Undefined: Chronicles of My Relationship With Harry Potter

lillyfan16

Rating: PG13
Genres: Romance, Humor
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 4
Published: 16/03/2008
Last Updated: 20/08/2008
Status: in_progress

I can’t find the word to describe it. Does such a word even exist? How do I portray such bliss? Is that what this is? Is it ‘bliss’? Is that word even effective enough? I quickly flipped through the dictionary in my hands to find the correct definition of bliss.---> Hermione has a little trouble finding the right words to describe her relationship with Harry! Total fluff stuff.

Chapters

1. No Words

2. First Kiss

3. Jealousy

4. No Fairytale Dream Guy

5. I Am No Princess

6. Unreal

7. Soul-Mate

1. No Words

Hey guys, Archie here. So, I’m in this crazy lovey-dovey mood right now…it’s almost sickening. I feel so in love…crazy stuff. Anyway, so I decided to write something about it. This is from Hermione’s POV. The chapter it MAD short…but that’s how all the chapters for this story will be. I’ll probably get quite a few done tonight (I have 2 done at the moment), but this isn’t meant to be a long drawn out fic. It’s basically Hermione reflecting on her relationship with Harry and how things came about. Warning: very unlike a lot of most of my writing. This isn’t very detailed or anything, but, for Hermione, it’s so difficult to put details on love. It’s just…there.

I hope you enjoy!!!

No Words

“Not good enough.” I mutter, shaking my head. I can’t find the word to describe it. Does such a word even exist? How do I portray such bliss? Is that what this is? Is it ‘bliss’? Is that word even effective enough? I quickly flip through the dictionary in my hands to find the correct definition of bliss. Sure, I know what it means, but I want the exact meaning.

Bliss--noun:

1. supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment: wedded bliss.

2. Theology. The joy of heaven

3. Heaven; paradise: the road to eternal bliss

4. Archaic. A cause of great joy or happiness.

‘Heaven?’ ‘Supreme happiness?’ Were those words good enough? No, this is so much more. It is…it is…amazing? No…it is…

How can I depict the feelings he gives me? How can I describe all the flirting and dancing around each other? Gosh, we both knew what we wanted. He liked me, there was no doubt. He was so obvious. Was I that obvious? Some people saw it. We were just so close…it never felt weird to lean against each other or wrestle around for something as stupid as a picture. It was only a matter of time before our friendship became so much more.

Did he want it? Yes, yes he did.

Did I want it? Honestly, it scared the bloody hell out of me. He was my best friend! How could I just alter such an amazing friendship? What if it didn’t work out? What if things changed and--Oh Gods, I wanted it so bad! Who am I trying to kid?

Want? Does that describe it right? Did I want this? Or is it yearn? Need? Desire-to-the-fullest-extent?! Great Wizards!…words are so confusing sometimes!

‘Butterflies in the tummy?’ No…I never felt/feel those. He didn’t make me nervous. My palms always remained dry and cool. It is all so much more than that!

2. First Kiss

First Kiss

How can I describe that awkward first kiss? Oh, it had been so terribly…what? Awesome? Amazing? Cool? Nice? Bad? Compared to now…gosh, it was so bad!

Too quick. Romantic? Not in the least. We didn’t roll around in a tickle fight, stop suddenly when one of us was hovering over the other, then our mouths slowly but surely came together in one blissful moment of pure joy. No certain event caused overexcitement with both of us on opposite sides of the room, then us rushing towards each other as the crowd split with our eyes lit up and me jumping in his arms as he claimed my mouth in a lip-bruising kiss. There were no confessions of love and an epiphany of “Wow…you were right in front of me--the entire time! Oh Gods…I love you!”

Nope.

No fairytale first kiss. In a Muggle movie I once saw, a girl says first kisses should make your foot “pop.” The Princess Diaries was wrong. My foot did not “pop.”

