Never Too Late

Konflickted

Rating: G
Genres: Angst
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 7
Published: 20/11/2007
Last Updated: 20/11/2007
Status: in_progress

One-Shot/Song Fic: Harry lost everyone he ever loved in the quest to kill Lord Voldemort. Alone, he decides to take his own life to end his grief. His conscience comes, sounding and looking a lot like Hermione. Song: Never Too Late Artist: Three Days Grace

Chapters

1. Never Too Late

1. Never Too Late

Never Too Late

Summary: After the death of all those he knew and loved, Harry finds himself standing on a bridge, ready to end his life. Lord Voldemort was defeated, but at a great cost to Harry who is now completely alone. In his final moments, he battles with his conscience, which he sees as Hermione, back from the dead.

This world will never be

What I expected

And if I don't belong

Who would have guessed?

“I can't believe that I am up here,” Harry said aloud. He had taken to speaking his thoughts. No one really listened to them anymore anyways, so why not? Sometimes they made him feel not quite so alone. Sometimes was coming fewer and fewer times with each passing day, though, until it never came again.

“I can't believe you are up here either,” his conscience echoed, sounding so much like Hermione that it was scary. Harry looked around, never having had his conscience reply aloud before to him.

“Hello?” Harry asked as his toes wiggled around in the cool air that seemed to surround the bridge. Harry looked down to his shoes that were neatly placed on the ledge with him. He nudged one with his foot. “Hermione? Are you there?”

“No, of course not,” Hermione's voice said, clearly echoing over the air. Harry looked around wildly.

“God, you sure sound like Hermione, and aloud, too. Not just in my head the way that Hermione used to be,” Harry said. “For our purposes, could you please take the form of Hermione? That way I can at least see Hermione again in my final moments?”

“Fine,” his conscience sighed. Hermione appeared next to Harry in a translucent way, her hand covering her eyes. “Is this better?”

“Why are your eyes covered? Hermione was never afraid of heights?” Harry asked.

“I already told you, I am not really Hermione. I am your conscience, and I am trying to get you off this ledge and back into your warm, safe car,” Hermione said. “If anything, you are afraid of heights.”

“I play Quidditch. I can't be afraid of heights,” Harry defended quickly. “Why are you here? I am going to do it this time, really, I am.”

“I figured as much. You took your shoes and socks off,” Hermione said quietly. Harry looked over at her with narrowed eyes.

“What does my footwear or lack there of have to do with anything?” Harry asked.

“Everyone knows that only the serious jumpers take off their shoes,” Hermione said quickly as she took a peek over the edge of the ledge that they were both perched upon, waiting.

“Why?” Harry asked.

“I don't know. I am your conscience in the form of your best friend not an encyclopedia,” Hermione said as she pulled back from the edge. “Anyways, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't jump.”

“I am all alone,” Harry said. “Everyone I have ever loved died.”

“So is the way of life, Harry,” Hermione said.

I will not leave alone

Everything that I own

To make you feel like

It's not too late; it's never too late

“What does that mean?” Harry asked Hermione. She looked at him.

“What do you think it means?” Hermione asked him in response. Harry made a face. He hated when people answered a question with a question.

“I think it means I am still alone,” Harry said dully as he leaned forward to look at the distance between the ledge he was standing on and the jagged rock below.

“You are going to make a mess if you jump,” Hermione said as she too saw the rocks.

“What do I care? It's not as if anything else I have done has left a lasting impression on the world of magic. I still couldn't save them; I still couldn't save you,” Harry said as he fought back the tears that always seemed to be just below the surface.

“They weren't meant to be saved. It was their time,” Hermione said as she looked at him. Harry looked miserable.

“Could you try and pretend to be Hermione, instead of speaking in the third person? It's just a little weird,” Harry said. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.

“And talking to a figment of your imagination, your conscience in your best friend's likeness isn't weird?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, I guess, but still. Give a dying man a last request, will you?” Harry asked hopefully. Hermione sighed.

“Fine, Harry. You weren't meant to save me. It was my time. One day it will be your time, but that day is not today,” Hermione said. “You should put your shoes on and get back into your car, Harry.”

“I don't want to live the rest of my life alone if I can't be with you, Hermione,” Harry said quietly.

Even if I say

It'll be all right

Still I hear you say

You want to end your life

“Think about what you are doing, Harry,” Hermione insisted. “All of us gave up so much to make sure you were happy and safe and ALIVE. This is how you repay our sacrifice? By killing yourself?”

“How is it fair that I have to be alone, Hermione?” Harry asked angrily. “I have no one. Even my memories are fading.”

“They are supposed to, Harry. It is part of healing and moving on,” Hermione said quietly. “Do you really think we want to be dead? No. Of course not. We would all rather be alive. We would rather be there with you, Harry. But we're not, Harry. We are dead. You are the one who is alive, and you are going to throw it all away.”

