Let Me Enlighten You - Harry's Assessment

A/N: So, here is a companion piece to Let Me Enlighten You - Hermione's Revelation. Please see the note at the end of the story regarding the possible third piece.

FAIR WARNING: Neither character may be portrayed as some Harry Potter fans seem fit. This story takes place after Hogwarts; therefore we really don't know how the characters would act in their `adult' life. No, I'm not taking into consideration the epilogue of Deathly Hallows; for the mere fact that H/Hr didn't happen and consequently we don't really know how their personalities may change had they been together. (Thank you, JKR, for screwing that one up!)

Enjoy this piece of mindless fluff! - Rated R for language and sexual innuendo.

Let Me Enlighten You - Harry's Assessment

Hermione Granger makes me feel insatiable.

Have I ever been able to deny her anything?

No!

Let me enlighten you.

She's sitting at my kitchen table, lifting a beer bottle to her mouth, and it quickly becomes clear. Hermione Granger is fucking hot! Currently, she's making my blood boil.

It's been two nights since that damn Witch Weekly quiz; the one that caused me to use a silencing charm on my room that night, for fear she would hear the grunts and groans caused by my self-gratification.

How fucking pathetic is that? I have a woman that I find gorgeous, staying the night at my house, who causes me to have the most satisfying arousal I have ever experienced, and I end up wanking off! What the hell is that all about?

Oh, I know the reason why. It's because I am a (insert annoying, sissy voice here) decent guy.

Could someone tell me why I am feeling this sexual attraction to her now? You know, it's not like she's changed outwardly in the past several years. She still has days where her hair is bushier than usual. Her clothing style is really no different. Her smile still lights up a room. Her breasts are still pert. Her legs are still long…gah!

I feel slightly dirty for my new musings, but not dirty enough to stop. It's almost like finding a naughty magazine or porno video when you're underage. You know you shouldn't look, you know it's wrong, but your fascination about it is too strong to look away.

Her plump lips, the way they wrap around the rim of her beer bottle as she takes a swig; it's enough to stir an erection. Never before in my life have I wished to be a beer bottle. Right now, it's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

Okay, I guess a part of me has always been attracted to Hermione, but it's always been a safe attraction. Her personality and heart were enough to draw me to her, but never cause a reaction like I've experienced the past few days.

Does that make me a pig?

These are the times when I wish to hell I had a male friend. Ron doesn't count. The only part of him that thinks when he's with a woman is his dick. Plus, it would just be really strange to discuss a sexual attraction to Hermione with him. I'd almost feel like I'd be talking to him about his sister. No, definitely not an option!

I guess if I think about it, a sexual attraction was really the only thing missing from my relationship with her. We have an emotional bond that's practically unbreakable and a magical bond that really has never been explained. What's left except for sex?

Now, we seemed to have a nice little flirty thing going on during that quiz she gave. Maybe it's my turn to initiate something, but nothing too pushy.

Dear Merlin, her eyes are gorgeous. I could, quite possibly, become lost in those dark depths for hours. I wonder what her face looks like when she has an orgasm.

STOP THAT!

Potter, get a grip before you blow your load right here at the kitchen table. That would certainly call for an uncomfortable explanation.

I wonder if she's a screamer or a moaner, kinky or conventional, dominant or submissive.

Bloody hell, my jeans feel like they're two sizes too small!

Ron in a mini skirt, Ron in a mini skirt, Ron in a mini skirt…

Whew, that did it!

Damn, she's looking at me! How long has she been looking at me? Ack, she's smirking, like she knows this big joke that I have yet to be let in on.

“Take a picture, it will last longer.”

Damn, damn, damn! Okay, she knows I've been staring. It's not something I can lie about (because, with her, I suck at that). “I was just wondering what my beautiful witchy friend wanted to do tonight.” Awe yeah, she's blushing. And from such a simple statement! Smooth, Potter, smooth and suave; I didn't know I had it in me!

“I'm fine simply being here with you, Harry.”

If I didn't know better, I'd think she was trying to come on to me. Yes, there was a definite husky tone to her voice. Suddenly, a brilliant plan forms in my mind. We need to pick up where we left off, but move up a step from a generic quiz. “We should do a question and answer game.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was thinking it could be fun to ask strange questions and see what kind of answers came out.”

“Okay, that sounds interesting.” She was agreeing quickly and enthusiastically. Score 1 for me!