It did make my head spin though. Not because it felt so nice, but rather, because it happened. Because I refused to look up at him during a very very (or maybe the right word is extremely?) awkward six or seven minutes of silence and waiting, with both of us wondering, ‘Am I going to kiss him?.’

I owed him five kisses, plain and simple. I put myself in debt to him, willingly. I asked him to stay with me while I made something for my parents. We were in the Library. A pick-up game of Quidditch was going on, and I knew the guys wanted him to go play. They expected him to show up.

But I wanted his company too. He was going to stay with me anyway, I already knew this. He was most definitely “crushing me.” He always stayed with me every chance he got.

Is that what it was? Was it a crush? Maybe infatuation? Love? Not, we weren’t in love.

I remember asking him to stay. He grinned at me and gave me a wink. “You want me to stay here with you?” he asked, the wonderful grin on his face I’d come to love.

“Yeah, something like that.” I had replied back, taking the bait to his invitation for a little flirting. He wanted me to say something like that in response. His next words weren’t a surprise, neither was my response:

“If I stay, will you give me a kiss?” he asked playfully.

I laughed. “If you stay, I’ll give you five kisses!” I winked.

I really wanted him to stay.

His eyebrows raised. “On the lips?”

I consciously bit my lip, praying I looked cute and innocent when I did it, “Yeah.”

He stayed.

I owed him.

But not in the Library of course.

I wasn’t going to kiss him in front of people.

At that point, I wasn’t sure exactly if I was really going to kiss him. I wanted to--I desired and yearned to.

I’d never kissed anyone in my life.

“You owe me five kisses now.” He reminded me.

“I know.” I replied, hoping I sounded suave and smooth.

“On the lips.” he pressed, making sure I remembered all the aspects of our bargain.

“I know.” I repeated, tossing in a grin. “Not here though.”

We left the Library once I finished my craft project, both fully aware of my debt. Neither of us knew if I was actually going to do it. We found a deserted corridor and just stood there awkwardly. Minutes of silence passed.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” He said, giving me a small smile. I could see it in his eyes he wanted it. Gods, I wanted it. Desired and yearned for it.

“I know. I owe you though.” I had replied.

Finally, when we both knew it was time to go, that it was a now-or-never thing, I drew closer to him. He’s not very tall, but at that moment, if felt like he towered over me. I can’t remember his face, but that’s probably because I looked everywhere but at his face. I was too nervous. Why was this such a big deal? Why did it really matter? It was just a kiss. Looking back at it now, I realize I probably looked ridiculous.

But I was nervous. Tense? Anxious? Hell, I dunno. I knew this kiss would change everything though. Finally, right when I thought I was going to turn around and run, right when I thought the now-or-never moment was passing by, I found my Gryffindor courage. I looked up at him, didn’t really notice anything about his expression or facial features because he looked blurry, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down to me.

I’d like to say I really “laid one on him.” That I “blew his mind” and “took his breath away.”

The kiss was horrible.

It lasted only half a second, just long enough for my lips to touch his. I pulled away quickly then leaned into him again for the second kiss. He leaned into me too, but once again, as soon as our lips touched, I drew away. This happened three more times.

It was over in less than six seconds.

I refused to look at him after the fifth kiss. I turned around and headed for the Common Room. He followed me.

“Wow.”

“I know!”

“That was amazing!”

“I know!”

“Wow!”

“I can’t believe I just did that.”

“It was fast.”

“I’ve never kissed a guy before.”

“So does this mean you’ll go out with me?”

I flash him a grin and pray I look cute before swiftly replying, “Of course.”

And that was that. We were an “item,” whatever that was. A couple?

Everything was different.

Nothing changed.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy

Where do I go on from here? We were just two teens crushing on each other. We hung out constantly. He really liked kissing me. The kisses were all much better after those first five. I let him initiate them from now on. We still hung out with all our other friends: Ron, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ginny, and everyone else. That was all the same. But everything changed. This was a first relationship for both of us. We started to spend more time alone as well.

