The Potter/Granger Manifesto

mathiasgranger

Rating: PG
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 01/11/2007
Last Updated: 01/11/2007
Status: completed

Another take on the cliche of Hermione telling JKR what actually happened in the Harry Potter series. Not to be taken too seriously!

Chapters

1. The Potter/Granger Manifesto

1. The Potter/Granger Manifesto

Disclaimer: It’s JKR’s world, and frankly after what she’s done with it I doubt I’d want anything other than her money.

A/N: This is Hermione’s response to canon DH specifically with some other things also, but you’ll notice this is similar to my last one-shot ‘Stranger than Fiction’. This also takes recent interviews by JKR into account, and then takes everything on a trip of whimsy and wonder (In other words the story isn’t very good!)

‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’

Joanne Murray sighed as she thumbed through the few pieces of fan mail her editor and assistant had allowed through to her hands. She was nearing the end of her decade long Odyssey with Harry Potter, and the mail helped motivate her to write the difficult chapters of the story. She had just finished, what in her mind was the chapter that would put all of the silly shipping wars to bed and all she wanted to do was take a nice long hot bath and spend some time with her children.

After reading a pedantic letter from a young girl that spent half of it comparing herself to Ginny Weasley, she reached the last letter, although she could have sworn it hadn’t been there a moment earlier.

The paper was thick and yellowed; it reminded her of the parchment one of her characters would write a letter on. Her curiosity piqued she opened the letter and read:

Mrs. Murray,

I am writing this letter out of deep concern for the values you portrayed in your main characters during your last published book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Below is a list of issues I found most troubling.

-The pointless bickering between Harry and Hermione over the potions book. In the end they were both right about the book, and all it served to do was drive a wedge between your two best characters.

-Hermione’s childish games to attract the attentions of Ron. She spent five books as the emotionally mature one of the trio; suddenly she got sucked up into Ron’s tantrums about Viktor Krum.

-Ginny Weasley’s sudden ascension as a character. I have no personal issues with the character, but pairing her with her childhood knight in shining armor is an unhealthy lesson for young girls.

-The general quality of the characters and their interaction in this book, were the most stilted and unbelievable to date. I do commend your attempts at writing teenaged flirting, I just think what you define is flirting needs a bit of clarifying.

Thank you for your time,

Jane Puckle

P.S. I’ve always pictured you holding a letter of mine and saying ‘Mischief Managed’. Could you do so for me this one time?

Jo sighed as she finished the letter, the points brought forward were some of her own concerns for the book, but she was stuck between her outline and the way her characters had progressed. She hadn’t planned on Hermione being the only developed female character in the series, but she had stolen some of the scenes that Ginny was supposed to get, at least she thought so, simply because she didn’t like writing scenes with her.

Smiling slightly she held the paper in her hands and softly muttered, “Mischief Managed.” However, as she went to sit the paper back on her desk she felt the bizarre sensation of being tugged at her navel.

She landed with a thump on soft earth in very familiar looking campsite, the fire was low and the tents led her to believe she might finally be cracking under the pressure of writing her final book in the series.

One of the tents shook for a moment before a bushy haired woman climbed out of the front flap carrying on a conversation with a messy haired man who followed her a moment later.

“Honestly Harry, I told you why I needed to talk to her. Stop being such a coward and come out here with me, the least you can do is offer some moral support.”

Jo’s eyes widened and she knew now that she was having a hallucination of some sort, before her in the flesh were how she had always picture Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

Hermione smirked at the gaping woman before she sighed and waved her wand, conjuring up three chairs for everyone to sit in.

Jo plopped down into her chair staring at the ground and taking deep gulping breaths of air for several long moments, before she felt a calming sensation flow over her body. After another minute to gather herself she looked up once again and upon seeing the same two people she calmly asked, “And you are?”

Hermione smiled, “I am Hermione Granger-Potter, and the black haired devil next to me is Harry Potter.”

Jo nodded, “So you two are hallucinations then. I had assumed as much.”

Hermione shook her head, her bushy hair bouncing as she replied, “We are not hallucinations, and I assure you, we are quite real.”

Jo intelligently replied, “What?”

Hermione shared a glance with Harry before she answered, “Magic is a mysterious thing Ms. Murray, and as the daughter of squibs I would have assumed you knew that.”

Jo was speechless as Hermione continued, “It might not appear like it Ms. Murray, but I am 27 years old and Harry here is 26. We are sitting in a campsite that we used nearly nine years ago, but then again you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Jo really had no clue what was going on so she stated, “You can’t be real; I made you both up.”