“You go first with a question.” Hey, I thought of the idea. Plus, she's my guest so it's only hospitable to let the guest go first. This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm strangely nervous…an emotion I'm not used to feeling around Hermione.

She bit her lower lip, an act I have come to find adorable, looking like she was trying to think of a decent first question. “What's the strangest thing you can do?”

I hesitated for a moment, not sure if I should reveal the first thing that popped into my mind. “I can do something truly disgusting with my tongue.”

“Is that a fact? Let's see.” I opened my mouth and began to slither my tongue, almost like a snake. I then proceeded to curl it three different ways. She watched intently. “Interesting,” she smirked. “It's your turn.”

“Do you have any hidden talents?” Yes, I'm an uninventive chicken shit who steals other people's questions. Do you have a problem with that?

“You mean, besides magical?” I nodded and noticed she brought her thumb to her mouth, biting the tip nervously. “Well, there is one thing that I'm able to do…that showcases…well, it…it's hard to explain.” I continued to look at her, encouraging her to continue. “I can fake an orgasm…even though I've never properly experienced one.”

I know for a fact my eyes bulged at the mere thought. My mouth was slightly opening but no sound was coming out. Then, confusion happened. “Wait, I thought you said you've had sex before.”

She was blushing now. Why, I have no clue. She just admitted to being able to fake an orgasm and now she has something to be embarrassed about? “It's a bit difficult for some girls to enjoy their first time because of how painful it can be.”

The only thought that crossed my mind was finding out the name of the bloke that denied her pleasure after taking her virginity. What a damn selfish prat! The least he could have done was gotten it up a second time for her sake. Wait, what am I saying? This leaves the door wide open for me! I could be the one to give her the long-awaited first and proper orgasm!

“Harry, are you okay?”

Damn, I did it again! “Sorry, spaced out,” I mumbled. Yes, I am pathetic. “Well, what are you waiting for?” I grinned widely, not able to contain my excitement for what I was about to witness.

She lightly laughed, her eyes closing while she tried to put herself into the right state of mind. Before I knew it, the most glorious sounds were escaping Hermione's mouth. Pants, moans, and pleasurable cries of ecstasy…it was all there. I watched as her hands ran through her hair. Her face contorted into expressions that matched the heavenly sounds. All I could do was sit and watch, wondering how someone who had never experienced this pleasure could recreate it so well. I gulped, feeling my body responded to the site and sounds before me. All I could do was hope that she would finish soon. Then it came, her final cry to signify the nonexistent release.

She quickly opened her eyes. “There's my hidden talent.” Her voice was quiet, but she actually seemed quite pleased with herself. “It's my turn, right?”

I could only nod, not trusting my voice. I quickly grabbed my beer bottle, knowing that I needed something to quench the thirst I was feeling but knowing that beer was the last thing my body desired.

“Why do they call it a blow job?”

I quickly spit out the beer. I shouldn't have been shocked by the question, but for some strange reason, I was. Even though I was seeing Hermione in a different light, there were still certain actions and words that I would find almost taboo coming from her.

“Well, I mean, honestly. Is there any blowing involved? From what I've heard, it's mostly sucking and licking.” I know she had to notice my eyes widening even more, if that was possible. “Really, I was just curious to know.”

And, although it seemed rather awkward, I decided to take it all in stride. After all, this game was my idea. I must suffer the consequences. “Well, yes, there's mostly …uh, suck...lick…that stuff.” Then again, accepting my fate didn't mean my speech would magically turn eloquent. “Actually, I don't know why they call it that,” I finished softly.

“Haven't you ever had one?”

“Uh…” My mind was reeling, and then quickly snapped back to top form. “You can't ask me another question yet!” I smirked in triumph, watching her slightly pout at my quick thinking. “Let's see…oh, I know a good question!” Since we seemed to be following down a perverted path, I wanted to keep it going. I was slowly becoming more comfortable with it. “Have you ever been caught pleasuring yourself?”

It was now her turn to spit out the small amount of beer she attempted to swallow. “Harry James Potter! I…I…what kind of a question…?” I continued to stare at her, trying to read her mind. “I haven't been caught, but I have been unknowingly interrupted. You know, knocks on the door…things like that…”

I listened as her voice grew softer, relishing in the fact that teenage girls also had to deal with awkward masturbation moments. Then, she fidgeted a bit, and I wondered if I had gone too far.

