, looking as though she rather enjoyed seeing him at a loss for words. “Oh, so you came all the way down here, to…” She left the sentence hanging, waiting for James to complete it.

“See someone.” He sputtered. Why couldn’t he just lie?

“Really? Hmm. Like…? Like Slughorn? The Slytherins? Like--”

“The house-elves!”

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing. “That’s nice of you. I didn’t know anyone else went there to keep them company sometimes. Do all the Marauders go?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He looked relieved, though worried that she might not believe him. “Of course.”

Lily rolled her eyes, but laughed loudly. “You’re ridiculous, James Potter.”

James smiled a wide, comfortable smile. He hadn’t even come close to tricking her, but for once, it didn’t matter.

*

The two walked in silence, to James’s slight disappointment, but it wasn’t the kind of silence that you wish your way out of… Even though he did wish they were talking--about anything--he didn’t try. He wouldn’t push it just yet… He didn’t want any repeats of Sunday.

He was too bloody close to being her friend.

They had just passed the potions corridor (and the one that led to the Slytherin Corridor, not that James knew where that was) when Lily broke the silence.

“So…” She glanced up at James, looking timid. “You’re dad’s an auror, right? Tell me what your mum does. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

James smiled slowly. She was asking about his family. Wasn’t she?

“Well… I’m an only child… And mum, she’s a healer--only she does independent study, finding cures for hexes and curses and such. She just likes to help people… She’s really good at it. I’ve always thought--” he stopped suddenly, looking hurriedly at Lily. I’ve always thought you were just like her… He added, to himself. But he couldn’t say this to her.

“What have you always thought?” Lily asked curiously, pausing to look in an empty classroom. James watched her, thinking how innocent she looked peering around the corner, her hands clasped girlishly behind her back, her long hair spilling over her petite shoulders. He suddenly felt protective of this enticing entity that was Lily.

James smiled weakly at Lily’s back; she turned to look at him with interest. “Oh, erm, nothing… My parents were Head Boy and Girl in their day. It’s how they met.” He grinned now, thinking of his parents. Before their seventh year, they’d not ever spoken to each other--because his mum loathed his father so much. Today, they were in love more than ever.

“Really? They were in the same year?”

“Mm-hm…” James nodded. “Only mum is… seventeen days and nine hours older, I believe.” He chuckled. “She loves to hold it over his head.”

Lily smiled. “I like her already. My parents met in Germany. They ran into each other on a subway--literally. Then they found out they just happened to be staying with the same host family for some sort of college exchange program… weird coincidence. They‘re muggles, which I‘m sure you know.”

Both turned to walk down another corridor, smiling. “Mine were quite shocked when I got my Hogwarts letter this year--Head Boy, without being Prefect and whatnot. Mum thought Dumbledore put it in the wrong envelope--that he’s cracking. Dad couldn’t have been more proud, though.”

“I had to pretty much explain it all to my parents,” Lily sighed. “Which took the fun out.”

“I imagine,” James agreed. “But then, they were proud, right?”

“Oh, yes. They always have been. I’m the only witch in the family--that we know of.”

James smiled and watched Lily out of the corner of his eye. She was smiling to herself, as though remembering something very happy, a pretty little twinkle in her eye. James sighed at the way the torchlight highlighted parts of her hair, and the dark made others look even more mysterious.

Suddenly, Lily looked up, but James found himself unable to look away, as though held by a spell. She blushed lightly at finding herself under such an intense gaze, but the smile never left her face.

“What?” she laughed quietly. “’S there something on my face?” She started to lift her hand to her cheek, but never made it.

James knew the words were about to tumble from his lips… There wasn’t much he could do to stop them, except kissing her--and, however appealing, he knew he shouldn’t.

“Lily… y-you’re beautiful.” he breathed, brushing a curl from her eyes. He moved slowly, afraid of her reaction.

Slowly, the smiled faded away, giving way to a blank face. Closing her eyes briefly, she sighed. “Why… What do you want from me, Potter?”

James froze; he was already back to square one! Merlin!

“What--Lily, I just…”

Her eyes had gone wide and fearful. “We were doing just fine! Why would you… Why…” She swallowed, looking close to tears.

“Lily, I don’t mean anything by it--I just looked at you and thought it, so I said it! I’m sorry-- I--” James ran his hand over his hair nervously. He knew most girls loved to hear they were beautiful--Padfoot reminded him about fifteen times a day… But he also knew Lily was not like most girls. “I didn’t mean anything much by it…” he said quietly.