Hermione laughed lightly, “Based upon a subliminal suggestion I planted in your mind while on a train ride when I was 15 years old you’ve more or less accurately written about the events that transpired during our first four years of school.”

Jo furrowed her brow, “But, it has been sixteen years since I first came up with the idea.”

Hermione nodded, “That’s true, but you weren’t brought here to discuss the mechanics of time travel with me. Needless to say, what I tell you is the truth, and if you take the time to look over your financial holdings, you will see several substantial deposits were made into an unmarked Swiss bank account by your publisher.”

Jo blinked, “But…”

Hermione just shook her head, “That really doesn’t matter Ms. Murray. Suffice it to say, Harry has been paid reasonably for having his life story told, and you weren’t brought here so we could extort more money from you. You’ve made out pretty nicely, and despite what many people might say, I know you are a good person. Actually, we brought you here to discuss the less than accurate version of events that you have written for Harry’s fifth, sixth, and soon to be seventh years.”

Jo frowned, “But, I don’t understand.”

Hermione sighed, “I gave you detailed notes for those years as they took place, so that you could be prepared for what happened and embellish enough to ensure the truth while having literary carte blanche. What I do not understand, is how badly you have messed things up.”

Jo looked perplexed, “Mrs. Murray, a simple memory modification performed by a competent adult wizard ensured that you though you had written those notes.”

Harry finally spoke, “This may seem like a stretch, but please hear Hermione out.”

Hermione smiled at Harry affectionately before she turned back to Jo, “This site was chosen for a very specific reason, because this is the site of my primary contention with what you are planning on writing for this setting. Namely, you settle the debate about who fancies me, and who views me as a sister.”

Jo nodded, “Yes, that’s true.”

Hermione continued, “Let me ask you Mrs. Murray, if you had a choice between someone like Harry, or someone like Ron who would you choose?”

Jo relaxed before she answered, “I dated a few Ron type characters in my youth. But, my husband is very much like Harry.”

Hermione nodded, “Exactly, and yet I am to assume my character would flock to Ron’s character, and while he was a dear friend of mine, I can assure you I would never enter into a relationship with him, for the very reason you assumed I would. We bickered Ms. Murray, because we have very different views of the world, and what is important in it. We could remain at odds and still be friends, but we could not have a relationship based upon that, I would have killed him before the first week was out.”

Jo didn’t know how to reply and Hermione took her silence in stride, “I sat in this campground nearly nine years ago and when Ron left, I did make a choice. I chose to link my life to Harry’s in a way I could never do with Ron. Harry and I married two years later, and we have had nearly seven wonderful years of marriage. There were no long nights of cold as I was miserable in the tent wailing about Ron. Harry came to me that same night and we comforted each other when it became evident that we were truly alone on the journey. We have shared a bed every night since then, whether it was in comfort, or in passion.”

Jo frowned, “But, it was always so obvious in the stories that you and Ron fancied each other. Ginny came along and Harry found his match.”

Hermione dropped her face into her hand with a groan before she said, “This is where you began to deviate from my notes. I don’t know why you did it, but let me clarify a few things for you.”

Jo nodded, somewhat bewildered by Hermione’s reaction. “Ginny has never been a close friend, and she never dated Harry. You did get that kiss partially right in sixth year, of course it ended when Harry pushed her away and I socked her in the face for forcing herself on him like that.”

Jo frowned, “But, Ginny is so feisty and passionate.”

Hermione chuckled dryly, “You do know Ginny had quite the nickname back at Hogwarts. She was called the broomstick, and not because she played Quidditch. I think it was Seamus who explained, that she was like a broomstick because anyone who wanted to could get a ride.”

Jo’s eyes widened, “But, Molly would never allow that.”

Hermione’s eyes danced with laughter, “Well let’s just say Ginny’s habits were a source of contention in the Weasley household.” Harry snorted at this point and Hermione swatted his arm.

Hermione shook her head, “Anyways, you did get Snape partially correct, but everything about him knowing Lily was completely fabricated. Severus Snape was obsessed with Lily Potter, and a master of the mind arts. He did give some memories to Harry, but they were all false and in the end it was proven that he was merely a vindictive man that held Lily’s rejection against Harry as much as any prank James might have pulled.”

Jo sighed as Hermione continued, “Dumbledore was actually killed by Draco Malfoy, although he couldn’t manage enough hate to kill him with his killing curse, however his blasting charm and the subsequent fall were enough to kill the headmaster.”

Hermione took a shuddering breath, “Malfoy manor and the events that occurred there were mostly wrong. I was tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, but that only made Harry angry enough to kill each and every death eater in the house. They were the first and last lives Harry ever took in the war. He was completely catatonic for a week, but only after he had determined that I would be fine.”