According to others, we spent too much time alone, even when we weren’t really “alone.” A group of us would hang out, but I guess Harry and I would seclude ourselves away from everyone else in a way. Ginny complained to me constantly about how I ignored her whenever Harry was around.

I didn’t mean to.

It was a total accident.

Her conduct confused me because she always pushed me towards him, saying we would make a great couple.

It was a new thing for us, why couldn’t she accept it? She had other friends. Why did she have to have my attention all the time?

“You were my best friend, Hermione! Ever since you got with Harry, you’ve changed! WE were supposed to have a Girl Day today, remember!? NO boys! ALL DAY LONG! Just us girls! But no…we just HAD to meet up with Harry at Hogsmeade!”

“Ginny, there were plenty of other girls with us. I talked to Harry for what, FIFTEEN minutes!? What’s fifteen bloody minutes in a whole day?!” I argued back.

“That’s not the point!”

“Are you telling me you girls couldn’t entertain yourselves for less than twenty minutes without me?! I’m sorry, but he’s not only my boyfriend, but a best friend as well! I’m not going to ignore him all day long!”

I couldn’t believe her behavior. It had been ridiculous. After that fight with her, I honestly thought I may have lost a really good friend. I couldn’t understand her reaction then. Harry was first and foremost my best friend. Had we not been dating, I still would have stopped to say hi to him.

Ginny was jealous.

Maybe jealous isn’t the right word.

To her, I was a best friend.

To me, she was a really good friend.

She thought she was losing a best friend to Harry. I don’t think she understood Harry was my best friend, not her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girl to death, just…Harry was my first friend at Hogwarts. I’m closer to him than I am to anyone else.

I wasn’t sure she’d get over it.

She didn’t have a boyfriend herself, so I don’t think that helped matters.

I told Harry about my row with Ginny. He listened like any good friend would, and apologized because he felt it was his fault.

Silly boy.

Nothing was his fault. Everything I did was my choice. Ginny was just in fear. She’d get over it. And if she didn’t, then she wasn’t a very good friend to begin with.

Needless to say, she got over it about a week later.

That’s how girls are, I tried to explain to Harry. Half of us are bitches, even secretly to our best friends. We may say we wish the best for them, but if the “best” is better than what we have, our wishes aren’t very sincere.

If there’s any difference I’ve come to learn between boys and girls in my experiences, it’s this:

Girls don’t mind if things go well for you, as long as things are going better for them. Guys don’t care and don’t compare looks and other things nearly as much. They are a lot more unified than girls.

Maybe that’s why I’ve always had Harry and Ron as best friends.

They’re much more loyal than any girl friend I could have.

4. No Fairytale Dream Guy

No Fairytale Dream Guy

I realized early on in this relationship this was not a fairytale.

As a young girl, I always dreamed of my knight in shining armor coming in and sweeping me off my feet. He’d prove his worth, we’d fall in love, and live happily ever after. That’s how love is, right?

Wrong.

Romance novels and “chick flicks” I’ve seen told me I should play hard to get and make him work for my love.

I didn’t play hard to get. I loved him as a friend for too long to mess with his head with stupid immature mind games. I didn’t even know how to play hard to get. He knew how I felt. I wore my heart on my sleeve for all to see whenever he was around.

In the beginning of our relationship, I was a little apprehensive because this was not how it was in the movies. Our first disastrous kiss proved that. But whenever I saw him, I forgot all about the formalities of how love was supposed to go. I soon decided love was not portrayed right in the movies and television shows. And if it was…then that’s just not how love worked for me. I had to work with what was given to me.

He’s not perfect.

The model boyfriend is flawless. He would be the star player in a big sport. He would be popular. He would be tall, dark, and handsome. The nicest guy everyone knew. He would have the perfect body, with the perfect hair, and perfect straight teeth.