Lily took a deep breath and blinked. She shook her head. “Oh. Forget it. It’s more to do with Brandon. I’m sorry.” She bent her head, heaved a great sigh, then looked up, her eyes overbright. “It’s getting late.”

James nodded, unable to do much else. He was afraid to do much else, for fear of upsetting her. It was the last thing he wanted…

They turned, and without another word, walked back through the maze of dungeons, up seven floors in silence.

But once the portrait of the Fat Lady was in sight, James winced. He wouldn’t let her go away, mad at him.

He’d done it far too many times over the years.

“Lily--”

“Potter--”

James nearly laughed out loud, but he settled with a smile instead. Lily Potter? Hmm. He liked it.

Lily blushed; she seemed to have noticed it as well.

She took a step closer, and James held his breath. Merlin, she was close… Too close.

“I’m sorry about earlier, in the dungeons. I just…” She trailed off, shrugging. Suddenly, she looked away from the wall, and their eyes met. “Brandon, it really hurt what he did, and the things he said. And it just reminded me…” She trailed off once more, tugging nervously with a button on her uniform.

Her gaze still met his, in the longest, most intense look the two had ever shared… probably the reason she found herself at a loss for words.

James found his throat was stuck. He couldn’t talk or move; he longed to kiss her but knew she wouldn’t forgive him for that.

So he stared, unable to do anything else.

Until Lily shocked him by taking another step closer… She closed her eyes…

James still hadn’t moved. Was she…?

He closed his eyes just as Lily brought her lips to meet his.

Within moments, he knew he’d never kiss a girl quite like this. It was sweet and innocent… And yet… It was passionate and natural…

It was perfect.

Gently, James brought his hands to her waist, as her arms slowly would their way around his neck.

Merlin.

Without warning, the portrait hole opened with a loud creak, causing the couple to jump and break apart.

There was a moment of laughing, then silence. “Oi! Prongs, mate! We were wondering where you got off to! We were just coming to look after you, then go out to the--” Sirius stopped, only after a sharp jab in the ribs from Remus. He scowled. “What was that f-- Oh. Hello, Lily.” He smiled brightly.

Peter peered out from behind his two friends. “Remus and I tried to stop him.” He frowned at Sirius, who still grinned broadly.

“Ready to ah… hit the library, Prongs?” Sirius winked.

James ignored him. He was staring at Lily, who blinked for a moment at the Marauders, then up at James.

“Lily--”

“Don’t!”

She left him standing in the corridor, next to his bewildered best mates, one hand outstretched, mouth open wide, eyes fearful. In his mind, he could still see the pale, shaking, wide-eyed, sobbing Lily before him.

“Damn it!”

James threw his hands to his hair, pulling at it anxiously. What the hell had just happened? He backed into the wall and slid to the floor.

“Prongs?” Peter whispered.

“What just--”

“Did…”

James leaned his head against the wall, laughing slowly. “I’ve gone mad.”

“That was long ago, mate.” Remus admitted.

James chuckled.

“Did you two…”

“Have some sort of-- of-- corridor breakthrough?” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“She ran away, Padfoot. It doesn’t matter.” James sighed, his head back in his hands.

There were various sounds of excitement from his friends.

“You kissed?”

“You snogged her senseless, didn’t you?”

“Well, Merlin, Moony, judging by appearances, I’d say they did!” Sirius laughed loudly, but stopped at the sight of his friend. He cleared his throat.

“What’s that mean?”

Remus snorted. “Well. Considering the fact that you both looked guilty as Sirius in Dumbledore’s office, her hair was disheveled, her lips…” he blinked.

“Looked like they’d just been in for the best snog of her life!” Sirius cackled. “So, how was it? And I play off the guilt very nicely, thank you… Old Dumbles never suspects a thing.”

James smiled slowly, then sighed. “Well… we were just talking, and she kissed me--” Peter jumped in shock, Remus went wide-eyed, and Sirius laughed in excitement, “and after I got over that shock, it was…” He sighed, a grin creeping up. “Merlin.”

“But she did run away.”

Sirius looked through narrowed eyes at Remus, as James slid down the wall, to the floor. “Way to spoil it all.”

James’s heart was both soaring and breaking in a way he’d never known was possible.

*