Now and again we tried

To just stay alive

Maybe we'll turn it o'er

`Cuz it's not too late; it's never too late

“So, you see, Harry, you weren't the only one who failed? We failed you, because we couldn't survive the killing curse, like you,” Hermione said as tears spilled down her cheeks.

“What? No, you mustn't blame yourself, Hermione,” Harry said as he reached and touched Hermione's shoulder. For a translucent figment of his imagination, his conscience sure felt solid to him.

“I mean, it is why you are punishing us, right? Because we failed you?” Hermione asked as the tears continued. “I mean there you are, alone, and we are being punished because we died.”

“No, I am not trying to punish you,” Harry said quickly. He raked his hand through his hair like his father used to do. He nearly sobbed at the thought. His father was yet another person who had died to protect him.

“Then why, Harry? And telling me that you are lonely won't cut it,” Hermione asked. “If that was the case, you should get a dog.”

“A big black one?” Harry joked weakly. Hermione nodded, smiling.

“Being alone and being lonely are two different things,” Hermione said. “If you focus on the negative, then you are lonely. You can change loneliness.”

“It's too hard to see past this hurt, Hermione,” Harry said quietly.

No one will ever see

The side reflected

And if there is something wrong

Who would have guessed it?

“So, what? Pretend I am not lonely and I won't be? Pretend I didn't get you and Ron killed and you two will be alive?” Harry asked shaking his head. “No, it won't work. There is no way that it could ever work.”

“Harry, you can't bring us back, but you shouldn't be so quick to join us,” Hermione said quietly as she sat down on the ledge. Harry followed suit, not wanting to stand above her.

“I loved you so much it hurt inside,” Harry said as he clutched his chest dramatically. Hermione nodded.

“Do you really honestly believed I died without that knowledge, Harry? We all knew how much you loved us,” Hermione said. She took his hand and looked out across the landscape. “I hope you knew how much we loved you. It made the decision so easy, there was no second thought. We knew we had to stand between you and Lord Voldemort. Our love was enough to hold him off long enough for you to kill the last piece of that nasty soul. He killed us, you killed him. It was painless.”

“Not for me,” Harry confessed. Hermione smiled slightly and nodded.

“Never for you, Harry,” Hermione said.

And I have left alone

Everything that I own

To make you feel like

It's not too late; it's never too late

“You know, you still have time to climb off this bridge and leave,” Hermione told him as she begun to swing her feet slightly. She looked at him.

“I can't live like this anymore, Hermione,” Harry said desperately. He shook his head slowly as his own tears breached the wall he had around him. His fingers gripped the rough concrete.

“So don't live like this, Harry. But don't kill yourself, change your life,” Hermione insisted. “We loved you. Don't make our sacrifice be in vain.”

What we knew won't come back

The time we've lost

Can't get back

“I could never love anyone quite the way I love you, Hermione,” Harry said as he wiped his tears away from his face. Hermione nodded, understanding.

“You don't have to, but you will love again,” Hermione said quietly. “You're heart is so big, Harry. There is enough love in there for loving more than just me.”

“What if I don't want to?” Harry asked. “What if you are all I ever want to love?”

“If you die here today, you will never know whether or not there is anything else that you might want to one day love,” Hermione said quietly. “You say that you love me, but you refuse to live.”

“I can't, not with out you,” Harry said quietly as he hung his head in shame.

“I thought you loved me, really loved me,” Hermione said softly.

“I do!” Harry said.

“You couldn't possibly love me if you are willing to waste the sacrifice of my life for yours,” Hermione said coldly.

“No, Hermione, I do, I do,” Harry insisted.

“Prove it. Prove it to me, Harry, and get off this ledge. Get back into your car, drive to your flat and live a life rich enough for all of us,” Hermione demanded. “If you ever loved me, you will live a life full enough to have filled all our of our lives.”

“Ok,” Harry said as he stood to his feet. “I will do it, but only because I love you Hermione.”

“It's all I ask,” Hermione said as she watched Harry stumble.

“No, wait! I want to live!” Harry screamed as he plummeted to the jagged rocks below. He saw Hermione and Ron standing there, above him with his parents, Sirius, Luna, and Neville waiting. Ginny, Fred, and George waved welcoming him home. Harry felt his heart expand, first from love then from the impact of his body on the rocks below.

Life we had

Won't be because I care

This world will never be

What I expected

If I don't belong

“Life is often a painful journey, one sprinkled with love but swollen with pain. Sometimes it is life that overwhelms us into madness,” The Minister of Magic to the many who had flocked to the funeral of Harry Potter. “Today, we mourn the loss of one of our greatest heroes, Harry Potter.”

Song: Never Too Late

Artist: Three Days Grace

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