Harry has flaws. He often shares too much information with me. He has no shame when it comes to talking about what goes on in the restroom or the his male body parts. He is the star player on the Quidditch team though. His popularity often varies. One minutes he’s an insane boy, and the next he’s the Savior of the Wizarding World. He’s not very tall, maybe four or five inches taller than I am. His complexion isn’t pale, but when he gets some sun, he often burns. I think he would eventually tan if he was in it long enough. His looks aren’t considered “killer” to most girls, but he’s absolutely beautiful to me. He sometimes has acne somewhere on his face. He’s a nice guy, but can act like a jerk to people some times. His body isn’t perfect. He isn’t toned. His muscles don’t bulge. He has slight stretch marks on his sides from growing. He has a six pack; I’ve felt it before. It’s not visible though. A layer of fat covers it. His dark hair is always messy. His teeth are perfectly straight though…but aren’t always white.

But I adore his teeth.

And I love his always-messy dark hair. It’s kinda bumpy and feels nice when I play with it.

And his soft belly. It’s comfortable to lay my head on.

I love his imperfect body. His light complexion and even his acne doesn’t bother me.

I get upset sometimes when he acts like a jerk to people, but it’s never to me, so I don’t mind too much. He always realizes his behavior and apologizes. Sometimes it’s sincere, other times I think he just does it for me.

I don’t care that he’s not tall. Our heights compliment nicely. He doesn’t have to lean down too much to kiss me.

I don’t mind he’s not the most popular guy in the world. I just hate when people look down on him when he doesn’t deserve it. It pisses me off.

I love that he plays Quidditch. I hate watching sports. I love watching him though.

I used to get weirded out when he told he had to “go take a crap” or “he realized while he was taking a crap that” or “he was laughing so hard he puked in the washroom sink.” When he first told be he had a rash on his butt, I raised my eyebrows in alarm. It was all rather uncouth of him to tell me all this.

Now I don’t mind.

I love he’s comfortable enough to tell me these kinds of things. I love that he’s comfortable enough to let me share things with him as well, especially when he asks me about them.

Like my period. He’s so ignorant of the female body. I love the curiosity he has, even when he’s asking uncomfortable questions.

He’s not perfect.

He’s not the ideal dream guy.

But he makes me smile.

His mere voice brightens my day.

His perverted words make me laugh as well as roll my eyes.

I can’t begin to describe what he does to me.

I realized he doesn’t have to be the perfect guy.

His imperfections make me love him even more. They make him different from every other bloke.

They make him Hermione’s Perfect and Ideal Guy.

Right so, I just wanted to let everyone know reviews AREN’T unwelcome. I actually love them. And would really appreciate a few. I also just want to address something real quick as well.

This story is different. This story is weird. Some might even say this story is OOC. Okay, I’ll go with you on all of that. BUT, in my defense, let me say this story is about what REAL love is. What real, TEENAGE love is. There are lots of stories on PK that, in my personal opinion, portray the love as too mature. I realize that is the kind of Harry/Hermione love everyone loves so much. But is it actually realistic? In my experience, love is not like that at all. I realize the HP characters had to grow up fast, but that doesn’t mean everything about this is mature. Love takes time to mature. I really hate when stories have the couple “suddenly realize their in love” because “Hermione has just always been there for Harry” and because of this, the two of them need to just “go shag right this very second!” Oh honestly, let’s not be ridiculous. You don’t say “I love you” one minute and jump in bed the next.

Anyway, sorry…I just wanted to mention that. I know lots of people won’t like my story because it’s not the cliché Harry/Hermione relationship we all love, but…well…that’s okay. I’m just trying to portray how imperfect yet powerful love is.

For those of you who agree with me, “right on!”

For those of you who don’t, well, I’m sorry you were so unlucky where you didn’t/don’t get to experience how amazing the mistakes/imperfections in love are/can be!

Er…that’s it, I suppose.

Please review!