“Have you ever had a blow job?”

I felt myself relax and stiffen at the same time. I never knew that was possible. I looked her directly in the eyes, seeing a hint of devilishness invading the usual innocence. “No.” I had to grin slightly when I noticed that a very small smile crept over her lips, but she quickly dismissed it and looked at me expectantly. I realized it was my turn and a naughty thought crept into my mind. “Who took your virginity?”

She shifted uncomfortably. A part of me wondered if it was Ron. He had never said anything to me, but it's not like it would have surprised me. After all, they did date sixth year. Maybe he thought she would hex his balls off if he told me. Maybe she did threaten to hex his balls off! I felt a nauseous pain in my stomach, suddenly wishing I hadn't asked the question.

“I'll tell you who if you tell me, at the same time, who took your virginity.”

I mulled over this offer, thinking that I might miss Ron's name with the sound of my own voice interjecting. “That seems fair enough. On the count of three; one, two, three…”

“Oliver Wood.”

“Katie Bell.”

We stared at each other in shock, allowing our answers to sink in. Then, before we knew it, we were laughing at our admissions. Once I was able to contain my laughter, I had to state the oddness of it all. “How fucking weird is that? We lost our virginities to people who are now married to one another!”

“Sweet Merlin, Harry, I don't know what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't that!”

“Me? What about you? My former Quidditch captain deflowered my best friend.” Even though it was a weird thought, I did feel a sense of relief that it wasn't Ron.

“How often do you masturbate within a week's time?”

I can't explain it, but this question made me blush. Guys may talk about it with one another, but it's not like we make it a practice discussing spanking the monkey with the opposite sex. Still, I had to remind myself that this was my idea. Not once did I state certain subjects were off limits. “Well, I'd have to say, in a normal week…five times.”

“It is a decent stress reliever.”Her eyes began to wander around the room as I nodded in agreement. Really, what else can you say to that admission?

“Have you ever watched and porno and if not, would you ever want to?” Believe me, there is a method to my madness. Contrary to popular belief, there are some decent porno videos out there. Besides, I think it's built into the genetics of most guys to enjoy partaking in the viewing of at least several porn videos during a lifetime.

She didn't initially react like I thought she would; which I was almost sure would be shock and outrage. Rather, she sat for a moment and seemed to be genuinely contemplating her answer. I just hoped that her answer wouldn't involve hexing off my bits. “No, I have never seen one. As for if I would ever want to; that all depends. It would have to be one that's done at least somewhat tastefully, nothing sadist or anything like that. Also, I would either watch it alone or with someone I completely trusted.”

Now this was definitely interesting information! This is data that I would have to keep stored at the forefront of my brain.

“What do you think about when you masturbate?”

DANGER! DANGER!

THIS IS A SETUP, POTTER!

Never in my life have I experienced internal conflict like this. On one hand, I feel if I answer honestly, she'll be mortified and sickened. On the other hand, if I answer dishonestly, I miss out on a clear and open opportunity to let her know how I'm feeling. What is a bloke to do? On the inside, I'm panicking. On the outside, I'm sure I look like an idiot. She has to know there's a reason I'm procrastinating. It's not one of the questions you really have to ponder. She's looking at me expectantly. Uh oh, she definitely knows something is up. Maybe she's expecting my answer to be her and is upset that I'm not saying so. Then again, maybe she realizes it's her and wishes I would just make up something to spare her the mortification. Okay, deep breath. You can do this, Potter. Just be honest. If she is disgusted, you'll just work through it. Okay, here it goes. “Well, recently, when I do it…Ithinkofyou.”

She's staring at me quizzically. I think she heard correctly, but doesn't believe she heard me correctly. Then, ever so slowly, I see her begin to grin. “Really?”

Now, I could assume a lot from this one word. Was she teasing? Was she flirting? Was she pleased? Was this the calm before the storm? I decided to press my luck with my next question; knowing full well that the beer was giving me that extra boost of confidence, though I was far from being drunk. “Do…do you want to watch a porno with me…right now?”

I watched intently, her grin never faltering. “You have a telly in your room, right?”

A/N: Yes, I know that, once again, I am truly evil for the ending it the way I did. I know I'm also evil for writing this before the forth chapter of Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon. I can't help it. When an idea hits me, I have to roll with it! Now, my question for the next part is should I tell it from both points of view? So far, each of them has had an entire piece to themselves. Please, let me know what you think!

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