“Voldemort destroyed himself, and you got that right, for the most part anyways. Remus and Tonks survived the final battle, in fact as a pair they took down more deatheaters than anyone else. The twins both were injured, Fred lost an eye, and George lost all of his hearing in one ear. But, WWW is still going strong. Fred really enjoys his magical eye, apparently the pranking value of an eye that can see through pretty much everything is very high.”

Jo’s eyes were wide, while she was wearing a small smile at the mention of the Weasley twins, “Did anyone die that I have living in the book?”

Harry quietly chimed in, “Percy was killed as he pushed Molly out of the way of a killing curse.”

Hermione glanced worriedly over at Harry before she turned back to Jo, “Aside from that you were accurate in your depiction of the final battle. But, why did you make the changes from my notes in the first place?”

Jo blinked, “Well I thought they were my notes, so I took some creative license to finish the story like I wanted to.”

Hermione nodded, as Jo asked, “Where is Ron?”

Hermione shrugged, “No idea really, we haven’t been too close since he abandoned us during the horcrux hunt. He did catch back up with us, but by then Harry and I were more or less together, so he was a fifth wheel.”

Jo frowned, “You would cast aside your friendship that easily? You three went through so much together just for it to end like that.”

Hermione simply replied, “He was the one that cast us aside, and he even forced me to choose between my two best friends at the time. I don’t consider either of those things particularly friendly, horcrux addled or otherwise. In the end he made an assumption, and he blamed Harry when his assumption was proven wrong.”

Jo gaped for a moment before her mouth closed with an audible click, “Who are your circle of friends now?”

Harry jumped in again, “Neville and Hannah Longbottom are our closest friends, but we do keep in close contact with the Weasleys and the Lupins.”

Jo sat silently for a few long moments, assimilating all of the information with a fond smile on her face. Knowing that these characters were real people and apparently happy seemed to make the work of finishing the story inconsequential.

Jo looked at Harry and Hermione in a quiet conversation, their eyes locked and she cleared her throat before she asked, “Do you two have any little ones?”

Hermione’s face lit up and she spared Harry with a shy glance before taking his hand in hers, “I’m three months along with my first. I have an appointment with a healer next week to find out the sex and to do my first full check up.”

Jo smiled and quietly said, “Congratulations.” Harry and Hermione smiled and nodded before they lapsed into a comfortable silence. Jo broke the silence as she asked, “What are your careers, if you don’t mind me asking.”

Harry and Hermione shared a quick look before the raven haired wizard replied, “I earned my mastery in defense while I’ve been playing Quidditch as the starting seeker for Puddlemere United. My lovely wife here earned her mastery in Transfiguration and has taken over the Professorship at Hogwarts.”

Jo nodded, “Decided against being aurors then?”

Hermione answered, “By the end of the war, only a handful of the less dangerous death eaters remained, and frankly working for the ministry was not an option especially after everything that had happened.”

Jo nodded before Harry added, “Fawkes has joined us also, apparently he had somewhere to go for a few years and one day he just popped in on us as we were eating breakfast. He tends to spend a lot of time at Hogwarts, but his perch is at our place in Godric’s Hollow.”

Jo’s face took on an inquisitive look and Hermione nearly laughed as she added, “By the way, we found out in some personal diaries of Dumbledore that he had a rather illicit affair with Grindelwald in his youth. Not, that it would add much to the series to know that, but if you want to bring some positive press to the gay community there is your chance.”

Hermione sighed heavily after they shared a good laugh about Dumbledore, this conversation had taken a very strange detour somewhere, and in the end it had turned into something akin to a school reunion. “Mrs. Murray, as much as I’ve enjoyed this chance to clear the air and reminisce, Harry and I do have dinner arrangements with Neville and Hannah in muggle London.”

Jo nodded as she glanced at Harry, “Do I just repeat the same thing as before with the parchment in hand?”

Harry stretched as he stood up, Hermione vanishing the three chairs, “Yes Mrs. Murray, that’s all there is to it.”

Hermione added, “Of course you won’t reappear within sight range of anyone else, but yes you’ll be going back to your home.”

Jo nodded and before she said the magical words she asked, “Should I change the stories to match everything you told me?”

Hermione simply answered, “Originally that is exactly what I wanted. But, now that we’ve had a chance to talk, I think I’ll leave that completely up to you.”

Jo nodded before Harry added, “Have a safe trip Mrs. Murray.”

With a smile Jo nodded as she ended the most magical day in her life with two simple words, “Mischief Managed.”

A/N: Well this isn’t exactly the best story I’ve ever written, but my brain wandered onto a plot bunny and I chased it to the end with this one.