*~Archie~*

5. I Am No Princess

I’m No Princess

I’m not perfect either.

I have plenty of faults.

My looks aren’t exactly the greatest. I mean, I’m okay, but not stunning.

Harry seems to think I’m stunning though. He’s always greeting me with cute pet names like “Hey Gorgeous” or “How ya doin’ Sexy?” Even when I know I look terrible.

I like that he does this. It’s given me so much confidence. I don’t even worry about him looking at other girls. Even when I know I’m outshined by many, I still feel like the most attractive girl in the room in his eyes.

I’m brainy.

I’ve come to terms with this. I love learning and studying. I wish for others to do as well as I do, especially Harry.

So I nag him sometimes.

He never nags me, so I feel bad about it, but I can’t help it.

He doesn’t seem to mind much though. He’s actually going through great lengths to change himself for me. His marks used to be average, but ever since we’ve started dating, his marks have been increasingly improving. His goal is top marks in every class this term. I think he’s going to make it. He’s trying so hard to impress me…if only he knew just how proud I was of him already. He’s accomplished so much in so many aspects…I don’t see how anyone could have a reason to not be proud.

I’m not very glamorous either. I rarely take the time to put on makeup. I like to sleep too much and don’t have a whole lot of time in the mornings. But sometimes I try to make myself look beautiful for him. He says I look great either way, and don’t really need makeup on. Sometimes I feel plain next to the other girls. Sometimes I realize I must look a little ridiculous when I’m wearing one of his hoodies I’ve stolen that are too big on my frame compared to other girls in the corridors wearing more fitting clothing. Or when my hair is a complete mess. I used to have long bushy hair. I chopped a lot of it off for a nice change. Now I just have shorter bushy hair. It’s okay I guess.

My body is average. He thinks I have an amazing body. Ha! Yeah right…but his love for me has boosted my confidence in body. I like this a lot. I used to be so insecure. I wasn’t stick thin like the other girls. I had some acne here and there on occasions. My tummy isn’t toned, neither are my legs. My breasts aren’t really big, but they’re aren’t really small either. I have no ass.

He loves my size. He loves my face. He loves to play with my tummy. He talks all the time about how he loves my legs. He says my breasts are the perfect size. He says my bottom is one of his favorite things on my body…along with everything else, from the split ends of my busy hair to the tips of my toes.

I never let him win an argument. I refuse to let him win. Every time he tries to make a point I don’t agree with, I counter it. When he tries a new tactic, I snuff that one as well. He loves winning arguments. I don’t think he minds losing too much against me though. I hope not anyway.

I get in moods where I just don’t like people sometimes. He’s been one of those “people” once or twice. He said it scared the bloody hell out of him. Poor Harry. I felt so bad. It almost made him sick. Great Wizards, I felt so terrible. He said he’s scared I might feel like that again and the feeling might not go away this time.

I take that back, I still feel bad.

I think his favorite thing about me is my ears. Because I use them to listen. He has a lot of issues and problems he has to deal with. He always needs someone to talk to. I’m always first on the list. I actually think I’m the only one he talks to about a lot of things. I don’t mind. I like the special bond we have. There are things we’ve only told each other. Anything I swear I’ll never tell anyone I always pour out to him and vise versa. I have no secrets when it comes to him. He knows everything about me.

And still loves me.

I love this too.

I love the way he loves and accepts everything about me. Every flaw and fault. Every annoying quality is absolute perfection in his eyes.

Gosh, I love him.

So? Like it? I might have a new chapter out tonight, I’m not sure. If not tonight, then probably tomorrow. I just had the title…but I can’t remember what it’s called…oh well.

Review!

6. Unreal

Unreal

Sometimes it’s hard to believe I’m in this type of situation.

I never thought I’d be the person someone lavished such affection on. I never thought I’d be in these shoes.

Who knew I’d basically be the thing someone’s world seemed to revolve around?

