Thoughts

Thoughts

By Cassie Valentine

Spoilers: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Summary: Hermione does some thinking.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A little part of him died tonight.

I don't really know what happened. No one does. So of course, the rumors are running wild. Some whisper about Harry's role in Cedric's death, while others wish for the term to end quickly so they can go home and get away from all of this.

"Come on Hermione," Ron says as he grabs my arm and gives me a little pull. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear Madame Pomfrey telling us to leave him for the night. "He'll be fine," he assures me. "He's always fine."

We walk back to the common room in silence, a few students sending sympathetic glances our way, others look like they blame us just as much as Harry for Cedric's death. Ron ignores them and pushes forward, dragging me along.

"You all right?" he asks when we're safely in the common room. "Hermione?"

"Yes," I say quickly as I realize that he's talking to me. "I'm fine Ron. Just a little tired, I suppose." He looks at me for a moment in disbelief, but then nods his head slowly.

"Well, I'm gonna head to bed. I reckon there will be an owl or two," he trails off.

"Night Ron," I say as I look at him. He takes that as a good sign and heads up to the boys' dormitory with one last look toward me.

~*~*~*~*~

I sat for some time in the common room, expecting tears or something to come, but nothing did. I sigh as I watch the fire start to die and decide I should probably just go to bed. As I reach the top of the stairs, something makes me turn to the boys¹ door instead of my own.

I creep in quietly, as not to wake any one and find my way to Harry's bed. I sit quietly for a moment and give Hedwig a pet before letting her out into the night. I spy his invisibility cloak peaking out of his trunk before I leave and on a wild, reckless impulse, I grab it. I fly out of the dormitory and out of the common room, hastily throwing it over me as I let my feet carry me to my destination. I slow as I reach the medical ward and I creep in, settling myself quietly by his bed.

I knew he wouldn't wake up. I knew about the dreamless sleep potion, so I sat quietly for a while, absentmindedly brushing some hair off of his forehead. It occurs to me at that moment that he is nothing more than a boy. Not some big hero the wizarding world builds him up to be, just Harry Potter, the boy. I also realize that, just maybe, something inside was changing my opinions about him and how I feel about him. I still love him as a friend, but I don¹t love him as I love Ron. I concentrate on this for a while but give up as I feel sleep starting to pull me under its spell. I wonder once more. This time, why sleep comes so easily when he was near.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Just a little note, not sure where I'm going with this, so, it may be on pause for a while longer. This one is from Hermione's point of view. Enjoy.

*****

Harry awoke slowly the next morning, blinking at the bright light coming through the window by his bed. He took his glasses from the bedside table and put them on, jumping slightly when he realized that there was only half a person beside his bed.

He blinked a little and rubbed his eyes before looking again. He smiled slightly when he realized that it was Hermione who had fallen asleep in a small chair beside his bed; his invisibility cloak was what she was using as a blanket.

"Hermione?" he asked quietly, his throat rough and dry. She stirred slightly and pulled the cloak a little tighter around herself. "Hermione," he called again. She opened her eyes this time and immediately blushed, jumping up and tripping in the cloak. He smiled as she landed in a heap on the floor.

"Harry," she said as she picked herself up and smoothed her skirt in a very unfrazzled-Hermione way. "You're up. I . .I . ." She stuttered as she picked up his cloak, folding it as she tried to mutter out an explanation.

"It's alright," he said. "Thank you."

"For what? Making a fool out of my self?" she asked as she stared at him.

"No, for being the first to come see me this morning," he answered quietly.

She blushed again.

"Truth be told Harry, I didn't come to see you this morning."

"You didn't?"

"No, I, I couldn't sleep. I was going to go to bed, but I needed to . . . ." she stopped when she realized what she was about to say.

"You needed to what?" he asked as he sat up in bed. She moved away from his bedside and headed toward the window, buying herself some time to think up an explanation.

"I needed to let Hedwig out for you," she finished lamely.

"Hedwig! I nearly forgot about her. Thank you," he said, knowing what Hedwig would have been like if she had not been let out at all last night. She turned to smile nervously at him.

"I, ah, I should go before Madame Pomfrey comes and finds me in here."

The two looked at each other for a moment.

"Right, of course. Tell Ron and Mrs. Weasley I say good morning and that I'm fine, will you?"

"Of course. I'll see you later then." She waved a little as she turned and left the medical wing.

She controlled her stride until she was out of the medical wing. She quickly sped up and was running for the Gryffindor common room. Hermione slowed slightly when she reached the Fat Lady's portrait. She uttered the password before any comments could be made about where she had been all night and what she had been up to. She snuck up the stairs and into the girls' dormitory, dropping the cloak and herself onto the bed.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she said to herself. As far as she could tell, she had made a complete fool of herself and practically ruined her friendship with Harry because of a stupid crush.

She'd had them before; Gilderoy Lockhart was a prime example. "Ignore it, and it'll fade. Try not to make a fool of yourself around Harry and everything will be fine."

"Hermione?" Her eyes widened and she looked up to see Lavender in the room.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice shaking a little.

"Are you alright? You were talking to yourself."

"Perfectly fine," Hermione answered, forcing a smile as she gathered up her books and shoved the cloak into her book bag and brushed past her. "See you in class then?" she said as she brushed past her. "Seamus?" He turned to look at her. "Put this in Harry's trunk for me, will you?" Seamus looked at the cloak she pulled out of her bag.

"Why do you have it?" he asked as he took it from her.

"Just do it, please?" he knew not to mess with her when she had that tone of her voice.

"Sure," he said as he headed for the dormitory.

He glanced back at her. She was definitely looking a little more frazzled than usual. Then again, considering what one of her best friends had been through, he could see why.

He smiled a little as he looked at cloak, realizing that it was the infamous invisibility cloak and his smile grew. Lavender had told him that Hermione hadn't come back to the dormitory last night and this just confirmed it.

*****