Who knew someone could desire--yearn--for my presence the way he does?

It’s…unimaginable. Unbelievable.

Completely extraordinary.

Our relationship is so…simple.

It’s quite ridiculous really. No one else really understands how we don’t really fight. We haven’t even had our first “lover’s quarrel” and we’ve been together for quite a long time. We’re so alike and similarly on so many things…there isn’t much to debate about.

Everyone calls him “whipped.”

He admits to it proudly with a wide grin on his face.

The boy has no shame, honestly!

I know he’d do anything I asked of him. It’s absolutely scary mad how I have that sort of power over him. (I don’t take advantage of it by the way.) And why? What’s so great about me?

I don’t understand it.

I can’t comprehend it.

How do you have such feelings for someone? How did we even come together?

Relationships were always something I had difficulty understanding. I mean…it takes the effort of two people. How do those two people meet? What if you never find someone who feels that way about you? What if you wait forever, hoping someone would think you were cute enough, smart enough, funny enough to be a potential a girlfriend? What if you’re just not good enough? I never had a boyfriend before. I always thought I fit in that category. I always thought I would be the one living alone when I’m forty with seventeen cats. I always thought I’d hate Valentine’s Day for the rest of my life. What’s so good about a lovey-dovey holiday when you don’t have anyone to share it with?

This year, I realized why people love Valentine’s Day so much.

Ever since we started this “thing” between us, I became accustomed to putting in effort to look good for someone. Then I realized I looked good enough without trying to look good.

I realized he thought I looked adorable in baggy sweats and his oversized hoody.

This relationship has opened my eyes to so many new thoughts, feelings, and desires. I’ve spent many nights laying awake in my bed, fighting the sleep I know I need, just so I can keep thinking about him. About us. Our relationship has tested my boundaries and morals. It’s changed my ways of thinking on a lot of things: life, love, sex, dreams, youth, the world. The list goes on.

Sometimes I get afraid though. Sometimes I feel things are just too good. Things are just too simple. Things are just too beautiful and fantastic and amazing and blissful and all those other words that can describe how over-the-top happy I am. It feels like a really wonderful dream. This incredible feeling will surely go away once I wake up.

But I don’t think about that too often. I focus on the positive. I have so much…why worry about it ending?

It’s something we hate talking about. Ending this. We both decided there are only a few different reasons why it would be over between us. I said if he ever cheated on me, or hit me, it’d be over. He said if I ever cheated on him, it’d be over as well.

Nothing else comes to mind.

Neither of us are the cheating type. Does that mean we’ll be together forever? God knows we’ve talked about it. He’s sure we’re going to get married. He’s planned our future out. I like what he sees. But at the same time, do I only want to experience one relationship in my life? Who meets their soul mate when they’re eleven years old? Aren’t we supposed to go through different experiences? Shouldn’t I know what it’s like to have a broken heart after a great relationship?

I want to know the feeling. I want to experience it. But at the same time, I don’t want to. I don’t want to if it means I have to give him up. I see how hard it is for people in movies and people around me…when I think about it, sometimes I think it wouldn’t be so hard.

So we’d be done.

Over.

No more hugs and kisses and late night talking and no more best friend.

I could move on, right?

People do everyday.

But…

Can I really?

Great Wizards, it almost sounds so easy…but I know it’d kill me.

And it’d kill him too.

I almost want to experience it just to find out about myself. What sort of ex-girlfriend would I be? Would I stalk him? Would I get jealous when I see him with other girls? Would I try to get back with him?

And I also want to see what sort of ex-boyfriend he would be. Would we still be best friends? Would he follow me everywhere, relentless, and try to work things out?

Most of me hopes I never have to find out.

Part of me is curious though.

And that scares me.

I’m too content to worry about this. I shouldn’t think about breaking up. I like how I feel now. I love the security and love and all the cutesy things he does for me.

Because what we have is great.

The best.

It’s changed both of us and made us better people in most aspects.

The envy I used to feel when listening to love songs and watching romance movies is all gone. Now the songs just make me smile while I my mind drifts to thoughts about him. The movies make me scoff.

What I have is so much better.

Hey guys! Well, I hope you liked it! I would like to post again tonight maybe, but I’m doing a research paper at the moment (this was a good distraction), so I dunno if I’ll actually get to it. But I should at least have something soon though. Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcomed…liked…hell, I’m not gonna lie…I LOVE them!!!

Hehe.

*~Archie~*

7. Soul-Mate

Hey hey. So I’m just sitting here, kinda bored, so I thought I might write down a few lines for you guys, in case anyone else was bored too. Um…This one is kinda inspired by “Soul Mate” by Natasha Beddingfield. Well, enjoy!

Soul-Mate

Soul-mate.

A companion for life.

A life partner.

Such strong meanings.

Can two people really be destined for each other?

Call it Fate, call it Destiny…call it whatever.

Does it really have a role in love? I don’t know why it wouldn’t. I mean, love is a big aspect of life.

But to really only have one soul-mate in life?

Honestly, look at the divorce rate. Look at all the failed marriages of people who thought they found their “soul-mate” but never really did.

Or maybe they did find them, and it just wasn’t the time to be with them.

I mean, what if the person destined to be with you is in your life, and you didn’t even know it? Or what if you never really thought of someone as soul-mate material, more of just a fling, but really, they were the One? But because you thought of it as a fling, the relationship didn’t last.

Where does that put you for the rest of your life? Maybe things would have worked out if you waited until you were both more mature, and then you can have that soul-mate love.

What if you don’t get a second chance?

I think about this a lot, probably more than I should.

I’m No Nonsense Hermione Granger—why am I so worried about my love life? Why can’t I just be happy with what I have at the moment? Why do I have to worry so much about the future?

Because I don’t want to muck up my one chance with my soul-mate…that is, if soul-mates really exists. I’m not sure where I sit on that yet.

What if Harry is the One?

Or worse—what if he isn’t?

I don’t really want to be with another guy. There isn’t anyone I want more than him. But what if something happens and we break up? Or what if something never happens, we stay together forever, but aren’t really soul-mates?

This is all so confusing. Love is confusing.

Yet our relationship is so simple.

Soul-mates…

Entwined destinies…

Forever…

All these words have almost uncomprehending meanings.

Another thing.

Say me and Harry are soul-mates.

Is it fair to have found each other so early? I see in movies and TV shows and books all the time people dating many different types of people. Diversity. And because they date such an assortment of people, they find their “type.”

I’ve only dated Harry.

What if he isn’t really my “type.”

What is a “type” anyway? Someone who has the qualities you’re seeking in a lover? How many qualities do they have to have to be considered your type? What qualities do I look for in a lover? All I’ve ever had is Harry, so I don’t really know what else to look for. I don’t know what I’m missing out on, that is, if I’m even missing anything. I don’t think I am. Harry has everything I could ever ask for.

I think.

He’s kind, and charming…he makes me laugh and shows me he cares for me a great deal…we get along quite famously…

We talk about getting married all the time. He’s asked me to marry him more times than I can count. We’ve planned how we want our wedding and even picked out appliances we might want and gadgets for our future children.

But what if we aren’t soul-mates?

What if there’s a more deserving girl out there for him…someone who will make him happier than I could.

Do I want him to be happy?

Yes.

But could I let him go, to find someone I think he may be happier with?

I dunno.

Soul-mates or not, I wish for us to be together forever, even if it means we miss out on the fun dating scene. Even if it means we won’t get to learn through other experiences with other people. Even if it means he’s the only bloke I’ll ever snog.

No one can love him like I can, no one ever will.

I don’t think I’d even give any other girl the chance, no matter how much of a better match for him she may be than I am.

Review!

*~Archie~*